Shot - 84 Reviews

It's a tough life protecting the city. Who has time to sleep these days with all of the crime going on? Korporal Kangaroo? That guys is a joke. He runs and hides whenever evil rears its ugly head. It's 7:43am and I bet that joker is still curled up in his bed under a mountain of covers. Me, I haven't had more than a few minutes of sleep at a time for the past 17 months. How do I do it? I'm glad you asked. I had the boys in the lab mix me up a batch of potent energy juice. I used to rely on Red Bull, but when I found out that El Torro was the head of the company I just had to stop. I will not support villainy is any form be it crime of commerce. I knew I needed something made by super heroes for super heroes.

The boys named it Hero. What can I say they are terrible at branding, but are geniuses with science and technology? Not only is it potent, but it's also small so I can keep a couple hidden in my cowl during my patrols. It's also the least toxic tasting "non all natural" energy shot I've ever tasted and I've tried them all. It still tastes like chemical berries, but not like radiated chemical berries.

Now I must up my vigilance to help keep these streets safe for lady liberty!

A lot of the time I feel like we just shouldn't bother reviewing energy shots. The reason being is that even the best of them taste like a mouthful of pesticide. This just happens to be one of the best of them, so it tastes like pineapple pesticide. You know the kind they only use in Hawaii. I was a huge fan of the "drink" version of this product, so I had high hopes that this was going to be the messiah of energy shots. Nope. It still tastes harsh and like you got your hands on something as a child that really should have a childproof cap on it, but it's been sitting on the shelf since the 70's, before those caps existed. This was a valiant effort, Cintron, but I just don't think it's possible to do what you're trying to do. Take it from a scientist.

Johnny, I've had a lot of trouble getting to sleep. What can you prescribe me? I trust you in all your endless knowledge of sports, and for that reason, why shouldn't I trust you in your slight, if at all knowledge of medicine. I mean, I know you work at a corner grocery store, but maybe this is just a stepping-stone to your true calling, medicine. Sure, some say that you can't go back to school at...Johnny, how old are you...sixty-two, but I say that can't be right. I went to school and although I didn't see anyone who's sixty-two, I saw kids that might have been forty and that's pretty old for school. What's twelve more years?

So, my dilemma. I can't sleep. Nothing keeps me up at night but my own mind and I've got to slow it down to a creeping halt so that I can work my high power job at the roller rink as a DJ. What have you got for me? Why this? Arizona makes tea, Johnny. Oh, they've got a new product. Well, let me take a look-see here. Peach green tea and it comes in this adorable little container? I will try this right now, if you don't mind. Johnny! This is perhaps better than the tall boy of Arizona peach iced tea. It's remarkable! I'll take a case. Now I will have no problem sleeping in until three o'clock when the roller rink opens. Here, Johnny, take these two complimentary tickets to the roller rink on me. You deserved it. Yes, as a matter of fact, skates are extra. Sorry. We've got to make money somehow.

It's really great that the pharmaceutical industry has finally stepped up their flavor game for cough medicine. For years it was always cherry, grape or the occasional orange. Now they have finally come out with a pomegranate flavor to get with the times. Oh what's that? This isn't cough medicine, but rather an energy shot? Well that's unfortunate, because it tastes like medicine.

Energy shots by nature are gross, because it's all the chemicals concentrated. It is due to that, that this gets three bottles. If this was a normal energy drink I probably would have given it a one. This does not taste good, but it works, and the pomegranate blocks the chemical taste slightly...I guess.

As a pseudo-impulse buy I got a new laptop. I was at the store and I saw they had them cheap. The entire ride home was spent justifying to myself that I could afford it and that I needed a new computer. By the time I walked in the door I was convinced and walked right up to my computer that works perfectly fine and typed in newegg.com. I found a better computer for cheaper within a couple of minutes and after a bit of hemming and hawing, I bought it.

It's now a few days later and I have my new toy in front of me and I have just finished installing what I believe to be all the programs I need. I am now at the point of extreme frustration; getting Traktor to recognize my MIDI mixer for when I DJ. When I first set it up with my old computer I thought my head was going to explode. I convinced myself it would be easier this time, but nope. I'm sure I'll spend hours working on it and get extremely frustrated. I am at a fairly high level of frustration now. That is where this drink comes in.

Like a lot of functional drinks this tastes like some sort of melted down treat. In this case it's orange freezie pop with a medicinal aftertaste. It really isn't nearly as bad as I expected. It's actually kind of like Tang. I wonder if this is what astronauts drink to stay calm and focused. I feel like it's starting to kick in, so now back to my personal hell for the night.

