“Underachiever and proud of it,” was once the motto of a yellow, eight fingered juvenile delinquent from an unspecified location in America. It's also basically the slacker generation's war cry. “The previous generations screwed everything up for us, so we're not going to do anything to try and fix it. We're just going to have as much of a good time as we can.” While I endorse people having a good time, not trying is just a cop out.

I feel like Jumex has a little bit of Bart in them. This drink had such potential. Strawberry nectar sounds like a summers dream come true. I would want to bath in it and then drink my disgusting bath water post soak. Ick. Pretend I didn't say that. That will never actually be true. So yeah, this could have been the drink that would bring an end to war an famine. Jumex decided to say “Ehhh” and watered it down and added HFCS to unnecessarily sweeten it. There is a base of delicious strawberry puree in here, but the corn syrup makes it even thicker than it would normally be and gives it a weird tang. The water does what water does best and blands it out. Shame on you Jumex.

So there are balls. Dragon Balls. They've got stars in them, which gives them way more special powers than some lame cats eye. They are marbles with special powers. You collect them and get special powers so you can whoop demons…€¦so many demons. It's not like superheroes where the villains represent some sort of socioeconomic issue. These guys are just bad. They just want to fight and hold lifelong grudges. Mean guys.

Now from what I know about Dragon Ball Z is that there isn't a lot of talking through conflict. It's mostly, "You are going to get it this time!" and then fight. No sitting down and debating. If they could sit down and discuss the issue at hand over a can of this cola, something might actually happen rather than fisticuffs. They could discuss things like who can take over this region of the country while drinking, for all intents and purposes, a better diet Pepsi. Sure, they might yell back and forth and have some empty threats but they will be quenched and might be able to order a nice sandwich platter. Classic dual over lunch.

In the past I have complained about tea being too weak. I'll drink water when I want to drink water, thank you very much. I don't want a super strong tea because that can be overwhelming and this is teetering on the fence. I steeped it for the specified amount and it came out about as strong as I could handle. Was I in a fruit paradise? I think I was on my last day at the resort where I feel like I have done all I can there. I sang karaoke, ate the local cuisine, hung out in the pool, made a sand castle, and ate copious amounts of fruit and now I'm ready to go home. I'm enjoying my last day but looking forward to boarding the plane and just getting home.

The fruits are all in there trying to make your stay as comfortable as possible but, in doing so, they're kind of getting on your nerves. Sure, I like to come home to a made bed, but sometimes I want to not make the bed and come back how I left it. There are a lot of fruits in here including apple, elderberries, strawberry and apricots. That's a giant amount of fruit, right? It's a veritable fruit salad. There is also hibiscus and rose hips to make this a true, herbal tea. You can taste that they are all there but indistinguishably.

Look, I don't hate this vacation and I will come back here again. I just wish everyone didn't try so hard to make my stay so "pleasant." I suppose next time I could just steep it less and/or use a larger cup.

The road trip is one of the greatest joys that life can give you. Hanging out in a car with friends on a warm summer day speeding down the highway with the windows down and the radio up. I think one of the main reasons I wanted to play music was to always have extended road trips in my life. According to the little blurb on this can, Monster feels the same way. They talk about being young and working dumb jobs to pay for your summer excess, but then save enough for one last blow out trip at the end of summer. I know what they were talking about and I can fully relate. My confusion comes in the form of that statement being on a “diet” energy drink. Sure I'm sure many a road trip are fueled my caffeine and taurine, but when was the last time you or anyone you knew were at a little gas station in the middle of nowhere and someone in the car said something along the lines of, “Oh make sure you grab me a zero calorie energy drink and some yogurt”? The people they are trying to reach out to with that statement more than likely don't care about their sugar intake. They are pounding bags of Doritos and roller dogs by the gallon. Perhaps they were shooting for a nostalgia angle though; people who are older, whose metabolisms have slowed down. They have fond memories of trips past, but now they need to watch what they eat so they don't end up looking like Pizza the Hut.

