Coconut - 141 Reviews

Imagine spending your entire life hating coconuts and everything they flavor. For years your hatred rose to a point where if anything had even trace amounts of the fruit you wouldn't taste it for all the pineapples in Hawaii. I lived those dark days. It got to the point where I couldn't even see the humor in a coconut carved to look like a monkey. Then one day everything changed. You see I wasn't alone in my anti-coconut crusade. All three of us here at Thirsty Dudes had the same aversion. It was an unspoken bond that we would put off reviewing coconut waters for as long as we could, and with so many beverages in the world that could be a long, long time. One day a package showed up. It was full of dozens of cartons of coconut water. Even though our hatred ran strong, our duty to the website was stronger. We each took a handful of the drinks and went to our respective homes to taste the foulness in peace. I don't know about the others, but I can say that the one I drank was better than I expected, but not something I actually enjoyed. By that I mean that I was able to drink the entire bottle without wanting to throw up. We each posted reviews and we thought we were done with it. Then a magical comment appeared on one of our reviews. It instructed us that we should make sure that we drank coconut water ice cold. I thought what the hell and I gave it a try. I can't explain what a difference a few dozen degrees makes. A drink that was chalky and gross suddenly became refreshing and flavorful. I began to truly enjoy coconut water.

All of that took place about a year ago. Oh how things change. Here I sit in my home and within twelve hours of procuring this carton of coconut water I'm leaning back and enjoying it. The flavor is called “Pineapple Punch,” but since it's pineapple and coconut it really is just a pina colada. Who would have thought that I would ever like drinking pina colada? If you had handed me one in the past it would have gone directly down the drain. Now I'm sipping it from a carton, like my computer room was some kind of paradise. It tastes mostly like normal coconut water with just a hint of pineapple mixed in. Our citrus friend is kept in check, so the drink remains nice and smooth. As an added bonus vitamins from GNC added to it. I don't notice them in the flavor or texture, so that is a good thing.

Now that you are done imaging a world where you hate coconuts take a moment to imagine a world where everyone abbreviates everything and “phenom” is used as an adjective constantly. That would be a frightening place to live.

I hope you really enjoy this week's date night. You know how we've been talking about making each date night theme oriented? Well I decided to put that into action. At first I thought about having it French night, but that just seemed too obvious. I thought and thought on it, and well…€¦. Welcome to Brazil honey!

To start things off we'll be going downtown to the east side in order to try and authentically recreate the atmosphere of the favelas of Rio De Janeiro. We may have to get a later start than usual to make sure it's already completely dark out for things to feel right. I mean what would a Brazilian date night be without getting harassed and potentially robbed at knifepoint?

I know what you're thinking, where are we going to get authentic Brazilian food here in Buffalo, NY? Don't you worry I found this guy who will let us come to his house and he will cook us up some nice feijoada. He said he has 12 roommates along with 23 cats and 14 dogs, but hey the more the merrier! Oh yes, feijoada is a stew of pork, sausage and smoked meat cooked with black beans and garlic, garnished with slices of orange. I know you don't eat meat, but I figured you could make an exception in order to make date night authentic.

After dinner, assuming that we haven't been mugged and stabbed with a makeshift knife, we will catch a nice game of soccer. It will be pretty late at that point, so I found a DVD of a game from about 10 years ago. The nice fellow who will be cooking for us said we could watch it in his room. Only four other people share the room, so it should be nice and cozy. He just said to make sure the DVD is the right region. I don't know what that means, but we'll figure it out.

Oh, oh I forgot to mention that I scored a bottle of the traditional Brazilian drink acai juice mixed with coconut water. It's a match made in heaven. The negative aspects of each drink neutralize each other. It's like it's an acai juice that isn't harsh and is a little chalky tasting. It doesn't really taste like coconut water at all, well minus the slight chalkiness. I know how much you like acai juice, but can only drink a tiny glass of it. This way you can chug a nice 16 ounce glass with no issues at all.

So, what do you think? Is this going to be the best date night ever or what? What do you mean you're breaking up with me. I put so much effort into this. How could you say that it sounds like a night from hell? This is authentic Brazil here! For Brazil night you want it to be all beaches and Carnival? Well it looks like we have different versions of a good time. Hey come back here when I'm talking to you, and bring back my juice!

It's an important day. You need to be at the top of your game. You need a drink that will not only refresh you but also boost your focus, energy and stamina. There is going to be a lot of battling going on and there is a good chance things could get brutal. Lucky for you that O.N.E. has released an active line of their coconut water. It's fruity, sweet and tastes decent. You know you have a decent drink on your hand when you drink have a carton, and then you are shocked to discover that it is sweetened with stevia. Now that I know I can taste it, but I never would have guessed before I read it. Cranberry and grapefruit make a great team. Other companies should really pick them for their hypothetical touch football teams.

