Juice - 935 Reviews

Oh how I wanted this to burn. "Chili?" Yeah, there are chilis in it but it didn't deliver the punishment I so desperately wanted. I guess if someone told me this is a gateway between juice and Prometheus Springs, I would be more lenient but they didn't and when I read "chili," I was ready to accept the punishment.

Disappointment aside, I will not fault them for it. I cannot blame them for my ignorance. There is some spicy kick in there and you get it with every sip. The blood orange is fruity and the chili is a nice, sharp aftertaste that keeps you coming for more. It's a very small bottle but there is no doubt that if this came in a larger size; I would enjoy all of that, too. This is a nice drink through and through and will not disappoint anyone now that I've prepared you for what to expect.

Well now I want to go to a hotel because I never drink grape juice. Why would I? I'm not eight. It's never been bad but you just grow out of it. Now, in my thirties, I'm sitting at my computer drinking a grape juice and I want to be in a hotel. Why do I want to be in a hotel? Well because they serve grape juice like this and I would get it there. I would get it to accompany my continental breakfast of eggs, bacon, cereal, tiny doughnuts, muffin, sausage, bagel and everything else under the sun. When you're in a hotel, you eat like a king. A king that eats like a king and a king that drinks like a tiny prince that would drink grape juice.

Is it good? Yeah, it's fine. It's dark grape juice. It's not too sweet and not terrible for you considering it's probably mostly fruit juice and sugar but it's natural sugar and doesn't have any strange bite.

Be a king. Be a prince. Be a queen. Be a princess. I don't care. Drink grape juice and feel young again. Or go to a hotel and gorge yourself on awkwardly small food that makes you feel awful on your way out of Cleveland. You just had to visit the USS COD Memorial, didn't you. Those troops fought so you could eat all that food.

Strawberries, watermelon and lemons; if that isn't summer, I don't know what this is. Marinate a hot dog in it, get some grass clippings on your new shoes after you mow the lawn, stop wearing socks, wear shorts, celebrate America and talk about going to the beach but don't actually go. This drink has it all and wants you to take that exotic trip back in time to something called, "July." That's right. This is a slightly sour but mostly fruity taste of lemonade with watermelon and strawberries in it. This has to be the culmination of years and long nights because to have this trio together outside of some sort of special occasion must have cost some money. You think it was cheap to have the Rat Pack play together? Boy, you should think again. Those guys were lady killers and this is like the drink equivalent of Frank Sinatra, that black dude from Cannonball Run, and the other guy.

It's not often that we come across beverages from Poland. So far it's been a handful of juices and one energy drink, which I bought in Germany. I have Polish heritage, so I would like to taste some more drinks that they produce. That might be as far as my interest in my heritage goes. I just want interesting beverages.

This comes in a misleading bottle. I have found that when something comes in a bottle this shape it is a carbonated soda, but this lacks any sort of bubbles. True to its name it tastes like someone mixed peach and orange juice and added a bunch of sugar making it fairly syrupy. It has a decent enough flavor to it, but because of the bottle my mind keeps thinking that it is flat soda, which removes some of my enjoyment. It's an okay juice drink, but if Tymbark were to simply add some carbonation I think it could have been an exceptional soda, but hey, that's not what they were going for. The world doesn't revolve around my whim.

"Does it taste like an old woman?" I said to my mom as she tried this drink. She answered with a confident "No." Look, sometimes lychee tastes like old women and that's fine because old women need love, too. This drink tastes like sparkling limeade but you honestly don't get much of a lychee taste. This drink grabbed my interest because of that fact that did a great job designing the can and the flavor sounded great. You know what? It was great. Everyone who tried it liked it. My dad did not try it because I'm pretty sure my dad only eats chicken. I saw him eat a burrito the other day and it might have been his first one. Strange considering I'm his son. Or am I? Something to think about.

Anyhow the drink is honestly good. It's got a nice, tart limeade taste and the "sparkles" make all the difference in the world. The strawberry gives it an extra sweetness that you can't get from just adding sugar. The lychee, eh, we'll let it slide. I'm still giving it four out of five regardless of the ingredient that might be too faint to mention. That's saying a lot.

Ultimately this is tangerine flavored sugar water. Yes, I know that most beverages these days could be simplified down to sugar water, but this is really just water, sugar, natural and artificial tangerine flavor, and a whole mess of unnecessary stuff. It really tastes like it's the base for a soda that they forgot to add bubbles to. I'm sure there is a place and a market for this, but I'm not sure what it is; probably kids with no discerning taste.

