Juice - 935 Reviews

Ladies and Gentlemen, We have done it. We have compressed all that you love about apples and turned it into a liquid that closely resembles that of its original, solid form. Please hold for applause. We have some more explaining to do. We've taken apples, actual apples and compressed them down until their poor skins cannot contain their contents any longer and when that happened, we compressed even more to release the sweet nectar of the apple. Then we added a little bit of sugar, you know, for fun.

Now, and only until now, can you applaud and get in line to shake the hand at the scientists that we gave massive amounts of money at to develop this master beverage. Why isn't anyone clamoring to allow these scientists, these masters of men, to impregnate their wives and determine the worthiness of their very being? I'm sorry sir, what did you say? Apple juice exists? Surely you jest. This has never been done before. What do you mean that baby has some? Baby, come here. Give me your bottle. Oh, you're very cute. Thank you. I promise I will not drink your entire bottle. I am a scientist, not a monster.

Huh. Well. This is a bit humiliating. It appears that this drink which you peasants call "apple juice" does exist and is readily available. It appears we have not only wasted your time calling you out of your homes and work, but have also wasted tens of thousands of dollars on developing something that all of you are more than familiar with. Perhaps us scientists should stop working in caves and go outside into the sunshine and fraternize with the people to find out what they really want. Our bad.

With a name like Sprizz-O for a beverage that boasts to be “Juice & Seltzer Water” I would expect simplicity. In my head its creation would go something along the lines of putting juice in a glass and adding just a spritz of seltzer water to give it some carbonation. That it's that's all that would go into it, and you know what it would be great. Sure in this instance it would be sour because of the grapefruit juice and a tad bitter because of the seltzer water, but it would be pure and simple. It would be something to embrace. Unfortunately, most of the world would not share in my jubilation for such a beverage, and Sprizz-O knows it. As a result they included sugar into the mix to tame the sour/bitter taste that nature had intended.

I can't blame them. They are a business and I'm sure they will sell way more bottles this way instead of the way I envisioned. To be fair they also only added minimal sugar (9g), and you still get most of the sourness from the grapefruit. They added just enough to take a bit of the edge off. It's not ideal for one such as me, but it's close enough that I can't complain. So ignore everything I wrote previously. This is a great sparkling beverage that more people should replace their normal soda intake with.

I want so badly for the eldest male in the Harney clan to be named James, and for everyone to call him Jim. I also hope his sons are really only in their mid-twenties. My whole reasoning for this is that I am a child and I so badly want Mr. Harney to have been about 15/16 in 1987, when the classic film Earnest Goes to Camp came out. The only dumb reason I have for this is that every time I read Harney and Sons, all I can think of is Varney and Sons, and in case you don't know the actor who played the role of Ernest was named Jim Varney. You see I am a cruel man and I want to patriarchal head of the Harney clan to have been teased as a child because of his name. It's a rite of passage for teenage boys and I would hate for him to have missed it. If no one yelled “Hey Vern” at him, there is no hope for this world.

Okay, never mind that tangent I just went off on. It had absolutely nothing to do with the contents of this bottle. So let's move on to the important information. Harney & Sons make delicious beverages that I have enjoyed up to this point. When you take a solid company and introduce blackberry in to the mix, magic is bound to happen. This is a wonderful mixture of black tea, blackberry juice, hibiscus, and boysenberry juice. It all blends together into a beverage that anyone would long for on the long nights at camp. It's very sweet and fruity, actually it's a tad bit too sweet with 42g of sugar per bottle. It probably wouldn't taste overly sweet to most people, but I've been drinking unsweetened tea constantly this summer, so I've been noticing sweetness more.

My only real complaint here, and it's hardly a complaint, is that I wish the tea flavor was a bit stronger. The berry taste is a natural one, but it's still very in your face. If it were mellowed out a bit, that might take care of the sugar as well and this would be absolutely perfect.

