Energy Drink - 555 Reviews

Dear Energy Drink World,
I know your secret, your big, dark secret about your lineage that you don't want the world to find out about. You know what, I'm going to tell the world, and expose you for what you are. I know who the father of energy drinks is. He was once a boy who found a golden ticket that granted him and his conman grandfather access to the world's greatest candy factory. Once they were inside they tricked the kind, gentle owner/operator of the factory into signing the deed for everything over to them.

At first it was business as usual, making all of the candy the factory always produced, but in secret that boy who was quickly becoming a man performed savage experiments with the candy and added chemicals to them for various results. It wasn't until the original owner of the candy factory passed on that the boy who was now a devious man unleashed his new creations upon the world under various names so it couldn't be traced back to him and his lucrative candy business. He took the world by storm with what he called energy drinks.

You see when he was young he realized that sugar candy made kids go bonkers so he decided to up the ante and add taurine, caffeine and various other ingredients to make a beverage that would be the same to adults, but with greater effects. He started various companies, each of which used a different candy base for the energy chemicals to be added to. They all had similar but unique flavors.

One such company was Icon. For this formula he added the usual suspects of energy infused ingredients to a base that was made primarily of blue raspberry sweet tarts, heavy on the blue aspect of it. The result was very similar to his other companies, but it had a slightly different candy flavor to it, that actually stood out more than was expected. It was essentially a blue raspberry version of his flagship energy company, Red Bull.

Now you see the world knows your secrets, but I fear I am too late. Your drinks have been embraced by society and they consume and enjoy them to such an extent that they won't even care that you bastardized a wholesome candy company. It look like you win this time Charles.

Children of the 80's please enter the collective unconscious and conjure the image of Mr. Yuck. His disgusted looking face was once the sign to children of the United States that whatever was contained inside was most certainly poison and would more than likely kill you instantly, so you know…€¦stay away from it.

Like most energy shits, I am completely surprised when Senior Yuck isn't staring up at me from the label artwork. The harshness of this concentrated, fake fruit flavored, sucralose laden shot sure tastes like it should kill me on contact with my bloodstream, but that's the way the game is when you're dealing with energy shots. They are a beverage that are not meant to be ingested for their taste, simply for their long lasting effects. I can assure you that the effects certainly do what they claim, so at least it has that going for it.

NOS has decided to delve into the world of sports drinks. If you weren't careful, this could easily be mistaken for a bottle of Gatorade or Powerade or Genericade. They all have what plants crave, but this one also has caffeine. I like that companies started to include the amount of caffeine on the label because I can see this bottle has the equivalent of a couple 12oz cups of coffee.

But you didn't come here to learn how to prank your friends who love sports drinks but are sensitive to caffeine. You came here to find out what this tastes like. Well, the flavor description is pretty accurate in this case. It's like a fruit salad that no one would ever make, but is surprisingly not that bad. It's not as refreshing/thirst quenching as normal/non-caffeinated sports drinks though. It tastes like a lot of non-carbonated energy drinks we've had. So in that respect, this really would be a mean prank to pull on someone.

Update:
Hawiian Ola has updated their formula a bit by adding some pineapple juice in to the mix and it makes a world of a difference. Say “So long” to the harsh bitterness and cuddle up with some tropical fruit flavors. It's a shot, but I would have no problem drinking a full glass of this, well minus the dumb amount of energy I would receive with no outlet for it. Even though I'm sure it's not in any way true I will choose to believe that Mike's review of the original formulation, which can be read below, was directly responsible for the update. We have that kind of pull here at Thirsty Dudes, right?

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Jeez Louise. I have drunk some strong drinks in my day but this might push some unlucky contender out of the top five. Note to the weak tongued, this is one bitter drink. It's like a concentrate of yerba mate and green tea but tastes between a really bitter tea and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, an old coffee taste.

After a while when your amazement and tears subside, you get a little bit of a concentrated fruit taste. There is nothing you want in this drink but because it's a shot, it's like they just want to make it easier for you to get everything you need. I think if you took this tiny bottle and poured it into a proper pint glass and just filled it with water, this might be a pretty good drink. Alone it's pretty gnarly. Not bad, just overpowering of all good things.