One thing I have learned about people from Mexico based on the beverages I have sampled from there is that they really like things to be sweet; far too sweet for my current tastes. I guess the same could be said for a lot of the beverages that come out of the US though.

Okay everyone out there who is making juice, you can give up now if you were just doing it for the flavor. Honey Drop has reached perfection on that front. I could be given a forty gallon drum of this stuff and it wouldn't be enough. I don't care if it's a physical impossibility for me to drink that much liquid in one day, I would try and I would break the rules of physics by succeeding. My enjoyment would surpass science and alternate universes would be exposed by the amount of this juice I would consume if given the opportunity. This is the absolute perfect blend of apple, ginger and lemon juice. I can honestly say that I never would have expected these to be the flavors that created the greatest juice of all time, but there you have it. Oh wait; there is one more ingredient in here as well that that is Manuka honey. It gives the juice that specific sweetness that only honey can, and as an added bonus it leaves a nice tasting film on your lips that lingers around until you lick them later.

Actually, this juice is not only potentially devastatingly good, but it is also healthy. Manuka honey is a known antibiotic and it helps the body resist infections. On top of that vitamins A and C are also prevalent in this mix up.

For the sake of the known universe I advise that this juice be monitored by the government. People should have to present an ID in order to purchase this like with cold medicine. You don't want one person drinking too much, or else universes will collide and we will all most likely perish as a result. It will be a delicious end for one human though.

Harney & Sons have proven themselves to be masters of tea. They know how to brew it and they know how to flavor it. If you've ever tasted their products you know each of them is their own special treat. Now they have ventured out past the borders of Tea Town and have traveled to the world of juice drinks. That's an important distinction there, the inclusion of the word drink. The reasoning is that if this bottle had just said juice, I probably would have made a little complaint about added sugar. For some reason because they used the word drink, I think it is more acceptable to have cane sugar in the mix. I know it's all semantics, but I go crazy sometimes.

Yes this is sweet, but so is fruit and this really does taste like you're biting into a mango that has been pumped up with water. A weird visual I know. It doesn't taste watered down per say but it tastes naturally light. There is orange in the title, but I don't taste too much of it in the drink, but I'm okay with that. Orange is a filler juice to me. There is also apple, passionfruit and hibiscus juice in here. Those three all blend together to accompany the mango. This is just great, plain and simple.

Of course I don't think the added sugar is necessary ( I couldn't resist), but at least they were upfront about it, and you know what you're getting yourself into. I don't need the sugar in my diet, but hey sometimes you just have to indulge, and I could indulge in this way more than I probably should.

I have this labeled as a juice, but the truth of the matter is that I don't know if there is even a single drop of fruit juice in this bottle. It is water, sugar, a bunch of things that have no business being in foodstuffs, and natural and artificial pineapple flavor. I'm so used to having “orange drink” around here that I never considered that other countries might have different flavors of sugar water that they pass off as juice.

This just tastes like someone let a pineapple soda go flat and then poured a tiny bit of water into it. There is no harshness to the flavor like many pineapple drinks have. I can't tell if it actually tastes like pineapple or if the flavor I'm experiencing is just what companies pass off as pineapple. Either way, I have no need for this in my life, and I'm pretty sure not many people do. If it's a cultural thing I understand. If not I just don't get it.

I made plans for today. They were awesome plans. I was going to hang out with some old friends and we were going to catch up and talk about old times. You see those friends and I have a strong connection, and we don't get together as much as we'd like to anymore, but when we do it's magic.

We all met up at the arranged time and it looked like it was going to be a great day, and then out of nowhere this jerk we went to high school with showed up and just inserted himself into our group. We tried everything we could without being overly rude, but this guy just wouldn't leave. We even tried to ignore him; we would start up conversations that were just about us old friends, and he would constantly interject with tales from his own life that none of us were interested in. I wanted to throw in the towel on this whole day. This jerk had ruined everything, but for the sake of my friends I stuck it out until the end, and you know what? That guy really was a jerk, but the strength of my friendships persevered. Everything that I loved about my friends shined just a little bit brighter, and even though the day didn't end up how I had imagined, I still enjoyed it. If it was between being alone and spending time with these folks, even with that turd around, I would choose them every time.

Oh in case you were wondering my friends were apple, mango, orange, pineapple and ginger. That dumb jerk was of course banana. He always tries to ruin everything. Not this time though. I just wish ginger would have spoken up more. I didn't get as much one on one time with him as I would have wanted.

