Sucrose - 113 Reviews

Purple stuff. We've all seen the Sunny D commercial so you all know what I'm talking about when I say that. Purple drink is a little more kind to say, as it is drinkable. This energy drink reminds me of purple drink. It has a purple/grape taste that is hard to mistake. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's just nothing to write home about. As far as energy drinks as a whole go, this is definitely in the top 50 percentile.

I still think I would like it more if there was a cartoon bee on the can. But sadly it probably wouldn't be the bee that is in my head with a Rambo headband/armbands, bulging muscles, wounds, etc... Now that I'm typing this out, it sounds like a horrible idea. Don't listen to my can design suggestions Killer Buzz.

Seriously, how many flavors does Gatorade have? Every time I think I know them all I turn around at a store and an unfamiliar face is staring up at me, just taunting. I think there were less than five varieties when I was a kid, and I was okay with that. Then they expanded their line and things got a little lighter, and I thought to myself, well that actually is much better. Now there are so many that I can't even keep track, and the thing is that unless I drink them side by side, a lot of them taste very similar.

A little research told me that as of now the Fit line is no longer in production, but that it should be back next year, after some reformulating/repackaging. With this line they were trying to ensnare gym rats into their empire. The entire line included a pre-workout protein bar, a fruit based protein drink for while you work out and these low calorie versions of their normal drinks for post gym time. For me that is far too much to worry about. I'll drink water when I work out, and occasionally a protein drink afterwards. Then again I'm not fanatical about the gym. I'm not trying to get ripped, just to stay in some moderate form of health.

So yeah, this line didn't quite catch on, but it tastes okay to me. It's low calorie, but they get there by mixing sucrose and stevia, so it doesn't have an overly diet taste. The stevia is there a little, but it's easily ignored. The beverage is clear, which is strange for Gatorade, but I understand they are trying to give the illusion of it being a better alternative to water while working out, and any sort of coloring in a drink would take away from that notion. The flavor is the lightest I've ever tasted in a Gatorade flavor. It's hard to distinguish the mango or passion fruit, since they are normally such prominent flavors. By dialing them back it gives the beverage a general tropical flavor that hints at each, but doesn't go overboard.

It's too bad that this line didn't catch on, well at least these post workout drinks. They make for a decent low calorie beverage that doesn't taste like poison.

Children, come and join me. Sit around ye old fountain soda machine as I tell you a tale of woe and wonder. It all began last week when I received a note adhesed to my front door. Now this was no ordinary note, it was instructing me to head to my local postal office after 8am the following day in order to pick up a package. I was intrigued as I had no idea what could possibly be in said box. I assumed it was drinks, but what kind of magic elixir would it contain? Images of teas and fancy sodas danced the tango in my head all night long. It was quite a vision.

The next afternoon after completing my days work on the farm (printing shirts in the basement) I hopped upon my steed (behind the wheel of my car) and headed to my destiny. Upon arrival the building was void of customers and I made quick work of making my way to a clerk. I handed her the note that was on my door and she gave me a strange look as she asked for identification. Having left my official Thirsty Dudes badge back at the home front I presented her with my drivers license, which had an old address on it. Since the addresses did not match I was given a difficult time. I assured her that the package was for me. I showed her how the names matched, and I presented a health insurance card with the correct address listed. That is when the questions started: What was in the box? Why was it so heavy? Did I know there were shipping regulations? I told her that I had no idea what was in the box, and did an embarrassing explanation of what this site was all about. Explaining to an annoyed woman who is entering her twilight that you run a website that reviews non-alcoholic beverages makes you look like a bit of a maniac.

After a longer time than I would like to admit of trying to convince the clerk that I was who I said I was, that the package was for me and that I was not 100% sure what was in the package, the box was brought out from the back. It was completely covered in orange tape and as it was laid before me I noticed that its place of origin was Amsterdam. I know understood all of the hesitation and questioning; this woman thought I was getting marijuana shipped to me. Without thinking about it I let out a big “Oooohhhhhhh, you thought this was weed. I assure you it is not,” as if my word was all she needed, because you know drug dealers/buyers never lie.