To those who say "You can't have too much of a good thing." should drink this and will presumably say, "You know what? Fruit is good but they could have cut back a little bit. These good things were properly too much'd."

Purple stuff. We've all seen the Sunny D commercial so you all know what I'm talking about when I say that. Purple drink is a little more kind to say, as it is drinkable. This energy drink reminds me of purple drink. It has a purple/grape taste that is hard to mistake. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's just nothing to write home about. As far as energy drinks as a whole go, this is definitely in the top 50 percentile.

I still think I would like it more if there was a cartoon bee on the can. But sadly it probably wouldn't be the bee that is in my head with a Rambo headband/armbands, bulging muscles, wounds, etc... Now that I'm typing this out, it sounds like a horrible idea. Don't listen to my can design suggestions Killer Buzz.

Children, come and join me. Sit around ye old fountain soda machine as I tell you a tale of woe and wonder. It all began last week when I received a note adhesed to my front door. Now this was no ordinary note, it was instructing me to head to my local postal office after 8am the following day in order to pick up a package. I was intrigued as I had no idea what could possibly be in said box. I assumed it was drinks, but what kind of magic elixir would it contain? Images of teas and fancy sodas danced the tango in my head all night long. It was quite a vision.

The next afternoon after completing my days work on the farm (printing shirts in the basement) I hopped upon my steed (behind the wheel of my car) and headed to my destiny. Upon arrival the building was void of customers and I made quick work of making my way to a clerk. I handed her the note that was on my door and she gave me a strange look as she asked for identification. Having left my official Thirsty Dudes badge back at the home front I presented her with my drivers license, which had an old address on it. Since the addresses did not match I was given a difficult time. I assured her that the package was for me. I showed her how the names matched, and I presented a health insurance card with the correct address listed. That is when the questions started: What was in the box? Why was it so heavy? Did I know there were shipping regulations? I told her that I had no idea what was in the box, and did an embarrassing explanation of what this site was all about. Explaining to an annoyed woman who is entering her twilight that you run a website that reviews non-alcoholic beverages makes you look like a bit of a maniac.

After a longer time than I would like to admit of trying to convince the clerk that I was who I said I was, that the package was for me and that I was not 100% sure what was in the package, the box was brought out from the back. It was completely covered in orange tape and as it was laid before me I noticed that its place of origin was Amsterdam. I know understood all of the hesitation and questioning; this woman thought I was getting marijuana shipped to me. Without thinking about it I let out a big “Oooohhhhhhh, you thought this was weed. I assure you it is not,” as if my word was all she needed, because you know drug dealers/buyers never lie.

I quickly took my leave of the post office made my way to my car and tore into the packaging with my pocketknife. Inside the box were not packages of Europe's finest “dank nugs,” instead it was filled with cans of Cannabis Energy Drink. I sat. I laughed. I pondered what I would do if there was in fact weed in the box. I then drove home, took some pictures and put a couple of cans in the fridge for later consumption.

Let me tell you boys and girls, it took me longer than I expected to actually drink a can. I had no reason to be up all night until yesterday. I popped a top, took a swig and said goodbye to a good night's sleep. I had expected my mouth to be filled with a fluid that tasted like iced tea filtered through rope; heavy on the rope with a touch of lemon, as that is what other hemp drinks I have had tasted like. Unfortunately, I got no rope. What I did get was a beverage that tasted very similar to the fruity generic classic energy drink flavor (is Red Bull). It's a flavor that I have come to love, so it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, I just hoped for something more from Cannabis, as it had such potential. There is hemp seed extract in the beverage, but it's not very apparent in the taste, not that I really know what it tastes like, but all I get is Red Bull, so I don't think there's really much there.

I will tell you that even though I tried to sleep more, I only got about 3 hours of sleep the night I drank this, so the energy aspect of it surely works, and my body hates them for how well it actually did. Now children I hope you don't have nightmares from this tale, but if you come and see me I will give you lighters and shirts that were also in the box from the Netherlands.

