Sports/Dietary Supplement - 535 Reviews

There certainly are a lot of "waters" out there. There being the rough streets of Drinkburg. New ones come out every week and although we, the Thirsty Dudes, try to keep up, we're only three incredibly attractive men in our early thirties who look better naked than you could ever imagine. We cannot do it. We do our best, don't get us wrong, but between Glaceau coming out with new lines bi-daily and people trying to keep up, we simply cannot do it. What we can do, which we do do (poop) is drink more than we should to make as much as a dent as possible so that we make it easier for you to make informed decisions on things that you don't really care. You think we don't get it? We know our worth. We know that no one cares about half the stuff we drink but you keep coming back because we offer that "wow" factor...or something.

Slop drinks aside, this is not slop. Quite on the contrary, this drink is both refreshing and delicious. Yeah, you've had kiwi strawberry and you've also probably also had strawberry kiwi drinks and this, albeit not revolutionary or daring, is very good at what it does. It's lightly sweetened, quite fruity, water or, as I like to call it, a friggin' juice. I don't know the difference between this and a juice. Did the word "juice" somehow become offensive like the day I woke up and the term "Mulatto" was racist? Seriously. I was taught that term in school and, yeah, I'm progressive enough to move forward as soon as someone tells me what happened in the last twenty years that made that word and the word "juice" bad words.

Potential racism aside, this drink is pretty great and something about the word "grin" actually makes me smile. I feel like I don't hear it anymore. I need more grins, this drink, and a list of words I cannot use since I learned them in school and that's all I need. Oh, and this paddle game! And that's all I need.

I'm sorry, sir. Did you give my son a lime with a razor blade in it for Halloween? I swear to God that if you did I am going to take the razor out of the lime and slice your throat. No, you listen to me. I thought that was just a scary thing we told kids to not take things from strangers but now that it's out in the open and people are doing it, I don't know what to do as a parent. I tried to move to a nice part of town and into a place where I my kids are safe, or at least I thought my kids would be safe. No, I'm not done talking. You come into this town thinking you can get away with this stuff. Don't you know there is a block club where we talk about stuff like this? Fine. What do you have to say for yourself, you scum?

You what? Don't you lie to me! I'm a very powerful mother with four kids and will not take any of your garbage. You gave them what? A drink? My son Danny told me you gave him a lime with a razor blade in it. Danny, you told me. No. I explicitly heard...Oh it was like a lime with a razor blade in it. Do you have any more? Jesus, you're right. It tastes like lemon lime pop but the carbonation is actually sharp. You said this is diet, too? Eh, it's not too bad and I'm always drinking diet stuff.

Mister. I'm very sorry. You have to see it from my point of view, though. If you heard that your kid had gotten something with a razor blade in it, you would freak out, too, and rightfully so. I'm sorry. Please come to our next block club meeting and I'll bake you some cookies. Have a good night and I hope I didn't scare away your trick or treaters. Then again, that's the point of Halloween, right? Ha. Could I have another bottle of that, please? It's pretty good. I'll toss in another dozen cookies. Thank you. Hey! There is a razor blade floating in this drink! Eh, I guess I deserved it. I was a real jerk to him, Danny.

Thank you for coming to the 3 o'clock show of The Great Blastino! I hope you all enjoyed the past 20 minutes of magic and illusions. We have time for one final trick, The Miraculous VBlast! In this trick I will turn an ordinary bottle of water in a vitamin packed treat with a light purple hue.

For this trick I will need a volunteer from the audience. Yes you, you will do nicely. Will you please come up here and inspect this bottle. Feel free to taste it. Can you confirm that this bottle is full of nothing but ordinary water? Yes? Good. Now let me return the cap, say the magic words, BolognaOnPastrami! Now you will notice that the fluid in the bottle has changed in color. Please take another sip and tell us how it now tastes. Ahh yes, you say it has a nice light grape candy flavor, but in a diety sort of way. You would be correct. You will also be happy to know that you just received a mouthful of crucial vitamins in a fun and interesting way.

