United States - 4098 Reviews
DNA Energy Molecular Melon
“Finally,” I thought to myself, “the drink gods have listened to me and made a melon flavored energy drink.” You see melon can be one of the best tasting flavors for a drink to have when done correctly. I admit, it's rare that I eat actual melons, but I love the flavor when it's added to things. Unfortunately for me it must have been some sort of trickster god that created this beverage because I was pumped up (would it be watermelon, cantaloupe, or maybe honey dew since the accents on the can are green) and then was delivered a bubbly liquid that tastes absolutely nothing like any melon I've ever tasted. This is just carbonated sugar water. It doesn't even have the classic energy drink taste hiding below the surface. If I had to compare it to something I would say that it was like a lemon lime soda with even less flavor.
The can says, “DNA is science. Science is the driving force behind man's search for maximum performance. Everyone's DNA is unique. Be unique.” I guess they ended up being unique in that it doesn't taste like any other energy drinks out there. Unfortunately they have made me question science and it didn't even give me much energy. I was still spacing out a little on my drive to Chicago. This is just dumb.
The can says, “DNA is science. Science is the driving force behind man's search for maximum performance. Everyone's DNA is unique. Be unique.” I guess they ended up being unique in that it doesn't taste like any other energy drinks out there. Unfortunately they have made me question science and it didn't even give me much energy. I was still spacing out a little on my drive to Chicago. This is just dumb.
- Rating
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Company
- DNA Energy — Website
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/18/13, 1:42 PM
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Starbucks Mint Hot Chocolate
There are two kind of mint hot chocolate and this is the better one. What makes one better than the other? Well, and I'm dropping names here like some old tart that lived it up in the rock scene of the dirty, dirty seventies. Tim Horton's mint hot chocolate is a pretty pathetic, although accurate, portrayal of the model. It is the same hot chocolate that they would serve you if you ordered it any other time of the year but with one, unwrapped little secret. They drop a starlight mint in there. It's, and I don't mean to offend anyone with this, a pretty "poor person's" mint chocolate.
Now I am quite sure that Starbucks uses some fancy syrup to both sweeten and flavor their drink. Whatever they use, it doesn't make the drink taste:
A: Like candy in an otherwise basic drink.
B: Like toothpaste.
These two "nots" together add up to a decent mint hot chocolate. It is strong but not as strong as I like to think that Starbucks drinks are. It's a good, heavy cup of hot chocolate made with more decent ingredients than your powder garbage in the cupboard. I don't know what the Italian name for the twelve-or-so ounce cup I had was, but it was about the maximum I could have taken. I love chocolate and I love hot chocolate but add mint in there and it cuts my kid-like ability to eat endless amounts of chocolate down significantly. It was, while it lasted, a very good drink, though. Now I didn't buy it but I'm sure that I would not have been fully comfortable at whatever the purchase price was but hey, I don't make a lot of money and therefore will buy many more "poor person" renditions of drinks than someone in tax brackets above mine will. Jay and I live well beneath our means and that includes frivolous purchases like five-dollar small hot chocolates. I downright don't think I'm worth it but that's my own internal struggle I've got to deal with.
Now I am quite sure that Starbucks uses some fancy syrup to both sweeten and flavor their drink. Whatever they use, it doesn't make the drink taste:
A: Like candy in an otherwise basic drink.
B: Like toothpaste.
These two "nots" together add up to a decent mint hot chocolate. It is strong but not as strong as I like to think that Starbucks drinks are. It's a good, heavy cup of hot chocolate made with more decent ingredients than your powder garbage in the cupboard. I don't know what the Italian name for the twelve-or-so ounce cup I had was, but it was about the maximum I could have taken. I love chocolate and I love hot chocolate but add mint in there and it cuts my kid-like ability to eat endless amounts of chocolate down significantly. It was, while it lasted, a very good drink, though. Now I didn't buy it but I'm sure that I would not have been fully comfortable at whatever the purchase price was but hey, I don't make a lot of money and therefore will buy many more "poor person" renditions of drinks than someone in tax brackets above mine will. Jay and I live well beneath our means and that includes frivolous purchases like five-dollar small hot chocolates. I downright don't think I'm worth it but that's my own internal struggle I've got to deal with.
- Rating
- Categories
- Milk
- Company
- Starbucks — Website — @starbucks
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Not Listed
- Author
- Mike Literman on 11/17/13, 10:30 PM
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Taylor's Tonics Candy Cane Shake
Pastrami and hot mustard is a wonderful sandwich. It wasn't until I was an adult that I enjoyed the more "fancy" lunchmeats. All growing up I was filled to the brim with white bread and either bologna or salami. Now, as an adult, I can get "nicer" things like hot mustards, multi-grain bread, and the most erotic of all the salted meats.
One problem with this super mature sandwich is that it is pretty violent on your breath. What better way to combat the unfortunate effect of dangerously pungent sandwiches than to drink a pop that tastes like candy canes? Lucky for me, Jay bought me a bottle of this probably not knowing that I would use it as a temporary, mid-day toothpaste.
I was surprised that this tasted like a candy cane seltzer and when I read the ingredients, it was made with "sparkling water" and not whatever regular pop is made out of. You can taste that seltzery taste. The drink itself tastes like a candy cane but I didn't get much "shake" out of it. I thought it was going to taste like a peppermint cream soda, which would have been fine but Taylor's doesn't cop out like that. There is erythritol in the bottle, too, but you don't get any of the associated taste that accompanies it.
This was a smooth transition into Christmastime. A much smoother transition than every time I take my headphones off for the past two weeks the kid that works next to me is listening to Christmas music. He loves the stuff. We could never be gay lovers because I would straight murder him over it. Great dude. I would murder him.