Whatever their intentions, they did a good job with this energy drink. They did the unthinkable and made a diet fruit punch that doesn't taste like complete garbage. I think the secret was that they kept the punch pretty mellow, unlike the Hawiian Punch taste-a-likes in the world. Also, they used erythritol as the sweetener, which taste less like poison than sucralose or aspartame. The end result is a drink that just tastes fruity without being overbearing and only tastes mildly diet.

It's rare that I find a diet drink that I don't mind, and I could see myself purchasing again. Well done Monster Corp.

I enjoy drinks with directions. Oh sure, sometimes I like the only direction to be "Open and enjoy" but sometimes there are times where I like a nice diagram to follow in order to enjoy my drink to the fullest. This is only a two-step process but there are multiple packages and buttons to press before you get to enjoy it.

Step 1: Froth packet. You empty this cat into your drink and you would think to your dumb self, "Well I just add water to this and it makes the magic happen, right? Well you would be wrong if you think that the magic can happen without a little Daryl Hall solo stuff. Also, I think we're thinking about two different types of magic. No, step one is just the froth packet. You put that in and you leave it alone.

Step 2: Standard issue albeit neatly shaped K-cup. Press the button and everything blends together to make the complete sweet treat. If I didn't know better, I would say that step two in itself is just Gevalia coffee and the froth and cocoa is in the aforementioned step but I'm not here to ruin the magician's secrets.

Step 3: Enjoy, which I did. This, to me, and I am a coffee shop novice, tastes like a pretty genuine coffee shop classic. It tastes like a good coffee first with some cocoa and the foam on top. It doesn't taste like hot cocoa with coffee, which is the wrong order if you ask me. It's got that coffee aftertaste that some of you probably enjoy on your tongue but I, for one, would like to immediately chew some gum or use a tongue scraper because this taste is lingering a tad too long. Note: I am not penalizing Gevalia for this is (presumably) the intended action for coffee folk, of which I am not. I am just a guy who stole this from his girlfriend with whom I have never made magic happen with the assistance of a little Daryl Hall.

Which of our forefathers stated the words, “Give me chunks or give me death!”? That was Ben Franklin right? Mr. Franklin had a thing for the ladies, and perhaps he had a fetish for those of the Asian persuasion. Perhaps then they turned him onto aloe drinks and he fell in love with sweet, fruit flavored drinks with fun little chunks in them. I bet he liked to catch the chunks in his teeth and then chew on them after he swallowed the liquid. Ben always was a kid at heart. Unlike us here in modern day America I bet he was unfamiliar with mangos and I also bet he loved their taste. What an exotic drink this must have been in the 18th century. It's so sticky sweet like the fruit that flavors it. Oh, did I mention it actually tastes like mango as well? It tastes like your grandmother decided to eat a mango like she eats her grapefruit; by dumping a bunch of sugar on it. Man it's no wonder everyone had wooden teeth back then.

Ben Franklin had it right when he ranted about aloe. Maybe he had some weird thing with regurgitation, or just maybe I got that famous quote wrong.

Lemon wedges in restaurants are dirty, dirty things. According to the news they rarely get washed and are full of bacteria that gets transferred to your drink. Ick. Lucky for me I'm not a huge lemon guy, and I like my water plain, so I stay bacteria free, well at least in that aspect.

For those of you that do like lemon in your water, try this much cleaner version. Adding a little package of True Lemon to water tastes exactly like you squeezed a nice big lemon wedge into your glass. It's powderized lemon juice, with no added sugar. I have friends who carry this stuff around like it was their bible. Come on, join the clean team.

The moth caterpillars may be the species on this planet that produces the most products in comparison to its size. Not only are these little guys gathered together to harvest the silk they spin out of their butts to make fancy dresses (yes your designer dress once came from a bug's butt, charming isn't it) and sheets that are far to slippery for anyone to get a good nights sleep, but they also produce a high quality product from the other side of their body. While these little fellas are busy popping out smooth fabric, they are also puking up a sweet carbonated substance.

