Sucrose - 113 Reviews

I think it's fair to say that the two hottest drink styles out there currently (besides the classic sodas) are energy drinks and coconut water. It seems like every time I go out drink shopping there is a new version of one of them just waiting to be ingested and half assed reviewed. To save me some time Rockstar decided to combine the two. Yes, that is the only reason they put this into production. Rockstar cares about me as an individual. I get cards from them on the holidays, gifts on my birthday and monthly calls just to see how I'm doing. To tell you the truth it's a bit creepy. I mean how did they know that I wanted a combination coconut water/energy drink? The only time I mentioned it was when my ladyfriend and I were in bed, about to drift off to sleep. The last card I got from them alluded to them being akin to Santa Claus. Remind me to sweep my house for bugs and cameras. Also, remind me to move and change my phone number. I don't want those creeps following me around anymore.

Even though they got the idea to make this drink by being a bunch of creeps, they did a good job with it. It really just tastes like a can of overly sweetened coconut water. It has a very strong coconut flavor, and a very weak energy drink flavor. It's a nice change of pace. It's also nice to have a non-carbonated energy drink. Rockstar is really going against the norm now. The downfall is that like all coconut waters it tastes its best when it is ice cold. The more the temperature of the fluid rises, the grosser it becomes. This is a fairly large can, so be prepared to either slam it, put it in the fridge for later, or deal with the gross warmness of it. Next thing I know Rockstar will read this and start making cans that keep drinks colder longer. Pray for Mojo.

Peaches are soft, weak fruits. They've got a fuzzy exterior and are a soft pink color. They're wimps. Cue wild peaches: tough guys with hard exteriors. Emotionless, these guys go into bars, dump popcorn on your head and then hit on your girlfriend. They are notorious for kicking sand at you when you are at the beach. That's the worst kind of bully right there. They do it when you, a human, are asleep. All fruit has their own life. What?! You thought they just hung out on vines and trees all day? Nope. Wrong. When you juice a peach, which is like genocide, but that's an argument all in its own, you get juice. When you juice a wild peach, you get all the piss and vinegar that comes with it in the form of energy.

Hydrive, the foremost hater of wild peaches put this little drink together because they think you would like it and they actually have the ability to bottle up their enemy. If you could, you would. The taste of success is sweet, a little diet, but definitely sharper than a regular peach drink which is as soft as a fresh pup's fur. This doesn't taste like peach too much at all so if you hate peaches like Hydrive hates their crazy relatives, you might still like this.

If those wild peaches didn't pee in the window of CEO of Hydrive's car and put all those framing bags of wild peach poop on his front porch, we wouldn't be able to enjoy this drink. He is the mastermind behind this but they're seriously jerks.

A wise man once said, “Martin Short better watch out cause here come the bees.” Well Mr. Short that bodes well for not only your character in Pure Luck, but also if you have a fear of energy drinks. Killer Buzz has updated their look and released a handful of new flavors. I was on the fence about their original two flavors, but I have come around to this new line.

What we have here is “a mongrel mix of beneficial berries.” I don't know about you but to me that sounds like they somehow found a way to splice bees, stray dogs and raspberries together and then milk them for their energy source. That is just sick and it is something that Martin Short should truly be afraid of. Flying rabid dogs with huge stingers that smell like sweet, sweet raspberries. The little blurb on the can does nothing to refute this thought either. If anything it confirms it. While the idea of these creatures is enough to turn your hair bone white, the resulting energy drink is very tasty. It tastes like a mixed berry pop with only small hints of the energy drink taste. I downed this can pretty fast before I realized it was gone. That could just be dangerous. Part of me feels like energy drinks shouldn't taste good, so that people don't abuse them. Who am I kidding people are going to do that no matter what.

As long as the company keeps them locked up I don't think we have anything to fear, but let's just hope that they are not asexual reproducers. If they do escape make sure you down a can of this as it will give you the energy you need to escape unscathed and unstung.

Jay and I fiddled with root beer in the past. We love it. We absolutely love it. We made some Mr. Root Beer root beer and it was good but it just tasted like root beer barrels. That's not bad but we like our root beer with a bit more depth and body. We're root beer snobs. There. I said it. We went one step further and made root beer by actually boiling roots, fermenting stuff, and much more. That one we messed up and it came out terribly. Something went a rye and it was disgusting. We were pumped about it, too and spent a lot of time making it and even more time anticipating drinking it.

