Malaysia - 20 Reviews

Do you know what American athletes are missing that those in Asia have access to? Carbonated sports drinks, that is what. Can you imagine being in the middle of a match of some sort, you are exhausted and dripping with sweat, and your trainer hands you a can o “carbonated isotonic drink?” What on Earth is refreshing about that? I was once given sparkling water while playing a show and I nearly spit it everywhere because bubbles are not what you need to quench your thirst. Water is all I want in such times, and I'm not even exerting that much energy. Even the minimum sugar in other sports drinks is a bit off putting to me in such times. Somehow this beverage has persevered for decades. Apparently they have done so without updating their look either, as this can looks more 70's Olympics than anything else I've ever seen.

If you can find it in yourself to look past this products intended purpose the taste isn't all that bad. It's strange, but not horrible. It's like someone mixed Squirt with lemon lime Gatorade. I don't know why anyone would do such a thing, but apparently someone in Malaysia did and liked the results enough to mass produce it. I really feel that if the grapefruit aspect of this was left out the taste would greatly suffer. Just carbonated Gatorade would be unwanted on all fronts. This way it at least has something interesting about it.

Many times in my life I have forgotten how much I love grapes. It's a well-known fact that most things that are grape flavored resemble the fruit about as much as infants love chewing tobacco. Is that the most random comparison of all time? I think it just might be. The thing is that the trouble with grape doesn't end there. On top of being defamed by impersonators, there is a decent chance that when you eat a grape you're going to get a crappy soggy one; such a disappointing treat. When you get a good one though, life is good. A nice firm, juicy grape can go a long way with one's taste buds.

This here drink is a good middle ground between juice and drink. It's what all grape flavored things should aspire to be. Sure it would be much better if it was just grape juice with chunks of grape “meat” in it, but we all know that would be expensive, and also probably too tart for most consumers. To solve this conundrum Wei Chuan watered it down a bit, and then added a healthy dose of sugar. The result is a candied grape flavor, which isn't nearly as bad as it sounds. If were carbonated it would be the best grape soda I've ever tasted. Instead it winds up being a better than average grape drink. To be fair if it didn't have the chunks of grape in it, I probably would have only awarded it a three out of five bottle rating, but the meat is great. It's very similar in texture, size and flavor to aloe drinks. Everyone knows I can't get enough of those.

Jay and I are constantly and forever in cahoots. We were talking about how everything we've been drinking has been good but it's been pretty tame. Now we're talking. Now we've got chunks and mango and realistic flavors and something from Malaysia.

Still, man, after doing this for as long as I've been doing it, I just can't seem to figure out how companies could get Americans to drink chunky drinks like it's no big deal. Asia's got that under wraps, man. They love chunks and hats off to them because they're on top for that reason. It's a totally different dimension that us American turds just don't get.

I mean it, chunks. Chunks of real fruit. Sugar to keep the natural flavor of the mango and said mango tasting fine. If you ate a mango you very intricately crushed up into a glass, this would be it. Simple, chunky, different, delicious. Adjectives son, adjectives.

Let me be the first to congratulate kiwi for getting out of the abusive relationship that it was in with strawberry. For decades the only time you ever heard about this beautiful fruit was in relation to its counterpart. In those cases it always took a back seat to the red fruit. I know their relationship was forged because of their similar tiny black seeds, but it quickly went downhill. We've all heard what went on behind closed doors, but I'm not one to perpetuate the rumor mill. All I will say is that kiwi deserved better and I'm glad to see it stepping out on it's own into the spotlight.

Now after decades of living in the shadows, it was no surprise that kiwi wasn't going to come out of the gates and blow our minds. Sure, there are some issues with this beverage, but the important thing is that kiwi is trying and finally there is a beverage that is at least more accurately portraying it's natural flavor. Kiwi is not completely comfortable to come out all on it's own, so in here it is hiding behind sugar, and there's a whole lot of it. There is 69g of sugar in this 16.9oz can with a mixture of sugar, acesulfame K and aspartame. Sure, it tastes more like biting into a kiwi than any other drink I've ever had, but it tastes like you're biting into a canned kiwi that was in heavy syrup.

As a way of an apology for all the sugar kiwi actually put bits and chunks of itself into the drink as well. It gives it a nice texture that might be gross to some, but that someone like myself really enjoyed. Think of orange juice with a lot of pulp but switch the fruit and dump in way too much sugar. There you go.