I quickly took my leave of the post office made my way to my car and tore into the packaging with my pocketknife. Inside the box were not packages of Europe's finest “dank nugs,” instead it was filled with cans of Cannabis Energy Drink. I sat. I laughed. I pondered what I would do if there was in fact weed in the box. I then drove home, took some pictures and put a couple of cans in the fridge for later consumption.

Let me tell you boys and girls, it took me longer than I expected to actually drink a can. I had no reason to be up all night until yesterday. I popped a top, took a swig and said goodbye to a good night's sleep. I had expected my mouth to be filled with a fluid that tasted like iced tea filtered through rope; heavy on the rope with a touch of lemon, as that is what other hemp drinks I have had tasted like. Unfortunately, I got no rope. What I did get was a beverage that tasted very similar to the fruity generic classic energy drink flavor (is Red Bull). It's a flavor that I have come to love, so it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, I just hoped for something more from Cannabis, as it had such potential. There is hemp seed extract in the beverage, but it's not very apparent in the taste, not that I really know what it tastes like, but all I get is Red Bull, so I don't think there's really much there.

I will tell you that even though I tried to sleep more, I only got about 3 hours of sleep the night I drank this, so the energy aspect of it surely works, and my body hates them for how well it actually did. Now children I hope you don't have nightmares from this tale, but if you come and see me I will give you lighters and shirts that were also in the box from the Netherlands.

Who knows what one does in their sleep? Perhaps you are a werewolf and without even knowing you transform into a wild beast and cause havoc throughout your town. Maybe you sleep-mallwalk with a bunch of geriatrics that wake up at 3am. Some people have night terrors of game show blunders past that cause them to be restless. Or perhaps it's simply the time when you think you are a Viking. If any of those things are true of you, then you certainly wake up with a loss of fluids and a lack of electrolytes in your system.

The only rational solution to these problems is to grab an oversized bottle of sugary beverage and down it as soon as you wake up. I mean staying healthy is a must and you'll be damned if nighttime you is going to ruin the rest of your day. So chug my friend, chug!

Guess what this tastes like? That's right it has the same sodium base as every other flavor of Gatorade. Not a bad thing at all. I like when drinks have a specific taste through out their entire product line so that you can spot them in blind taste tests. It's a taste America has known and love for decades. This version they went a little tropical with the taste. There may not be any mango listed on the ingredients, but it tastes enough like the fruit that you don't feel cheated. It is way sweeter than anything I would typically want to drink in the morning, but I'm not an athlete, a werewolf or have grandeurs of sailing the seven seas plundering villages. I'm just a Thirsty Dude, who thinks this tastes just fine, but I wouldn't drink it in the morning…€¦.okay it's 9am right now, but I drank 90% of this yesterday. I'm just finishing it off to get a taste for the review.

I don't know what it's like to not be able to live without coffee. I always attribute it to an addiction. I suppose it's not hard to not be addicted to coffee when you don't particularly enjoy coffee. Saying that is like saying, "Yeah, I could be addicted to crystal meth but I don't like crystal meth so I don't do it." This isn't something even a coffee fiend could get addicted to, though. I don't know a lot about coffee but I feel that this is a bit too acidic and too sweet for even the most budding of coffee addicts. It is sweet and it is smooth and it doesn't taste like an energy drink which, insultingly so, is the mark for a good energy drink. It's a tad diet tasting due to the sucrose but it's not terrible. It does have a lingering sub-par coffee taste which isn't too offensive.

Honestly though, I don't know if this is technically an energy drink or a coffee drink. Isn't coffee an energy drink in itself? This could be the two mixed together for all I know and who needs coffee, and energy drink, and an energy drink? You need to calm down, buddy. Get some sleep. You need sleep more than you need energy. You might also need some water. Cleanse your body a little bit. Now that I'm looking at you, you could stand to get some exercise, too. I know, it's mean, but we're friends, right? I'm being honest.

We at Thirsty Dudes love aloe drinks. You don't believe me? Look at the 73 (and counting) different aloe drinks we've had: http://www.thirstydudes.com/category/aloe-vera. Sure there has been a few bad apples in there, but overall I'm sure the aloe vera category has a better good to bad ratio than most on our site.