One problem with this super mature sandwich is that it is pretty violent on your breath. What better way to combat the unfortunate effect of dangerously pungent sandwiches than to drink a pop that tastes like candy canes? Lucky for me, Jay bought me a bottle of this probably not knowing that I would use it as a temporary, mid-day toothpaste.
I was surprised that this tasted like a candy cane seltzer and when I read the ingredients, it was made with "sparkling water" and not whatever regular pop is made out of. You can taste that seltzery taste. The drink itself tastes like a candy cane but I didn't get much "shake" out of it. I thought it was going to taste like a peppermint cream soda, which would have been fine but Taylor's doesn't cop out like that. There is erythritol in the bottle, too, but you don't get any of the associated taste that accompanies it.
This was a smooth transition into Christmastime. A much smoother transition than every time I take my headphones off for the past two weeks the kid that works next to me is listening to Christmas music. He loves the stuff. We could never be gay lovers because I would straight murder him over it. Great dude. I would murder him.
- Rating
- Categories
- Sparkling
- Company
- Taylor's Tonics — Website — @TaylorsTonics
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Cane Juice
- Author
- Mike Literman on 11/15/13, 3:54 PM
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Klarbrunn Vita Ice Orange Mango
Much like Dan Aykroyd's Crystal Skull vodka Klarbrunn filters all of its sparkling waters through diamonds. It is essential to reach the full potential of the beverage and enhance the life fueling vitamins it contains. Get it, life diamonds…β¬Β¦Vita Ice? Okay that was dumb, really dumb. Dumb enough to make me think about deleting what I've written and start anew, but not dumb enough for me to actually do that, just think about it. You see I have now spent more time writing about how I kind of sort of want to rewrite this than it would actually take for me to rewrite it. So I will plunge forward with this review and tell you that this drink taste really cold. No seriously, it's like those Polar Pop fountain drinks that are always way colder than any other brand. I don't know why. This has been sitting on my desk for a good ten minutes and it still tastes like it's ice-cold even though it's only slightly colder than room temperature. There is some science going on here that I don't understand. In addition to that coldness this also tastes fairly diet, because well...it is diet and full of sucralose, which is not my favorite. Any drink carbonated, vitamin enhanced drink that is sweetened with this particular sweetener always tastes like it was made with some sort of powder mix. This is no exception. This one specifically tastes like I dumped a orange mango Emergen C packet into some carbonated water and then added some garbage diet sweetener to it, because in this scenario I am a glutton for punishment. Why do I do this to myself in these made up scenarios. Everything about this tastes very crisp and cold. I can only assume that's what they are going for with a name like Vita Ice. Man I should have led with that instead of the worst (still amazing) Ghostbuster (yes Winston and Louis are better than Ray).
- Rating
- Categories
- Diet, Sparkling and Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Company
- Klarbrunn — Website — @Klarbrunn
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/14/13, 6:04 PM
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Coco Libre Coconut Water + Chia Strawberry Kiwi
Let's play a variation of the classic Easter game guess how many jelly beans are in the jar to win a big stuffed bunny. This time we're dealing with neither beans, nor jelly. Well, I guess there is a little jelly coating these seeds we're counting. Yes, you guessed correctly; today's game is guess how many chia seeds are in this bottle of CoCo Libre. There are certainly hundreds, possibly even thousands (but not very likely).
There are a handful of brands that have been making beverages with chia seeds in them, as they are rich in omegas and other junk that make them healthy. They also help to curb your appetite. So while this is nothing new in that regard this is the first company I know of to add them to coconut water. Even though I was greeted with a mouth full of dozens of tiny slimy seeds, my first thought was, “Why have I never come across strawberry kiwi coconut water before?” Seriously, with all of the flavors on the market, I never thought of this one, and it works. The base of this drink is coconut water that I wouldn't mind drinking on its own. Yes there is agave added to it for sweetener, which I wouldn't need in its non-seeded form, but yeah…β¬Β¦I want that.
So you probably want me to mention more about the seeds, huh? Well I don't think they have much of a flavor, but they are slippery and provide enjoyment for your mouth. I do not suggest chewing them. Actually try to chew them as much as you want. Their slimy coating makes them slip around your teeth and it takes quite an effort to actually bite into them. I just prefer to swish them around my mouth and then swallow.
I did mention a prize, didn't I? Well whoever guesses the correct amount of seeds, gets a life sized chia llama. Actually screw that. I'm keeping it for myself.
There are a handful of brands that have been making beverages with chia seeds in them, as they are rich in omegas and other junk that make them healthy. They also help to curb your appetite. So while this is nothing new in that regard this is the first company I know of to add them to coconut water. Even though I was greeted with a mouth full of dozens of tiny slimy seeds, my first thought was, “Why have I never come across strawberry kiwi coconut water before?” Seriously, with all of the flavors on the market, I never thought of this one, and it works. The base of this drink is coconut water that I wouldn't mind drinking on its own. Yes there is agave added to it for sweetener, which I wouldn't need in its non-seeded form, but yeah…β¬Β¦I want that.
So you probably want me to mention more about the seeds, huh? Well I don't think they have much of a flavor, but they are slippery and provide enjoyment for your mouth. I do not suggest chewing them. Actually try to chew them as much as you want. Their slimy coating makes them slip around your teeth and it takes quite an effort to actually bite into them. I just prefer to swish them around my mouth and then swallow.
I did mention a prize, didn't I? Well whoever guesses the correct amount of seeds, gets a life sized chia llama. Actually screw that. I'm keeping it for myself.
