Coconut - 141 Reviews

While I was visiting our local Co-Op here in Buffalo I ran into a friend who works there. He told me they just got in some weird carbonated coconut water. Of course my response was, “Ugh, that sounds terrible. Of course I'll buy it.” As I was cashing out my mind kept reeling about how it's ridiculous the amount of things that get carbonated. How could carbonated coconut water be refreshing? I know in Europe people drink carbonated water everywhere. Seriously, they give bands carbonated water on stage. I asked for still water and I was looked at as I was out of my mind. It's not refreshing at all.

Okay, so the point of all of this was I walked outside and cracked this can open to be pleasantly surprised that it was not carbonated; it was just a clever name. You know, H2O is water, so C2O is coconut water. I feel I could have easily figured that out by reading the can, but I took my friend's word.

I feared gross bubbly coconut garbage, but what I was delivered was a quite tasty, still coconut water. The only ingredient is 100% pure coconut water, so there's really not much room for it to go astray. On a side note can we all agree that plain coconut water is much better than the flavored varieties? They always end up tasting chalky and kind of wrong.

When I was in grade school I would wake up in the morning, eat a bowl of cereal, get ready for school and then pack my lunch. It was generally a ham sandwich with mustard, a juice box and a pack fruit snacks. When that was done I would make myself a beverage while I waited for the bus, which picked me up in front of my house. I was convinced that the weirder the stuff I drank the better off I would be. I would mix every beverage in the fridge and just down it. This included adding milk to everything, which as every scientist knows leads to curdling. That is what this drink reminds me of; adding a little milk to orange juice. The flavors separate from each other and the orange juice ends up not tasting like itself anymore. This isn't as gross as that, but since the ingredients are only coconut water and orange juice, I am left wondering what happened to the orange flavor. I'm guessing when they juiced it up the peel got into the mix. It tastes bitter, and neither coconut water, nor orange juice should taste that way. I think I fared better with my prepubescent cocktail mixtures.

Some mornings you wake up and you inexplicably feel like garbage. You know, just run down and dehydrated. It's what I imagine a lesser hangover would feel like, except no alcohol was consumed. In fact, yesterday I didn't consume anything out of the ordinary, or do anything too crazy. Perhaps it's just that all the little stresses I put on my body have all collected and culminated in one day of feeling like doo doo.

To help combat this I'm taking it east and drinking some coconut water, as it's known for being a crazy hydrator. Luckily I had this carton of Cocozia on hand. It's all organic, and in fact the only ingredient is organic coconut water. There are no extraneous sweeteners added and no wacky flavors. This is 100% just pure coconut liquid. It's good, but to me there is not much difference between all of the non-sweetened coconut waters on the market, which keeps it from becoming outstanding. I would certainly drink it again, but in the increasingly competitive world of coconut water I'm afraid it would be lost in the crowd for normal consumers. I will say that it has helped me a bit in my time of need, and for that I will have some brand loyalty.

There is a battle in this bottle. It is a fierce battle like a 1993 WWF Royal Rumble. Folding chairs? Check. Eye gouging a'plenty. Why is there fighting? You've got coconut doing its chalky duty and the coffee latte doing its thing. As long as the bottle stays cold, latte wins and it's drinkable and pretty enjoyable, actually.

For a coconut drink, my well-documented not-favorite drink, I thoroughly enjoyed this. As a matter of fact, my buddy Dan and I nearly finished the whole bottle very quickly. Back and forth: a sip for me, a sip for you. We were waiting for the time where coconut reared its dominant head and started to taste like drinkable bleach. We rushed through it and it was great. You did it again, Zico. Now mix this and the chocolate and make a mocha. I want royalties on that idea. I'm serious. This review is time stamped. If you come out with it after this I have record that I came up with the idea first. Just send me a case when it comes out and we can go from there.

Welcome to Pineapple Pokopo where we make all of our food to Cokopo…€¦err coconuts. The thing is that the only things that are prevalent on our island are pineapples and sharks. Our president is very insistent on the whole coconut thing though, so he has trained sharks to go to neighboring islands and bully their residents into giving them coconuts to bring back to us here at Pineapple Pokopo!

I must say that using coconut and pineapple in everything definitely limits the food available for us. We do drink a lot of pina coladas though. Actually I'd say that 95% of the occupants of our island are drunk for most of their life. They say it is the only way they can force down the food we have, and deal with their crippling fear of sharks.

