Canada Dry, makers of the top-secret model of a ginger ale, now makes regular pop. That's pretty great, right? Sure. They're going against the "big guys" and making pop. Do they do it well? Meh. Yeah, you heard me. I gave it a "shaky hand" review. Black cherry is a rough pop and it is a lot harder to have a great black cherry than it is, say, a cola. This has a bit of a numbing feeling behind it like you would get from a cough drop. Is it bad? No, not really, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Is that harsh? Possibly. Probably. Actually. It's sweet and tastes like an average pop. Nothing mind blowing here. Just a black cherry pop to sit around on the shelf until you meet a person that has either never had black cherry pop or someone who forgot what it tasted like. You're alright to let this one get dusty. Don't worry. Someone will drink it.

It's no secret that the three of us here at Thirsty Dudes do not partake in alcoholic beverages. We're not jerks about it, it's just not for us. To paraphrase, “You're fun is not our fun.” When RESQWATER sent us some samples, we contemplated what to do. In the past we have had some friends get wasted and drink the product and give us a review of how it worked with us touching base about the flavor. It was a fun exercise, but to be honest it took a long time to come to fruition. People are busy, and our friends are older and not getting wasted all the time, we get it.

For this review we decided to take it another way. If I understand things correctly, a big part of what makes a hangover is dehydration. To mimic this, I ate obscene amounts of salsa with chips that were far to salty to be anything close to healthy, but tasted so darn good. In the past this combination has led me to feeling like crap the following morning, and I was told that I had the same symptoms of a hangover. So I did what I had to in order to replicate the scenario, you know like a reenactment on some crime show that is always on the TV. Yes, I know this is not exactly the same, but it's what we did, so deal with it.

I can tell you, my experiment worked. After being a complete glutton last night, I woke up feeling like cold diarrhea on a paper plate. Ugh. I got up sat around for a short while and then downed a bottle of RESQWATER.

First off, this does not smell pleasant. Actually maybe it's not all that unpleasant of a scent, but it's not what I want to smell when I'm about to drink something. It's something like a combination of fruit, vitamins, some sort of marinade and possibly meat. It's a weird smell that I was not expecting at all. The smell vaguely translates into the taste, but luckily it's not in a vomit inducing way. Mostly it tastes like a Vitamin Water version of prickly pear, but with a slightly stronger flavor. There is a bit of an adult vitamin taste to it as well, but it's sweet enough to mostly bury it.

This could be much worse, but overall it's nothing that I would drink for pleasure, which I assume wouldn't be the healthiest decision anyways. I would certainly drink it again if I ever woke up feeling like I did today. It didn't take all that long for my body to start feeling normal again after downing this. For all of you prone to hangovers due to your late night decisions, I suggest you keep a supply of this on hand.

Deep in the Hollywood Hills children need to step up their game with roadside stands. Kids grow up fast these days, and growing up and being popular requires money that they don't have. The days of the standard lemonade stand are long gone; the profits just weren't enough. These days the kids need to up the ante, or they will just have to kiss those new premium apps goodbye. As a result a new wave of suburban roadside beverages has risen.

It all started when some daring eight year old used her mother's seltzer water instead of the Evian that was customarily used (hey this is Hollywood, land of the yuppies). People were abuzz about this new development and there was a line around the block. From that point the children kept trying to outdo each other. They would flavor their lemonades in various ways to lure customers away from other stands. Some say there were a lot of backroom dealing and sabotage going on during this time, but there is no definitive documentation.

Then came the day that the Earth stood still. One little dreamer changed everything. That day a 100% Organic sparkling lemonade hit the streets. Since then the street stand game has never been the same. People came from miles just to sample this child's creation, and to feel good about themselves whilst doing so.

Limonitz attempts to recreate that greatness with their products. They use filtered sparkling water, organic lemon juice concentrate and organic sugar to make the finest carbonated lemonades this world has ever seen. On it's own it would be quite a product, but the company took it a step further with this drink and added organic ginger extract. The results are mind blowing. Here we have a sparkling lemonade, that not only tastes like real lemons without a hint of cleaning fluid, but also that actually has a real ginger flavor to it. It has a mind ginger burn to it, it's very mild to me, but my ladyfriend said that it had a decent bearable burn. Every ingredient is present in the taste, and there for a specific reason. It's simple, it's organic, and it's delicious. Needless to say this is going to put all of those dumb kids stands out of business before they can buy whatever it is kids “need” to have these days.

