High Fructose Corn Syrup - 485 Reviews

You know we did this right, right? We're scientists. Jay and I are scientists. We bought a gnarly 6er of Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray, brought it back to Jay's cracked open a bottle and mulled it over. One single bottle was split between 6 people. It was like a drum circle if, instead of everyone playing at the same time and having it sound like cacophony, we each took turns expressing what it was this made us think of. Then it started to get weird. You see, this tastes 90%+ like celery. No lie. Just like sparkling celery. It's spot on. Couldn't taste more like it, if you ask me. The other ~10% is slight sweetness and maybe a hint of Sprite, according to my dad, who took part in version 2 of a 6 person taste test.

Here's where it got fun and experimental. Eating celery is awesome. All those negative calories and the added benefit of knowing you're going to have a clean digestive tract...what?!?!? Dan and I took it up a notch on the ol' belt of life and said, "Ants on a log!" and Jay was out of raisins, but was not out of peanut butter so we would eat peanut butter, take a swig of Cel-Ray and just smile. It was fun. It was a take on a classic kid treat.

I love ants on a log and I love Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray.

Oh, some cheap juice? Gross.

That's the old Mike. Now that I've drunk literally hundreds of different drinks from all over, I have to come back to drinks like this and give them a second shot. It's like the food critic that even though he eats at five star restaurants day in and day out, he still likes to go to Burger King because Whoppers are still friggin' delicious.

So Dan, knowing that I am on a real melon kick purchased this cat for me when he was in Ohio. On the front; watermelon and what I think is honeydew because it's green. Smell-wise, it's like a fruit punch in the nostrils. It's strong, but fruity as all heck. It's very inviting. So inviting that the slight HFCS sting doesn't keep you away for long. The flavor is somewhere in between a watermelon Jolly Rancher and some sort of melted melon-y freezie pop. It's pretty syrupy so anyone who is, I'm not going to censor myself here, a dick about corn syrup should just pass this one by. If you can man up for a second and give the inner-child in you a good time for once in your life, they'll thank you.

I like cola. This is a well-known fact. I also occasionally like cherry soda. Mixed together? Not so much. This soda wants to be two different flavors at once, and doesn't succeed at either. Maybe I'm just not the target demographic for this flavor? I wish Pepsi/other companies would try different fruits mixed with cola. Orange cola sounds amazing to me. Somebody (it doesn't have to be Pepsi), make it happen!

Things I like about this ginger ale:
I like the design of the can because it reminds me of a can that should have holes in it from some kid in 1950 using it for target practice with his BB gun that he just got for his eleventh birthday.

Things I don't like about this ginger ale:
It's safe.

The taste is that of a dry ginger ale. It's classic, and I'm sure, unchanged for decades. It's not like a Seagram's or a Canada Dry. It's much less sweet. The taste isn't bad either for that reason. As I mentioned previously, it's a bit safe for my liking.

How have we gone this long without reviewing IBC Root Beer? This was the root beer I grew up on. In high school my friends and I used to get the 32 oz bottles (we called them IBC 40's despite being 8 oz less) everyday and walk around our town drinking them. It was a glorious day when the dollar store started selling them.

I love this root beer. I don't know if it's the familiar taste, the fond memories I get from drinking IBC, or if it just that good. It doesn't have much bite, but it goes down so smooth! Even though it's sweetened with high fructose corn syrup, it doesn't taste syrupy at all. If I hadn't looked it up, I would have thought this had real sugar in it. That makes me wonder how good this would be if they did a batch with cane sugar.

I wonder if anyone actually likes supermarket brand soda? I've always seen it as the soda you buy because you're on a budget and it's much cheaper than the name brand stuff. That's how I ended up with this bottle. I was at Safeway and I wanted a bottle of cola. It was either a Pepsi for $1.69 or this for 99 cents. Seeing as this one was much cheaper and I didn't care if it was not as tasty, I obviously went for the "Refreshe".