Now I can make root beer any time I want with a couple presses of a button and a laundry detergent-like measuring system. Quality? It's better than Mr. Root Beer but not by much. It's good, though. It's not that bold but it's absolutely drinkable and pretty good nonetheless. Entry level. More "candy" than "gourmet." A stepping stone to high quality, hand crafted root beer that takes a lot more than pressing a button a bunch of times. I often want root beer, though and now I don't need to want it for very long.

While I'm not the world's biggest supporter of energy drinks (I feel like too many people abuse them to an unhealthy level) I do have a weird soft spot for them. I've found that most people take issue with the way that they taste, but I for one love it for the most part. There is something about the strange liquid candy flavor of them that excites the little kid that lives inside of me (well that sounded creepy). Many times I have been heard saying that I wish there were drinks that tasted like energy drinks, but without the actually energy. I would truly enjoy that, but such a beverage has yet to hit the market.

When I first opened this that unmistakable “energy” smell filled the air in my car. I'm starting to think that it may actually be taurine that gives these drinks their scent and taste. I took a sip and smiled. It was like someone mixed Hawaiian Punch and Red Bull. “Now this is a drink that I can get down with,” I thought to myself. After a couple more sips I decided that I had been dead wrong. This stuff gets pretty gross. The more you drink, the less it tastes like fruit punch and the more it tastes like something in a beaker in a high school science class. By the end of the bottle the fruit punch flavoring was nothing more than a memory.

It's really no surprise that this companies website no longer exists. I can't imagine they would have stayed in business for very long with drinks that taste like something you would normally call poison control if you ingested.

So let me get this straight:
1. Weed = downer
2. Energy = upper
3. Weed + Energy = upper

I've just got to get some simple mathematics out of the way before I start this review. I am not a dummy. I am aware that hemp comes from "the pot plant" but that doesn't mean that you can just put a pot leaf on the can and assume you're going to get a billion sales to stoners. Sure, it doesn't help because those people are like lemmings when it comes to that type of stuff. When I worked at Pacific Sunwear a decade ago and I worked through the Billabong to just Bong transition, I watched sales rise like never before. You know why? Idiots.

As a drink though, it's just an energy drink. I didn't know what to expect with this being an energy drink and not a tea. The hemp tea we have had have been like a decent tea strained through an old rope. This is just berry energy drink and no rope. I guess "good job" but you could easily drink someone's barf if you put energy drink on it because that taste trumps everything.

I guess that if you put a pot leaf on something you're bound to get sales so congrats to the marketing guy who stayed up all night to put that proposal together. I, for one, would like to see a day where we don't need to put weed on things that have hemp in it since, although not technically lying, it's kind of hoping people buy it to get high and we all know that's not going to happen...well...maybe not everyone.

The dragons are unhappy, my friend. You best beware. Why? Well it's because we have been shooting arrows at them when they fly above us. I don't know why they are surprised. They step on our buildings, eat our cattle, and use the townspeople as toothpicks. Not to mention they burp fire constantly so we're always putting out fires. Arrows are going light if you ask me. We should be using cannons or a Trebuchet or something but the ammunition is far too expensive to waste on dragons since it doesn't do much. Recently they have been just sitting at the edge of town and spitting on the townspeople as they leave to go outside to hunt and such. It's a real jerk move if you ask me. They're just sitting out there, literally sitting and spitting at people. It's downright disrespectful. I think I would rather fight them than have them use me as a spittoon.

Did you hear what the town wizard said, though? He said that the dragon spit actually has magical powers if you ingest it. It sounds so gross but I actually went out there, mooned a dragon, and he spit on me. I was covered head to toe. I came home and rung my clothes out into some pots so you and I could try it. Here is a glass of spit for you and a glass of spit for me. You got more in your cup because I got spit on and don't deserve to drink as much. Bottoms up, friend.

You know what? It's not bad. I really thought that it was going to be so much worse. I've been in pub fights where someone has spit on me and I've had my own spit and it's not anything that I would think of drinking in a million years. That darn wizard is usually right about this type of thing so that's why we're sitting here drinking an actual dragon's spit. You know what this tastes like? Have you had the mythical drink Mountain Dew? How about the mythical drink Red Bull? No? This guy came through town claiming he was from the future and brought us a case of both. No one really liked it but I've got to say, this is a better version of both of them mixed together. It makes both of them stomachable. The flavors of both are so intense on their own but together they kind of battle each other down to fifty percent of what they are alone. I don't know if I'd make a habit of drinking my soiled clothes every time I got to the forest to get berries, but I might get less mad. It's rumored to give us energy, too, which we could either choose to fight the dragons, a dumb idea, or run from the dragons which seems like a better idea.

