Cane Sugar - 601 Reviews

I don't like oranges. Oh, I like the taste of an orange, but I don't like oranges. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I love orange juice with as much pulp as you can get. Does that make sense? Does it make sense that it drives me crazy when people love pickles but don't like relish? Nope-ahh. I don't care. I have my preferences. There is no iron fist making decisions for me.

This drink has pulp and it's big, too. No wuss pulp for Calypso. I like a drink with some substance. Look, we know where some drinks come from, but you know what hammers it home? Seeing some chunks of the actual fruits that were used still in there. Tune down your filters and leave some goodness in there.

As usual, this drink is good. It's actually two servings and the flavor is really good. I enjoy that it's two servings because I know that I have another round of flavor town when I get home. There is a good strawberry taste with a cheek puckering lemonade taste. Every sip is like a flavor explosion. I can see where it might be too sweet or too fruity for some, but if you want a drink with some flavor, here you go.

When you've got a good company, hold on to it. I don't know how they could do wrong.

Now back to the wonderful chunky world of aloe drinks. I think Sabila may have this game on lock-down. This is my second bottle of their product and both have been more than awesome. It's the use of actual fruit juice and the lower sugar content that have put them in the lead. When something is supposed to be mango flavored, why mess around with chemicals? Sure they may save you a little money, but you'll have an inferior product. Sabila knows this. Their collective mothers didn't raise aloe-loving idiots.

Buy it. Love it. Share it with friends and see how they react to the chunks. It's delicious and fun, just like aloe was meant to be.

Avery. I once dated a girl that lived on Avery. She was nice. She was Italian, and for some reason, she felt like she had some link to the mob. I don't know if it was true, but it certainly never sat right with me. I just thought that she thought that since she was Italian, it was common knowledge. I hope someone comes to see me tomorrow to break my legs for saying that. I won't deny I said it, but I certainly will have a story to tell.

So this girl, Sarah, we didn't date that long, a few months. I was 16 or 17 at the time so I had no idea what a jerk I was going to turn into. Along came Christmas and I bought her a bracelet. Nothing big. I think I got it at a department store for like $20. It was nice, though, thoughtful, at least. I gave it to her and she broke up with me. Why? That's a fun one. She said that her dad got her mom the same bracelet and that she thinks that she meant too much to me so she broke up with me, right on her cousin's porch.

No I'm not regretting anything. I've done a lot of stuff since then and have had a handful of girlfriends, but what if I gave her this root beer?

"Hey, Sarah. I got you this root beer and wrapped it like you wouldn't know what it was. It's named after the street you live on so you can keep it like some cool souvenir if you want. If you don't want to keep it, I understand. Who wants a sticky old bottle? Plus, it's pretty good root beer. Just the right amount of sweetness and flavor to get you through even the hardest days."

Do you think if I gave her that over ten years ago that we'd be together? Probably not, I suck. Seriously. I can't believe I've been in long-term relationships at all. You know what I can believe? I can believe that this root beer is pretty good and I would choose it over a "regular" root beer any day. Barq's? Mug? Supermarket brand? Nope. Avery's? Yep. Just poppin' my "P"'s.

Wow. I can't believe I was able to find one of these. Although I appreciate the wacky word play, I do think that a majority of people would find it in poor taste. Also, no I'm not a Nazi or racist. It's more of something that I would chuckle at the idea of but never expect to see the real thing. In fact when I was DJing the other night three Neo-Nazis came in, and were quickly chased out with bats. Had I not been playing music at the time I would have been helping my friends throw the trash out.

Seriously though the idea is so ridiculous it's pretty funny. The German eagle chugging a bottle of soda = priceless. In German the label says "From the other side of the wall" and "All Clear." Not as funny as the text on the bottle of Leninade, but still amusing.

The soda itself was fairly mediocre. I don't know if it's just in my head but whenever I drink a pop that is normally a different color the flavor just seems weak to me. This just tastes like a weak natural soda. It had no bite to it whatsoever, but it did still have a cola flavor. Not the best, also not the worst. It's a decent tasting novelty.

