Juice - 935 Reviews

This is the shot version of the mix that Mike reviewed a while ago. I had anticipated this being harsh and intense, the way most shot drinks are and because the fruits that it is composed of can taste that way in their natural state. I was happily surprised that it actually went down very smooth. It has a little bit of a children's vitamins taste to it, but in real life fruit way. It's all natural and you can tell by the taste. All of the grit at the bottom of the bottle also lets you know that it's natural. Anything artificial would be in trouble with the FDA for having that kind of residue.

We do a lot of complaining here on Thirsty Dudes about false advertising. There are a good number of companies out there that are trying to pull a fast one on the consumers. Salad Power does not fall into that category. From their name to the statement that is 2.75 servings of vegetables per carton they are dead on. The only ingredients in this Tetra Pak are water, carrot, mango, kale, spinach, tomato, celery, green bell pepper and cucumber (oh and ascorbic acid). It is quite literally a drinkable salad. A commercial for this product could be someone painstakingly putting together a salad so that it looks visually appealing and just when it's perfect they dump it into a juicer. They would then smile as they are walking out the door drinking it with a straw. It's salad on the go people.

I like this and I don't like it at the same time. The concept of it is great, but the problem for me is there are things I eat around in a salad (namely tomato and celery). With this drink I can't do that and it kind of ruins an otherwise enjoyable juice for me. Let's be fair though, I am the weirdo in this aspect of my life and most people have no problem with those ingredients. The mango adds a nice sweetness to the liquid salad and makes it like some fancy salad from a nicer restaurant. I don't even know if that is true, as I rarely if ever go to anywhere except my 4 staples at home. I want to love this. I should love this. You will probably love this. Get healthy. Drink your vegetables. Next time can we just forgo the celery and switch the tomatoes out for beets?

Craft beer has been all the rage for a few years now, and I am ever so pleased that the soda game is moving in that direction. The older I get, the harder it is for me to drink an entire can/bottle of regular soda. I blame the corn syrup, but it's really just the general sweetness. I've grown into an old man who prefers seltzer water over pop in most instances. It's a strange world I'm in and I don't think I like it. I actually don't like much these days. It just happens that this soda is one of the few things that has brought me enjoyment recently. I was on a trip to Canada and I stopped in a grocery store, not expecting to find much and came across a slew of Just Craft Soda flavors. I think each and every one caught my eyes, but there was no way that I could say no to an apple and ginger soda. It was 90+ degrees out and as soon as I walked out into that sweltering heat I popped the cap off of this bottle and melted into a puddle of delicious soda.

I'm shocked that ginger isn't listed in the ingredients list because from the taste I would have assumed it was one of the main ingredients. I can only assume it falls under the natural flavours (note the spelling). The only other things listed are fruit juice, carbonated water and cane sugar. It's a simple soda with a big taste. Whenever ginger and apple are mixed it makes me think of the Autumn, which is a great time of year, but saddens me because it's a reminder that summer is winding down. While I can do without this heat wave I have done a lot of summer activities this year and the thought of an approaching winter is enough to make someone want to give up and move to warmer climates. No matter what the season though I would be thoroughly enjoying this soda. This is like someone's parents cut up an apple for their lunch and sprinkled a little lemon juice on it to avoid browning and also decided to get fancy and grate a little ginger on it. Man this imaginary kid has the most thoughtful parents. All I got in my lunch was a peanut butter sandwich and some gummy fruits. They totally win, especially because I never got the white Shark Bite.

"More mushrooms!" screamed Tony. Tony loved mushrooms. He loved all sorts. Chanterelles, Morel, Portobello, Shiitake, Oyster. It didn't matter. Tony had space in his basement dedicated to just mushroom growing. He would eat them as much long as he could get his hands on them.

One day a box came in the mail. It was a box of assorted juices. What made it special is that it was derived from a mushroom. He took one sip and knew it was the drink for him. It didn't taste like mushroom but it did taste like a nice, fruity puree. Sure he would have liked it to just taste like mushrooms but knowing that it came from mushrooms was good enough. It tasted like a dark, sweet berry but was thicker than a regular juice.

