United States - 4098 Reviews

I'm thirsty; can you bring me a bottle of Dr. Pepper? All you have is a generic Dr. Pepper? Alright, I guess that will do. Why did you...ok, I guess you opened it for me. Thanks! But why are you carrying a vile of battery acid in your other hand? Seriously??!? You're going to skateboard the bottle over to me!? Deny it all you want, I saw some of that battery acid splash up. Ugh, I wish I wasn't so thirsty. Sure soda isn't the best thing for thirst but it's the only thing available right now.

UGH... yup, some battery acid definitely made it's way into the bottle. It's not THAT bad, but still nothing I would go out of my way of experimenting with again.

Passion fruit. The fruit of passion. Rumor has it, if you eat one right before...you know...rocking the sheets, you will have a better time than if you go in un-fruited. Now a passion fruit drink filled with vitamins and minerals specially formulated to help you get the job done is another story. Fresh out of the fridge, this drink is pretty good. It's got a strong passion fruit taste and a little diet taste but not terribly offensive. The longer you take to drink it though, buddy, it goes downhill.

Look, if I'm getting ready for a night in the sack, I would chug this until the can is empty or I ran out of breath so that's not a problem. If you are drinking it as a casual drink, which is strange since you aren't normally doin' it at 1:20pm on a workday, you are going to suffer the consequences. This drink gets more diet tasting and more cough syrupy the longer you take to drink it. If it tasted like it does now all the time, I would have rated this lower, but since I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt of you slamming this before a sweet night of love making, I'm upping the review.

Sometimes, and truckers I'm looking at you, all the horny goat weed in the world just doesn't do the trick. You need something else for those hungry lot lizards. That something else is this bido Juice. It's for your libido. That's your sexuals. It will help you put another notch on the ol' bedpost while in the (un)comforts of your own truck in that odd bed that probably doesn't have actual bedposts so you might just draw a little tick on the wall. Oh the wall in the cab of a truck. I imagine it looking like an old movie jail cell where there are just ticks everywhere. Truckers, you are men. Nabbin' skirts. That's your second job. Delivering packages and delivering packages. That's what you do.

"Maybe I'll get a Jamocha shake." I said to myself in the pouring rain as we were on our way to Arby's. I don't normally get shakes but I thought for that reason I might get one. One foot in the joint and I saw this...

...and thought it might be good for the site. You know, people like Arby's. Everyone loves to say "Horsey Sauce" and new products are always fun.

As you can see, what I got did not exactly resemble what was shown but I understand not everything can be so fancy. Rather than pulling a "Falling Down" I decided to drink this and not say a word, well, until now I guess. I honestly don't care how this came to me, it was just drastic enough to point out.

I kind of knew what I was in for and it's very easy to explain. Take a vanilla milkshake, crush a handful of starlight mints in it, blend, put more crushed mints on top, drink. That's it. There might have been a pink, mint syrup involved, too, because I can't see how the colors ran so much in such little amount of time. You probably think I'm going to make a "These colors don't run." or "America" reference but not today. Instead I'll come through and let you know what a drink was like. Novel idea for a website that claims to review drinks, right?

It was good. I certainly didn't need as much as I received and sure, I could have just stopped drinking but the chunks of candy were at the bottom and, much like a drug addict or an eight years old boy on Halloween, I just couldn't stop. Poor kids. They just love candy so much. I bet both of those parties would enjoy this milkshake. It would probably help out the meth head's bad breath due to lack of teeth and dental coverage.

Powell's is my favorite bookstore in the world. Sure, I haven't been to EVERY bookstore in the world, but it's my favorite of the ones I've been to. It is literally impossible for me to go there without walking out with a book (or 5). If you're ever in Portland, OR, do yourself a favor and go to their store downtown. It's huge (4 stories, and a full city block), and their used book selection is incredible (which are shelved right next to the corresponding new book on the shelf).

Last week when I was in the downtown store, I saw this bottle and my face lit up! This is a limited edition soda (made by local soda company Hot Lips Soda) made to commemorate Powell's 41st birthday. They picked the perfect flavor combination because this is incredible! I never thought raspberries and pears would go so well together, but they do. I used to dislike how little carbonation Hot Lips soda had, but I've come to love it. The lack of bubbles, and the fact that it's sweetened naturally by the fruit, really makes this taste great.