Hey buddy, even though you look completely worn out, why don't you pop on over to the fuse box and open it up and see if you can figure out why the lights are working? I'm just kidding you brother, I just have the switch turned off. I'm trying to toughen up my eyes by reading in the dark. With the appending apocalypse you gotta be ready and you can bet your sweet ass that within two years electricity won't exist. I don't want to be that fool that can't read anything in the dark when that comes to pass. Seriously though check out the fuse box and get yourself one. Oh I'm sorry, I call my fridge the fuse box, because m I don't want to be that fool that can't read anything in the dark when that comes to pass. Seriously though check out the fuse box and get yourself one. Oh I'm sorry, I call my fridge the fuse box, because my mom keeps it stocked with Fuze drinks. She's been raggin' me about how I need to lose weight so she buys me the low calorie “Slenderize” ones. I don't know what she's talking about. These three bills will help me to stay alive at the end of the world. While all you skinny folks are withering away I'll be eating my own fat and prospering.

Oh man, you should have grabbed the blueberry raspberry one. It's actually got a bunch of juices in it. Okay it's mostly apple juice, but there are a bunch of other fruit and vegetable juices in it, even though they make up less than .5% of the ingredients. It tastes like a berry drink that is heavy on the blueberries, but the sucralose in it gives it a weird taste. It doesn't taste overly diet, but it's done something to the juice that makes it taste a bit off. Everything mixed together gives you a bunch of vitamins and minerals. It's pretty rad. I know my mom just thinks I'm fat, so she buys it because of the low sugar content ,but all that Super Citrimax and Chromium in my system is really going to come in handy when the world…€¦well you know where this is going. Prepare yourself brother!

Blueberry lemonade is something I have never had in real life. I was at a wedding in Massachusetts where some kid wore a kimono and no one said anything and made my own cherry lemonade which was great. I mulled it myself. I don't mess around. Blueberry lemonade seems easier since there are plenty of blueberries around and lemonade isn't hard to come by. Problem is, if I made it myself, it would be better than this. "Audacious!" you say? Well perhaps but it would be closer to the model of blueberry lemonade since there would be no mucking about with artificial sweeteners, preservatives and the like. Mash up some blueberries and put it into some water with lemon juice and sugar and you've got it. This is pulpless and not sour. It just "tastes like" blueberry lemonade like when markers "smell" like fruit but when you take a small nibble, you've discovered that you have discovered that it's a very one dimensional impression.

What this lacks is what makes lemonade great and that's pulp, bite, attitude and clean ingredients. The Reb A gives it a bit of an unwarranted bitterness that just tastes like lies. This isn't bad but it's like taking a girl home at the end of a long night that is wearing a lot of makeup and you know that when she inevitably stays the night and wakes up, your pillow is going to look like a towel behind the Chanel counter at your local department store and your face will be as red as her lips were the night before with regret and self-embarrassment.

Many times in my life I have forgotten how much I love grapes. It's a well-known fact that most things that are grape flavored resemble the fruit about as much as infants love chewing tobacco. Is that the most random comparison of all time? I think it just might be. The thing is that the trouble with grape doesn't end there. On top of being defamed by impersonators, there is a decent chance that when you eat a grape you're going to get a crappy soggy one; such a disappointing treat. When you get a good one though, life is good. A nice firm, juicy grape can go a long way with one's taste buds.

This here drink is a good middle ground between juice and drink. It's what all grape flavored things should aspire to be. Sure it would be much better if it was just grape juice with chunks of grape “meat” in it, but we all know that would be expensive, and also probably too tart for most consumers. To solve this conundrum Wei Chuan watered it down a bit, and then added a healthy dose of sugar. The result is a candied grape flavor, which isn't nearly as bad as it sounds. If were carbonated it would be the best grape soda I've ever tasted. Instead it winds up being a better than average grape drink. To be fair if it didn't have the chunks of grape in it, I probably would have only awarded it a three out of five bottle rating, but the meat is great. It's very similar in texture, size and flavor to aloe drinks. Everyone knows I can't get enough of those.

I'll tell you something and you're not going to like it, Carlos. I don't like bananas. I know you're crazy about them joints but me, man, I don't like them. You just handed me this drink and I don't know man, I don't think I can handle it. I'm not allergic or anything but I just don't like them. You don't have anything else to drink? Man. You know what, dude? I'll do it.