What do you think? Good right? Man, how does that wizard know what he does? He probably sits in that cave-house of his and eats and drinks everything and just records the outcome of each. That sounds gross if you think that part of everything is dirt, rocks, and stuff. Crazy dude. Helpful, but a little crazy.

What are those dragons doing now? Throwing mud at the townspeople? What a bunch of jerks. Seriously. Dragons. They're the worst.

I was about to say that his is where sports drinks began, but then a quick internet search and I discovered that Lemon Lime was the original Gatorade flavor in 1965. Can you believe that this stuff has been around for so long? I wonder how different the original drink was to the ones that are readily available today.

While this may not have been the original, it certainly was the first I ever had. I used to go with my cousin to his soccer games in some strange sports complex. The concession stand there sold Gatorade and that's all I ever got. It made me feel like an athlete even though I wasn't playing. I was also probably five at the time and an idiot. I should have just been playing instead of sitting in the stands like a fool. Whatever. This is the flavor I always got, fruit punch. I'm sure this is an altered version of it, but it still tastes like slightly watered down Hawiian Punch. I'm glad that the company has gotten back off of the HFCS sweetener and gone with sucrose. The drink is way less syrupy this way.

I think as a rule no one should ever need to drink fruit punch (unless it actually is just a bunch of different fruit juices mixed together with no sweetener added), but if you find yourself craving it, I would choose this over its competitors. It's not so overpoweringly strong.

We all know the origin story of Spiderman: Peter Parker is a nerd, who does to a science exhibit about radiation where he gets bit by a radioactive spider and gains supernatural powers. Exciting, but ultimately just a story. What you may not know is that scientists have recently found spider webs in a radioactive area where no life should be able to exist. What that story doesn't tell you is that they have found the spiders in question, captured them and scientists have studied them in captivity. They came to the conclusion that a bite from one of these spiders can in fact give you super human strength and powers, and the military has been working on a way to weaponize that. In addition they have discovered that if the venom is significantly diluted it can be used to make energy drinks. These drinks give you a limited range of the abilities of a full dose for a few hours. They thought it would be a nice gift to the citizens of the United States. Having super powers, even for a limited time is a dream for most Americans. It's unfortunate that in the sea of energy drinks that has flooded the market “Spider Energy” has been virtually lost.

The strange thing about radioactive spider venom is that it has an orange flavor to it. I was actually surprised that orange juice was not an added ingredient, and that it is in fact the flavor of the venom. It's actually more of an “orange drink” flavor mixed with your everyday orange soda. It's not bad, and the flavor is certainly worth it for those wacky spider powers. They warn you that if you get bit you'll certainly “stay lit” and eventually burn out like so many test subjects before you. If you only drink this beverage the side effects only include crashing from the dizzying highs.

Woke up feeling 100%. Fed that kid I know, changed him, felt nauseous, half an hour later until now at almost three in the afternoon. Just spinning. I got enough sleep but feel like I could sleep for another five hours. Since I won't do that, I had to come up with another option. That option? Gatorade. I needed those harvested electrolytes wrangled up and put inside of my frail, crumbling frame.

Lucky for me, this wasn't some experimental flavor, but a simple, classic flavor. It tastes nothing like actual, real, physical grapes, but tastes like "faux" grapes, a taste I am more than familiar with. Look, grape pop plays a limited role in my mouth, but grape other things are more than welcome to play volleyball with my "hangy ball" any time they would like. This is an open invitation to most things grape. This was good and more importantly, safe. I will see how it works in my favor after the electrolytes, which plants do in fact crave, fight the dizzies in my head to regulate me back to where they should be. I will fully allow the fight to continue. It's a "greater good" scenario.

When you were a child, you were adventurous. You were not smart but you were curious and wide-eyed. You thought that mixing stuff was a good idea. You would experiment down all the time with orange juice and milk or lemonade and iced tea or iced tea and milk or Pepsi and Coke or milk and mouthwash. Some of them would be good but most of them would be bad but you didn't stop. You would never stop. You are a kid. You just keep going. Youth is on your side and you will forever mix. You are an amateur mixologist. You are a professional mixologist in the making.