Now I know what you're thinking; how did the big day pan out? More importantly, what did the big day entail? Well I will tell you, the big day was going with my friend so that he could go to adopt a cat. Seems dumb right? Why would anyone need any of the skills I mentioned just to go to a car adoption center? The answer is that I have a problem with cats. I fall in love with every cat that I see and I want to bring them all home and live in a house with a million cats that will follow me around everywhere. Yes I am crazy, but I also understand the disgusting aspect of that. I don't want to smell like a million cats. We went in, hung out with a bunch of cats. I fell in love at every turn. Specifically a huge fat cat named Pauly took a firm grip of my heart. I was inches from adopting him. The lady even tried to give him to me for free. He is eight years old and has a deviated septum so he makes the worlds most hilarious noises. I stood strong though and remembered how needy my cat Manny is and how she would hate me if she had to compete for my attention more. I sadly left Pauly and about 40 other cats behind. My friend, he got an adorable little kitty with a mustache that is now named Natas (so very nearly called Patricia Aracat).

Thank you O.N.E. for helping me keep my head, and therefore keep my household down to two humans and two felines.

Hey seltzer heads! Yeah, you guys! I've got something for you. It's in the trunk of my car. Yeah, it is legal. Just because a man has a pallet filled with a random assortment of drinks in the back of his windowless van doesn't mean they fell off a truck or anything. Maybe a man just likes to spread the word about sparkling drinks once in a while. Who I am is not of any importance to you, ma'am. My license places? They fell off the van so don't worry about it.

Coconut? Yeah, I've got it. It's right here. Made by a company called La Croix. I guess they are some fancy French company or something. Michigan? Well, ma'am, sorry about shutting you up earlier. Yeah, I guess these guys here are from America. I thought we hated the French. Taste? Oh, now you all want free samples? One can. One can between the...twenty-one...twenty-two...twenty-three of you. Here. One can. No more. Good right? Coconut-y, right? Unsweetened, right? Yes? Right? How many pallets can I put you down for? One? I drove all the way out here from None Of Your Business-burg for one pallet? Fair enough. You've got me. That will be $674.99. Yeah, and ninety-nine cents. I've got to make ends meet too, lady.

Pomegranates: +1
Nectarines: -1
Coconut Water: 0

Total Score: 0

Regardless of the rather neutral score, I was somewhat enthusiastic to try it. Maybe it's because I don't ingest a lot of nectarine flavored drinks. I don't like to eat oranges, but I enjoy the orange flavor. I sped drank think before the coconut water took over. You know, the inherent chalkiness that comes with a coconut drink. You get a flavor, and it's fruity, but I personally couldn't distinguish between pomegranate and nectarine.

If I had to make a list of coconut drinks for people who don't like coconut drinks, this would be one on the list.

Ever since I went vegan and no longer could drink eggnog, I have been searching for a good vegan substitute. I have finally found it! This is seriously better than I remember regular eggnog being. The coconut milk makes this drink so creamy and thick. And it has the perfect amount of nutmeg. My holiday season just got so much better!

This could not be a more disgusting drink. I mean it. This is hardly drinkable. I took one sip and essentially signed off on the whole thing. I love aloe. This has so much chunk in it that you think that you're drinking something else. It's downright thick. Second, it's got coconut water in it which I am not the largest fan of, but I thought that since it's got fruits in there, both prefixed with "mango" ironically, it might be alright. Nope. It stood out like a sore thumb. I can taste the fruit but it's so masked by chunks and coconut that you'd be better off just not adding flavor, or more flavor. This drink is a Frankenstein of all things bad and no, I'm not using that phrase because it's a week away from Halloween.

Jamie, I will make you a strawberry milk. Please, just work on your homework and I'll make it. You've got that big science test tomorrow and have to study and do that math homework before you take a bath. I said I'd make you a strawberry milk.

Oh no. Oh no no no. Crud. Oh no. There is only enough milk for half of this strawberry milk. Crud. I've got to fill this glass or that brat kid is going to have a heart attack. What have I got in the fridge that I can put in here? Water? No, he'll know and that would be gross anyhow. Sprite? No, that would be too sweet and milk isn't carbonated. Coconut milk? Yeah, that will work. It's not transparent and actually, let me try this here, actually gives it a nice taste.

Jamie, we didn't have enough milk so I poured some coconut milk in there and before you freak out and throw the glass across the room like you did the last time, try it. I tried it before I brought it over here and it's actually pretty good. There you go. It's good right? What do you think? Yes, coconut milk. It's good right? Not too sweet and just enough of the coconut that it's not overbearing. Overbearing? It means "too much". See, you're learning science, math, and now English. See how much fun and educational hanging out with your mom can be? Nothing else. I didn't put anything else in there. It's just strawberry syrup and then half a glass of milk and half a glass of coconut milk. Yes, I can make them for you more often only if you can tell me what quarks are. You can't? Keep studying buddy.

