Cane Sugar - 601 Reviews

2014 is winding down, and if someone were to ask me as a professional imbiber of beverages to sum up the year I would have to say that these 365 days have been all about low/zero calorie sparkling waters. The past couple years have been owned by fake Vitamin Water, but man sparkling water is everywhere this year.

While I may not be the biggest fan of these drinks, I do appreciate their growth and that humans are taking more interest in what they ingest, particularly their sugar intake. Americans drink far too much soda, diet or not it's just too much. Since I've cut most of it out of my diet (minus reviews) I feel better and I dropped pounds pretty quickly. Now a lot of these sparkling water companies are just dumping some sucralose into flavored water and calling it a day, and their lack of effort is very noticeable. Skinny Girl (I still hate the name) takes things a bit further. They use fruit juice (albeit from concentrate), sweeten it with honey, cane sugar and sucralose (culminating in only 2g of sugar per bottle) and then add some vitamins and super fruits so your body is actually getting something beneficial from this drink. That's right they have combined the former champion with the reigning one, and they mingle oh so well.

This is made with grapefruit juice and it tastes like it. It's not an overly strong taste, but it's stronger than if you just left some grapefruit soak in water. It has a bit of a diet taste to it, but it's not bad at all. Arizona it's hard to stay mad at you for your dumb brand name, when you make it taste so good. Who needs garbage grapefruit pop that doesn't even taste like fruit when this is available with only the slightest fraction of calories?

If I can borrow a line from the TV show "Review," Andrew Daly says, "Life. It's literally all we've got." Is that the case with Coke Life? It could be if you kind of like diet pop. Someone asked me what this was all about and I said, "It's a half diet pop.” It's like someone went halvsies on a Coke and a Diet Coke. That's almost how it tastes. Actually, it tastes more like a Mexican Coke and a Zevia cola were mixed together, since it's sweetened with both cane sugar and stevia.

At first you can get some of the stevia at the tail end of sips but after you start to drink it like it's not the last thing you'll ever drink, you lose some of that and it starts to blend together and taste like a slightly diet cola. At half the calories and half the diet taste, it's not a bad payoff. I have another one in the fridge and I will break it out sooner than later because it was good. We'll see how Pepsi True does whenever we can get our hands on that.

Growing up in the suburbs of Missouri there were two things that Little Jimmy hated more than anything. The first was hearing the different ways that people pronounced his state's name. It was completely infuriating to him that people cared so much to argue about it, especially since they all lived in the same state anyways. The second was that soda pop never really tasted like the flavors they claimed to be. Cherry? Orange? Grape? Those are fruits that have very specific flavors and the sodas that companies like Crush were putting out simply did not resemble those flavors, except in the most rudimentary way.

Once Jimmy was old enough to properly work with lab equipment and kitchen ware he went about creating his own sodas for him to enjoy. His carbonated refreshments were dead on with their flavors. He made sure the cherry tastes like cherry the orange like orange, and of course the grape like grape and not a syrupy mess. Once he had perfected the fruit flavors, he moved on to a bigger fish. The soda shoppe in his town served a caramel cream soda that was just awful. People loved it, but Jimmy had more refined tastes, and it tasted nothing like the caramel candies he would get from the five and dime. It just tasted like overly sweet, overly burnt sugar. A dumb description I know, but Jimmy is in fact a child.

I don't know exactly what Jimmy did to perfect his soda, but he spent weeks locked up in his house working at all hours that his mom didn't make him go to sleep or school. The final result ended up being a soda that did in fact taste exactly like a liquid version of caramel candy. It was creepy how much it tasted like it, with just the smallest cream soda undertone.

Jimmy never really drank more than that one bottle he originally made, because he quickly realized that it's not a flavor that he wanted to have in soda form. He loved the candy and would chew it all the time, but it was just too much as a soda. So he moved onto bigger and better flavors.

Let me start off by saying that I hate the name of this company/line. I'm not a fan when any product (with the exception of feminine care products) is marketed towards one gender. I know just as many males who are concerned about their weight as females. Also, the whole “skinny” thing is a bit demeaning. Skinny people are fine, but so are bigger people, as long as they are happy and healthy. Perhaps someone with a bit more weight on them isn't trying to lose weight, but just likes the tastes of these drinks; does their comfort in their weight keep them from enjoying this?