- Rating
- Company
- Coco Libre — Website — @CocoLibre
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Agave
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/14/13, 2:00 PM
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Ahhmigo Immunity Camu Superberry
Raw foods are all the rage for those interested in a healthier lifestyle. Personally it's not for me, but I support anyone that wants to go that route. I am a creature of dietary routine, as my ladyfriend will complain, and I'm sure after a small adjustment period I would get used to that diet, but the thought hurts my head, and to be honest I just don't care enough to do it.
As far as raw foods go I never considered that some beverages would be off the table. I never think about pasteurization as cooking a beverage, but that's what it is. Knowing that makes eating raw even further from any reality I would want. Ahhmigo makes sure their beverages are raw though. Instead they freeze dry all of the flavor and ingredients and store them in the cap. When you're ready to drink it, you press that sucker down and give the bottle a healthy shaking. It mixes it all up and you end up getting more nutrients out of it all. Not only is it an interesting little thing, but it's also better for you. We have a win-win situation here.
As far as taste goes like all of the drinks in this line, this is pretty light. It's more of flavored water than a juice (obviously). It's taste is mainly camu, even though there are a whole mess of other ingredients in there to help ward off sickness. I could do without the stevia, even though I have a suspicion that without sweetener this would be a whole different drink. I was surprised to find that they put the stevia in the cap and not in the water. Also, even though I've shaken this vigorously on three separate occasions I still feel like undissolved bits of freeze dried cap matter are getting caught in my throat. The sacrifices we make for a healthier diet.
As far as raw foods go I never considered that some beverages would be off the table. I never think about pasteurization as cooking a beverage, but that's what it is. Knowing that makes eating raw even further from any reality I would want. Ahhmigo makes sure their beverages are raw though. Instead they freeze dry all of the flavor and ingredients and store them in the cap. When you're ready to drink it, you press that sucker down and give the bottle a healthy shaking. It mixes it all up and you end up getting more nutrients out of it all. Not only is it an interesting little thing, but it's also better for you. We have a win-win situation here.
As far as taste goes like all of the drinks in this line, this is pretty light. It's more of flavored water than a juice (obviously). It's taste is mainly camu, even though there are a whole mess of other ingredients in there to help ward off sickness. I could do without the stevia, even though I have a suspicion that without sweetener this would be a whole different drink. I was surprised to find that they put the stevia in the cap and not in the water. Also, even though I've shaken this vigorously on three separate occasions I still feel like undissolved bits of freeze dried cap matter are getting caught in my throat. The sacrifices we make for a healthier diet.
- Rating
- Categories
- Diet, Mix/Concentrate and Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Stevia Extract
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/12/13, 4:07 PM
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Monster ΓΕber Monster
Part of having a special drink is to make it special, right? Otherwise it's just a regular drink. There is nothing apparently special with this aside from the bottle, a bottle that only energy drink nerds and computer programmers would give two rips about. It tastes like a grape, Jay says "white grape" Monster. It's not terrible, but it most certainly isn't worth the five dollars I paid for it.
Want to see what we really thought? We thought you would so we made a little video of ourselves. Please to enjoy.
Want to see what we really thought? We thought you would so we made a little video of ourselves. Please to enjoy.
- Rating
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Company
- Monster — Website — @MonsterEnergy
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Author
- Mike Literman on 11/11/13, 10:46 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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Taylor's Tonics Gingerbread House Sparkler
Ladies and Gentlemen, let's talk candles, shall we? Scented candles are wonderful and can make any living arrangement seem just a little nicer. I myself love to go candle shopping. While I can't afford (read: don't want to pay the crazy prices) for really nice candles, the way they smell is amazing. They tend to have a smell that you can taste, and that brings us to this soda. This drink ultimately tastes the way the highest quality gingerbread candle would smell (it smells just like them to boot). I don't advise biting a candle to taste it, because what you get is simply not what your taste buds would expect from the scent. This though, this is exactly the flavor that I imagine those candles would have.
The bubbly liquid form of a gingerbread house tastes like a mixture of the cookies that are its namesake and chai. I'm not talking a weak chia that you made from some second rate teabag you got at the discount grocery store either. I'm talking real deal brewed from loose-leaf quality chai. It's so strong to the extent that there is almost a burn from it. Knowing what this company has produced in the past, I expected a burn from the ginger, but instead I was greeted with a nice spicy harshness from the chai.
This is by no means an everyday soda. Actually you shouldn't drink any soda everyday, unless you're looking to end up like the mother from What's Eating Gilbert Grape. This is the kind of soda you drink on a special occasion or at the end of a long day. You get into some comfy clothes sit back and sip this over the course of an hour or so. It's meant to be savored and enjoyed. Mull the flavor over in your mouth and think about the holiday season ahead. It's going to be hell, but at least you get some enjoyment in the form of seasonal soda out of it.
The bubbly liquid form of a gingerbread house tastes like a mixture of the cookies that are its namesake and chai. I'm not talking a weak chia that you made from some second rate teabag you got at the discount grocery store either. I'm talking real deal brewed from loose-leaf quality chai. It's so strong to the extent that there is almost a burn from it. Knowing what this company has produced in the past, I expected a burn from the ginger, but instead I was greeted with a nice spicy harshness from the chai.
This is by no means an everyday soda. Actually you shouldn't drink any soda everyday, unless you're looking to end up like the mother from What's Eating Gilbert Grape. This is the kind of soda you drink on a special occasion or at the end of a long day. You get into some comfy clothes sit back and sip this over the course of an hour or so. It's meant to be savored and enjoyed. Mull the flavor over in your mouth and think about the holiday season ahead. It's going to be hell, but at least you get some enjoyment in the form of seasonal soda out of it.