I lived in an apartment with my girlfriend and we had downstairs neighbors. We lived adjacent each other for about a year before we said as much as one word to each other. Why? Well I can't tell you for sure but it didn't hurt that the dude downstairs always went to work wearing a nice shirt, slacks, and was always smiling. That in itself is enough to turn me off because, as you might guess, I am a salty jerk off.

One day I helped the girl downstairs get a mouse out of her bathroom and we made friends. Later that week was Halloween and we were outside with our dog dressed up as a lobster and they came out and sat on the porch. We instantly hit it off. I judged a book by its cover and missed out on a solid year of potential friendship. This drink is much like my relationship with my neighbors. I thought this was going to suck because it's in a tall can, has corn syrup, and just looks like it's going to suck. It is quite the opposite. It is a very good juice that doesn't at all reflect its outsides. It's sweet, not oversweet, and tastes like a good strawberry kiwi juice. Yeah, it's got a little bit of an aftertaste of something but it's easily masked by another sip.

No I am only on the surface comparing this can of juice to the solid friendship that I didn't know I had one story below me but now I've got a juice that I've judged wrongly and a friend that I have scammed, schemed and hinted at having sexuals with each other's partners for the past five years that I wouldn't trade for the world. I would push this can into a bus to save him and I would not do the opposite. This drink is better than I thought. I could have started and ended with that but now you learned a valuable lesson about life and friendship. Make a friend and share a tallboy with them. You won't regret it.

I believe there is a flaw in the basic nature of this beverage. How I see it is that you would want to drink an energy drink prior to doing strenuous activity that would require hydration. Wouldn't you want that extra boost to help you push through whatever it is that you're doing? Does added hydration do anything previous to any sort of workout? I suppose you could sip this while you are in the process of whatever it is that you are doing. Would the energy boost hit you in time though? I certainly don't get it.

Another thing that I don't get is the flavor. Grape has got to be one of the easiest flavors ever (right along side orange), yet they have somehow messed it up with this. What little non-diet/energy flavor that is present almost tastes more berry than grape. Whatever it is, it's not very pleasant. It's certainly doesn't taste good enough to denote a 24oz can.

I'm going to stick to the one serving out of the three that are in this can, and introduce the rest to the drainage system in my house. It has no place in my person.

Earl loved celebrating…€¦too much. He was the guy at work that would somehow always find a reason for cake whether it be Sheryl in accounting, Sharon in accounts receivable, or Shannon in customer service. Cakes, assorted pies, and trays of cookies always seemed to be in tow when it came to Earl. On Halloween he came in and was very sad. Most of the people in the office were wearing at least some sort of hackneyed cat ears or devil horns. Sheila Larson from the front desk asked what was wrong and he told his sad story.

He was on his way to his car dressed to the nines in a zombie outfit. Full makeup, ripped shirt and shorts, colors contacts, and a well rehearsed limp. He was ten feet from the car and a car drove by and completely splashed him. It totally ruined his getup. His makeup was running, he was cold and wet, and genuinely was not in the mood to have any sort of party.

Lunchtime had come and everyone made their way to the company picnic where the office had decided to have a little Halloween party. Earl walked in and sat down and started to eat his sandwich. Just then, a handful of the women from the office brought him a cupcake with a Jack-o-lantern on it and a tiny can of pop. He looked up and smiled and said thanks. He ate the cupcake and was in a better mood but it wasn't until he drank that pop that he was back to his normal self. The pop they gave him was a Halloween exclusive flavored like a caramel apple. He had never seen anything like it. He loved to bring in candy and caramel apples to the girls at the office throughout fall so this little can was a treat. He took a couple sips and decided it tasted more like non-alcoholic apple cider with some caramel in it. That was close enough for him. He went outside and no one saw him for about ten minutes. Then, he came back in dressed as a janitor. All the ladies thought it was a great costume and wondered where he got it. Just then, Sam the janitor walked in wearing Earl's clothes that he just had on. It was a Halloween that Consolidated Cardboard won't soon forget.