Normally I don't really like reviewing mix drinks, because I feel like I'm going to do something wrong and it won't taste the same as if it came out of a bottle or can. I usually leave them to Mike and Derek to review. When Gamma Labs sent us these samples, they send along a little mixer container to make sure you use the proper amount of water and whatnot, so I thought I'd give it a try. First thing I have to say is that it has one hell of a lemon lime flavor. It's so strong that I had to double check to make sure that I had in fact added enough water. It's strong, but it's a good lemon lime. It burns a little to drink it, but not as much as say a melted freezie pop would burn. I kept waiting for the gross diet flavor of sucralose to come through, but it never quite surfaces. It just hides underneath the waves of lemon and lime, until all of the flavor just mellows out in the aftertaste.

Overall I have to say that this is way better than I expected. The flavor is much stronger than most powder drinks, and it gets away without tasting overly diet, or like an energy drink. I have a very long night ahead of me, so here's to hoping this actually works.

You know I'm feening for some blue ice. I've got to go to the gym and daddy needs a little extra juice. I'm working on my deltoids or "delts" as I like to call them, and can't do it without a little extra "help" if you know what I mean. You know...the blue stuff? Yeah, it tastes like really sweet blue raspberry Kool Ade but there is stuff in there, man. Whatever is in there gets me going and allows me to pump more iron than I could if I was going in on just regular energy.

Diet? No, man. I carboload. I eat three plates of spaghetti a day. Fat? No, man. This is all muscle. Four hundred and twenty three pounds of muscle. Oh, you are asking if it tastes diet. No. Not really. It's surprising because of the sucralose but no, it's not really diet tasting.

I'm a self described gym rat and they know me. They know me coming in, pounding protein shakes, and eating spaghetti out of a Tupperware container to keep my delicate shape in check. I'm sorry. I have to cut this interview short. I've got some ten pound free weights in my sights that I am going to lift to a light burn and then have some ravioli that I have stashed behind the spinning bikes.

Every time this happens I am always shocked. You crack open an energy drink, take a big sip and are taken aback when it is not carbonated. Yes I know that the can says, “non carbonated” at the bottom, but I'm a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy. I like to try my drinks with only a cursory glance at the packaging, so there are no preconceived notions about the experience.

This is a sugar free, zero calorie energy drink and for being that it's pretty good. The diet taste isn't very strong. It's a fruit punch that is slightly on the tropical side of the line, but it's also on the lighter side of most fruit punch. It's like Hawaiian Punch with some pineapple and other tropical fruits thrown into the mix, but not nearly as thick consistency wise. It's a nice change of pace from the regular energy drink crowd, something that I might look into again.

"A Drink For The Tired Athlete" might not be the greatest line, Jim. I know we at NOS pride ourselves on cool packaging and potent energy drinks but the term "tired" is kind of insulting, don't you think? Yes, this is our first foray into the world of hydration but this isn't our first tagline and that one isn't going to push a lot of product. Jim, come on. Look, this isn't our finest drink, I know, but we aren't the type of company to phone it in. We can't be lazy, especially since there are other players already in the market. Let's take a look at what we've got here before we move any further.

We've got an energy drink. We've already proven ourselves a big fish in that market. Let's just move on. We've got a hydration drink. Yes, it's like Gatorade and Powerade but we're mixing other stuff in so it's different. Those other guys don't have caffeine in there and we do so we are going to stand out. The fruit punch flavor is really hard, or so I hear from the flavor scientists at the lab. They did an alright job with this. Right when you take a sip you get a good fruit punch flavor. That lasts about a second. What's strange is that when it sits on your tongue for any longer it starts to get more and more stingy. I don't know where that's coming from to be honest. Neither does the lab. You think they would since they carefully added each ingredient.

You know what, Jim? The more I think about it; maybe it's the lab guys that are the issue. It's easy not to release a bad item into the marketplace. You just don't do it. These guys said it was alright and pushed it out and it's not bad but it's got a certain "really diet energy drink" taste to it. It tastes like a really diet version of two otherwise fine things. That diet branch might have just allowed me to go on a purge of my own because I'm about to trim the fat all over this place, Jim. Get out of my office! I've got some firing to do!

