United States - 4098 Reviews

The Fast and the Furious 6 comes out next week. It would seem appropriate to save this can and review it alongside of the movie, but I don't think they would be so keen on that idea. I could probably wait until an engine revs in the opening credits and time my can opening to that moment so no one would notice. It would probably enhance my experience of watching it.

But let's not kid ourselves, the series is a guilty pleasure of mine and I'm already really excited to see it. Those who know me might be really shocked for my love of a tricked out car racing movie franchise because I have never had my driver's license. I like taking the bus/ riding my bike and have never had to urge/need to drive. As for my love of the Fast and Furious movies, I look at them the same way I do the Die Hard series: they are really fun to watch.

Now for the drink at hand, it's good but not worthy to be featured next to a fancy car that costs more than I will make in 5 years (Mike is the car guy, I don't know the names/makes/models of cars). It's on the better end of diet energy drinks, but it doesn't have much character to it. It's like the racer that crashes first in each movie; they have a prominent role in the movie but are very forgettable.

You know I don't like bananas, right both Ralph and Charlie? You know I do not like them. I know this is turning out to look like a real "green eggs and ham" type thing but I mean it. I don't like it. I know I'm not alone in this. It's not just my average complaint about how pears are terrible. It's a lot less. I just don't like bananas. But, and this is a big but that even the late Sir Mix-A-Lot would approve of, this doesn't really taste like bananas. The best banana is a banana that doesn't taste like a banana. That's what I've only said one time ever in my life. This tastes like a thinner orange smoothie, carrot, and maybe a trace of banana. It's good but somehow doesn't seem to have any sort of nutritional value. I don't really know how that is possible. I guess that 2% fruit juice from concentrate can only go so far.

Sir Mix-a-Lot is not dead. May he live forever in both spirit and every single karaoke night I go to nationwide.

Follow this path of information. Arizona is from Long Island, and they are co-opting a beverage from Brooklyn. Okay, that wasn't too bad was it? They started at the end of last summer when they released their Cherry Lime Rickey, which I believe was their first trek into the world of carbonation. It was a drink I enjoyed. It was pretty crazy, and ridiculously sweet, but on a nice hot day, it was enjoyable. Recently they have released three new flavors into their Rickey line, and they are what they are.

While it may only constitute 10% of the beverage these Rickeys are flavored with real juice. I don't believe there was ever a time in nature when grapes and limes commingled. They certainly are a strange pair when put together, but it's kind of enjoyable. I started drinking this last night at band practice, and it was a bit much to handle. Upon taking one sip I knew there was no way I was going to drink this entire can in one sitting. The label says it's three servings, but Arizona knows as well as we do that we are a country of gluttons and 99% of their customers drink them don't divvy up the portions. They separated the sweetener into HFCS and sucralose to keep the calories down, but it still makes it way sweeter than it needs to be. It is also harshly carbonated, so be aware of that when you go into one of these. Sometimes I really like that kind of carbonation, but last night was not one of them. The grape lime flavor was very interesting though, so it helped me get through half the can. The rest I put in my fridge so that I could review it later.

Here I am, the next afternoon, and now the beverage is lightly carbonated. Without the harsh bubbles, the flavor shines through a lot more. You can definitely taste the grape and lime juices, of course it's through a haze of sweetener, but that is what the majority of the Arizona customer base wants. Unless the temperature is over 85 degrees I probably will not purchase another one of these, but I am still excited to try the other two new flavors.

It is a well known fact that it is more important to have core strength rather than strength in just your extremities. Imagine having a weak little torso, but huge bulky arms. That is just ridiculous. I would like someone to draw a caricature of me looking like that. I will pay you one American dollar for it.

It is a lesser known fact that the best way to increase your core strength is with chocolate milk. Okay that is not exactly true. You do need to do some exercise and the like, but afterwards a properly placed chocolate protein drink will work wonders in building muscle and in being less hungry.

This tastes like a ridiculously good chocolate milk. It's slightly gritty, but it doesn't seem to be in the whey protein way. It's more of a “we didn't completely shave this chocolate down to nothing when we made this drink” kind of way. Just think of them that way; as tiny, miniscule little chocolate flakes. Doesn't that make the drink even better?