Avery's Soda has decided there was a market for the liquid that moth caterpillars vom all over themselves, and have created a soda using it as the base. It has a general cane sugar sweetened soda flavor to it, with some hints of kiwi and pineapple to it. It most certainly tastes like candied fruit, and for that fact little kids eat it up. I will advise that parents tell their children that it's just a funny name for the soda, and not what it actually is: insect puke.

Oh sir. You look so cold. Please, please. Come in to my coffee shop and I will give you a drink on the house. Look at you. Your nose is as red as a...well your nose is red and you've got to get that wet coat off. Let me take that, sir. Come in, sit sit sit. I've got something I think you will like. It's a mocha latte. No sir, we do not only serve, how you say, "regular coffee." I've got for you, my cold sir, a hot cup of mocha. Relax sir and just enjoy your cup of mocha.

Well sir, have you enjoyed your coffee? What? Sir, are you accusing me of using one of those dastardly Keurig machines to make our classic Italian coffee? Sir I can assure you...what? You what? You saw in the garbage that there are approximately three dozen used K-cups in there? Well sir, you've got us. Now you're going to tell everyone and our coffee shop will be closed. You...you aren't going to tell anyone? Thank you sir. Also, since you know that secret, you should know that I am really putting on an act with this whole "sir" thing. I did bring you in because you looked like a wet rat, though. That one was rightfully on me. So seriously dude, what did you think of the coffee? Just alright? Why? Yeah, you know what? It does just kind of tastes like a half and half coffee and hot chocolate. Oh, you got that little bit of diet taste, too? Yeah, I don't know. It's not advertised as diet but for some reason it's got that in there.

How do you feel, man? Are you better? Warmer? Oh, you're welcome. Come in any time. You know that we charge like five dollars for these cups of coffee and at the rate that we sell them and the fact that they're like a quarter at the quantity that we buy them at, giving you a free coffee when you come in if you promise not to say anything is only fair. Have a good day, man. Oh, hey! If you're not busy tomorrow night, my Chicago cover band is playing down at the Rusty Lobster. You should come down. Oh, you're busy, that blows. Well have a good night.

Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt your meal at this $1000 a plate benefit, but I must ask you a very important question, are you crazy? No, huh? Well would you say that you are crazy about berries? You guess. Let's just pretend you said that you are. In fact let's say that you are very crazy about berries. Some might say that you are “berry loco.” Huh, Huh, see what I did there?

So since you are so loco for these berries and I can't seem to get you to shut up about them, how about you try some of this new Aquafina Flavorsplash? It's a berry flavored sparkling water with B vitamins added to it. Sounds great, right? Well what if I told you that we sweetened the deal, literally, and added sucralose? You would say that you have no interest in artificial sweeteners, wouldn't you? I'm right there with you, and I have no idea why they did it. Okay I'm lying I know; this is a diet drink aimed to help people who like soda pop drink something a little healthier. While I'm not a fan of sucralose, I must say that underneath that fake sweetness hides a nice tasting sparkling berry drink. It tastes like the Kool Aid I imagine you rich folks drink would taste like. I know you're Kool Aid tastes better than the version they sell us poor folks, you can't like to me! Fine, I'll leave! I bet you would have had no problem with this drink had I served it in a champagne flute. Snobby McSnobSnob!

Forgive me if I'm wrong but wasn't the whole point of blk that it was mineral water that was heavy on the fulvic acid, so it looked murky and dark? It was a clever marketing scheme to get a lot of people who would never in a million years buy mineral water to shell out some cash. I bought into it for at least one bottle. It tasted like water and was a nice gimmick.

With their new “+” line blk added some flavor to that water. Everything would be well and good except in addition to that flavoring they also added stevia. Why couldn't they have just stuck with the flavoring? This would actually be pretty tasty if they had. Sure, stevia is probably the most palatable zero calorie sweetener on the market, but the inclusion of any sweetener whatsoever in these drinks was unnecessary. Had they stuck to it being unsweetened flavored mineral water, I think I would truly enjoy it. As things stand the cool sting of the stevia overpowers the mango flavor. Things should have been kept mellow, instead they just taste diet.