Buffalo weather is really weird. It's less than a week until October and all of a sudden it's over 80 degrees today. Three days ago I was wearing pants and a hoodie, and still feeling a little cold. Today, I'm sweating in shorts and a t-shirt, even with an iced coffee in my hand. I'm sure some people are super stoked it's so nice today, but I want hoodie weather!

Being the "thirsty dude" that I am, I have plenty of drinks in my cupboard to battle the heat and quench my thirst. I wish I could call this a juice box, but it does not contain juice nor did it come with a straw (sadly). Its contents however make up for the lack of a straw because it's delicious. The mixture of coconut and mango is perfect, and it's definitely thirst quenching. This isn't as creamy as other coconut water's I've had, but I still really like it. It's more like a light mango juice with a smooth coconut aftertaste. Perfect for a hot day like today.

It's a hard life being a nerdy football player. What's wrong with a 6' 4", 280-pound jock who also likes to play Magic: The Gathering? I'll tell you what's wrong with it, it cost me my Gatorade endorsement. I was at the regional semi finals and I brought my Gatorade water bottle with me because I like to stay hydrated when I'm fighting Shivan Dragons and Serra Angels. Well it just so happens that the head of Gatorade saw a picture of me on http://www.gatheringmagic.com drinking from my water bottle with my Magic cards in my other hand. Next thing I know, i get this call from my agent saying they're letting me go because "they don't like my off field activities". What am I? Michael Vick? It's a collectible card game, not dog fighting.

Anyways, my agent is in talks with this company Greater Than. He gave me a few bottles to try and I really like the stuff! It has a lot more flavor than Gatorade, plus it has coconut water in it so it has a really smooth after taste. The lemon-lime is my favorite so far because it's light, refreshing, but still flavorful. Hopefully they don't look down on people who play M:TG. I'd gladly drink from a Greater Than water bottle at the next tournament.

Take a really good Gatorade flavor and mix it with coconut water and you get this drink. I'm sure the company probably hates getting compared to Gatorade, but they were on the forefront of sports drinks, and their products are what comes to mind for most people when they think about said category of drinks.

Want to know a secret? I would pick this over a Gatorade any day. First off it's tastes great. Secondly it's all-natural and it's sweetened with beet sugar and not HFCS.

We can only hope that someday sports teams will have giant coolers filled with Greater Than to dump over their coaches when they win the big game. Gatorade has run that monopoly for way too long.

In my opinion, which is an opinion of a self-appointed, semi-professional drink reviewer, I have been on the fence about Body Armor. I know what they're doing and I know what they're going for, but something in their mix hasn't played well with my palate. They've got a real "health food" approach to juice. "It can be good and good for you" and all that jazz. I appreciate that, I really do.

As I have said on multiple occasions, acai is pretty gross. It is pretty bitter and always leaves a bad aftertaste. All the time, every time. I have liked it in some cases, but there is no in between. It's either really prominently bitey or not too bad and I'm impressed and think, "Hey, maybe I do like acai." but then I get a drink like this that has it in it and I hate it again.

Since I'm playing with fake ratios and percentages like a science teacher who accidentally made his way into an algebra class but stayed there because the superintendent was in the class sitting in and he didn't want to look like a total loser, I will continue on my way. This drink is 75% good. First sip, to swish, it's good. Real nice drinkability. You get some pomegranate in there, you like it. You get some other stuff in there, whatever that is, and you like that, too. Then you swallow because you can't just drink and drink and drink and not breathe. Do you think that Body Armor wants that on their hide? Nope-ahh. Suffocation? No. They don't. I will skip right on past their PR manager on that one and answer for the company with no need for their clearance. Then, when it's done and you've swallowed, thar she blows. Acai. Crap factory.

As a whole, this is a good drink. One rotten fruit will not hold me, or this company down. I would like to let the world know, that because a fruit is labeled as a "superfruit" does not mean you need to use it in everything. You know what's delicious? Cantaloupe. Use that in more drinks.

I could write a big long story about living in the tropics and coming across this heavenly drink that quenched my thirst, but instead I'm going for the no b.s. review today.

This drink is amazing! Plain and simple. This is easily the best coconut water drink I have ever had. It's light and creamy and is full of so much flavor. Of the 4 juices in this (lemon, apple, mango, and passion fruit), the apple and mango stand out the most with hints of lemon and passion fruit in the after taste. I had a feeling this drink was going to be good since Bolthouse rarely disappoints, but I didn't know it was going to be THIS good.

