High Fructose Corn Syrup - 485 Reviews

Guys I just brewed the best tea ever. What's great about it is that's it's all-natural! What's in it? I'll tell you what's in it! It's just three simple things; tea, water and heroin. Why are you looking at me like that? The tea is certified organic and free trade friendly and the water is from the purest springs. Obviously you must not be taking offense to the heroin. It's made from locally grown poppies. What do you mean it's not "natural"? I just told you it's made from poppies. If JB's can say that HFCS is natural than I can say my heroin is as well!

Seriously, don't say all natural and then use HFCS. Own up to it! The tea isn't all that bad. Sure it's syrupy, but it tastes good. Just accept yourself for who you are. Like Angus, "you're still here."

As I peer across my vast 0.08 acre backyard, I am reminded of a few things. Number one, it has been the rainiest season on record and although today called for yet another day of showers, I am sitting on my deck with the umbrella up, sipping on a bottle of orange pop like it were a fine wine. It most certainly isn't, but circumstantially, it might as well be.

Finally my once neglected lawn looks good and I can sit around for a minute while instead of my dogs enjoying the sunshine, they sit by the door and bark like jerks. The birds seem to be enjoying the weather so I rely on them to remind me that summer is right around the bend. Not much says more to me about summer than orange pop.

This particular orange pop is nothing special. You've had it a hundred times if you've had it once. Does that make it bad? Nope. I think this is the model of what orange pop should be, though. It reminds me of a childhood spent at McDonalds with my family. It reminds me of simpler times.

I don't drink a lot of orange pop. There are just other things I would rather drink. Not today, though, man.

Without a doubt, teeth are shattering everywhere this pop is sold. Dentists live in houses larger than you can ever imagine. Children are bouncing off the walls. Parents are all poor because they spent all their money on their children's cavities. For what? 16 fluid ounces of delicious, fantastic strawberry flavored pop. It almost doesn't taste like pop, but like liquid candy. It's quite exquisite, if you think about it. It's probably important that parents don't let their kids touch this stuff, as it is so good and so sweet that they won't be able to get their sticky little hands off of it. Seriously, if you live where this is sold, don't let your kids come with you to the grocery store because once they see that red bottle, it's over. You're going to have a toothless, fourteen year old kid living with you. Bad news. It's good, though. If you aren't a turd about fake sugar and just want to cut loose for a bit, get some. Editor Dan brought this back from a trip to Detroit and I just finally got around to reviewing it. It was worth the wait. Tell your friends but don't dare tell your children.

A man walks into a bar in Canada and says, "Barkeep, I know you hate being called that because it's a terrible term that no bartender actually likes to be called because it's the male equivalent of a beer wench, but all the same. Hey, barkeep!" "Ugh...Yes?" says the bartender, apathetically. "Why don't you give me one of those Sioux City Cherries and Mint pops?" says the man. "How about this, friend? Number one, no. Number two, how about 'please'? Number three, we don't carry them." responds the nicest sarcastic bartender you wish you knew. "Wait, what? I want it. I always get what I want. Don't you know who I am?" says the increasingly arrogant patron. "You can't get everything you want and I can't believe that no one has told that to you in the last, at least, 40 years ago. Also, we don't carry it. I don't know what to tell you. Do you want a beer or something?" responds the bartender who is clearly becoming more irritated. "Well here's the thing. I had that one before and I liked it. It wasn't here. It was when I was in vacation in the States. It was lighter than a cherry pop and has a little hint of mint. I was impressed because I didn't think that I would like it but my lovely wife here said I have to try new things. I think you should probably have one back there somewhere. You are a bartender after all, right." said the obnoxiously assumptive patron who is about to get thrown out if he doesn't watch his tongue 'round these here parts. "Look sir, we don't have your pop. We have beer, liquor, and standard pop. If you're looking for some specialty pop, you're going to have to go somewhere else." said the bartender, clearly on his last nerve. "Well, if you're going to be like that, I'm going to take my business elsewhere. Thought I would try out a local, mom and pop establishment while on vacation but it seems that you don't want my business. Good day, sir. Work on that attitude, why don't'cha?!" said the man as he exited the bar. "This is an Applebee's, jerk!" exclaimed the bartender.

My roommate went to New Jersey last weekend with one of his bands. They went to a Hispanic market and he apparently spent way too much money on drinks and snacks. This has been sitting in our fridge since then (hence it's half gone in the picture), so I decided to have a glass and write a little review.

