Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

My earliest encounter in life with jasmine was on the skin of hippy girls and in the head shops, which they frequented. When I was in high school the hippy girls all either wore patchouli or jasmine oils. As a human being that understands how their sense of smell works, I obviously enjoyed the jasmine over the dirty hobo smell of patchouli.
I've also had two different types of jasmine in foodstuffs. The first is jasmine rice, and the second is the jasmine tea that is served in a lot of Asian restaurants. Both of these have a very specific smell, and a very light taste.
I got this soda as an Xmas gift from my girlfriend's parents. I had expected it to be a very concentrated carbonated version of the jasmine tea I've drank with many a fortune cookie. I cracked open the bottle and I expected to have my nostrils greeted with the sweet scent I am accustomed to. That did not happen. In it's stead was another earthy smell that I would except to encounter in some natural food store. It also did not taste like the jasmine I was use to. Maybe what I had experienced in the past wasn't really jasmine because one of the few ingredients in the soda is pure jasmine extract. This doesn't taste flowery at all at first, but there is a slight floral aftertaste of jasmine, but only if you really concentrate. It almost tastes fruity with a lot of sugar in the mix. It's not what I expected, and I'm a bit let down by that, but I did enjoy it. It's a strange complex flavor, one that I could see myself growing to enjoy a great deal.

The other Adina drinks that I have had were all exotic flavors. Honey lemon didn't sound all that special (okay it says aloe as well, but that's become commonplace to me). They somehow took something as simple as honey and lemon and made something pretty great out of it. They have crafted a very flavorful green tea. If you're looking for a green tea with a little kick to it that doesn't go overboard, grab yourself one of these. Really, don't let the tribal design and monkey turn you off.

This is my second go at a tamarind drink. I have to say I'm not really a fan. After a quick internet search I learned that it's used in the following; pickling, jam, worcestershire sauce, chutney and as a natural laxative. It's pretty all over the map. It's been described as a sweet and sour taste. I think it's a plant that just doesn't know what it wants to do with its life. I can't think of anything to compare it to. Unfortunately this is the first Jarritos drink that I just can't get in to.

I've consumed a lot of aloe drinks in my time. This is one of the best that I've had. It tastes fresher than most. It also has the biggest chunks of aloe that I've ever had in a drink. They are so big in fact that I would call them hunks, perhaps big hunkin' chunks. It also helps that it's the only one I've had that has actual juice in it (30% to be exact). You can really taste the grapefruit juice in it. It's also rare that a grapefruit drink actually tastes like the fruit, but Alo hit the mark. It also has Pomelo in it, which I wasn't familiar with. It turns out that it's an Asian fruit that tastes like a light grapefruit. Now I must search out a fresh Pomelo. Wish me luck in this frozen tundra.

I like these Pacific mates because they don't try to disguise the taste of the mate. They let the flavor fly, adding some subtle flavors that just give you a little hint of something different. There is no burn from the ginger at all, but you can tell that it's there. If you don't like mate then this is certainly not for you, but if you do, I highly suggest trying this entire line.

A lot of people don't like grapefruit flavored things. I personally love it. Big Ben's kept people other than myself in mind when they created this soda. Adding lemon to grapefruit is something I never considered, but it's a nice match up. The flavor comes on grapefruit and leaves on a lemon note. They don't blend together into one new flavor, but the two in a row are interesting.

We did our second video review for this strange, strange drink.
You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR0fLVmE89w&feature=404.
Here's the summary. This is made from white fungus (I assume it's a mushroom) and bird's nest (Which apparently is actually parts of a bird's nest). It tasted like cake batter. No seriously exactly like you mom was whipping up a birthday cake for you and you liked that possible salmonella infested beaters. Everyone agreed in the video that was the taste and that it wasn't that bad. When the camera was turned off, we decided to pour it into a glass. Kevyn described it as what the water looks like after you spit out a loogie while brushing your teeth. None of us could take another sip after that. It looked so much like his description that it actually made me sick to my stomach. Unfortunately seeing what it looked like ruined a potentially tasty drink. I advise drinking it straight from the can if you want to try it.

This drink had no smell at all. It also tasted like nothing, until a slight bitter seltzer water aftertaste set it. Mike's response was "who cares about this? It tastes like nothing." I certainly don't care.

