High Fructose Corn Syrup - 485 Reviews

So ginseng, we meet again. In the past you have bested me with your filthy potted soil taste. You have disguised yourself many times in energy drinks and I never noticed you, but when you're a major player it's all earthworms and rainwater. Barons has harnessed you for the use of good. The good of the apples. Apple soda is a great thing (well as long as it's not sour apple, then it just tastes like gross candy). In this soda Barons got a proper apple taste. Specifically that of a nice ripe green apple, which is the best apple in my humble opinion. Each sip is like biting into that apple. An apple that you would expect to taste dirty because of our old nemesis ginseng. Fear not this apple has been washed and dried thoroughly. Okay not dried. That makes no sense since this is a drink. Seriously though this reminds me a lot of the apple Tango drink that I got in the UK. I wonder if this will cause apple flavoring to seep from my taste buds in the morning like Tango did. So gross and disturbing, yet so awesome.

Jamie, I will make you a strawberry milk. Please, just work on your homework and I'll make it. You've got that big science test tomorrow and have to study and do that math homework before you take a bath. I said I'd make you a strawberry milk.

Oh no. Oh no no no. Crud. Oh no. There is only enough milk for half of this strawberry milk. Crud. I've got to fill this glass or that brat kid is going to have a heart attack. What have I got in the fridge that I can put in here? Water? No, he'll know and that would be gross anyhow. Sprite? No, that would be too sweet and milk isn't carbonated. Coconut milk? Yeah, that will work. It's not transparent and actually, let me try this here, actually gives it a nice taste.

Jamie, we didn't have enough milk so I poured some coconut milk in there and before you freak out and throw the glass across the room like you did the last time, try it. I tried it before I brought it over here and it's actually pretty good. There you go. It's good right? What do you think? Yes, coconut milk. It's good right? Not too sweet and just enough of the coconut that it's not overbearing. Overbearing? It means "too much". See, you're learning science, math, and now English. See how much fun and educational hanging out with your mom can be? Nothing else. I didn't put anything else in there. It's just strawberry syrup and then half a glass of milk and half a glass of coconut milk. Yes, I can make them for you more often only if you can tell me what quarks are. You can't? Keep studying buddy.

I found this in a gas station between Bloomington, Indiana and Cleveland, Ohio. There were 4 different flavors and they were $1 each so I decided to get all of them because they were cheap and I had never seen them before. It turns out this is an exclusive energy drink to Speedway gas stations. It's a pretty standard energy drink. It tastes like Mountain Dew Code Red with an energy drink aftertaste. I'm glad this was only a dollar because it's not worth much more than that.

All my life I've been told I am 'nice'. Some have even said I'm too nice, whatever that means. Once after someone said I was too nice, I tried being an asshole but then I realized I don't know how. It's a problem I have. Pretty serious huh?

My instinct to try and not be nice when I saw the name of this soda. I thought I was going to be gross and allow me to easily do this, but then it had to be a good grape soda. Although, by good I mean it was much better than I expected it to be. It's really generic in taste, but for a run-of-the-mill grape soda it's pretty good. See! It's hard for me not to be nice. Even though this would be considered boring to most people, I still have to give it a nod. Oh well, I guess I'm cursed.

Today a slew of us went up to Letchworth State Park to enjoy yet another gorgeous day. We enjoyed the sights, sounds, and smells of everything nature. In addition, there was also a craft show, which I didn't give two rips about until Jay freaked out because some dude from his past was selling homemade root beer, sarsaparilla, birch beer, and (the legal equivalent of) Cheerwine. Also, I got a blackened chicken po-boy that was pretty darn outstanding.

On our way to "the Grand Canyon of the East" and some waterfalls, I saw the following automobile:

• 1986 Bertone


• Mid-90's Miata


• Glistening black Porsche Cayman


• Bentley Continental


• Triumph Spitfire Mark IV


• A new, brown Mercedes E-class coupe, which couldn't have been owned by a nicer man.

Nice, right? Yeah. You know that's night. Can you tell where my priorities are? I just told you that I went to a state park and told you about cars that I saw? I've got my interests and you've got yours. I love cars. I would love to do something with cars later in my life because no way do I see myself doing web development until the day I die.

