Juice - 935 Reviews

This may be made from a concentrate with added sugar, but I'm going to give this little guy a break from my dumb rules because it's great. It's largely a sweetened orange juice, but it has these wonderful sunbeams of pineapple an guava that shine through the cloudiness and light up your taste buds.
Obviously I wish there was more of a guava flavor to it, as I am a guava junky. I could be handed a freshly squeezed glass of juice that was wholly guava and I would still wish I had more of that particular flavor. I will take what I am given though and I will happily drink it again and again.

One of my favorite Simpson's moments is when they can't afford to pay their bill at a Mexican restaurant and are forced to perform as the band to work off their debt. The entire reason why I find this hilarious is that the restaurant owner says, “Your playing, while technically proficient, lacks passion.” That makes me lose it every time. This drink? This drink certainly does not lack passion (fruit), even though this is mostly apple juice and water. Even as a minority the passion fruit truly shines as the major player in this juice. At first I was shocked that I couldn't even taste the apple juice, as it normally jumps out at me when it's used as a filler, but the more I drank the more I became aware of it. It really tastes like an infinitely better version of cran-apple, you know with passion fruit instead of cranberries. I know that's dumb, but it has the same ratio of flavors and I love it.


It's crazy that with no added sweetener there is still 46g of sugar in here that are due to the fruit. That is so much natural sugar, but you know what? You're worth it.

I can't bring myself to give a juice that is not 100%...well juice a 5 bottle review, but this is right on that line.

Two kids in the office didn't ask for the punishment I gave them but oh did they enjoy it. One dude was sitting there and the other just walked in with a drink in his hands. Guess what? I don't give a rip. Everyone will enjoy this and there is nothing you can do about it. You know why? Because I'm older, that's why. I'm their mean older brother who bought them beer but instead of beer it was a spicy lemonade type drink.

We've all got glasses of our drinks and we take our first sips. Ahhhh, we all say. Ahhhh. That there was a sipping drink, one to mull over whilst looking across the water as the sun sets on yet another beautiful day at the cabin. Fish are jumping out of the water. Birds are chirping all around. Bears aren't murdering you but instead sitting beside you on the dock with their bear feat danglin' in the water.

What's so G.D. great about it? It's like lemonade with bits and grits in it. Accompanying that would be a strong, strong ginger taste that is something to call your mama about. Everything is alright. The burn. The lemon.

Kids hate vegetables and with good cause. Sometimes they smell. Brussels sprouts? Please. They stank. Fruit almost always looks good. Only weird kids like V8. I was a weird kid if that's the case but kids would much rather drink something like an apple juice or a fruit punch than a V8. Sorry, V8. You're almost the enemy. If they had drinks like this when I was a kid, I don't know. I don't know if I'd be mad because I would feel like someone was poisoning me with vegetables against my will or if I would say, "Oh, you know what? I have been dumb. Turns out vegetables are not the devil."

This is not the devil, contains fruit, and contains vegetables. It's naturally sweetened and doesn't taste like half of its ingredients. The ignorant kid in me enjoy it because I can't taste the vegetables but hey, if I could taste some celery, that might not have been so bad. It tastes like a pretty strong grape juice and that's it. Surprise kid, you've been had and you just ate vegetables. You are as dumb as you look.

While I appreciate that True Brew is trying to give people an alternative to typical energy drinks the truth of the matter is that this juice doesn't even come close to packing the same punch as one of the countless slim cans you find in gas stations across the country. Yes this tastes great, albeit more like apples and acerola cherries than watermelon and kiwi (the kiwi is hidden in the mix and the watermelon is there as an aftertaste if anything), but it doesn't give you an energy boost that you can feel. That is what most people are looking for. This probably gives you a prolonged minimal energy burst that will help you through your day, but without caffeine and taurine the majority of people just aren't going to jump on this bus. It's sad that people's mentality is along the lines of “who needs to worry about health when you need to go go go!”

Can someone check with Dante for me and find out exactly what circle of hell drinking bananas (the most hated of all fruits) falls in? I think it's either in the hoarders or the wrathful, but I'm not exactly sure. As you may have guessed, this is simply not for me. I don't know if I can stress that enough. For those of you out there that have mutated taste buds who are confused and think that bananas taste great, you're going to more than likely love this. Imagine blending up some ripe bananas and then thinning out the muck with some soy milk. There you go, you now know what this tastes like and do what you will with that knowledge. I personally will run away in fear.