Where do I sign up for the cleanse that I just drink this? Is it far away? I will take a trip. Seriously. This is fantastic. It tastes like a spicy lemonade and then you lick your lips and it tastes like honey. I would go broke if I did it but I would probably feel a whole lot better if I did. This drink was $7. When Jay did his cleanse, he drank four a day for three days and that math adds up to $84. I might feel better physically but mentally I would feel like I was robbed. I'm not saying it was not worth it but I simply could not justify spending that on juice. If they could somehow cut the price by adding non-local honey or something, bringing this down would let me buy it more and, who knows, feel better.

Seriously, I wish I hadn't had it shared with me from my lady friend and drank the whole thing. It was wonderful. Just slightly less punishing and masochistic than a Prometheus Springs.

Who would have ever guessed that carrot juice could be so good? I mean I am a friend of the carrot, and I enjoy eating them in their crisp, raw form, but I never thought I would take pleasure in drinking their life-juice. Let's be fair, there is a lot of sugar in here. I mean an obscene amount, like 65g. I'm sure that has a lot to do with the enjoyment factor. It also helps that apples, pears and mangos are also in the mix. The combination of all of these fruits and vegetables creates an unusual fruit punch that you won't be seeing in gallon buckets. The flavor here is almost all mango and carrot. The apple falls into the “sweet taste” category and I can't really make out the pear.

This could have been a nice healthy juice if it were freshly concocted without added sweeteners, but the high fructose corn syrup throws any health benefits out the window. It actually makes me feel fairly guilty for having drunk this entire bottle. That is so much unnecessary sugar I just ingested. Well, at least it tasted pretty great.

I don't even drink alcohol and I can tell you that this would be the greatest mixer of all time. It's sweet, it has lime in it and it has just the right amount of burn. This is the kind of flavor that could make a sober man turn to the bottle. Actually never mind that, because they can just go out and buy a bottle of this and leave the alcohol out of it.

With only three ingredients Sugarcane Island created a beverage that far superior to those who could have all the ingredients in the world. Simple is almost always better, especially when it's fresh pressed and involved a buttload of ginger. I do admit that it is a tad sweeter than what I would normally drink, and that is the only thing keeping me from giving it top marks. Flavor-wise the ginger to lime ratio is perfect, it's just the sweetener that is keeping me from enjoying an entire bottle. Perhaps I should add a little water to make it what I want as well as to stretch it out.

Apple juice: One of the hardest things to review. Why? It really tastes so similar it's like splitting hairs. It's the same with orange juice. It's hard. Also, before you ask, the answer is "Yes." Yes, we know the difference between "hard work" and "hard to review juice." We're aware of our place in this world, alright?

This is apple juice. The difference is that this has sugar in it. Most apple juices are straight apple juice. I do not know why Chaparritas decided to add sugar and honestly, it doesn't change the taste at all. If they would have used a different sweetener like corn syrup it probably would have made it strange and thick but since they used natural, cane sugar, it probably closely mimics that of the sugar that comes from apples.

Sugar? No sugar? At the end of the day you've got a nice, petite glass of apple juice.

When I first read this companies website, I immediately thought to myself, “These people are either completely unaware of the market, or they are a bunch of dirty liars.” You see they claimed that in 2012 they released “the first packaged, shelf stable, ready-to-drink, & natural Vietnamese Sparkling Limeade beverage.” I thought to myself, I've had limeade before, this is nothing new, those liars!” Then I looked back at prior reviews on Thirsty Dudes and I realized that all of the limeades I have drunk in the past were either still beverages or they were mixed with cherry if they were carbonated. None of them would be considered classic sparkling limeade. I take back the thoughts I had in my head Phancy. Your statement may very well be correct, even if it blows my mind that this hasn't been marketed before.

The genius of this beverage is in its simplicity. The only ingredients are sparkling water, lime juice and cane sugar. It tastes authentic and homemade. It actually tastes like someone squeezed a lime into sweetened water, which is how it should taste, because that is what it is.

Obviously this leads me to think of lemonade with the primary ingredient swapped out for limes. That lead me to wonder if children in Vietnam set up limeade stands in front of their house, like kids sell lemonade in the states. I hope they do, because that sounds delicious.