So I did not drink a whole lot when I was there. I had a small, twenty-pound weight strapped to the front of me in the shape of a small boy and that didn't make matters any better. After spending all day there and only sippin' on Jay's drinks that came in a refillable, tin can, I didn't have much. Seriously, every drinking fountain gave me one-third the water I so desperately desired. When I got home, it was an issue of quantity so I grabbed a tallboy, threw it in the fridge, waited an hour, and then grabbed it and went.

I made the right decision. This is a good green tea and honey iced tea. Like many other drinks like this that don't need to be named, you lose quite a bit of the green tea, but there is a really good honey taste to this drink. Cintron also performed some magic and managed to keep the calories down to a respectful amount. Drinking this whole can, which I am not far from doing, would rack up only 210 calories and although that is a lot, 23.5 ounces is also a lot. It's not like I didn't work it off at the park, so I'm fine with my decisions.

Day two of candy based sodas. Jelly Belly came through with something that turned out to be delicious. Jolly Rancher, not so much. First off as a hard candy Jolly Ranchers are gross. I know a lot of people enjoy them, but they rub my taste buds the wrong way. The soda didn't do much better. What can you really expect when the bottle happily boasts, "artificially flavored soda." I like the word artificial as far away from anything I'm consuming as possible.

When you open the bottle the scent of cough syrup hangs heavy in the room. I blame the medicinal companies for ruining cherry for me for years, then I had some drinks flavored with actual cherry juice and I realized that it's just the artificial garbage that they ruined. I personally am okay with that. It's helps increase the gap between them and myself.

This doesn't even taste like store brand cherry pop. It's like they took a syrup and didn't cut it properly. It tastes so heavy and if that consistency had a flavor it is present in this drink.

I say stay away from this unless you're attempted to make a child not like soda by associating it with medicine.

Someday Midge will see how much I love her and she'll come runnin' to old Moe. Sure I own a crap hole of a bar and I more than occasionally delve into some less than legal monetary pursuits (what was I thinking keeping a whale in the back of the bar?) but I've sure as hell put the time into winning her over. It's exhausting really. For the past 22 seasons I've been following her and Homer all around this god-forsaken planet just to be close to her. Oh Midge if you only knew the time and effort I put in each week following and watching you for all these years. Sneaking into the luggage compartments on planes, hiding in the flora of the restaurants they eat in, and a whole lot of creeping around watching through windows.

In the early days in order to keep up steam I had to rely on some classic meth that I would get from Cletus, but after what it did to my skin, and with my teeth falling out and whatnot I knew I needed to stop. Lucky for me Duff released an energy drink. I can tell you it's sure a hell of a lot better than that swill ale those low life drunks at my bar gulp down all day. It tastes like a classic energy drink with a nice citrus twist. Sure they use high fructose corn syrup, and I swore I was going to cut that down so I could get in shape for my love, but really what can you expect from such a low rent company as Duff. At least it keeps me up for my late night sessions of watching Midge sleep. That is when Homer's fat whale of a body isn't blocking my vision. Speaking of which it's about time for me to be climbing that old tree. Someday she will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.

When the colonials invaded the United States, the Indians, although polite, were leery on "the white man". White men came in, sat down next to each and every Indian, and co-ate a delicious meal with multicolored corn. All was good. They did a little bit of trading. Oh, you've got beaver pelts? We've got these sweet hats. You've got teepees? We've got homes made of brick and mortar. "Let's eat", the Indians say to the Colonials. "Oh, wait. We've got something for you in the boat. Hold on a second." The colonial dudes go into the boat and pull out a case and put it on the table. "What's this?" said the Indian Chief. "Oh, this ol' thing? It's just a case of our favorite pop, Old Colony. If you look, you'll notice that Carl's face is the silhouette on the can. Here, we brought a can for everyone. We're swimming in the stuff so you can have this whole case."

The Indians take a sip and the chief looks and the Colonial man disappointingly. "You call this grape?" He drops the half full can of pop on the grass, allowing it to spill onto the ground. The Admiral Colonial dude was flabbergasted. "Why would you do that? That's not a great first impression, I've got to say." The Indian, very heatedly said, "This is a mediocre grape pop. You think because we're Indians we've never had grape pop? What do you take us for? This is very sweet and although I can tell that it's inspired from concord grapes, it tastes like candy and we don't really do candy here."