Roberta Smith was new to town. She always dressed in black and her schoolmates used to call her “Wednesday Addams” because she wore black, collared dress almost every day. Her hair also looked like she had always freshly put something into a light socket. She always had her headphones on listening to the blackest of metal. When people would ask her what she was listening to, she would say that she was listening to “blood metal” which is not a real genre, but something to get the point across that it was very dark and often morbid. She had patches on her backpack for bands like Danzig, Type-O Negative, Necrophagist, and Cannibal Corpse and many more.

She came to school one day and say alone to eat lunch. She had a turkey sandwich, apple, Star Crunch, and a small can of pop. One of the bullies in the school came over and took the can from Wednesday. She demanded that he give it back to her. He refused and asked her what it was. She told him it was blood orange. He squealed like pig and practically threw the can back at her thinking it was made with real blood. Fed up with the abuse that she had taken, she chased the kid through the lunchroom and tackled him. She opened up the can of pop and started to pour some into his mouth. A teacher came in and broke up the scuffle and the students went on their way. The bully got up as Wednesday went back to the table with an arm full of sticky pop. He said, “This isn't blood! It just tastes like orange pop and grapefruit pop mixed together! It's actually pretty good. Thanks, Wednesday!” She smiled for the first time in front of her classmates.

After class, some students came up to her and told her that it was cool that she stood up to the bully and asked if she wanted to come over to their houses and play with dolls. She said, “Sure! Do you want to come over to my house, listen to Slayer and pull the wings off butterflies.” When the kids backed up in disgust, she would tell them, “Just kidding. We aren't going to be mean to butterflies but we are still listening to Slayer.”

Dear Trick or Treaters of the world,
When you are traversing the back streets of your town, begging for sugary confections I have on request for you. Actually it's not a request; it's a demand. You can keep all of your chocolates and suckers, your Wonkas and your Hersheys. I must request that you save all of your licorice and send it to me directly at the Thirsty Dudes offices (aka my apartment). I have no need of Sweet Tarts or Tootsie Rolls, I only need the sweet, sweet goodness of licorice. Let me be more specific, red licorice. You can keep any and all black licorice trash for yourself. Bring me your Twizzlers, your Red Vines and your Australian soft eating varieties. Red licorice is the ultimate candy, and when it comes to ingesting it, I have no willpower. I will inhale an entire package before I know what happened.

The folks at Jones certainly had me in mind when they made this soda pop, as it legitimately tastes like licorice. Sure the flavor isn't as overpoweringly strong as I wish it was, but it is more than just a hint. The flavor is more along the lines of Red Vines than anything else, and while it's not my absolute favorite, I can't really complain.

It's lucky for me that these are available for a limited time only, as I don't need this temptation on a yearly basis. Also, anything more than 8oz of this would probably be too much. This candy liquefied and stored in a can with wonderful bubbles soaring through it is as close to a dream come true as any man could ask.

So on November first while you're sorting through your night's haul, dump all of your licorice into a box and mail it to Thirsty Dudes International Headquarters. The postmaster will make sure it gets to where it needs to be.

Do you have a fetish that consists of drinking liquid plastic until you reach a state of relaxation? You do? Well I did not expect you to answer that in the affirmative, but good news for you is that this drink is probably just what you have been looking for; a way to sate your compulsion but without being poisoned by it.

This 100% tastes like the most diet berry drink anyone has ever dreamt of. That beverage was then kept in some sort of plastic container, and the flavor of the plastic somehow seeped into the drink. The result is ridiculously diet tasting plastic.

In addition to tasting like nothing I want to consume, this is also a relaxation drink that will keep you calm without making you feel drowsy, like Marley Mellow Moods. In order to achieve that they use a blend of lemon balm, hibiscus, l-theanine, green tea, passion flower and a few other things.

So there you have it. You're rare fetish can now be explored anytime you wish. You just may have to head to Canada to pick some up.

The tale of Jin and Ja is as timeless as Disney would like you to believe Beauty and the Beast is. Two star-crossed lovers doomed because of their families…€¦wait that's not it. Is it something about a monkey and a talking car? Hmm. Whatever the tale we here at Thirsty Dudes are constantly on the prowl for the perfect ginger beer. The kicker is that I think I now hold it in my hands, but it's not a soda at all, due to its lack of carbonation. The perfect version of ginger ended up being some sort of weird tea type drink. I say that because it doesn't taste like tea at all.