He contacted the company, graciously thanked them and hung up the phone and went back into the basement to make a mushroom salad with a side of mushroom dressing. Yeah, Tony was a strange dude but a really healthy dude.

I'm here to admit to you all that I have a problem with Bing beverages. I absolutely love them, and I drink them far too often. It started with them being on sale, and me justifying buying them by telling myself that it's not as crazy as most energy drinks, it's just juice with vitamins, caffeine and ginseng. Next thing I know I'm downing them every other day. I don't like relying on caffeine. It's one of the reasons I avoid coffee for the most part. I don't think I'm quite there yet, but I'm well on my way. My go to drinks are the blackberry and the raspberry ones. When I saw a new apple flavor I knew I had to grab one.

I love apples. I love apple juice. I love apple cider. Something happens when you add sugar and carbonate apple juice that candies it in a weird way that I am not a huge fan of. I'm sure you all know what artificial sour apple flavoring tastes like, and this is halfway between that and a real apple. It's not horrible, but something about it is a little off to me. I know tons of people who would love this, but it's just not for me. It's sweet and that middle ground apple taste overshadows the cherry juice a bit too much. If this were my first time going out with Bing I probably would not ask them out on a second date. As it stands I'll probably either be seeing Blackberry of Raz in the morning.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I will be the first to admit that beet juice isn't for everyone. It has a very early taste that borders on it tasting like there was still soil on the beet before it was juiced. It's also a thick, quasi-pulpy drink and that turns a lot of people off. I for one am a fan. I've never had a beet juice that did not taste natural and healthy. I like an earthy taste in my beverage. It makes it feel more real, as if you got it directly from a farm. If you have a problem with beets, then what on Earth are you doing with a beverage called Beet Performer? You're obviously not going to like it, especially since it only has two ingredients; beetroot juice and passion fruit juice. I know, you're probably thinking that the passionfruit will overpower the beet flavor, but you are wrong. This is 80% beet. 20% passionfruit, as far as flavor goes. A majority of that is just the sweetness from the passionfruit anyway. I'm a big fan of this. It's simple, it tastes exactly like it should, and on top of that it's good for you. Beers are high in nitrates which aid in the delivery of oxygen to muscles and they also aid in cardiovascular wellness. Embrace the beet and the beet will embrace you.

If American Pickers has taught me anything, it's the re-definition of "farm fresh." Farm fresh traditionally is associated with food and things like eggs that you get right out of that chicken and milk right out of that cow. For Mike and Frank, "farm fresh" means rusty, dusty and dirty. Sure, it's both right from the farm, but one you would eat and the other you would need a tetanus shot.

Mike and Frank would like this, though. Not only is it self-proclaimed "farm fresh" but, more importantly, it's really good. It's just the right amount of sweetness and I think that although grapefruit overpowers cranberry, they share the stage enough that both their name can be on the bill. Also, there are only four ingredients and you can guess them without me having to name it and that says a lot. They sent this to us but I bet it's not too cheap seeing is that they are using real flavor and no preservatives or flavors or pasteurization. All natural.

I would actually like a count on the amount of tetanus shots Mike and Frank have gotten. Anyone who can get me that number gets a internet-wide congratulations.

This is my favorite of the Purps line. It is an energy drink that doesn't taste like a typical energy drink because it doesn't have all of the chemical garbage in it. Sure it doesn't give you an unnatural rush, but at least you don't feel like you are being poisoned while you drink it. Instead of taurine and other artificial garbage the energy boost in this can comes from yerba mate, green tea, guarana and panax ginseng root. It's all vitamins and caffeine that is found naturally. If that wasn't enough to sell you the taste is great as well. It is a carbonated yerba mate tea with mangosteen, maqui berry, blueberry, grape, blackberry and acai berry mixed in. It tastes dark and heavy like the purple hue of all of those fruits. At first sip it tastes a bit weird, but once you become acclimated to it, you just want to keep drinking it, even when the can is empty. At least that was my experience with it. It's been an off day and this beverage is helping me work my way through the haze.