Now folks magicians aren't supposed to reveal their secrets, but truth be told I actually am an employee of the VBlast Corporation and this entire performance was put together as a marketing technique to introduce you to our newest vitamin drink. You see it truly was just a bottle of spring water; the vitamins are all stored in the cap, which once you twist it causes the contents to drop into the water. All you need to do then is shake it up and enjoy. Bottles are available for sale in the lobby. I will also be out shortly to sign autographs.

Pomegranate Lychee, huh? Yeah, I'll take it. Deliver it to my mouth; right in there. Wait...I asked for pomegranate lychee but you just gave me pomegranate. Sir? I'm sorry, sir? I asked for pomegranate lychee and you just gave me pomegranate. You're saying it is in there? Well I don't really taste it. I guess if I give you the benefit of the doubt and said that I might taste it at the very end but not so much as to call it out on the bottle. I will say, that is a fine bottle you've got there, sir. It's a shame that most people will throw it out and most of those people will not recycle it. Aforementioned issues aside, this is a good, sparkling drink. It's fruity and the fizziness gives it a nice touch. You've done a wonderful job even though you mislead me a tad with the whole "there is lychee in here" thing. We're over that now, though. We're bros again.

Glaceau, home of Vitamin Water and Smart Water, has decided to try its hand at sparkling beverages. When the dealer passed out the cards things we're looking good for them, but their hand just wasn't strong enough to make something spectacular. On first sip I thought this had the potential to be something like a Clearly Canadian, but then the sucralose kicked in and everything went downhill. Does anyone on this planet actually think that sucralose is acceptable? I mean I know people deal with it, but with stevia hitting the market, why would a company that uses real sugar in one of its other product lines use such a low level zero calorie sweetener? Next thing I know they'll be using aspartame. Ick.

Okay, so the base of this tastes like a nice light, non-syrupy raspberry soda (if such a thing exists). It's quite pleasant until the sweetener kicks in. With a different sweetener this could have been all the rage in my world. As it stands I didn't' finish the bottle.

If you are one of those imaginary people that actually like sucralose, I highly suggest you check this out. If not, stay away.

There are times when we here at Thirsty Dudes get a lot of different flavors of the same product. At first we get really excited, and have fun with the reviews. Obviously we drink the flavors we are the most excited about early on, which leaves us with the flavors we couldn't care less about, or those that we actually fear drinking. These tend to be our shorter reviews that are straight forward and boring to write and to read.

This is the last bottle of Spartos that I have left. I'm not sure if the other guys have any other flavors to review, but this depletes my stock. I was not looking forward to this at all. While I like natural coconut water, when the flavor is mixed into other drinks it usually spells bad news for me. Add to that some zero calorie sweetener and whey protein and to me, that is a disaster waiting to happen.

It's nice to be wrong sometimes. This ended up being my favorite of the Spartos line. The strawberry and the whey protein mixed together nicely like a fancy dessert. Well, it's not as sweet as all that, but the stevia does do a nice job without tasting too off. You can tell it's there, but it's not running the show. That's all strawberries and cream. If I didn't know it was in here, I would never even think there was coconut in here, but as a child I learned that knowing is half the bottle, and I can taste it a bit. Luckily it's like a nice faint coconut water, and not some toasted garbage.

With this I bid you adieu Spartos. Maybe I'll see you again someday if you expand your line. I wish you the best, as you've made a handful of protein drinks that are interesting, and not chalky as all hell.

Did you know that Poland Spring is from an actual town in Maine, and obviously not from the country of Poland? I really hope you didn't think it was from Poland, because I'm sure it would cost more than $.30 per bottle if it were, you know with duties and taxes and all. Now don't you feel stupid?

Did you also know that Poland Spring is owned by Nestle? On top of that they own a buttload of other bottled water brands, which include Arrowhead, Calistoga, Deer Park, Ice Mountain, Ozarka and Zephyrhills. It's all crazy go nuts university in here.