- Rating
- Company
- Taylor's Tonics — Website — @TaylorsTonics
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Evaporated Cane Juice
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/11/13, 6:07 PM
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Ayala Herbal Tea Rooibos Cinnamon Rose Petal
This drink plays out like first time you see a classic midnight movie as a child. It's incredible strange and weird, and when you first encounter it you're not exactly sure how you feel about it. Everything in your body tells you that it's wrong and that you should not continue along this path in your life, yet there is a little spark of interest deep down inside and if you nurture it a great love could bloom.
There were four of us gathered when this drink was opened. Each of us took a sip and we all had the same reaction of this is just not good. One of our friends proclaimed that it tasted like your grandmother doused herself in bug spray, then to cover the smell spritzed perfume all over and then forced you to lick her arm. I did not have such a strong reaction, but my tongue was not pleased. Then for some reason I took another sip, and things started to look like they weren't all that bad. My body had accepted the flavor as something unusual, but unusual doesn't equal bad. Sure the baby from Eraserhead is one of the weirdest things ever thought up/constructed and at a young age it's completely terrifying, but it's also an incredible image in cinema. I'm not saying this drink will have such a profound effect on the beverage world, but it is out of the ordinary and it has merit.
The problem was that we all went into this expecting what we universally accept as iced tea. The thing is that this bottle does not contain any traditional tea and it is an herbal infusion. Once your brain isn't expecting black, green or white tea it can begin to properly process the flavors this drink contains. The main herbal flavor in this comes from the rooibos, which is actually a legume from South Africa. It's also known as red tea, so there is a chance that you may have had it before without even realizing it. After that comes the floral taste of the rose petals. This is where the majority of the weirdness of this beverage comes from. In the western world, we're not accustomed to ingesting flowers, and while it's not a terrible thing it does take some time to become acclimated to it. Underneath it all lies a light cinnamon flavor that rounds everything out.
At first sip, I thought I wanted nothing to do with this tea, but now that I'm near the bottom, the floral taste that seemed so overpowering in the beginning seems more like an afterthought. This beverage is very interesting, and if you're looking for an adventure, pull one of these from your local grocer's shelf and then head down to the independent theatre in your town and check out whoever the new Lynch, Cronenberg and Waters are for the current generation.
There were four of us gathered when this drink was opened. Each of us took a sip and we all had the same reaction of this is just not good. One of our friends proclaimed that it tasted like your grandmother doused herself in bug spray, then to cover the smell spritzed perfume all over and then forced you to lick her arm. I did not have such a strong reaction, but my tongue was not pleased. Then for some reason I took another sip, and things started to look like they weren't all that bad. My body had accepted the flavor as something unusual, but unusual doesn't equal bad. Sure the baby from Eraserhead is one of the weirdest things ever thought up/constructed and at a young age it's completely terrifying, but it's also an incredible image in cinema. I'm not saying this drink will have such a profound effect on the beverage world, but it is out of the ordinary and it has merit.
The problem was that we all went into this expecting what we universally accept as iced tea. The thing is that this bottle does not contain any traditional tea and it is an herbal infusion. Once your brain isn't expecting black, green or white tea it can begin to properly process the flavors this drink contains. The main herbal flavor in this comes from the rooibos, which is actually a legume from South Africa. It's also known as red tea, so there is a chance that you may have had it before without even realizing it. After that comes the floral taste of the rose petals. This is where the majority of the weirdness of this beverage comes from. In the western world, we're not accustomed to ingesting flowers, and while it's not a terrible thing it does take some time to become acclimated to it. Underneath it all lies a light cinnamon flavor that rounds everything out.
At first sip, I thought I wanted nothing to do with this tea, but now that I'm near the bottom, the floral taste that seemed so overpowering in the beginning seems more like an afterthought. This beverage is very interesting, and if you're looking for an adventure, pull one of these from your local grocer's shelf and then head down to the independent theatre in your town and check out whoever the new Lynch, Cronenberg and Waters are for the current generation.
- Rating
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Company
- Ayala — Website — @HerbalWater
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/10/13, 11:55 AM
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Seattle's Best Coffee Frozen Coffee Blends Mega Mocha
Ahh the blender: one of the least used appliances in my kitchen. I've got a novelty hot dog maker that I use tenfold over the blender. I've got a food processor that I use predominantly to mix up cooked vegetables to hide in Mac & Cheese so my dumb son will eat healthy. I know I said that I'm against it, but kids nowadays. Jesus Christ. What a bunch of idiots. Eat some damn peas.
Blender...right...prep for this couldn't be easier. A little bit of milk in the blender, pour in the contents of the bag, mix, done. Well, yes, it is kind of like that but not really. I thought we had a good mixer. My girlfriend makes healthy smoothies like four days a week with it but when it comes to frozen chunks of chocolate this thing threw the ingredients to the side like an Italian mother throws properly cooked spaghetti at the wall. I had to blend, push down with a wooden spoon, blend, spoon, blend, spoon, to the point where I said, "Screw this. It's done." I poured it into a cup where there was no way in hell I was ever going to get it through a straw so I had to use a spoon. I almost shouldn't be reviewing this since I couldn't drink it but since it is technically a drink, a review had to be performed.
Was it good? Yeah. It was like a whipped chocolate ice cream that has a small hint of coffee to it. Disappointing? A bit. I would have liked this jerk to blend properly and I would have liked to actually drink it rather than eat it with a spoon out of a cup like I don't know how to operate any piece of silverware, appliance, and glassware in my whole house. Don't make me feel that way, bro.
You know who agrees with me but in a nicer, more photo-friendly way? Our dogg Marvo at The Impulsive Buy.