I've gotten into a bad habit of bringing drinks out with me places and then not wanting to write the reviews. As a result I have maybe eight bottles in my fridge with two sips left. Now I keep hearing the voice of Mike "Lumbergh" Literman in my head repeating over and over "We sorta need to play catch up." When the bossman speaks the drones will listen.

Here at Thirsty Dudes we are big fans of the Calypso line. If you have any interest in lemonade you should be too. They make some of the best flavored lemonades on the market. They were recently kind enough to send us a bunch of samples. We were psyched just to receive them. When I sent Mike a picture message of what they sent his response was "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" To make things better they sent us a sampling of their Teamonade line. I didn't even know these existed. They are basically a version of an Arnold Palmer with additional fruit flavoring. On an average day half and halfs are always incredible, when you throw some peach into this mix it's pretty out of this world. Calypso didn't cheap out on the peach flavoring either. For that they will get one thousand hi-fives.

Now I just need to remember to fill out my TPS reports.

For years there has been a secret tryst going on between Mr. Ginger Beer and Ms. Ginger Ale. It was a fiery romance to say the least. Even though they came from similar backgrounds the differences were just too much and it drove them apart. The last time the two tried to work it out they took a trip to Goose Island. They got a nice little bungalow on the beach and had one last spicy weekend romp. Unbeknown to them at the time a miracle occurred. A child was conceived, a child that, once born, brought the world together. It was neither a beer nor ale. It was simply a soda. It got its flavor from its mother's side and a little bit of fiery temper from his father. He was loved the world over and soon rose to the role of leader of the free world. If you turn on your television now you will see him giving a speech that will end all discrimination, unlike my cat who is a racist.

I don't like strip clubs. I've been to two in my lifetime and I'm fine with that. I like to look at girls as much as the next dude, but something about looking at one with other people seems creepy. You can't touch them so all you can do is look. Seems pointless. You can see the same thing in a Sears ad every weekend. Seriously, you can. It's really not a big deal. Dudes go and drop thousands of dollars and for what? To think that some girl likes you because you had money before you rudely threw it at her? There in an infinite amount of things I would rather do than go to a lunch buffet at a strip club. Burger King, for one. Honestly, do you know what would make a Whopper more awesome? Not much, I know, but this tea can't hurt. It's not like it has complimentary flavors or ingredients, it's just really good. You taste the plums right off the bat. Second comes pomegranate, all while being mixed in a nicely brewed green tea.

I really like Tazo because they not only use natural ingredients, but they clearly have fun. Seriously?
Brambleberry? Made up, but it's interesting. Thank you, Tazo, for the taste voyage you put me on and we've got a long ways to go before we're to the end of your street.

Dudes, if you're at a strip club and you're reading this; go home to your wife and kids. If you would spend more time with your possibly attractive wife and kids, you might all get along more than you know. Plus, your wife will let you touch her hogans so that's already a plus one for the "family man".

Ladies, gentlemen, councilmen, Mr. President, your highness, or whoever it is that makes any sort of decision for the country of Austria. We have a dilemma on our hands. Our country has found itself without a national drink. Yes general I know we consume way more Coca-Cola than we really should, but let's face it Coke is everywhere. There's really nothing about it that shouts Austria. No headmaster. Bundaberg Ginger Beer simply will not work, as it's made in Australia, not Austria. Do you even know what country you live in? Seriously. We need something unique. Something that people can't get in any little market over in Germany. I'm sick of them stealing the spotlight. I want to have something that will make us shine brighter! Hey, what was it that Archduke Ferdinand was always drinking before his untimely demise? Alma matter? Alms to the poor? No, that's not it. Oh yes Almdudler! All in Favor? Anyone opposed? There we have it from here on our Almdudler will now be the national drink of Austria!