I anticipated a nightmare. I thought I would find myself in a pleasant juice dream that would lull me into complacency, and just when I least expected it things would turn to terror as the banana in this juice took hold. The strange thing is that it never did. I've found myself in the endless joy that is a dream that is even better than I ever could ever have expected. This tastes like an apple-lemon juice that has a bit of ginger spicing it up. I was shocked at the level of spice in here, not in a “oh man it burns” way, but in an Autumnal dessert sort of way. There are some other flavors floating around, but none of them really stand out, they just provide nourishment and subtle flavor. I had really expected this to taste like greens and coconut water that had been slightly sweetened by the apple juice, but things went the opposite way.

Purity Organic has done the unthinkable and added banana and celery to a juice, and have those flavors be indistinguishable. Seriously, banana puree is the second ingredient and I can't taste even a hint of the only terrible fruit in existence. Face your fears people and you may just be rewarded with some of the best juice you've ever tasted.

Hey man, what the heck are you doing? You're making a huge mess. Yes I can see that you're cutting up a mango, but you're doing it all wrong. Do you realize how much fruit meat you're throwing out by cutting the skin off like that? That's at least ¼ of the fruit right in the filth bin, since you're a savage that doesn't compost. The secret is to use a potato peeler. It takes that skin right off, with minimal fruit loss. Then you cut up the rest of that little guy and enjoy away. Yeah, I know it's still a bit messy, but it's not nearly as bad. Hey, if you're just going to complain why are you even bothering? Just grab yourself a Chiquita Tropicals Mango juice. It tastes pretty similar to eating a fresh mango, and there is zero mess unless you're a slob who drools and dribbles it all over yourself. It's just water, mango, apple and lemon juice. Sure they are all from concentrate, but you wouldn't notice it by drinking it. It has a nice thick consistency and it tastes pretty darn fresh. True, there is a buttload of sugar in it, but it's all from fruit, so it's not absolutely horrible for you. Actually it's pretty darn healthy. When you go to the store, pick me up a couple of bottles as well, would you?

Oh turmeric. We meet again. Back about four years ago when we had under 200 reviews, I reviewed a turmeric drink that was putrid which you can read here. Since then, we have reviewed multiple turmeric drinks with multiple different results. This, from a company that has been very good to us in both their generosity and their quality of drinks, is not that drink I drank many moons ago. This is something different.

This drink is a wonderful blend of the ingredients stated in the flavor list which I will refresh here; orange, carrot, turmeric and mango. Everything aside from the turmeric is a pretty basic fruit juice but that turmeric brings a pretty fantastic, light burn that is not at all reminiscent of Indian food and just a flavor, and a good one at that. It's also more of a puree than it is a straightforward juice because there are bits and grits in there.

Some people in the office did not like this, which isn't surprising, but it is something new that if I could find around here, I would most defiantly buy again.

I have a stern warning for those of you who are looking for a weak, fake peach candy tasting beverage; this is not for you. Sure there is added sugar and a couple of other added juices to round it out, but this is very accurate on the flavor. It's like someone skinned a peach and let it soak for an hour or so in sugar water. That actually is a terrible comparison, because in theory that sounds horrible, but in reality it is ridiculously tasty. It just happens that's an accurate description. It tastes like overly sweet peaches, and I will not apologize for wanting to drink a whole mess of it.

I have this weird thing with “greens” juice. I feel like it should be drunk right when you get up or not at all. I'm not exactly sure where this thought process came from, but I've stuck with it. Perhaps it's just that “greens” juice taste like the healthiest thing that has ever been consumed and what better way to start your day than with a nice bottle of liquid health?

The downfall of these types of juices is that sneaky son of a gun, celery. It's perfectly fine when you are eating a stalk of it, but as soon as chunks of it are used in cooking the flavor becomes overpowering. Somehow when it's juiced in juice it becomes even stronger, even when it's raw. There is a bit of that rascal in this juice, but Evolution has a good job of keeping it at bay. There are actually 6.75 stalks of celery in this tiny bottle, so I can't believe it's not punching me directly in the taste buds. The defenders of good taste are apple, cucumber, spinach, romaine, kale, lime, lemon, parsley, wheat grass, and clover sprouts. With a combined effort they were able to fight back the tyrant that is celery and turn this juice into something truly enjoyable. Yes, it tastes like liquid vegetables because that is exactly what it is. That is not a bad thing, and the apple sweetens it up just enough to make It seem like a familiar form of juice.