Since these are all regional brands I wonder if any of the other brands are also releasing a "Nature's Blends" line? I'd be okay with that. This is a fairly simple beverage. It's water, cane sugar and white grape/raspberry juice concentrate. It has a decent fruit flavor, but I could do with even less sugar in it. I am a crotchety old man after all. There is only 5% juice in here, but they label it as spring water with real juice beverage, so it's okay. Basically it tastes like Vitamin Water without all the vitamins. It's really ridiculous that Vitamin Water has become my basis for comparison for so many drinks, but it's out there and everyone knows it. So there you have it.

Now that I have finally had my ingredients-in-cap virginity taken, I am really enjoying these drinks. I think I just enjoy interacting with a drink and watching it change colors. I guess that's the inner child in me who just likes to watching things magically change before my eyes. If I could rate the drink on how much fun I had in those couple seconds, I would give it a 5.

Unfortunately, the taste is the majority of this arbitrary review system that we made up. Mentally I feel great drinking this due to the obscene amount of vitamins, minerals, and electrolytes. As far as the taste goes, it's just "okay". It's not mine blowing, but it's not horrible. This is a classic middle of the road vitamin water. I will echo Jason's suggestion that selling the caps of these to put in your own water bottle would be a great idea.

What we have here is a bottle of water, reverse osmosis water. On top of that bottle site a little cap full of secrets, or are they mysteries? No, I'm fairly certain they are secrets that it will whisper in your ear if you ask in the right way. By the right way I mean if you look at their website, or just take the time to read the label. The secret is that within the cap is syrup that contains 9 vitamins, 84 ionic mineral, 5 electrolytes and some naturally zero calorie sweetened fruit punch flavoring. You add that all up, with some strange math, and that gives you 989. I'd like to say I'm sorry to the folks at the company that I told your secret to the entirety of the internet, but if they are smart enough to read this, then I think they could have read the label.

All you do is twist the cap one-way, and the syrup drops into the water. You just shake it up, twist the cap the other way and you have a nice little beverage to get you through your day. I will say that it is strange having a zero calorie fruit punch. All of my life I've thought of that type of beverage as a sweet syrupy hell that is produced solely for children. 989 challenge that mindset with their use of stevia. It's fruit punch for adults, and I'm okay with that. It's light with a classic fruit punch flavor. Most of this turn cap vitamin drinks have a base that tastes like Flintstone chewable vitamins. The stevia in this counteracts that flavor, and you get a natural diet fruit punch drink that you don't have to feel terrible about drinking.

One suggestion to the company, have you ever considered selling just the caps for people to put on any old bottle of water? Think about the money you would save on shipping, not to mention everything else. Let's face it; water is water, no matter how you talk it up. It's the cap contents that really matter. That is all.

I have a confession to make: this is the first "ingredients in the cap" drink I have had. I know this isn't a big deal to most people, but I feel ashamed admitting this as a 'Thirsty Dude'. It's almost the equivalent of me saying I never had an aloe drink before. Actually, if that was the case Mike and Jay would probably suspend me from the website. Give me a week off to think about what I did, like I was a delinquent kid who stole his parents golf clubs.

The liquid comes out brown when you unscrew the cap, which was kind of unsettling at first. I'll be honest it looked like diarrhea. Sorry to get that image in your head. Once it mixes with the water, it looks just like peach tea so that initial thought gets flushed away. The peach flavor is quite strong and luckily the sucralose doesn't obscure the taste too much. In fact, for a sugar free drink this is quite sweet. If I had to guess I would have thought it was sweetened with sugar.

The only thing that's disappointing is the lack of much of a tea flavor. There is "tea essence" in this, which sounds like someone sprinkled some tea flakes on top. It tastes closer to vitamin water than peach tea. Since there are lots of vitamins in this, and the base is spring water, this isn't that far fetched.