First off this has a perfumey aroma like lychee, which was completely unexpected. When I read fruit flavored I generally think of a fruit punch. Apparently the fine people of Columbia think differently. To me it tastes like bubble gum flavored pop with a little bit of lychee thrown into the mix. The thought of that is completely repulsive to be, but in practice it's actually kind of good. There's a bit of a red cream soda flavor mixed in there as well. With each sip I become more acclimated and I like it a little more. This is strange and nothing what I expected. I will say that this is a seven-year-old's dream come true. Some fat little kid out there would down this entire two-liter bottle in less than five minutes. That kids parents are doing a terrible job with raising that kid.

This is a limited edition flavor of Mountain Dew that they just recently brought back. I remember it being around a few years ago, but I never got around to trying it. When I first saw the name Pitch Black, I was hoping this was going to be a blackberry soda. Sadly its not, but black grape is equally intriguing.

The black color of the soda is actually a very dark purple. I've never heard of a black grape so I'm assuming they just decided to market it this way because it's a lot catchier than Pitch Purple. The taste is decent, but not amazing. The grape flavor is really tart which is nice, but then the usual heavy Mountain Dew taste sets in. Overall, this isn't the best limited edition flavor they've concocted, but it's not horrible.

It was very nice out today. People were out doing yard work, hanging out with parks, and walking their dogs down the road everywhere I went. What did I do today? I took a little stroll with my lady friend around Elmwood Village and then went with Editor Dan to explore an old cement factory that has been abandoned and left to rot for well over 50 years. Let me tell you, I think we had most people's plans for the day beat. There are also some caves back their, but they were either sealed off by a rock slide, or we are too big of idiots to find them.

I can also tell you something else. When exploring you work up a mean thirst. We stopped at a convenience store to pick up some refreshments. Unfortunately for us their selection was pretty beat. I grabbed this Arizona, because I needed something and it was cheap. I thought we had already reviewed it, but when I checked it somehow had slipped through the cracks.

This was an old standby for myself for years. I would go to the University Heights section of town to go to basement shows all the time. In-between bands we would walk to the nearby gas station for iced tea and this is what I purchased 90% of the time. I always referred to it as "dirt flavored." To clarify it actually tastes nothing like dirt at all, but the coloring and design of the can always made me think of some old tincture that surely would taste like dry mud. It's actually way, way sweet. It's green tea with mango, pear and lemon juice in it. It also has some herbs in it that make it a half-assed energy drink. I don't think I've ever felt any energy from one of these, but I sure do like the way they taste. It's very different than any of the other flavors of Arizona. I believe it is the only fruit flavored green tea they produce. The green tea compared to the black makes all the difference.

If this were a new company that I found I probably would have given this a three bottle review, but since I have so much history with this drink, and I started drinking it before I discovered non-HFCS teas, I will give it a four. I loved it back then when I was ignorant, and I still enjoy it a great deal now.

There are three out of print beverages that are the holy grail to me. They are Crystal Pepsi, Ecto Cooler and Orbitz. Seeing as I am a nerd I refer to them as the three pieces of the Tri-Force. I paid $14 on this bottle of Orbitz and I don't regret it a bit. Clearly Canadian stopped making this drink in 1996, so this is at least 15 years old. We expected vomit, but it actually wasn't too bad. I used to drink cases of this stuff when it was first discontinued. A store by me blew them out at a quarter a piece. You can't beat that.

Check out this video review we did of this mystical beverage. Due to some weird file conversion the video looks like we shot it in the year this drink was put on the market with a huge VHS video camera.

If I were the Green Lantern, I would have no idea what to do since I have never read a single line about him. Silver Surfer rides on ice roads over the city. That's awesome. Batman has an underground lair with a mansion above. That's awesome. Spiderman...Spiderman has sweet video games where you can climb to the top of the city swing all the way down and grab onto a light pole and save your own butt. I guess I'm giving superheroes credit that they deserve and kind of talked down to superheroes that I just don't know anything about.

I've recently been upset that I didn't get into graphic novels and comic books as a kid. I don't read real books and fall asleep to anything that's not a programming manual. Picture books are great. A couple lines of text and some great action and images are what an idiot like me needs. Clearly in this particular case, I needed the previous knowledge to know what I'm talking about. I don't care. I'll get there eventually.

If the Green Lantern had a drink that was made exclusively for him, this isn't a bad start. I know, it's a lot for me to say, but honestly, it's a pretty good flavor overall. The Brisk iced tea is tooth destroying. This doesn't really taste a whole lot like green tea and you actually have to take a couple sips before you can get over the high fructose corn syrup sting, but here's the thing, after about 3 or 4 sips, it's actually really good. A genuine mango taste and another taste I can only assume is dragonfruit. I'm not totally familiar enough with dragonfruit to pick out the flavor but I can tell you that "the other" flavor is good, not bad.

