No Sugar Added - 718 Reviews

There is a lot of green going on in a juice cleanse. From the money you pay for it to all the veggies you drink. I thought I was okay with that. From time to time drinking a juice with things such as chard, kale, spinach, celery, cucumber, apple and lemon in them (like this juice) isn't bad at all. You drinking something healthy and you tend to feel good about it, that is when you have a belly full of other food, or know that you will be eating in the near future. I've had juices similar to this a handful of times in my life and I don't remember ever wishing I were eating a “real” meal instead. You know what I would happily be eating a salad composed of everything in this bottle over drinking it, because it tastes exactly like I'm drinking a salad, whose only dressing is a little sprits of lemon. It is a very accurate juice. I can make out each and every one of the ingredients in the flavor. It's just not something that I want to drink when I haven't eaten in two days. I wonder if some added ginger would fix this right up. Ginger is healthy, it's in the other juices, and I love it. The burn would help this salad go down all the easier.

Seriously, I can't even walk by the kitchen without my stomach rumbling. I only have one day left, but it's going to be a long day. All for health, right?

Edit:
I added some ground up ginger root to this, and it did what I expected. I am enjoying this much more.

I'm now a day and a half into this juice cleanse and I shockingly feel fine energy-wise. By this point I really expected to just be curled up on the couch, miserable and not wanting to do anything. Instead I went for a couple hour walk to enjoy the brief stint of nice weather we're having. I have been experiencing some on and off again headaches, but apparently that is normal. It is getting to the time of day when I eat dinner, and I can feel that in my stomach. Luckily it's time for my protein smoothie of the day. Unlucky for me that smoothie contains banana, flax seed, kale, dates, spirulina, hempseed, chia seed, coconut oil, lemon, Himalayan sea salt and wheatgrass powder.

Now I eat a lot of kale in my day-to-day life and I love wheatgrass, but everything else in here are ingredients that I don't really have a taste for. I expected this to be all banana, but it's pretty bland and the majority of the flavor seems to come from the various seeds involved and the lemon. The banana is there more in scent than taste. It's also super, super thick, almost to the level that I feel like I should eat it with a spoon. It's thicker than applesauce, which I tend to drink for the record.

I got no pleasure from the taste of this smoothie, but I finished the whole bottle for the sake of my health and this cleanse. I would never in a million years drink this outside of a cleanse, but it's not really something that you would come across in day-to-day life. Besides that healthy doesn't always means it tastes good and sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. Also note that our rating on Thirsty Dudes is based on flavor and not functionality. It's gets two for flavor, but it would get a five for health.

To this drinks benefit it definitely curbed my hunger a bit and for that I am grateful.

We've entered day two of my juice cleanse via Love Grace. I was doing great all day yesterday until about 10PM when I got a decent sized headache, and I started to feel pretty weak. I assume it's due to toxins working out of my body, and you know hunger. I woke up this morning and felt a lot better. I'm hungry but it's manageable.

I started off my morning with a bottle of Purify, and now it's time for my second juice of the day: Ginger Bomb. This is just great. It's orange, ginger, lemon, oregano extract and Himalayan sea salt, which when mixed together make for an intense little juice. It's a citrus-ginger explosion in your mouth, which then continues to erupt down your throat and into your stomach. It's pretty strong lemon-wise and the orange makes it a little less intense, but it's still pretty sour and slightly salty. The ginger is there more as a burn than as a flavor. I wish the taste was more prevalent, but the burn is so great that I can't really complain.

It seems like this is the most functional juice of the entire cleanse. It's anti-inflammatory, helps with digestive health, it's anti-bacterial, anti-viral, it improves circulation, supports metabolism, boosts the immune system, is adaptogenic and balancing. On top of all that I think it tastes great. It has made me feel more normal than any of the other juices I've had so far. 4oz of magical explosions.