Books and soda, two of my all time favorite things together at last!

Sometimes you find yourself on tour with a bunch of your friends. You (they) play a bunch of shows and it's fun and awesome and everyone has a good time. Sometimes you don't have as place to stay at the end of the night and that is a bummer. Sometimes while you're standing around trying to figure out what you're going to do you get a call that friends are playing a show down the street, so you go to check it out. Sometimes you wind up on Lagwagon's tour bus at two in the morning. Sometimes you get handed a drink and you would normally turn it down because you don't drink, but then you look at it and you realize it's a ginger ale that you haven't reviewed on your dumb drink review website.

It was a fun night, and even though I don't particularly care about the band, everyone who was around was really nice and we had a good time. The ginger ale was fairly standard. It tasted like pretty much every no name ginger ale out there. If you've had a ginger ale in a restaurant or at a family party you know what this tastes like. The can is graphically appealing though. It's got a nice logo and a pleasant color scheme.

Deep in the not so frozen tundra of Worcester, MA there is a factory where the locals have imprisoned a team of polar bears and they force them to make soda pop. They originally made their own beverages, but they realized that they weren't quite up to snuff. So traps and snares were laid and polar bears were transported to the north east of America. Hence he Polar premium line was born. Those bears worked tirelessly on different formulas and recipes until they had created a surprisingly dark root beer with a huge head on it (due to the addition of quiaia extract). It has a nice vanilla flavor, and you can taste bits of caramel in the aftertaste. The problem wasn't making the soda. It was getting people to give it a try. You see, their old line was seen by people as more or less on par with store brand. It was cheap and available everywhere. They knew it would take some time and some marketing, but once people tried the soda they would be hooked, or so the bears told them. As we all know, bears know best. They whispered in my ear what to write in this review. It probably just comes off as the ramblings of a mad man, but who am I to argue with some gigantic polar bears?

I just spent four days traveling across Canada searching bodegas high and low for new drinks. It wasn't until days later in a pizza shop in Philadelphia that I came across some bottles of Canadian Dry Vanilla Cream. I had never heard of such a flavor existing, and I would never have expected top find it in as sea of cheesecakes and peanut chews. Myself and everyone I was with, were super pumped for a vanilla ginger ale. Think about that for a second. How incredibly awesome of a soda would that be? Unfortunately Canadian Dry didn't have the vision to make such a drink. This is nothing more than a cream soda. It's on of the best HFCS sweetened cream sodas I've ever tasted, but it's still just a cream soda and the lack of ginger is a disappointment.

It has quite a strong vanilla smell that reminds me of vanilla extract. The flavor is about the same, but it is pretty thick and syrupy. If this was sweetened with cane sugar it would probably be through the roof good. Dear Canada, America has stolen your company and used inferior sweeteners. You should stand up for yourself.

It's not often that most Americans find themselves in the state of Maine. I certainly do not find myself often enough. It's a great state full of awesome nature and apparently awesome drinks such as those made by the Oakhurst Dairy.

This is labeled as raspberry flavored lemonade, but it's really a glorious lemonade flavored raspberry drink. There is a whole lotta sugar in this drink, but that is the way lemonade should be. I love this way more than I expected to. The raspberry flavor is great. I wish it was still blazing hot summer out and this would beat the heat like nobodies business.

Next Sunday Mike and I will be going to see Insane Clown Posse. Mike was given tickets for some unknown reason, so we're going as scientists to watch the Juggalos in their native habitat. We certainly would never have spent money to go to see them, but when it's free why not? Hopefully we'll get to witness the rare mating ritual of a "down Juggalette" eating a hot dog, whilst her face make up drips all over it. Okay, now that I have made myself vom, let's talk about this drink. In order to mentally prepare myself for the voyage ahead I decided to drink some Moon Mist. Actually back to ICP. Do they have a specific flavor of Faygo that they spray everyone with, or are they non-discriminatory about it? I would guess they would use Red Pop for the most visible coverage. Oh well.

