United States - 4098 Reviews

Tonight, I was accompanied by a tickle in my throat. It was an unwelcome guest that I couldn't get rid of fast enough. I didn't ask for it, and it's not like I didn't drink anything all day. I drank many glasses of tea and no water. I know, I should drink more water, but it's hard when there is tea in the fridge. It's unsweetened tea, so I don't want to hear anything from dentists, dentist apprentices which just occurred to me is a pretty killer rhyme but I don't know where I would use it in a rap lyric, or any other profession that cares about teeth. I don't need you professionals or 2-week course takers telling me what to do. I know what's going on in my mouth and although I don't floss as much as I would like/need, I eventually get around to it and if you accompany me on the bus in the morning, you will rate me in the high percentile of dental hygiene. Seriously, there was a dude on the train last month in 20-degree weather sweating profusely in only an unzipped hoodie. So don't tell me.

While you're not telling me anything, don't tell me that I should have had a key lime pie by now because some people just don't have time to experiment with new pie flavors when there are apple and pumpkin pie lying around to be eaten. That being said, I have had key lime jellybeans and although they're not my favorite, they're not terrible and I feel, a fair representation of the general idea behind key lime. This drink was pretty good. It was lighter than the
grape Bot drink, but this was more quenching and less juice. It was good. Light on the flavor, lighter on the sweetness, and quite fulfilling for what I needed it for, the aforementioned throat tickler.

My throat is now fine and I owe it all to you, Bot. Thanks.

I think it's funny when companies decide to put a name on a drink but not mention the flavor. Because of this, our database says this flavor is 'Vengence'. What exactly does vengeance taste like? If I had to guess by the color of the fonts and the liquid inside the can, I would say this would taste like green apple. In a way I was right, but also wrong.

It's pretty easy to recreate the taste. All you need is a sour green apple Jolly Rancher and a friend. First, put the Jolly Rancher in your mouth. After a few seconds, have your friend punch you in the stomach really hard. This is what this drink tastes like, plain and simple.

For years Arizona has run the tallboy can of tea game. They were fairly unchallenged. Peace Tea was a contender, but their drinks always left something to be desired. Xing Tea has now officially issued a challenge to Arizona. Just like in Mike Tyson's Punch Out you can't just come right out and fight the champ. You have to fight your way up the ranks. In the first two fights Xing held it's own. In all honesty when you're fighting the Glass Joe and Von Kaiser of iced teas you really don't need to put up much of a fight to get them down. In the third fight Xing's sweet tea went up against iced tea's version of Piston Honda. It was a long, drawn out fight but it ended with a TKO in favor of Xing when it noticed his eyebrow movements. After that Xing really started to shine. It plowed its way through its opponents, even beating that annoying fat slob King Hippo. He definitely would be some sort of ghetto tea that's over-saturated with high fructose corn syrup.

Finally we are at the here and now. Xing is going to be battling against Great Tiger. I always hated that guy. He was always a thorn in my side via video game boxing. Xing has trained well and has put forth its best mango effort for this match. This is a smart tea. It's really sweet, but you can tell by taste and consistency that it's cane sugar sweet. It tastes like a summer sweet tea made with green tea instead of black. The mango flavor is attentive. It's knows when to hit Great Tiger's jewel with it's bite and when to hold back and block his teleportation attack. It's these great moves that helped Xing win this battle as well.

Xing still has a long way to the title fight, but if it keeps making the moves it's been making, it will be going toe to toe with Arizona Black & White in no time.

I no nothing about nutrition aside from the standard things:
1. Don't each too much sugar
2. Eat in moderation
3. Chocolate gives you zits
4. When you eat too much, you get fat.
5. Diabetes is bad
6. Working out is good.

I don't know anything about flax seed. I asked my boss, who knows his share of fitness, and he said that flax seed is like a miracle food and it is high in fat, fiber, and protein. From what I would imagine, good fat, good fiber, and good protein. Now that we've dissected what this drink embodies, let's get right down the Jay's favorite new saying, brass tacks.

This is good. It's strange, though. Good strange, just different. It's viscous, almost syrupy. Thick even. This does not make it bad. It almost tastes like a Pannela type drink. It's sweet and doesn't have any of the "fish oil" taste, which according to my boss is frequently occurring in flax seed. Think of this as a light lemon honey tea. Do you like that? Then you'll like it.