I have a 500 button order due tomorrow so it looks like an all-nighter for me. Luckily I picked this energy shot up at Dollar Tree a couple weeks ago so I should be good to go. At first this wasn't that bad. I thought I had found yet another decent tasting energy shot. But then on the second sip the usual energy drink gross taste kicked in. Shortly after, it started tasting like a mix of cough syrup and melted popsicles. While I'm sure this is going to keep me awake, the taste is not great at all.

Much like the other flavor of Tweaker I had, this is pretty damn good. I don't like it as much as the grape, but in the world of energy shots it's definitely in the top tier as far as taste goes. This has a mixed berry taste to it, but has a little bit more chemical aftertaste than the grape did. It definitely works in the energy department as well. I was feeling a little sleepy here at Spiral Scratch but now I'm chair dancing to Crystal Castles.

Grape Kool-Aid. That's EXACTLY what this tastes like. Sure there's an aftertaste of nasty energy stuff that lingers in your mouth for a few minutes. But as many know, in the world of energy drinks (especially energy shots), it's hard to find one that doesn't taste like chemicals. Sure grape Kool-Aid isn't the greatest flavor of all time, but it's much better and tolerable than liquid death. I picked up a few different flavors of these energy shots at Dollar Tree last weekend. I feared them because Dollar Tree is usually the place where drinks go to die. This has renewed my faith in them and I look forward to trying the other flavors now.

Yesterday was my favorite day of the year; the first Friday of the Erie County Fair. I'm an old man and an outdoors kid at heart (yes it can both happen simultaneously) so I love the fair. To make things better the first Friday is the day of the annual llama fashion (costume) show. Llamas are pretty much the greatest things to ever exist and to watch kids parade them around in goofy costumes they made is just perfect. As per usual I took off from work and spent the entire day at the fair (11 hours). I came prepared with this energy shot to take to keep me up and moving (I didn't sit down for more than 3 minutes all day).

First off it smelled pretty terrible. It smelled like acai gone wrong. I had a couple friends take a nice big whiff and the disgust was present on the groups collected faces. I gave it a little taste, and it tasted only slightly better than it smelled. I was excited to have an organic energy drink. While it didn't taste gross in the chemical way it was far from good. I'm not a huger acai fan, but this was the worst I've ever had. I was disappointed because I've enjoyed everything else I have tried by this company, but this did not live up to my expectations. I would have probably given it a one bottle rating, but since it's an energy shot, and they never taste good by definition I will give it a two for being the first one I've had that didn't taste chemical.

John Lennon informed the world that, "Happiness is a Warm Gun." According to the Be Happy company he got it all wrong. Happiness is in fact a cherry cordial, or at least a weird chemical facsimile. That is exactly what this little 2oz shot tastes like. At first I thought it was kind of gross, but then I thought about the candy and it made it go down much smoother.

I can't relax when there are things that need to be done. My new apartment is almost totally put together now, but there is still a handful of things to do, so I'm still on edge. I had a busy day Friday and when I got home instead of relaxing I just started working again and getting annoyed. I decided I needed to calm down and relax and enjoy myself. I drank this and I have to say it worked. I felt much better. I decided I should watch a feel good movie, but instead put on the remake of I Spit on Your Grave. While it may not have been the family blockbuster I was looking for, movies like that prove to me that I am not completely desensitized, and I appreciate that.

Urban Dictionary defines 'tweaker' as:
1. Person who constantly stays up cleaning, washing, organizing, power tooling, sorting or otherwise keeping them-self busy doing menial tasks.
2. Someone who constantly makes slight alterations on (usually a very specific) object, i.e. computer, software, automobile, etc.
3. A compulsive liar, thief, or both.
4. A methamphetamine ("tweak"), or other form of speed, addict (who displays all of the above in an obsessive-compulsive manner).

I could understand wanting to associate your energy drink with the first definition. Keeping busy/being active/etc... is usually an after effect of drinking one. Maybe even #2, though that sort of sounds like borderline OCD.

Three and four though... that's where the lose me. Why someone would want to associate their delicious drink with being a liar, thief, or meth-head is beyond my comprehension. And yes, this is a delicious energy shot. I was surprised due to the name, but it has a really good grape taste and only a slight energy drink aftertaste. Other than the usual energy drink taste, this has a good grape juice flavor. I've only been drinking it for a minute or two but I already feel more energized and ready to get stuff done on this Sunday afternoon.

I've never had goji berry juice before. I've had things that have been flavored with goji, but nothing this strong. It was a really surprising upon first sip. It has a really rich flavor to it. Usually energy shots are kinda gross and it takes a lot to choke them down. While I'm not the biggest fan of goji berries, this is by far the best tasting energy shot I have ever had. On top of that, it's full of so much good stuff that I don't feel like I'm poisoning my body by drinking it. I think a less concentrated energy drink of this, with carbonated water added would taste amazing.