Jin + Ja is a healthy elixir that combines ginger, cayenne, mint, green tea and lemon. It has one of the craziest burns I have ever experienced with a beverage in my life. It burns as soon as it hits your mouth, and it has an incredibly strong cayenne/ginger after burn. It's so strong that I can only drink the tiniest of all glasses at one sitting. I've actually been sipping on about 8oz of liquid for the past hour. I'm savoring every sip, which is how this should be enjoyed.

In-between the initial and post burn you get a nice sweet lemon flavor, with a very light hint of mint. The “heat” overpowers most of the tea flavor, but I'm not complaining. I just poured myself a little more, and the little that I poured makes me feel like I'm sitting here pouring shots for myself. Speaking of which, this would probably be a great mixer for some liquors.

My warning is that this drink is not for everyone. I seek out spicy ginger drinks, and this is almost too much for me to handle. My ladyfriend had the tiniest of sips, under duress, and she was writhing in pain yelling about the burn afterwards. Perhaps it will become the new” Cinnamon Challenge” or the “100 Warhead Challenge.” How much Jin + Ja can you drink before your head explodes like in Scanners?

I purchased this on a trip that I was sure was ultimately going to result in my death. On our last tour we played a last minute show at a coffee shop in Western Mass. We didn't know anyone at town, and didn't have a place to stay. Suddenly this 20 something year old gentleman approached us and told us he had been couch surfing and living out of his van, be he had a place we could crash, as long as we were okay with having a bonfire. We agree, follow him to a 7-11, where I purchased this soda, and then drove for what seemed like forever into the heart of nothingness. It seemed like we were nowhere near any sort of town, and even streetlights were nonexistent. The words of a bonfire got me to thinking that we were certainly going to be sacrificed. Most of my body was telling me to turn around and head the other direction, but we are poor and cheap and didn't want to spring for a hotel. Finally we turned into a driveway of a creepy old farmhouse. A single motion detector light came on and it didn't help our feelings of dread. The area was dead silent. There was no trace of any other human life for miles. We ascended the stairs to enter the house and I took a breath waiting for murder and mutilation. As he flipped the light switch I was sure a family of crazy hillbillies would be waiting for me, but instead I was greeted with construction equipment. You see at the show our host was vague about everything, but he quickly explained that this was his grandmother's house and she had passed away the year before. His parents were remodeling the whole thing, and it was to be their retirement home in the country. He showed us to some nice new mattresses for us to sleep on and then we went out to enjoy a nice fire on a chilly night. It ended up being one of my favorite nights of tour, and great conversations were had. In the morning light we saw that the place was probably one of the most relaxing places I had ever been. There were hundreds of cows in a field next door, pear trees and even a little waterfall in the stream behind the house. We were dumb dumb heads and we watch too many horror movies.

You didn't come here to hear about my potential demise though. You're here for sarsaparilla, and it's a fine place to be. Due to the caps I was expecting this too be the same mix that College Club and Avery uses, but this has a much darker licorice taste to it. I was very surprised at how bold the flavor was. When companies use the same labels for all their sodas and the only denotation of the flavor is on the cap, I expect something on the higher level of good, but not great. What was that something about books and covers? This is an exceptional sarsaparilla that Massachusetts is lucky to have readily available.

“Let's make Plan Tea plan A.” You're welcome for your new slogan. I'm sure the higher ups at Plan Tea have already thought of it, but come on it's great. Actually it's almost as great as the tea itself, almost. If this were only Darjeeling black tea it would be an excellent tea that would get a great rating on this website. The addition of the flavoring puts it through the roof and makes it one of the best ready to drink teas I have ever tasted.

Vanilla is an odd enough choice for a flavoring for iced tea. I've had it a few other times, but it's not common by any means. Whoever suggested using basil is a goddamn saint. They must have had a direct line to some sort of god who spoke to them in a dream and hinted at the use of basil. It's simply heavenly.

Both flavors are on the light side, but that it exactly how they should be. It's also mostly unsweetened. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but the only sweetener in it is a single drop of honey. It doesn't make it taste sweet by any means. It simply smoothes out the edges just a little bit.

