United States - 4098 Reviews

I can safely say that this is the first review for Thirsty Dudes to be written on the Amtrak Empire Builder train. I am currently in the middle of Montana on my way to Chicago for the Chicago Zine Fest. The drink selection on the train is really sparse, but I expected that to be the case. When I saw this lone bottle of Gatorade in the cooler, I decided to buy it because I wasn't in the mood for pop, and I knew we hadn't reviewed it yet.

That pretty much sums up my opinion of all Gatorade flavors. It's nothing I'm ever excited for, but will drink it when there's nothing else. Every time I drink the lemon-lime flavor, I wish it were more tart. It doesn't really quench my thirst (I'd rather drink water), and definitely does not make me want to go play sports.

If there is one thing I've learned during my time on this planet, it is that you should never train a seal for the purposes of magic tricks. If you do so, it will inevitably don a bow tie and bite off your younger brothers hand. Sure he will get some prosthetic hands/claws, but he will spend the rest of his life screaming about how he's a "monster". It seems like the fine folks at Gosling knew that information as well. They kept their seal away from magic and let him balance some balls on his nose like every little seal dreams. I call him Stormy and he's a great little mascot. He also adorns a great looking can of soda.

The drink itself is also impressive. It has a great flavor that hits you right in the nose. Just like Stormy's ball will if you ever annoy him. There is a "ginger burn", but it's not out of control. While I do like the craziest of burns in my ginger beer, I understand that the majority of the public probably does not. The pain is decent, but it fades very quickly. That way it is more acceptable for the masses, unlike a one armed brother who has emotional issues as intense as the fiercest ginger beer.

At first, this was just orange juice. The further down the can I got, the more I hated it. I know, Dad. I shouldn't use the word "hate", but who cares in this case. I'm an adult man now and I can say what I want. We've had our differences, like that time I wore non-prescription glasses to Thanksgiving and we got in that fight and didn't talk for a year. That was awful. Sorry Dad, but this time I'm putting my foot down and saying what I want about this drink. It promptly starts tasting like someone poured orange juice powder in this can and filtered out the actual juice. Did someone just give me roofies? Man, I hope not. I've got stuff to do.

Don't spike my drink, and Lance Armstrong, sorry I don't enjoy what you endorse. Deal with it.

If this drink were the television show My Two Dad's, the black tea would be Paul Reiser and the lemonade would be that other guy. No one remembers the other guys name. He really could have been anyone. I feel the same way about this drink. The tea has a strong memorable flavor while the lemon is forgettable like Greg Evigan (I had to look up his name). This would be a very good lemon tea, but if it ever expects to be a proper co-star the lemonade really needs to step up it's game.

Wait, that show was terrible. This tea is still pretty good. Let's pretend I made this entire analogy about Bosom Buddies instead. Switch Mr Reiser for Tom Hanks and the other guy for.....you know....the other guy.

I have never known a blueberry to be florescent blue, and I've known quite a few in my day. Most notably, I've known Blueberry Johnson. He was a wonderful gentleman who had an idea for a television show for kids called "Blueberry Muffins in the Morning with Blueberry Johnson." It was a great idea, but the executives just couldn't figure out a way for him to host the show, even though he literally looked exactly like a human blueberry. Tragically he ended his life when the show didn't work out for him. It was completely horrible. The important thing is that he was not neon blue, nor was his bodily fluids.

I don't know why there are so many beverages out there that look like windshield washer fluid when the fruits they are meant to taste like are a dark blue. Truth be told, this doesn't taste like blueberries at all. It's lemonade that has been over saturated with sweetener and a little bit of "fruity" flavor. There is no bitterness left at all in this bottle. It's a liquid candy. It has its place in the drink world. I do enjoy the way it tastes, but it's just not what I'm looking for in lemonade.

When we were up at Soda Pop Central on Saturday, this soda pretty much jumped out at me. It was the first soda I saw on the first shelf I looked at. As you can see from this website we are huge fans of the Thomas Kemper line so, any new flavors are always a treat. As an added bonus, both ginger and peach are among my favorite flavors. After being slightly disappointed by the Flying Bison Ginger Soda I was pretty pumped to have Thomas Kemper step up to the plate.