Carlos, I might owe you an apology. Maybe you know me better than I thought. Maybe you know me better than I know myself because this drink isn't bad and even though there is a hint of banana, I'm not about to spike it in your living room like you would a controller when I whoop you in Halo. This is mostly strawberry, which everyone loves and you can't taste the coconut too much and this has been sitting there for a while. That's when coconut blows is when it's warm. The banana, yeah, it's in there but I'm not eating a banana and this is accompanied by better, stronger fruits.

Dude, alright. That grief I gave you earlier, you didn't deserve it. I had a bad day. I ate a bad breakfast burrito and it disagreed with me. I'm alright now, man. Sorry. Now grab that controller. I'm'a whoop you!

Sometimes you stay out in Brooklyn until 5am watching bands and hanging out with friends, all while stealing their tickets for free personal pizzas that they got for ordering drinks at Lulus in Greenpoint. The next morning you wake up at 9am like clockwork feeling like garbage, yet unable to fall back asleep. You get a minimal breakfast and realize what you really need is some nice fresh-ish juice. Lucky for you juicing is all the rage in this particular city to an extent that even delis (aka convenient stores) make their own juice. You go to a natural market down the street and are presented with a treasure trove of liquefied fruits and vegetables. Even though there is a bunch that you haven't reviewed for your dumb website about drinks, you decide to go with the store brand because you just can't pass up pineapple cucumber juice of any sort.

With your first sip you know you messed up. You should have spent the extra dollar and gone with the passionfruit juice that caught your eye. It's not that what you chose is bad, in fact if this would have been somewhere in Middle America you would have been stoked on it. But at one of the hubs of the world, with so many choices, you just expected more. The juice isn't as strong as you hoped it would be. It tastes like a watered down pineapple juice with some cucumber skin ground up in it. When you drop $5 on a juice when you're feeling like garbage with the sun blaring you want something that is crisp and refreshing, not a weak juice that is borderline boring.

The promise of a wonderful cucumber juice was nothing but a lie. You continue to sip away though. After all you did pay a somewhat hefty price for this bottle, and it is making you feel a little bit better. Up next I suggest downing that coconut water you also purchased. Eating more pizzas than you can count on one hand sure puts a toll on your body.

Oh the passion. Oh the passion. Can you believe it? I mean, I feel guilty looking through this telescope at them but I can't help but looking. I hope no one see us. If taken out of context, people could think we were being real creeps.

Oh...what...honey...honey no...This isn't what it looks like...please honey. Come look. I swear. I won't move the telescope. Just look through. What do you mean, "what are you looking at?" Look at them. They're so big! No. Honey look, right on the trees, gigantic passion fruits.

Yes. That is what I'm talking about, passion fruit. Dave and I went to the store and bought these passion fruit drinks that are really good. It inspired me to pull out the old telescope and see if they place down by the ocean still had passion fruit on their trees. Remember when we used to go out there when we were younger and knock them down right from the trees? I was telling Dave about it and he wanted to get a real one. Yeah, you can try this drink. It's good but it's a little too sweet for me. Great passion fruit taste but it's just a pretty regular juice.

You want to go see if we can get some of those passion fruit off the tree like the old days? Awesome. Dave, put on your shoes! We're going for a trip. What did you say, honey? There is a naked girl on the beach? Let me see. OHHHHH!!! That's a naked dude! You got me again. Now I remember why we put this thing away in the first place.

This is a bit of a wild ride, but not really the thrill a minute I was hoping for. It has a sourness from the grapefruit, but not really in a way that makes your lips pucker up. The ginger is in a similar state. It has some burn to it, but it never reaches a level that hurts in a good way. Instead it leaves your throat with a mild annoyance as if you had been hanging out all night in a smoky bar. This beverage plays with your emotions, pulling you this way and that, but never fully takes you to the destination you want to go. Instead of walking you to your door, it drops you off at some seedy truck stop on a deserted highway whose only denizens are an army of lot lizards.