Oh guava, you sassy girl. I feel that you are the most forgotten of the tropical fruits. It's not your fault. You are not to be forgotten. It's just that you are. You aren't doing anything wrong. Take this drink for instance. It's good. It's really good. I feel that it is a canned yet accurate portrayal of what you are like in real life. You know when they make biopics of people that are still alive and they get mad because everything was dramatized so much that it makes them look weak or like monsters? This drink, I feel, is "a day in the life" of you, guava. Why? Well the flavor isn't messed with, I don't think. It's filled with chunks and not just chunks of aloe, chunks of you, the fruit in questions. You provide and we make the most of what you give us. You are the lemon of fruits. You know that old phrase. If someone gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If someone gives you guaqva, you make a chunky guava drink. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that phrase I think my check would be in the mail.

We at Thirsty Dudes love aloe drinks. You don't believe me? Look at the 73 (and counting) different aloe drinks we've had: http://www.thirstydudes.com/category/aloe-vera. Sure there has been a few bad apples in there, but overall I'm sure the aloe vera category has a better good to bad ratio than most on our site.

Back to the can at hand, I found this in an Asian market while I was visiting Boston last month. I'm really enjoying blueberry + aloe chunks combo. It's making me wish there were blueberry chunks in here as well, but you can't have it all I suppose. Part of me is regretting not saving this for the morning because this would be a great drink to enjoy while I waited for the bus tomorrow morning. Perhaps I'll do that another day with the other flavors I have. Though I think it's the blueberry that is making me think morning. I blame blueberry muffins.

Good things come in small cans. That sounds like some tagline for drink company X that ended up on the editing floor. I imagine Bob thought of the tagline on the way to work after days of emails that yielded no good ideas. He was probably so excited and couldn't wait to get to work for the first time in 20 years. He gave hints to his co-workers before the 9:30 meeting that he had a great idea.

The problem was he built it up so much that when they heard the mediocre tagline, they passed on it. He was devastated and always told the story over drinks with friends.

I almost forgot that I hadn't reviewed this drink yet. It's delicious is what I was trying to get at. It's really light and crisp and full of mango flavor. If it weren't so full of sugar I would drink these all the time.

This drink is the equivalent of dumping a whole mess of grapes into a blender with an obscene amount of sugar. Sure the grapes get cut up, but there are stuff a whole mess of chunks left over. That's okay though, we love chunks in our drinks. Okay, that sounds gross. I feel like I just said that we love vomit in our drinks. I'd like to go on record by saying that I have never drank vomit in a drink, and I hope that I never end up drinking vomit in a drink. If I did the result would just be the creation of more vomit to put in drinks, and as we already mentioned no one wants that, so it would be a waste of effort and time.

If someone had poured this into a glass and then given it to me, I would have assumed from looking at it that it was an aloe drink. Then after drinking it I would have thought that I had confirmed my earlier thought. I obviously would have been wrong. It's just water, grape juice and grape chunks, but it really does taste and feel like it is an aloe drink. The grape flavor is a bit stronger than any aloe I've ever had, but the similarities are there. I'm shocked that there is only 27g of sugar in here, because it tastes like someone dumped an entire sack of sugar into this little can. While my health would not appreciate that, my taste buds certainly do.

If my grandmother saw me drinking this she would probably yell something along the lines of, “You're drinking mums. Why are you drinking mums? Why are you drinking flowers?” I knew a chrysanthemum was a flower, but I never would have thought “oh yeah those are mums like in my grandmother's garden.” Yes I now realize that “mum”
is in chrysanthemum, but whenever I said the name before I always thought it was “chrysanthium.” I am certainly not a botanist.

To answer my grandmother's question I would have to respond with “I am contractually obligated to try every drink that is in my path that is not alcoholic.” I basically signed the Hippocratic Oath of beverages. Did this drink look appetizing when I saw it in the store? Nope, but I bought it anyways out of obligation. I admit that I have grown to appreciate some flowery drinks over the past two years or so, but a flower that looks like the one on this can is not screaming flavor. I know exactly how that flower smells and I don't want to taste it. I really don't, but I must. Fine I'll get it over with quick. Hmmm that was an unexpected turn of events. This drink is overloaded with the taste of licorice root. I expected Easter floral hell, but what I got was only ever so slightly floral and mostly licorice. Sometimes I wish that licorice root tasted like red licorice, but that's really not licorice at all. I actually absolutely despise black licorice “licorice,” but I love things flavored with licorice root, specifically root beers. I'm actually a bit bummed that Mike isn't here to enjoy this with me, because I know he would absolutely love it. To recreate this beverage, get yourself a bottle of sweet tea and while you're drinking it chew on a stick from a licorice tree (yeah we've done it, but it doesn't make us hippies). Swallow and repeat.

