Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

Without looking it up on the internet, someone tell me what percentage of American suffer from stomach/digestive issues. I'm not going to look it up but I'll throw a number out there. I'll say 72%. That's a lot of the population with problems, and those are problems that this beverage can help alleviate. This bottle is jam packed with probiotics, which are live bacteria and yeasts of the positive variety that do a bunch to make you feel better.

You grab this and think, “Oh good this is going to make my guts feel better.” Then you realize that it's an interactive drink and things are even better. You get to peel off the label from the top and then push all of the vitamins, minerals and probiotics that exist in powder form into the water waiting below. Then you shake it like a paint machine mixing up a gallon of paint that you bought to paint your fence, but it just sits there for far too long because you're procrastinating. Oh, is my real life seeping into this review? That will happen.

So this is fun, it is functional and on top of that it tastes good. I'm wary of apple cinnamon beverages that are not cider, because normally things just do not turn out the way you want them to. Karma has figured it out though. I don't know if it's because it stays in a powder form until right before you drink it, but this tastes so much like real cinnamon sprinkled onto dried apples that it's ridiculous. This is made with stevia as well as cane sugar, and I would have no idea that a zero calorie sweetener was in here if I hadn't read the label. It's mostly a light apple water with a heavy cinnamon overtone. It's great. I could see myself drinking this even if my guts didn't need the help that 72% of American need.

Summer is creeping up on us and the weather is finally starting to break. It's warm and sunny. Soon it will be downright hot and sweltering and all you will be able to think of is how you want to cool down and experience some refreshment. You will take a shower to cool down, and 30 seconds after you put fresh clothes on they will be soaked in sweat. Even your pets won't want to go anywhere near you. It will be gross and you will need relief.

We have talked in the past about how the ultimate refreshing soda is Mr. Q Cumber; a delicious sweet pop that tastes like fresh cucumbers. It's perfection in a tiny bottle. What Spindrift has done is make that soda but without any sugar and turn it into seltzer. It's just sparkling water and a little bit of cucumber juice. It may be the best seltzer I have ever tasted and that is saying a lot to dethrone Polar's vanilla. I can see myself drinking insane amounts of this over the summer and you should to so that they keep it in production. Don't let this disappear on me! I need it to make life worth living while I'm drowning in sweat.

I am not crazy about the name of this company. Purposefully misspelled words was such a 90's thing to do, and I honestly hoped that we were over it. I would expect something called Phyzix to be a Nu-Metal band and not an energy drink. They sound like they should be on a mix along with Korn, Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park.

What I am crazy about is the taste of this drink. It tastes like a pina colada with some orange juice in it (maybe a little mango as well). Usually when drinks are labeled as Tropical they are just a general amalgamation of various citrus flavors. This actually tastes like something that should be drunk at a tropical location. It's sweetened with a mixture of crystalline fructose, erythritol and stevia. The cool crispness and normally unmistakable zero calorie sweetener flavors are somehow masked by the tropical flavor and that is a very good thing.

On top of that there is no taurine in here, so it doesn't have that expected chemical energy drink taste. The energy you get from this beverage comes from a blend of guarana, green tea, cha de bugre, ginseng, l-tyrosine, maca and yerba mate. I'm pretty sure that if this was all natural they would boast about it, but I don't see anything that isn't natural in the ingredients. This is a straight up pleasant beverage to sip, and I am willing to overlook their name choice for the quality of the product.

It's been a long time old friend. When we first met I was merely 10 years old and even though I didn't understand most of the jokes, I loved all things Ghostbusters. I don't remember if I saw the movie or the cartoon first (The Real Ghostbusters, not that other garbage one) and I don't care. All I need to know if that I was hooked. I was also hooked on “juice,” and when Hi-C combined both things it was a match made in heaven. Normally my mom would pack me a Ssips juice box in my lunch, but the times I could get her to splurge it was always for Ecto Cooler. I had no idea that this was actually a rebranding of their “Citrus Cooler” flavor and I still don't care. It was delicious and it had the cartoon version of Slimer on it. What 10 year old suburban white boy wouldn't love that?

Ecto Cooler was always such a specific flavor to me that as a youngster I could never quite put my finger on. It wasn't until the company yet again rebranded the flavor as “Shoutin' Orange Tangerine“ that I slapped my forehead and felt very dumb for not placing the flavor. At the time I had outgrown such drinks and with the lack of Slimer on the packaging it held little interest to someone in their early 20s. I later learned that in 2006 it was once again rebranded as “Crazy Citrus Cooler” and a year later it was completely discontinued.

