United States - 4098 Reviews

It's Thanksgiving and the holiday season is officially upon us. Celebrate this dreary time of your with us and a bottle of carbonated eggnog. You know you want to. If it helps any it's not thick and gross like real eggnog, it's more like a spicy cream soda.

The weather has turned to turd soup, but you aren't going to let that down. You gather up some provisions, and your significant other and head out to the local botanical gardens for a mid winter picnic. Sure, the gardens look down upon people taking their meals at their establishment, but that's nothing that a twenty slipped to the security guard can't take care of.

Everything is going perfectly. You're surrounded by wonderful green foliage, and the temperature is in the mid 80's inside the dome. No, not “Under the Dome.” I don't know how Brian K Vaughn got mixed up in that train wreck. He's better than that, and his comic writing proves it. Speaking of along with some sandwiches, veggies and hummus you also brought along the last few issues of Saga, for your lover to catch up on as you just sit back and enjoy the escape from winter as you sip on the tea you brought along. You spent a little time making it at home. You brewed it in this big kettle over the fireplace. You wanted to be romantic, and why waste the energy from the stove when you have a perfectly good fire roaring? You brewed some nice green tea in that kettle and added a little honey to sweeten it up. Okay you added a decent amount of honey, and it is very obvious when you taste it. It has the heaviest honey taste out of any tea you've ever made. Apparently at some point during your outing a single hibiscus leaf fell into the tea. It's weird because it gave it a bit of flavoring, but since it doesn't' have cinnamon or other spices in it, it tastes different to other hibiscus teas you've tasted. It's a great tea though to go along with a great outing to make you forget about the weather outside.

That is exactly what will run through your mind grapes as you drink a bottle of this tea. Either that or I am just a true weirdo who envisioned that while driving through the Canadian countryside on a blustery night.

First let's look at the pros:
This is a non-carbonated energy drink. While it's not entirely novel, but it's a nice option regardless. On top of that it is also an iced tea energy drink. Something about that makes it seem more natural, even though there are unnatural things afoot. The sugar content is on the lower side for these types of drinks, which is always appreciated. The final plus is that it doesn't taste like a typical energy drink. The weird chemical candy taste is not present at all. When companies can achieve that, they get my attention.

Now on to the cons:
This smells like a cheap lemon flavored iced tea, and the taste is right there as well. This tastes like it should be a close relative to Brisk. While that may be a very good thing for some people, I personally am not a fan of that fake tea taste. In fact, this doesn't taste like a “half and half” at all. There is no classic lemonade flavor in this can, it's just an overly lemon iced tea. Again, perhaps that's good for some, but I'm not on board. The final con is that along with the glucose this also has sucralose in it. That is the reason for the lower levels of sugar, but it also takes the flavor down a notch as you get hints of diet occasionally.

There it is. Take these lists and decide for yourself if this is the kind of thing you want to put in your body or not. I personally did not make it through the entire can.

If you drink this fast enough, you can actually drink "through" the diet. It's true. Using our inherent ability to chug, you can actually ingest this drink so fast and with so much speed and disregard to your esophagus that you can out-run the diet.

Why would you do that? Well because if you sip it, it's pretty gross. It's just a super carbonated raspberry drink. It is strange that you can bypass the worst part of the drink. Like skipping the worst track on a record, or not eating dinner and going straight to dessert.

The taste, diet aside, isn't bad. It's like a less "dark," less syrupy black raspberry pop that has zero calories and isn't vile. Is that a win? It's got to be better than some of the black raspberry pop's I've had. Some of those blow. Trust me.

Ahh, the joys of simplicity for simplicities sake. It leads to a world where you get exactly what you expect, with no wildcards in the mix. Suja understand this, so for this juice the only ingredients are carrot, apple, celery, cucumber, beet and lemon. Six simple fruits and vegetables all juiced together into a whole that is as delicious as it is nutritious. I suppose that could mean that it tastes like dog food and isn't healthy at all, but I assure you this rides the other side of the spectrum.

All of the ingredients play a role in the flavor. The apples serve as a nice sweet base, the lemon adds a nice bit of tartness to the ending and it has a nice earthy flavor to it due to the carrots, cucumbers and beets. The celery rides the top of the flavor, but it's not nearly as strong as it is in other cold pressed juices I have tasted. I appreciate that they chose to dull it down, as it normally tends to be too intense and distracting.