So yeah, Moon Mist. It tastes like crab juice...err Mountain Dew, as is to be expected. The twist is that it has slightly more lemon-lime flavor to it than it's major corporation big brother. Not being a fan of original Mountain Dew this didn't do much for me, but if that's your cup of tea this would be a nice alternative to mix things up a bit.

Summer is depressingly over. If you live where I live, you can essentially kiss the sun goodbye (great album name that is available with credit given to me) for the next six months. These are things we deal with on the East Coast. Oh it's bright and you still need sunglasses but you can't see the sun and need twelve jackets to fight the ice age that is northeast winters. It's fine. It's really no big deal.

Why do I bring up the sun and a paragraph of nothing before I review a drink? Well for two reasons mostly. Number one is that I'm trying to create a picture and a scene and number two is that we are terrible at writing drink reviews. You can't really say otherwise and if you do, well, thanks. You're too kind. Wrong, but kind. We're narrative masterminds but we are not product reviews.

So aloe is used to cure us from the sun's lashings upon our fair skin. Human skin was made for holding in our muscles, guts, and organs. "Guts" might be slang for organs so I might have just said the same thing twice but I didn't want to leave anyone out. Now that the sun isn't out we can't get burnt, the role of aloe turns from topical to internal usage. That's right. Aloe drinks are winter drinks to prep our skin from the inside out to prepare it for the emergence of the sun come April. What better way to do it that with the help of Aloic? It's not overly sweet, still has a ton of chunks, and that grapy taste that anyone who likes grape juice or has drank an aloe drink in the past loves. The sweetness part is the item that gets my love. That is a problem I have with a lot of aloe drinks is that they are too sweet. Good, but too sweet. This solves that problem in a delicious, chunky way.

I can feel my skin tightening and toughening up as I drink this. Every sip is one more day I don't have to wear sunscreen, a safari hat, and pants in the summer to protect me from that jerk sun. I appreciate all that you do what with annually burning my lawn and killing my flowers with your relentless rays, but sometimes you can be a real turd. Just tone it down a little bit. Go hide behind the clouds and read a nudie mag or something so we can stop fertilizing and melting.

Fall is here and so is cider. I love apple cider! It's 1000 times better than normal/boring apple juice. If you disagree then I'm sorry, but we can't be friends. Cider in the Pacific Northwest (at least in Portland) isn't as common as it is in Western New York. This is sad, but don't worry I'm surviving.

Leave it to Columbia Gorge to come up with this beautiful bottle of deliciousness. What are even better are the ingredients: Apples, Ginger Juice. That's it! Two ingredients!! And it's organic on top of it.

The best part is that it tastes EXACTLY how I imagined it was going to. It's a really nice clean and crisp apple cider, with a great ginger burn in the after taste. It doesn't seem that strong at first, but once it hit my stomach, it was strong. Personally I would have love to have had more ginger in this so it was really intense, but I understand they are trying to please everyone and I'm sure most people don't have the ginger tolerance that me and the other Thirsty Dudes have. I hope more companies follow their lead and make cider with ginger in it.

Charlie, why do you drink pop all the time? You know that the giant things of tea I make are communal, right? You didn't? Tea is like free. I know we're broke, but tea is my eternal gift to you. I don't even care if you finish it. I enjoy making it, I enjoy drinking it, I would enjoy if you enjoyed it instead of that grocery store cola you're always slamming. I put lemons in it, yes. I don't expect you to cut up lemons like I do if you make it but it's a nice little treat to have a lemon tea. Oh, you need more in there? Well let's spruce it up a little bit. What have we got in the cupboard here. Oh, awesome, mint leaves. I don't know when else I would use these. Let's put these in here, go get something to eat, come back and drink some tea.

A LITTLE BIT LATER...

You know what, Charlie? I don't care what anyone says about McNugget's. I love them and they've always been delicious. Let's get that glass of tea, right? It's pretty good. A little hint of mint and not at all toothpasty. The lemon just kind of adds to the flavor but it's all good. I'm going to have to do this with the mint more often. Thanks, Charlie, for your inspirational recipe additions. Now I know why I keep you around. What? It was a joke. I don't care that you hang around the house all day playing my Xbox, as long as you make rent and bills, you can do whatever you want. We're young. Now is the time to do this. Give me more of that tea. We've got video games to play!