Blender...right...prep for this couldn't be easier. A little bit of milk in the blender, pour in the contents of the bag, mix, done. Well, yes, it is kind of like that but not really. I thought we had a good mixer. My girlfriend makes healthy smoothies like four days a week with it but when it comes to frozen chunks of chocolate this thing threw the ingredients to the side like an Italian mother throws properly cooked spaghetti at the wall. I had to blend, push down with a wooden spoon, blend, spoon, blend, spoon, to the point where I said, "Screw this. It's done." I poured it into a cup where there was no way in hell I was ever going to get it through a straw so I had to use a spoon. I almost shouldn't be reviewing this since I couldn't drink it but since it is technically a drink, a review had to be performed.
Was it good? Yeah. It was like a whipped chocolate ice cream that has a small hint of coffee to it. Disappointing? A bit. I would have liked this jerk to blend properly and I would have liked to actually drink it rather than eat it with a spoon out of a cup like I don't know how to operate any piece of silverware, appliance, and glassware in my whole house. Don't make me feel that way, bro.
You know who agrees with me but in a nicer, more photo-friendly way? Our dogg Marvo at The Impulsive Buy.
- Rating
- Categories
- Coffee
- Company
- Seattle's Best Coffee — Website — @seattlesbest
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 11/9/13, 10:27 PM
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TEAloe Passion Fruit
Like peanut butter and chocolate these are two great tastes that should taste great together, and that's even without the extra bonus of passion fruit. I love tea. I love aloe drinks. What is there not to love here right? Well, let me walk you through my beverage experience.
I grab this from the fridge, elated that my mouth is about to be blessed with what I can only assume is a beverage from the heavens. I twist off the cap and take a sip and…β¬Β¦something is wrong here. This doesn't taste like I expected. It's not insanely sweet and there is this weird bitterness around the edges. I take another sip and ponder this like a fool. Of course it's not what my brain expected. My brain saw aloe and passionfruit and it was expecting an explosion of flavor on my taste buds. The wrinkles in my head-grapes forgot to factor in the tea aspect of the drink. That weird bitterness I spoke of was simply the taste of the green tea. Since I have never tasted tea and aloe together I couldn't process what it would taste like for a second. Once everything fell in line and my synapses started firing away, I enjoyed this drink much more.
The tea flavor is right up front in this bottle. I had expected the aloe to be the guiding force, but without insane amounts of sugar it takes a backseat to the natural flavor of the green tea. The normal white grape taste that I associate with aloe was all but not there. To give this a proper explanation I would have to say that this tastes like a lightly brewed, lightly sweetened green tea that has just a splash of passion fruit flavor in it. The only way the aloe is really present is in the small chunks in it, and I mean real small. There are fewer chunks in this than in orange juice with pulp.
This didn't turn out to be what I expected and wanted it to be, but it still ended up being decent. I think going into the other flavors without the expectations that I had will lead me to a more enjoyable experience. You can also share in those experiences now. Won't you join me?
I grab this from the fridge, elated that my mouth is about to be blessed with what I can only assume is a beverage from the heavens. I twist off the cap and take a sip and…β¬Β¦something is wrong here. This doesn't taste like I expected. It's not insanely sweet and there is this weird bitterness around the edges. I take another sip and ponder this like a fool. Of course it's not what my brain expected. My brain saw aloe and passionfruit and it was expecting an explosion of flavor on my taste buds. The wrinkles in my head-grapes forgot to factor in the tea aspect of the drink. That weird bitterness I spoke of was simply the taste of the green tea. Since I have never tasted tea and aloe together I couldn't process what it would taste like for a second. Once everything fell in line and my synapses started firing away, I enjoyed this drink much more.
The tea flavor is right up front in this bottle. I had expected the aloe to be the guiding force, but without insane amounts of sugar it takes a backseat to the natural flavor of the green tea. The normal white grape taste that I associate with aloe was all but not there. To give this a proper explanation I would have to say that this tastes like a lightly brewed, lightly sweetened green tea that has just a splash of passion fruit flavor in it. The only way the aloe is really present is in the small chunks in it, and I mean real small. There are fewer chunks in this than in orange juice with pulp.
This didn't turn out to be what I expected and wanted it to be, but it still ended up being decent. I think going into the other flavors without the expectations that I had will lead me to a more enjoyable experience. You can also share in those experiences now. Won't you join me?
- Rating
- Company
- TEAloe — Website — @TealoeLiving
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/9/13, 9:10 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
- Share
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Popeye Energy Clobberin Clementine
Did Popeye ever ingest anything other than spinach? I mean I know he was always smoking a pipe, which I'm sure smelled amazing, but in any of the comics, cartoons or the movie (where Shelley Duvall played the role she was born for) did they ever show the character of Popeye ever eating or drinking anything else? To be honest I haven't watched/read any of them in probably 15-20 years, but I will assume he only eats spinach. By that logic one would assume that his personal energy drink would contain some spinach. That is not the case. In fact, not only does this energy drink not have spinach, but it also has no taurine, or any of that other fake garbage that is in 99% of energy drinks. This is solely carbonated juice (white grape, apple and clementines) with some caffeine and vitamins added to it. There isn't even any added sugar. The result is my new favorite energy drink. Sure for those of you out there that drink a keg of coffee a day this will probably have no effect, but for those like myself that don't consume much caffeine, it's working just fine. This is the healthier side of energy drinks and I support it whole-heartedly. The clementines taste is very strong, so if you like a more bitter orange, get on this train. The aftertaste is more of the grape and apple juice, but when you first take a sip you get a nice punch in the tonsils with some tiny oranges.
Oh a side note, after watching some videos on Youtube I am convinced that if Shelley Duvall was younger now, she could be an indie darling. The young kids would eat these vocals up, check it out.
Oh a side note, after watching some videos on Youtube I am convinced that if Shelley Duvall was younger now, she could be an indie darling. The young kids would eat these vocals up, check it out.