I just had a four-day escape to the woods. My friend Kevyn and I rented a cabin in the mountains and had a glorious long weekend of hiking, kayaking and heading to beaver dams at dusk to watch them work on their dams. It was exactly what I needed to just decompress. At one point we took a trip into town to get a couple of provisions and I saw this bottle of Bing. I had had the cherry version before, but blackberry was totally new to me. I was in the market for some juice, and I thought this would do just fine. It wasn't until after I started drinking it and started reading the packaging did I realize that it was actually a natural energy drink. It took me reading it to realize it was an energy drink, as it tasted nothing like one. I believe that is because it doesn't have taurine or any other chemicals in it to give you a boost. It's all B vitamins, caffeine, ginko biloba and ginseng. It really just tastes like sparkling juice.

Okay, to be fair the sugar in it makes it taste more like a soda than sparkling juice, even though there are only 8g of sugar in this can. It's a mixture of blackberry and cherry juice, and each sip is heavier on one over the other. It's a crapshoot for which one you're gonna get, but both are great, so it doesn't matter.

Unfortunately they felt the need to add sucralose right at the end of the ingredient list. Even though there is such low amounts you can still taste it a bit, and it distracts you from the flavor. Other than that this is great, and if you want a natural energy drink this is the way to go.

As far as energy drinks go, this is good. As far as drinks go, this isn't fantastic. I don't really taste actual grape and I get a whole gallon of hurt. This drink hurts to drink. It tastes like I was drinking juice with needles in it. It felt prickely. What makes drinks sharp like this? Is it the sweetener? Is it something else? It's almost the same sting as you get when you drink Lipton Brisk. Oh, old Hug drinks. Those suckers stung.

Flavor town was fine. It's generically fruity more than it is explicitly grape. It's not offensive like when people stare at you because you've got tattoos or piercings. It's just not...quite...grape. Yes, I will hold it against them because they said it tasted like grape and it doesn't. Don't lie to me, cage fighters. You can beat me up fair and square but you can't feed me this and tell me it's grape. You should also know that I took many years of Tae Kwon Do so you might get hit by my delicate fist once or twice before you give me a bitchin' roundhouse.

I had been seeking this energy shot out for a while but it kept eluding me. Or I would find it when I didn't want an energy shot or didn't have money on me. This went on for months until I had to go to a family function on barely any sleep. My grandparents were being awarded by the city of Tonawanda for doing awesome stuff for the youth (they helped build a skate park among other things). Knowing that I was going to have to talk to family and friends of the family, I wanted to be semi-coherent so I stopped by a drug store to wake myself up. Not wanting to carry around an open can of Monster (seriously, more energy drinks need to come in resealable bottles), I went to the front counter where they keep the energy shots so 14 year old kids don't steal them all. Low and behold, the pink lemonade shot was there!

Now in the past, energy shots are usually borderline undrinkable. This was not the case at all this time. It tasted like pink lemonade should. Sweet, a little sour, and overall delicious. My only complaint was I only got a couple sips of the taste. They should water it down and make a larger drink out of this because it would be awesome and I would drink it much more than I should.

Okay class, let's get the giggling out of the way. Yes, this drink is called Bawls, but you are in seventh grade, and you should be mature enough to be able to handle this lecture as well as the one on V-Blast that I have planned for this afternoon. It's 2013, you all lost your virginity at 11 right? Ugh, that's a gross thought. Kids, the internet is ruining your childhoods. Go outside. Explore. Cause some mischief. If you do those things you'll have a much happier life. Don't be in such a hurry to be an adult. Look at your parents and your friend's parents; do any of them look happy? Of course not, being an adult sucks. Responsibilities suck. Stay a kid, the things you have to worry about are nothing compared to what you'll have to deal with when you're older.

Okay back to the lesson. In the beginning there was Jolt. It was cola with excessive amounts of caffeine in it, so that kids like you could stay up late, sneak out and cause trouble. It was something, but it was nothing compared to the Red Bull craze of the 2000s. In between the two Bawls rose to modest fame. It was/is an energy drink that is powered by guarana and caffeine. More important than what the drink was is the fact that it came in these rad glass bottles with little nubs on them. They feel interesting in your hand, and it's just fun. Eventually they expanded their line. One of the flavors they expanded with was cherry.