I wanted so badly for this to have an intense ginger burn with a slight hint of peach to it. It turns out that the opposite was true. It's primarily a peach soda with a slight hint of ginger. I actually found myself doing some research to see if "Ginger" was a specific type of peach. The ginger is that low in the mix. I would describe it as a really peachy light ginger ale. They actually use real peach juice, so that flavor is pretty incredible. Even though I was disappointed that the ginger levels didn't meet my expectations, this is still a stand out soda. I just think they should have named it "Peach Ginger" with the current recipe.

Coffee as a fruit? The first thing I (unfortunately) thought of was that monkey poop coffee. Oh, you've never heard of it? Some monkey somewhere eats coffee fruit, poops out the coffee beans, and people go crazy-go-nuts over it. It's the world's most expensive coffee. It comes from a monkey's butt and people clamor over it. Gross. I don't like coffee, or things that come out of butts, but this, luckily for me, is neither. It's pretty fantastic. It's got a sweet Stevia taste, but it really allows the clementine flavor to shine through. It's very fruity and very inviting. It's got a great smell and I could easily drink a straight 40 of this stuff. It goes down really smooth and 16.9 ounces is only 10 calories. This is downright healthy for you and is actually 100% of your daily vitamin C intake.

I hate oranges, but love orange juice. I know it's stupid, but there is just so much work and I've got better things to do than peel an orange all friggin' day.

Amazing. That is the first word that comes to mind when drinking this. Sweetness is perfect, the bite is good but not overwhelming, and it goes down smooth. But yet, it's not a smooth drink, it is kinda heavy but in that good root beer/sarsaparilla way. This is by far my go-to Sarsaparilla. I must have drank a half dozen bottles of these over the past couple months before I realized that I forgot to review it each time. It's just so good. It's hard to stop drinking it.

Dad, I've got a question about something.

Oh, man. Here it comes. I knew it was going to happen some day. I should have prepared for this. Don't they teach you this stuff in school? Why did I stay home from work today? Today of all days! Now I've got this to deal with. I would have been better off with the Johnson report. Alright, here goes...Son, what you saw was not what you think. You see...your mother and I...

Where do blue raspberries come from?

Your mother and I...wait what?

Where do blue raspberries come from? I bought this Calypso lemonade and it's really good, but I don't know where blue raspberries come from. I've seen red raspberries and I think I've seen black raspberries, but I've never seen blue raspberries. I don't think that I've ever seen a blue fruit at all.

Son, that is a very good question. Can I see that drink of yours? Say, this is pretty good. It's lemonade with a little bit of a berry taste to it. It says there are real lemon bits in here, but I don't see any. It's got a nice sting and rounds out nicely on the tongue. This is good stuff. To answer your question, I have no idea what a blue raspberry is or where it comes from. Why don't you ask your mother?

Mom? I've got a question to ask you.

Oh, man. Here it comes. I knew it was going to happen some day...

Ugh. Every time I take a sip it's like punishment. Not that "I know it's good for me so I'll do it" type of punishment. Not that "Oh this mouthwash burns, but I know it's killing germs and preventing me from getting gingivitis" type punishment. It's the "Who crushed all these Sweet Tarts and put them in this already disgusting juice?" type punishment. That's what it tastes like. 15 thousand Sweet Tarts, powderized and thrown into juice. It's supposed to detoxify, but I'd much rather just eat a bunch of celery, or maybe just perform an enema. Seriously, I can't imagine drinking this entire thing.

Here's the sweet thing about this review. Sure, it's gold already, but here's where I step up my own game. Who doesn't love math? This drink was $2.50. It's on the high side, but I figured, how can you mess this up? It's juice. So $2.50. On the label, it states that in order to achieve your intended weight loss goal of upwards of an estimated 15 pounds, you have to drink four drinks per day. Now we're up to $10 per day. Oh honey, don't let it stop there. You are supposed to drink 4 per day for a week. That's seven days. Bringing our grand total up to $70. $70 in juice.

I didn't need to detoxify. What do I have to clean out? Tacos? Please, leave them in there. I love them. Your drink on the other hand...