Bananas very well may be the bane of my existence. I don't understand how anyone gets even a smidge of enjoyment out of them. The flavor is gross, and the texture might be worse. When I opened my box of juices and saw this I knew I was in for an unpleasant experience. With banana, flaxseed, almond, lemon, dates, vegan probiotic, Himalayan sea salt and coconut oil all mixed up there was zero chance that I was going to enjoy this. As a result I decided I should get it out of the way on the first day, so that when I've reached my full “hangry” potential, at least the drink that is helping to fill me up won't be disgusting to me.

Was it gross? You betcha. I thought bananas were gross on their own, but mixed with lemon it's even worse. That being said, my ladyfriend who is a fan of the yellow devil forced me to give her a sip and absolutely loved it. I will not hold my banana prejudice against this smoothie. I'm going to assume that most people would think this was probably the best out of the bunch, so keep that in mind and ignore my complaints because they are all founded in my hatred of a fruit that goes from green to yellow to brown to black.

Besides the banana and the lemon mixing weirdly, this is somewhat salty, which I find weird in a juice, but I think with the proper fruits I could really enjoy. The rest of the ingredients kind of mix together to try and balance out the banana flavor a bit.

This is indeed a smoothie as it is pretty thick, which was unfortunate because it made it hard to chug the bottle just to get it over with. One good thing I will say about this juice is that I was getting to a point where I was beginning to get annoyed due to hunger. You know when you're hanging out with friends and you're all starving, but you can't agree where to eat, so hours pass and you just want to punch them in their collective throats for being indecisive, but then realize that you're also being indecisive so you then want to punch yourself. I was getting to the beginning stages of that point, and this get me through it without snapping at anyone.

Continuing on in my juice cleanse I have come to the most initially appealing of the juices for my tastes. This Super Cider is simply apple, carrot, ginger and lemon. I'm a sucker for cider and ginger, so throw the two together and it's inevitably going to be a party in my mouth.

I did not expect the ginger to be so strong in this juice, and it was the best surprise I've gotten all day. I would say that this tastes more like ginger than anything else. It certainly has mainly an apple base, but it's the taste and burn of the ginger that make this drink so great. It has the kind of burn that you feel in your stomach. That's a good burn. The taste of the carrots is only apparent if you concentrate on finding it. The lemon just rounds things out. It's more visible in some sips than others, but it's never really at the forefront of the flavor. The ginger really doesn't quit with this. I could see it being a bit much for some people, but for those of us who love a little heat in our drinks this is just perfect.

Like all of the Love Grace juices this is raw, you know how juice should be. It's too bad that raw juice doesn't have a very long shelf life because it always taste so much better, and is better for you.

Juice cleanses are all the rage these days. I personally think that it's great. I am a lover of juice, and the fact that people are making an effort to be healthier is a move in the right direction. The fact that some companies are expanding their cleanses into other grocery stores besides Whole Foods so that it reaches a wider audience of “Everyday Joes” is an even better step. There are so many chemicals are garbage added to food these days that most people aren't even aware of that it's a good things to take some steps to cleanse your body of them from time to time. Juice cleanses are also used to gain mental clarity, improve overall well being, and the biggest allure for people is that it helps in losing weight. From an outsiders perspective it is a healthy way to starve yourself and get your body to work unnatural things out of your system.

I've wanted to do a cleanse myself for sometime, but the downfall of it is that there is a hefty price tag on this healthy live (Love Grace's is $168 for a three day run). Keep in mind you do get 18 bottles of juice for that price, and you have no need to purchase any other food in that time as well, so in the end it's not all that terribly expensive, but it does look like a large sum to drop at one time. Thanks to my involvement with Thirsty Dudes Love Grace sent us a three-day cleanse for review. I am starting it today, and I expect to be fully miserable for a while. I most definitely become easily annoyed when I am hungry, so I would probably steer clear of me until Thursday. No one likes to be “hangry.”