Hello everybody, we're reporting live from somewhere. I'm not sure where we are because I can't see a damn thing. I just got this promotion to news reporter last week and this is my first time in the field. They didn't tell me where they were taking me, just said it would be "unforgettable". Well I definitely won't forget standing outside in the middle of a hurricane. What's that? Oh this is considered a cyclone, but isn't yet a hurricane? Either way, it sucks! I wore my nice suit today because I wanted to look nice on camera and now this rain has ruined it.

Looking back to an hour ago, I should have known this was going to happen. Jim wouldn't let me see what the weather was like on the coast because he was being a jerk. Plus, he gave me this Cyclone energy shot and told me they were out of coffee. What kind of TV station runs out of coffee? That's absurd! That's what interns are for, to go to the store and get more coffee. But I digress...

This energy shot actually wasn't that bad. I had one once before when I was in college during finals week. It really worked! This one seems to be working too. The taste is pretty good too. It's like a tart cherry syrup flavor. Oh great, a tree branch just knocked the rest of the energy shot out of my hand. Luckily we weren't rolling. What? We've been live this whole time? I thought you were just checking your levels!? Great, now I'm going to get letters from people saying that I littered and my mom is going to think I'm on drugs. She thinks anything besides water is bad for you to drink. Okay, we're done here!

This is my 2nd time around with this energy shot. The first time I was testing it out to see if it was actually an "All Day" energy. Verdict: nope. About three hours after I drank it I was feeling a little tired. It worked well for a short period, but definitely not 'all day'.

Now the taste; kind of reminds me of sour berry cough syrup. It's not the worst energy shot I've had, but certainly not the best. Good thing it's small and the taste doesn't linger for too long.

Tommy, want to see something cool? My dad was in the army and I was snooping around his garage yesterday and found a grenade! It's a little smaller than I expected it to be, but they always make things look bigger in movies. What do you mean it's not a real grenade? So what if there are words on it? I just figured there are different models of grenades, just like guns. It's all about advertising and brand recognition.

Oh, I didn't see the ingredient list on the back. Wait, so this is an energy drink? And this is just a plastic wrapper that looks like a grenade? Man I feel like an idiot. It looks so lifelike though. Want to open it? No, I don't think it's going to blow up because the flavor is “fruit blast”. Why would they make an explosive energy drink? That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Have you ever had an energy shot before Tommy? No? Well, they usually taste gross. Imagine the taste of an energy drink condensed into a couple tablespoons. You're supposed to just chug them, hence why they are called “energy shots”. This one isn't too bad actually. It has a fruit punch taste to it. Yes Tommy, I know you love Hawaiian Punch. Come on Tommy, you don't need to show me your…€¦. okay, that Hawaiian Punch tattoo is actually pretty cool. Too bad this doesn't taste like Hawaiian Punch.

The whole time I was drinking this, I kept being tempted to throw it. It's just the perfect size to grip. Given that the packaging looks like a grenade, who wouldn't want to throw it?

Man, I'm tired. All I've been doing all day is sitting around in my boxers, refreshing the same 3 web pages. I have no direction in my life am bored all the time.

*ominous voice of a 3rd rate pro-wrestler* HEY MAN! I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, ENERGY 2000!!!!

Energy 2000? My mom told me to avoid energy drinks because she says they are a gateway to harder drinks like coffee.

DON'T BE A WIMP! THIS LITTLE DRINK WILL GIVE YOU THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO SUCCEED IN LIFE!

Ok! It says it's orange flavor, but it tastes like a diet version of the worst cough medicine ever.

STOP SIPPING IT AND CHUG IT! IT'S CALLED AN ENERGY SHOT FOR A REASON!

Ugh! That was vile! At least it's over now. I already feel energized, thanks ominous voice of 3rd rate wrestler.

YOU'RE WELCOME! NO ONE GIVES YOU ENERGY BETTER THAN ENERGY 2000!

Ok, I got the point. Can you stop yelling at me now?

NO I CAN'T! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN TALK!!

Ugh, then just leave and bring your gross energy shots with you.

ENERGY 2000! MORE ENERGY THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!

Jay and I love to ride bikes. Problem is that it's been raining like every single day for weeks and we can't do it. A few days ago, Jay and I went all over the place and ended up riding 28 miles. That may not be a lot for some, but it is to us. I've ridden in a couple benefit rides and clocked 60 miles before, but that doesn't happen when we're just cruising around.

Tonight, Jay, Thirsty Dudes editor Dan, and I rode around looking for some bike path. It should also be noted that it was 10:30 at night when we left, so it's not like we were taking some daytime stroll. Long story short, a train-yard got in the way and when we eventually got around it, we somehow made it closer to home than to some mystical bike path that we weren't sure existed in the first place. Total ride was about 18 miles.