I'm fairly certain that Arizona (this product's parent company) didn't mean anything by what they did. It's a diet drink and for most people diet means skinny. It's one of those situations in which someone can be offense without knowing/meaning it. Since I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, I will say some nice things about this.

First off, this bottle feels great. It feels like the plastic version of matte paper. It's not glossy and smooth. It has a slight texture to it that just feels great when I hold it. If you see this in a store, just pick it up. I don't know why more companies don't go for this kind of label.

Secondly, and more importantly, this is the best tasting sparkling water I have ever tried. Even though there is sucralose in here it doesn't have that overly diet gross flavor that normally accompanies such a sweetener. It could be because there is also cane sugar in the mix, but more than likely it's because fruit juice was used in here and not garbage artificial flavoring. It really tastes like a light version of mango and orange. I feel like in most of these styles of beverages the flavor is more of an afterthought and it takes a back seat to the taste of the zero calorie sweeteners. Skinny Girl (ugh) made flavor their priority. As a result this isn't a zero calorie drink, but they did get it down to 10 per bottle and only 2g of sugar. Those are quantities I can deal with if it means a better flavor.

It's been many a moon since I've had a good cola. Can I say any different today? Eh. This tastes like a good corn syrup Coke but not as good as a cane sugar Coke. How? There is a strange fruitiness to the cola that I am not particularly fond of. The cola taste is fine but the aftertaste of whatever is in there is a bit bitter and thereby distracting to the actual taste of the cola. Since I have to judge based on the whole of the flavor, this might just be "another cola." It's a bummer because I wanted this to be a nice, dark cola. Instead, it's just kind of there in the median; another purgatory pop for you.

"Does it taste like an old woman?" I said to my mom as she tried this drink. She answered with a confident "No." Look, sometimes lychee tastes like old women and that's fine because old women need love, too. This drink tastes like sparkling limeade but you honestly don't get much of a lychee taste. This drink grabbed my interest because of that fact that did a great job designing the can and the flavor sounded great. You know what? It was great. Everyone who tried it liked it. My dad did not try it because I'm pretty sure my dad only eats chicken. I saw him eat a burrito the other day and it might have been his first one. Strange considering I'm his son. Or am I? Something to think about.

Anyhow the drink is honestly good. It's got a nice, tart limeade taste and the "sparkles" make all the difference in the world. The strawberry gives it an extra sweetness that you can't get from just adding sugar. The lychee, eh, we'll let it slide. I'm still giving it four out of five regardless of the ingredient that might be too faint to mention. That's saying a lot.

Men can drink Skinny Girl, too, right? I mean, calling something "Skinny Girl" is no different that calling your company "Skinny Cow," right? It's not like only cows can eat their own brand of diet ice cream. I would actually enjoy seeing a cow eat an ice cream cone. I think that tongue could do some damage. I love ice cream but I think if there was a race between myself and a cow at who could eat ice cream the fastest, the cow would win. That being said, I do not think that I want to see a cow with an ice cream headache.

Likewise, I don't think that I would like to see the lovely and talented Miss Bethenny Frankel get an ice cream headache but I feel that she and I would be a way more balanced race of "who can eat ice cream the fastest." Just to people eating ice cream fast in a competitive fashion. It's the American way.

This drink has nothing to do with ice cream but it does have everything to do with being a good tasting diet drink. It's made by, or in partnership with, Arizona which I did not know. Whoever is behind this, they should know that they did good work. It has a good tart flavor with some fruit kicks in there. It's sparkling but not like a seltzer, just like a sweetened carbonated juice drink. I shared it with "the new girl" at she thought the same thing. We agree. It's good.

Ultimately this is tangerine flavored sugar water. Yes, I know that most beverages these days could be simplified down to sugar water, but this is really just water, sugar, natural and artificial tangerine flavor, and a whole mess of unnecessary stuff. It really tastes like it's the base for a soda that they forgot to add bubbles to. I'm sure there is a place and a market for this, but I'm not sure what it is; probably kids with no discerning taste.