The only ingredients are water, grapefruit juice, agave nectar and ginger juice, so the problem comes from one or two locations. First off, it's a more water than juice (only 20%). I want that grapefruit to grab hold of my taste buds and squeeze them until they scream. What I am delivered couldn't even be described as a minor inconvenience. Secondly, this is something that I hardly ever say about drinks, it's not sweet enough. It's like the sugar is dipping it's toe into the pool and it can't decide whether it wants to take a swim, or not. Just jump in, you're annoying everyone around you with your indecision

After smack talking this product for two paragraphs, I would say that it's still decent, but it just has such unrealized potential. Either lowering the percentage of water or adding more sweetener would greatly improve this beverage and take it in the direction that I so desperately want it to go.

Darren, what are you doing? I don't think that's how it works, man. You can't just not eat vegetables for a month and drink a green juice to try and facilitate your body's lack of proper vitamins and minerals. Can I have a sip? Bleh! I would rather eat vegetables every day like a normal person than drink a bottle of this. It just tastes like someone juiced up vegetables and is making you drink that. Do you remember when Sally had her jaw wired shut because of some jaw alignment issues and she didn't have anything to eat or drink for like two weeks? This would be perfect for her but you are an able bodied man and have the ability to actually eat food. Yeah, I know they claim there is an apple and lemon in there but they also claim to have seventeen kale leaves, one whole pound of spinach, and a handful of other stuff in there so one apple isn't quite cutting it.

Is something wrong with eating peas? You're in your late twenties and although you don't like to be reminded, you have to eat your vegetables, dude. There really isn't any way around that. This is not a solution to anyone's problem. Anyone who would drink this would already be eating vegetables and doesn't need to be binging on them anymore. Strange demographic Trader Joe's. Terrible choice Darren. Terrible choice.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm here today to discuss a very important topic with you, the death of the mango. You see for the last 10-15 years mango has been everywhere in the beverage world. At first it was a wonderful thing having such a glorious fruit flavor readily available, but then the quality began to slip, the same way that it had in the past for orange, grape and the beloved cherry. People were tricked into thinking that a weird artificial flavor was an acceptable substitute and people have come to believe that this flavor is what this great fruit really tastes like.

We are here to ask for donations to help revive the reputation of the mango. We need to make people aware that this is not a cheap tasting flavor. That it is strong and robust and truly wonderful. We are not asking for direct donations, we are simply asking you to only buy beverages that have real mango in them. Kicking this off we are pleased to unveil the newest product from Peace Tea; Viva Mango.

This is made with real mango puree as well as apple, orange and pineapple juice. While this is better than a lot of mango flavored beverages on the market, it does miss its mark a bit. The apple and the orange juice take away from the robustness of the mango. That causes the natural flavor to be watered down, or juiced down if you want to be fair. It doesn't so much taste like those juices, as it just tastes like weaker mango. Ideally they would have been left out and this would have just been mango puree with a splash of pineapple juice thrown in for good measure.

As I said, this is a step in the right direction, but the added ingredients, which I assume were used to lower the price point, distract from this potentially wonderful juice drink. Let the mango live people. Let it live!

You know how you've been waiting for what feels like your whole life to taste a beverage that tastes like the guarana that is used as an energy boosting ingredient in nearly every energy drink? Remember how you spent many a sleepless night thinking away the dark hours hoping and praying that this reality would see the light of day? Oh, you haven't? You never even contemplated such a beverage, mainly because you've never heard of guarana and didn't realize it was in all those slender cans you slug back? Well, you my friend should crack a food book sometimes. I don't know what a food book is; maybe a catalog of food, maybe a cook book, perhaps it`s even just an ad from the grocer, but one thing is for certain is that there is a whole world of food stuffs that you are completely ignorant of.

Now it's time to describe the juice of your dreams that I have imposed upon you. This is mostly a mango juice that has a handful of guarana seeds mixed in to give this tropical drink even more of a twist. Apple juice serves as the bass for its natural sweetness, but it's hardly noticeable in the flavor.

Now I know what I said before, but I am a man who enjoys the beverages of many cultures and I in fact have had several guarana flavored sodas before. They have been less than stellar. They almost always taste like a fruitier kola champagne aka fruity bubble gum. It's lucky for us that this isn't processed to hell, and it has some semblance of freshness, so that gross flavor that is only acceptable in gum form is nowhere to be seen. In here the guarana just tastes fruity and exotic. There are also some pineapple and lemon juice in the mix, and while they are more notable than the apple juice, they stick to the fringes of the flavor and serve to round everything out a little bit.