On top of that, I did like 5 hours of gardening today by pulling up shrubs that I didn't want and cleaning up the leftover holes. Needless to say, I burned a couple calories and I knew that it would be time to break out one of my protein drinks.

This one I've been sitting on for quite some time and as phallic as it is, it still had to be done. I thought that it might be super sweet and maybe stingy with all the vitamins, minerals, and just plain stuff but I couldn't be more wrong. If you drank this without knowing was it was, like out of an unmarked Solo or Dixie cup, you would swear it was just some regular juice. I don't know about the citrus berry, but what I do know is that this drink smells and tastes like strawberry Twizzlers and that is fine with me.

Obviously I can't judge this based on it's supposed effects since I drank it one time and not regimented like it would probably ask for. If anyone has, I would love to hear your results. I know that if you're looking for some protein and can't take those shakes anymore, three rather delicious sips and you're done.

Ho-lee-crud does this stuff work. Let me tell you a story.

I have a son who is 3 months old. Currently, he is watching TV and is awesome. Yesterday...not so much. Screaming. I work outta-da-home Mondays and Tuesdays and I typically get about 4 or 5 hours worth of work. Yesterday he was a jerk. Yeah, he's three months and he was a three-month-old jerk. I might have gotten two bad hours of work done and he screamed for hours. I just kept saying, "He's only a baby. You can't get mad at him." all day. From about 7 - 9 he was screaming for some reason. I needed to calm down. I went into the stash, saw that little bottle, and knew it was time. Frankie says "Relax".

I drank it in two sips. First sip was a very berry taste with a little bit of diet and the second sip flipped but it was over before it started and we were off to the races. Literally, fifteen minutes later I felt as if I was holding 50-pound dumbbells in each arm. You know when you're sleeping and you don't want to move your arms when you just wake up? That's where I was. You know when your significant other asks you to get a glass of water at 3 in the morning because, apparently, their legs are broken and you respond with something like, "A goose is at the door. Wait...what? Yeah, water, sure." That's where I was, promptly.

I would have slept soundly if it wasn't for that meddling kid, but when I did fall asleep, I don't think that you could have woken me up with a cannon, and this was only the Relax drink. Also, if it needs to be said, I didn't have any strange dreams.

Seeing as none of the Thirsty Dudes drink alcohol we had our friend Ryan help us with this review. He got trashed and drank the bottle at the end of the night. This is the review he wrote:

In order to properly test this product, I felt it necessary to make sure I gave myself a pretty bad hangover. I know my body fairly well, and it doesn't like tequila. So, last night i started off with 2 pint sized margaritas, followed by 4 pints of beer. I figure the mixture would give me a sufficient hatred of my decisions in the morning.

When I got home I drank down the Gtox shot. I'd love to give an accurate review on what it tasted like but let's be serious, I don't quite remember. I vaguely recall it being a very watery tang-like flavor.

The true test results were when my alarm went off at 5:20 this morning and my head felt like Paul Bunyan took an axe to my cranium. There's that hangover I expected to have. I'm not really the puke-your-guts-out hangover type to begin with, so perhaps this stuff could help with that. But as for the headache, Advil and lots of water is still the best cure.

I doubt anyone is buying one these to drink for it's flavor, so I'd give it a one-bottle score for it's function.

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In order to follow through with the taste, as Ryan was too drunk to remember, it's citrus flavored. It really reminds me a lot of the original yellow Gatorade flavor. It has that same slight harshness on the back of your throat. Actually it's somewhere between Gatorade and a melted Freezee Pop. I don't mind the flavor at all. I will give it a three for flavor, since that's really what Thirsty Dudes is all about. Ryan stands by his one bottle for function though.

My sleep habits have been absolutely terrible lately. I blame this stupid cold that I got. It started with me waking up way early for no reason, and being completely awake for a few hours before exhaustion set it. As my sickness progressed I started waking up for periods of time in the middle of the night. Last night it got to the point where I just couldn't sleep. I forgot to pick up some more cold medicine, so I downed this little guy.

I think they forgot to list all of the ingredients on the packaging. I think that because I didn't see Rohypnol listed. If you didn't know Rohypnol is the clinical name for "roofies." I feel like it has to be in there, because I was wide-awake, I drank this bottle, I laid down and the next thing I knew it was 9:30am. This was the most effective "relaxation drink" that I have had yet. I was out pretty much instantly. It's a bit diety and medicinal tasting, but since it's only a shot I can deal with that for the effects it has. It doesn't taste like toxic sludge, but it's not something I would drink due to the taste.

If you're at a bar or party and you see these little bottles lying around don't drink those drinks. No one wants to wake up in a dude bros gross bed, or worse in a tub full of ice with a note that you're kidney has been removed. Beware the dark harvest!