Most protein drinks you have to take with a grain of salt, and expect something to be a little off with them. This does not fall victim to that taste-wise and I could pound this all the livelong day. Sure, I would probably be a lard since I'd be ingesting so much protein, but my taste buds would be happy.

There certainly are a lot of "waters" out there. There being the rough streets of Drinkburg. New ones come out every week and although we, the Thirsty Dudes, try to keep up, we're only three incredibly attractive men in our early thirties who look better naked than you could ever imagine. We cannot do it. We do our best, don't get us wrong, but between Glaceau coming out with new lines bi-daily and people trying to keep up, we simply cannot do it. What we can do, which we do do (poop) is drink more than we should to make as much as a dent as possible so that we make it easier for you to make informed decisions on things that you don't really care. You think we don't get it? We know our worth. We know that no one cares about half the stuff we drink but you keep coming back because we offer that "wow" factor...or something.

Slop drinks aside, this is not slop. Quite on the contrary, this drink is both refreshing and delicious. Yeah, you've had kiwi strawberry and you've also probably also had strawberry kiwi drinks and this, albeit not revolutionary or daring, is very good at what it does. It's lightly sweetened, quite fruity, water or, as I like to call it, a friggin' juice. I don't know the difference between this and a juice. Did the word "juice" somehow become offensive like the day I woke up and the term "Mulatto" was racist? Seriously. I was taught that term in school and, yeah, I'm progressive enough to move forward as soon as someone tells me what happened in the last twenty years that made that word and the word "juice" bad words.

Potential racism aside, this drink is pretty great and something about the word "grin" actually makes me smile. I feel like I don't hear it anymore. I need more grins, this drink, and a list of words I cannot use since I learned them in school and that's all I need. Oh, and this paddle game! And that's all I need.

Did you know that white tea helps to promote healthy skin? Well the internet tells me it does, and the internet never lies. Armed with this knowledge I would like to suggest that Celebritea partners up with Courtney Love for some publicity. Sure she appears to be an absolute nut job, but if this video is any indication she'll up for promoting companies.

Oh you don't know what Courtney Love has to do with tea? Well, her band has an album called Celebrity Skin. Get it? Celebritea Skin. The ad campaign would focus on the positive effects this drink can have on your skin, and of course we would use the same song as the NJOY commercial.

I don't know why she wouldn't agree. This is a tasty tea, especially for having stevia in it (as well as cane sugar) to cut down on the sugar. It's got a classic white tea taste with mellow blueberry and acai overtones. You get a bit of stevia in the end, but it's not too terrible. So get her on the horn and make this happen. You can send me my 10% when you get everything sorted out.

I'm sorry, sir. Did you give my son a lime with a razor blade in it for Halloween? I swear to God that if you did I am going to take the razor out of the lime and slice your throat. No, you listen to me. I thought that was just a scary thing we told kids to not take things from strangers but now that it's out in the open and people are doing it, I don't know what to do as a parent. I tried to move to a nice part of town and into a place where I my kids are safe, or at least I thought my kids would be safe. No, I'm not done talking. You come into this town thinking you can get away with this stuff. Don't you know there is a block club where we talk about stuff like this? Fine. What do you have to say for yourself, you scum?

You what? Don't you lie to me! I'm a very powerful mother with four kids and will not take any of your garbage. You gave them what? A drink? My son Danny told me you gave him a lime with a razor blade in it. Danny, you told me. No. I explicitly heard...Oh it was like a lime with a razor blade in it. Do you have any more? Jesus, you're right. It tastes like lemon lime pop but the carbonation is actually sharp. You said this is diet, too? Eh, it's not too bad and I'm always drinking diet stuff.

Mister. I'm very sorry. You have to see it from my point of view, though. If you heard that your kid had gotten something with a razor blade in it, you would freak out, too, and rightfully so. I'm sorry. Please come to our next block club meeting and I'll bake you some cookies. Have a good night and I hope I didn't scare away your trick or treaters. Then again, that's the point of Halloween, right? Ha. Could I have another bottle of that, please? It's pretty good. I'll toss in another dozen cookies. Thank you. Hey! There is a razor blade floating in this drink! Eh, I guess I deserved it. I was a real jerk to him, Danny.

