Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

Tiny, tiny juice. Also, probably the best fruit punch I've ever had. It's just juice, no sweetener, so it's not thick and syrupy as most fruit punches are. It has your standard apple and grape juices, but the bonus of pineapple and passionfruit as well. If only all fruit juice was like this I think kids would want to drink more juice. It tastes so much better than the generic stuff they are used to.

Things that start with "Nu" followed by a noun are generally not good things. Prime example: NuMetal. It's possibly the worst form of music mankind has ever created. The late 90's were such a dark, dark time for popular music. Teen angst was at an all time high, in all the wrong ways. Ick.

NuGrape is a "Nu" product that is actually decent. It reminds me a lot of Nehi Grape Soda. It doesn't taste like a grape per say, but it doesn't taste completely chemical and harsh. Grape is a summer pop, and I would sip on this at a BBQ any day.

Justice has been served. I feed people aloe drinks all of the time and never tell them there are chunks in it. It's fun to watch the concern in their faces. To be fair the bottles are always clear, so if they took a second to look at what they were about to drink they would see the chunks of aloe. This can in a can. A solid, opaque, aluminum can. There were also no indications of the can that it had chunks in it. The concern I loved watching on the faces of other quickly sprung onto mine after the first sip. I even went so far to pour it into a glass, so I could make sure they were supposed to be there. They were. The weirdest part of the chunks is that they are mushy. It is just chunks of the fruit, not aloe if I misled you. Sitting in the juice must have started to break them down. It's a strange sensation. It's nothing like aloe or nada de coco. There are also tiny seeds in it.

Dragon Fruit is sweet and tropical, thus so is this drink. It's really good. This may be the only time I've ever thought that chunks in a drink have taken away from the quality of it. Believe me there were tons of chunk to distract me from the sweet flavor of the juice.

This has been sitting in my fridge for nearly two months. The reason being that the Ice Cream Soda flavor of Pakola was one of the worst fluids I have ever ingested. I thought someone had switched out my soda with the contents of their grandmothers perfume sprayer. Luckily this is not just passable, but it's actually decent. It reminds me a lot of the Canadian soda C-Plus. It's comparable to a less harsh Orange Crush. It doesn't have that weird thickness of an aftertaste. One thing that does concern me is that sugar is the first thing listed under ingredients. I can only assume in Pakistan that the ingredients aren't listed in the order of quantity, as it's not a semisolid.

I love that we keep coming across companies that know how to make quality iced tea. After years of complacency, drinking whatever swill they have at the gas station, I have been shown the light. I can't even drink most of the gas station garbage anymore. Most of it doesn't even taste like tea, just sugary sweetness.

True Brew knows the importance of making sure the iced tea actually tastes like tea. Which means they also know how to properly sweeten it. One sip of this and you just know they use cane sugar. It just tastes gritty, without having any real texture to it at all. The sweetness hits you first, and as it dissipates you are left with a nice bitterness from the white tea. It's just how I like my teas sweetened. The peach flavoring is fairly subtle. If someone handed you a glass and didn't tell you what flavor it was, you might not be able to guess. Knowing what it is, it's just a nice hint. This is the third tea of theirs we're reviewed, and all of them have been pretty stupendous. I'm better their entire line is just incredible.

I'm pretty sure Jimmy Buffet is involved in the production of this tea. I mean it says Margaritaville right on the label, and I can only image papers would have been served if he weren't. If I ever get sued, it better be by someone like Jimmy Buffet, someone completely random. I can't imagine this ever being served at Mr. Buffet's paradise island without someone ruining it by pouring a bunch of rum into it. Gross. I'm glad that I was able to get to it before some idiot messed it up by turning it into a cocktail. Green tea and orange is a pretty great combination. When this is ice cold it's a pretty perfect beverage. It's not insanely sweet, but sweetened enough as to not be bitter. I'd drink these in a beach bungalow all the live long days.

Often when you see something all the time and it's readily available, you take it for granted. Like that time you lived in Halloweenland for that year and you could get Boo Berry and Frankenberry whenever you wanted. Then you moved back to the United States and realized it's only available for three weeks out of the year. Total bummer. That's how I feel about Johnnie Ryan. It's made about 20 minutes away from my house and everywhere around here carries it. As a result it never jumps out at me, so I rarely drink it. I will be the first to admit that I am an idiot. It's pretty great. It falls somewhere in-between the worlds of major brand sodas and what I like to call "fancy pops." This is an above average cream soda. It's heavy on the vanilla, just the way I like it. Remember kids, just because something is made local doesn't mean that it's substandard quality. It also doesn't ensure that it's amazing. It does mean you should give it a fair chance, and hopefully you'll enjoy it.

I'm going to need seven and a half boxes of creamsicles. Could you be so kind as to open them all up and put them in that pot over there. I've got the burner on low, so we shouldn't have any problems. *Cut to five minutes later* Okay let me fish those popsicle sticks out of that sludge. Now time to add some more sugar and mix it up properly. Can you hold that funnel while I pour this into those bottles. Okay now let's put those all in the fridge and let them chill. First you cook. Then you chill.