I cannot exalt the greatness of this tea enough. Since the only place I have found this for purchase is over six hours away from me, I took my time and sipped it slowly. The next time I find myself in Brooklyn I'm going to have to stock up. If you or anyone you know are a fan of unsweetened iced teas I strongly urge you to give this a go.

When you are stuck on an uninhabited tropical island the coconut is life. Due to it's salt, the ocean is death; drinking it would just lead to dehydration. You could keep yourself in healthy fluids by eating obscene amounts of tropical fruit, but that is just asking for more dysentery than a failed trip on the Oregon Trail. The only solution is to drink the pulpy, slightly chalky lifeblood for the coconut. You're going to have one hell of a time getting it open, but once you figure out a method, you're golden. Then and only then will you have the luxury of exploring the luxuries the island has to offer you. It could become your personal paradise.

When you get bored of the taste of straight coconut water, you can start mixing it with other fruits. Of course many of you would go straight for pineapples to create the classic pina colada flavor. For those of you who would like to pretend you're on this mystery island Vita Coco has packaged up it's own blend of a pina colada just for you. It's nothing but coconut water/pulp, pineapple pulp and vitamin C. Unfortunately they strain all of the solids out, so this is just a liquid with no fun involved.

This is not exactly the prime flavor for me, but it's something that I know a lot of people would love. There's something about Vita Coco that always leaves me wanting. Since it's just coconuts and juice I don't know what it is, but there is something that's just not as good as other brands, but it's more than good enough for you to enjoy.

All of you guys have your fancy coffees in your fancy tiny cups. Ohhhhh you're soooo cool. Tiny cups for tiny cups of coffee. When is it my turn? Oh, it's my turn now? What do you mean they've had iced tea and regular tea for as long as they've had coffee? Why didn't anyone tell me? Yes, I do feel entitled to know these sorts of facts. I love tea and you guys should have told me. Yeah, I guess you are bad friends. Seriously, if I would have known about these options I would have gone a lot softer on you guys about the whole "tiny cups" thing. I guess it wasn't that hard on you guys. So what do I think? I like it. Even though it's not the primary sweetener, you can tell that there is something diety in there. What's in there? Uhhh...aspartame. Great. It's got a good lemon tea flavor but I would far rather have a bottle of this exact same tea from the store. I just think that it's better, that's why. You know, you're coming on pretty strong about this whole "tiny cups" thing. Are you really that offended? Yes? Really? Really. Well in that case maybe we shouldn't be friends any more. If things like that are going to break us apart than this friendship doesn't stand a chance. Good day, shopkeep.

Tiny jugs: my least favorite in both sexual and beverage terms. Sure, they're adorable, but sometimes it just doesn't cut it. In beverage terms, which I will speak of from here on out, jugs of any kind rarely imply a quality beverage. Glass is king. Plastic jugs both large and small often contain milk, orange juice, or borderline swill. This is a step above the latter but nothing you should drink more than once a month.

This is pure sugar and you can taste it. Append that to the fact that it's not real sugar and is corn syrup and has that sting that crap juice carries along with it. Flavor wise it is that of a tropical Starburst but in liquid form so you get too much of what you love. Yes, it is true. If you ate ten strawberry banana Starbursts, you might get the sensation of each sip of this drink; highly concentrated fruit juice.

If you drink this on the regular, expect a knock on the door after the large population of the CPS reads this post. I don't know why, but those guys love this website. Probably because it's a simple way to track the sales of specific drinks to bad parents. I like to think I'm helping some people out there. In this case, it's CPS and the kids who have teeth hanging on by a theoretical thread.

Despite what Derek says I will always believe, and spread the word, that the name of this here website is derived from a Mitch Hedberg joke. “You don't have to be sweating and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade. You can just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic. I'm thirsty for absolutely no reason, other than that liquid has not touched my lips for some time.” Funny? Yes. Truthful? Also, yes. Many times in my life I have drank a Gatorade or similar drink, while not in the throes of some physical activity. I was thirsty, it was a beverage that would solve my thirst, and on top of that it tastes pretty good.