- Rating
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Juice and Sparkling
- Company
- Popeye — Website — @PopeyeEnergy
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/9/13, 5:49 PM
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Solixir Restore Pomegranate Ginger
Even though we have reviewed several other Solixir products my brain was convinced that the “No Sugar Added” tag meant that this thing was going to be chock full of stevia. I keep finding myself reviewing drinks that contain stevia, and I've had my fill for a while. It seems like everyone is using it, either on it's own or in conjuncture with cane sugar. I understand it is healthier, but can everyone admit that it has a very distinguishable taste that can be overpowering? It seems like companies are acting like it is completely tasteless…β¬Β¦it's not.
I grabbed this, and braced myself for a cool “new-diet” sting that never came. It seems that when Solixer says no sugar added, they mean it. The only sweetener of any kind that can be found in this can is the kind that comes naturally in fruit juice (13g worth for those keeping track at home). I was overjoyed. This was a drink that I wasn't looking forward to at all, and it turns out that I truly enjoy it. It's simply carbonated water, white grape juice, pomegranate juice and a botanical extract blend that contains ginger root, European elderflower, European elderberry, stinging nettle leaf, dandelion root and honeysuckle stem. That is a lot of “unusual” ingredients yet the drink comes off as a very light, slightly fruity ginger ale. It has a slight botanical aftertaste, but it's in a good way, not in a “someone shot me in the mouth with perfume” sort of way. Yes, it tastes a bit watered down, but again it's in a pleasant way. Americans always seem to need strong flavor crammed down their throat, even when that flavor is a pale comparison of what it could taste like. This may have a light flavor, but the flavor that is there is of quality, and I would rather have it than some garbage artificially flavored soda any day.
I would love to try a cane sugar sweetened version of this, but I'm afraid that the sweetness would overpower the botanical flavors and all of it's greatness would be lost.
I grabbed this, and braced myself for a cool “new-diet” sting that never came. It seems that when Solixer says no sugar added, they mean it. The only sweetener of any kind that can be found in this can is the kind that comes naturally in fruit juice (13g worth for those keeping track at home). I was overjoyed. This was a drink that I wasn't looking forward to at all, and it turns out that I truly enjoy it. It's simply carbonated water, white grape juice, pomegranate juice and a botanical extract blend that contains ginger root, European elderflower, European elderberry, stinging nettle leaf, dandelion root and honeysuckle stem. That is a lot of “unusual” ingredients yet the drink comes off as a very light, slightly fruity ginger ale. It has a slight botanical aftertaste, but it's in a good way, not in a “someone shot me in the mouth with perfume” sort of way. Yes, it tastes a bit watered down, but again it's in a pleasant way. Americans always seem to need strong flavor crammed down their throat, even when that flavor is a pale comparison of what it could taste like. This may have a light flavor, but the flavor that is there is of quality, and I would rather have it than some garbage artificially flavored soda any day.
I would love to try a cane sugar sweetened version of this, but I'm afraid that the sweetness would overpower the botanical flavors and all of it's greatness would be lost.
- Rating
- Categories
- Juice, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement and Ginger
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/9/13, 11:42 AM
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Ayala Herbal Tea Nutmeg Cacao Nibs Cardamom
If you took three different sized dudes, lined them up, insulted their mothers individually, and openly welcomed punches in the face, that's what this drink is like. Three different sized fists brutally assaulting your kisser. Three fists, at three separate times, pummeling your money maker.
This drink was awesome on the shelf and awesome in my mouth. Well that sounds gross. Eh, you know what? I'll leave it. You can taste everything but they don't share the spotlight, which I might enjoy more. You get a blast of cacao, then nutmeg, and then cardamom. Just like a two years old boy, there is no sharing going on and unlike that two years old boy, I like it.
This new line...Ayala. You're on to something, friends. I'm on to you and you're on to something great.
This drink was awesome on the shelf and awesome in my mouth. Well that sounds gross. Eh, you know what? I'll leave it. You can taste everything but they don't share the spotlight, which I might enjoy more. You get a blast of cacao, then nutmeg, and then cardamom. Just like a two years old boy, there is no sharing going on and unlike that two years old boy, I like it.
This new line...Ayala. You're on to something, friends. I'm on to you and you're on to something great.
- Rating
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Company
- Ayala — Website — @HerbalWater
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Mike Literman on 11/7/13, 9:20 PM
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Limonitz Sparkling Lemonade Mint
What is a mojito with lemon instead of lime? Wrong? Is that it? I've had mock mojitos and they're good. I assume a "real" mojito is close enough. Mint and lime. This is mint and lemon. It's close, right. Same fruit but a different color. I know, I know. Lemons are sour and limes are bitter. Are you here to call me, a time honored professional, a dumb dummy? I certainly hope not.
This tastes like a sweeter, less bitter mojito. Didn't see that review coming, did you. Honestly, the mint is pretty faint and if they just said this was sparkling lemonade with mint in it, I would say, "Oh, cool. They put mint in it." To declare, in big, bold, caps "MINT" you're making a statement. This is a great lemonade. Compare it to a non-gingered Bruce Cost. It's got pulp, which is always a win, but the lemon is so sour, in a good way, that it out flavors the mint. Fights is fights is fights and lemon just beat mint. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. I'm hoping I can say the same for this drink because it's one of the best lemonades I've had.
This tastes like a sweeter, less bitter mojito. Didn't see that review coming, did you. Honestly, the mint is pretty faint and if they just said this was sparkling lemonade with mint in it, I would say, "Oh, cool. They put mint in it." To declare, in big, bold, caps "MINT" you're making a statement. This is a great lemonade. Compare it to a non-gingered Bruce Cost. It's got pulp, which is always a win, but the lemon is so sour, in a good way, that it out flavors the mint. Fights is fights is fights and lemon just beat mint. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. I'm hoping I can say the same for this drink because it's one of the best lemonades I've had.