Drinking healthy tastes and feels great. We should all really do it more often.

Why is it these days that when energy drink companies decide to make add a diet version to their line that uses either erythritol or stevia it has a fruit punch flavor? Why not just go with your flagship flavor, and not something that is not a staple in your line? Are people out there really clamoring so much for new fruit punch drinks, especially those of the diet variety?

This isn't all that terrible for a diet fruit punch, but as a friend pointed out, if you can't take the sugar, leave the punch on the shelf. It doesn't matter how many pennies you throw in the wishing well, it will never taste the way you want it to. Luckily for everyone involved this is a Hawiian Punch style fruit punch, but more of the classic not a mouthful of syrup variety.

Here are a few final thoughts for you that are a bit disjointed. Fruit punch is a beverage for children. Children shouldn't consume energy drinks. Energy drinks shouldn't be flavored like fruit punch. Diet and fruit punch have no place together. This doesn't make me want to die drinking it, yet I stand by my previous statements.

Enough. Enough, I say. Things have gotten out of control in my kingdom. I leave for two weeks with the queen to the seaside and when I return things are in shambles. I left all of you in charge and you have forsaken me. There are chickens running rampant for one. I stepped in chicken eggs and poop on my way up the stairs and there have never been chickens in the castle unless it was in the kitchen on their way to become dinner. The men are growing their hair out both on their heads and on their faces and they look like the cavemen that roamed our fine earth before us. More importantly, though, I would like to bring up someone's bright idea to marry our fine tea with flowers and sugar because they deserve to have their name and "guillotine" in the same sentence.

"What's wrong with it?" Well where do I start? It was a fine, red tea that we brought in from our trip to China to trade. The flowers, what did you say were in there? Chamomile and lavender? Look, the chamomile was fine. It was a nice relaxing tea but the lavender turned it into one of those baths that we take once a month. That or something we give the children to ease their throats when they are ill. That or a candle. Now all of these I could possibly take if it weren't for the sweetener that you have used. I have surveyed the sugar farmers and they said that they did use their sweetener but they also said that used something called Stevia. Now, I appreciate you using your skills as budding scientists to make new things but I might have to ratchet that down to things like alloys for armor and, I don't know, something crazy like air in the tires so that you don't feel every bump on those hard, wooden rims. It's too sweet and you know how I, the king, loves his sweets.

My faithful town, you have done me wrong and that is why the queen and I do not take trips. Now, to make things right, you must catch all the chickens, put most of them back in their cages and we shall have a triumphant feast in celebration of the dear queen and my return. That and that the food in Florida was quite bad.

Honey, it's so nice out here at the hotel pool. I know I've been depressed, even during our vacation. It's just that it's been really tough at work and I feel like everyone is coming down on me. It's nice to just relax and sit with my feet dangling in the pool with my sunglasses on, the sound of the ocean in the background, babes in bikinis...what? We're on vacation! Don't think I didn't see you turning it on when we were at the bar last night. We're just here to have fun and unwind, right? Right.

Oh, what's this? Aloe and iced green tea? That sounds pretty good. Honey, um, why is that kid looking across the pool at me doing that fingers to eye thing like Robert Di Niro does in all those Focker's movies? Do you think he heard my remark about fat kids wearing shirts in pools? I think he did. What's he doing? Oh...oh no. He's going to do a cannonball. Ahhhh!!!!!

Oh come on, kid. I'm finally relaxing and you got me all wet. I know it's a pool but sometimes you just want to dangle your feet. I am not an old man. I'm thirty one. What a jerk. He got pool water all over me and, oh man, he got it in my drink. I'm sorry, honey. I saw him coming and I should have covered my drink. Well maybe he didn't get that much in there. Let me see. Bleh, he did the damage. This tastes exactly like you would expect it to. It tastes like aloe green tea with pool water in it. The green tea is trying to poke his little head out and you can taste it and you can taste and see the aloe bits but then that strange, plastic, chemical water taste is there to ruin it.

You know what, honey? I think I'm just going to go up to the room and see what's on TV. Now all I can think about is Meet The Fockers and I think I would like to do that. You go turn that charm on and get yourself a free drink. Sorry I'm such a pretty literal wet blanket. If I'm sleeping, wake me up for dinner. I want a sloppy joe.