When I bought this drink I was pretty sure it was going to be great, but the longer I thought about it, the greater my suspicions. On one hand it's a green tea that was orange pineapple flavored and that sounds great to me. In addition to that it comes in a glass bottle, which most of the time is a sign of quality tea. What company is going to spend the extra money on glass with an inferior product? On the other hand this is a protein drink, which could leave it weirdly chalky. It is also sweetened with stevia, which isn't absolutely terrible, but it's still not my sweetener of choice. There was no doubt that there was going to be an element of gambling involved with this one.

My original thoughts were not quite on the money. Actually they were a bit further away from it than I would have liked. This is a very, very light tea to the extent that it almost tastes like tea-flavored water. The flavoring has a vague citrusness around it, but it's more like the weakest Tang that has ever been made than orange and pineapple. That's stevia coldness isn't helping matters either. If that had been the drink it wouldn't have been horrible, but nothing I would spend my money on again. Blu-Dot took things further though and added whey protein in order to make the drink functional.

On some levels adding the protein made this drink seem better, because I always give functional drinks a bit of a break in the flavor category, because you can't expect that stuff to taste great. Then on the opposite levels it just makes an already mediocre flavor go even more down hill.

To summarize this it tastes like a shot of green tea was dumped into the world's most watered down Tang and then a heap of whey protein was dropped in, which made it taste like it should be curdled. I am not a fan.

You thought that Popeye was getting his strength from spinach but there was a dirty little secret behind that. Sure, he loved the green stuff but when you weren't looking and the camera changed angles, he would slam a can of his own proprietary blend of energy drink. He was very ahead of his time. Drinking this allowed him to bend large steel beams and lift cars with ease. It was just a plot from the vegetable industry to push more spinach to kids. He made out big time; enough to start his own energy drink line.

Now Popeye knew a thing or two about healthy stuff since he did manage to learn a thing or two about his vegetables. He didn't add sugar to his energy drink and let the natural flavors of the blackberry to flavor and sweeten this drink. He even snuck in some vegetables, possibly due to contracts, to color his drink. He did manage to make a drink that tastes more like something unique rather than your cookie cutter energy drink. The blackberry taste is pretty spot on and it's even got some bitterness from the blackberry left that didn't get cut out of the mix.

With Wimpy as his terrible accountant, they are slowly taking the energy drink world by storm with the phrase, "You'll gladly pay today for a Popeye's energy drink today."

Come on, dude. Let me down. I don't think that I deserve this. I swear I didn't steal that pack of gum. I've got like thirty dollars in my wallet. Why would I steal a one dollar pack of gum? Dollar fifty? Come on dude. This is a dollar gum and you know it. You're just ripping people off with that. I know people love it. It's a classic gum but that's no reason to overcharge just because you can. Let's just get back to the issue at hand here. Why am I being drawn and quartered? I told you I wasn't stealing that gum. I had some on me that you just so happen to be a brand you sell. Seriously, I'm telling you the truth. Man, this reminds me of that strange tea I had. What? Oh, now you're concerned about my opinion. Well I'll tell you but I would like you to let me go. I'll pay you double for the gum I didn't steal just so you let me down. This thing pulling me is getting quite uncomfortable.

Alright, so I met up with some friends and one gave me a tea that I couldn't read a single word to. Naturally I just drank it because I was thirsty. I took a sip and it tasted like someone poured jasmine tea into a beer and sweetened it with honey. I don't drink so this kind of took me for a loop. Why don't I drink? It's because I don't want to and don't think that I need to, that's why. Back to the tea, I love tea. I love it. When you pair it with beer, though, it goes down an infinite amount of pegs. When you have a nice jasmine tea sweetened with honey, though, it's a good thing. So I'm torn, much like I feel like my limbs are slowly ripping from my socket all over some stupid gum.