- Rating
- Company
- Limonitz — Website — @LimonitzLemnade
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 11/7/13, 4:50 PM
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Sprite Cranberry
Our contact at the Buffalo Coca Cola plant told us this was coming out, and while I had seen the 2lt bottles of it in the grocer store I was keeping my eyes open for smaller bottles, or cans, but alas I did not find them. As a result I'm sitting here with way more pop than I actually need, telling myself that I should just drop the leftovers off with my upstairs neighbor.
Was I shocked to learn that we had not reviewed normal Sprite when I looked through our database? Not at all. You see when we started Thirsty Dudes a few years ago we made a conscious decision to put big soda on the back burner. We figured it was the kind of thing that we would be served at a family party, so there was no rush to go out and purchase it for review. The problem with that logic is that never in a million years would I choose a lemon lime soda over anything else at any point in my life. Lemon lime is perfectly fine, but it's boring, and I don't get enough enjoyment out of it to justify the sugar intake. So here we are with our first Sprite review and it's for their new cranberry variant, which I read was going to be limited to the holiday season.
While I am not a huge fan of lemon lime, I will give Sprite props for not going overboard with the cranberry flavor in this. It could easily have overtaken the entire taste of this drink. At its core this is still mainly a lemon lime soda with a little cranberry flavor added as an afterthought. The added flavor is very light and it stays true to the brands respected flavor. This is all I could ever hope that a cranberry Sprite would taste like.
Was I shocked to learn that we had not reviewed normal Sprite when I looked through our database? Not at all. You see when we started Thirsty Dudes a few years ago we made a conscious decision to put big soda on the back burner. We figured it was the kind of thing that we would be served at a family party, so there was no rush to go out and purchase it for review. The problem with that logic is that never in a million years would I choose a lemon lime soda over anything else at any point in my life. Lemon lime is perfectly fine, but it's boring, and I don't get enough enjoyment out of it to justify the sugar intake. So here we are with our first Sprite review and it's for their new cranberry variant, which I read was going to be limited to the holiday season.
While I am not a huge fan of lemon lime, I will give Sprite props for not going overboard with the cranberry flavor in this. It could easily have overtaken the entire taste of this drink. At its core this is still mainly a lemon lime soda with a little cranberry flavor added as an afterthought. The added flavor is very light and it stays true to the brands respected flavor. This is all I could ever hope that a cranberry Sprite would taste like.
- Rating
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/7/13, 3:33 PM
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Something Natural Sparkling Water Raspberry Keylime
For the everyday man family friendly BBQs and children's parties mean coolers full of soda. I'm going to say that for at least 70% of the population that means coolers filled with generic, store brand pop, mostly grape and orange. Some might splurge and spend the extra money and fill those coffers with name brand soda. In my experiences if that is the case, there is going to be one hell of a fruit salad there as well. Who doesn't love fruit salad?
Then there are the other people, the select few whose incomes eclipse our humble earnings. At their parties mini fridges probably replace the coolers, and they aren't filled with normal soda, but healthier, natural versions, such as what I hold in my hands here. The people who have tennis courts in their backyards, and weird exotic animals are a little choosier with what they will serve their guests. Think of the upset in high society if it was discovered that someone was serving Kroger brand cola to their colleague's kids.
I admit that this bottle is a big part of what makes this drink feel so fancy. Who can argue with blue glass, especially with such classy looking print on it? The contents aren't half bad either. It's carbonated water that is lightly flavored. The added taste of fruit exists as more of an aftertaste than it does while your sipping it, but it does a good enough job of combating the seltzer flavor. There is a small amount of cane sugar in here as well as stevia, but the diet taste isn't very strong.
This is basically a “dry” soda that makes you feel like a big timer when you drink it. Everything about it screams money and sophistication, except the price. At the $1.50 that this cost me I can pretend I'm better off than I am while remaining the slack jawed yokel that I will always be.
Then there are the other people, the select few whose incomes eclipse our humble earnings. At their parties mini fridges probably replace the coolers, and they aren't filled with normal soda, but healthier, natural versions, such as what I hold in my hands here. The people who have tennis courts in their backyards, and weird exotic animals are a little choosier with what they will serve their guests. Think of the upset in high society if it was discovered that someone was serving Kroger brand cola to their colleague's kids.
I admit that this bottle is a big part of what makes this drink feel so fancy. Who can argue with blue glass, especially with such classy looking print on it? The contents aren't half bad either. It's carbonated water that is lightly flavored. The added taste of fruit exists as more of an aftertaste than it does while your sipping it, but it does a good enough job of combating the seltzer flavor. There is a small amount of cane sugar in here as well as stevia, but the diet taste isn't very strong.
This is basically a “dry” soda that makes you feel like a big timer when you drink it. Everything about it screams money and sophistication, except the price. At the $1.50 that this cost me I can pretend I'm better off than I am while remaining the slack jawed yokel that I will always be.