Glaceau has hired us to make them a new flavor of Vitamin Water due to our surplus of pineapples, and coconuts since the sharks have gone a little overboard with their bullying. We call it Coco-Refresh, and it is essentially a non-alcoholic pina colada that is rich in vitamins. The residents of the island actually drink them as soon as they awake to help combat the brutal hangover they invariably have until they start drinking again.

Since we do have more pineapples then coconut, regardless of the sharks being jerks, the drinks is heavier on the pineapple then the tree nut. Are coconuts really nuts, or did someone just give them a dumb name because of their hard shells? Either way the coconut that is in the beverage is more along the lines of actual coconut water and not tanning oil. I'll never understand how people can enjoy something that tastes like that. Oh well, our Vitamin Water is refreshing and tasty, like everything here at Pineapple Pokopo. Won't you come and visit?

Here is another one of those times where I just can not get down with a drink, but I give it an decent review simply because I know there are a lot of people out there who would truly enjoy it. Everything thing about this drink is organic and perfectly fine, so it would be unfair for me to give it a bad review simply because I do not like this aspect of coconuts.

If coconuts were to be portrayed as a character in the DC universe, they would be Two Face. The Harvey Dent, unscarred side of Two Face would represent coconut water. It's clean and refreshing tasting. It makes you feel good and there is hope for the fruit. I believe in Harvey Dent, or at least his side of the coconut. Then there is the other dark side of the tropical fake nut. It's the side that is toasted and burned, much like the face of this adversary. It's also the side that makes you think of the beach and tanning oil. It's something I certainly cannot get behind. I kind of wish it was thrown into Arkham once and for all.

This beverage does not taste like toasted coconuts, but it unfortunately really tastes like you're trying to catch some rays and you lick a little too far past your lips and taste your tanning oil. It actually is like someone took that oil and really sweetened it up. There is erythritol in here, so it's a cool, sweetened tanning oil. It's strange. It has the makings of some sort of candy that half the population would absolutely love and the rest of us rational people would hate.

I was just saying the other day that I was wondering what the elixir of life was. Finally, an answer to this age old question. Sure, some might think that it's water, or water infused with gold and diamonds, but they would be wrong. The true elixir of life is, apparently, a spicy, Indian inspired, coconut drink. I know; we were way off until this point.

What do I think of the elixir of life? Well, I don't think that I'm going to live that long if this is what we've got. Yes, as expected, this is a little spicy, pretty tangy, and doesn't taste that much like coconut water. All good, right? Sure if you hate the actual taste of the drink and love the delectable, rare exotic spice called salt. I'll say it, and parents cover your kids' ears; this is a salty bitch of a drink. I wanted this to taste more like Indian food and peppers and all of the ingredients on the side but instead I got something that felt like whatever reverse blood pressure medicine would taste like if you poured all your spices from your spice cabinet into a bottle of cold water.

Even with doing that, which this company did not do, you do get a little bit of goodness in every sip but I could take about half a dozen sips of this before I, aloud, questioned what I was doing drinking this. It's quasi-drinkable but you've really got to have a dead palate to get past its downfall. And let's be honest, if you can't taste anything, you should not be wasting your money on drinks like this.

Hot…€¦so hot. I hear it got up to 94 degrees in Buffalo today. I know to you folks in the southwest that is nothing; I've been in 114 degrees out there. The difference is that with the heat here the air is like soup. Integrity once said that “Humanity is the devil,” but I think a more accurate phrase would be humidity is the devil. It's the type of heat that even a cold shower can't help, because as soon as you get out you're just sweating again. Ugh. It's the kind of heat that melts the ice cream that fills your cone before you can eat it and you're left unsatisfied with sticky hands. No one wants this.

I've drank more water over the past couple of days then any human could consume if they weren't sweating it all out immediately. I'm at a point where I feel like if I had a constant stream of water going into me I would still feel dehydrated. I decided that something stronger was needed, so I've turned to coconut water. I didn't want any sugar or any added flavoring garbage, so I chose Taste Nirvana. This is simply coconut water and coconut pulp, nothing else is needed. It tastes like if I took the three hundred hours it takes to actually crack open a coconut and drank it's liquid inners. It doesn't taste like it's been sitting in this bottle for months. It's actually sweeter than other “no sugar added” coconut waters I've had before. The label says it's because of the region they harvest their coconuts from. It's pleasant. I can enjoy it. It's refreshing.

While the chunks of coconut pulp would be a nice treat on other days, they are just getting in the way of me chugging this whole bottle. I guess that is to my advantage as they are letting me enjoy this longer. I bet I'm still going to feel dehydrated fifteen minutes after this is gone.