This morning Mike and I had a meeting at the local Coke bottling facility. Our new friends there told us about what they do and about the new products coming out. Once that concluded we were taken on a tour of the warehouse/bottling section. Everything was normal and on the up and up until we came to a make shift boxing ring tucked away in a back corner. When we questioned its existence, our tour guide gave us a sly smile and tossed us a can of this new Monster Baller's Blend. He said it was a way to promote the new SKU inside the company. Every week the warehouse employees downed a can of this fruit punch flavored energy drink and had it out in the ring to see who would take the upcoming weekend shifts.

We were in luck because the week's fights were just about to start. We sat there as approximately two dozen employees cracked open a case of Punch Energy and used their keys to pop holes in them and shotgunned the hell out of those cans. Mike and I watched on as we sipped our can. It was surprisingly good. We were actually taken aback by how decent it was. When we think of a fruit punch energy drink the only image in my mind was an overly sweet cheap tasting syrupy mess. Luckily the liquid inside has a nice fruit punch flavor that doesn't seem too childish. I believe that was due to the fact that it's sweetened with sugar, so it's not too syrupy and the slight general energy drink flavor gave it a more adult taste.

We only had time to watch the first couple fights, but let me tell you those warehouse guys were no joke. This was an all out bare-knuckle brawl, with a bunch of grown men who were all sorts of amped up on energy punch. The second forklift operator lost at least one tooth that I saw. I guess when you're weekend is at risk and the weather finally getting nice out, you're gonna do what you have to do for some time in the sun. The invited Mike and I to go a few rounds against each other for the titled of Duke of the Dudes of Thirst, but we politely declined. There were tacos in our future and we didn't want to take a chance of ruining that with bloody lips and black eyes. Instead we downed the last few sips of our tasty beverages, said our goodbyes and made our way out into the wild world of taquerias.


As you may have guess by that last line, none of this is actually true, except that we did have a tour/meeting and we drank this surprisingly good beverage. There are no real taquerias in Buffalo, and that is the shame of our city.

Can you guess what I'm going to say about this tea? Oh perhaps it's that it's so sweet with a high concentration of fruit flavor that you can't taste the yerba mate that is supposed to be the base of the drink.

This drink is 100% natural, yet it tastes like it should be some random drink you find at a gas station. You know you go in and see a weird iced tea you've never tried and when you drink it you're in disappointment city because it just tastes like a sugar drink. Okay, that was a bit harsh, this is a lot better then that, but I so badly want this to have a strong yerba mate flavor that is nowhere to be found. Instead I'm left with a whole lot of sugary mango and the slightest notion of some tea.

I've been around for thirty years and I still don't remember when it gets warm. We in Western New York get spoiled once in January with a fifty-degree day and a little bit in May with near tropical temperatures then it drops back down. To psych myself out and make my dumb body feel like it's summertime, I cracked this bottle of vintage open. Vintage because it's been over a year since I've had this on me and have been, well, dreading drinking it. It gets a little more credit than I've given it though because it's not too bad. It's not too bad for a melted Popsicle, if I were twelve. I'm thirty. This takes me back to a lot of fun times as a kid and just being dumb. If you want to get dumb again, drink some of this with some friends you went to junior high with and play some street hockey, listen to Michael Jackson "Dangerous," and live it up. When this drink is done, you have to get in your sedan and get back to your desk job. The last fifteen years have sucked in hindsight, right?

Here we have one of the originals of the Arizona line. It's not very common nowadays. I was actually asked if it was a new flavor when I pulled it out to parch my thirst at band practice last night. I'm pretty sure the reason this flavor never became more popular is that I don't believe that it was ever released as a tall boy can; I've only ever seen it in glass and plastic bottles. It's a shame because this is way better than you would expect. Even though it is sweetened with high fructose corn syrup, you can actually taste the real brewed tea, instead of just sugar water. Sure, there is a decent amount of sugar in this drink, but it tastes like mass produced sweetened iced tea should. I'm looking at you with disappointment Brisk. That's right, you're getting the “dad face” while Arizona gets a proud arm around it's shoulder.

Dear Kraft, You sent us these samples months ago and I'm sorry I'm just getting around to reviewing this now. You see it somehow fell behind the giant mountain of drinks that is my kitchen, and it wasn't until I tried to organize everything yesterday that I found it. Such a little squeeze container can easily get lost in a forest of the gluttonous large bottles of most American beverages. In this country we are taught that more is better, but most of the time that is not true. More often ends up with stomachaches, cavities and diabetes.