When you're dealing with a beverage that makes a claim of being the national drink of anything you get some crazy ideas of what it might taste like. Especially when it's called "Krauterlimonade," which my friend Nina says translates to "cabbage lemonade." I really don't know what I expected it to taste like. So many different ideas entered my mind. Not many of them seemed appealing. After I drank it I did some research and found out that Nina would have been correct in her translation if it weren't for that little "er." Those two little letters change the definition to "small-timer." I still don't know what that has to do with this drink.

As the drink first hit my taste buds I thought it was going to be a ginger ale, but that thought quickly faded. I thought I detected some apple, like in an apple malt soda, but I wasn't exactly sure. As the previously mentioned Nina put it "This tastes like nothing more than water does." It tastes sweet, but the sweetness passes soon. I Wikied it to discover that it's a mix of apple and grape flavors. If that's what it is then Austria has some pretty weak fruit on its hands.

The fact that it doesn't really taste like much of anything is actually extremely appealing. I've just about finished this bottle, and I already find myself bummed that I don't have any more after this. It's something that I really, really enjoy. On top of the strange awesome lack of flavor this also has a nice unique bottle.

For years Arizona has run the tallboy can of tea game. They were fairly unchallenged. Peace Tea was a contender, but their drinks always left something to be desired. Xing Tea has now officially issued a challenge to Arizona. Just like in Mike Tyson's Punch Out you can't just come right out and fight the champ. You have to fight your way up the ranks. In the first two fights Xing held it's own. In all honesty when you're fighting the Glass Joe and Von Kaiser of iced teas you really don't need to put up much of a fight to get them down. In the third fight Xing's sweet tea went up against iced tea's version of Piston Honda. It was a long, drawn out fight but it ended with a TKO in favor of Xing when it noticed his eyebrow movements. After that Xing really started to shine. It plowed its way through its opponents, even beating that annoying fat slob King Hippo. He definitely would be some sort of ghetto tea that's over-saturated with high fructose corn syrup.

Finally we are at the here and now. Xing is going to be battling against Great Tiger. I always hated that guy. He was always a thorn in my side via video game boxing. Xing has trained well and has put forth its best mango effort for this match. This is a smart tea. It's really sweet, but you can tell by taste and consistency that it's cane sugar sweet. It tastes like a summer sweet tea made with green tea instead of black. The mango flavor is attentive. It's knows when to hit Great Tiger's jewel with it's bite and when to hold back and block his teleportation attack. It's these great moves that helped Xing win this battle as well.

Xing still has a long way to the title fight, but if it keeps making the moves it's been making, it will be going toe to toe with Arizona Black & White in no time.

The great argument of what the greatest sketch comedy of all time is. Many would say Saturday Night Live. While I think it has its high points, it's never really held my attention much as a whole. There have been too many mediocre to bad seasons and cast members. For me it's a toss up between The State and Kids in the Hall. No matter how many times I watch the handful of seasons that each troupe had I always end up hysterically laughing. Those who say Mad TV, well they should just be institutionalized. That is one of the least funny shows to ever be produced.

You may be asking yourself "Self, what does sketch comedy have to do with guava juice?" The answer is that parrots remind me of the Kids in the Hall skit where Mark McKinney is a beaten down husband. His wife, played by Dave Foley, is about to leave for the day and is giving him instructions. He only answers with "Yes dear," which is then echoed by their pet parrot. In the end it seems that the parrot has more say than him and he suffers a break down. With each sip I took I heard the parrot say, "Yes dear" in my inner monologue. I say, "Yes dear" indeed. This is a nice juice. Things that come in large cans tend to be fairly cheap and chock full of cheap sweeteners and artificial flavors. This is actually made with real juice and cane sugar. It may only be 30% juice, but that is more than I would have expected it to contain. I love the way guava tastes. It's a fruit that I think the world needs to reexamine and use more.