The first juice in the cleanse is this bottle of “Purify.” It is a collaboration of coconut water, celery, chard, spinach and cucumber. This is a first step in what is going to seem like a very long road. I am generally a bit weary about juices that have celery in them. On it's own it's a wonderful vegetable that I really enjoy. The problem is that when it is juiced and mixed with other juices it tends to take over the flavor of any drink. Love Grace worked out a nice solution to that problem; the use of coconut water. It dulls the flavor of the celery a nice amount. It's still very prevalent, but it's not a full on assault to your taste buds. When you hold this drink in your mouth it tastes just like coconut water with some greens juiced into it. It tastes mostly like spinach and cucumber, actually I couldn't taste the celery at all until I swallowed and then it's just in the aftertaste. There is a natural sweetness to this, so it doesn't taste like you're just drinking a salad. I mean you are, but it's no where near as gross as that sounds.

Well done, Love Grace. You've made the first step of this cleanse very enjoyable. It gives me hope that I'm not going to want to murder everyone around me before I reach completion. Sure I'll still be hungry, but at least I'll have some good flavors to help me along.

With a name like “Protein Zone” I expected nothing but grit and grossness, as there's a level of that to be expected in any drink with that specific functionality. The picture of the banana and coconut on the label also had me weary. Coconut water is just fine, but anything that tastes even remotely like toasted coconut belongs in the filth bin, with all of the bananas on this planet. Thankfully the orange and pineapple that are also pictured carry most, if not all, of the added flavor. Sure, there is a texture to this that makes me feel like I took this to the beach and left the cap off as people walked by and kicked a bit of sand into it, but hey I'm strangely okay with that. It has a nice tropical flavor that makes up for the weird texture.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. "Kids. Right?" They just don't get it. Perhaps it's me becoming a curmudgeon…€Ž of an old man but sometimes an unsweetened green tea is all I need to make me a happy man. What pleases me about it? The bitterness and the crispness of it. Jasmine is wonderful because it's a bit botanical. This is a dark green tea, which is code for a sencha which is pretty bitter in its own right and equally fantastic. I've had hot cups of the stuff and it's a strong and equally lovely cup. This is no different. The bitterness is set right in a great place where it's enjoyable to drink at any speed and also strong enough that purists can get what they want from it.

Kids do not enjoy unsweetened tea. Kids drink garbage. Maybe it's just American kids. I think I can speak on behalf of all people that used to be dumb American kids and say that I wish I drank more unsweetened tea as a child. I wasted my time with my mom's diet Pepsi for years. That being said, she pretty exclusively drinks unsweetened tea now so maybe we are all learning what East has known for hundreds of years.

Dear Japan,

Sorry we're so far behind.

Sincerely,
America

Number one: I don't know the definition of the word "savory." It seems that with food television, everyone is a regular Bobby Flay. Sure, some people are an Alex Guarnaschelli and some are a Yan but everyone is someone now and everyone has to use phrases they shouldn't know unless they serve time in a French kitchen. Calm down. They're just chicken fingers from a bag. Where is your stamp of approval from Guy Fieri that says you have a license to say the word "brunoise" or "papillote." I realize the humor in that statement, so don't give me guff for it.

This tea advertises a "savory-sweet herbal infusion." That seems like a bit much. This is not a heavy tea. I have had heavy tea. This is not it. This is a medium flavored tea with a lot of great ingredients, most that you really have to focus to find, much like a "Where's Waldo" book. To you overseas readers, I am aware that his name is "Wally." I know more than you give me credit for.

Mint? It's in there. Cocoa? Lightly in there. Don't think chocolate and don't think dark. Think about opening cocoa powder and smelling it once the dust settles from you vigorously opening the top. As for the other ingredients, you cats ain't pullin' your weight because I didn't taste any vanilla, licorice, or bitterness from the yerba mate.