I haven't even opened this drink yet and I'm already both terrified and excited. Look at the list of random ingredients on the front of the bottle:

• Ashwagandha


• Yerba Mate


• Tulsi


• Turmeric


• Ginger


• Cardamom


• Spearmint


• Coconut Nectar


• Coconut Oil


• Lemon


• Sea Salt


• Black Pepper


• Cinnamon

I opened this up and it literally looked like curry. So much turmeric floating at the top Then I gave it a smell and it smelled like curry with a good amount of cinnamon and ginger. After reading that long list of ingredients I thought for sure one of them was going to stand out, but it's literally a wave of different tastes. One sip the ginger and cinnamon stood out, but the next the black pepper burned my lips. As far as weird drinks go, this is at the top of the list.

The problem is, I don't know whether I love it or hate it. It's definitely a sipping drink. Unless you are a masochist, I wouldn't advise you drink this in one shot. I'm sure this drink is really good for you, but I don't think I could stomach drinking the whole thing.

If I know anything about the Greek alphabet, which in actuality is very little, then this is the end drink. The drink that will either bring about the end of humanity, or else it will be the only drink that survives the impending apocalypse. Hopefully it's the second option, because besides the fact that it has a very nice light berry flavor, it also has a lot of health benefits that would prove to be beneficial in an end of the world type scenario. It's chock full of omega 3, fiber, calcium and antioxidants, and we all know that the lack of antioxidants is what is going to bring on the decimation of our planet.

This is the first chia drink I have tried that does not have whole chia seeds in it. This is nothing but liquid, so I've you're concerned about chunks or texture, this won't be an issue for you. It also has salvia in it. I think you have to smoke it for it to have hallucinatory effects, so don't go wasting the world's last source of fluid trying to get high. It just won't work kids, and then you'll dehydrate and die…€¦a dried out husk.

I have had these drinks where you turn the cap one way and magic comes out and then you turn it the other way and the cap comes off. I like them. They are fun. Until now the color of the dust that comes out is the color that you would expect. Strawberry drink? Red or pink dust. Lemon lime drink? Green dust. I turned this expecting a dust and was given a dark brown liquid. I'm not saying it was gross but it was unexpected. You know when you're at home and sometimes you turn on the water and the water is a little yellow and you have to let it run for a bit to clear itself out? It's like that except this won't poison you like old pipes might. The nice thing about the liquid is that you barely have to shake it. I know there are a couple Elaine Benes' out there that hate shaking things so I feel the need to point it out. Give it one quick jiggle and you're done for the rest of your life. The taste is a little different than I expected, though. If you sold this to me as an apple juice, I might say, this is a pretty fruity apple juice. It's the same color as apple juice and tastes a bit like apple juice. The more you drink it the more convinced you are that it is kiwi strawberry. It's hard to say if this tastes like "real" kiwis and strawberries or if it's something with the aftertaste of the Stevia leaving it with a bitterness that I actually like. This drink is a regular enigma. I like it. Keep it up, 989.


EDIT:
We got this note from the company, so that explains the color:
"I just want to explain the reasoning behind the coloring on Kiwi Strawberry. Out of all of our flavor, Kiwi Strawberry color changes the fastest. All of our coloring are ALL NATURAL and hence they do tend to change colors after some time. If you try any of the other flavor, you will see that their colors are much more vibrant."

Think of every fruit you've ever eaten and then put it in a drink. Simple as that? No. I'm sure there are countless composition notebooks over at Ralph and Charlie's house filled with just the perfect ratio of all of them. Oh, you want a roll call? You got it, Chuck.