- Rating
- Company
- Something Natural — Website — @DrinkNatural
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/6/13, 1:25 PM
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Monster Ultra Red
The road trip is one of the greatest joys that life can give you. Hanging out in a car with friends on a warm summer day speeding down the highway with the windows down and the radio up. I think one of the main reasons I wanted to play music was to always have extended road trips in my life. According to the little blurb on this can, Monster feels the same way. They talk about being young and working dumb jobs to pay for your summer excess, but then save enough for one last blow out trip at the end of summer. I know what they were talking about and I can fully relate. My confusion comes in the form of that statement being on a “diet” energy drink. Sure I'm sure many a road trip are fueled my caffeine and taurine, but when was the last time you or anyone you knew were at a little gas station in the middle of nowhere and someone in the car said something along the lines of, “Oh make sure you grab me a zero calorie energy drink and some yogurt”? The people they are trying to reach out to with that statement more than likely don't care about their sugar intake. They are pounding bags of Doritos and roller dogs by the gallon. Perhaps they were shooting for a nostalgia angle though; people who are older, whose metabolisms have slowed down. They have fond memories of trips past, but now they need to watch what they eat so they don't end up looking like Pizza the Hut.
Whatever their intentions, they did a good job with this energy drink. They did the unthinkable and made a diet fruit punch that doesn't taste like complete garbage. I think the secret was that they kept the punch pretty mellow, unlike the Hawiian Punch taste-a-likes in the world. Also, they used erythritol as the sweetener, which taste less like poison than sucralose or aspartame. The end result is a drink that just tastes fruity without being overbearing and only tastes mildly diet.
It's rare that I find a diet drink that I don't mind, and I could see myself purchasing again. Well done Monster Corp.
Whatever their intentions, they did a good job with this energy drink. They did the unthinkable and made a diet fruit punch that doesn't taste like complete garbage. I think the secret was that they kept the punch pretty mellow, unlike the Hawiian Punch taste-a-likes in the world. Also, they used erythritol as the sweetener, which taste less like poison than sucralose or aspartame. The end result is a drink that just tastes fruity without being overbearing and only tastes mildly diet.
It's rare that I find a diet drink that I don't mind, and I could see myself purchasing again. Well done Monster Corp.
- Rating
- Categories
- Diet and Energy Drink
- Company
- Monster — Website — @MonsterEnergy
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/4/13, 12:24 PM
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Gevalia Mocha Latte
I enjoy drinks with directions. Oh sure, sometimes I like the only direction to be "Open and enjoy" but sometimes there are times where I like a nice diagram to follow in order to enjoy my drink to the fullest. This is only a two-step process but there are multiple packages and buttons to press before you get to enjoy it.
Step 1: Froth packet. You empty this cat into your drink and you would think to your dumb self, "Well I just add water to this and it makes the magic happen, right? Well you would be wrong if you think that the magic can happen without a little Daryl Hall solo stuff. Also, I think we're thinking about two different types of magic. No, step one is just the froth packet. You put that in and you leave it alone.
Step 2: Standard issue albeit neatly shaped K-cup. Press the button and everything blends together to make the complete sweet treat. If I didn't know better, I would say that step two in itself is just Gevalia coffee and the froth and cocoa is in the aforementioned step but I'm not here to ruin the magician's secrets.
Step 3: Enjoy, which I did. This, to me, and I am a coffee shop novice, tastes like a pretty genuine coffee shop classic. It tastes like a good coffee first with some cocoa and the foam on top. It doesn't taste like hot cocoa with coffee, which is the wrong order if you ask me. It's got that coffee aftertaste that some of you probably enjoy on your tongue but I, for one, would like to immediately chew some gum or use a tongue scraper because this taste is lingering a tad too long. Note: I am not penalizing Gevalia for this is (presumably) the intended action for coffee folk, of which I am not. I am just a guy who stole this from his girlfriend with whom I have never made magic happen with the assistance of a little Daryl Hall.
Step 1: Froth packet. You empty this cat into your drink and you would think to your dumb self, "Well I just add water to this and it makes the magic happen, right? Well you would be wrong if you think that the magic can happen without a little Daryl Hall solo stuff. Also, I think we're thinking about two different types of magic. No, step one is just the froth packet. You put that in and you leave it alone.
Step 2: Standard issue albeit neatly shaped K-cup. Press the button and everything blends together to make the complete sweet treat. If I didn't know better, I would say that step two in itself is just Gevalia coffee and the froth and cocoa is in the aforementioned step but I'm not here to ruin the magician's secrets.
Step 3: Enjoy, which I did. This, to me, and I am a coffee shop novice, tastes like a pretty genuine coffee shop classic. It tastes like a good coffee first with some cocoa and the foam on top. It doesn't taste like hot cocoa with coffee, which is the wrong order if you ask me. It's got that coffee aftertaste that some of you probably enjoy on your tongue but I, for one, would like to immediately chew some gum or use a tongue scraper because this taste is lingering a tad too long. Note: I am not penalizing Gevalia for this is (presumably) the intended action for coffee folk, of which I am not. I am just a guy who stole this from his girlfriend with whom I have never made magic happen with the assistance of a little Daryl Hall.
- Rating
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 11/4/13, 9:55 AM
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True Lemon
Lemon wedges in restaurants are dirty, dirty things. According to the news they rarely get washed and are full of bacteria that gets transferred to your drink. Ick. Lucky for me I'm not a huge lemon guy, and I like my water plain, so I stay bacteria free, well at least in that aspect.
For those of you that do like lemon in your water, try this much cleaner version. Adding a little package of True Lemon to water tastes exactly like you squeezed a nice big lemon wedge into your glass. It's powderized lemon juice, with no added sugar. I have friends who carry this stuff around like it was their bible. Come on, join the clean team.
For those of you that do like lemon in your water, try this much cleaner version. Adding a little package of True Lemon to water tastes exactly like you squeezed a nice big lemon wedge into your glass. It's powderized lemon juice, with no added sugar. I have friends who carry this stuff around like it was their bible. Come on, join the clean team.
- Rating
- Categories
- Lemonade and Mix/Concentrate
- Company
- True — Website — @truelemon
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Jason Draper on 11/3/13, 8:38 PM
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