It's a fine tea, don't get me wrong, but you just did the tea equivalent of fluffing up your resume. That's going to make your employer mad and make more work for you. People that talk about knowing Microsoft Word on their resume have zero job experience and people who know fifteen programming languages are recent college grads who have spent a day with each and aren't proficient in anything. You're welcome, Monster.com. I've cracked the code.

When I was a kid I used to go to my grandma's house where my uncle has tons of antiques, collectibles and vending equipment. Inside one of them he had Atomic Fireballs. I would take a handful of quarters or nickels and buy three or so of them and put them in a tall glass of water and just let them marinate and make spicy cinnamon water. Taking one sip of this took me back like twenty some-odd years to those days.

Unlike the concocted drink of my youth, this tea is unsweetened but whatever cinnamon and other spices they used cut right through the garbage and somehow create a naturally sweet and spicy drink. The cinnamon has a serious and delicious burn and there is quite a lot of orange taste in it thanks to the one-two punch of both orange peel and orange oil. There are a lot of other great flavors in there but you cannot distinguish them as much as the cinnamon and orange. A complete bonus to this is that one bag easily makes two cups of tea. I drank one pretty quickly and made another one to take on a walk with my dog. I knew the first one was strong enough that I could at least try to make a second and I was right.

I do enjoy that the same flavors today bring me as much happiness as they did when I was eight. Look, I never said I wasn't immature. No one is going to argue against that. I think that if eight year old me knew that I was drinking something as spicy as this, we would high-five and the world would implode on itself because you're not supposed to interact with the past, especially yourself. Everyone knows that.

Some kids like to eat fruit. Take Danny. Little Danny only eats fruit and it's becoming a problem. He, like most kids, hates vegetables but unlike other kids, he also hates candy. He just never got it. He loved fruit, though. He would come home from school and if there was a fruit he could reach, he would eat it. This made his mother both very concerned and very angry. She was concerned because what mother wouldn't be if her son was not eating vegetables. She was angry because fruit doesn't come cheap and as Danny got taller, she would come home to less and less fruit because he could reach higher shelves and eat everything.

One day, Danny's mom put her foot down and limited him to a certain amount of fruit per day and in exchange, she bought him Litl' Squirts fruit juice. She told him that there was no funny business in it and that it was just fruits and water. He agreed to these new terms and took a bottle with him to his room.

He took a sip and loved it. It was naturally sweetened with fruit and it was actually a good tasting drink. He could taste the blueberries as well as the apple. It was like there was a mixologist somewhere that felt the way he did about fruit and made a drink specifically for him.

His mother noticed that there was more and more fruit around the house and talked to Danny about it. Danny said that although he cut down on eating fruit, he increased his liquid fruit intake. Confused, his mom opened up the cupboard and noticed that there was only two bottles left of the case that she had bought. She was raising a monster, an inconsiderate fruit monster.

The scene is the Middle Ages. The life expectancy is somewhere around 40 years, as long as you can make it through early childhood without catching some sort of plague. Think of it, people had mid life crises' when they were 20. Strange times indeed. There also were no sewer systems, so everything smelled like human waste and life was just generally terrible for peasants. To combat all of the disease and pestilence floating around people took to herbal remedies and more often than would probably be admitted, the black arts. The thing is that what they considered the work of the devil, we consider science and an everyday occurrence.

Just picture it some schlep is looking for a way to help him stay awake, and give him an energy boost while he's toiling away at some task all day that ensures his family well being (or at least continued existence). He buys a magic potion that does just that. He thinks he's consorting with evil spirits, so this gives him a moral conundrum, but the potion works marvelously. Yeah, that guy was just drinking coffee. He more than likely could have been burned at the stake for practicing witchcraft or some such thing, simply for enjoying a few sips of liquid caffeine. Sad, strange times they were.

I don't know if this is where Black Medicine got their name, but I'd like to think it was. They certainly have one of the best labels I've ever seen. It's dark, but easily readable with nice silver lettering and some rad embossment.