There's something about your thirties that feeds off of nostalgia. I had never grown tired of the Ghostbusters movies and still watched them at least once a year. I longed for times when life was simpler and I missed things from my childhood that were no longer available. When we started thiersty Dudes, we named our “Trifecta” of discontinued drinks that we longed for. They were Crystal Pepsi, Orbits and or course Ecto Cooler. We bought a 14 years expired bottle of Orbits and it tasted like salad dressing. The other day a mysterious package showed up at my door and inside was a cardboard Muon Trap that contained Ecto Cooler. I knew it was returning to shelves along with the release of the new movie (which is the most hated movie that no one has seen yet), but I really have no recollection of giving anyone from Hi-C my address. It was a complete surprise and it made my day wonderful.

I'm sitting here now, sitting in the warm shining sun and I'm sipping on a juice box. If this were 25 years ago I would be sitting on a skateboard with my best friends planning what we would do when school ended for the summer in a few weeks. Instead I am taking a break between printing shirts and working on my deck. I wish I could say that I was talking about the deck of my skateboard, but I mean the deck of my house. I'm an adult with responsibilities, but for a few short minutes it's 1989 again and I'm drinking a tangerine/orange drink that I believe to be juice, but which only contains 10% juice. It's mostly citrus sugar water and I don't care. It tastes exactly like I remember and that's all that matters. If this drink were a new product now, I would care very little about it, but since it's something from my childhood I'm loving it. I'm not expecting this to stick around for very long. There will be a large nostalgia burst as soon as it hits shelves and then people will remember they are adults and these are the kinds of drinks you leave behind as you grow up. Who knows though? Maybe the new movie will resonate with a younger generation and they will eat (drink) it up. I may never buy it again, but I will smile every time I see it.

This is a beverage that I feel would be sold at some ridiculous restaurant in Brooklyn. You know how they have a place that only serves cereal; this would be served at a chocolate milk bar. This would also be a top shelf item at said establishment. The well drinks would be Nestle and Milo and things of that ilk. As you moved up there would be slightly fancier drinks that were make from almond or soy milk. That top shelf though, that is reserved for only the fanciest of chocolate milks, that that is exactly what this is.

I'm glad I didn't look up what reishi was before I drank this, because “divine” or not, knowing that this was made with mushrooms would have probably tainted my experience. Not knowing I fully enjoyed it though. The base of this is coconut milk and it's even sweetened with coconut sugar. Luckily it doesn't taste toasted, and its flavor sits in the background. The chocolate taste is out of control in here. It's like someone just melted a high grade chocolate bar into the coconut milk. It's certainly more chocolate that anything else, and I could ask for nothing more. Also, no matter how much I shook this up it still had little clumps of chocolate in it. That would have kind of grossed me out normally, but when I squished them with my tongue I was reminded that this isn't some garbage chocolate they were using and all was forgiven.

Those reishi mushrooms may be in here to strengthen the immune system, improve mental clarity and relaxation as well as promote healthy liver function, but you would never know by the taste. It's just one of the best chocolate “milks” that I have ever tasted and all the benefits are just a bonus on top of the flavor.

Now what would the name of this chocolate milk bar be? Well if they were all vegan and wanted to go with a Lemonheads theme they could call it “Udderless.” That seems a bit niche though, even for a chocolate milk bar in Brooklyn. I'm sure I will think of something better before our imaginary grand opening.

Mike and I have been big supporters of College Club Soda. They are a small soda company that is located in Rochester, NY, which is about an hour away from us. They have been very kind to us in the past, including let us run the machines and bottle some pop ourselves. Surprise we didn't kill ourselves or blow up the factory. When they “upped” their game with Fiz and started using cane sugar, excitement was abound on our end. The birch beer and root beer were great, and I had the highest hopes for the cola. I thought I had nothing to fear, until I cracked this bottle open and I was face to face with what is possibly the weakest cola I have ever tasted. It just tasted like a good cola was watered down. I thought that perhaps the batch was off, but a friend confirmed that they had tried it before and that's just how it is. It's disappointing, but hopefully they will tinker with their recipe and all will be well in Western NY's soda world.

Relaxation is sweeping the nation, and I'm okay with it. We've been living in an energy drink world for the past two decades and I think everyone needs to take a break from being over-caffeinated and jittery. More and more relaxation beverages are hitting the market all the time. While some of them are meant to just make you sleepy, or come down from an energy drink rush, there are others such as Take 5 that are meant to help you relax, but still stay awake. Since I had a complete stranger tell me that I looked like one of the most tense people she's ever seen, I probably need this in my life. I don't know when or how I got so uptight and stressed, but I'm open to options that don't involve me smoking weed.