That my friends is how Yogu Time makes this drink. It's creamy. It's orangey. It's unfortunately not as thick and yogurty as I want it to be. None of these drinks ever are. It would probably have the shelf life of a week or two if it was how I want it to be, but can't a man dream?

This soda was not nearly as sweet and syrupy as I had expected. Don't get me wrong it's still way sweet, but I expected it to be like drinking a bottle of concentrate. Like most fruit sodas Strawberry Crush takes like candy, and very little like fruit. Unfortunately I do not share the views of Bow Wow Wow. Candy is not what I want, especially in my soda. Really how did Malcolm McClaren go from putting together the Sex Pistols to Bow Wow Wow? I wonder if he wanted candy, and by candy I mean the underage singer of the band. I guarantee she would love this drink. She was a kid and she wanted candy. I say we give it to her in liquid form.

Let's take a poll. What do you think the flavor of this drink is going to be? Okay with the exception of Tommy, who insists on being a smart ass and guessed it was beef wellington flavored, every last one of you said berry or blue raspberry. Okay some of you said it was "blue" flavored, but as everyone know blue only counts as a flavor when you're talking about freezie pops. As a result your answers will be marked as blue raspberry, which for the record is what I was expecting. It's a sugary as all hell blue raspberry soda that would hurt my teeth due to it's obscene sweetness. I was very shocked when it ended up being a sugary as all hell cream soda that hurt my teeth due to its obscene sweetness.

I thought it was disgusting after my first sip. I think I believe everything is gross when it tastes completely different than I expect it to, so I pressed on. I ended up liking it. It's so candy cream soda it's ridiculous, but I could handle it in small doses. I couldn't make it through the whole 20oz bottle in one sitting, but I'll come back to it later.

This just came in over the wire: Chewing Gum Industry Single Handedly Takes Down The Mint Tea Empire. This morning officials met in an undisclosed location to discuss the state of mint iced teas. In recent years there has been a steady decline in the amount of mint in teas. It was put to a vote after hours of deliberation and the results came back unanimous that mint chewing gum is the solely responsible for this unfortunate demise. Stuart VonBrewenburg, leader of the anti-chewing gum league, was quoted as saying the following, "How can we continue to make our wonderful refreshing beverages when all our customers can say after a sip is that it tastes like they are drinking plain tea whilst chewing a stick of gum?" The most recent victim of this crime is the Numi company from Oakland, CA. Their "Moroccan Mint" line never stood a chance once the Wrigley Spearmint hit the streets back in 1911. Average citizen Kevyn Godwin from Buffalo, NY was heard to say, "It's hard to swallow when you imaging you're downing a bottle of spearmint tainted saliva."

Large Plastic Bottle and a 79¢ price tag built into the design of the label. This spells low quality. I am so down on plastic bottles. In my head they instantly make a beverage seem cheap. Glass bottles are at the top of the beverage containment food chain. Next in line is the aluminum can. Plastic bottles are way down at the bottom. Can you imagine if the Ghostbusters would have used plastic for their containment unit? Their proton packs would have been pointless, because those flimsy things would have never held the souls of the screaming undead. You know what's an even bigger bummer than plastic bottles? Finding out that everything I had read about Ghostbusters 3 was just internet rumors. At least it's still happening according to Mr. Ramis, but it's going to be a long wait.

Another thing I don't get about this drink is that it's acai passionfruit flavored, two fruits that are notably good for you, but they chose to use HFCS for their sweetener. A quick inspection of the ingredients shows that their is also no juice from either of those fruits in it as well. I think the Texas Tea company is trying to hoodwink customers into thinking their run of the mill gas station tea is good for them. I'm not falling for it. What I will fall for is that even though it may not be healthy, this tea actually tastes pretty decent. It has hints of the fruits it boasts about, without them actually being present. It's a really sweet green tea with some nice flavoring. I think I would have given it a four if it were in different packaging and a different sweetener.

The world became aware of the plight of Africa through the Leonardo DiCaprio vehicle Blood Diamond. I'm here to let everyone know about another travesty that exists on this planet. This one isn't a world away, but occurs in my own country. Every day down in Florida children are losing life and limb every day in order to harvest one of the most coveted item in the world, the blood orange. Children ages 6-10 are sent into the depths of the orange groves of the "Wang of America," bushels in hand. They climb rickety ladders, risking splinters. You would not believe the lower back pain these children will experience later in life. The sunburns? Don't get me started.

We will forgive Thomas Kemper for perpetuating these crimes against humanity for yet again creating an incredible soda. I would work out in those fields myself in order to ensure this drink stays in production. It tastes more like an Italian soda than a regular soda pop. It's nice and light and full of wonderful blood oranges. I can taste the blood of the completely fabricated victims with every sip.