I thought this was going to be cold brewed coffee, as the majority (if not all) of the fancy, pre-bottled coffees we've reviewed have been. It is in fact brewed hot (in small batches). Now neither Mike nor I are coffee experts by any means. We don't hate the stuff, but it's rare that we drink it. To me it tasted like like a strong cup of iced coffee (actually the only way I really ever drink the stuff). I had a couple of friends taste it and one said it tasted like he left his coffee in his car and drank it at a later time. My coffee snob girlfriend says it tastes old, but she says that about every bottled coffee. I will say that it tastes less bitter than any other black coffee I have drunk, so that is a plus. I actually don't mind it at all. I had expected to take a few sips and then pass it off to someone else to finish, but I've found myself hoarding the rest after they each took a sip. It looks like Black Medicine is doing something right.

Flirt with the darkness as you get your morning fix my friends.

Alright, King. I mean no disrespect but you've gotten away with literal murder and I haven't said anything. This, though, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. You have been known to provide us, your faithful townspeople with some of the most unique teas at very reasonable prices. Some of them are good and for that, we thank you. This one, I have given it multiple attempts at approval though and it just doesn't deserve to be continually made. Now look, it's not just me that thinks this way but I'm not going to throw anyone under the bus over it. It's just not a good tea. It always tastes good in the beginning but then quickly and unfortunately tastes burnt or something. You can tell that there are some good flavors in there. Spicy? I think that might be pushing it. It is only labeled as "spice black tea" so that's alright. The cinnamon wins when it comes to the spice wars going on in this cup but as a whole the battle is lost because as a whole, it's not a good tea.

King, we are very faithful to you and if I didn't spend all day working in the tea fields, I would let this slide, but I don't want any more of my time wasted on such a non-fantastical tea. You deserve better if you're going to put your name on it. That's my honest opinion and I hope that you value it as such? You don't? Well I guess it's a classic beheading for me. Classic King Condrell. Always decapitating people that voice their opinions. Seems a bit antiquated since it's 1994 but whatever. We chose to live here and we chose to live this way. Sorry guys. I tried. Tell me wife I love her.

Aright folks, we're getting killed out there. This match is halfway over and we're down by a good amount, like a really decent amount. Like I'm almost ashamed to be leading you rag tag bunch of so and sos. Haven't you ever seen a movie? The miscreant underdogs are always supposed to win the big game so everyone can cheer and learn a valuable life lesson. The only reason I agreed to come on as couch was so I would have that moment. We'd come back for the win and everything would be moving in slow motion. Little Edwin with the limp, thick glasses and terrible fashion sense would be the one who scored the point and everyone would lift him up. Seriously though Edwin, did you steal those clothes from a 200 year old corpse? This was supposed to be a cathartic moment for all of us, and it looks like it's just not going to happen unless you change your ways.

I'm not going to lie kids, during most of that last period I wasn't even here. You were doing so terrible that I went to Starbucks to get some coffee. While I was there I saw that they have changed their brand of juice they carry. This one jumped out at me. Literally someone bumped into the display and it came flying right out at my face. Lucky for me I have such good reflexes. As this bottle of juice was flying at my face all I could see was “DEFENSE UP,” and I knew what I had to do. I dropped way more money than any of you are worth and I bought you each a bottle. Drink it up and we'll use the magical powers within to win this game. I'll be fair and tell you that our offense has been doing fairly decent, but our defense is lousing it up every chance they get. This mixture of oranges, pineapples, mangos, apples and acerola cherries will make sure that does not continue. I had one in the car on the way back to the game and I have to say it tastes like someone took some of the best orange juice this world has ever seen and upped it a notch. The orange is the main flavor by far, but the other fruits mix together to create a taste that complements it perfectly. It's so darn smooth I can't even handle it. It's juice the way it's supposed to be cold pressed with no sugar added. There's even some pulp in there, which makes it even better. It truly is the evolution of juice and it will evolve your playing as well. So, let's go out there and kick some butt, so we can all have our cinematic moment!