It's a hot summer day, it's like ten million degrees out, and there is just sweat pouring down your face. It just so happens your stuck at your dad's work picnic. Your friend's dads have their work picnics at awesome amusement parks, where the kids just ride the ride all day. Your dad's place of employment of course rents out a section of the local park....booooooorrrrriiiiinnng. You got excited earlier because you discovered there was a giant fruit salad (that didn't have bananas in it, because they are the devil's fruit). You went to get a giant bowl full and were then told by some random secretary that it was for adults only. Confusion takes over; your parents always lectured you about eating a lot of fruit, so how could this be adult only. That goes against everything you've ever learned. You are then told that some jag-off dumped two bottled of vodka into that delicious fruit. Damn adults! Oh wait what is this? There is a watermelon that has been untainted? Yes! You grab the biggest wedge and just dive right into it, spitting seeds everywhere while the juice dribbles down your chin. This is what summer is about. Now remember that flavor, and then pour a little of your drink on the sidewalk for your fallen friend. As we all know there is a curse that has been put upon watermelon. It tastes so delicious in it's natural form. Unfortunately, no one has been able to make a proper juice. Every time someone tries it either tastes too watery, or it tastes like a watermelon Jolly Rancher (and no one wants to drink that).
Now on to the review. This really should have been called "Wild Berries & Watermelon," because it's the berry flavor that really runs this show. It's a nice blackberry taste. Unfortunately there is a little hint of that Jolly Rancher flavor sneaking around in the aftertaste. When will someone get it right?

For dinner I had a black bean burger covered in avocado and more chips and salsa than one human should ever eat in one sitting. Fifteen minutes later I find myself drinking this. Oh the glutton I can be at times.
This is a meal replacement drink. It also appears to be the healthiest thing one could ever drink. There are six different stages of ingredients listed on the box; Protein Blend, Carbohydrate Blend, Vitamin Blend, Organic Vegetable Blend, Organic Fruit Blend, and Organic Antioxidant Blend. Each category has quite a few ingredients listed underneath it as well. The back says that it was the creator's goal to make the healthiest drink in the world, and I think he just may have done it. The shocking thing about it and that it actually tastes pretty good. Actually, it's really, really good.
I had expected it to be really chalky. The meal replacement aspect of it had me expecting it to taste like a Slim Fast. I think every suburban mother drank those in the mid 90's. I also think that all of their children ended up drinking one of them. I mean who doesn't want a chocolate drink? Everyone wants them. The problem was that Slim Fast is disgusting and chalky, and no child in its right mind went back for another can. This on the other hand is pretty smooth. It does slightly dry out my mouth, which is weird. For the dozens of healthy ingredients that are jammed into this tiny package, Orgain did a great job at making it taste like nothing except for chocolate.
Now I must go lay on my bed and let the healthiness overtake me as I fall into a food coma.

I think this company bought up a surplus of purple freezie pops. They then tried to bite them open, but realized it was futile (as we all have) and then used scissors to cut off the ends so they could dump them in a giant vat. Once in the vat, they allowed the freezie pops to melt part way and then removed the ice parts that had become white. They needed this to be concentrated. They then added the only other ingredient, carbonation. Someone had the job of putting it in these plastic bottles, and then it showed up at my house.

Who knew flowers were delectable? First I find out that hibiscus is tasty, and now thanks to Bottle Green I've learned that elderflowers are gosh darn great. It tastes flowery, but not in the way that say having your older brother hold you down and spraying aunt Matilda's ancient perfume down your throat tastes. This is almost fruity and fairly sweet. If only good ole Matilda used this to cover up her old lady smell, the world would be a better place.

New Leaf, New Leaf, New Leaf, what nature of genie gave you the recipes for your wonderful drinks? There certainly must have been some enchantment involved. Even the fine folks over at Sweet Leaf have one blunder in their product line (Mint & Honey Green Tea), yet we are now ten products deep in reviews for you and all of them have received a 4/5 or higher on the bottle chart (it's a scientific thing, you wouldn't understand). This is unprecedented in the world of Thirsty Dudes.
I think their secret is that they keep things simple. There are only 5 ingredients in this bottle; water, sugar, tea, lemon juice, natural flavors (and does that even count?). This is the first half & half that I've had where the lemonade is stronger than the tea. At first I thought it was going to be too much. That first sip was so tart. As I got deeper into the bottle, things calmed down and flavors started to shine like your dad's car that he made you wash and wax after you hit a baseball through your neighbors den window. It's still really tart, but lemonade is supposed to be. It's a nice change up from the norms of "Arnold Palmer."
I have one more bottle left to review. Let's see if they can make it 11/11.