Well, well, look what we've got here: Juice. You're nothing juice. You used to be all that but now you've just turned in to a zero percent juice abomination. You offer nothing to people other than a lie to those who cannot or do not read your labels. Now you just sit there and suck all day and night. What do you have to say for yourself?

You what? No. I don't believe it. You can't be made from both fruits and vegetables. That's gross. What do you mean you can't taste the carrots, beets, or potatoes? Are you lying again? You're not? Alright, hand yourself over. I'm drinking some of you. Just unscrew your hat and I'll take a little sip.

You know what, man? You are pretty right. I should add that I can taste a little strangeness just from there being something not of fruit descent but you can get a lot of cherry and a bit of limeade. I suppose that I owe you a bit of an apology since I ragged on you pretty hard before about not being the genuine article. Sorry, dude. Can I get another sip of you before you put your little cap hat on? How do you expect me to drink it? I'm not waiting for you to pee. I know that's how juice is made but to me, that's still gross.

Without fail, low calorie aka diet drinks always sit in my “to-drink” pile the longest. By pile I mean three cupboards and a drawer in the fridge, but it's much more entertaining to think of is as a giant pile of drinks next to my desk with bottle precariously placed, so that everyone is in constant fear of it crushing me to death. People would probably insist that I start wearing a Medic Alert bracelet. Alas, I am far too organized and they are in cupboards, organized by drink type.

This has been sitting around for probably 8-9 months now. It's just been hanging around like an old ghost trying to frighten me into drinking it. Finally I gave into the fear and today was the day of ingestion. It's not as bad as I had anticipated. The use of actual juice in here probably helps. This is supposed to be a cranberry and raspberry juice, but it also contains apple, black carrot, black currants and a whole mess of vitamins. The result is a fruity beverage that tastes vaguely like berries, that also has a bit of a cranberry dryness to it, but doesn't really taste like the suggested flavors. There's some sucralose in there, but it's not bad enough to ruin the drink. It's also borderline creamy, which is odd. I mean it's not like there is milk in it or anything, but it has that certain smoothness to it. For a company that makes mediocre teas, it's no wonder that they also make mediocre juice/vitamin drinks.

Are you anti Purity Organic? If so then you have voted against good taste. Not in a “Screw good taste let's go have a John Waters marathon” kind of way either. I mean your taste buds have apparently just rotted out of your mouth. Those little guys must have just shriveled up and fallen right off your tongue onto your dirty, upswept floor.

The regular line of Purity Organic juices range from the better side of decent to wonderful. With their new Superjuice line, they have gone above and beyond. It's no secret that juicing is all the rage these days, and most of that attention is spent on cold pressed juices. Purity has taken the ingredients and flavor combos that have come into vogue with cold pressed juices, and made the juice the old fashion way. While a combination of beets, apples, ginger and lemons is nothing shocking these days, a mere five years ago and it would have been turning people's heads. I'm going to tell you, cold pressed or not this juice blows my socks off. It has a nice thicker consistency, and all of the apple pulp hasn't been strained out. That makes me feel like I'm getting more from the juice, like I made it at home.

Oh top of everything else the flavor is dead center perfect. They got the balance right, when these flavors could have easily been falling off the balancing beam. Any one of these flavors could have taken the helm of this drink if the ratios weren't just quite right, but Purity Organic blended them all together perfectly. You can pick out each individual flavor if you think about it, but if you aren't concentrating they are just one exceptional new fruit flavor. Normally I like my ginger to have more of a burn to it, but the fact that it's more reserved in this beverage makes it perfect. I can only hope these start showing up on shelves in Buffalo as soon as possible.

- Phil? Hey! Phil? Phil Connors? I thought that was you!

- Hi, how you doing? Thanks for watching.

- Hey, now don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heck-fire remember you.

- Not a chance.

- Ned! Ryerson! Needlenose Ned. Ned the Head. Come on, buddy. Case Western High. Ned Ryerson, I did the whistling belly button trick at the high school talent show. Bing! Ned Ryerson, I got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate. Bing again! Ned Ryerson, I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times till you told me not to anymore. Well?