With all of the above being said, I don't think I could ever see myself drinking one of these bottles of Cytomax for pleasure. It is a beverage with a specific function, and I think I will save it for that. Sure it's basically the same sort of beverage as Gatorade, but the difference is that along with crystalline fructose, stevia is also used as a sweetener in here. That just throws the whole thing off. It's citrus flavored in the way that popsicles are, but with the stevia it's like a natural diet popsicle. There is something inherently wrong with the idea of such a product existing. Since this is a performance beverage and not a frozen summertime treat, it is acceptable, but I wouldn't drink it just for enjoyment. I would drink it after spending some time on the court with that previously mentioned basketball though. That is it's intended purpose, so I suppose Cytomax has produced what it was aiming for.

This is so close to being amazing that it is so very frustrating. It hits your lips and you think to yourself, “this is one serious soda.” Not only does it not taste like those little strawberry candies whose wrappers look like the fruit, it actual tastes like berries. It has a wonderful adult berry flavor. I don't mean alcoholic, I mean that it's not overly sweetened to the liking of a child. It's still sweet, but not in a way that makes you fear tooth decay. It tastes like a soda you would sip at the end of a long day as you sit out in our hypothetical backyard and have a nice little fire. Oddly enough, it's the fire that I believe ruins this drink. Just when the going it getting good, the drink makes a left hand turn and the “Sprecher flavor” comes out to greet your taste buds. Since this is the only company that I can relate this flavor to, and this is also the only company I know that fire brews their soda, I blame the fire. I don't know how to explain the flavor exactly, but it is the thing that always keeps me from giving their sodas perfect marks. It's unfortunate, because I could see this quickly becoming a favorite of mine if it weren't for that weird after taste.

I'm going to say that I haven't had a peach in two decades. I never cared for them. I don't like any food that could potentially get me messy and peaches and plums are at the top of that list.

I have had peach candy in the last twenty years and this tastes like peach candy. It's a lingering taste but the taste isn't bad so you don't mind it staying around, like that one last dude at a party that won't stop talking about his annoying neighbor. It's fun to hear about it but you have cups and plates scattered throughout your house and want to clean up and go to bed.

This flavor is better than the blackberry one because that one is pretty diet. Pretty diet indeed. This exchanges the diet for long lasting, indistinguishable peach flavor. It's a good trade.

The level of concentration in this is pretty intense. You use one drop per ounce. Looking into an empty cup with ten drops is surprisingly flavorful. It's probably two or three times more concentrated than the other liquid flavor bottles out there. Maybe they could team up. I think everyone could benefit from that partnership.

"Tastes like lemonade," sounds like trickery to me. Telling someone that something tastes like something else seems like a not-so clever way of sneaking something into someone. If they would have said this was their interpretation of lemonade, I would have been fine. Them saying on the bottle that this "tastes like lemonade" tells me that this isn't lemonade and it's not trying to be lemonade but still tastes like it.

Does this taste like lemonade? Yes. It tastes like lemonade with those delightful little chia seeds in it. I like them. I don't know if I ever didn't but for the record, I like them. They've got a little crunch but you have to get through the smooth jelly exterior first. Although it sounds gross, I like it and if you don't actively chew the seeds, you might be able to care a little less with the fact that something you're drinking crunches.

The Stevia taste is there and I could tell right away. It's not too offensive but it's worth pointing out that this is a low calorie drink that tastes like a low calorie. An important point is that they're not trying to disguise it as not being diet. They also go on to point out what feels like a thousand times that this contains things that are good for you. Great right? Eh. It's good.

Peaches may be the only fruit whose juice comes straight from nature in syrup form. There is no need to boil it down to its essence, as it's thick and stick all on it's own. We're not talking maple syrup thickness, but it is way thicker than any other fruit I've experienced. It is due to this that peach nectar is a task to drink. It's delicious, and I love it, but unlike other juices it's not gone within two seconds of being placed before me. It's a sipping juice that you should enjoy over a period of time, not in a brief moment.

Compal's peach nectar is pretty standard. There is added sugar, which seems unnecessary, but it doesn't detract from the flavor too much. I can only assume that for the sake of profits all of the peaches that were juiced to make this were not 100% ripe, so the added sugar was needed to give the illusion that they were. It tastes like the real fruit (albeit a ad sweeter) and that is all you can hope to ask for these days. If you don't have the luxury of living near a peach orchard you should drink up and enjoy the peasants life you live.