The more is better mentality also does not fare well with Crystal Light Liquids. When they say one squeeze for each 8oz serving, they mean a small squeeze, not a big honking one. With a small squeeze you get a nice fruity flavor that tastes more like a tea that it should for not having any tea in it. IT has a general tropical fruit flavor rather than one of specific fruit. There is also a slight diet flavor from the sucralose they use to sweeten it, but it's more than manageable. The more you squeeze, the less pleasant the flavor become and the more the diet taste of it all jumps out at you.

When done properly this can make a nice little beverage for those weirdoes in the world that don't like the taste of water. It's also a nice substitute for sugar water if you're trying to lose some weight or just consume healthier beverages, just don't overdo it like you did those bacon triple cheeseburgers that got you into this mess in the first place.

Sadly this is my last bottle of Ralph & Charlie's. When we received a shipment of juices that were nearly all carrot based I did not expect to be taken on the wild trip that is concluding today. Carrots are great, but drinking them does not sound like something I would ever look forward to. This company has come up with the wonderful mixtures of carrots and other fruits and vegetables that are always interesting and leave me wanting more.

The idea of mixing carrots and cranberries has never crossed my mind. Sure both are staples at Thanksgiving, but I don't think of them as a team. Never in a million years would I expect their combination to taste the way this juice does. It is very sweet, without crossing over the line of tooth decay. It's also very fruity, which is due to apple juice being the second ingredient, following water. This is essentially a cranapple juice with carrots mixed in to give it just enough of a unique flavor to make you sit back and savor each sip.

I find myself wondering how this drink would fare if it didn't have sugar added to it. Would it be even better, or is the sugar necessary to give the carrot juice the little push it needs to not overpower the rest of the flavors?

Thank you for coming to the 3 o'clock show of The Great Blastino! I hope you all enjoyed the past 20 minutes of magic and illusions. We have time for one final trick, The Miraculous VBlast! In this trick I will turn an ordinary bottle of water in a vitamin packed treat with a light purple hue.

For this trick I will need a volunteer from the audience. Yes you, you will do nicely. Will you please come up here and inspect this bottle. Feel free to taste it. Can you confirm that this bottle is full of nothing but ordinary water? Yes? Good. Now let me return the cap, say the magic words, BolognaOnPastrami! Now you will notice that the fluid in the bottle has changed in color. Please take another sip and tell us how it now tastes. Ahh yes, you say it has a nice light grape candy flavor, but in a diety sort of way. You would be correct. You will also be happy to know that you just received a mouthful of crucial vitamins in a fun and interesting way.

Now folks magicians aren't supposed to reveal their secrets, but truth be told I actually am an employee of the VBlast Corporation and this entire performance was put together as a marketing technique to introduce you to our newest vitamin drink. You see it truly was just a bottle of spring water; the vitamins are all stored in the cap, which once you twist it causes the contents to drop into the water. All you need to do then is shake it up and enjoy. Bottles are available for sale in the lobby. I will also be out shortly to sign autographs.

This is the least dramatic Joia I have had. Is it still good? Yes. Is it as good? No. I enjoy the oddities that come from these guys. This one still has nutmeg and jasmine, which, for all intents and purposes, are strange ingredients. What does it do? It makes for some of the best sparkling orange juice I've ever had. I would amp it up, Joia. That's what you do. Ramp it up. Double the nutmeg. I want this to taste like a Christmas orange juice drank inside of a floral wonderland. This is just a great orange juice with fizzles. Yeah. Fizzles. I do what I want. This is great just not as great as I wanted it to be. Still got a four out of five. Even when they fail they win.

Hell hath no fury like my scorn for gross energy drinks. If this were someone's first energy drink, I wouldn't blame them for never wanting to try another one again. This is hard to stomach. I don't know if it's the un-original "energy drink" taste that is as bland/gross as the packaging of this can, or the sucralose that is burning an ulcer into my stomach. I have a deadline on Monday and am trying to get ahead so I don't have much to do this weekend. Despite my stomach telling me to stop, I keep drinking this. And you know what? It's not getting any better.

