United States - 4098 Reviews

The moth caterpillars may be the species on this planet that produces the most products in comparison to its size. Not only are these little guys gathered together to harvest the silk they spin out of their butts to make fancy dresses (yes your designer dress once came from a bug's butt, charming isn't it) and sheets that are far to slippery for anyone to get a good nights sleep, but they also produce a high quality product from the other side of their body. While these little fellas are busy popping out smooth fabric, they are also puking up a sweet carbonated substance.

Avery's Soda has decided there was a market for the liquid that moth caterpillars vom all over themselves, and have created a soda using it as the base. It has a general cane sugar sweetened soda flavor to it, with some hints of kiwi and pineapple to it. It most certainly tastes like candied fruit, and for that fact little kids eat it up. I will advise that parents tell their children that it's just a funny name for the soda, and not what it actually is: insect puke.

Oh sir. You look so cold. Please, please. Come in to my coffee shop and I will give you a drink on the house. Look at you. Your nose is as red as a...well your nose is red and you've got to get that wet coat off. Let me take that, sir. Come in, sit sit sit. I've got something I think you will like. It's a mocha latte. No sir, we do not only serve, how you say, "regular coffee." I've got for you, my cold sir, a hot cup of mocha. Relax sir and just enjoy your cup of mocha.

Well sir, have you enjoyed your coffee? What? Sir, are you accusing me of using one of those dastardly Keurig machines to make our classic Italian coffee? Sir I can assure you...what? You what? You saw in the garbage that there are approximately three dozen used K-cups in there? Well sir, you've got us. Now you're going to tell everyone and our coffee shop will be closed. You...you aren't going to tell anyone? Thank you sir. Also, since you know that secret, you should know that I am really putting on an act with this whole "sir" thing. I did bring you in because you looked like a wet rat, though. That one was rightfully on me. So seriously dude, what did you think of the coffee? Just alright? Why? Yeah, you know what? It does just kind of tastes like a half and half coffee and hot chocolate. Oh, you got that little bit of diet taste, too? Yeah, I don't know. It's not advertised as diet but for some reason it's got that in there.

How do you feel, man? Are you better? Warmer? Oh, you're welcome. Come in any time. You know that we charge like five dollars for these cups of coffee and at the rate that we sell them and the fact that they're like a quarter at the quantity that we buy them at, giving you a free coffee when you come in if you promise not to say anything is only fair. Have a good day, man. Oh, hey! If you're not busy tomorrow night, my Chicago cover band is playing down at the Rusty Lobster. You should come down. Oh, you're busy, that blows. Well have a good night.

Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt your meal at this $1000 a plate benefit, but I must ask you a very important question, are you crazy? No, huh? Well would you say that you are crazy about berries? You guess. Let's just pretend you said that you are. In fact let's say that you are very crazy about berries. Some might say that you are “berry loco.” Huh, Huh, see what I did there?

So since you are so loco for these berries and I can't seem to get you to shut up about them, how about you try some of this new Aquafina Flavorsplash? It's a berry flavored sparkling water with B vitamins added to it. Sounds great, right? Well what if I told you that we sweetened the deal, literally, and added sucralose? You would say that you have no interest in artificial sweeteners, wouldn't you? I'm right there with you, and I have no idea why they did it. Okay I'm lying I know; this is a diet drink aimed to help people who like soda pop drink something a little healthier. While I'm not a fan of sucralose, I must say that underneath that fake sweetness hides a nice tasting sparkling berry drink. It tastes like the Kool Aid I imagine you rich folks drink would taste like. I know you're Kool Aid tastes better than the version they sell us poor folks, you can't like to me! Fine, I'll leave! I bet you would have had no problem with this drink had I served it in a champagne flute. Snobby McSnobSnob!

Forgive me if I'm wrong but wasn't the whole point of blk that it was mineral water that was heavy on the fulvic acid, so it looked murky and dark? It was a clever marketing scheme to get a lot of people who would never in a million years buy mineral water to shell out some cash. I bought into it for at least one bottle. It tasted like water and was a nice gimmick.

With their new “+” line blk added some flavor to that water. Everything would be well and good except in addition to that flavoring they also added stevia. Why couldn't they have just stuck with the flavoring? This would actually be pretty tasty if they had. Sure, stevia is probably the most palatable zero calorie sweetener on the market, but the inclusion of any sweetener whatsoever in these drinks was unnecessary. Had they stuck to it being unsweetened flavored mineral water, I think I would truly enjoy it. As things stand the cool sting of the stevia overpowers the mango flavor. Things should have been kept mellow, instead they just taste diet.