Unfortunately this does not contain yogurt at all. It's basically tastes like the Aloevine Pineapple drink with milk added to it. I've had a bunch of drinks with milk in them lately, and I haven't been a huge fan. The chunks of aloe in this are no larger than pulp in orange juice. That's disappointment city. The chunks are what makes aloe drinks fun. In conclusion with is like a pulpy pineapple juice with milk. Who wants that?

Thomas Kemper without the honey, what has this world come to? I'll tell you what it's come to a diet soda that doesn't taste disgusting. It has a slight diet taste. Did you really think that the universe would allow there to be a low calorie drink that didn't have the diety taste? It's mostly grapefruit flavor with an undercurrent of other citrus flavor. It's lighter than other grapefruit pops I've had, but it's not weird and artificial tasting like other diet drinks that haunt my past.

The kids are all skipping school. Some of them borrowed their mom's SUV, while others are rocking their step dad's pick up. I seriously think that every single person in the United States between the ages of 16 and 35 knew someone who would drive their step dad's truck in high school. It's just a coming of age thing I guess. Now back to the story. Everyone piles out at the beach with their boom boxes, coolers, blankets and towels. Those who are lucky enough to be born with skin that doesn't ignite as soon as the sun touches it run off into the water immediately, the others like myself hunker down in whatever shade they can find and pull out a bottle that looks exactly like this. Everyone, and I mean every single person, whom I showed this bottle to said that it looks like a bottle of sun tan lotion. They are all totally right. I was kind of surprised when I opened it up and it didn't smell like that fake coconut sunscreen scent. Lucky for VIB, it smells like limes, and it doesn't make you want to vom if you get it in your mouth. In fact you should try to get it in your mouth, all of it. It's actually really good. It's heavy on the lime, light on the mango. I really think that more drinks need a heavy lime flavor. It's really good. It really just tastes like a lime soda, which has a slightly weird aftertaste.

This is a relaxation drink made to calm you down. It's not made as a sleep aid, but to relieve stress. You can drink it during the day without fear of passing out. You wouldn't really need it at the beach, unless you're the girl in the bikini that Johnny Pick Up Truck keeps hitting on. If that's the case watch out, if he meets you out in the waves he's totally going to "accidentally" pull down your top. What a creep. You should totally write slander about him on the stall in the girl's room when you get back to school. Better yet sneak in to the boys room and write, "for a good time call..." with his number. That will show him.

The design of this bottle is pretty darn rad. Simple, yet classy. This and my positive experience with the Key Lime Cream Soda left me with high hopes for the soda it contained. Unfortunately my hopes, dreams and aspirations were not met. This doesn't mean that it was a one-way train to Grossville, but it just wasn't in the upper echelon of colas. It's a quality soda, it's better than your average Pepsi or Coca Cola, but it just doesn't stand out very much. It doesn't have much of a bite to it. I'm assuming the label on the bottle that says "Soda with altitude" is due to the fact that it's caffeinated.

If you didn't chuckle at the name of this drink I assure you, you have no soul. It's funny. You know a little wacky word play. I give up. You were tragically born without a sense of humor.

I would have really liked this a lot more if it didn't have dairy in it. It really would have made a great juice. All of the berries really blend well together. Instead it tastes like a liquid version of those Lifesavers Creme Savers candy. Those never sat right with me. Solidified creme is just plain strange.

Holy crap! I was excited for this, but I didn't expect it to be this good. It tastes like a slightly floral sweet tea, with a little something extra. That's right there is cinnamon and orange peel in this. You cannot imagine what that can do to an already quality iced tea. You like apple cider, right? Of course you do, because you're not a Nazi, and only Nazi's hate apple cider. You know what makes cider even better, and infuriates the führer even more? Spices. Spiced apple cider is one of the greatest things that can ever grace ones taste buds. True Brew has taken that same science and logic and applied it to this tea. If you see it in a store don't buy one. Buy a case.

A couple of years ago there was all the hoopla around fasting diets/cleanses. The one that I heard the most about was the Master Cleanse. It was basically people drinking nothing but lemon juice and maple syrup for a week. Everyone I knew who did it said that it was completely horrible. They felt like hell, their skin broke out and they suffered from bouts of diahaha (which is what my one friend calls diarrhea, because she claims poop is hysterical). The Master Cleanse did not seem appealing at all. This drink is like an updated version of it. It's lemon juice, maple syrup and a few other added ingredients for vitamins and taste. They should have spent more time on the taste. The vague strawberry flavor is hidden behind a wave of lemon juice. It's kind of gross. Not even in a artificial sweetener kind of grossness, just not good.

The instructions on the bottle say to drink four of these a day for a week. That's right, four. You're not supposed to consume anything else except water and tiny amounts of fresh fruit. That's 28 bottles of this with little else to upset the flavor. I can barely get through one. I didn't but into it originally, and I'm not going to now. I say good day to you Simplifast.