This could not look more like a wine bottle. I had to read the entire bottle several times before I was fully convinced that it was not. Just because I don't drink alcohol doesn't mean that I can't be fancy. I busted out one of my roommates fancy wine glasses and poured myself a glass. Not too big mind you, as the bottle recommends you drink only 2 ounces twice daily.

It may not be wine, but it is some of the most potent juice I've ever come across. The prime flavor in the juice is definitely the acai. There is a whole lot of it in each sip. It is combined with 18 other fruits and mashed into this wonderful bottle. There are a lot of fruits present that I have never heard of before such as aronia, maqui, sea buckthorn, boabab, cupuacu, bilberry, jabuticaba. A lot of those words just seem made up. They are apparently magical fruits that are "scientifically proven to strengthen the body's immune defenses." As I said before it's a strong juice. It's the kind of juice that you can tell it has to be doing wonders for your health just from the taste. I don't mean it tastes bad at all, but you can just imagine the fruits putting on their armor and taking up their swords and going to war against all the nastiness in your body. I wonder if buckthorn rides a horse in battle.

What is up with all of these political sodas? Leninade, Not See Kola, and now Red Cola. I had no idea that soda was such a strong propaganda tool. Imagine political leaders standing at the podium, giving their speeches. Instead of emphasizing with a fist, or a thumb gesture, the one in power shakes a bottle of soda. As the speech reaches its crescendo the bottle is opened and the built up carbonation sprays everywhere as cheers explode from the crowd.

It's has a pretty normal cola flavor with a bit of a burn to it. I didn't realize it at first, but the further I got into the bottle the more I felt it in my gut. I expected it to be a cherry cola from the name. You know a little wacky word play, but nope just straight up cola that has a red coloring to it.

I still don't really know what cola has to do with communism, but hey if it helps our proletariat brothers who am I to argue.

Way back when we restarted this wonderful, award winning website, I found a plethora of Xing Tea at a bodega in a multi-floor mall in Baltimore. I wanted two, but had to buy three since they had some stupid/ridiculous/unlawful minimum credit card rate. My girlfriend went to my parent's house and came back with a bag full of Xing and I was clearly excited. I wanted to start with blueberry and since I do what I want because I'm a man, I did just that. I've also had dreadlocks for a week and a half, got a Smith's chest tattoo, bought two corgi's, and filled a hole in my basement foundation with "Great Stuff" rather than becoming a professional mason and fixing it the right way. These are all examples of things I've done because I can do what I want.

This tea, a newcomer to my list of fallback delicious drinks, is simple magnificent. It's got a great blueberry taste. It's sweet, but it's a great, pure cane sugar taste. Not a whole lot of green tea flavor, but I don't miss it, honestly. If it was swapped with a black tea, I could probably tell, but since the sugar and the blueberry is so sweet, it's overpowered.

If this was on a shelf and I didn't see anything else that I haven't drank, I wouldn't hesitate to buy it. I often feel guilty for buying "old" drinks when I've got shelves of "new" drinks at home that need to be reviewed, but if I find myself riding my bike this summer, come across a store that sells this drink, it will be in my hand as quickly as can be. You have my word, son.

Of all the alt-milks out there, almond milk is by far my favorite. It's smooth and doesn't taste watery or chalky. As far as vegan chocolate milk goes, this is the best. It's super rich and delicious and makes me wish I had Oreos to dip into it. I don't know why I only buy this every few months. When I have it in the fridge it rarely lasts longer than a few days.

Mr. President I appreciate you taking me out to dinner. I even appreciate that you took me to this world-class steak house, even though I'm a vegetarian. Oh don't worry, how could you have known. You're too busy you know with running the free world. What's that? You are also pitching for the New York Yankees now as well? Well sir you have quite the full plate. Color me impressed. How did you ever get that gig? Oh of course you threw the opening pitch of the season and impressed the entire team. Makes sense. I still don't understand why you took me out to diner to begin with, but don't worry about me, I'm sure I'll find something on the menu I can eat. Oh look there's a salad. Oh it's got fruit on it. That's sounds good. You just order a steak and enjoy that. I'll fill up on leafy goodness.
*25 minutes pass and the waiter brings out two glasses*
Well that sure was a long time to get our drink orders. Wait, what? You mean to tell me that this is some fancy upscale modern restaurant where they serve all of their food in a liquid form? Hmm. Oh well, down the hatch. Well as far as liquid salads go this isn't too bad. I mean at least the chef had the good sense now to include the salad dressing. The strange thing is that it's not the vegetables that are throwing me off. They are pretty faint tasting. It's the pears. It's such a strong flavor it takes away from the veggies. Also why did he add sugar to this? I think a nice pureed veggie juice would be much better than this. Okay I was wrong before. This isn't very good. It's pretty gross, but I can assure you that it has be better than that glass of liquefied meat you will soon be drinking. I wish you the best of luck with that and your game against the Red Sox tomorrow Mr. President.