With every sip I am enticed by the smell, but to drink this is really nothing more than a red tea that has a hint of cinnamon. Just a hint. No burn, just more of an infused cinnamon scent. It's not "sweet" either. I understand when they say "sweet cinnamon" and this smells it a bit but taste wise is just kind of like someone made a cup of tea and put a cinnamon stick in it. Look, this doesn't suck. It's calming, but from the smell I took yesterday and the actual sip I took today, ehhhhhhhhhh I wanted a little more. Just a little more spice, you know? Spice. That sweet cinnamon spice. Call me greedy, but I just want more. I'll drink more tea, believe you me, but I want more flavor.

James had a rough day. He couldn't pinpoint what was wrong but he was in a bad mood. His boss noticed and asked him to come out behind the office. James reluctantly went back and his boss handed him boxing gloves. He put them on and his boss hit his gloves against James' and it was on. A couple right jabs and left hooks later and they were both sitting in the parking lot a little more bruised than they were five minutes prior. James thanked his boss for letting him blow off some steam and when he did, his boss handed him a bottle of tea.

James looked at it, cracked it open, and took a big chug. He was instantly calm. It was a slightly sweetened tea with a hint of mint. It was sweetened with honey and it was so lightly flavored that you could taste it. The black tea was strong and everything was well proportioned. James could finally relax with a black eye in the parking lot with his boss who had some slightly bruised ribs. James was fixed. Every couple months they would look at each other when they were having a bad day and just have at each other in the parking lot. It kept them together as friends and kept the office working smoothly. An odd work environment indeed, but it worked.

Holy greens Batman! The freshness in this tea is absurd. The flavor is as if you picked some tealeaves from the plant and started chomping away on them. That's right this raw tea tastes like plants. Whether that is a good thing or not depends on you, the drinker. I know this would be a huge turnoff to a lot of people out there, but at the same time I understand the allure for others. I'm personally not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I appreciate the freshness and think it's great that such a thing exists, but on the other I kind of feel like a bully held me down and made me eat grass. I'm going to guess that most of you out there are going to pass on this product after reading this review, but for you adventurous ones out there, I say give it a shot. Who knows, maybe it will be your thing.

Okay I need a bit of clarification here from the company. Is Plan Tea supposed to be like “Plan B,” said so it sounds like you're saying “plenty” or is it supposed to mean something along the lines of “plan on emptying your wallet because the tea you are about to drink it excellent and you will want to buy all the store has to offer.”?

I can back two of those ideas. I certainly don't know what plan A is if this is the backup, but I would certainly like to find out, because this is an excellent showing of extremely slightly sweetened green tea, with a nice light mango flavor. There's just enough honey in it that it tastes vaguely sweet without losing the bitterness that is essential to the green tea flavor. It tastes like tea I brew for myself at home, and then let cool in the fridge, except it's of a higher quality leaf than what I normally purchase.

As for the “plenty” thought, I personally can be a glutton and at the end of the 16oz I could have drank more. Maybe they are saying that you will want plenty more, because this tea is so good.

The last possibility is the one I understand the most. I am kicking myself for not purchasing more of these when I came across them in NYC. Unfortunately they are not available yet in Western New York. If you do end up buying a bunch you can feel good about doing so because 5% of their net sales are donated to Trickle Up, a non profit organization that helps in the fight against global poverty.

It's been a few years since I've had a Frostie root beer. It's not like Old Man Winter on the bottle and I had a falling out or anything, it's just not readily available in Buffalo, and while I'm traveling I'm always looking for something new. Cut to me entering the Village Beer Merchant in Buffalo with a friend and I see this little guy peaking out of the cooler. Interest piqued.

From the picture on the bottle this would appear to be root beer float flavored. While that sounded interesting, it also seemed a little gross. I don't want dairy in my sealed soda. Lucky for everyone involved it's more of a root beer …€“ cream soda hybrid that is very heavy on the cream soda side of things. It tastes like vanilla extract rather than vanilla ice cream, and the results are excellent. I would actually say this is 70% cream soda and 30% root beer. Keep that in mind because if you go into this wanting a strong root beer you will be sorely disappointed.

Now there are two different versions of their regular root beer the cane sugar one and the HFCS one. It's not shocking that the cane sugar one is superior in every way. This unfortunately is sweetened with corn syrup, so it's a bit on the thicker side. I can only hope that I come across a cane sugar version some day and fall in love even more.