- Ned Ryerson?

- BING!

- So, did you turn pro with that belly button thing or what?

- No Phil, I sell drinks.

- What a shock.

- Do you have anything to drink? Cause if you do you could always use a little more. Am I right or am I right or am I right? Right? See after graduation I fell into the whole beverage world. My family owns a cherry farm, and it just made sense to sell cherry juice. I mean why do you think I say “Bing” all the time? I'm trying to get people to subconsciously think of cherries! Anyways I've worked out a new drink that is a combination of our famous cherries and raspberries that I get from Bill Klepler from back in high school. I know what you're thinking, cherry-raspberry juice is nothing new, but what if I were to tell you that I carbonated it and added B-Vitamins, caffeine and ginseng to turn it into a safe, healthy energy drink. I think it will be all the rage with the kids. I added some sucralose to keep the sugar content down, but let me tell you Phil, this tastes like nothing but pure juice with some bubbles in it! It's fantastic, and you'd be doing yourself a great disservice by not giving it a try.

- Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you, but I'm not going to. See you.

- Hey, that's all right, I'll walk with you. You know whenever I see an opportunity now I charge it like a bull. Ned the Bull, that's me now. You know, I have friends who live and die by the actuarial tables and I say “Hey, it's all one big crap shoot anywho.Tell me, have you ever heard of our Bing Black? Because I think that really could be the ticket for you. God! It is so good to see you! What are you doing for dinner?

- Something else. It's been great seeing you, Needlehead. Take care.

- Watch out for that first step. It's a doozy!

Crossovers are always fun. You know when characters from one work of fiction are featured in another work. Okay, maybe the upcoming Simpsons …€“ Family Guy crossover is unnecessary, but I bet you'll laugh at least a handful of times when you watch it. These switcheroo's happen in television, comic books, “normal” books and even video games. A create meshing of characters (that might technical not be a crossover) is Super Smash Bros. It takes a variety of characters from the Nintendo universe and combines them into one fighting game. I mean who hasn't wanted to watch Link mop the screen with a turd like Kirby? The thing is that beating the hell out of videogame characters can be exhausting, and dehydrating. Those characters on screen can simply be reset and they are back to full health. You as a real human, don't have that luxury, actual fluids need to be consumed. Instead of reaching for a soda or an energy drink, why not go a healthy route and down some juice. I mean with a name like Smash Berry you can even pretend that this True Brew juice was made specifically to accompany the game.

Smash Bros has an eclectic cast of characters and Smash Berry has an eclectic grouping of fruits. The label says that their countries of origin are United States, Canada, Brazil, Turkey, China and Poland. That is a whole world of fruits and you can try to determine which of the following are from those countries: apple, acerola, pomegranate, elderberries, blueberries, cranberries, acai, and grapes. Most berry combinations go heavy on the strawberries and raspberries, those two fools are nowhere to be seen here and as a result you can taste the antioxidants. It has a darker taste, but it's not harsh.

As an added bonus for your gaming needs this juice is enriched with vitamin B, which is good for energy and stamina. You can stay up all night bashing the hell out of your favorite characters and be drinking a beverage that your parents can't complain about.

If you've ever seen the world famous Thirsty Dudes t-shirt, there is a monster, a royal one named Sir Durstig who has an endless thirst and is sitting upon a large pile of empty and crushed cans of assorted drinks. I feel like I could do a pretty spot-on impression of him with these drinks because they are so tiny I could destroy a dozen without flinching. As I approached the twenty mark I might feel some regret but I would push my way to the sweet spot which is thirty. That's right, 180 ounces and 2700 calories of juice. It's not even that it's the greatest juice I've ever had but it's the fact that it's so limited that it leaves me wanting more constantly.

You read that right. No. It is not the best juice I've ever had. It is good but it's not the best. When you start adding vegetables into drinks things can get a bit hairy. You can tell that it's a quality juice however because it actually tastes like the fruit it's talking about, vegetables and all.

What's holding it back? Eh, nothing really. It's good. I could give this to anyone and they would say the same thing. There's no sugar, including fake or alternative sweeteners to speak of so everything you taste is a natural taste. Way to go, True Brew. You guys have your priorities in the right place.