While all the other superheroes are having fun kicking butt, slinging webs, and doing whatever Green Lantern does, all the rest of us normal folk need to feel like a superhero. While most of us are too old for superhero underwear, this drink will have to suffice.

I wonder if there is anyone who prefers generic, store brand cola. I've always seen it as a cheap alternative if you are on a budget or don't care that much about the taste. This Wegmans cola is no exception. It may not be the worst cola ever, but it's so bland and boring that I keep hoping to find something different about it while drinking this. Not bad, but not good.

When I was in college, Mountain Dew Code Red came out. I do not follow the chronological history of Mountain Dew and for that reason I will say that this was the first "side project" of Mountain Dew. I was never Mountain Dew's A+, #1 fan. This kid I knew, Stevebay, whose name was Steve and sold stuff on eBay, used to love original Dew. He was one of those kids that would "Do the Dew" by the bottle every day. He also found out that a department store across the street from where he worked was giving Pepsi Blue away for free when they took it off the market so he, without a car, took a taxi to the store where he loaded the trunk of the taxi with cases of the stuff. I never felt the love for anything the way he felt about Cap'n Dew.

More relative to my point of view, my friend Chris Williams said, which I still firmly believe, that you will never find an empty bottle of Code Red. There is always some left, as in people can't polish off a whole bottle/can. Case and point, I've got a 12-ounce can in front of me and I'm done.

Flavor? It's that classic Mountain Dew flavor with cherry. Simple, but the cherry develops this cough medicine taste rather than the candy cherry it has at the start. I don't know if it's a settling thing or what, but something happens about half of the way through that makes me just not want it anymore. I don't even feel bad about not drinking the rest of it.

This is a throwback to old friends that I loved hanging out with and living with, but it's also a throwback to a classic (at this point) drink that we haven't reviewed in over 1000 drinks. This stuff has been staring at us from the shelves for a long time and I wanted to let it know that it hasn't gone forgotten, much like my friends.

In our modern world full of so many natural and small company sodas made with real sugar it's rare that I will choose a "mainstream" soda. They generally lack an interesting flavor, and the HFCS wreaks havoc on my ulcer. When I was in a gas station the other day and I saw pineapple Crush for the first time I knew I needed to give it a try. Unlike other Crush flavors this actually has some fruit juice in it instead of just artificial flavors. It actually tastes like pineapple mixed in with that fruity syrup that you would expect. It's not the world's greatest soda, but it's better than most big name sodas.

This is a new flavor of Mountain Dew that is, like most new flavors, "limited edition". What this really means is they'll stop making it if no one likes it.

As far as Mountain Dew flavors go, this is my favorite. The combo of melon and strawberry is really great and refreshing. It has that normal aftertaste but it is not overwhelming. I for one hope this flavor sticks around and they get rid of Code Red.

I'm back in Buffalo and it feels great! It's super nice out today so after leaving a friends house I stopped in a corner store to help quench my thirst. I am a big fan of lemonade/ iced tea mix drinks and have never had this one so I thought why not. Now for 79 cents I wasn't expecting the best drink ever, but Arizona tall boys are 99 cents and they're pretty delicious.

Sadly, this is not of the same caliber as Arizona. It tastes really watered down and cheap. It doesn't have a heavy taste which is nice, but it is lacking a lot of taste in general. It taste like they just the in a little bit of iced tea and lemonade in with a lot of water. I guess I got what I paid for.

I had no idea what this was going to taste like. I didn't think it was going to be like cola, but I was guessing maybe a ginger ale taste. I wasn't expecting this to taste like bubblegum. This really excited me when I smelled bubblegum because it's one of my favorite flavors of soda. This is different than other gum sodas I've had. To be specific, this tastes exactly like gumballs. Mary Liz thinks it tastes like white gumballs, which is why she doesn't like it much.

Not me though, I love this drink! It's not incredible, and some of my love for it might be due to the rash of horrible drinks I've had lately. Nevertheless, this is good and I look forward to finishing this bottle.

When it's nice, you know it. When you live in an area that's nice for a limited time, you can't not know it. Today was one of those days. It was sunny. You could wear anything. Shorts, hoodies, dresses, pants, hat, anything. Awesome. Sans wind, I would want it to be like it is today for the rest of my life. Nothing says nice weather like hot dogs. It's a fact. Oh, vegetarian? Veggie dogs. There. Everyone is taken care of. To take care of your thirst, you might want to calm it down, though. When you enjoy your first hot dog of the nice weather you want to taste it. You don't want some uber-sweet drink messing up your palate when you want to taste that delicious dog. I opted to get the pale dry ginger ale from good ol' Shasta. Why is it that every time I think of "Shasta" I think of Roseanne? I don't know. Maybe they always had it. Maybe the production company got kickbacks from product placement of bottles of Shasta. I don't know how television works.