Don't fear the chia. Embrace the chia. It's good for you. According to the label it's good for hydration, endurance, heart health, brainpower, and fun. The last is one of the most important ones because one bottle is not going to do much for the other ones. Having people try a drink with chunks in it is fun, I should know. I do it all the time.

If you don't know, no, you can't taste the seeds if you're just drinking it. If your mulling the drink around, you can taste it a little, but they're so small and slimy that it just makes the drink taste a little thicker. It's not at all gross, but it's enough to scare people away. Wimps.

It's not all good, though. This is "lemony," which is the point. Like if I squirted a lemon in your mouth flavor, not candied lemon. I didn't get a whole lot of blueberry, which is the "B Meyer" part of the flavor, whatever that is from. Even though it's not the number one sweetener, this drink has Stevia in it and, as Jay mentioned earlier, it's getting old. It's kind of overpowering because it mixes with the lemon leaving you with a kind of undesirable sour-tartness.

I do look forward to the other flavors. I just think that the lemon flavor melds poorly with everything else that's happening in this bottle.

A high quality tea is not hard to make but rather hard to come by. It seems this day everyone is a wimp and a half. The teas that are readily available are pretty mediocre at best and the good stuff, the top shelf iced teas, are few and far between. The difference between the two is typically that the high quality teas use less and real sugar and have a bit of complexity to them. I don't know what the general public is scared of. Adult flavors? Dude, if you put a can of Brisk next to a bottle of this, or any Argo tea, you would never drink that swill again. I mean it. That tea stings and no tea is supposed to sting. High fructose, overly sweetened garbage. I'm not saying that only Brisk is and sometimes Brisk is good but as far as "good" iced tea is concerned, anything in a can should stay in the can.

This tea is bold and bitter. It's a red tea so it's not as smooth as a black tea and actually tastes a little bit like a mate. The pomegranate is a nice, fruity taste that is with you the whole time but is no overshadowed or overshadowing. It's the well-behaved dog that we all want that knows what "heel" means. Red tea and pomegranate; neck and neck the whole time. No bad aftertaste and just a whole lot of loud flavor. There are four ingredients in this tea, too. It couldn't be simpler: water, red tea, cane sugar, and pomegranate juice. That's all it takes. That's all it takes to shelve literally dozens of gross teas to never be drank again.

Argo is not setting out to destroy the competition, but they could easily do it if they used cheaper bottles and lowered their price. The great bottles house great tea and they know it. It also sets them apart so keep those bottles. You're modest, Argo and you deserve it.

Poor Teddy used to love his root beer. Everyday after herding cattle, he would come back to his modest house and sit in his favorite chair and enjoy a nice tall bottle of root beer. Then one day the doctor told him he couldn't have any more sugar. Teddy was obviously very sad. Suddenly his life wasn't as great as it used to be without his daily root beer.

That's when he decided to make his own root beer with a new "fake" sugar called sucralose. People were skeptical at first, but once they had a sip they were sold. Sure it wasn't as sweet as real sugar, but it was a great substitute for those who can't consume sugar but still want the delicious taste of root beer.

I have never seen X Factor. I know what it's about. Do I need to watch that to review this? I hope not. I don't hate Simon Cowell. I think that his role in television in unnecessary because the people who aren't good enough to be on television shouldn't be on television. I think, yes, he tells people what they need to hear but his role was created to solve a problem that didn't exist. That man is a heck of a driver, though, brother. Skills. He's good. So, for the wheelman Mr. Cowell, I will review your drink.

Simon, this is a nice drink. It's the first I've seen a major corporation utilize such a unique product as dragonfruit. I couldn't drink this entire bottle because I enjoy my teeth, current weight, and don't have dental insurance to fix them. I know you always sit on television with the world's largest glasses of pop but you and I both know that it's not pop in there all the time and that it's merely an advertising piece. You are a true Englishman and are probably drinking tea. It's in your blood. That's not to say that you can't drink pop, but your body craves a nice Earl Gray. That's not me creepily telling you that "I know what you want, Simon." but it's just a broad, blanket assumption.