One thing I have learned about people from Mexico based on the beverages I have sampled from there is that they really like things to be sweet; far too sweet for my current tastes. I guess the same could be said for a lot of the beverages that come out of the US though.

Jim, the reason we brought you here is actually for an intervention, not for a pie eating competition. It was the only thing we could think of to get you out here. Jim, we're worried about you. We've known for a long time about what you've been up to and it's time that we, your friends and family, talk to you about the way that it makes us feel. Jim...I'm just going to come out and say this. We don't think that it's right that you eat candles. I'm sorry but as your friend and the best man in your wedding, I feel someone has to tell you that it's just not right, man.

What do you mean that you don't eat candles? Your breath smells like candles all the time. We see you during the day and night and your breath smells like candles. How do you explain that? You what? You don't eat candles? Well what could it be, Jim? Pop? What do you mean it's pop? Yeah, go out to your car and grab some. Tom? Tom. Watch Jim to make sure he doesn't leave. He's going out to his car to get some pop.

This is it? This is what smells like candles? Let me have a little sip of this. Oh. Oh. Jim. You drink this? It tastes like a peach candle. It smells like shopping at the mall in a store next to the candle shop. This drink tastes like carbonated peach wax teeth. Jim, I'm sorry. I think I speak on behalf of everyone in this room when I say that we're sorry to have brought you out here. You can leave, man. What? Was that? No, I'm sorry. It just sounded like you asked me if I was going to finish that candle over there. Jim. Did you just ask if you could eat the rest of this candle? Where are you going? Jim. You put those votives back in the bag, Jim. You get back here. Don't you walk out this door. Tom?! Where are you? You're letting him leave with four candlesticks in his back pockets, Tom!

Ben, I told you I have no idea what you are talking about. To the best of my knowledge I have never seen a cartoon, an adertisement, a drawing, or even graphitti of a hippo wearing an orange tutu dancing around with a sceptor like a little princess. I think you've spent too much time working with those chemicals down at the plant. I mean that's pretty creative, but don't get mad at me when I have no idea what you're talking about and it's more than likely something you made up in your head. What made you think of that anyways? Oh you had a bottle of peach pop that was called Hippo Size. Well, I guess that makes sense. So how was it? Oh that's too bad. It's always a bummer when you get your hopes up and visions of ballerina hippos and then what you are delivered is just a sweet generic tasting soda with a splash of flavor that tastes like candy and not fruit. I'm always shocked when companies make the effort to include cane sugar, but then put out a less than mediocre product. You know what? I'm not surprised that you were daydreaming. You need something to raise your spirits after a disappointment like that.

I have this labeled as a juice, but the truth of the matter is that I don't know if there is even a single drop of fruit juice in this bottle. It is water, sugar, a bunch of things that have no business being in foodstuffs, and natural and artificial pineapple flavor. I'm so used to having “orange drink” around here that I never considered that other countries might have different flavors of sugar water that they pass off as juice.

This just tastes like someone let a pineapple soda go flat and then poured a tiny bit of water into it. There is no harshness to the flavor like many pineapple drinks have. I can't tell if it actually tastes like pineapple or if the flavor I'm experiencing is just what companies pass off as pineapple. Either way, I have no need for this in my life, and I'm pretty sure not many people do. If it's a cultural thing I understand. If not I just don't get it.

Jerry, I know you want everything but you can't have it. You're turning into a spoiled brat and we don't want to start you off on the wrong path. We want you to be a good kid. You don't see me getting everything I want. If I got everything I wanted, I wouldn't feel like I had to work for everything or work so hard. I learned early off that it was important to not want as much. It was important to set goals that I had to work for. Hard work pays off and if you get everything you want you will get lazy and dependent. I want you to be able to take care of yourself and if your mom and dad give you everything you want, you will just assume that you will always get everything you want and we can't have that. I am putting my foot down on this and I am saying that you cannot get what you want this time. I wish I could get what I wanted. Hold on your father is coming.