Most guarana flavored sodas have a bubble gum style flavor like kola champagne. Luckily with Bawls that is not the case. The flavor is there a hint, but it's not overly sweet and overpowering. This tastes like someone made a Shirley Temple with an the original Bawls instead of ginger ale. It has a more maraschino cherry flavor than a cherry soda flavor. The result of it all is that it is wonderful and will give you a little energy boost without all of the weird chemicals that most modern energy drinks have in them.

There's the bell. I will see you all after lunch when we will continue our history of beverages section of the curriculum.

I don't know what it's like to not be able to live without coffee. I always attribute it to an addiction. I suppose it's not hard to not be addicted to coffee when you don't particularly enjoy coffee. Saying that is like saying, "Yeah, I could be addicted to crystal meth but I don't like crystal meth so I don't do it." This isn't something even a coffee fiend could get addicted to, though. I don't know a lot about coffee but I feel that this is a bit too acidic and too sweet for even the most budding of coffee addicts. It is sweet and it is smooth and it doesn't taste like an energy drink which, insultingly so, is the mark for a good energy drink. It's a tad diet tasting due to the sucrose but it's not terrible. It does have a lingering sub-par coffee taste which isn't too offensive.

Honestly though, I don't know if this is technically an energy drink or a coffee drink. Isn't coffee an energy drink in itself? This could be the two mixed together for all I know and who needs coffee, and energy drink, and an energy drink? You need to calm down, buddy. Get some sleep. You need sleep more than you need energy. You might also need some water. Cleanse your body a little bit. Now that I'm looking at you, you could stand to get some exercise, too. I know, it's mean, but we're friends, right? I'm being honest.

It has recently come to my attention that through all the gallons of beverage that I have drank throughout my 34 years I have never once had a NOS energy drink. I've drunk far more energy drinks than I am comfortable admitting, but for some reason I have never reached for one of these. Perhaps it's because far too much of my time during my 20's was spent with friends who cared far too much (in my opinion at the time) about cars. We're talking about “pimping” and sooping up cars for cars shows and the like. Because of the boredom I underwent I became disinterested in all things car related. Now that I am older I say, whatever makes you happy, do it, but back them I was a surly bastard about it.

Anyways here I stand at my inaugural tasting, and of course it's not even for their flagship product, but a new line that they are promoting called Active. This line is basically an energy drink/sports drink hybrid. Due to the bottle and the fact that both are distributed by Coca Cola, I have it in my mind that this is NOS mixed with Powerade. I have no idea if that is true, but that is the way it looks and that is the way it tastes.

What we have here is very light lemonade with a little bit of raspberry flavor to it with a whole lot of electrolytes thrown in the mix. Oh, and a whole lot of sodium, which is normal for sports drinks. You don't taste the energy drink aspect of this at all. The only foreign flavor I can really taste is the artificial sweetener sucralose. Overall this isn't all that bad. It's not a flavor that I generally go for, but I know there is definitely a lot of people out there that would.

This is a beverage made for when you work out. My question is when are you supposed to drink it though? If you drink it before you work out you get the benefit of the caffeine, taurine and the like, but the electrolytes are wasted. If you drink it after, the opposite is true. I suppose you could drink it during your work out, but I feel like you'd only get half the benefits from each side. I chose to drink it before hand, in hopes that somehow the electrolytes are set on a time release. We can only hope.

Am I the only one who feels like non-carbonated energy drinks don't work? Even thought I know they have the exact same energy giving ingredients, the absence of thousands of tiny bubbles tricks my brain into thinking that I will not be awake for much longer. Well brain, learn to work properly because I can assure you this does provide the burst of energy that it sells you on. It's been awhile since I have physically been able to feel an energy drink, and I'm sure my nearly empty stomach played a supporting role in that.

Monster hit the nail on the head when they decided to mix their energy formula with tea and lemonade. They use a nice mixture of brewed black and green tea, instead of some garbage powder. That mixed with the pink lemonade it tastes wonderfully like summer and it does a great job of masking the typical energy drink flavor. It also 95% hides the taste of the sucralose used to sweeten this. This is decent tasting lemonade that has only 6g of sugar in the entire can. That's some kind of magic right there. By the way what is in pink lemonade that makes it pink? Online tells me it's just dye, but it taste different to me.