I just took another sip; yup it's still nearly undrinkable.

Sweet tea. I've spent too much of my life critiquing it. I won't let it go either. It's the simplest thing to make. Anyone can make it. Black tea. Sugar. Done. I've modernized it a little bit by adding Monin syrup but it's only concentrated cane sugar so it's the same thing just cleaner than cups and cups of loose sugar. As soon as someone wants to add anything, even something that is a tea like yerba mate, can throw it off. I have had a couple versions of yerba mate, too and this is strange mix. It's not a very good yerba mate as it has close to no bitterness. If you are going to call it one thing, deliver it on that one thing. It's as simple as that. As a sweet tea it's pretty close. You can tell that it's good sugar and good tea. It's a little "softer" than I would like a tea but it's good. If I went to a restaurant and they gave me this in a glass, I would be stoked because it's not garbage fountain syrup tea. If I had a handful of ice and a glass next to me, I would serve this to myself ice cold. This is good. I wouldn't be mad if they removed "yerba mate" from the line all together because this is my second one and I feel it's been lacking. Jesus I love sweet tea.

First things first; I believe the label for this packaging was misprinted. You see I have this and a bottle of the mango pear sitting in front of me, and the ingredients lists are the same. Sure they could just use different quantities, but I don't taste pear in this at all, and I had the “non-diet” version of this a while back and that had mango and pineapple in it, and this tastes the same as I remember that. Just a heads up Bai, you might want to look into that.

As I just mentioned two seconds ago I had the regular version of this, and I have to say this tastes eerily close to it, even though erythritol was swapped out for the cane juice, the flavor stays fairly consistent. It still has a great mango flavor with some pineapple mixed in. I'm going to feel like a real idiot if there is not any pineapple in the 5 calorie version, but I can taste it, but it could be totally psychosomatic. It also has a nice white tea base that is hard to miss. There is only the faintest erythritol coolness to this. So little that if I didn't know it was in there, I might not notice. Bai did a great job masking the flavor, while still keeping it low in calories. Good job folks.

Honey is a wonderful thing. Think of all those millions of bees out there working their little stingers off for their queen and as a result leaving this sweet delicious waste behind. That's right, honey is essentially bee poop, and we all love it.

Ginseng on it's own is rather gross. Have you ever had one of those Asian energy drinks that are basically ginseng root floating in water? They taste like the water that is strained through a potted plant, or so I would assume. Ginseng mixed into other drinks can be pretty alright though.

The thing is when honey and ginseng are mixed together; all I can think of are cough drops. No one wants to be reminded of the things they need to ingest when they are ill. It just causes waves of gross feeling to wash all over you.

As a result of all I have written above, I fully expected this to taste like a cough drop bathed in a sea of chemical energy drink grossness with a hint of diet poison. I am very grateful that the Xyientists would never let that come to pass. They busted out their Erlenmeyer flasks and their Bunsen burners and burned the midnight oil (whilst listening to “Diesel and Dust”) to create a downright tasty drink that they themselves could have utilized on that late night.

This is firstly a green tea. It has a bit of a honey edge to it, but you can't really taste the “dirt” ginseng flavor. It comes nowhere near cough drop flavor, which is a huge plus. The flavor of the sucralose blends in well with the energy drink flavor, and it ends up not tasting too much like either. It's also non-carbonated, which is a nice direction for energy drinks to move in. These new lines of tea and lemonade Xyience beverages that come out have all put a nice twist on a beverage style that is becoming increasingly stale and boring.

Pomegranate Lychee, huh? Yeah, I'll take it. Deliver it to my mouth; right in there. Wait...I asked for pomegranate lychee but you just gave me pomegranate. Sir? I'm sorry, sir? I asked for pomegranate lychee and you just gave me pomegranate. You're saying it is in there? Well I don't really taste it. I guess if I give you the benefit of the doubt and said that I might taste it at the very end but not so much as to call it out on the bottle. I will say, that is a fine bottle you've got there, sir. It's a shame that most people will throw it out and most of those people will not recycle it. Aforementioned issues aside, this is a good, sparkling drink. It's fruity and the fizziness gives it a nice touch. You've done a wonderful job even though you mislead me a tad with the whole "there is lychee in here" thing. We're over that now, though. We're bros again.