Then the Admiral declared war because he's a baby and doesn't like when people insult his favorite pop.

Franklin Mercer realized how much he had put his family through for the past couple of months. Whatever made him think that he was cut out to be an Olympic athlete is beyond me. Now that his dreams were behind him he decided to take Sharon and the kids on a camping expedition in Wisconsin.

They got a nice little lakeside cabin and everything was calm and relaxing. It was the most perfect vacation any of them had ever been apart of. When hiking the first night they discovered a cherry orchard and a cranberry swamp. What cranberries were doing growing in Wisconsin Franklin had no idea, but it was a nice discovery. On the third day Sharon decided to take the kids out to pick some fruit. They were filling their baskets and bindles full of juicy fruit (not the gum) when the trouble began. Dozens of cardinals came out of nowhere and started attacking the children, pecking at their tiny hands and faces. The family dropped everything and ran the mile back to their cabin, where they filled in Franklin on what had happened.

Franklin was infuriated and stormed out the door, grabbing his butterfly net off the porch. He made his way out to the orchard and hid until he saw a bird. He caught they cardinal in his net and was getting prepared to bash its skull in (Have I mentioned that Franklin has anger management problems?) when he realized that it wasn't an actual bird but rather it was animatronic. Suddenly he fell out of his hiding space in the tree. When he looked up there were two men standing above him. They helped him up, brushed him of and took him to the other side of the swamp where they had a small brewery. They were the Sprecher brothers, and they explained to him that they had grown the fruit in such a strange location in order to produce their new soda "Ravin' Red." They gave him a bottle to try, apologizing for their robot bird attack on his family. They had built them to keep away other animals, never expecting humans to stumble upon their orchard. Franklin accepted their apologies and cracked open the soda. His first thought when he took a sip was how full bodied it was. It had mostly a very sweet cranberry flavor, but some cherry was poking it's nose through. The brothers said the full bodiedness was due to the fact that it was fire brewed. That made sense so Franklin continued to drink. The more he drank the more he noticed a problem. The flavor didn't really fade away into an after taste after he swallowed. The more he drank the more intense the flavor got. BY the time he was 3/4 of the way done with the bottle it almost tasted like he was drinking a concentrate without the consistency. He finished off the bottle, told the brothers thank you for the soda, but you may want to work on it a little more and then walked home. Of course he did steal their butterfly net off of the porch as he had landed on his breaking it earlier in the story.

"Energy and persistence alter all things" - Benjamin Franklin

This is the quote on the back of the can. It really sets the tone for this drink because Benjamin Franklin is probably one of the last people I think of when talking about energy drinks. The only person that probably beats him is Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Have you ever seen a picture of him? Not exactly what I think of when I think "energy drink".

Upon first sip of this over breakfast this morning, I audibly said "what the hell is that!?" My housemate laughed but refused to try it because he hates energy drinks. I'm half way through the can and I still can't put my finger on what is making this taste so gross. It's like they took the generic Red Bull clone energy drink taste and thought "this tastes too good, let's make it more gross so we'll end up discontinuing the flavor and people can buy it for 60 cents a can at Big Lots". If someone has this internal memo from Relentless, I'd love to see it to confirm my suspicions.

The new Chevy Volt is as innovative as they come. The car does not run on gasoline, nor does it need electricity. Instead, Volt Soda powers it. I think this came about because they had warehouses of the stuff because no one was buying it. They needed to do something with it, so they teamed up with Chevy and built and engine that can run on it. Coming soon to a dealership near you.

In all seriousness I feel like this is an energy drink marketed towards children and that is a horrible idea. I feel like it's unhealthy for me as an adult to drink energy drinks, so for a kid...geez. I feel like all the time I see kids younger and younger downing them, and it really concerns me. So much extra stress on their little hearts.

This is basically carbonated fruit punch with all that energy garbage thrown in. It tastes like it should be a special flavor of Mountain Dew. I'm really just not into this. It tastes like a crappy soda that gives me the jitters. I say no thanks.

Call me old fashion, but I feel that once you start adding sweeteners and the like to your drink it should no longer be referred to as water. I mean aren't 99% of the drinks on the world water based? By that thinking then pop should be called water. This is water, sweetener and concentrated peach. As I see it this would be a juice. It definitely tastes like a watered down peach juice to me, well one that is overly sweetened. I also have no idea what "2%" has to do with this drink at all. It just makes me think of milk. On the bright side I really like the packaging. It is pleasant to look at.