This tastes so much like a peach that it no longer tastes real. Does that even make sense? At first you think "Wow this actually tastes like fruit." Then the flavor stays around a little too long, and it starts to taste fake and chemical. Now that shouldn't happen because this is made with organic fruit juice concentrate. I don't know what is causing that to happen. I would blame the probiotics, but the other flavors I've had didn't have that taste. After another sip I put my finger on it. It tastes vaguely diet. I'm going to try to finish the rest of the bottle, but it's really not my thing at all.

This is a great middle ground for ginger beer. It's very flavorful, which is something that is missing from a lot of ginger beers. It also has enough burn as to not be a ginger ale, but at the same time said burn is not overly horrific. I admit I like a crazy burn, but it's not something I want all the time. Don't get me wrong it still has a burn that would probably make a small child cry, but I can get through a whole bottle without praying for the sweet embrace of death to end the pain in my throat.

Here we go with another one of these Cici drinks. It's basically a candied mango flavored Capri Sun that has nata de coco and jelly thrown into it. I thought the first one was kind of fun to drink, but by the time I got to this one, the novelty had worn off. I like stuff in my drinks, but the consistency of the jelly just seems wrong. I would have been fine with it just being the nata de coco. It's a drink for kids. They would love this. I bet they would be the envy of the lunchroom if they brought one of these in. They could easily trade it for a half dozen bologna sandwiches.

This is a pop that I was really excited to get. How could I not be? Leninade? Communist soda? Incredible! RealSoda.com are producing some interesting sodas. Hopefully we'll have some more to review in the near future.
I expected this to be like British sparkling lemonade. Unfortunately, like everything in communist Russia, it lacked boldness in flavor. It doesn't taste like lemonade at all. It's more of a lightly flavored lemon soda. There's nothing bad about the flavor, I just expected it to be stronger.
I'm can imagine cases upon cases of these stocked up in warehouses. The people are lined up waiting for their daily rations of soda. All the while the communist leaders are cursing the propaganda of Ayn Rand while guzzling their sodas.
This is totally worth it for the bottle alone. I will leave you with one of the many quotes from it. "Beware the repressed communist party animal who is really a proletarian in denial masquerading as a bourgeois cold war monger."

The first two flavors of Kutztown that we tried weren't that stellar. In fact they were on the badder side of the spectrum. At least they got birch beer right.
I always split up birch beer into two categories, and this falls under the "county fair" umbrella. It's super sugary and tastes like it should be a fountain soda. I feel like I should be drinking it in accompaniment with some fried dough on a hot summer night. Kids who are waiting in line to ride the camel or the elephant are just dying to get their hands on some of this sugary goodness. The carny that is goading you into trying to win an enormous stuffed animal for your girlfriend has an extra large cup of this hidden underneath the counter. He takes sips in-between spitting out the extra saliva from his Skoal Bandits. Sure it may rot out what little teeth he has left, but what does he care? He's living the dream, the carny dream. I like it, but I've never met a birch beer I didn't like.

I thought this tasted slightly different than I remembered. Apparently Looza makes mango nectar (what I had before) and mango juice drink (which is this). This isn't as thick as the one I had before. I loved how thick the nectar was. This is still pretty great. I imagine sipping a glass of it with breakfast while on vacation in some tropical location. Maybe I'd even be wearing a Hawaiian shirt and some Bermuda shorts. I like to mix up my attire names after tropical getaways. It's just something I do. Mangos are seriously one of the best fruits ever, and Looza took care not to mess up their natural wonder. I salute them for that.

I've been highly irritable the past two days. I blame it on the fact that it's the middle of a bitter cold winter, and nature tried to trick me with two days of hoodie weather before throwing me back into the frozen tundra. From the annoying activist hippy in the grocery store talking way louder than she needed to so everyone could hear how she was smarter than them because she ate so healthy (even though she looked sickly and wrecked) to friends not being able to hang out, I just haven't been in a good mood. All I wanted was to kick back and relax with a nice soda pop. When I opened the fridge all that was there was fruity pops. My annoyance level began to rise. Suddenly I remembered I had this gem stashed away in my back hall. Luckily the hall is unheated so the bottle was nice and cold.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love Sioux City. Their drinks may not be incredibly fancy, but they know how to make darn good soda. It's nice and creamy with just the right amount of vanilla. I drank it down and let the relaxation overtake me. I wish I were drinking it while sitting around a campfire with some cowboys. I need more cowboys in my life and less hippies.