Oh man, I really feel like a fool. I'm supposed to bring these five watermelons to a party, and my car won't start. It's close enough to ride my bike, but there's no way I could carry all of these melons. Sure I could probably do one, possibly even two, but five? No way. Wait, I know, my roommate just got a juicer. I'll mash these things down into a functional size and I'm sure it will be ridiculously refreshing and the hit of the party. I can carry two gallon jugs, no problem.

Wow, this juicer is great, that took maybe five minutes. Sure It would take me about 20 to clean the juicer, but I'm sure no one will think I'm a bad roommate if I just left it dripping on the counter (here's a secret, I would be a terrible person if I did that). This made way less juice than I expected. Five melons gave me less than one gallon. Oh well, at least it will be easy to carry on my bike. I should round it out with this white grape juice and pomegranate juice just to make it a full gallon. I should also taste it to make sure it's okay. Wow, adding those juices didn't really do much flavor-wise. This tastes exactly like concentrated down watermelon, and it even has a little bit of texture to it. It's way less watery than I had expected. I guess those other juices did add a sweetness to this, that is borderline harsh, but this is going to blow everyone's mind at the party. This is the perfect drink for sitting in the blazing sun with people that you don't really want to talk to, but feel obligated to. I think I reinvented summer.

There is a phrase in my industry that is awful called "it is what it is." It's basically a way of saying, "It sucks but we're fine with it." This, though. This truly and sadly "is what it is."

This is pickle juice. This is only pickle juice. This is exclusively pickle juice. I don't know what I expected. I thought that it might be...different. It's not. It's just pickle juice. What did I give it such an average rating? Well because I love pickles. I don't know if this brine would make a high quality pickle. I've been living with an increasingly pregnant girlfriend who has been stereotypically craving pickles which I'm more than cool with. I mean, they're a wonderful food that you can do wonders with. This seems like it would make pretty average pickles. Hence, an average rating.

There have been scientific studies that have shown that pickle juice helps with muscle cramping, so this at least serves a purpose. I expect to see all of those pro athletes out there downing pickle juice instead of Gatorade. Just imagine how the coach would smell after the team dumped a cooler of pickle juice on him when they won the big game. I hope someone brings plain chips to go along with it.

Yo man, I really need your help. I took...some stuff...and need to detox. I didn't take a lot but my boss is making me take a pee test and I'm afraid they're going to find it in my system and I'm going to get canned. Do you have anything like cranberry juice or something? You do have cranberry juice? That's awesome.

Oh wow. This is great. It's totally different than Ocean Spray. It's a lot of a lighter taste. I don't know if it's more water or less sugar but it's not. It's not so intense. Sometimes I cut my Ocean Spray with water because it's really strong. This is great as is, though.

Can I be honest with you, man? I didn't really do drugs. When you went into the bathroom, I went into your fridge and saw that you had the cranberry juice and didn't know if you would have just given it to me if I had asked. Yeah, I don't mind if you take that phone call.

Who was on the phone? Your boss? On a Saturday? What did he want? Oh, he's having drug tests on Monday and you took some stuff? What? I drank your last cranberry juice? Welp, I think I hear my mom calling me. I've got to go.

The older my son gets, the more I understand why people hide vegetables in food. I could give this to him all day and he would never guess that there are carrots and stuff in here. Is that right? I don't know. He eats some vegetables. Not all vegetables but some. This he would love. This I like. It's tangy like a natural fruit would be. The vegetables don't even rear their ugly head at all.

The fact that I bought this from Big Lots for thirty-three cents makes me wonder if it's still something that V8 sells anymore. It would be one of those things you don't know exists until it's too late. Like me with Bad Brains. I hate myself for waiting until I was in my thirties to hear Banned In D.C.