Never before has apple flavor tasted so sickeningly sweet, yet still tasted so much like an actual apple. The spectrum of apple drinks normally ranges from your everyday normal apple juice to that disgusting fake sour apple flavor that tastes nothing like an actual apple. This somehow tastes like apple candy, but in a way makes you think that you're actually biting into a nice red apple that has been soaking in a barrel of sugar water for the past three weeks. It's strange, and it seems like it should be gross, you know too much, but it's somehow not. On top of that it has chunks of nata de coco in it that make for a fun experience. So it's now like that sugar soaked apple has little chunks of hard coconut bit throughout it. Wow, typed out that sounds completely disgusting, but believe me it works. Kids would probably enjoy this more than most adults, but if a lot of sugar doesn't bother you, pick up a bottle at your local Asian market.

Here's another treat from Editor Dan. That lucky so-and-so went up to Toronto to see Portishead. I was poor at the time tickets went on sale, and I missed out on my opportunity. Whenever I hear Portishead I think of a French club. It's dark, smoky and everything is slightly illuminated red. Portishead is playing over the PA and everyone is just getting down and slowly grinding on each other. During this scene in my head everyone is smoking for some reason. It's a very specific vision, and I think it's hysterical. It's also hysterical that Portishead would lead into a review for this drink, because the only way this drink would seem more inappropriate in that scene is if it came in juice boxes. This drink pretty much embodies the concept of fun. Portishead is not fun. They are wonderful, dark, mysterious and sexy, but they are not fun. This is a sugary sweet mango drink that taste way more like the juice you would lick from your fingers when trying to open a mango without the proper utensils than you would expect from a drink that comes in such packaging. Also, it has little cubed bits of nada de coco, which makes the drink even more fun. I love it when appropriate drinks have nada de coco in them. In this it's like there are tiny bits (of hardened) mango in it. I love trying to chew on them.

No you shouldn't drink this while listening to trip hop. I think some ska punk would be more up to speed. Less Than Jake I'm looking in your direction.

One reason you don't mess around with a Thirsty Dude is because we're overly sarcastic, very quick witted, and could destroy most anyone in a battle of wits. Another reason is because we stock all sorts of drinks that you don't know exist so when you ask, jokingly, for something "chunky and slimy", there is a good chance we can product such a drink with ease and you will be stuck drinking your own words.

One of my bosses requested the previously mentioned variety of drink and I was lucky enough to have on in the fridge at that moment, so from unsuspecting, funny suggestion to sorry and chunks took all of five minutes.

This is a stretch for me to say. I will say it, because I mean it, though, so here goes. This is the best lychee drink and the best nata de coco drink I've ever had. It's got a great lychee flavor and is very strong scented. Very perfumey, like an old woman that you don't mind sitting next to on the bus. The coco chunks have a great, fun, consistency that isn't too hard, and isn't too soft. It's not like an aloe as it has way more bite to it. I could only describe it as a very, very soft eraser. I liked it and would drink it again. Thank you Malaysia, the gayest country in Asia.

Remember that time when you had an undying need to get a poncho? You thought they were just the coolest and you needed one to live, well at least to live with the kids who ditched class and snuck across the street to smoke cigarettes. It was the early 90's and it was a different world than it is now. It was a world where poncho's, or drug rugs, were a sign of stature.

You begged and pleaded with your mom to take you to get one. She wouldn't give in said that you would look stupid wearing one, especially since you hated the Grateful Dead. So you waited and ended up going with the older kids in your shop class that wore leather jackets, even in the summer. Those guys must be touch. They said they were going to the "head shop" anyways, but you had to pay gas, and ride in the trunk. Whatever, anything for that sweet, sweet poncho. As you walked into the shop, still a bit woozy from the exhaust that spilled in through the holes in the trunk, you were blasted with the smell of hippies and incense. It's a smell that you would become familiar with over the next few years at parties in dimly lit basements.

When you graduated high school you thought, and hoped that smell would never be apart of your life again. It didn't until you cracked open a can of Yeo's green tea. The smell was kind of there, but Christ did it taste the way that head shop smelled. One would think that something like that should never hit your taste buds, but it's actually a little bit of alright. This is supposed to be jasmine green tea, but I've had jasmine tea before and it tastes nothing like this. The only way to describe it is to say it tastes like ill lit basements, black-light posters, and incense. It will also fill you with shame for once owning a drug rug, even if you only wore it twice. Really, what was I thinking?

I didn't want this to be as good as it was. I thought to myself that I had been getting off too easy with a lot of these flavors and you, the public, might see some strange drink at a store, are curious, check the site, see that it's gross, and put it down. We travel far and wide to get some of the strangest things we can find, stupidly buy them, stupidlier drink them, and give your our intimate thoughts on them or some equally entertaining/less helpful review.