1. Banana
2. Orange
3. Apple
4. Lemon
5. Pineapple
6. Grape
7. Tangerine
8. Apricot
9. Peach
10. Passion Flower
11. Mango
12. Kiwi
13. Guava

Seriously. They're all in there. It's a great drink, too. It doesn't really have any star players which is a feat in itself. It's well sweetened and although I don't think I can drink any more, it's because it's a generous bottle, not because it's bad. It's pretty acidic but expected and welcomed. This is not a juice for wimps. If you want a serious juice, like juice with a tie on, this is for you. There is no messing around. Ralph and Charlie should be given gift cards to Jos. A. Bank since they are so fancy with their juices. Someone buy these guys a nice new pair of slacks because this just is oh so serious.

A great thing about Vuka is that they specifically formulate their different energy drinks for different activities. They know that if you're staying up for an all night study marathon, you don't need a bunch of taurine or other chemical garbage junking up your drink giving you the jitters. You want to stay awake and to be able to concentrate at the same time. For this Think variety they use natural caffeine, gingko biloba, panax ginseng, same bitartrate as well as niacin and B-vitamins. Their other flavors use different ingredients and it certainly shows. The Renew Mango Peach gave me crazy energy and a bit of the old jitters, but with this one I don't feel insane at all. I just feel alert, and it's helped me get through a bunch of things I was not looking forward to on my to-do list.

The functional side of this energy drink is absolutely perfect. Unfortunately the flavor side of it doesn't come through as much. I'm all for stevia being used as a natural zero calorie sweetener, but from the taste of this it seems like they went overboard with it. It's like whoever was adding it to the batch got distracted by a dirty joke and accidentally dumped too much in whilst laughing. It's supposed to be pomegranate lychee flavored, but the pom flavor is very mild and I don't really get any of the old lady flavors of lychee in here at all. Mostly it's just the cold taste of stevia. I will say that the more I drank the less I thought it was gross, but it's certainly not my favorite tasting thing by any means. I would drink it again and power through the flavor to get the functionality out of it though.

I don't hate the idea of working out but there are one hundred things I would rather be doing or have to do before I go work out. Therefore I never drink protein drinks because drinking them with no need for additional protein doesn't make much sense. No one is going to prefer the taste of a protein drink to a regular drink. No one. People that drink them have an understanding of the way they taste and that's fine. It's what they expect. This though, this kind of holds hands with both parties. It's not a bad drink as far as drinks go and although it has a lot of protein in it, it's only slightly dense. The flavors are good. There is a little bit of bitterness from the pomegranate and sweetness from both. It's got a bit of a tangy aftertaste that I am going to attribute to the protein but hey, 80% isn't that bad. It passed its math final. Now if it can only make sense of pro-nouns, adjectives, subjects, and predicates it can pass the language final.

While I love pineapples and all the juice they contain, it is sometimes nice to have it cut with another juice. If it's not a mixture of general tropical flavors, the go to for most companies is orange. It's a good choice. Oranges are great, but they are so common that people take them for granted. Mixed with pineapple they help cut down on the acidity that can make it painful to drink a lot of pineapple juice, and the oranges benefit from the pineapple flavor to make it stand out more amongst it's peers. I wonder how apple would work mixed it. I mean sure it would look silly on the packaging written out, but I bet if they used quality apples it would taste like liquid gold. Apple Pineapple or Pineapple Apple? They both sound ridiculous.

Unfortunately for all involved there isn't any actual juice in this bottle of Spartos, unless it's trace amounts under the banner of “natural flavors.” Actually no, small on the label it is written “no fruit juice.” It's a shame because while this is a decent drink (an even more decent drink considering that it is a fruity protein drink), but flavor-wise it falls close to Tang with a slight dairy edge. A citrus based tropical flavor, that is not quite orange or pineapple. The use of fruit juice would have solved that problem. Then again this is a water beverage and not juice, so that obviously wasn't what they were going for. It's just what I wish they had done. Don't get me wrong. I would rather drink this over 90% of the protein shakes on the market. Sometimes you just need to take the rough with the smooth.