James wanted to be a rapper. He was only eight, but he knew it. He loved all the gold and the hundred spoke rims, and the beats. Oh the beats. He got the idea that he wanted to drink Orangade because he thought that it sounded like Tanqueray. He heard Tanqueray mentioned in the Self song "Call Me Back" off the album "Porno, Mint, & Grime" that his brother listened to all the time.

James was at the gas station with him mom and there it was; a tallboy of Orangeade. He asked his mom if he could have some and she said that he could. He was so excited. He put his dollar in nickles, dimes, pennies, and lint on the counter and left. He sat with it in his lap the whole way home. When he got back to his house, he took the can and ran upstairs. He slammed the door behind him, which his father absolutely hated and honestly, who likes it when people slam doors? He went under his mattress and next to the issues of The Source and miscellaneous, burned Dr. Dre CDs, he found what he was looking for; an actual 7" of "Radio" by LL Cool J. He put it on his tan, plastic Fisher Price record player, slid the plastic volume lever all the way to the right, cracked open his can of orangade and let the beats kick.

"I don't mean to offend other citizens, but I kick my volume way past ten" the record player scratched out of its terrible speakers. James sat, in his personal heaven, with his new drink, wishing. He was wishing that the drink he so anxiously purchased didn't taste like someone watered down orange juice and then carbonated the remains. He liked orange juice. He's eight. He likes pop. He's eight. He didn't like being stuck in a drink purgatory.

He drank half the can, stopped the record, and opened the door. He went downstairs to have meatloaf with his family. When his mom asked him how his drink was, he could only shrug. This was James' first taste of disappointment.

I recently went on a road trip with Thirsty Dudes ally Andy Czuba. Just inside Vermont we stopped at a gas station where I found this. I didn't know Mug made anything besides root beer. I wasn't THAT surprised since many root beer companies also make cream soda, but it was still nice to find something new.

Unlike the road trip (which consisted of traveling 1,000+ miles through 4 states in less than 48 hours, seeing 9 bands at 2 different shows, with only 7 hours of sleep), this cream soda wasn't anything special. It had a really strong vanilla smell, but the taste was pretty generic. If they made a version with real sugar, I bet it would be a pretty good cream soda.

I'm sick. I don't like it, I don't deserve it, and I don't want it. My strategy for dealing with sickness is usually as follows: drink as much orange juice as humanly possible. It does me well. I go to the store on my way to work once I find out that I might be getting sick and I buy one of the small cartons of OJ and just house it all day. Next day I'm usually right as rain.

Yesterday I was minding my own business and it hit me like a truck. Spacey head, super sensitive hair, it hurt when I breathed in, overall muscle ache. Those were the symptoms. Today, I am left with everything at about 50% so at this rate, I should be back to normal in a day or two but man, it's taking a lot out of me. I ran out of OJ and saw this little guy in my stock and decided that I would allow him to help me. It's a very familiar taste, as you and I have grown up with it, because it tastes like Sunny D.

Now here's the thing, I don't like about Sunny D. It burns. Something in there mixed with something else in there that makes me feel like I have a sore throat and who wants that? This is a smoother Sunny D but still with the same generic citrus taste. Although it says there is orange, tangerine, and lemon, you can't really distinguish between them too much.

I thought it was pretty good and would defiantly recommend this over classic Sunny Delight, regardless of how classic it is.

I didn't realize until today that there is no direct route from my new apartment to downtown via bike. I should have figured that out before I had 20 minutes to reach my destination. I rode fast and I rode hard, and I was only one minute late. Not too shabby, but exhausting. I'm glad I brought a drink with me, specifically a drink this large.

It has a decent tea taste with a lot of sugar (hey it's sweet tea it's supposed to have copious amounts of sugar, if you have a problem with us then drink something unsweetened). I was actually shocked when I saw it was sweetened with HFCS. It doesn't taste like it, nor does it have the consistency. It's not the best sweet tea I've ever had, but for a drink that comes in a tall boy it's pretty darn good.