On top of this tasting great and giving you a healthy dose of hopped up energy it also has coconut water and a bunch of antioxidant rich fruits to help you recover from a rough night of some crazy scavenger hunt that you were more than likely on. I mean that's how everyone spends their weeknights, right? Oh, and the secret to winning is to find the name of the baby gorilla buried in the pet cemetery, and get that can of Mello Yellow, no matter what.

The Fast and the Furious 6 comes out next week. It would seem appropriate to save this can and review it alongside of the movie, but I don't think they would be so keen on that idea. I could probably wait until an engine revs in the opening credits and time my can opening to that moment so no one would notice. It would probably enhance my experience of watching it.

But let's not kid ourselves, the series is a guilty pleasure of mine and I'm already really excited to see it. Those who know me might be really shocked for my love of a tricked out car racing movie franchise because I have never had my driver's license. I like taking the bus/ riding my bike and have never had to urge/need to drive. As for my love of the Fast and Furious movies, I look at them the same way I do the Die Hard series: they are really fun to watch.

Now for the drink at hand, it's good but not worthy to be featured next to a fancy car that costs more than I will make in 5 years (Mike is the car guy, I don't know the names/makes/models of cars). It's on the better end of diet energy drinks, but it doesn't have much character to it. It's like the racer that crashes first in each movie; they have a prominent role in the movie but are very forgettable.

This morning Mike and I had a meeting at the local Coke bottling facility. Our new friends there told us about what they do and about the new products coming out. Once that concluded we were taken on a tour of the warehouse/bottling section. Everything was normal and on the up and up until we came to a make shift boxing ring tucked away in a back corner. When we questioned its existence, our tour guide gave us a sly smile and tossed us a can of this new Monster Baller's Blend. He said it was a way to promote the new SKU inside the company. Every week the warehouse employees downed a can of this fruit punch flavored energy drink and had it out in the ring to see who would take the upcoming weekend shifts.

We were in luck because the week's fights were just about to start. We sat there as approximately two dozen employees cracked open a case of Punch Energy and used their keys to pop holes in them and shotgunned the hell out of those cans. Mike and I watched on as we sipped our can. It was surprisingly good. We were actually taken aback by how decent it was. When we think of a fruit punch energy drink the only image in my mind was an overly sweet cheap tasting syrupy mess. Luckily the liquid inside has a nice fruit punch flavor that doesn't seem too childish. I believe that was due to the fact that it's sweetened with sugar, so it's not too syrupy and the slight general energy drink flavor gave it a more adult taste.

We only had time to watch the first couple fights, but let me tell you those warehouse guys were no joke. This was an all out bare-knuckle brawl, with a bunch of grown men who were all sorts of amped up on energy punch. The second forklift operator lost at least one tooth that I saw. I guess when you're weekend is at risk and the weather finally getting nice out, you're gonna do what you have to do for some time in the sun. The invited Mike and I to go a few rounds against each other for the titled of Duke of the Dudes of Thirst, but we politely declined. There were tacos in our future and we didn't want to take a chance of ruining that with bloody lips and black eyes. Instead we downed the last few sips of our tasty beverages, said our goodbyes and made our way out into the wild world of taquerias.


As you may have guess by that last line, none of this is actually true, except that we did have a tour/meeting and we drank this surprisingly good beverage. There are no real taquerias in Buffalo, and that is the shame of our city.

Hell hath no fury like my scorn for gross energy drinks. If this were someone's first energy drink, I wouldn't blame them for never wanting to try another one again. This is hard to stomach. I don't know if it's the un-original "energy drink" taste that is as bland/gross as the packaging of this can, or the sucralose that is burning an ulcer into my stomach. I have a deadline on Monday and am trying to get ahead so I don't have much to do this weekend. Despite my stomach telling me to stop, I keep drinking this. And you know what? It's not getting any better.

I just took another sip; yup it's still nearly undrinkable.