This guy isn't bad. It's got a tropical, nectar taste to it. Think of passionfruit nectar and if you like that, you'll like this. This dude I work with, Ken, is almost from the Bahamas and he told me how his mom made stuff with the seeds and how they dried the leaves and all about the soursop's medicinal properties for inflammation and pregnancy and such. What a super-fruit! Honestly, if it makes a good juice like this, help people alleviate pain, and do all that other stuff, it's got to be good.

Try it. You'll probably find it at your local Jamaican or Asian market. Sometimes they are the same thing. That is strange to me.

This is not my first dance with grass jelly drink. I have had it before and although I will say this one isn't as good, it's not undrinkable.

There are chunks in it. Surprise! Surprise, dude! There are chunks in it and there isn't anything that you can do about it. You could pour it through a colander, but that you make you a pansy, a girlie man. A wuss. If you're going to buy something, drink it how it comes. Don't modify it. Just do it. Nike®.

While wearing a pair of butter new Air Max 90's, try this drink on for size. It's a light, sweet tea taste but without all of the sweetness of sweet tea. Then, when you man up and decide to bite down into the gummy grass jelly goodness, it's like the flavor crystal of drinks. This drink is like the Ice Breakers of drinks. It's a different taste but it's from Malaysia and you leave them alone. They're fine people.

Plums? Prunes? Who cares? This stuff is rough. Rough like the seas that took down so many of our Viking brethren. Brethren. Remember how awesome it was when Hey Mercedes used the phrase "uniformed brethren" and you thought to yourself, "Woah, what a good use of that term." Is that me patting myself on the back for using words? Possibly, it's not the point. I am neither a genius nor a scholar. I don't read books and I do not partake in even the finest of wines. Parts of me wish that I would after drinking this near abomination.

Where to start? Well, first sip seems like a good place. It was gross. I asked myself in ever stage, "What's this in the middle?" and favorites like, "What's happening at the end?" The more you drink, the better it gets, but that's not to say that it's ever good or even drinkable. Between three people and two additional "sippers" there is still easily half a can of this stuff left. If you take a couple sips your mouth masks the grossness a couple percentage points and you find the prune/plum but it's not how you want it to taste. It's a tiny bit fruity, wildly bitter, and mostly undrinkable.

White gourd drink? Yes, I will. Who could possibly love this? Why is this made? What could this taste like? How many units of this could Yeo possibly sell annually? Well, once you get past the fact that it is, in fact, made from actual white gourd juice, you find out that it's not terrible. At first sip for me, I guessed that it tasted like caramel and, lo and behold, caramel is one of the ingredients. From there, everyone else who drank it thought something different like pretzels, peanuts, and a Snickers bar. No one is wrong. It somehow manages to taste like all of these at the same time. As soon as someone said "pretzel" I tasted it and it tasted like a pretzel. It's like the chameleon of strange flavored drinks.

This is a good drink to get someone who was unsuspecting, make them drink it, not tell them what it is, and then have them say, "Oh, it's not bad." before you told them, "Ha ha ha! You just drank gourd juice, dude!" I'm just doing what I can to make this drink part of your everyday life and your everyday pranks.

Many of the frequent Thirsty Dudes and Thirsty Dames have recommended Milo to me. I looked and looked and looked but couldn't find it anywhere. People were willing to ship it to me from the outer reaches of the earth, and for that I thank them. Lucky for me, Jay found it at an Asian market that we actually frequent, frequently. So here we are today, judgment day. Judgment day for Milo.

It was pretty good. It wasn't as thick as I thought it would be. It was not like chocolate milk but more like a thinner soymilk. I couldn't taste any nutrients or minerals. I can't really feel the energy surging...coursing? Yeah, coursing. I can't feel the energy coursing through my body but who cares? It's pretty good and the masses love it.

So, enjoy thirsty guys and gals. It's good. You were right.

Dear nata de coco, I know you mean well, and you are so close to being incredible. It turns out that you are just a little too hard and solid. I wish you were just a little bit gummier. In the end really, it's not you it's me. You really do have a decent mango flavoring to you, but I just can't get into the texture of your chunks. As a result I will be continuing my affair with your cousin. That's right, I'm leaving you for my true love....aloe. Please stay strong through this. I know in a moment of weakness I will probably give you another try, but realize this will only be a fleeting moment, and we are not meant to be.

This is surprisingly good, like "would buy again" good. If I had to describe the taste, it would just be a black tea with a lot of cane sugar. I didn't get much chrysanthemum, which was honestly a bummer. I kind of wanted a nice, light flowery drink. There was an element of "something" which I'm assuming was chrysanthemum, but the sugar was a bit overpowering. Not too overpowering, but enough to beat the race to the finish line with the pre-desired flower taste.

Still it wasn't bad. I was hoping for a little dirty, garden flower taste, but, alas, it was not delivered.