What's that honey? Oh, thank you. What is this? Iced coffee? Oh, thank you. Oh, it's almond milk, too. That's good; it will keep the calories down. Your father knows that I am on a diet. What else is in this? Oh, dark chocolate. Huh? This...this is everything I would want in a drink. Hold on a second Jerry. I want to try this. Oh. Oh wow. It's pretty good. It tastes like coffee; like it should but it also taste like there is some bitter dark chocolate in there. I can taste the almond milk, too. Wow. This is great. This is everything I would like in a drink. Thank you honey.

Now Jerry, what was I saying? You can't have everything you want but since your dad gave me everything I wanted right here in this one drink, I guess it will be alright for you to have this one thing this once. Don't let it get to your head and don't think that you can have everything now. Just this one thing. No one likes a brat.

As I review this, I am in Long Island. I am drinking Long Island Iced Tea in Long Island. This, as if it needs to be said, is non-alcoholic. It is just iced tea. It is a sweetened iced tea but there isn't much "tea" flavor. It isn't bad but it's just kind of sweetened stuff. If Nestea was better, it would be this. It's not fantastic and it doesn't taste like a sweet tea with lemon. It tastes like a general "iced tea" made with real sugar and with lemon flavor. I would say "nothing to write about" but writing about drinks is kind of what I do. Long Island...you never cease to bore me.

Fun fact: The Something Natural Company is entirely run by birds. I'm not talking in British slang here; I mean honest to goodness hollow boned, feathered creatures of the sky. The entire reason that these beverages are natural is that the employees don't have the thumbs needed to process…€¦..okay this is just dumb. I think that by insinuating that birds run a company, my idea tank is officially running low. Ignore the birds. There are simply birds on the various labels the company has used in the past. They are nice looking birds, but they are not producing any sort of beverage, well maybe birds nest.

This is a fairly dry beverage, although they do use cane sugar as well as stevia in its production. Even with both of those sweeteners there are only 7g of sugar in this bottle. Not too shabby. The strawberry and peach flavors are both decently strong without being very sweet. That is a nice trick that I'm sure the magicians at the company will reveal the secrets of. At the end of the day this is labeled a sparkling water, but if you called it soda pop and gave it to kids they wouldn't know the difference and it would be much healthier for them. If they put up a fuss, steal my bird lie and they will love it.

Today is Halloween in in order to celebrate its arrival I've been watching far too many horror movies all month. Actually, I keep telling myself it's because of the season but in reality I am always watching horror movies. Seriously, I think I have a problem. The funny thing about today being Halloween and all is that I decided to celebrate at work with this bottle of Sider Venom soda and by watching the Mel Brooks gem Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Perhaps I had burned myself out, or maybe it's because I like to laugh at dumb-funny movies. Whatever the reason, I simply don't care and it made the work day fly by.

Another thing that flew by was this soda. I drank it way faster than I meant to. It was delicious and I have little self-control. This is the season for gluttony, right? The cola flavor in this soda is pretty much lost behind the veil of wonderful cherry. It's not like a candied cherry as the flavor comes from the extract of dark sweet cherry and not some artificial garbage. I could have used a stronger cola, and if that had been the case this might have been a near perfect pop. Wasn't that the name of your band in high school? Near Perfect Pop?

This soda would have been great during any season, but the spooookkkyyyy label made it a perfect addition to my day. I can also pretend that this is what the spiders that Renfield ate in the movie tasted like. Man, he would have been one lucky servant if that was the case.

Apple juice: One of the hardest things to review. Why? It really tastes so similar it's like splitting hairs. It's the same with orange juice. It's hard. Also, before you ask, the answer is "Yes." Yes, we know the difference between "hard work" and "hard to review juice." We're aware of our place in this world, alright?

This is apple juice. The difference is that this has sugar in it. Most apple juices are straight apple juice. I do not know why Chaparritas decided to add sugar and honestly, it doesn't change the taste at all. If they would have used a different sweetener like corn syrup it probably would have made it strange and thick but since they used natural, cane sugar, it probably closely mimics that of the sugar that comes from apples.

Sugar? No sugar? At the end of the day you've got a nice, petite glass of apple juice.