While a lot of other relaxation drinks contain things such as melatonin, valerian root, and chamomile to calm you down and make you pretty much comatose, Take 5 uses B vitamins, L-theanine, magnesium and GABA. None of that really means anything to me, but I'm sure there's science behind it.

Normally shots are very potent, but this tastes pretty watered down. That sounds negative, but it's actually a nice change from what I'm used to. I mean these aren't meant to be sipped, you're supposed to drink the whole thing in one gulp. I'd prefer that gulp to taste like watery lemon/lime juice instead of weird chemicals any day. I can't really tell if this works because waiting to see if it works is making me anxious. Oh man I surely am a mess.

This could not have shown up in my life at a better time. I've had tennis elbow for going on two months now, and somehow in the past two weeks I have messed up both my knees. I don't know what I'm doing to myself, but I'm falling apart. Now I have H2Pro to help me through it. I don't know if my elbow is finally healing, and my knee brace is working, but after a couple of days of drinking this I see to be doing a bit better. In other good news this actually tastes pretty good. It's a powder mix, but it has a strong lemon flavor and that same lemon helps fight off the stevia flavor, while still letting it sweeten it up a bit. I actually enjoy sipping this and I'm not chugging the whole thing just to get it over with. It's simple and nice tasting, while being functional. I don't know what the next trauma to befall my body will be, but hopefully this will help fix me up before whatever it is happens.

Whenever meal replacements are advertised, why is it that breakfast is always the meal that is being replaced? Are people really that busy in the morning that they can't whip something up quick, or at a minimum spend the two minutes eating a bowl of cereal? I'm kind of a mess if I don't have my oats and honey cereal in the morning, but I think that has more to do with routine than actual eating. To me breakfast is the easy meal. If I had to choose a meal that I would need a quick replacement for it would be lunch. I'm always busy with work or some project in the middle of the day and I always go for a quick option.

So yeah, Mobius is supposed to be for breakfast, but I broke the rules and had it for lunch. Now I knew there was coconut milk in this, but what I didn't know was that the coconut flavor was just about as strong as the chocolate flavor. I take that back the coconut flavor is the strongest flavor in here and it tastes like toasted coconut, which I kind of hate, so instantly this drink is not for me. It tastes like someone liquefied toasted coconut and then added cocoa powder to it, which I guess is what this is if you take out all of the other vitamins and nutrients, which there is a lot of. This has 20g of protein, it's dense in micronutrients, it had medium chain triglycerides as well as nootropics and 100mg of caffeine. I have no idea what most of that means, but I guess it means it has everything you need for a nutritious breakfast (lunch). It uses a blend of sugar and stevia to cut down on calories, and I will say that it is the way to go if you're looking for a healthier drink that doesn't taste completely diet. I also just saw that this has gelatin in it, so I consumed that when I normally don't. Thanks for that.

If you really like coconut and don't' like preparing breakfast drink this. If you're like me and dislike toasted coconut give the rest of the packets you have to a friend like Mike, who will enjoy it more.

I'm, probably in the minority with this but I find milk to be completely and utterly (udderly for those who want dads jokes) disgusting. The thought of drinking glass of milk..just ick. Luckily I can turn off my brain to it when it's in other drink, such as this delicious cold brew coffee. Sure, I would have preferred this to have almond or soy milk instead of real deal cow grossness, but when something tastes this good you overlook the bad.

The black version of this was smooth as it was, but the addition of the half & half just makes it the subject of a Rob Thomas/Santana song. The coffee itself is delicious and the small amount of added sugar would make this enjoyable to anyone out there who has even the smallest interest in coffee, and perhaps even others who have no interest.

I said it before, but it bears repeating; if this was what your standard coffee tasted like I would drink it all of the time. I would become one of those people who just aren't themselves until they get the first cup of the day in them. I would welcome that misery and dependence into my life. This is that good.

While I was drinking this I realized that I had no idea why horseshoes were considered lucky. I assumed it would just be some random tradition that got passed on, with no real meaning. I soon learned the wonderful truth; horseshoes were once used to ward off goblins, or so the story goes. Apparently in Northern Europe and the British Isles goblins ran rampant, but they were afraid of the metal weapons people used against them. Surely it must have been the use of iron that frightened them and not the sharpness of the weapons that could have removed their heads. People started hanging iron horseshoes above their doors to ward off the goblins, since it was iron and resembled the Celtic moon.