As far as taste goes, it's exactly how I expected it to taste. It's your standard generic cola with high fructose corn syrup taste. There's nothing special about it at all. I don't know what else to say about it really. This is why it's so hard to review mediocre drinks.

Every once in a while I come across a drink that sounds so disgusting that I can't wait to try it. Today I had this pleasure once again while shopping at an Asian market. When my friend Robyn pointed out a curry flavored soda, I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't wait to try it so I opened it in her car. I let her know there was a chance of me puking and she was OK with it.

Sadly I did not puke because this does not taste like curry. I can't even figure out what this tastes like because my mind so wants this to taste like curry. It's not a bad taste either. It's almost like a weak ginger ale. Now I want to find a drink that is marketed as curry flavored that actually lives up to its name.

I had previously had Sprecher's cream soda and it was pretty incredible. When I came across this bottle, I had to drink it as soon as I left the store. I was definitely not disappointed at all. The orange smell upon opening it was awesome and set me up for the best orange cream soda I've ever had. It's the perfect balance between orange and a rich cream taste. And then, the fire-brewed taste kicks in. It adds just a great taste to it, I'm honestly at a lost for words. It's not the same burn that comes from ginger, but it sits in your stomach in a similar way.

Also, I love the drawing of the cow drinking an orange with a straw. Ridiculous yet awesome!

In the movie Pretty In Pink, Duckie eventually gets the girl. You didn't think he would. Face it. What did he have to offer? Sure, he was a bit charismatic, but that's about it. He wasn't much to look at, and at best he was a dweeb. He knew music. That was another thing. That whole sing-along in the record store was absurd and if I were a girl, I would have written him off for a lifetime. Molly Ringwald, though, she's a forgiving and understanding girl.

This root beer is like Duckie in that I thought it was going to suck, but was actually pretty good. It has a pretty good, honest rooty root beer taste. No, I'm not saying "rooty root" to be cute. If it's cute, I apologize. I just did my best at describing it. I think it's pretty on par to root beer barrels, which I like.

Dearest Duckie/Jon Cryer,
I'm sorry that your show got canceled. It wasn't your fault. I didn't have a taste for it, but you brought laughter to the hearts of millions night after night (due to syndication) and you did a good job. Now twice. Congratulations on spreading happiness through multiple decades.

I saw it on the shelf and had to buy it. Remember in the Peanut's Christmas special where Linus bought that rather pathetic tree and everyone picked on him? This was on a shelf in a dusty old corner of a local drug store and I had to get it. I don't know if it was on clearance but it certainly was privileged enough to make it into their giant coolers.

This could be on behalf of the can looking like it came from 1997. A distressed font and angled text just screams "Alt". Also, when I read "100% Natural", I (stupidly) thought it might have been cane sugar, which would have been pretty rad. I can't pretend to be surprised.

Since this is a tall boy in the flavor of green tea with ginseng and honey, I just thought that it was going to be a Arizona clone, and for the most part it is, but it has it's subtleties. There is a bit more honey flavor, as well as more ginseng. In turn it's less green tea but these drinks are rarely very green tea flavored at all.

I will say this now and forever, this is a pretty parallel replacement for Arizona. I'll put my reputation on it. Someone please vouch for me so I don't sound so drastic.

This is my first go at Frostie Root Beer. It's a brand I've heard of since I was a kid. It's a classic in the world of root beers. The logo is iconic. I have friends that have Frostie paraphernalia hanging in their houses. I've always wanted to try it, but they don't have it around Buffalo, and I never saw it in my travels. Our friend Dan picked it up for me on a drive down to Florida. Now here I sit with my first bottle of Frostie. I like it. I really do. I didn't have high hopes. I was expecting a pretty run of the mill root beer. It is a pretty safe root beer, but it falls on the better side of average. It's very creamy. I mean really creamy with a lot of foam. It's not a gourmet drink, but it doesn't taste like root beer candy either. It's kind of a root beer of it's own kind. I'm kind of bummed that it's going to be quite some time before I can have this again.