You thought that Popeye was getting his strength from spinach but there was a dirty little secret behind that. Sure, he loved the green stuff but when you weren't looking and the camera changed angles, he would slam a can of his own proprietary blend of energy drink. He was very ahead of his time. Drinking this allowed him to bend large steel beams and lift cars with ease. It was just a plot from the vegetable industry to push more spinach to kids. He made out big time; enough to start his own energy drink line.

Now Popeye knew a thing or two about healthy stuff since he did manage to learn a thing or two about his vegetables. He didn't add sugar to his energy drink and let the natural flavors of the blackberry to flavor and sweeten this drink. He even snuck in some vegetables, possibly due to contracts, to color his drink. He did manage to make a drink that tastes more like something unique rather than your cookie cutter energy drink. The blackberry taste is pretty spot on and it's even got some bitterness from the blackberry left that didn't get cut out of the mix.

With Wimpy as his terrible accountant, they are slowly taking the energy drink world by storm with the phrase, "You'll gladly pay today for a Popeye's energy drink today."

The beverage world, and the flavor world at large went crazy with pomegranate a few years back. It was everywhere. They started mixing it with other fruits and the results were largely positive. Then someone decided to throw acai in the mix because of the health benefits, and that's where I lost interest. Before long it seemed that everywhere you turned pom and acai were teamed up like the Justice League of antioxidants. The thing is acai doesn't taste all that great. Sure it's palatable, but it's nothing I would go out of my way for.

When I got this drink it brought a smile to my face that that dumb super fruit was nowhere to be found. I'm going to associate acai with Superman here. They both have powers, but they are overall dumb characters that always seem like they are cheating. I suppose that would make pomegranates Batman then. They are dark and mysterious with secrets hidden below their thick outer shell. I can get behind pomegranates. I was also glad to see that pom is working together with blueberries in this mix. We'll call them Nightwing because they are working together and not as a superhero/sidekick team.

This is a wonderful drink that fights antioxidants (crime) enough to keep them out of your body (Gotham) long enough for it to recuperate. They do it in a tasty and enjoyable way with a little bit of help from coconut water (Oracle…€¦see I told you Nightwing was more appropriate). This is actually more of a blueberry adventure with pomegranate backing it up. Speaking of which, why are there not more, if any, blueberry coconut waters. I would drink that up by the gallon.

This drink will leave you refreshed and rehydrated whilst leaving a sweet taste on your tongue. I'm going to assume that most of my references were lost on a majority of you, but just know that if I'm associating a beverage with Gotham's finest; I mean business.

You thought I was never going to do it but I did it. Was it hard? No. How hard is buying a cup of green tea? Not hard. It took a lot of recommendation and persuasion to get me out of their hibiscus iced tea, which I should add has been upgraded to a five bottle review, but we did it. How was it? Not as good as everyone thinks it is.

If I had to simplify it, which I don't have to but I will, it tastes like if Whole Foods made green tea Freez-e-pops. It's sweet like the liquid in one would be. As for the promised passion fruit and papaya infusion, it is a light infusion that might only be used to cut out the bitterness of the green tea of which there is none. It's not fruity and doesn't have a ton of body whatsoever. It's a fairly straightforward, entry-level sweet green tea. Sure, it's for the masses so bitterness and complexity don't really bode well for the lowest common denominator. Am I calling you a dumb dummy? No sir or madam. Am I calling you a lady who houses prostitutes? No ma'am.

I assume Georgia gets sick of being synonymous with peaches. Like Salem and witches, these places have more to offer than being a one trick pony? Now that we're on this horse segue, when have you seen a horse do more than one trick that it's derogatory to be known as a "one trick pony?" Horses run; not a trick, and they jump over fences; trick. A horse that is a one trick pony can now be just labeled as a horse. Backtrack...

Salem had witch trials in the late 1600's. We're four centuries past that and although they milk it, there are other people that live and work there that have other things to do that constantly carve pumpkins, affix faux moles, and practice their shrill laughs.

Salem; check. Horse talk; check. Alright, back to peaches. Peaches are fine. I don't like them but I don't hate them. There are just some foods that I don't eat for no reason other than I don't want to. Furry fruit is one of them. Look, they taste fine. I don't eat them. The thought of a peach lemonade entices me, though. I made myself a glass of this and slammed the whole thing. No problems there. What did I think? Well that's why we're all here, right? At the edges of our seats awaiting my very important review of a powdered peach lemonade. I shall serve you your main course of review right now. Please be seated.