Mr. President I appreciate you taking me out to dinner. I even appreciate that you took me to this world-class steak house, even though I'm a vegetarian. Oh don't worry, how could you have known. You're too busy you know with running the free world. What's that? You are also pitching for the New York Yankees now as well? Well sir you have quite the full plate. Color me impressed. How did you ever get that gig? Oh of course you threw the opening pitch of the season and impressed the entire team. Makes sense. I still don't understand why you took me out to diner to begin with, but don't worry about me, I'm sure I'll find something on the menu I can eat. Oh look there's a salad. Oh it's got fruit on it. That's sounds good. You just order a steak and enjoy that. I'll fill up on leafy goodness.
*25 minutes pass and the waiter brings out two glasses*
Well that sure was a long time to get our drink orders. Wait, what? You mean to tell me that this is some fancy upscale modern restaurant where they serve all of their food in a liquid form? Hmm. Oh well, down the hatch. Well as far as liquid salads go this isn't too bad. I mean at least the chef had the good sense now to include the salad dressing. The strange thing is that it's not the vegetables that are throwing me off. They are pretty faint tasting. It's the pears. It's such a strong flavor it takes away from the veggies. Also why did he add sugar to this? I think a nice pureed veggie juice would be much better than this. Okay I was wrong before. This isn't very good. It's pretty gross, but I can assure you that it has be better than that glass of liquefied meat you will soon be drinking. I wish you the best of luck with that and your game against the Red Sox tomorrow Mr. President.

I've got it.

What's that?

I've made a cashew juice.

You can't juice cashews, idiot.

Woah. First thing, I'm a scientist so I am most certainly not an idiot. Secondly you are the idiot because cashews grow from a fruit. Here try it.

Ugh, it smells like puke.

Just try it.

It's hard to get past the smell but it's...alright. It's smooth and obviously nutty. It almost tastes like a light mango juice if it was filtered through a can of Planters peanuts.

Yeah? Awesome, right?

No, not really. It's a good try, and I've learned something, but I really don't see myself drinking this, regardless of it's supposed health benefits. So long as I don't smell it, it's alright, but the thought of drinking nuts doesn't really appeal to me.

Stop being such a scardy cat and/or wuss.

Yeah? Stop inventing strange and gross drinks.

We went camping this weekend for our friend Kevyn's bachelor party. I brought several boxes full of my extra drinks for everyone to enjoy. A lot of aloe drinks were downed. The fun this about aloe is watching people's faces when they drink it for the first time. Even when they know there are chunks in it the look of shock and disgust is always there. It's ridiculous how many people describe the chunks as "feathery." Everyone I've known who's kept trucking and finished a bottle, has loved it by the end and wanted more. Once you get used to the chunks, they become a fun little game. Catching them in your teeth and chewing them after you swallow the liquid is always fun. Our friend Nick had his first aloe experience this weekend, and he powered through that first bottle. By the end of the weekend I think he had drank about six of them himself.

I brought this bottle of Sabila as part of my personal stock. It's pretty great. The chunks are an average size for these types of drinks. What stands out with this brand is that they use actual juice instead of artificial flavoring, and that the sugar added is low on the ingredients list. They let the aloe and the juice speak for themselves. They have a lot to say, believe me.

The only thing, soda wise, I don't like about the Northwest is the lack of birch beer. It's nowhere to be found. Luckily the good folks of Hosmer Mountain sent me this bottle to satisfy my birch beer craving. I have come to love white birch beer more than other varieties of birch beer. It has a much lighter and cleaner taste. I love the 'birch' flavor in this bottle. It's the perfect sweetness and taste. I just found my favorite birch beer.

Question: Did I just eat a GD apple?
Answer: No, you stupid idiot. You just drank iced tea.

Question: No. Seriously. What is happening to me?
Answer: Well that's a bit vague, don't you think? I did notice that you're getting grays in your beard.

Answer: Yeah, and it's awesome. You can't tell me it's not going to make me look distinguished.
Question: I guess it will, but don't you think that it will make you look older?