Pomegranates? Love them. I just found out that fifty percent of my boss' do not like pomegranates. What's not to like? Is it the work? There are a couple tricks but I think, like most things, if you put forth some time and effort, the reward, in this case little exploding balls of juice, they pay off. I don't know what his problem is about pomegranates.

Geraniums? I've had chrysanthemum tea before so what's a geranium got that's any different?

I thought this would be a light floral tea but I was a bit off. It's teetering on the fence between light flavored water and grandma bathwater. I am giving it the benefit of the doubt because I think this was a bit expensive. I don't want to spend like three dollars on a drink and be wishy-washy on it. Therefore, not bath water.

Tasting it with the grain of salt I have given it, it's not too bad. It tastes like a pomegranate flavored water with a hint of floral stuff mixed in for fun. It is as good as that can be. It's different and I feel like big companies don't play with flavors like this. Jay drank the grapefruit lilac and gave it a top rating. I wish I could have drunk it because I find this a bit lacking.

It's a little known fact that later in life Chuck Darwin got really into juice. He'd get up in the morning, theorize a bit to work up a thirst and then just juice the hell out of everything he could get his hands on. It was the 1800's so there were many a disease to be staved off, and good ole Chuck knew that juice would be a good way to stay healthy. He started off small; you know apples, grapes, pears and the like. Then he realized the only way to achieve greatness was to evolve, you know like man from apes. So it was that this wonderful juice evolved from the idea of smashing up a bunch of apples to drink them.

I personally don't think juice could evolve past this point. Cucumbers, pineapple and ginger are three of the tastiest foodstuffs this world has ever seen. When you mix them together in your mouth it's like all of the apes in the world suddenly stood up straight and said, “Excuse me sir, but I would really love to try that.” This juice is that good that it evolves primates instantly. What other juice can boost that claim?

This little bottle of nirvana contains one pineapple, 1/3 of a cucumber and a hint of ginger. It mostly tastes like a gingered pineapple juice, but the weird dirty taste of the cucumber, which I absolutely love, fades in and out as you sip along. It's also cold pressed to help maintain the healthiness to the utmost. If all of that wasn't good enough the scent of it is how I wish my home smelled 24/7.

I got some insider news that Starbucks will soon be carrying Evolution juices, so hopefully this will become more readily available for me and everyone. Darwin demands it!

New juice cleanse companies are popping up all over the place. I for one love it and appreciate that people are taking the time to consider what they are putting into their bodies (I need to do the same). I would love to do one of these cleanses, but I simply cannot afford it. If I were to purchase the 5-day cleanse it would cost me $270. That is more than a months rent for me (Yes I live in Buffalo with one of the countries lowest average rent cost). Sure I could knock it down to a 3-day cleanse, but that is still going to put me back $162. Unfortunately it's just not in my budget.

The Vanilla Cloud beverage is the daily dessert for this cleanse. You're supposed to drink it last in the day (at least three hours before bed). I like that this exists. In recent years I have fallen victim to the practice of not thinking a meal is complete until I have dessert. Dessert for me just happens to be a square or two of dark chocolate, so it's not completely horrible, but it's a practice I should probably kick at some point.

What does a juice cleanse dessert consist of? Water, coconut, honey, almonds, acerola cherry, cinnamon, vanilla bean, nutmeg and camu camu. They are all healthy things that sound like they would be great together, and I assure you that they are. This tastes like almond milk with some cinnamon and nutmeg in the mix. A seasonal almond milk if you will. I would also explain it as a very subdued chai. I actually don't taste the coconut in here at all, which I'm okay with. There are also some light chunks in here, but they are small, and just make some sips a little gritty.

I really enjoyed this, and it makes me wish even more that this cleanse was something I could do. I'm sure after five days you would feel a vast improvement, but at the same time what income bracket do you need to be apart of to participate.

People know that I am straight edge but many of them don't know why. I will give you the short reason why.

My friends growing up didn't really drink so it was fine to almost have a beer here and there. My entire lifetime, I might have drank two beers, one glass of champagne and a glass of wine. Total. People I know drink more than that in one night. That is not why I don't drink.