Life is rough when you live like common people. Life is exhausting when you do whatever common people do. When you stay out all night to dance, drink and screw there's nothing else but feel like complete exhausted hungover garbage in the morning. Jarvis Cocker left that out of his little life lesson that he gave with his band Pulp.

Fear not common people of the world, there is help for you and all the rich turds who are slumming it. The answer is the wonderful Coco Cafè. It's a carton of coconut water (to rehydrate you) with a shot of espresso mixed in (to help wake you up when you have a lack of caffeine in your blood stream and a lack…€¦wait wrong English lyricist.) The results are wonderful, and to make things better they have now added chocolate to the mix to improve the flavor to even higher levels. Oh did I mention that it tastes like dark chocolate, because it does and it's wonderful. The drink is a bit bitter because of everything involved, but that doesn't detract from it; it simply makes it seem more adult. Too bad a lot of adults are morons.

I myself am not a common person, nor am I a pretender in such matters. I don't need this drink for the reasons stated above, but I still enjoy the hell out of it.

It's a beautiful day out, so you decide to lay out in the back yard, while listening to a little Air Supply and get your self a tan. Oops, you almost forgot two crucial items before you walked out the door; your tanning oil and a nice refreshing glass of pomegranate juice. As you sit down in your weird plastic tube lawn chair that has existed since the same year you bought that Air Supply cassette, you start lathering up. It's been so rainy and cloudy lately that you haven't been able to work on your tan as much as you wanted. You were so excited that you didn't even notice that a huge glob of your coconut scented tanning oil fell right into your cool refreshing beverage.

There you go. Now you have a vivid image of what my ladyfriend told me this drink tasted like. I can't argue with her. I had high hopes for this, but unfortunately the coconut in here falls too close to the toasted coconut taste that I despise, which leaves it tasting like your at the beach and you licked your lips after the tanning oil you slathered on your face dripped down a bit. I really wanted this to taste more like classic coconut water, but it wasn't meant to be. At least it has a great tasting pomegranate base.

I've spent the past few weeks trouncing around the Amazon collecting green tea. Sure, I could buy it in a store, or even grow it myself in some sort of green house, but if you ask me it never tastes quite right unless it's procured directly from the source. The thing is that well…€¦I'm sort of lost. Well, let me rephrase that, I was lost, but then I found the river and I have been following it back to the village I will be flying out of. Yancy, my top hat wearing llama, seems to be in good spirits and appears to have no qualms with carrying all the tea I've picked. I know from landmarks that we have about a days walk back to the village, so this whole fiasco hasn't been too big of a deal. My only real problem is that I am running low on the coconut water I brought with me for hydration. Sure, I have plenty of water, but I've become accustomed to the refreshment I can only achieve from the essence of the coconut.

I've come up with a solution. I am going to ration the coconut water I have and cut it with some green tea. It might not be the same, but at least I'll get a little quenching without being tempted to just down the rest of my rations. I am weak willed like that. Okay I have the mixture in two bottles now. One I shall drink post haste and the other I will save for the morning. Oh wow, this is ridiculously good. I feel like I'm still getting that special hydration from the coconut, but it mostly has the flavor of the green tea. I mean you can still taste the coconut water in there, but it's the tea that really shines. I really did put in just enough sugar. It was kind of a lot, but it really works well. I really can't believe how well this worked! I'm going to do this all the time now, it just means I have less coconut water to bring on my excursions, and that will make Yancy quite pleased. You know what? Screw tomorrow, I'm going to drink the other bottle now, and plod through the night.

The Buddha meditates under trees for long periods of time. He always starts the morning in the shade, but as the sun rises the sun ends up blaring on him and it gets hot, very hot. Let's face it he's also a big guy, so he sweats a lot. The Buddha knows it's important to keep hydrated, so he always keeps a cooler of coconut water with him, so he doesn't dry out and shrivel up.

He prefers to drink straight up coconut water with nothing added to it, but sometimes when he's not meditating into nothingness/everything he wants a little more and goes for some with a little mango juice in it. There's not a whole ton of juice added to it, but it's enough to give it a little flavor. The problem is the company he's sponsored by also adds some sugar to it. The Buddha knows it's unnecessary, but they don't put too much in, so it's not like it's sugar water masquerading as coconut water. It's simply mildly sweetened, lightly flavored coconut water that is a little chalky, but that's what you get with all decent coconut waters. It refreshes him like only coconut water and enlightenment can.