Back to the can at hand, I found this in an Asian market while I was visiting Boston last month. I'm really enjoying blueberry + aloe chunks combo. It's making me wish there were blueberry chunks in here as well, but you can't have it all I suppose. Part of me is regretting not saving this for the morning because this would be a great drink to enjoy while I waited for the bus tomorrow morning. Perhaps I'll do that another day with the other flavors I have. Though I think it's the blueberry that is making me think morning. I blame blueberry muffins.

Two facts about me: I like sour things and I like energy drinks. Put them together and theoretically I will be very happy. Aside from the mash up flavor name of "Bubbleberry", this would have been one of the first drinks I would have proposed if I got a job at Rockstar.

Other things I will do in my first week at my less-than-ideal job at Rockstar include:

• Take the star out of the logo.


• Fire anyone who played "All Star" by Smash Mouth, "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill, or any other song that featured some play of "rock star" heavily in the lyrics.


• Make this drink not so gross by keeping the awesome sour taste but adding a good flavor to it that didn't taste like energy drink battery acid.


• Secure a deal with Rockstar Games to trade energy drinks for free video games for all employees.


• Ensure "Bubbleberry" is never on another Rockstar can ever again.


• Taco tuesdays.

In a theoretical fight, who do you think would win, a lion or a bull? What if one of them happened to be roaring and the other was colored red for some reason? Some might say that the lion would win because it has sweet fangs and claws (aka it's a lot sweeter and more candy-like). Others may choose the bull because of its ravaging horns (aka more carbonation). Me, I think it's a pretty even match and that both parties should just nod their heads and walk away from each other. I mean this is all theoretical of course.

Can someone look back at the Truman Show-esque tapes of my life and tell me exactly what happened to make me such a fool for melon? When I was younger I never disliked melon, but I always thought of it as just there. In fruit salad it was the filler. One of the greatest Simpsons' quotes is about how cantaloupe doesn't matter when it comes to honey dew. I don't think a good laugh is enough to change my taste buds though. It remains a mystery, but I love melon these days.

For years I have been talking about how all I want is a bottle of cantaloupe juice. Think of how amazing that would be. It would be so damn flavorful. The last place I expected to get a little fix for my urge would be in a bottle of Gatorade. While this is a far cry from a glass of actual melon juice, it does taste enough like a mix of cantaloupe and honey dew to satisfy me until science comes through for me. It mostly has that general Gatorade flavor, with notes of said melons. This is the kind of Gatorade I would drink at an early morning sports practice. Remember that dumb summer when I decided to join the school football team and had to waste my vacation getting up way to early? You don't? Well looks like you should rewind those tapes of my life a bit further. I forced a fumble once that won us a game. That play probably consisted of 75% of the game time I actually got. Go make some popcorn, you're in for a wild ride.

Do you know what lions don't like? Processed, chemical garbage. Don't get me wrong they will eat the hell out of it, but they won't feel good about themselves doing it. I feel the same way. Does that make me a lion? I have no fierce roar, but I do have a nice golden beard, so perhaps I am partway there. I will on occasion partake in an energy drink, but I generally feel terrible about doing it. There are all sorts of weird chemicals in those things that humans, or any creatures for that matter, should probably not ingest. When I find an organic energy drink, it's something I feel a bit better about drinking.

Roaring Lion knows that most people don't care about such things, so they have a line of regular energy drinks. For folks like myself they formulated the “Au Natural” version. Nowhere on the bottle does it say that it is organic, but it does say it's all natural (with artificial flavor) and that is enough for me not to feel like I'm poisoning myself all that much. Yes I know there are plenty of things found in nature that could kill me instantly, but I'm fairly certain none of them are contained in this bottle.

I don't really know what I expected this to taste like, but it ended up reminding me of a slightly lighter tasting version of your generic energy drink. You know the ones that are all derivative of the flavor of Red Bull. I personally have no problem with that, because it's a flavor that I enjoy. It's a somewhat regular occurrence for me to wish out loud that there were a soda available that tasted like that, without the energy giving properties. If you're striving to be a lion like myself and you like the flavor of such energy drinks, but you don't want to pour all that toxic garbage in your body that will more than likely end up killing you in a couple of decades, give this little guy a try. As an added bonus it comes in a resealable bottle. Now that's something more energy drinks need.