This was perfect for hot dogs. The pale, dryness came out in a subtle way. It was a thirst quencher, not something I would drink after I ate something gross and wanted to mask the taste in my mouth. Pop shouldn't be mouthwash. You know that, I know that, and clearly Shasta knows that. Good job, team.

It has a slight cough syrup smell. This kind of excited me because I have yet to review a drink that tasted like medicine. Sadly, the time for that is not now. It's really hard to identify the flavor of this. It kind of tastes like cream soda, mixed with a little weak ginger ale. It's not necessarily bad, but it's not phenomenal or memorable. As Monet says, it's strange enough to keep on drinking it. This is so true, but the more I drink it the less I'm able to identify a true taste to this.

Dear Self,
I hate to be the one to break this to us, but we really just don't like the way ginseng tastes. Sure it's fine as a minor player in some drinks, but as soon as it steps into the limelight it all goes downhill. I know you're going to say it's not its fault. It's a root; of course it tastes like dirt. Then what about ginger? It's also a root and it's completely delicious. Ginseng is just a bad seed and I don't think we should hang out with it anymore.

Look what it did to this drink. It took a completely mediocre raspberry ginger ale and it made is associate (aka less than). It tastes like a run of the mill 2 liter of fruity ginger ale was strained through some dirt. What were they using it to pan for gold? Good luck with that.

This is a light entry-level ginger beer. Hey, are you new to the world of spicy pop? Try this on for size. It's got a burn but is masked with that earthy, wet dirt ginger flavor that is more prominent in this than any other ginger related drink I've ever had. The flavor is good, though; bold and sweet. I was surprised to see that it wasn't a cane sugar drink as I thought that all Sioux City drinks were as such. That was wrong of me and I will be the first to admit it. The burn doesn't hit you until the drink hits the back of your little throat where it just stings you a bit, like a trick ginger ale.

One thing I will say is that this label design rules pretty hard. Nothing says America like an eagle and this one is coming right at your face. It reminds me of some awful band T-Shirt but on a bottle it's acceptable.

Children gather 'round the campfire and I shall tell you a story from the before-time. As you know before the apocalypse came people lived in houses and there were things called cities. Gas may have been $4 a gallon (Oh yes we had a thing called money that we exchanged for goods and services. Thievery and bartering weren't very prevalent.), but at least there were gangs of marauders terrorizing the countryside searching for the last drops of gasoline to fill their motorcycles of doom.....of doom!

Anyways, in the great north there was a city called Toronto. That city contained a very special and magical place. At the intersection of the roads Queen and Spadina resided a man wiser than most. He ran a little hot dog cart. It wasn't like the other street meat venders though. He had a vision. A vision of a world filled with condiments. He slowly built up an empire of toppings that overflowed from his cart. Before long he had a sign boasting "Over 50 Toppings." It was because of that sign that he was dubbed "50 Toppings Guy." He even had secret toppings behind his cart for those in the know.

From the years 2000 until 2007 he reined Toronto with a tender hand, dispensing hot dogs and veggie dogs alike to everyone who graced his presence. In 2007 a change was on the rise. This marks the beginning of the great hot dog cart war. Prices were slashed to kill out the competition. The number of condiments dropped, because there wasn't enough money in the till to keep them stocked. It wasn't long before 50 Toppings Guy couldn't hold on any longer. In his muppet-esque voice he agreed to sell the stand to the enemy. Many claim this to be the sign that the end of the world was coming soon. Soon the once mighty stand at that intersection became nothing more than a clone of the other stands around the city.

Many folks kept returning to the spot to buy their hot dogs in homage to the once great owner. It was like visiting a gravesite, where you left flowers. Only instead of leaving flowers they left onions and corn relish scattered across the pavement. There was another casualty in that great war. You see 50 Toppings Guy always stocked the much sought after orange soda C-Plus. When he was overthrown the empty can remained in the display that showed what sodas were available. Unfortunately for the mourners when it was ordered they were always handed a can of Orange Crush. There is nothing wrong with Orange Crush. It's pretty much the standard for "normal" orange sodas. It has that flavor that is said to be orange, but when you think about it, it bears no resemblance to the actually fruit. It's more like the flavor of the color. The problem is that it's a let down when you are expecting a superior soda.

Children the night has grown old and the fire is burning low. Let us retire to our lean-tos and sleep lightly in fear of hearing the motorbikes on the horizon. Before we go let us sing our prayer to 50 Toppings Guy.

Hot dog land.
Hot dog land.
You better put that hot dog in my hand.
We're putting pickles on the dogs.
Even though we just put relish on.
Eat all you can in the hot dog land.