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I finally got my hands on a cane sugar version of this. It was even better than the one I previously reviewed. It was in fact probably the best "normal" root beer I have ever had. It wasn't micro brewed or anything. It doesn't have anything wacky in it. It was just the best of the best when it comes to the style of A&W and Dads. If you ever see one, don't even hesitate to pick it up.

When I was in fifth grade, all of my free time was spent hanging out with my friends skateboarding. The funny thing about most kids from around here in the late 80's that skated is that only about 20% of the time we were "skating" was actually spent on your board. The majority of it was actually spent sitting on your boards in front of your local mini-mart. We spent way more time scarfing down snacks and talking about skating than we actually did participating. Our local mini-mart of choice was J&D foods. We would skate up there everyday we could and stock up on candy and our favorite Mistic drinks. We probably liked them so much because we were young, dumb and they looked like wine coolers. As everyone knows wine coolers are the pinnacle of coolness. Back then the juice was also carbonated. I can't even comprehend how many of those things I drank before they inevitably disappeared from our world.

The other day I was out riding my bike on an unseasonably warm day and I stopped at a little mart somewhere on the west side. It would have been more fitting if I were out pushing around on my board, which I'll add was my initial plan. Either way I probably looked like a complete idiot when I saw the Mistic. I may have audibly squealed, but we have no way of knowing for sure. When I finally drank it I was a bit disappointed that it wasn't carbonated anymore, but it was still pretty great. Unlike most "juice drinks" you find in mini-marts these days this actually has some juice in it. It tastes mostly like grape juice with a hint of strawberry in it. It really makes me wish it were still warm out so I could call some old friends and sit in front of a random gas station on our boards and talk about how awesome skating was, even though we could be skating at that exact moment.

One thing I've noticed about energy drinks is they rarely taste good. They definitely do what they're advertised to do: give you energy. Would it be so hard for them to make them taste like anything but battery acid? I can taste the citrus in this can, but it's swooped away by the acidic aftertaste. This may not be the worst tasting energy drink I've ever had, but far from the best.

And now, I'm realizing that it was a bad idea to drink this on an empty stomach.

You know what? As I may have previously mentioned, Jay and I go out every Tuesday and either make a pizza or get tacos. We got tacos this last Tuesday and we were talking about how we can't find any melon-flavored drinks: Watermelon, honeydew, cantaloupe, etc. I did a review for a watermelon juice from Trader Joe's but it had gone bad so it wasn't the best review. I've done melon Ramune from Japan, and I don't know if I've personally done anything honeydew flavored. We decided that we were going to start searching for flavors we liked and find companies that make these drinks, rather than just haphazardly finding companies.

So we had that whole discussion, and I overlooked the fact that I had a cantaloupe pop at home. No, it's not from these United States. It's from Japan, but who cares? Seriously. If I can get what I need and America doesn't make it, I don't really have a choice but to shop externally? I'm not the bad guy. It's not my fault that I didn't know that one day I would want a watermelon pop so I would change my career path to juicer or soda pop artist. No. I made the same mistake millions of people did and went to college for music, and then went and made another mistake and went to school to become an under-appreciated web developer. Oh, yeah. I'm right where I want to be at 28.

This drink wanted to be something, too, but it didn't do well in school and also didn't try to make friends and as a result, it turned out pretty mediocre. This drink is not the social equivalent of a murderer or a stamp collector, just something like a gift wrapper. It had a "melon" taste but was just kind of...adequate. It didn't taste like any particular fruit, just like a melon flavored Ramune, which also was just kind of "melon" flavored.

If you're dying to try a melon pop, here you go, but you might be disappointed. You can cross it off you bucket list. Jack Nicholson did. Morgan Freeman did not.