The people at Mansi are very proud of their beverage, and they should be because it is tastier than I ever could have envisioned. They are also very adamant that we try it three different ways; cold and refreshing, warm like tea, and with your favorite liquor of choice. They have mentioned it numerous times. It's to the extent that I think they have to trick someone into doing these three things in order to break a curse that is on their business. Or maybe it will cause a portal to open up so that they can return to their home world. Or maybe it's like a Beetlejuice type of scenario. I really have no idea, and since neither Mike nor I drink alcohol it looks like we'll never find out. Sorry to let you down Mansi folks. I hope it doesn't make life to painful for you.

Ice Cold:
This is a perfect summer drink in its chilled state. It most closely resembles lemonade made with a slightly different citrus fruit, well because that is exactly what it is. It's made of water, calamansi juice (a fruit that has been described as a mixture of a mandarin orange and kumquats), cane sugar and honey. It's simple. It's easy. It's delicious. It tastes exactly like what it is, a superior “lemonade.” Take note kids if you sold this I would actually stop by your dumb little stands and buy you out of your product. Then you can go and blow all of your profits on candy or whatever it is you're trying to save up for.

Warm:
I have to first off say that it is strange to drink a hot beverage in 90 degree weather, but you do what you must do in the name of progress and beverage reviews. My first reaction is that I should really be drinking this in the autumn. It would fit in perfectly with hot apple cider. All of the similarities to lemonade are out the window once its temperature increases. It tastes almost like an intense citrus tea, but I might only be thinking that because tea is really the only hot beverage I drink on any sort of regular basis. It's a different beast warmed up. It's still enjoyable, but I don't think I could drink an entire carton hot. I also can't drink more than a couple of sips of hot cider either, so if you're into that sort of thing you'd probably like this.

With Liquor:
Sorry again that we couldn't break your curse.

What a fancy drink this is. Everything is unpronounceable which means science. One of this drink's primary ingredient is mushrooms. Mushrooms! You would think that it tastes like an old shoe or something but you would be wrong. You would be dead wrong. Additionally, there are carrots and beets which would make it taste like the canning area in your grandma's basement.

This is surprisingly good. It's sweet enough from the apple juice and lemon juice concentrate that you can get away with some sneaky vegetables. You can trick me all you want if this is the outcome.

This tastes like there are some sneaky ingredients but somehow knowing what they are make it better. You're drinking mushrooms, dude and you like it. You are drinking something they put on pizza and having the time of your life. You should be shaking their hands in wonderment. Scientists and wizards. Same thing, right?

Normally when you get a flavored tea the ratio is along the lines of 85% tea 15% fruit flavor. That is unless it's some artificial garbage, then the ratio can be all over the place. This beverage is closer to an Arnold Palmer 50/50 split. It tastes like it's equal parts juice to tea. It's not what I'm used to, but it's pretty great. To be fair this is far from a sweet tea. In my world that is a very specific way of preparing iced tea. This is actually not abusively sweet. It's not overly tart, but it's not the cavity promoting wonderful swill that is sweet tea. Also, they actually use somewhat fancy tea in this as well. It's a blend of Orange Pekoe and Pekoe Cut Black Tea. That's higher up the tea chain than the normal every day black that is generally used in sweet tea. In summation it's not really sweet tea, and it's more juice than most teas, but neither of those are necessarily bad things and this is great.

Well, this is certainly beet juice. It is a frightening shade of red. Like blood red. There is citric acid in there which I'm assuming just keeps it from spoiling. There is also B12. That's it. Simplistic. This tastes like a one-dimensional V8. It's vegetables, man. It could be better with a pinch of salt but that would not be healthy anymore. It's not bad. It just feels a bit boring. "Healthy for healthy sake." This is probably wildly amazing for you and I might feel like a million dollars. I also feared for my life that some of it would touch my clothes as I drank it and opened it and looked at it because if it touched anything, trust me, it would be embedded for life like that time you accidentally walked in on your dad naked and you can't get his dangles out of your mind.

I just hope my poop looks awesome later.

Happy birthday to me. Well, actually since I'm over 21 and this is not a decade birthday for me it really is meaningless, but let's pretend it does for the sake of this review. You see this beverage is my birthday cake. I didn't have a real one, because you're 36th birthday doesn't mean a goddamn thing, so I'll substitute a carrot cake smoothie in for a physical solid cake.