'Tis apple season. We made it. We made it to another apple season. Also, apparently equally as important is that it is "pumpkin spice" season but that holds no weight in this review. This is a sugarcane drink. This is just a sugarcane drink, too. So why am I mentioning apples? Well it tastes like a really sweet, earthy, slightly rotten apple, that's why. I could not tell you why it tastes like this but it does. It's not terribly fantastic, either. It's really sweet and that's fine since it is sugarcane. Sugarcane itself, the raw stalk, tastes good because there is a cool texture when you bite it. This is just a liquid and it comes at you a little fast and there is nothing to break up the onslaught of sugar water down your gullet. I don't want and I didn't want that. I understand that it's raw and that's the only ingredient but I bet if I cut it with water or something it would have been more tolerable.

I can only hope that everyone who reads this is familiar with the Purity Test. If you're not, what did you do with your time in school? It's generally a questionnaire used by high school and college students to determine your degree of innocence in matters such as sex, drugs, and other damning things. Depending on what type of crew you roll with a low purity score could be a thing of embarrassment or pride.

I hadn't taken one of these tests since college, so I decided now was as good a time as any. I would like to report that these juices were nowhere to be found on the test, shocking I know. I'm sure some weird questions could be rephrased to include it, but I can also assume that the company would be none too pleased about that. Oh well, I don't need to know what degrading things can be done with juice. All I need to know is that it's tasty and that I enjoy drinking it.

This is just mango puree and orange juice with some sugar and water added to it. The mango flavor is steering the ship, just as it should be. I have no problem with orange juice, but it's such a standard juice that I enjoy when other flavors take over. I personally don't see the need for the added sugar. I would have enjoyed it much more in its natural state, so I didn't feel as if I had to brush my teeth afterwards. I can't argue with flavor though, and this is full of it.

For those of you keeping score at home, I got 44% on the purity test. I'm sure there are people everywhere praying for my soul. Take the test yourself and see if you need to be saved.
http://www.puritytest.org

Are you tired of boring old lemonade? Well then, you should step up your game and grab yourself a bottle of this sugarcane juice. Not only does Sugarcane Island swap out boring old lemons with exciting state of the art limes, but there is also so much sugarcane juice in here. There is a certain joy that I experience when I can taste the difference between cane sugar and any other sweetener. When done right it has a nice natural flavor that is sweet and almost gritty. It is the most superior of all sweeteners.

Some, like myself, may find it humorous that the label says no added sugar, when one of the two ingredients in here is sugarcane juice. You might think, “This whole drink is mostly sugar, which tastes delicious but should probably be drunk sparingly.” Like me you would be wrong, as I was informed by the company. Sugar cane and cane sugar are two different things. Sugarcane comes from pressing a sweet grass and cane sugar is processed sugar. The bottom line is that the previous is healthier and not in fact an added sweetener.

See, now you learned something new, so throw that lemonade in the filth bin and enjoy a bottle of this the next time you're at a beach on a nice hot day, trying to hide from the murderous sun.

"I could make this at home." might be a chef's worst "comment" from a patron. Most of the time, "Shut up. No you can't, sir. I went to culinary school and you cannot make a duck confit like this in your microwave you fat dump." is what goes through their head. This, though. This is a sweetened passion fruit juice. I've seen passion fruit and I've seen sugar cane. Mush them up and you've got this drink.

Now what is different is that I'm not going to try it and I am happy someone else did it for me. This is good. It tastes like a nice, sweet juice. The passion fruit shines and is, if anything enhanced by the sugar cane and not by some artificial sweetener. There is nothing in this, though. Passion fruit and sugar cane juice. Done. Two ingredients. No mucking about.

So if you are a patron of a restaurant and you eat something you can make at home, good for you. Go home, save some money and make your own. That or open up a restaurant and show that chef who is better. If you're not going to do either of those, enjoy the presence of your friends and family and stop being a regular know-it-all. No one likes that. Be fun to be around.

What we have here is a wonderfully confusing melody of flavors. This is a beverage that was formulated for function over flavor but with a roster like this the flavor takes care of itself. iQ has gathered up apple cider, white grape, strawberry, passion fruit, orange, lime, guarana and mixed them all up with a little bit of vitamin B12 and the results are fantastic. All of the individual flavors are very present and are just trying to beat the hell out of each other to come out on top. This is a true fruit punch. All of the others are just chumps compared to the joy that this juice brings.

I love that they chose to use cider over straight apple juice. In a world where apples are used to stretch juice and make them a tad bit sweeter, using cider pushes it to the next level. Also, out of all the juices involved only one (white grape) is from concentrate.


This beverage was put together to get the drinker up and running without relying on the caffeine from coffee. Who wouldn't rather drink juice than coffee? Oh, a lot of people? Well I don't want to know them. Actually, no that's fine, it just means more just for the likes of me, and we want all the juice.