This tastes nothing like the classic energy drink taste that most of us have begrudgingly grown to love. Nor does it have the kola champagne taste that guarana sodas tend to have. What this is far surpasses those garbage drink and gives you something you can really enjoy without feeling bad about.

Man while I'm sitting back relaxing drinking my juice I can only think about how the rest of the world is full of suckers. They are all drinking regular orange juice and here I am living like a king drinking mandarin juice, and it even has pulp. I swear in some parts of the world this really would make me royalty. Mandarin juice is just so superior. It has its own unique taste, which still clearly being part of the orange family. Jim, you haven't had much to say about his. Actually why are you making a giant pile of salt out here on the back deck. Oh, you're saving up so you have a surplus next winter because you just want to spread it over the driveway so you never have to shovel? Well, I'm not sure if that will work, but I like the way you think, and I give you points for ingenuity. Why don't you pull yourself up a hammock and grab a nice glass of mandarin juice and take in a slice of the good life. Oh man, Jim! You've covered in salt and a bunch of it got into the juice. This is why no one likes you Jim; you ruin even the simplest of things.

You're still drinking the juice? Did you see how much salt dissolved in there? You say it's not that bad? Give it here! Actually you're right, this is not nearly as salty as I would have expected, and it gives the juice a certain charm. Actually no, I was wrong. One or two sips was okay, but the more I drink the more I notice the salt and it's kind of ruining everything, much like yourself. I feel like I might try putting a dash of salt into my next carafe of mandarin juice, but anything more than a pinch is just too much. I can't make it even a third of the way through this glass. Jim, you're lucky I'm not the king I previously pretended to be or else it would be off with your head!

Ahh summertime. Hot dogs raining from clouds made of hamburgers. The air filled with the scent of noodle salad and freshly cut grass. That's what summer is all about. I found something we can add to the mix and it is this drink. Watermelon cucumber? Are you kidding me? Summer, dude. Well, I don't know if people are making...wait...I'm on to something...pizza...where the pizza is a slice of watermelon and the pepperoni is cucumber...Mike, you're a genius. I'd like to patent pend this, please, if you don't mind. I'll be right back, hold on.

I just got back from the patent office and you can't patent the idea of putting vegetables on fruit for some reason unless you sell it as a product which I don't have the energy for but if you'd like to take it and run with it, I ask for ten percent of all sales.

Why should this be another staple in summertime drinking? Watermelon is a limited time, summer fruit. Ever eat watermelon in winter because it blows. Cucumber is fine year 'round but teamed up with his (or her) friend watermelon. BAM! Summertime Emeril style. Great watermelon taste with a light cucumber aftertaste all while not having to deal with any syrupy garbage. What more could you ask for? Oh, the hot dogs from the burger clouds are spoiling in the street? Yeah, but it cut down on your dog food spending, didn't it? Not so bad after all.

You know something is all the rage when grocery stores start selling their own version of it. Cold pressed juice has been on a steady climb in the world of popularity and now we have Trader Joes with three juices of their very own. I admit they are not your average grocery store, but this is still a big step. They have released onto the world a veritable Ethiopian flag of juice with their red, green, and yellow flavors.

This juice smells strongly of apples and yellow bell peppers. It's a weird combination of scents, but it lets you know exactly what you're in for. I took a sip and thought, “Wow this is amazing!” As I kept drinking I realized that while this is a good juice, I had gotten caught up in the cold pressed craze. I certainly enjoy this, but it's not over the top good. It's nothing that is going to make me salivate just thinking about. That exact response should be a requirement for beverages that get 5-Bottles on Thirsty Dudes. I mean if it were served to me I could pound bottle after bottle of this, but at the same time I could walk away after a couple of sips and not think about it again once the aftertaste faded away.