Devotion. Courage. Sacrifice. That is the tag line for this company, but I feel like it should also be the Thirsty Dudes motto.

Devotion: We've been reviewing drinks since 2009.
Courage: We have tried some utterly disgusting drinks
Sacrifice: Do you know how many calories we have probably consumed? Not to mention all the sugar we have ingested. I personally recently had to have 6 cavities filled, and 2 teeth pulled. While I'm not blaming that all on Thirsty Dudes, but I'm sure it was a contributing factor.

Apparently this is one of the most popular energy drinks in Thailand. It's non-carbonated, which threw me off at first. I was expecting it to taste like Red Bull, but instead it's like a pineapple-peach juice taste. It's actually not that bad.

Nothing is more exhausting than a kid's birthday party. If you haven't been and are scoffing, I dare you to go to one and come home and not want to sleep. I dare you to go and not want to drive your car into oncoming traffic. It's not bad but if you have every been in close quarters with a seemingly infinite number of kids all making a mess of juice boxes and cake, you too will want it to be over before it began.

For that reason, I am happy that Jesus invented energy drinks and, more specifically, this one. I don't really like Red Bull. I use the same analogy of concentrated candy but it's what I taste. This, though, this is rather great. It's swapped candy for a good, slightly carbonated cranberry. It almost tastes like non-alcoholic cranberry juice. If you need to celebrate in around ten ounces at a time and don't have anyone to celebrate something with and need a pick-me-up then this is the drink for you. I know, I know, there are a lot of prerequisites for this drink, but you don't need to obey them all. I'm just trying to give you an ideal scenario to enjoy this drink. Honestly, you could enjoy this drink anywhere because it's very good. It actually makes me anxious to see what other new drinks Red Bull might come up with.

Wait, so you're telling me that star of Boyz in the Hood, Cuba Gooding Jr, has his own special edition flavor of Monster energy drink? Can you drive stick? Oh no, you can only drive shifter cars like the Cadillac Eldorado? Oh, this drink really has nothing to do with Mr Gooding…€¦Jr? In reality it's a play on a Cuban alcoholic beverage? Well, I can't say I care much about that. What I do care about is the son of Furious Styles and the sweet texture of this can. It's like an aluminum version of concrete. Oh, you want to know about the flavor of this and not my thoughts on a cinematic masterpiece? Well it tastes like regular Monster with some lime mixed in. It has a real lime flavor too, not that fake Freezie Pop flavor either. Now show me the Doughboy!

Congratulations, you my friend have found the golden ticket that entitles you to take a tour of the Wonka candy factory. I'd like to preface this by telling you that this is nothing like the movie. There is no river of chocolate, or crazy experimental gum that will make you float, and I must emphasize that you will not be put into the running to be handed the keys to the entire establishment at the end. Our factory is a factory and nothing else. It's just a bunch of big machinery that pumps out sugary goodness. There is a gift shop at the end where you can buy some of our goods as well. I would also like to add that this will be a long in-depth tour, as I like to explain every little thing in great detail. I am sick of the folks on my tour falling asleep, so here is a complimentary can of Red Bull. I must also urge you to not touch any of the candy as we move through the factory. The movie may have been fictitious, but the accidents it shows can and will be very real if you put your little hands where they don't belong.

Let us start off with the Pixie Stix machine. This machine powderizes the sugar and adds a little flavor...HEY! What are you doing?! Didn't I just tell you not to touch anything? Here you are dumping some of the flavoring extract for the blue Pixie Stix into your Red Bull. Oh great, the sugar caused it to fizz over and now there's a mess on the floor. Do you know how long it's been since we had an accident here at Wonka? Are you trying to ruin my streak? I don't care that it tastes like blueberry Red Bull now. No I really don't care! I am furious with you. Seriously I don't care. I can perfectly envision in my mind what concentrated blue Pixie Stix flavor and Red Bull would taste like together. I admit that it would taste nice, but my anger with you is complete and I will have to wait until after security has led to you to make some myself and sell the recipe to Red Bull. Oh think of it now the merging of two great companies. Mr. Wonka will be so pleased with me. Maybe he'll even hand the company over to me instead of some punk nosed kid. Oh yes I lied earlier; you were going to get the company. Instead you and your con artist of a grandfather can go back to living in squalor. How can a grown man pretend to be in pain and not walk for years and then just jump up and dance suddenly? I'm calling shenanigans!