When you were a youth, you thought that it would be a good idea to make a drink out of cereal milk. You would drink it and on very rare occasions you would put it in the fridge and save it for later thinking that it will be just as good as if you drank it immediately preceding finishing a heaping bowl of cereal. One time you had a giant bowl of Honey Comb mixed with Honey Smacks and thought that it might be good to drink. You ate the cereal after letting it marinate in the milk and then thoughtfully and carefully strained some of the extra "bits" out and kept the leftover milk in a glass and threw it in the fridge. For dinner, you sat down with your family to eat a pork chop and drink your concoction. You took one sip and you knew you had something. It was intense in its honey quantity and still had some of that cereal-ness to it. You would make this every day for a week before you eventually moved on to something else Cocoa Puff based.

Welcome to part one of a two-part candy flavored plan of attack I had for last night. Last night I DJed at Mohawk Place, as I am prone to do every other month or so. On the way there I drank this can of Liquid Ice. The company had very graciously sent us an obscene amount of it (with a card that said “More samples coming”). With Derek out west and Mike and I not drinking energy drinks all that often these things are going to last us a lifetime. So I'm driving downtown pouring liquid energy down my throat and an odd thought floated into my consciousness; I really wish this wasn't an energy drink because it tastes really good. As we've mentioned time and time again energy drinks normally taste like a bunch of chemicals and it always seems to me that the flavor should be a dead giveaway to how unhealthy they can be for you. Also, along with those chemicals is normally a candy taste of some kind. Usually it's Smarties (US not Canada). Liquid Ice has somehow found a way to avoid the gross chemical taste and slide right into the candy phase. Better than that it doesn't taste like Smarties, it tastes exactly like liquid Spree. This drink really has a great flavor, as I said. So much so that it made me with it was just a regular soda so I could drink it and not fear for the future of my heart, or for my sleep that night. Within 15 minutes I felt energized and ready to stay up late and annoy the bar's clientele with music that probably only I like. A couple hours later led to part two of my plan. You can read it here.

ps. Wouldn't liquid ice just be water? Think about it. Maybe you too can be a scientist some day.

Tea is wonderful. Tried and true, it has been perfected by some to a T. Those people did not make this tea. When I saw this tea in Derek's closet of drinks, I wanted it. I didn't tell him, but I wanted it. A nice sweet tea with cherry? I'll take it. When Derek was shedding weight for an easier move, I got this. Stoked. Today, to quench my thirst I could wait no longer.

I should have known that it wasn't going to be wonderful from the start. The first ingredients are sucrose, high fructose corn syrup, and instant tea powder. That's a slew of garbage if I've ever heard it. I enjoy sweet tea. As a matter of fact, I love it. This, friends, is not sweet tea. This is cherry juice with tea powder in it. Maybe tea powder with cherry powder in it. This is a drink. It's not classifiable, to me at least, as a tea or juice. It's just a drink. It tastes like bad instant tea mixed with bad cherry flavoring. It tastes like something you would make at home as an experiment, not like, and promptly throw out because it just didn't work like you expected it to in your head.

I understand you have a creative mind, Marburger Farm Dairy. I appreciate it. I really do. I have drunk hundreds of drinks and I have never had a cherry iced tea. After drinking this drink, I can unfortunately still say that.

32 oz of the worst energy drink ever. Instead of being on the 'cutting edge' of huge cans, they should work on making one that a normal human can enjoy. I'm so disgusted at this drink that I'm not even going to give it the courtesy of an amusing story.

Every time I looked at this bottle on my shelf I mistook the guava on the label as a banana. As we've covered before bananas are gross. They are actually the only fruit I can't hang with. Guava on the other hand is one of my favorites. If this were strawberry banana it would have been hard for me to get one sip down. Luckily that's not the case and I am sitting here wishing that the bottle were bigger. It is pure guava and strawberry juice mixed together with a little water and sugar. Honestly had they not added the sugar this would have gotten a five-bottle review, but I'll take what I can get. It's sweet, fruity and oh so tasty.