We went camping this weekend for our friend Kevyn's bachelor party. I brought several boxes full of my extra drinks for everyone to enjoy. A lot of aloe drinks were downed. The fun this about aloe is watching people's faces when they drink it for the first time. Even when they know there are chunks in it the look of shock and disgust is always there. It's ridiculous how many people describe the chunks as "feathery." Everyone I've known who's kept trucking and finished a bottle, has loved it by the end and wanted more. Once you get used to the chunks, they become a fun little game. Catching them in your teeth and chewing them after you swallow the liquid is always fun. Our friend Nick had his first aloe experience this weekend, and he powered through that first bottle. By the end of the weekend I think he had drank about six of them himself.

I brought this bottle of Sabila as part of my personal stock. It's pretty great. The chunks are an average size for these types of drinks. What stands out with this brand is that they use actual juice instead of artificial flavoring, and that the sugar added is low on the ingredients list. They let the aloe and the juice speak for themselves. They have a lot to say, believe me.

CalNaturale is better known for their wine that comes in these little cartons. They have fairly recently branched out with their Svelte line. It's a vegan friendly line of nutritional/protein drinks. Their website claims to provide you with "the lasting nutrition and sustained energy you need for your active and busy day." We've had a handful of protein style drinks lately. Most of them have been surprisingly good.

I have proclaimed many times (to the rolling eyes of my girlfriend) that a bowl of cereal in the morning does not count as food for the day. It is simply part of a routine, a crucial part at that. Being that I need my morning cereal (fake Cinnamon Toast Crunch, because I am a child after all) I use a decent amount of soy/almond milk. For a while I always used the vanilla versions to give the cereal a little extra kick. None of the stuff that I had tried had an eighth of the vanilla punch that this little carton does. You get punched right in the uvula by that little vanilla bean. While you're recovering the soy aftertaste sets in. When I first started drinking this carton I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. The further in I got the more I enjoyed it. I guess I just needed to get accustomed to it.

Often and typically, when we Thirsty Dudes go to a grocery store, we skip by the "in house" brand drinks. It's not that they're bad. It's just that they are terribly similar and not too impressive.

Jay and I recently got back from a camping expedition, which many of this week's reviews will probably reference. While taking five from camping, we went to town and stopped at a local supermarket. There, Jay found this white birch beer. I bought it along with marshmallows and Tums for Jay's aching belly and we hit the road. When we got back to the cabin, I cracked that bad boy open, took a sip and pondered while the rest of the team took sips. It had a light birch beer taste off the bat then was followed by a cream soda taste and then at the end was a candy-like root beer taste. Yes, it was sweet. No, it was not naturally sweetened. It was still good at you can find that Sure Fine pretty easily around here. Keep an eye out and give it a shot.

This can came courtesy of my friend Bree from Pittsburgh. On a mission to find weird drinks for me, she came across this at a dollar store. While I love the name of the drink and the art (who doesn't love otters who can play hockey?), most dollar store drinks are that cheap for a reason.

I was surprised that I actually enjoyed it. It's a sparkling juice marketed to kids, and not as sweet as i expected it to be. It's a decent orange taste, with a bitter (almost energy drink like) aftertaste. While it's good for a dollar store drink, it's not something I'd regularly buy.

The only thing, soda wise, I don't like about the Northwest is the lack of birch beer. It's nowhere to be found. Luckily the good folks of Hosmer Mountain sent me this bottle to satisfy my birch beer craving. I have come to love white birch beer more than other varieties of birch beer. It has a much lighter and cleaner taste. I love the 'birch' flavor in this bottle. It's the perfect sweetness and taste. I just found my favorite birch beer.