I worked at Fun Fun Fun Fest again this year and one of the big sponsors was Red Bull. Big as in you couldn't walk 5 feet without being handed a can of Red Bull. It was 80 degrees in Austin all weekend long so instead of hot coffee I drank cold Red Bull.

Just as I was getting sick of the taste of Red Bull, I came across this can in a cooler. It's as if they really wanted to keep to the "limited edition" of the flavor and only brought one can for every 10,000 because this was the first time I saw it all weekend. Regardless of it being new, I was excited for something different in taste.

And it's definitely different, in a great way. It's lemon lime flavored! It's not as if they poured 7UP into Red Bull, it tastes nothing like regular Red Bull and everything like a delicious lemon-lime soda. If this were a regular Red Bull flavor, people would buy this in stampedes and leave the old cans in the dust.

Passion fruit. The fruit of passion. Rumor has it, if you eat one right before...you know...rocking the sheets, you will have a better time than if you go in un-fruited. Now a passion fruit drink filled with vitamins and minerals specially formulated to help you get the job done is another story. Fresh out of the fridge, this drink is pretty good. It's got a strong passion fruit taste and a little diet taste but not terribly offensive. The longer you take to drink it though, buddy, it goes downhill.

Look, if I'm getting ready for a night in the sack, I would chug this until the can is empty or I ran out of breath so that's not a problem. If you are drinking it as a casual drink, which is strange since you aren't normally doin' it at 1:20pm on a workday, you are going to suffer the consequences. This drink gets more diet tasting and more cough syrupy the longer you take to drink it. If it tasted like it does now all the time, I would have rated this lower, but since I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt of you slamming this before a sweet night of love making, I'm upping the review.

Sometimes, and truckers I'm looking at you, all the horny goat weed in the world just doesn't do the trick. You need something else for those hungry lot lizards. That something else is this bido Juice. It's for your libido. That's your sexuals. It will help you put another notch on the ol' bedpost while in the (un)comforts of your own truck in that odd bed that probably doesn't have actual bedposts so you might just draw a little tick on the wall. Oh the wall in the cab of a truck. I imagine it looking like an old movie jail cell where there are just ticks everywhere. Truckers, you are men. Nabbin' skirts. That's your second job. Delivering packages and delivering packages. That's what you do.

This is an energy drink that is put out/sponsored by NASCAR driver Robby Gordon. Is that even close to a good idea? I feel like driving in a circle at high speeds requires intense concentration. All of the garbage in energy drinks tends to make people jittery or jumpy, at least I know that's how I get. This doesn't seem to be a specially formulated drink that helps with concentration like NERD (aka the steroids of NASCAR). It's the opposite actually. This was the cheapest energy drink the gas station had, and I was expecting the taste to reflect the cost. I was happily wrong and this has a decent citrus taste. It's reminiscent of the Monster Khaos drink, except this one has no actual juice in it. It has a flavor that I would describe as orange drink and tangerine drink mixed together, but not as thick. There's something about citrus flavor in energy drinks that helps to block out the chemical flavor in them. I'm very surprised that I liked this as much as I did, and I would drink it again if I found myself in a gas station needing a pick-me-up. Let's just hope the number of crashes in NASCAR isn't proportionate to the spike of energy drink use. I know the crashes are probably the only exciting thing about a race, but there are real people in those cars and I don't want to see anyone getting seriously hurt.

Stephen was obsessed with looking like a troublemaker from the 1950s. He cuffed his jeans, wore Doc Martins (he knew it was more a modern adaptation of the greaser look, but he liked the way they looked), he wore his hair short with a slight wave to the side in front and always wore plain white shirts. In his mind he looked exactly like Kiefer Sutherland when he played Ace in Stand By Me. The only thing he needed to make his look complete was a leather motorcycle jacket. In his mind nothing would look cooler than him in his jacket. It was late July when he finally saved up enough money to buy the old broken in jacket he had been eyeing at the thrift store. His look was now complete and even though the weather was in the 90's every day he wouldn't take off his jacket. He felt he had to suffer for his image to prove how tough he was. He sure did sweat a lot though, and he felt dehydrated all of the time.