This was the first time since I've been on a True Citrus kick that the Stevia was overpowering. It wasn't too much that it was undrinkable but it was distracting. The peach flavor was good albeit a bit "candied" for my taste. The lemonadidity (not a real word...yet) was about a five out of ten. Between the candy peach and the non-traditional sweetener of the lemonade, this took a turn for the unfortunate "average" column. A couple strikes will do that to you. Baseball strikes. A couple bowling strikes would put you on top of the world. That phrase simply wouldn't work if I was referencing bowling. I don't know much about sports but that I know. Strikes in baseball is bad. Strikes in bowling is good.

Why don't you go ahead and make yourself a milkshake? Dump some vanilla ice cream in your blender. Then instead of adding cow milk, add some almond milk. You know what you had a nice workout at the gym, why not add a scoop of whey protein to the mix. Blend it up nice and smooth. Oh crap, you forgot to let the dog out. You better do that before he has another accident on the new carpet. Oh you're dog will only go toity if you walk him on a leash? You know what? Go ahead give him the walk he needs, I mean it will give your carpet the peace of mind it deserves.

Well, I'm sorry to say that I forgot to tell you to put your milkshake in the fridge. I mean I didn't think I had to dictate everything you did today. Oh wait, you did remember to pick up after your dog right? Man, your neighbors must really hate you. I suppose you should drink the shake anyways. It's a little melted, but it's still cold, and I'm sure it tastes exactly like a Coco Libre almond protein coconut water. Yes, I know that is the longest title for a beverage ever, but it tastes good, and so does your shake, so lay off.

I'm not going to kid myself; the majority of the people in at the world are going to scoff at the idea of a beverage flavored to taste like flowers. Joe and Jill Everyman are going to have no interest in such a drink, and if it were to show up in convenient store all over the country, there would be a lot of dusty bottles laying around just waiting to spoil. I guess that would be true until the stores decided to mark them down to close to nothing and I would go and buy them up, because they are delicious. If people were willing to give it a try, chances are they would also love it.

The contents of this bottle mostly taste like an agave sweetened, very light grapefruit juice (there's erythritol in there as well, but try as I might I can't taste it). The main flavor of the grapefruit is there, but the tartness is nowhere to be found. Slightly below that is the floral taste of the lilac. It's not floral in a perfume or soap sort of way. It's there in its most calming form. If I sit with the aftertaste I get the taste of the smell of lilacs on my mind. To some that may sound absolutely horrible, but to me it is perfect.

This drink has a flavor that I associate with not having a care in the world. It makes me think about relaxing outside under the shade of a tree, perhaps reading a book. It gives the hope of warmer weather on a day that is blustery and cold. If you see this, don't be a prude. Give it a try and hopefully you'll fall in love.

What's so funny `bout peace, love and Georgia Peach Tea? The answer is nothing, at least for the latter bit. I can't believe it has taken Peace Tea so long to come out with a peach flavored iced tea. I feel like lemon, raspberry and peach are the staple flavors of iced tea. I could see if they were trying to go against the grain, but lemon and Razzleberry have been on the shelves for years. I can assure you it was worth the wait though.

When you're getting 23oz of tea for 99 cents, it's easy to assume that you're not going to be getting quality tea. Can we all agree that Arizona is great for the price, but it's not a quality tea by any means? I love the stuff, but it doesn't compare to companies that flavor their tea before they brew it rather than adding flavoring to a uniform batch of black or green tea. Peace Tea falls into the same category as Arizona, but at least they sweeten their teas with real sugar (and a little sucralose to keep the sugar levels down).

This actually tastes like canned peaches, instead of some candy flavored syrup that a lot of the bigger companies use. It may not be the best peach tea I've ever tasted, but it's better than most, and for the cost how can you say no? Things are a little bit slower down in Georgia, so take your time sipping on this tall can.

I feel like limeade is lemonade's underachieving sibling. Lemonade gets all the good grades, does extra curricular activities like pep squad, fundraisers, and bake sales. Limeade just wants to be an artist and sits in their room with headphones on listening to Jesus and Mary Chain writing blog posts about society and how it's let them down. Thing is, the posts are well written and Jesus and Mary Chain are great. Limeade is just misunderstood.