I'm not wonderful with energy drinks, usually because I run myself on "E" a lot of the time. It's how I keep my slender figure. One thing you don't do is drink one on an empty stomach, which I idiotically did, and go and get the shakes like an idiot. I feel like my fingers typing this review are going faster than my brain wants to send down the commands for the words. It's probably bottlenecking in my stomach where the fantastic taco I just ate is residing temporarily.

Shakes aside, and let's be honest, that was my fault. This isn't a bad drink at all. It's fruity and is defiantly more "berry" than "lemonade" but I'm not really complaining. If you are on the "hater" side of the fence when it comes to Stevia and friends, you might and probably won't like this drink. It's not as bad as it could be but there is a prompt and abrupt interruption when you are enjoying the berry lemonade of it. The sparkling bit of it is a nice touch.

My history of sports is as follows; I grew up with friends who loved sports. We lived on a cul-de-sac and played football, hockey, and did it all the time. I was never good but loved playing with my friends. The older I got, the more I accepted the fact that I don't care about sports. Not that I didn't enjoy playing, but there were other things that I liked doing, like music. I started playing music in between plays on a drum machine that I still have. So from that point on, I felt that sports drinks just weren't for me. I would never get as much out of them as the rest of my friends did. Yeah, anyone can drink Gatorade but it's not made for me.

Fast-forward to fifteen years later and I still don't play sports but I work on a drink review site where I drink all sorts of drinks that "aren't for me." This drink would be enough to make most couch potatoes want to pick up a racket and sweat it out on the court. The mix between the cherry and the pomegranate are totally fantastic and I wish I had more. It's a water type drink that has a dark fruit taste. I've often got an issue with cherry where it tastes a bit medicinal but this has none of that. This drink is sixteen ounces of pleasure.

I don't hate sports. I don't play sports. I don't pay attention to sports. I was disappointed when our city's hockey team's goalie dropped his limited edition ice cream flavor. That's as passionate as I get with sports. I am missing out on the bond people have where they sit together and talk about this guy and that team and all that other stuff. I would rather sit down and play video games with friends and talk about bands no one cares about. I think I can say the same for Jay and Derek.

Ben, look at those annuals over there. Can we get a couple of those hanging baskets? No, the yellow ones and the blue ones. Yeah those will look nice in the front. Should we do mulch? I know it's a lot of work but you only need to do it once. I know you need to kick the mulch in every once in a while but those are the things you need to do to keep a nice looking yard. No, roses are too much work. They look great for about three weeks out of the year and then they just get wily. Do you want to do any vegetables in the back? We've got the space and it's not like we are not going to eat them. It's fun to go back there and say, "Oh hello tomato."

I love it back here in the garden department, Ben. I wish that I could just bottle it up and keep it with me. The smell of soil, dirt, flowers, trees, mulch and so on. I love it. I want it. What Ben? You have heard of a drink that is like that? Wait, a drink? You drink it? When I said, "bottle it up" I meant just so I could open it up and it smells like this garden center. I don't want to drink the smell. That implies that I am drinking molecules of manure, dirt, and thistles. I don't think that I want that. Is that what it tastes like? Oh, thank God. What does it taste like? Lemon lime? Eh, I don't know if I would have gone that route. Now that we are talking about this I want to try it. You have it in the car? Oh, great. Let's get those hanging baskets, some of these packs of vegetable seeds, and cash out.

This is the drink? It's in a nice bottle. I'll try some. Ooooh man...that smell. Remember when I said that I wanted to bottle up the garden center, I might have just immediately regretted saying that. The garden center should be a treat unto itself. You shouldn't be able to harness the smell of anything because there is a time and a place and that time and place is exclusively limited to the time you are inside of the garden center. The taste isn't so bad but it's thicker than regular juice or any of those waters. It's probably the chia seeds all ground up and hidden. Really, Ben? This is a chia seed drink? They really must have ground them up good because I don't taste any of them. All I taste is lemon lime genericness and the smell of a plastic garden center. Ben, I like you, I like our future garden. I do not like this drink. Let's go get our hands dirty and do some mulch.