He decided he really needed to hydrate himself, so he went to the corner store and picked up a bottle of Gatorade. He decided that while raspberry melon didn't sound like the toughest flavor, it did sound like it would taste wonderful. He glared at the clerk and paid for his drink and a pack of smokes. He didn't really smoke, but he liked how the guys in Stand By Me rolled them up in their sleeves. Also, it gave him an excuse to take off the jacket for a few minutes and cool down. He went outside, through his coat over a railing and leaned against the building with one foot, all cool like. He cracked open his drink and took a big gulp. Man the drink was good. He hadn't realized that he had grabbed a low calorie drink, but it wasn't that bad. It was sweetened with sucralose as well as regular sucrose, but it didn't taste diet much at all. It had a nice subtle melon taste that was somewhere between a honeydew and a cantaloupe, just where a melon flavor should be. He didn't realize until he was drinking it how raspberry was an overlooked flavor in sports drinks. Sure it was around plenty in teas, but not in anything like this. This was one the best Gatorades that Stephen had ever tried. He was halfway through with the bottle and he decided it would look cool if he chugged the rest. Being the klutz that he was he spilled it all over his white shirt. He looked down in disgust at his once pristine white shirt that had instantly been dyed pink. He didn't look touch at all. He looked like the turd that he really was. Shamed he road his Huffy bike that was made to look like a motorcycle home. Life sure is hard for this 27 year old.

Today I turn 33. I really couldn't care less about my birthday. As Patton Oswalt so wisely pointed out there are only 20 birthdays that really count, and I have 7 more years until I get to celebrate again. So logic would show that today is a day like no other. Logic would be flawed today. Sure my birthday doesn't matter, but more important than that, and just about anything else, is that the new Batman movie comes out tonight. Any celebrations that I may have, or any gifts I receive are not because of my birthday, they are because of Batman Day aka the best holiday of all.

Since my birthday doesn't matter, I worked today. I woke up and printed a buttload of shirts in my shop, which gets way to hot this time of year. It really is exhausting and since I am going to see The Dark Knight Rises at midnight (and I'm sure it will be three hours long) I decided to give this Monster Java a try. I like it. It tastes like any other prepackaged chocolate-coffee drink. I always thought that taurine was what gave energy drinks that weird chemical taste, but there is just as much in this can as there is in other energy drinks, and this just tastes like over-sweetened coffee with chocolate mixed in. I am grateful for that. If it had that energy drink taste this would be puke sauce in a can. If you are someone who likes your coffee black, you probably think this is far too sweet. Actually, you probably would be the type of person that wouldn't bother with any sort of fancy coffee at all. This is very sweet. It's actually sweeter than even I, who doesn't really like coffee much, would want it to be. I do enjoy it though, and I'm sure it will help to keep me up and alert to watch the “breaking of the bat.” Seriously, you have no idea how pumped I am to see Bane wreak havoc on Gotham. It's going to be so sweet!

This is little sister Gatorade. I don't mean that in a sexist, “everything that is pink is for little girls” way. I mean it in the “my little sister was obsessed with strawberry watermelon drinks when we were younger” kind of way. I guess I shouldn't really call her my little sister anymore as she's about to turn 30 and get married on the same day, but who cares? She loved drinks like this and because she was my younger sibling and there are always some sort of rivalries, I could never take the flavor seriously. Even now that we're both adults I see this as a kids drink.

In reality it tastes nothing like the result of juicing a bunch of strawberries and watermelons. It tastes pink, if pink were an actual flavor. There are the slightest hints at a strawberry-esque flavor, but it doesn't really taste like the fruit. To keep my theme going I will say it tastes the same way that Strawberry Shortcake's breath smelled. Even after all of that, and putting my childish rivalries aside, it's still a decent drink. Not all drinks should taste like fruit. I'm sure it does a fine job of hydrating and quenching thirst and isn't that all they ever really claimed to do at Gatorade HQ? It's sweet, it's watery and my sister would love it.