This is more intense than any real cake that would be served to me anyway. This beverage is basically what would happen if you made a vegan carrot cake, and took out all of the gluten elements of it. What you have left is a very thick concoction of carrots, banana (luckily it was invisible in the flavor), cinnamon, ginger and almond milk. It tastes exactly like carrot cake with double the amount of normal spices. The ginger and cinnamon in here are really intense. I'm not kidding it's to an extent that it's a challenge to drink the whole bottle, but it's the kind of challenge that I like…€¦okay I'm about 2/3 through the bottle and it's getting hard to keep going with drinking this. It tastes exactly like it should, but man those spices are intense. This smoothie certainly isn't for everyone, but if you love this specific type of spice and carrot cake is a passion of yours, by all means dive right in. I'm sitting here powering on, just regretting that I didn't put a candle on this thing and blow it out like a dumb idiot.

Because I am a (self-proclaimed) scientist and I need to know how things work, I watched a video on juicing cranberries. I had thought there would be some process to this, but really people just dump the whole cranberry into a juicer. The important thing that I learned from watching this video is that very little juice comes from these little guys. In fact, it took over ½ pound of cranberries and oranges to create the juice that is in this 12oz bottle and it still has water added to it. That equals a lot of storage space for produce for a company making more than small batches of juice. I also imagine that they have some insanely large industrial juicer that could rip the water out of just about anything. You could juice a pine tree with the juicer I have envisioned in my mind. Pine juice anyone?

After all of that nonsense, this is a simple, delicious juice. It's just cranberries, oranges, sugar and water. Now the bottle says that it's naturally sweetened, so I had assumed that the sweetness of the fruit is what provided this. The ingredient list tells a different story of added sugar, which was a little bit of a disappointment until I thought about how tart this would be without it, as there is not much sugar in cranberries. It ends up only have in 18g of sugar anyway and it's not overly sweet at all. It tastes like fresh squeezed orange juice with a splash of cranberry in it. It's a perfect juice to accompany your breakfast.

Today Mike and I went on the Buffalo Eats podcast (Eat it Up) for the third time. As per usual we laughed a lot and talked very little about actual drinks. We decided to drink this “on the air” because we thought it would be disgusting and our reactions would make for good fake radio. This is a switchel, which for those of you not in the know is a drink made with vinegar. Yeah that's right, that disgusting alleged foodstuff, vinegar. It also has maple syrup, ginger and blueberry juice in it, but how could those ingredients possibly compete again the vileness that is vinegar, a product of rotting?

We popped the top right into the mic and the air was instantly filled with the scent of coloring Easter eggs. Ugh. We poured a glass for each of us and down the hatch it was. Shockingly it wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. It tasted like someone made blueberry maple water in a glass that had previously held vinegar, but hadn't been washed properly. I can't believe I wasn't punched in the face by the grossness. There was a bit of a ginger taste in the tail end, but the vinegar was there more in scent and thought instead of actual taste. If the smell wasn't there I might not had noticed it at all.

I'm aware that vinegar is very healthy for you, but it's not enough for me to drink it, and I won't be revisiting this again. If your taste buds happen to be broken and you like things such as vinegar, cilantro and various other disgusting things, well then chug away my friend.

Oh what a treat. Look, hate fast food all you want. I didn't eat Wendy's for years due to a food poisoning issue which made me hallucinate. Bad sour cream man, don't mess with that at all. Old dairy? Leave it alone. You've got things to do and hopefully those things don't involve you getting the sweats and sleeping the rest of the day away.

They have stepped up their game, though and this is a fantastic drink. After drinking the blueberry pineapple, I thought it fair to try the orange mango. Man. What a tropical voyage this guy is. Decent orange and good mango put together in one small drink. They spruced it up with a lemon and it was a wonderful addition.

Look, I know it sounds like I'm really hamming it up for Wendy's but dude; seriously, this is a legitimately good drink you should try before they pull it. Be mad they took it away. Don't be mad you didn't get a chance to try it. Starting now, I told you so.