…€¦.
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Okay you guys, that was terrible. You did even worse than you did in the first half. Of course the magic powers didn't work Edwin, there are no magic powers, this is just some amazing juice, nothing more. I just thought that my little pep talk would give you the confidence you needed to win and at the end I would tell you it was in you all along and the juice had no special powers. I need to stop trying to live in movie land.

Does anyone else have dreams of diving/swimming into an Olympic size swimming pool full of cranberries and water? I've never been to a cranberry farm, or whatever you call it, but it seems like it would be fun, and that the texture of the berries would just make the experience overall enjoyable. I just looked it up and a lot of the US's cranberries are relatively close to me, so I should really make it a mission to harvest some at some point in my life. Now back to my Scrooge McDuck fantasy (minus the doubloons). How awesome would that be? Cranberries are hard when they grow, so just think about fun water fights would be.

Speaking of that hardness, when I looked up how to juice cranberries everything said to boil them first. If that is the case, how to you have raw cranberry juice? My ladyfriend assures me that the insides of the berry are soft and juicy, and that is just has a harder outer shell. It's completely possible to squeeze the juice out. Me, I'm not so sure. I demand scientific proof, or you know would appreciate someone who is an authority explain it to me.

This may be the only time in the history of beverages that I would prefer that pineapple juice was not involved. Along with the cranberries and ginger that are this drink's namesake, there is also apple, black carrot, black currant and the previously mentioned pineapple juice in the mix. I have nothing against said juices, but the idea of pure cranberry juice with ginger ground into it without the addition of any sweetener leaves me with a fevered mind filled with the most wonderful tart burn anyone could ever imagine. Instead, the additional fruit sweeten it up a bit and there is a lack of a significant ginger burn. It's completely delicious, with the flavors names on the front of the bottle and the main players with the fruitiness in the background, but it just doesn't match what's floating around in my mind.

To summarize I want to be sipping on a beverage with a tart burn while floating around a swimming pool with a 2-3” layer of hard cranberries floating on the top. Is that my idea of heaven? It just might be.

There's a movie in here somewhere. A woman is diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, an autoimmune disease for which there is no cure. Her family and friends try to console her and help her deal with her unfortunate predicament, but our heroine will hear none of it. She is determined to beat this disease and live a long and full life. She begins altering her diet and making the appropriate changes in her lifestyle that are rumored to help combat hyperthyroidism. Her changes are just not working and she's on the fast track to getting radioactive iodine to kill her thyroid, which would lead to a regimen of artificial thyroid hormones for the rest of her life. Things are looking bleak and it looks like the bright future that was once promised to a young girl will not come to pass.

They say it's darkest before the dawn (they being people who like to quote other people) and that is when our Lola (Did I not mention her name before?) decided to take her life in her own hands and find a new way. She knew deep down that natural medicine would be the only real chance she had in life. She delved into ancient texts of Traditional Chinese medicine looking for answers. Can't you just see the montage now of her laboring late at night translating the ancients language? There are moments of frustration and despair, but eventually she hits on an idea and takes bits from here and pieces from there to create a unique concoction that just might work!

With her formulation complete, Lola underwent a six week treatment and by the end she was completely off here meds and her blood work was back to normal. The movie would end just as the first run of Lola's mass produced herbal treatment beverage was being bottled at the plant and all is right in the world.

I know we make up a lot of garbage here at Thirsty Dudes, because..well it's what lives in our brains. I can assure you though that this story is real and the beverage before me is the final outcome. It is a herbal drink that boasts to reverse the effects of aging, boost the immune system and calms the nervous system. I can't say for certain if it works or not, and I don't have it readily available to drink it on the regular, but if Lola's story is any indication that drink is a thing of wonder.