Answer: Who cares? I look young anyway. I think I could grow an all gray beard and I would look rad as heck.
Question: Should we address this iced tea more?

Answer: What's to say? It's awesome, not terrible for you, and tastes like a friggin' apple. It might taste more like an actual apple than apple juice.

Danny at Real Soda knows how to make a quality frothy beverage. This is a top-notch birch beer with a nice amount of bite to it. For those not familiar with birch beer it is similar to root beer, but with a slightly different twist. It has a woodsier taste to it. The label design leaves something to be desired, but really that doesn't matter when you have a quality soda like this. I wish I had more to say, but I'm off to go see Off! play. Keith Morris here I come.

Half and half, huh? Half and half of what, I ask you? White? What's white? Mountain Dew White Out, albinos, white chalk? What is this? It tastes like a lemon, lime, grapefruit mixture, but with "natural and artificial" flavors as the ingredient. What's a boy to think? It's sweet and so sour. Like eating a lemon and a lime in hopes that the combination will just magically/stupidly create 7Up. If you haven't done it already, don't bother. It doesn't work. What is this?! It's good, but it is strange. There are little, sour tweaks that make it feel like you're taking a drill bit to your jawbone. No, not your pompous bluetooth headset. I'm talking about your actual, physical jawbone. It's like someone took 7Up, Squirt, and a handful of Smartie powder and called it a drink.

If you're in New Hampshire, find it. It's a strange guy and a stranger named company.

Today a bunch of us met up at a friend's house to get some plans made for a trip to Hawaii we're taking next month. We were surprisingly productive and got a nice little outline of an itinerary put together. We are insanely cheesy, so we ordered Hawaiian pizza and had some of this soda. It's actually made right on the island of Hawaii that we're going to be visiting. Now that's pretty rad. I was wondering if I would be able to find any new drinks for Thirsty Dudes on that trip. I didn't realize this was from Kauai until I read the bottle today. I'm sure I'm going to be able to grab some other rad flavors there.

Let's start with the scent of this. It smells like a melted freezie pop. I feel like I use that analogy a lot on here, but it's something I can't escape. The flavor is similar to the smell, but it's not harsh at all. I can't say that for freezie pops. When those things warm up they are like sulfuric acid on your throat. This has a general sweet tropical flavor to it. There's a little mango in there, but I had expected more from it. I still enjoyed it and it went well with my pizza. What doesn't go well with pizza though?

Sometimes times are hard. Money is tight. Your kid keeps crying. Your car gets a flat tire. You break your arm and don't have health insurance. The list goes on. Times like these make people turn to drinking. Hey, no need to reach for the hard stuff. Sometimes you just need a killer root beer. Everyone can agree, except for the Japanese, that root beer is pretty great. It accompanies most meals and is perfect for warm and cold weather. BBQ? Root beer. Carnival? Root beer. Funeral. Root beer? Sure. You can drink root beer at my funeral.

This root beer has enough bite that it's approachable for everyone and it's got a nice, cane sugar taste. All of Sioux City's "root" drinks are great and I would recommend them for everyone, including the Japanese, because they're people, too.

This is another member of the Skeleteen's line. I only vaguely remember this one from my high school days. It has the "classic" Skeleteen's tag lines on it. "Third time available in 399 years," "From Black's last raid," and "Drink up you scurry dog!"

Blood Red Cola = Cherry Cola with a pirates twist. The twist is really just the image and not much to do with the flavor (although it does have Brazilian guarana in it). It's a decent cherry cola. There's really nothing that stands out in it, but it's still very enjoyable.

With the popularity of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies a few years ago, I'm kind of shocked these didn't become more popular. I think people would have eaten it up during the whole pirate craze. You know, all of the terrible "dad jokes" that were going around about the sea dogs. Remember kids, dressing like a pirate never looks cool. Don't ever do it, even on Halloween. Don't disrespect the pirates in that way. Just drink the soda. Celebrate their life and times that way.