This is one of those rare times where I give a beverage that I did not enjoy a great rating. I couldn't get through more than a few sips of this tea, but that is my problem, not Harney & Sons. If I were a person whose taste buds were in love with coconut (the meat of the fruit, not the water/milk), I would be all over this. It's sad that it turns out I don't have the palate for the stuff. This is a high quality green tea with a little vanilla and even less ginger added to it. Had that been the end of it, I would drink this all the live long day, but there is that previously mentioned coconut in there that just turns me off. The thing is if you are someone who does enjoy that sort of tropical delight, this is probably one of the best teas you could find on the market.

There are a bunch of teas on the market that claim to be lightly sweetened, and that just means it's what should be a normal amount of sugar added, instead of the insane amounts that most tea companies use. Harney & Sons make no such claim, but this tea is the definition of lightly sweetened in my world. There is a little cane sugar and a little honey in here, but it only equals 5g of sugar. It's enough to combat the bitterness of the green tea, but not enough so that it's completely nonexistent. This is a tea that you could drink obscene amounts of and not feel terrible for having done so.

It should also be noted that even though I don't like the coconut I'm powering through this, because everything else in it just tastes that good.

There are times when we here at Thirsty Dudes get a lot of different flavors of the same product. At first we get really excited, and have fun with the reviews. Obviously we drink the flavors we are the most excited about early on, which leaves us with the flavors we couldn't care less about, or those that we actually fear drinking. These tend to be our shorter reviews that are straight forward and boring to write and to read.

This is the last bottle of Spartos that I have left. I'm not sure if the other guys have any other flavors to review, but this depletes my stock. I was not looking forward to this at all. While I like natural coconut water, when the flavor is mixed into other drinks it usually spells bad news for me. Add to that some zero calorie sweetener and whey protein and to me, that is a disaster waiting to happen.

It's nice to be wrong sometimes. This ended up being my favorite of the Spartos line. The strawberry and the whey protein mixed together nicely like a fancy dessert. Well, it's not as sweet as all that, but the stevia does do a nice job without tasting too off. You can tell it's there, but it's not running the show. That's all strawberries and cream. If I didn't know it was in here, I would never even think there was coconut in here, but as a child I learned that knowing is half the bottle, and I can taste it a bit. Luckily it's like a nice faint coconut water, and not some toasted garbage.

With this I bid you adieu Spartos. Maybe I'll see you again someday if you expand your line. I wish you the best, as you've made a handful of protein drinks that are interesting, and not chalky as all hell.

The stories and teachings have it all wrong. The tree that Gautama sat under that led him to become the Buddha was not a Bodhi tree as it was taught. In fact, the fat man was sitting under a coconut tree when he reached enlightenment. It's a good thing too, since reaching enlightenment can be truly dehydrating. Lucky for him the most hydrating beverage in the world hung directly over his head. So there you go: from enlightened to shaking a tree and dodging the fruits that descended towards his head within a couple of moments.

Several thousand years have passed since the glorious event and a company called Thirsty Buddha has arisen for a grand celebration in liquid form. All that is contained in this can is 100% all natural coconut water. There are no added sweeteners or preservatives, simply because they are not needed. This is delicious and refreshing; everything the Buddha needed on the day of his enlightenment. There are a lot of companies out there nowadays selling their versions of this "holy" drink, but most of them add extraneous ingredients that take away from the purity of what they create. They made mistakes, Thirsty Buddha did not.

To further offend the followers of Buddhism I shall leave you with the following perversion of faith an pop culture. Imagine the chorus of Destiny's Child's hit single Bootylicious with the lyrics changed to, "I don't think you're ready for this belly, cause his body's too Buddhalicious for ya babe."

I have to bone to pick with the world, the universe, humanity, etc. For 30 some odd years I wandered through life thinking that I hated all things coconut and no one tried to tell me otherwise. You see all I had been exposed to was that toasted garbage that goes on desserts, which is some of the worse tasting trash that has ever graced my tongue. I never knew there was another side of coconut, a fresh side. Finally, for the sake of this website, I drank some coconut water. It wasn't bad at all. It wasn't my favorite thing in the world, but it was a whole new beast compared to what I was used to. I would occasionally drink them, and the world was an okay place to be. Then this bottle of coconut water showed up at my door looking for a stomach to call its own. For a week I ignored it, but today I was feeling a bit sluggish, so I gave it a go. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT THIS EXISTED?!?!?!?!