This limeade should be taken seriously in the future because they're trying to do something different. Yeah, we need more pep rallies. Please. Come on. The only reason we liked pep rallies in high school is because we got out early. We need more meaningful art and people talking about the problems at a young age and less fake friends and more meaningful acquaintances. This drink is pretty great and is different than the cookie cutter lemonade. Look, I love lemonade, but sometimes I need something different. Something dangerous. This has a bit of a Stevia taste for reasons that are as simple and blatant as it is made with Stevia. As for the black cherry, it's right on target. I like this more than probably every black cherry pop I've ever had and the lime makes it just bitter enough that it calms the super sweetness down.

I think that's what limeade would have wanted; just to be recognized as a hard working individual who is doing something different, doing something different well, and doing it with a purpose. They just can't hear you because "Just Like Honey" is playing too loud in their headphones.

I am an adulterer today, friends. After so many people have recommended that I drink Panera's green tea, I decided to try it. "But this is not a review for green tea, you idiot." I know and there is a simple explanation for that. I thought it was one of the teas in the back that you fill yourself. I was incorrect and found out as soon as I walked down past it. Drats. I figured since I hadn't reviewed this, and I had already decided I wasn't going to get my loved Hibiscus tea, that I might as well as "get this out of the way."

I judged too harshly. This isn't bad. I am not on the bandwagon of acai but this isn't too bad. Not too bad at all. It's got a good berry taste with only a slightly and not offensive bitterness from that turd acai. I don't know how Panera makes such good tea all the time but they brew a strong iced tea that pulls all the flavors out of the thing they're tea-ing. They must have some sort of vacuum that is sucking out the flavor and essence. It must have been custom built because they are beating everyone out. Custom flavor vacuum. That's a niche market that needs to be exploited.

Back when things on this planet were younger and simpler there was no such thing as money. Sure gold and jewels were precious and held value, but for normal transactions a barter system was used. If you're like me an image of Mad Max and Master Blaster just floated through the sea of your thoughts. While that may have been a utopian society in the making, it is nothing but fantasy. In the real world bartering did occur, and I'd like to think that the king of bartering was Joe, or the Trader fame.

Joe was the master trader. He was able to tell the way the winds of favor would blow, so he knew what to trade and when. It was like a predecessor of Wall Street. He would trade grapes for cherries in a town where cherries were prevalent. Then he would move on and trade those cherries in a pit free village for some animal furs. He was always trading up and eventually he trader for land and opened a store. Since he knew where he could get all of the highest quality products for the cheapest, his stores prices were low. It was the birth of an empire.

Nowadays things are run differently but Trader Joes remains. One actually just opened up in Buffalo. For those who don't know the company buys products from other companies in bulk and then slaps their own label on it. It's a lot cheaper than buying and running a factory to make each individual foodstuff. I'm not sure who originally made this spiced apple cider, but my hats off to them. It's just apples and spices to flavor. There is nothing artificial, and there is no added sugar. They have bottled the taste of autumn.

I'm from the area of the country where cider flows like water during these months. I am very picky about my cider and normally I do not like any that was not made at a local mill. This though, this is wonderful. The levels of the spices are at a perfect balance with the apple flavoring. It's a dangerous drink in that I could easily be a glutton and drink all 64oz in one sitting. I'm going to do my best not to do that, even though I just finished my second glass.

I cannot express my excitement when I came across this in a gas station in Richmond, VA. Actually that is a lie, I can very much express it by saying that I was slightly more than mildly interested. You see, I saw Canada Dry and my mind instantly went to thoughts of ginger ale. When I read pineapple, I assumed this was a pineapple ginger ale. As you can probably guess, this was no such thing. It is simply a pineapple soda. How great would pineapple ginger ale be though? I think I might just dump some pineapple juice in a bottle of regular Canada Dry and see how it turns out.

If there ever was a standard for pineapple pop, I assume this would be it. It has a general sparkling sugar water flavor with a mild taste of candied pineapple to it. I've had other sodas this flavor that the pineapple flavor is much stronger, and I have to admit, I prefer them. This is perfectly fine though, although while I was drinking it I proclaimed that I always feel trashy drinking pop from a plastic bottle. That's on me though.

Orange, eh? Sir, you are under oath. Do not lie to me. You call this orange? Yes, it is the color orange, but to call this orange is pushing the extent of my patience. If you want to walk out of this courtroom a free man, you have to tell me the truth. Did you doctor this drink in any way? There, now. Was it that hard? What did you put in it? Sucralose? That's one of those artificial sweeteners isn't it? Yeah, that's what I thought. You think I got into the judge's chair by being some sort of idiot?