Oh, what? I don't know where it came from, maybe some Asian market. So what do you say, pal? Can you let me down? I've been good to you. I've promised you more money that you deserve. I've told you a tale of my past. How about you let me down? No? Well what do you want to talk about while my balls and sockets say goodbye? This is unbearable but I give you full credit for doing it with horses and not some medieval apparatus. Credit where credit's due, right?

The beverage world, and the flavor world at large went crazy with pomegranate a few years back. It was everywhere. They started mixing it with other fruits and the results were largely positive. Then someone decided to throw acai in the mix because of the health benefits, and that's where I lost interest. Before long it seemed that everywhere you turned pom and acai were teamed up like the Justice League of antioxidants. The thing is acai doesn't taste all that great. Sure it's palatable, but it's nothing I would go out of my way for.

When I got this drink it brought a smile to my face that that dumb super fruit was nowhere to be found. I'm going to associate acai with Superman here. They both have powers, but they are overall dumb characters that always seem like they are cheating. I suppose that would make pomegranates Batman then. They are dark and mysterious with secrets hidden below their thick outer shell. I can get behind pomegranates. I was also glad to see that pom is working together with blueberries in this mix. We'll call them Nightwing because they are working together and not as a superhero/sidekick team.

This is a wonderful drink that fights antioxidants (crime) enough to keep them out of your body (Gotham) long enough for it to recuperate. They do it in a tasty and enjoyable way with a little bit of help from coconut water (Oracle…€¦see I told you Nightwing was more appropriate). This is actually more of a blueberry adventure with pomegranate backing it up. Speaking of which, why are there not more, if any, blueberry coconut waters. I would drink that up by the gallon.

This drink will leave you refreshed and rehydrated whilst leaving a sweet taste on your tongue. I'm going to assume that most of my references were lost on a majority of you, but just know that if I'm associating a beverage with Gotham's finest; I mean business.

You thought I was never going to do it but I did it. Was it hard? No. How hard is buying a cup of green tea? Not hard. It took a lot of recommendation and persuasion to get me out of their hibiscus iced tea, which I should add has been upgraded to a five bottle review, but we did it. How was it? Not as good as everyone thinks it is.

If I had to simplify it, which I don't have to but I will, it tastes like if Whole Foods made green tea Freez-e-pops. It's sweet like the liquid in one would be. As for the promised passion fruit and papaya infusion, it is a light infusion that might only be used to cut out the bitterness of the green tea of which there is none. It's not fruity and doesn't have a ton of body whatsoever. It's a fairly straightforward, entry-level sweet green tea. Sure, it's for the masses so bitterness and complexity don't really bode well for the lowest common denominator. Am I calling you a dumb dummy? No sir or madam. Am I calling you a lady who houses prostitutes? No ma'am.

I could go for some nice tropical rhythms. It's getting cold here in Buffalo and I started to get ready for the inevitable winter. I put away all of the lawn furniture and I started putting plastic up on the windows I live in an old apartment and the windows don't do much for keeping out the cold drafts). I could use a nice little island retreat before I get into the icy slump of winter.

Unfortunately this drink didn't give me the feeling of hanging out in the sun with the waves crashing and some weird birds cawing. The title would leave one to believe that this is a nice mango juice from concentrate. One sip and I knew that there was some carrot in the mix. It's not strong, but it's a flavor that I have grown to notice in drinks. I have no problem with carrots being added to beverages, as the health boost is appreciated. I just like knowing that it's in there beforehand. I do dislike the use of HFCS. All of the other Grace products I've tried have used real sugar, and that is always preferred. The sweetener in this gives it a weird syrupy taste that I could do without. I understand high fructose corn syrup in soda to an extent, but adding it to juice just seems completely unnecessary.

Had this been sweetened with sugar, or had no added sweeteners, and been labeled mango carrot I can guarantee I would have had a more pleasant ride with it. Now someone bring me more blankets. I refuse to turn my heat on before Thanksgiving.