The power of the moose compels you. The moose compels you to drink a soda flavor that you would normally overlook. The moose is not sure if either black cherry or lemon lime is the worst of the classic soda flavors. The moose doesn't care. It could be any flavor, and if the moose is on the label you drink it. As it turns out the moose is very wise and doesn't appear on just any label. It knew that I couldn't care less about black cherry soda, so it strolled up to that digitally created stream to stand in a picturesque pose, just knowing that it would get my attention. The moose was right; not only that its presence would get me to drink this soda, but also that this is above and beyond a standard black cherry. The main reason is that cherry juice is actually present in this beverage albeit in a concentrated form. It's more than other companies deliver and it gives a normally bland flavor the kick it needs to make it truly enjoyable. It's still tastes like black cherry, but how it should taste and not articifial. Since it's kettle brewed it also has a bit of the standard flavor that goes along with that. It's vaguely smoky and a little metaly.

I was waiting for Mike to get around to reviewing this, but then the moose came to me and told me to partake. When a silhouette of a moose talks to you, you listen.

I don't really know why that I am shocked that I like this, but I am. It just sounds like something that would be terrible. Whenever companies try to grasp outside of their safe zone, I am always very skeptical. For some reason with this line I expect the results to be less than stellar, even though I have had several other flavors that I have enjoyed. Each time I expect my mouth to be greeted with a gush of grossness. You can just tell looking at this that it has a zero calorie sweetener in it somewhere. The thing is that the stevia mixed with the cane sugar works in here. It has a bit of a diet taste to it, but the actual berry flavoring is much stronger, and that is all that you can ask for.

I think the saving grace for Glaceau is that they went for their own thing. They didn't take a classic energy drink and try to mix it with their pre-existing products. They took what they were good at and added green coffee bean extract an B vitamins to give it a little energy push. There's no chemical garbage in here, and as a result it just tastes like a carbonated Vitamin Water. It may not give you the crazy rush as other products do, but you can feel better about drinking it, and really when in your life did you actually need the shot to your heart that the other players give? To me it just seems like overkill.

I'm glad that I have continuously been wrong about the Vitamin Water Energy line. It's nice to be surprised in a positive way.

I don't travel anywhere near as much as Jay. Jay has been to all the continental US states as well as Hawaii. I can't imagine traveling that much, mostly because I don't really go a lot of places. One thing I also don't do is specifically travel. "I'm going to go to London and see the Salford Lads' Club." is nothing that I've done. I like going places with people I know and let them tour guide me. If I set a destination, say, Wyoming and made a point to go to the Grand Teton national park and then bought this, I wouldn't be disappointed, but I would be left with questions like, "Why did I come here again?"

It's not that this is bad but it's very basic. Yes it tastes good and it was made with real sugar and it's sweet but what it isn't is "remarkable." Now I know that it's audacious to expect "remarkable" every time but from me to you, you can get "this" cream soda almost anywhere. Maybe cream soda is one of those flavors that you make once, everyone accepts it and moves onto more important things in life. I'm not complaining. I'm just leaving you some of my mental thoughts while I drink something for the first time that I've drank a hundred times before.

If Old Faithful spewed something other than water, it would be more amazing than it already is, right? If it spewed something like pastrami sandwiches, that would be awesome. Legos? Wicked. Pez? Even better. If it spit this out, though...not so fantastic. It would be cool at first but then people would say things like, "What is this? Diet?" to which the manager of the park would say, "No, sir or madame. It is not diet. Sorry for the ambiguity but I can't tell which sex you are with that giant hat on."

This would decrease the attendance at the park since it would be spewing not-fantastic ginger ale. I mean, it's not every day that a geyser spews out something other than water but the argument would always be, "Yeah, but it's not good ginger ale." It's got a decent ginger taste and a light burn which is on the better side of ginger ales but something in it tastes diet-y and that's not good. It was was diet, it would be fine. It's not but it tastes like it is which unfortunately loses points.

Old Faithful, sir, I will see you someday perhaps. When I come, I will let you know that I'm coming so you can prepare your finest Gak or Floam or other 90's Nickelodeon kids product.