So…€¦that was a way more exciting story that I expected. I unfortunately have no iron horseshoes laying around the house so it looks like I am susceptible to a goblin attack. I can only hope that before they tear me asunder that I have time to offer them a soda. I think a couple of sips from this bottle could be just what they need to calm them down. I want to say that this is an average cola that is a little heavy on the caramel side of things, but when I think about it it's must better than store brand, and it also tastes different from Coke or Pepsi. It's undeniably a cola, but with a little twist of its own. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it tastes a little classier than our run of the mill soda, and I enjoy it. I can only hope that the goblins enjoy it as well and maybe then they can fill me in on their side of the story.

This beverage brought about a very rare thing. This is one of the few drinks that Mike and I have not agreed on. To quote a text I got from him, “Did you review this Spindrift because it's kind of gross. On paper it sounds fantastic, but it is not great in execution.” I don't know what my apparently dumb partner wanted because I think the exact opposite of that, and it tastes just like what it is; crushed blackberries in seltzer water. Perhaps his problem is the little bit of lemon juice that is added. That does throw things off just a touch, but not enough for me to not enjoy it thoroughly. It really tastes like blackberry juice in carbonated water and I don't know what else you could ask for. Do does taste a tad bit more soda pop like than seltzer because there is some sugar (1g) from the fruit, but I can't hold that against it. This is what diet pop should be like, all natural with just tiny bit of sugar to give it a little something. Forget zero calorie sweeteners. They will end up killing you. Just go for the low calorie delicious versions of things.

The most important part of this beverage is that through it I learned that there is a cucumber version out there and I need that, and I need it now.

I spent several days in Germany and all I wanted was a Fritz Kola. Unfortunately everywhere we played was out of it and I was unable to enjoy its deliciousness. When we played Zoro in Leipzig I ordered one and when I was told they were out I sadly just said give me whatever's non-alcoholic and this bottle was placed in my hand. I had no idea what it was just performed the old Euro lighter as a bottle open trick and took a swig. It was fruity and delicious, and I suppose it was good enough to make me forget about the Fritz for the time being.

The next day, when I wasn't shouting over some Chinese punk band that was playing a squat with a shirt that said “Kiss me I'm punk, I asked what it was and was told that it's a carbonated raspberry/red currant lemonade. I don't think lemonade means the same there as here, but it was a great raspberry/grape soda that wasn't overly sweet. I may not have gotten my fix, but I did discover a new treat that I will get again the next time I make it to Europe.

As I stated in my review of it, to me Club Mate is a staple German soda. It's carbonated yerba mate, and it's done right. It doesn't taste weird or off. It's probably because they use sugar and not an abundance of it.

I anticipated this being the original mixed with cola, but all I taste is the cola. I don't notice the mate at all. When I mentioned it to someone local they didn't even realize that it even had mate in it at all. It's quite a nice cola, so I have no complaints on that end, but I did want some mate. I guess it's just in there for the caffeine. Perhaps if I could read German it would all be explained to me by the label, but as I am a dumb American and cannot I will remain in the dark, and just enjoy it as the stand out cola that it is.

I've been home from Europe for four days now and my sleep schedule is no closer to getting back on track. I keep waking up sometime between 6 and 7am (normally I get up at 9) and find myself getting ridiculously sleepy at 10pm (normally 2am is bedtime). I just got out of work printing shirts all day and I'm worn out. This is not good because I have dinner plans and I'm going to see Youth Code tonight, who I have missed twice already and I'll be damned if sleep is the cause of a third whiff. Just as I'm contemplating going to pick up an energy drink the doorbell rings. It's Mr. Fed Ex and he has a perishable package for me. Inside are a bunch of pre-chilled cold brew coffees. The timing couldn't have been better.

I'd like to say that as soon as I shut the door I ripped one of these bad boys open and started my journey to Caffeine City, but packaging made that impossible. Now I appreciate the use of cardboard cartons in beverages for their lower environmental impact but I have never once in my life been able to properly open one of these things. Even in elementary school my milk carton would look like a mangled soggy mess by the time I got it open. This coffee is no different. Some cardboard stuck where it shouldn't have. Other areas just straight up ripped. It's a mess, but what it contains more than made up for it.