I wonder what the Mr. Brown got his doctorate in. Was it Sodaology? Can he be called a Popologist? Should I just keep making up words? All we know for sure is that he (or is the doctor a woman?) graduated from a university and got a PHD in something. He/she then went out and got famous by creating Cel-Ray Soda. Love it or hate it you have to admit that it tastes just like celery. Science at it's best! Since the famous doctor was able to pinpoint the exact flavor of celery and transfer it to a soda I had very high expectations of what this magic man could do for their other flavors. After a sip I'm beginning to think that the good doctor may have been a one trick pony. This is a pretty average root beer. It doesn't have any interesting ingredients, thus nothing really jumps out at you. I would put it in the same category as A&W or Mug . It's nothing special, but also nothing terrible. I must urge the doctor to hit the books again. You may have a PHD, but it's never time to stop learning. Especially when we all know you can do better with your root beer.

There is an entire world of low rent iced teas out there. Leave it to the Midwest to produce the blandest of the bland. Like the planes of America's Badlands, this tea feels like it's going nowhere. Unfortunately for World Classics, I don't thing Bruce Springsteen will write any songs about this tea. I guess there could be something he could write about rising above its mediocrity. I don't think it would get quite the same sing-a-longs in a live setting.

It's a bitter syrupy white tea. So bitter it feels like it's drying out your mouth. The tangerine flavor tastes nothing but artificial. For 30 cents what did I expect? Whoo Oh Oh Ohhh!

What year is this? 1995? Even if you're reading this in "the future", in my opinion, vending machine dollar slots should have improved over the years. Remember when you wanted a can of pop as a kid and you would put your wrinkly and potentially/probably wet dollar bill in the machine? You would get so mad when it would spit back out at you. Then when you grew up, you learned a couple tricks of the trade. Namely, that one trick where you flatten the bill by holding both sides and stretching it over the corner of the machine. Often, that would work.

Now, many years later, technology has soared to places we never could have imagined. I can take pictures with my phone and put them online in seconds. Cars drive with cruise control and auto adjust the speed based on the cars ahead of them. Someone invented a hoverboard that works. Why can't all bills work in the machines? My bill was creased, but fine. It wasn't taped or had bent corners or anything. Just creased. I actually didn't want this drink. I wanted a V8 Splash, which I paid for and the slot I paid for was empty so I paid for the ability to open a door.

I was wicked thirsty and this drink was actually refreshing. I didn't know that they made Brisk in juice format. I thought that it was only iced tea. This has a bit of that "Brisk sting" but it's tolerable. The strawberry is very prominent but you can tell that there is some undiscerning taste in there that you can just safely assume is melon.

Root beer like this reminds me why I love root beer. It's really smooth and rich, with hints of a lot of different flavors.

In the world of root beer, I've heard the term "head" a lot but have never experienced it much with bottles. This has "drought style head". Judging by my experience with this bottle, this must mean "lots of head". After putting this bottle down for a minute, the whole neck was filled with head. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing, just an observation.

Things that start with "Nu" followed by a noun are generally not good things. Prime example: NuMetal. It's possibly the worst form of music mankind has ever created. The late 90's were such a dark, dark time for popular music. Teen angst was at an all time high, in all the wrong ways. Ick.

NuGrape is a "Nu" product that is actually decent. It reminds me a lot of Nehi Grape Soda. It doesn't taste like a grape per say, but it doesn't taste completely chemical and harsh. Grape is a summer pop, and I would sip on this at a BBQ any day.

Country Breeze, why do you deal in mediocrity? How do you sleep at night knowing that you produce a sub-par drink for the masses?

How many companies need to ruin one of the simplest recipes before someone says something? I would love to be that person.

Have you ever drank a high quality sweet tea? It's the simplest thing in the world. It's water, black tea, and sugar.

This tastes exactly how you think it would, overly sweetened and a bit syrupy.

Cut the crap, most companies that make sweet tea that blows.