This is pure glory. It is 100% natural coconut water and juice. There are no concentrates involved. This essentially tastes like a giant ripped open a coconut with its giant strength, then it squeezed the hell out of a pineapple to extract its juice into the open coconut. Finally it took it easy and squeezed a little bit of lime juice in it. For that giant, that would probably be less than a shot of liquid, but for me it's perfect. It tastes ridiculously fresh like you wouldn't believe. It's a taste that I didn't know existed in the world. So I thank you dear giant and I say screw off to the rest of the world for not letting me know that such a delicious beverage could exist.

I know. I am drinking out of a coconut. How can someone brand this as a product to call their own? It's literally a coconut with a drill hole in the top and scoring from what appears to be a band saw or something. There is a cool little tool to open up the top to drink out of that comes with a knife that (might) allow you to cut the coconut open when you're done drinking the water.

This is pure coconut water. Nothing less, nothing more; like the Killwhitneydead record. If you live somewhere that you can't get a coconut, you know, like everywhere except Hawaii, then if you can find this, you can find the warm shores of the ocean right in your mouth without all the hassle of climbing a tree, hatcheting down a coconut, climbing down a tree, cracking the coconut on a rock or something. I'm not a huge fan of coconut water but this is it in it's purest form and I cannot deny it what it is. This is what all coconut water should at least taste like.

I might try to cut this thing open and eat some of the meat inside. You know, for fun. It's called "meat," right? I think it is. Coconut. I would die on an island if this is all I had. I suppose I would just deal with it after a while but I don't know how long I could just drink this. I don't think I would fight an animal for it. Do animals drink coconuts? I think if an animal saw me eating this, I would delightfully hand it over, as I hardly wanted it in the first place.

What's the perfect drink while you're holed up in your house during a snowstorm? If you said hot chocolate you are wrong. Today my vote goes for this iced tea. It's already warm inside my house so I needed something cool and refreshing that reminds me that spring is only a couple months away.

I'm pretty sure this is my first green tea/coconut half and half and I really hope it's not my last. It's really good and crisp and refreshing and probably a bunch of other positive adjectives.

You know how I like my coconut drinks? When they don't taste like coconut. {pause for laughter} I like coconut just fine in small amounts shaven atop an iced cream but in drinks, unless they are ice friggin' cold, as far away as possible. They're typically just dusty, chalky messes of liquid that should have never been made in the first place. Yeah, I know it's harsh but I don't give a rip. Drink like a normal person and tell me you haven't had to refrigerate a drink to refresh it or just flat out thrown it in the filth can. Come on. Be honest. I don't care. I've dumped plenty of drinks because of those reasons. Sure, I drink more than the normal person, but in ratio, aren't we all the same?

This drink held on to its decency for longer than most. It had an "orange drink" taste more than an actual fruit but it wasn't a bad taste. The entire time it did taste like coconut but they don't make coconut drinks to completely disguise the core flavor. That's just stupid. It was almost like you watered down juice with some coconut water. Neither flavors are bold and in your face but rather subtle and, dare I say, nice.

Coconut, you're getting better. I now have the power to go into the blistering cold and get my little buddy from day care. Without you, I might have just left him there to fend for himself in the snow to take the bus home and be a friggin' man. You're almost two. Get a job and take the bus.

I woke up feeling like complete garbage today. It was strange though, as I didn't feel sick at all. My head felt fine. I wasn't stuffy, or have any sort of cold. My body just felt like it had gotten the ever-loving crap beat out of it last night. That way I felt is what I imagine having a hangover is like, well minus the headache. I didn't do anything crazy last night. I just hung out with some people at a friend's house and drank a single can of ginger beer. I didn't eat any junk food or anything. I have no idea what brought on the fake hell my body didn't really go through, but I was paying for it. I remembered that some of my friends drink coconut water to help them rehydrate and work through their real hangovers so I decided to give it a try.

This is only the second flavor of Vita Coco we have reviewed, and “That is shocking!” The other one was the first coconut water we reviewed, and I didn't realize that it had to be drunken ice cold. I gave it an absolutely terrible review. I really need to go back and re-review that. I didn't know how to drink it properly and my distaste was my fault, not the drinks. While I'm still not an enormous fan of coconut water, I don't mind them at all now. This one I find particularly enjoyable. It's just coconut water, passion fruit and pineapple puree. 2/3 of the ingredients in this bottle are some of my favorite flavors in the world, so it's got that going for it. It is still primarily coconut water though. The fruit are there only as light splashes of flavor. They do not overpower or ruin the integrity of the beverage.

I downed this carton. I laid down for about 45 minutes and when I got up I felt pretty close to normal. I guess I really was dehydrated. I wonder what in the world caused that. I now know that coconut water is the cure for those sorts of ailments though.