So, I found myself at the store earlier today, trying to search out a supply of eucalyptus for the family of koalas that have taken refuge in the abandoned apartment above mine. No, don't be silly, I'm not trying to get those cuddly little dudes high. Eucalyptus doesn't affect them like that. It actually has some toxins in it that make them sleep a lot. Believe me, these guys need to sleep. They keep me awake all night blasting old Nickelodeon cartoons about their kind. I tried feeding them Marley's Mellow Mood, but that did nothing. This store doesn't have what I need. I should have found a Whole Foods. All I could find was this honey eucalyptus green tea. It's a little bitter because of the green tea, but the honey sweetens it up a bit. I never knew what eucalyptus tasted like before and I couldn't properly describe it now. Go ask your local koala, if they aren't passed out. Remember to not call them bears though or they will just call you a racist.

Today I spent the day in the studio recording with my band. It was awesome and we had a lot of fun. An added bonus was that we were locked away and we missed the complete annoyance of the St Patrick's Day parade on the streets below. We wrapped up a little while ago and I was walking to my car when I noticed some drunken jerk had completely trashed the side of my car (there was a video camera in the parking lot and the driving was definitely a drunk parade goer). So here I sit, hating drunken idiots even more, waiting for the cops. What better way to pass this time then with a drink review?

Bai is turning out to be a pretty incredible company. They use the fruit of the coffee plant in their drinks for its antioxidant properties. You may expect that to be gross, but it doesn't taste like brewed coffee. It actually tastes like a really fruity tea. This one specifically tastes like tea with butt-loads of fresh peach juice added to it. It's good enough that it's helping me calm down. It is also so good that I didn't even realize that this was the diet version until I was halfway done. Yep, sweetened with erythritol and I didn't even realize. That gives it two thumbs up from me.

Darling, I'm feeling a bit fatigued. Do you see bags under my eyes? Oh, how dreadful. Sweetie, could you fetch me some cucumber slices for my eyes so that I can look my best for the gala tonight? What do you mean that we don't have any sliced cucumbers prepared? Don't you think we should, in case, oh I don't know, I have bags under my eyes? Please, slice up some and fetch me a sparkling water, too, while you're at it. I'm feeling a bit parched.

Oh, thank you very much. Although, next time, slice the cucumbers a bit thicker. It's not like you're paying for them. Actually, it's not like I am either. Husband is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Now go tend to the laundry. Husband was complaining about not having any socks that matched.

Now that I'm alone, I'll just grab this sliced cucumber and put it on my...oh drats. I've dropped my cucumber into my water. No worries. I have more. I like cucumber in regular water, let's try this. Well, this is something special. It's bubbly, and we all know how I love the bubbly. Ha ha ha ha ha. It gets the sweetness from the cucumber as well as the crisp, clean taste. I might be on to something. Oh help. Help, come here please. Could we patent this as a drink? We can't? Why is that? You mean there is a company called Dry that already makes this drink? Well, I applaud their efforts. Now fetch me my black dress. It's time for that gala.

Smells diet, doesn't taste diet. Is that a clear winner? We're going to have to go over to our line judge to determine. John?

Well Mack, can I call you Mack? Anyway, it's a difficult decision to make when it comes to diet drinks. On one hand you've got the taste and on the other you've got the smell.

Mack, that's very true and also very obvious. I hope we don't pay you by the word because everything you said was quite stupid.

Thanks, John.

You're welcome, Mack. So honestly, what did you think of the drink?

Well, John, this tasted just fine. One squirt per eight ounces of water and I was on my way. It definitely would make me drink more water. It's gulp-able. It's got a real high gulp-ability factor.

Gulp-ability...is that a technical term, Mack?

Why yes John, it is. You can drink and know you're not drinking a tea, but you're drinking more than water. It's good and I think that people are really going to gravitate towards this. Dieters or not, this product doesn't scare people away.

You really redeemed yourself with that one, Mack. Thanks for coming down.

Thank you, John.