Awhile back I was visiting St Louis on tour, hanging out with my friend Erika. We went to a couple of record shops and then to a little deli. I had a root beer that I was drinking, so I didn't get a beverage, but she insisted on buying me this bottle of Vess, stating that it was her favorite cream soda ever. It is now more than two months later and I finally decided to have a go with it. I can't tell you how many times I planned on drinking this. I would go to the fridge dead set on cracking it open only to pick it up look at it for a few seconds and then put it back on the shelf. I have a big problem with pop that comes in plastic bottles. It's been beaten into my brain that by default they are of a lower quality. It's also sweetened with HFCS, which can give me stomach issues.

I finally made myself drink it the other day on a short road trip to Fredonia, NY. I was shocked at how much I enjoyed it. I expected pure carbonated sugar water with a vague cream soda flavoring, but this is bold and smooth. It's very creamy tasting, the way a good cream soda should be. It also is pink, so it has that ever so slight berry flavoring to it. This has the quality of a soda that should come in a glass bottle. If it had I would have drank it long ago, and given Vess the props they deserve.

Erika has never steered me wrong before in the world of movies and comics. I can now add sodas to that list as well.

Crap. Here I am the manager of this drive-in restaurant and my entire staff just walked out on me. I guess 12-hour shifts with no breaks just don't work for some people. I don't care about the law and "workers rights." All I care about is that when we are busy (which we always are thanks to the praise our root beer has gotten) that our customers get taken care of in a polite speedy manner. So here and I am it's nearly the dinner rush, what am I to do? Thanks for the offer little Billy, but you're only 7, and while I'd be happy to put you to work, I don't think you could even carry a tray of food without dropping it. Billy it's just you, the dog and me. That's it, the dog! All he does is sit around all day and watch episodes of The Jetsons. I'm sure he's learned enough from watching Astro to deliver some trays of food. I'm a genius! This will work perfectly as long as the health inspector doesn't stop by.
*10 Minutes Later*
Well that was a catastrophe of epic proportions. Why on Earth did I think the dog could deliver the food? Every time I gave him a tray he would walk away with it, dump in on the ground and eat all the food. That ungrateful mutt. I had to close down the restaurant early. The owner is going to kill me. Oh well I guess I'll drown my sorrows with one of these highly spoken root beers. Hmm it's not bad, but I don't see all of the hubbub. It tastes like a decent classic root beer. I guess it is exactly what I would expect to drink at a drive-in restaurant. I think I'm just spoiled with all my fancy brews at home. Oh well it's free and it's decent so bottles up you non-Astro mongrel.

When I was a kid, gum was awesome and it only got better. Sure, you had Trident and stuff, but that was adult gum. There was Bubblicious, which is way too much gum for one person to chew but hey, if they give it to you like that, you've got to eat it like that. I remember Dr. Pepper and maybe 7-Up making gum that was the size of Bubblicious and had a pop flavored goo inside. That was great. There was that gum, I think it was Cinnaburst, which you could eat with the wrapper. That was fun if it was a gimmick. Oh man, Big League Chew, specifically grape, was phenomenal. Then there was Fruit Stripe gum...Fruit Stripe gum sucks now and it has always sucked and will always suck. Five minutes of mediocre flavor at best and then it tastes like you were just chewing on unflavored gum. Not to mention that the longer you chewed it, the more it just fell apart in your mouth like it was never gum to begin with. Awful, just plain awful.

This drink tastes like if you bought one of those big packs of gum, took out all the strawberry and banana flavored gum, and ate them at the same time. It's not good. It tastes like the worst gum on the market. Is it still on the market? Who cares? It blows, and not the way good gum should.

My ladyfriend's parents went on vacation awhile back and they brought me a couple or rad looking drinks. They were in glass bottles with burlap, rope and ribbons glued to them. They looked incredible and my mind raced with what type of sodas may be encased. I imagined they were some local pop that the residents of that tropical isle made with fresh fruit and love....lots of love. When I cut off the burlap I was a bit disappointed to see that it was only a Goya grape soda. I have nothing against Goya, but I can find then at a variety of grocery stores around Buffalo. As a result this has sat on my "To Drink" shelf for a few months. Today I decided its day had come.

It tastes exactly like you would expect it too. It has the classic grape soda flavor that is somewhere between melted candy and melted freezie pops. If you were expecting something that tasted more like natural grapes, you would be disappointed. Since it tastes exactly like I expected I am fine with it and I'm going to enjoy the ride.