The contents of this juice are: 2 large apples, ¼ pineapple, 1 medium yellow pepper, 1/5 of a cucumber, 2 limes, and 3 mint leaves. For having so many ingredients that normally have such potent flavor, a bunch of them are very faint in the mix. The mint is only there as a coolness, and not as a flavor. I can't believe that two whole limes were squeezed to make this, because their flavor is so much in the background. In regards to flavor this is basically a hyped up apple juice. I want so badly for the pineapple to be stronger, but it doesn't quite get there. That yellow pepper is certainly there though. It's strange at first, but once you get used to it being mixed with the sweetness of the apples, it's quite nice.

I really have nothing bad to say about this at all, I just wanted more from it. It has all the health benefits you could ever want from a juice, along with a nice flavor. I'm just so hard to please these days.

Feeling good is something I think everyone can get behind. I mean unless you're a masochist, no one is sitting around thinking of things they can ingest in order to make themselves feel terrible. Who out there has said something along the line of “Oh man I can't wait to get home and eat that deep fried pizza that has been dipped in hot chocolate and covered in powdered sugar. It's going to make me feel like such garbage, it's going to be great!”

This company makes beverages that you can feel good about drinking. There is no added sugar, or artificial garbage to make you feel run down and gross. They are simply juice and sparkling water. This one in particular is mango, orange, passionfruit, apple and lemon juice all melded together into a perfectly unique flavor. It has just the perfect amount of carbonation and it's lightly sweetened due to the natural sugar in the fruit. I could drink this constantly and not feel a bit of regret. It's near perfect. American companies take note. If you don't want to see that dystopian future that is in all those movies, start making juices like this. It could in fact save mankind.

This is a stupendous idea that I can't believe hasn't been thought up before. With companies constantly reaching to find new pairings of flavors, this is a great way to group them together. I've never met a stone fruit that I haven't liked: peaches, plums, apricots, nectarines, and cherries. Heck, you can even through avocados into that mix, since they are technically a fruit (Bolthouse chose not to though). All of those are excellent fruits that I could eat all day long. Why not mix them all together?

This ended up being a good juice, but it didn't live up to the expectations that were swimming around in my brain fluids. The cause of this is the inclusion of other fruit juices. I understand that some fruits are more costly than others, and Bolthouse likes to keep their juice slightly lower priced than its competitors, so they use “filler fruit.” Pear, apple, and banana are used to round things out and make the drink a little sweeter while keeping it 100% juice. I would much rather this then adding sugar, or other ingredients to fill the juice out, but it does take away from the flavor a bit, making the whole thing a bit mellow.

I had expected the main flavor in the juice to be peach. It's a strongly flavored fruit, with a low price point. As it turns out the peach is there, but the apricot is carrying most of the flavor weight. One forgets how prominent apricots can be, the rest of the fruits kind of blend together. You can make them out if you concentrate, but it's mostly a general flavor. There is also some “finely ground chia” in here, but I don't think they effected the flavor at all, and you certainly can't feel them in the texture.

I enjoyed this, but I was hoping for something a bit more formidable with such heavy hitters of the fruit world.

“I got OJ, purple stuff, soda…€¦Bravo?” That is the Italian version of the classic Sunny D commercial. Like Sunny Delight this is an overly thick juice drink that impersonates orange juice. At least in Italy they have a blood (red) orange version. Other than that I could be served this blindfolded and I would think it was something from the American company.

I was told that I needed to try this, as it was something unusual. It may be unusual in Europe, but it just tastes like a junk American fake juice to me, albeit with a little twist.

Of course after I spend a week and a half in the UK, and only have one day in Germany to grab all the drinks I can, I end up getting a juice that is produced not far from our home base back in England. Eh, I do what I do and who are you to judge me? Oh the people who read this site and make it worth doing? Okay, I'll accept your judgment.

This juice sounded very interesting and it sounded like reality? Did I just blow your minds? Let me restate that, It tastes exactly like you would expect it to from the flavor. It's mostly apple juice, with a little bit of kiwi added for a nice pleasant taste. It's calming. It's relaxing and it's delicious. Then the lime sneaks up behind you and punches you square in the mouth. Suddenly it's a whole new adventure. The lime is so strong and authentic tasting that it took me by surprise. I quickly grew to love it and before I could take a breath the bottle was gone. This is simply fruit juice that is thick and smooth and I loved every second of it.