I assume Georgia gets sick of being synonymous with peaches. Like Salem and witches, these places have more to offer than being a one trick pony? Now that we're on this horse segue, when have you seen a horse do more than one trick that it's derogatory to be known as a "one trick pony?" Horses run; not a trick, and they jump over fences; trick. A horse that is a one trick pony can now be just labeled as a horse. Backtrack...

Salem had witch trials in the late 1600's. We're four centuries past that and although they milk it, there are other people that live and work there that have other things to do that constantly carve pumpkins, affix faux moles, and practice their shrill laughs.

Salem; check. Horse talk; check. Alright, back to peaches. Peaches are fine. I don't like them but I don't hate them. There are just some foods that I don't eat for no reason other than I don't want to. Furry fruit is one of them. Look, they taste fine. I don't eat them. The thought of a peach lemonade entices me, though. I made myself a glass of this and slammed the whole thing. No problems there. What did I think? Well that's why we're all here, right? At the edges of our seats awaiting my very important review of a powdered peach lemonade. I shall serve you your main course of review right now. Please be seated.

This was the first time since I've been on a True Citrus kick that the Stevia was overpowering. It wasn't too much that it was undrinkable but it was distracting. The peach flavor was good albeit a bit "candied" for my taste. The lemonadidity (not a real word...yet) was about a five out of ten. Between the candy peach and the non-traditional sweetener of the lemonade, this took a turn for the unfortunate "average" column. A couple strikes will do that to you. Baseball strikes. A couple bowling strikes would put you on top of the world. That phrase simply wouldn't work if I was referencing bowling. I don't know much about sports but that I know. Strikes in baseball is bad. Strikes in bowling is good.

Why don't you go ahead and make yourself a milkshake? Dump some vanilla ice cream in your blender. Then instead of adding cow milk, add some almond milk. You know what you had a nice workout at the gym, why not add a scoop of whey protein to the mix. Blend it up nice and smooth. Oh crap, you forgot to let the dog out. You better do that before he has another accident on the new carpet. Oh you're dog will only go toity if you walk him on a leash? You know what? Go ahead give him the walk he needs, I mean it will give your carpet the peace of mind it deserves.

Well, I'm sorry to say that I forgot to tell you to put your milkshake in the fridge. I mean I didn't think I had to dictate everything you did today. Oh wait, you did remember to pick up after your dog right? Man, your neighbors must really hate you. I suppose you should drink the shake anyways. It's a little melted, but it's still cold, and I'm sure it tastes exactly like a Coco Libre almond protein coconut water. Yes, I know that is the longest title for a beverage ever, but it tastes good, and so does your shake, so lay off.

To further my new quest to find a fantastic spicy chocolate drink to compare to an Aztec Hot Chocolate I had, I splurged and got this. Yeah, I'll admit it. I'm on a real loose, hot tea kick but I like my stuff strong. I'm new to the loose tea game so if you are, too, let me tell you something I learned. If you want a stronger tea, don't think that you can just let it steep for like fifteen minutes because then you'll have a tea that tastes like wood and old, wet leaves.

Cinnamon is a spice but I wouldn't say that it's particularly spicy. This is a chai and although I have had some with bite, this one smells better than it tastes. It's got hunks of solid chocolate, vanilla bean, and coconut pieces. You can actually taste all of it, which is pretty incredible. It tastes good and is decently strong. I steep on the longer side because I do like a stronger, thicker tea. It's not a chai like you might expect but it's still something different that you can enjoy any time of the day. It's faint enough on the chocolate side that you don't feel like a fat turd drinking it at ten in the morning. Yeah, I said it. Don't eat chocolate for breakfast. Sure, chocolate in cereal is fine but whomever is eating a bar of Hershey's in the morning should really re-evaluate your life and choice of chocolate. That's some novice stuff there, son. Wake up and get some quality dark in you. What are you, eight and in summer camp making smores?