Wei-Chuan - 5 Reviews

Many times in my life I have forgotten how much I love grapes. It's a well-known fact that most things that are grape flavored resemble the fruit about as much as infants love chewing tobacco. Is that the most random comparison of all time? I think it just might be. The thing is that the trouble with grape doesn't end there. On top of being defamed by impersonators, there is a decent chance that when you eat a grape you're going to get a crappy soggy one; such a disappointing treat. When you get a good one though, life is good. A nice firm, juicy grape can go a long way with one's taste buds.

This here drink is a good middle ground between juice and drink. It's what all grape flavored things should aspire to be. Sure it would be much better if it was just grape juice with chunks of grape “meat” in it, but we all know that would be expensive, and also probably too tart for most consumers. To solve this conundrum Wei Chuan watered it down a bit, and then added a healthy dose of sugar. The result is a candied grape flavor, which isn't nearly as bad as it sounds. If were carbonated it would be the best grape soda I've ever tasted. Instead it winds up being a better than average grape drink. To be fair if it didn't have the chunks of grape in it, I probably would have only awarded it a three out of five bottle rating, but the meat is great. It's very similar in texture, size and flavor to aloe drinks. Everyone knows I can't get enough of those.

Jay and I are constantly and forever in cahoots. We were talking about how everything we've been drinking has been good but it's been pretty tame. Now we're talking. Now we've got chunks and mango and realistic flavors and something from Malaysia.

Still, man, after doing this for as long as I've been doing it, I just can't seem to figure out how companies could get Americans to drink chunky drinks like it's no big deal. Asia's got that under wraps, man. They love chunks and hats off to them because they're on top for that reason. It's a totally different dimension that us American turds just don't get.

I mean it, chunks. Chunks of real fruit. Sugar to keep the natural flavor of the mango and said mango tasting fine. If you ate a mango you very intricately crushed up into a glass, this would be it. Simple, chunky, different, delicious. Adjectives son, adjectives.

Let me be the first to congratulate kiwi for getting out of the abusive relationship that it was in with strawberry. For decades the only time you ever heard about this beautiful fruit was in relation to its counterpart. In those cases it always took a back seat to the red fruit. I know their relationship was forged because of their similar tiny black seeds, but it quickly went downhill. We've all heard what went on behind closed doors, but I'm not one to perpetuate the rumor mill. All I will say is that kiwi deserved better and I'm glad to see it stepping out on it's own into the spotlight.

Now after decades of living in the shadows, it was no surprise that kiwi wasn't going to come out of the gates and blow our minds. Sure, there are some issues with this beverage, but the important thing is that kiwi is trying and finally there is a beverage that is at least more accurately portraying it's natural flavor. Kiwi is not completely comfortable to come out all on it's own, so in here it is hiding behind sugar, and there's a whole lot of it. There is 69g of sugar in this 16.9oz can with a mixture of sugar, acesulfame K and aspartame. Sure, it tastes more like biting into a kiwi than any other drink I've ever had, but it tastes like you're biting into a canned kiwi that was in heavy syrup.

As a way of an apology for all the sugar kiwi actually put bits and chunks of itself into the drink as well. It gives it a nice texture that might be gross to some, but that someone like myself really enjoyed. Think of orange juice with a lot of pulp but switch the fruit and dump in way too much sugar. There you go.

Oh guava, you sassy girl. I feel that you are the most forgotten of the tropical fruits. It's not your fault. You are not to be forgotten. It's just that you are. You aren't doing anything wrong. Take this drink for instance. It's good. It's really good. I feel that it is a canned yet accurate portrayal of what you are like in real life. You know when they make biopics of people that are still alive and they get mad because everything was dramatized so much that it makes them look weak or like monsters? This drink, I feel, is "a day in the life" of you, guava. Why? Well the flavor isn't messed with, I don't think. It's filled with chunks and not just chunks of aloe, chunks of you, the fruit in questions. You provide and we make the most of what you give us. You are the lemon of fruits. You know that old phrase. If someone gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If someone gives you guaqva, you make a chunky guava drink. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that phrase I think my check would be in the mail.

Yang-mei is the official name for yum-berry. This is my first adventure in a straight up yum-berry beverage, and I have to tell you I'm not that impressed. It tastes like a foreign fruit punch. Does that make sense? Is that racist somehow? I don't know and I don't really care. It's insanely sweet. I can't even drink this entire 17oz bottle in one sitting. This is my third attempt at it. I think I'm looking at two more. I even had to check to make sure it wasn't a concentrate. It's not, just tons of sugar was involved with it's creation.