In the 25 years that I lived at home our fridge always had a jug of "blue juice" in it. Yes that's right I didn't move out of my mom's house until I was 25. Sure I could have gotten my own place much sooner, but I was on tour a lot and paying for an apartment when I was gone for a good chunk of time seemed stupid (I did pay my mom rent for the time I was in Buffalo). My living situation isn't the important aspect of this story, the “blue juice” is. That neon fluid was two packets of Kool Aid's Sharkleberry Fin (or whatever the name of that flavor was at the time) and way too much sugar. Our house was famous for this drink, and if we were ever out and my friends went to get a glass there was certainly a minor scene. This may seem like a pointless story, but it is relevant because this drink tastes like Gatorade's version of blue juice. Sure, it has a lot less sugar and that very specific Gatorade taste to it, but the base is all Sharkleberry Fin. I rarely drink Gatorade, but the flavor of this brings me back to a better time before rent and bills were an issue. A time where my friends and I had more of a claim to my family's house than my mom did. Strange times.

You're fading fast. You've had a long day at the office. You know, "the grind", and it's time you let loose. Take that tie off and put it around your head because nothing says "loose" like a tie on your head. Your boss rides you really hard but he's not here. You just relax; there aren't any co-workers in here. Go crazy. Stay out past ten. Drink some of that great looking grape punch. Gah! What happened to the punch?! Did someone spike the punch? What is this, a John Hughes film? Spiking the punch. Really? What did they spike it with? Did they spike it with an energy drink and some sort of liquor? What's happening?

Are you feeling alright? You're feeling energized? That's awesome. You've feeling like you've been alcoholized? Well that's not what you want. You wanted to have a good time and now look at you. You're in rougher shape than before you came to this non-work related party. You don't even drink and now you're a wreck. You've got to get to the bottom of this. "Who did this?" you ask, "Who dumped this stuff in the juice? My first glass was great and then subsequent glasses were less than great. Who's the wise guy?" Less than ten seconds later a kid said that he poured some Monster in there because he wanted to pump the party up. He was bored and now you're suffering the consequences. Thanks kid.

I've been fooled for the last time. First it was soursop, then white gourd and now it's green pumpkin. Let me tell you a secret I'm pretty sure they are all exactly the same thing. The sure as hell all taste exactly the same. It tastes like your drinking the milk leftover after eating a bowl of the strongest grain cereal you've ever tasted. I bet this is exactly what horse food tastes like. I had such high hopes for a pumpkin drink. You've beaten me again Taiwan.

It's only fitting that I write this while listening to a classic metal band. I chose Iron Maiden's album "Piece of Mind" as the soundtrack for this behemoth of an energy drink. Sure it doesn't look that big in that picture, but check out what it looks like next to 12 and 16 oz cans: http://instagr.am/p/geEO7/.

I can easily say this is the biggest energy drink I've ever seen. Even the snapping sound it let off when I opened the can was a little intimating. Despite the similar appearance, this isn't just a repackaging of the original Monster flavor, which is good. It tastes similar to it, but is much lighter ironically. I would probably drink this every once in a while if it weren't for the can. The size of the can is very impractical to drink, unless you just want a workout. Or perhaps as a joke gift. I wonder how many of these will make an appearance at Maryland Deathfest this year.

Let me get this straight. It's January 7th, I'm in Buffalo, NY and it's 45 degrees? Well that seems completely insane. Anyone who doesn't believe in global warming should check themselves, because it's hear and we're loving it (well until summer comes, and until ice caps melt and we all float away). To celebrate I took my old bike (my good one has a flat tire randomly) out for a ten mile ride. It wasn't too long, but when you haven't ridden in three months and it still feels pretty cold when you're riding fast and the wind is blasting you in the face. I still had a good time though. I like adventuring through random backstreets and seeing where I end up. For reference I have absolutely no sense of direction and I get lost easily, which is what makes this fun.

In order to prepare I layered up on clothes and realized it was time to give this Gatorade Prime 01 a test drive. When Mike drank one he said that it had an almost slimy texture. I couldn't agree more. "Almost slimy" is the perfect way to describe it. As your squeezing it into your mouth from the pouch it feels super slimy. Almost like quarter machine slime. Then when it's in your mouth for a second it seems just like a slightly thicker Gatorade. It's weird. I don't know why it feels like a different consistency, but it does and it's strange. The flavor of it falls pretty much dead center between regular fruit punch Gatorade and straight up Gatorade concentrate.

I was weary about drinking this, but the flavor and consistency was much better than anticipated. It also made me chock full of carbs and B vitamins.