Mike and I have been very vocal about not being huge coffee fans. I can drink it and I understand the allure, but it's not something that I fully enjoy. This though, this is just fantastic. The flavor might be called straight, but even though it's just filtered water and cold brewed coffee, that coffee has “notes” of walnut, caramel and chocolate, or so the box tells me. This is the smoothest coffee I have ever tasted, not to mention the best tasting. I have always loved the way that ground coffee beans smell, and this is the first time I've ever tasted it brewed where the flavor matched that smell. If this is how all coffee smelled I would be an addict like most Americans. Lucky for me most coffee is a pale comparison to this, so I don't need it to function. I will definitely buy this again though when I come across it in stores.

Now let's see if this caffeine will keep me up so I can enjoy some industrial revival tonight.

As I'm driving through the Swedish countryside after two days of no sleep I have a beautiful body of water to my right all I can think of is "Why am I drinking an energy drink?"

I'm on tour in Europe with Night Birds and I just realized that I 100% was peer pressured into buying this. It looks completely ridiculous and we were all laughing. Next thing I know some Kroner coins are being pressed into my palm, and I was opening the cooler.

Lucky for me it's actually pretty good. It's a citrus Monster that leans heavily on grapefruit. It doesn't have too much of a classic energy drink flavor. Overall it has a pretty light flavor, and it's very pleasant. In addition it has that textured Monster can that I enjoy.

This is apparently from Ireland and "The Doctor" is MotorGP champion Valentine Rossi. I have no idea who that is, but I'm assuming he's a big deal over here.

Let me tell you when you haven't eaten much or slept in days these things hit you hard and fast. Good thing I'll be sitting in a van for a few hours. Thanks peer pressure.

Oh look, another Claire Baie zero calorie sparkling water. I'm beginning to think that these drinks Are going to haunt me for the rest of 2016. It's no secret that neither Mike nor I are fans of sucralose sweetened drinks. Unfortunately most of this companies beverages use just that. We know these drinks have a market and people buy and presumably enjoy them. We are just not those people.

This Orange Mango one is the best one I've had yet though. Somehow the citrus blends with the sucralose and the result tastes like kids vitamins, a flavor I'm not ashamed to say I enjoy. Who didn't eat more than their allotted quantity of Flintstone vitamins when they were little? I certainly did. The orange and mango flavors in here are actually pretty decent. It's just that dumb sucralose that brings the whole thing down for me. So yet again if you don't mind sucralose, check these things out, if you are grossed out by it steer clear. It's a simple plan.

Are you aware that the desert is a dead, dry place with no hope? Did you also know that cucumbers are the most refreshing thing this world has ever seen? If only cucumbers grew in the desert maybe life would exist. Because you know, nothing lives in the desert…€¦oh wait; a lot of things live in the desert. That doesn't mean that they wouldn't lead richer lives if cucumber was a normal part of life for them. Steaz has taken that refreshing vegetable and combined it with prickly pear (the fruit on a cactus) as well as some green tea and the results are quite nice. The prickly pear is nice and sweet, but it allows the cucumber to cut through and give you that relief you so desperately crave. The only downside to this at all is that they tried to cut down on calories by using stevia along with cane sugar. It's not horrible, but you can tell it's there, which I would prefer it wasn't. Other than that there is nothing but smooth sailing with this drink. Go ahead and drop me off in a remote desert location hundreds of miles from anywhere. As long as I had a couple cans of this I would be just fine, or dead. Fine or dead, one or the other.

To me lemon is one of the most boring flavors on this planet. A lot of the time it tastes like cleaner, but even when they don't it is rare that it makes me want to acknowledge any sort of greatness. Lemon in water is not very appetizing to me. I don't know how that even got started, but haven't people seen the reports about how dirty they are? Grozzz. The general exception to the forgetableness of lemons is when you get a great lemonade on a nice hot day. That can really hit the spot.

I have never once had a lemon soda that made me want to stand up and force others to drink it because it was delicious. My pattern has not changed with this soda. I will happily admit that it's on the better side of lemon drinks, and may be the best lemon soda I've ever tasted, but that doesn't get it very far. It tastes like it's 75% generic soda and 25% really nice lemonade. It's not the best, but I wasn't expecting the best, and It's much better than I anticipated. So well done Caruso's…€¦.I guess.

It's times like these that I curse my tastes. I can tell that this is a really good seltzer, but I really just hate the taste of toasted coconut, and unfortunately that is what this tastes like. Keep in mind it tastes like a lighter version of that, but that flavor is still there and it just ruins the whole drink for me. Based on the other flavors of Sanavi I knew this was going to be good, but I was hoping for a more coconut water flavor and not the toasted variety. I lost out, but I also know that most of the world likes that flavor and this would probably be a big hit with most people. Sanavi does flavored sparkling water right.