I'm just going to come out and say it in a public forum. I have a completely non-sexual man-crush on Paul Rudd. He's hysterical and just seems like he's a really rad dude. Also, he apparently loves Lungfish and other DC bands. That gets my approval. One of my favorite roles of his is Jeff from the in-between segments in the movie "The Ten." I bring this up because in that role he's fighting with his ex and they get into an argument over whether he's been taking his fish oil. Exasperated he yells that he's "getting his omega 3 fatty acids through other means." His delivery is absolutely perfect and I erupt into laughter every time I see that part. I can only imagine he's getting those fatty acids through flax seed. If I'm correct I really hope he's drinking said flax seed in this liquid form.

With all of the soda we drink I'm always pleased to get some natural teas to review, but when drinks go into new territories of healthy I will admit I get nervous. The container of flax seed that my roommate keeps in the fridge definitely made me skeptical of this. Let's face it, specialty health drinks for the most part usually aren't the greatest. I anticipated bitter. I anticipated gritty. What I didn't anticipate was a very smooth and sweet tea with a strong mandarin orange flavoring. Pleasant surprises abound! As an added bonus the label design is top notch. I'm very excited to try their other flavors.

Now I just want to watch a Paul Rudd movie. It will probably be Role Models. That never, ever gets old.

Question: Did I just eat a GD apple?
Answer: No, you stupid idiot. You just drank iced tea.

Question: No. Seriously. What is happening to me?
Answer: Well that's a bit vague, don't you think? I did notice that you're getting grays in your beard.

Answer: Yeah, and it's awesome. You can't tell me it's not going to make me look distinguished.
Question: I guess it will, but don't you think that it will make you look older?

Answer: Who cares? I look young anyway. I think I could grow an all gray beard and I would look rad as heck.
Question: Should we address this iced tea more?

Answer: What's to say? It's awesome, not terrible for you, and tastes like a friggin' apple. It might taste more like an actual apple than apple juice.

Here is the latest installment of our recent influx of protein/workout drinks. The point of this drink is to help out in muscle recovery after a workout. This specific formula was designed with three parts carbohydrates to each part protein to help with the muscles.

This is chocolaty. Dark chocolatey with only a little bit chalky texture. Not enough to be problematic. A friend said it tasted like a high end Yoo-Hoo. I can see that, except it's thicker. I should really work out more. Winter has made me lazy. When I finally shake this laziness off I will have to drink these afterward. How hysterical would it be if I got ripped? That would be laughable.

Danny at Real Soda knows how to make a quality frothy beverage. This is a top-notch birch beer with a nice amount of bite to it. For those not familiar with birch beer it is similar to root beer, but with a slightly different twist. It has a woodsier taste to it. The label design leaves something to be desired, but really that doesn't matter when you have a quality soda like this. I wish I had more to say, but I'm off to go see Off! play. Keith Morris here I come.

I drank half of this bottle at work last week. I hadn't finished it by the time I left so I threw it in the fridge when I got home, and planned on finishing it later that night. During the next few hours it got lost in the sea of beverages that my refrigerator has become. It somehow resurfaced this afternoon. I guess the tide must have been low during the hours of 3 to 5.

Like most, if not all, Honest products this is made with organic tea, cane sugar and natural fruit flavor. It's a solid drink. It's a nice bitter green tea with a slight mango flavor. It delivers what it promises. It's true, Honest Tea are no liars.

My sleep habits have been absolutely terrible lately. I blame this stupid cold that I got. It started with me waking up way early for no reason, and being completely awake for a few hours before exhaustion set it. As my sickness progressed I started waking up for periods of time in the middle of the night. Last night it got to the point where I just couldn't sleep. I forgot to pick up some more cold medicine, so I downed this little guy.

I think they forgot to list all of the ingredients on the packaging. I think that because I didn't see Rohypnol listed. If you didn't know Rohypnol is the clinical name for "roofies." I feel like it has to be in there, because I was wide-awake, I drank this bottle, I laid down and the next thing I knew it was 9:30am. This was the most effective "relaxation drink" that I have had yet. I was out pretty much instantly. It's a bit diety and medicinal tasting, but since it's only a shot I can deal with that for the effects it has. It doesn't taste like toxic sludge, but it's not something I would drink due to the taste.

If you're at a bar or party and you see these little bottles lying around don't drink those drinks. No one wants to wake up in a dude bros gross bed, or worse in a tub full of ice with a note that you're kidney has been removed. Beware the dark harvest!