In the movie Clifford there is this one scene that I just love. Mary Steenbergen is berating Charles Grodin for not liking children. Charles Grodin yells, "I love kids. As a matter of fact I have a nephew I'm very fond of". She asks him his nephew's name and he responds: "I want to say.... Mason. Clifford! Little Clifford!" I can't get that out of my head when I'm drinking this.

This hasn't gotten that good of reviews before, but I really like it a lot. It's very creamy and has almost a caramel flavor to it. Apparently the company that makes Dad's root beer used to make it. This seems like a much better version of Dad's. Way to move backwards. Oh and Clifford is criminally underrated.

What can I say about this? It's True Brew. They make consistently great teas. This is just filtered water and organic green tea. No sugar or sweeteners of any kind added. It's just a nice bitter green tea. Sit down, put your feet up and enjoy one of these yourself. You've earned it.

Today Dan, Tony and myself took a day trip up to Toronto to visit Soda Pop Central, which is the largest soda pop store in Canada. It was incredible we got a little out of control and spent way too much money on way too much pop. Afterward we stopped by Toronto for some veggie dogs from a street vendor (50 Toppings Guy for those in the know) and some other great veggie food.

On the way home we decided to open up this can of ICP "Energy Sauce" as it's called on the can. We had a good laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. It is a self-proclaimed can of "Frothy, Freaky Frosty, Refreshing Energy Freshness Can of Shazam!" How can anyone take that seriously? We drank it down and the laughter fell into a comfortable silence. The other two were staring out their widows while I was looking straight ahead as I drove. After a couple of minutes I hear Tony yell "What the hell!" I look over and he's in full clown face paint! I look to the back seat to get confirmation from Dan that this is in fact happening and he too is all painted up! From the look on their faces I quickly ascertained that I also had face paint on. We then noticed that absolutely terrible hip-hop about beating up rednecks and spreading love to "my ninjas" was playing out of the stereo. It was a truly terrifying experience. We had suddenly become Juggalos! We were in fact "Down with the clown." We tried to scrub it off, but it wouldn't go anywhere. After a couple hours it eventually faded away and Smashing Pumpkins came back on the stereo. Beware to all who want to try this drink. It is more powerful than you would ever expect.

Oh yeah it tastes like Red Bull with way more sugar added. Woot! Woot!

This is on par with the other Mary Anna's teas. It's a pretty sweet black tea with peaches mixed in. The ingredients actually say "peach pieces", but there are unfortunately no chunks in this bottle. I'm assuming they cut up peaches and let them soak in the tea. Then, before bottling, they strained out the chunks. I would have really enjoyed it if they had been kept in there. I don't believe I've ever had a tea with that sort of extra fun added to it.

One thing I don't understand about the Mary Anna's brand is that they love to add lemon juice to all of their teas. I think it's completely unnecessary. I think it even detracts from the great natural taste of the tea and the fruit flavoring. Peach and lemon are just two flavors that fight too much when mixed together.

There are a couple of different versions of "hell" for me. One of them is endlessly reliving St. Patrick's Day 2009. I think that another one would be going to wherever "Margaritaville" is. I got to thinking and then the phrase actually popped into my head. "Margaritaville isn't a place. It's a state of mind.". I actually thought that and then promptly wanted to die.

I don't even know what Margaritaville has to do with this tea. It isn't a company or a subsidiary, or even a line that they carry. Strange. I have no idea why it's there.

This tea is alright. It's a poor tasting, medium quality tea. It's sweetened with cane sugar and has no artificial flavors, but it's not great. It's oddly sweet and strangely lemon'd. No, not Lemon D the drum and bass artist that I could never get my hands on any records by. I don't know what's going on in here, but it's not a good blend of otherwise good ingredients.

Soda pop is supposed to be a delight for children and adults alike. It's supposed to spread joy and wonderment to the masses. It's a sparkling sweetness that is meant to dance the Charleston on your taste buds. What it's not supposed to do is taste like vitamins. That's right, this tastes like a mixture of all natural and Flintstones chewable vitamins that were ground up with a pestle and mortar and poured into a bottle of carbonated sugar water. If Frostie was managed by a member of the Bluth family, they would have surely exclaimed, "I've made a huge mistake", in regards to this soda.