Simon, I don't know what role you played in the planning of this drink but you didn't a good job and should take credit for it if you did. It's better than lemon Pepsi was. Vanilla was pretty good but this is a completely separate animal as far as I am concerned. This is Pepsi with a fruity taste. I'm going to get in trouble for saying that it's good because companies that more properly utilize dragonfruit are very passionate about it and get upset when companies much smaller and less influential misuse their precious, favorite fruit. They've got their own market and you've got yours. "You" in that previous sentence was you, Mr. Cowell and Pepsi.

I hope/trust you have a good season on the X Factor this year. I hope that it allows you to buy wonderful new cars. That's sincere, from one gear head to another.

Is this what honeybell oranges taste like? Really? Do people want this? They do? Well, jeez. I don't know what to say other than your opinions on "good tasting" fruit is terrible. This tastes like orange flavored powder mix sweetened by an overly sweetened massacre of Stevia's crappy, younger brother Xylitol. The time I spent with orange flavoring was promptly annihilated by the time I spent with a strange, overly sweet drink.

I don't know if I could correct this. Half the sweetness? Twice the tea? That might make a taller bottle. I think less sweetness could have saved this. It's not that I don't appreciate the fact that I've never had a honeybell orange before because I do, but this is no honeybell orange. Believe you me.

This is an energy drink that is put out/sponsored by NASCAR driver Robby Gordon. Is that even close to a good idea? I feel like driving in a circle at high speeds requires intense concentration. All of the garbage in energy drinks tends to make people jittery or jumpy, at least I know that's how I get. This doesn't seem to be a specially formulated drink that helps with concentration like NERD (aka the steroids of NASCAR). It's the opposite actually. This was the cheapest energy drink the gas station had, and I was expecting the taste to reflect the cost. I was happily wrong and this has a decent citrus taste. It's reminiscent of the Monster Khaos drink, except this one has no actual juice in it. It has a flavor that I would describe as orange drink and tangerine drink mixed together, but not as thick. There's something about citrus flavor in energy drinks that helps to block out the chemical flavor in them. I'm very surprised that I liked this as much as I did, and I would drink it again if I found myself in a gas station needing a pick-me-up. Let's just hope the number of crashes in NASCAR isn't proportionate to the spike of energy drink use. I know the crashes are probably the only exciting thing about a race, but there are real people in those cars and I don't want to see anyone getting seriously hurt.

I've had this drink spilled on me and I've spilled this drink. I handed it off to my girlfriend to try and she thought that handing it to me at mach 3 with the lid off was a good idea. That was how it was spilled on me. I spilled it on myself because I over chugged. I didn't know what my mouth limit was and just kept chugging until I overflowed. That's a good thing for good ol' Rob. I simply couldn't get enough and threw limits out the window like an unwanted apple core. That is the only littering I do is apple cores. You will never see me throw as much as a crumpled gum wrapper out of the winder of my car. Yeah, this is the only planet we have, for now at least, but more importantly is that I'm not a scumbag.

Anyhow, this drink is good: a little tart, as advertised, and a solid juice throughout. It's quite laden with that Stevia taste that I like and if you do, too, you'll be down with this drink. If I hadn't just brushed my teeth, I would have slammed the rest of that leaving my face, torso, and floor beneath me all sticky.

I think I've reached my limit with stevia. I know it's healthier because it's a zero calorie sweetener and it tastes much better than the dreaded aspartame and sucralose, but I feel like it's in 80% of the new drinks that have come out this year. I'm just getting sick of it.

I really wish I could try this drink with real sugar. I think I would absolutely love it. A lightly passionfruit flavored water drink with some vitamins added to it sounds great. Unfortunately the stevia cuts through a little too much. I've heard that stevia helps bring out the natural flavors in a drink, but to me it has a very specific flavor that can combat the actual flavor of the drink a bit too much for my liking. The aftertaste of this is too stevia for me. The entire passionfruit flavor is lost after you swallow. It's unfortunate. Minus the stevia this is a great drink. I would truly enjoy this other than that.