What else have we got here? It tastes like a watered down Gatorade if I can be so blunt. Is that what you want? A diet tasting, watered down Gatorade? You're fine with that? Sir, please. Let me leave you with these words of wisdom: Don't be average. Be great. Average never did anything noteworthy. You may leave and please pay the bursar the small fee of three hundred and seventy dollars and have a nice day. I hope I left you with something to think about.

There is a place called Turkey Hill. This is a magical place where iced tea flows like water. I'm not making that up, it literally does. On the hill are spouts hidden in the woods with different flavors of iced tea. They are natural springs of iced tea, the only place in the world where this exists.

The only known side affect from Turkey Hill's iced tea springs is cavities. In fact, 93% of the population has dentures due to this. This figure was from 1962, and luckily that number has dropped to 91%. Why the 2% drop over 52 years? In 1972 some kids were wandering behind the train tracks that border the hill. Not many people have gone back there over the years due to the train yard workers being jerks. Anyways, these kids were in the woods and stumbled upon an iced tea spout that wasn't on the official city map. They tasted and it wasn't as sweet as the iced tea they grew up with.

The reason was this had aspartame in it instead of sugar. It didn't taste as good to them, but they had heard about how aspartame doesn't cause as many cavities so they told the whole town about it. Of course, as you can see by the statistics, only 2% of the population decided to start drinking the "diet iced tea" as they called it. Studies have shown that people who can't consume sugar like it, but otherwise it leaves a lot to be desired.

Once again, let me read the ingredient list to you: Apple pieces, cocoa kernels, chocolate chips (sugar, cocoa mass, cocoa powder), strawberry pieces, natural & artificial flavoring, chili, marigold petals. How many pounds can I sign you up for? Time for a little back story.

I went to a place called the "Chocolate Bar" where they have very good food, great desserts, and, from what I've been told, good chocolate martinis. There, they had a special Aztec hot chocolate that I felt the need to try and it was a wonderful decision. It was a wonderful mix of thick hot chocolate with actual chocolate in it with that nice, dusty, gritty Latin chocolate, spicy cinnamon and maybe nutmeg and chili heat in it. It was awesome. I loved it. I assumed, quite blindly, that this would be similar. I was wrong.

Yes, many of the ingredients are shared between the two and the extra ingredients; strawberry pieces; sound fantastic. Was it? Not particularly. It just didn't have any oomph. With all the ingredients and even in the name "Aztec Fire" you would assume there was some heat in this thing, right? Look, I don't want to sweat when I'm drinking a cup of tea, but I would like to get something that tastes more like a light scratch in my throat. I bought something spicy so make it spicy. If people don't want spicy things, they won't order them. That's something I never understood. People understand that things are spicy and if they are labeled as such, then they should not be accessible to all. People who enjoy spicy food do not want to taste mild food when they order spicy food. This is not spicy but it is a bit fruity and you do get a bit of chocolate, too. I was afraid that the chocolate was going to melt and ruin my infuser. It did not. That was a pro. Silver lining.

I've got a lot more of this to drink and I'm actually happy that the employee didn't reel me in with her line of "This is the last day we're going to have this. At eight tonight we are discontinuing it." Whether or not this is true, don't threaten me. That's not how to push product.

Now I'm not a religious man. I'm quite the opposite, but when I saw this bottle of tea staring me back in the face, I thought to myself, "My prayers have been answered." Now that's obviously just a turn of phrase and it's a whole lot more likely that Danny Wegman bugged my phone and heard me talking constantly about how much I, a Thirsty Dude, loves hibiscus tea.

Now, Danny in his excited and impatient ways did hear me correctly but didn't hear me entirely because as much as I love hibiscus tea, I love it with an asterisk.

The way that I like my hibiscus is with a little bit of flair. A little bit of spice. Just a hint of it. I've mentioned this many times but the Tazo Passion and the Panera hibiscus are the epitome of perfect, unsweetened teas. There is something else in there and I think that one of those things is cinnamon. Just a hint of it.

Oh look, another Moxie energy drink that tastes absolutely nothing like their classic soda. At least the citrus one had a decent taste. This just tastes like overly, overly diet carbonated fruit punch. This taste like what I imagine diet Tahitian Treat would taste like. It doesn't even have an energy drink taste to it. That would normally be a nice change up, but all I get is the diet taste of sucralose. I don't know what demographic this energy drink is for, but I am certainly not it.