I had no idea this was 10% coconut water before I opened it. Judging by the taste, you'd think they'd want to put that in the flavor name. It has a strawberry-coconut-guava taste that is really good! I don't usually enjoy banana juices, but I was looking forward to trying this due to the banana. I was hoping it was going to be delicious and make me like banana drinks. Sadly, this was not the case because I didn't taste any banana in it. Replace the banana with coconut in the name and it would more accurately describe this flavor.

Imagine you are on a sandy beach in the Caribbean. You have just gotten back from snorkeling and swimming with dolphins. Yes, you did hold on to their fins and yes you did name one "Echo". You had to, even though you hated the game because it was impossible. You also went on an excursion where you rode a zip-line from one side of a gorge to the other and at the end there were tacos and instrumental covers of Smiths songs played by an indigenous Caribbean steel drum band. You are in heaven.

As you sit on the beach and look across the crystal blue waters, a waiter comes by and offers you a drink. You don't care what it is since everything is perfect and nothing can ruin your day. You take a sip...and it's strange. You open your eyes and you've got a can of Arizona's new CocoZona drink. You have to drink it because you don't want to upset the waiter but you only kind of like coconut so every sip is difficult. You start going the other route, which is taking giant chugs to get it over with faster. It tastes like you just took a bit out of a coconut. Yes, I know you can't just do that and machetes are involved in the processing of coconuts, but if you could take a bit out of a coconut, that's what it tastes like. You turn the bottle around and notice that the only ingredient is coconut. Why did you even bother looking? You finally finish the drink as the sun sets and as you get up to go to dinner, a young child comes and punches you square in the bathroom area. Your night has been ruined.

Since our newfound appreciation for coconut water (thanks to Zico), I was excited to try this. It's weird that it's sweetened with stevia but not an diet drink. Seeing that I'm not a huge fan of fake sugar, I wasn't looking forward to that part of this energy drink.

To my surprise, this is pretty good! The coconut gives it a really creamy taste. There's a little bit of the fake sugar and energy mixture in the aftertaste, but really not that bad. The mighty coconut flavor over powers most of the gross flavor, which is great news to me! I wish I could find more coconut flavored energy drinks. I think one sweetened with real sugar would probably be incredible.

In the past six months I've gone from thinking that coconut water was worse than a cup full your gross uncle spit from his chew to becoming a fan. I still think it's completely disgusting when it's warm, but give me a nice tall ice cold glass of it and I will show you a refreshed individual.

When I saw there was a guava coconut water I knew that I needed it to continue my existence on this planet. I get that way about most things guava flavored. I'm glad I get that reaction because this is the best coconut water I have ever tasted. It could be due to the guava, or it could be that I think this is the only coconut water I've had that has a sweetener added to it. Either way it's sweet, refreshing and has a strong guava taste. I highly recommend it.

For far too long Gatorade ran the sports drink world with its syrupy fluids. Other contenders came along such as Powerade that really did not step up their game. The Vitamin Water came onto the scene. I don't know if it really counts, but I'm going to say it does. They didn't use HFCS so their drinks had a thinner consistency. Now Greater Than comes onto the scene. They are here to let the world know that sports drinks can be all natural and still be hydrating and refreshing.

To boil it down to me this is like coconut water mixed with Gatorade, but it's sweetened with beet sugar. At first it's kind of strange, but after two sips I got used to it and it was enjoyable. It really tastes like someone mixed a little classic orange Gatorade into a bottle of plain coconut water. I drank this after spending a couple of hours in my sweatbox of a print shop, and I definitely felt refreshed. I'll have to try it again after a long bike ride and see how it works.

Sitting here all day...working...but waiting...waiting all of the day. Waiting for what? Waiting for a new computer for my work. I'm anxious because it's always fun to get a new computer. Setting up everything the way you want it and removing everything you don't is what's fun. I love it. A nice, speedy new machine is fantastic. Now it's twenty to four and FedEx still hasn't gotten here even though they said they were going to be here. They'd better not be a pile of liars or I'm going to be really upset.

As I wait, this last hour I have been milking this Body Armor drink. It's not bad at all. It's got a sincere citrus flavor. I would say more orange than mango and I couldn't really taste any tea in it but since it's so many (four) flavors, they all kind of blend together. I mean that in a good way, like when you've got V8 and you're like, "There is no way that all of these vegetables taste good at the same time blended up like this." Boy, are you proven wrong every single time.

So it's been ten minutes and the computer isn't here and now I'm out of this drink. Not my day.

For as long as I hold this drink in my mouth without swallowing, it tastes exactly like I bit into a mandarin orange. I'm completely shocked with how authentic and natural it tastes, especially with the number of ingredients that are in here. As soon as you swallow the taste of the coconut water sets in. It's smooth and refreshing. This is great ice cold, but I can imagine it would taste like garbage if it were warm.

The label would have you believe that this is one of the healthiest drinks in existence. Who am I to argue? It is chock full of vitamins and minerals.