I don't drink because I went away to college and saw people on their own for the first time drinking so much that before the fifth of vodka hit their system, they knew what was about to happen and asked people to punch them in the stomach to make them puke. I saved female friends in parks from being felt up because everyone was drunk and no one wants to hear the next day that ten creeps touched your boobs. I saw people abandoned on park benches because they were too drunk to deal with. That's why I don't drink. I have fun doing a lot of dumb stuff and don't need to get any dumber. I'm not saying that you can't drink responsibly and have a good time, I'm just saying that I don't need it in my life and I don't feel that it will enhance anything and I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

That being said, this champagne strawberry seltzer is pretty good and pretty close to what I remember champagne to taste like. It's still got that "seltzer" taste, sure, but it actually has a good, faint strawberry taste, and a frighteningly accurate "alcohol" aftertaste. It's good enough that I probably drank thirty ounces of it. Alcohol taste and all. Something about these Polar bottles keep me coming back for more every time I drink them.

Now the season is about us where people drink a lot. Maybe calm down a little this season and drink some of this. It tastes like what you're drinking anyhow and you can drink and drive with this all day. If you like it, maybe kick in the New Year with the resolution of not pretending you're still nineteen. Unless, of course you are nineteen, which in that case you probably drank when you were reading this. Keep up the good work, nineteen year old. Better study for that Math 101 final next week. Start by multiplying the amount of empty Genny Cream Ale cans you have scattered throughout your apartment by five to find out how you're going to afford pizza tonight.

70% of the Earth is made up of water. The human body contains about the same percentage. That's a whole lot of water. Imagine how either would look if you took that water out? Mummies, or California Raisons? You be the judge. Either way it would be gross and terrible. We don't really review water here on Thirsty Dudes, unless a company sends us some. Our reasoning is that we don't know what to say. How does one describe water? It's wet? It tastes like water? Does anything taste like water, except itself? Sure we understand there are subtle nuances in different companies, but we're not the kind of experts that could easily identify them and explain them to the public.

With all of that being said, Biliner sent us some of their mineral water and it tastes like water with a little something extra in it. It tastes like well water to me. It's not as crisp as "regular water." It contains ammonia, magnesium, calcium, iron, and sodium. I can understand why some people would enjoy this, but personally I would rather drink the water out of the Britta in my fridge.

The people from the company tell me that it is huge in Europe. I can see that. They like fancier waters over there. They also are obsessed with carbonated water, which I simply do not get.

With cold brew coffee being all the rage these days I'm shocked that this is the first I have heard of what is essentially a cold brewed tea. I mean sure I've heard of sun tea, but that's not something I have ever found for sale in a store.

The tea in this bottle has never been heated, nor has it been dehydrated. It is essentially the freshest tea you will ever have in your life unless you or someone you know picks the tea leaves themselves. So what does the world's freshest tea taste like? Well, it's the smoothest of it's kind that I have ever tried, and that is with only 7g of sugar in it. It's no bitterness to it at all. This is a whole new world of tea, that I appreciated more and more with every sip.

So there you have the base for the tea. Added on top of that is some peppermint leaves that are out of this world ridiculous. As soon as you open the bottle the smell hits you and it hits you hard. I can be a bit iffy about mint in my drinks, as it has a tendency to taste like I'm drinking something with gum in my mouth, but that is simply not the case here. This peppermint tastes the way that tea tree oil smells. Yes, that is a good thing for me. The way the leaves are ground up in here, when you take a sip your lips are coated with a crazy mintiness. It feels like you licked a Lifesaver and then rubbed it all over your lips. Intense.

When I first started this bottle I was unsure how I felt about it, but by the time I was done I was already craving more. There is some magic here, and if you see this in your local grocery, do not pass it up.

Does "naturally flavored" mean anything at all when you are not naturally sweetening something? I mean, "all natural" has weight but natural flavors kind of only covers some of your bases. I mean, it's a good try but it's really a pathetic effort and calling out the fact that you haven't completed your whole job. With a fake sweetener, you're kind of taking a theoretical dump on your efforts at keeping the flavors tasting natural. You wouldn't do that now, would you? Take a dump on your science project? No. You wouldn't do that. You're better than that.

Now that I've got that out of the way, we can talk about this for what it really is. What is it? It's a sparkling lemon lime drink. It's not a juice and it certainly is sparkling. It's highly carbonated and I am going to have to subtly burp all the way through the day. Lemon lime? Yes. It really just tastes like a less sweet Sierra Mist. Is the sweetener offensive? No. Does it taste diet? A little but not too bad.

What is the difference between this, Sparkling Ice or Cascade Ice? Not much. This might be less diet. That's a pretty win when it comes to the fact that most people drink things for the taste. If you drink those, you know what you're in for.