Every time I'm in Boston (Allston to be exact) with my band random people always come up to me saying, “Doses? Doses?” We know that they are trying to sell us pills (up until it was explained to me I thought acid was the only thing referred to as a dose) but we always joke that they are trying to sell us the Indian Food aka dosas. Imagine walking down a city street and a sketchy dude comes up to you whispering “Dosas? Dosas?” you follow him into an alley, where he opens up his coat and hands you a nice Indian crepe. That's sketch comedy for you folks. Well, sketch comedy that a very select group of people would think is funny.

What if we turn this into a marketing strategy for these Dose dietary supplements? They get employees to go into the city and whisper “Doses? Doses?” to people and then hand them sample cans. It would frighten, confuse, and dare I say disappoint people. That is until they took a taste, then they might be hooked and want more.

It's no secret that I am not a fan of the lemon lime flavor. I find it boring, and low brow to an extent. This is something different though. It is made with actual juices from those fruits, and it is fairly tart, almost to a pinched cheeks level. One could call this a lemon-lime-ade and one would not be wrong. It's way tastier than I had anticipated. Sure you can tell that there is something else going on under the surface flavors, but that's just the vitamins and they are the whole reason for drinking this. Who wants to be bothered taking a pill vitamin when you can just slug back one of these cans that actually taste decent and not like clay? No one, that is who. So, next time someone approaches you on the street to make a purchase inquire if they are selling drugs, crepes or liquid vitamins. Then decide which would suit your needs the best.

True Brew, a company we were previously familiar with due to their line of excellent juices, has expanded their grasp into the juice world. Their #true Power line is 100% juice, with no preservatives and it is jam packed with super fruits to provide the drinker with a natural boost of energy. While I think this is a wonderful (and tasty) idea, I'm afraid that in a world obsessed with modern energy drinks that these juices just don't give enough oomph to make people switch over. It's a sad truth that most people care more about results than health in this country. I fully admit that I am one of those people. If I have to pull an overnight drink, one of these juices just wouldn't cut it, and I'm going to grab a Red Bull/Monster style drink. I wish that wasn't the case, but I am weak.

A good thing about this juice is that you don't have to be looking for an energy boost to enjoy it. It just so happens that it is a fantastic tasting beverage on its own, and there is no guilt associated with drinking it. You don't have to worry about consuming added sugar, or it giving you the jitters that keep you from sleeping. It has a light pineapple taste, with a heavier cherry one pulling it along. It's one of those rare beverages that actually tastes like cherries, and not just “red.” In this case they are the super fruit acerola cherries, which I've never had in its natural form, but I've had enough juices made with them that I know I would really enjoy the fruit. It's mellow, flavorful and makes me feel like a glutton, because after this 12oz bottle I was left wanting about 40 more ounces.

This is the kind of drink that you should be using to replace the dozens of cups of coffee you possibly down throughout your work day. It will give you just enough push for times like those. I wouldn't rely on them for times where you simply cannot fall asleep; you know when Freddie will get you, or when a pod person will replace you. For those times go with a serious stimulant.

While Sunny D is fine for children to drink, I fully believe that it is completely unacceptable for adults to consume it. I didn't even realize I had that stance until I found this can of Sunny D X and realized that we had never reviewed the original. You know what, I'm fine with that.

I dreaded drinking this. It is the Dread Pirate Roberts of sparkling beverages. I expected it to be as thick as the original but with bubbles. I don't even know how you can carbonate something so thick, and I guess I never will as this is just slightly thicker than a normal pop. Actually everything I anticipated about this beverage was out the window” it wasn't thick, it isn't really an energy drink (it does have B vitamins in it though), and it didn't taste like the sludge I remember this company putting out.

Take a classic lemon lime soda and add a little bit more lime to it. Okay, now put in a little grapefruit for good measure. Actually you might as well throw in some orange and tangerine as well. Somehow the lemon and lime stay at the top and the rest of the fruits mingle in the background. They are just extras in this made for TV movie. Now add some bubbles and the result is shockingly pretty decent. For some reason it almost has a malt taste to it, which I don't understand, but I don't hate. Actually I kind of enjoy it way more than I feel comfortable admitting. I mean I'm still not going to go back and try the fake juice original version, but this is something I would possibly drink again. It's too bad the can looks so budget though. It looks like a beverage you would find at the Dollar Store.