One thing I can comment on as a professional is the taste of this drink, and I think it's great. The ingredients that make up this compound are water, jujube dates, goji berries, dragon eye fruit, lemon juice, organic dried ginger, lotus seeds and ginseng. For those type of ingredients I am surprised that it tastes like a vaguely fruity ginger water. It's got a nice little kick from the ginger, but not to an extent that you have any sort of problem finishing a serving. When health benefits come with a nice flavor like this you know that there is good in the world and everything isn't just pointless.

Do you think Joe was originally known as Trapper Joe? For some reason, I always imagine him being from Canada, even though I know his origins are German (at least in some capacity). I just picture him out there in the wild wilderness of Canada, setting traps and collecting his bountiful pelts. He lived like a king, and then slowly, but then very suddenly the pelts dried up. Joe found himself without work, and started to lean on his other skills more, and got more into the commerce side of the game. It wasn't long until he started working with an entirely new set of people, who referred to him as Trader Joe instead of Trapper Joe. Eventually he made his way down to the States and well, the rest is history.

That whole scenario has nothing to do with this drink, but oh wait it does. For some reason they decided to name this juice “Heart of Darkness.” At first glance this seems to make no sense what-so-ever as neither mangos nor passion fruit are native to the Congo where Joseph Conrad set his short story. Since the actual juice has nothing to do with an ivory transporter in central Africa, I can only assume that the name is in some reference to Joe's history as a trapper come trader. Maybe the owners of the company are just fans of late 19th century literature. Either way it's a strange name for a juice.

No matter what the name, this is one tasty juice. While it's not solely mango and passion fruit juice, it is still 100% juice with apple, white grape and pineapple filling out the missing space. It does taste more like a tropical fruit punch then it's namesake, and even though that is a bit of a disappointment at first the taste is more than good enough to make you forget your woes.

I can pretty much guarantee that if I gave a purple carrot to Mike's son Max he would say something along the lines of, “That's not a cawwot, cawwots are owange silly!” Apparently in my mind Max switches out Ws for Rs. I think he actually does that, at least that's how I hear it in my head. I think what we have here is a full proof way to get kids who don't like carrots to eat them. What child wouldn't be excited about eating purple food? Kids hate carrots, right? I know in my family we did. At least I grew to enjoy them, while my sister just goes around telling people she's allergic to them, and every other food she thinks might be gross. That's right I just outed her. Also she might slip in the old …€˜I can't eat that or it will give me kidney stones” act. She's a magician with many tricks. It's too bad they are all to get her out of eating food.

Everything I have written above has absolutely nothing to do with this drink, so if you made it this far you deserve a treat. May I suggest a bottle of this juice? I know carrot juice doesn't sound very appealing. I kind of like it, but I was hesitant the first time I tried it. This beverage on the other hand tastes mostly like a heavily strawberried apple juice with a vague root vegetable flavor floating around the perimeters of your taste buds. If this didn't say “purple carrot” in the name I would have never guessed that they were a part of the ingredients list.

Strawberries run this town, with the aid of his deputy apple juice and even the uniqueness of a purple carrot isn't going to be able to change the way that they run things.

Oh kids. You've got so many more selections than when I was a kid. I want you to read that like I was the oldest man alive because that's how I meant it to be read. The written word just doesn't have the same flair as, say, an audio recording. Oh, you know, kids. Records. Remember records? Remember crank windows? You dumb kids and your dumb buttons. Try endlessly turning a knob for a little bit, why don't'cha? Lazy brats. Oh, right. Reviews. Right.

I don't spend a lot of time around raspberries but I've been around an apple a couple times and I've got to say, this is a very accurate portrayal of that dynamic duo. You've got some super sweetness from the apple and some nice berryness (not a real word) from the raspberries. Not too bad, Litl' Squirts. All without adding any extra sugar in there, too. You, sirs and madams, have made a good juice.

Speaking of little squirts, you! Hey, you! Do something constructive with your life. Yeah, I'm sure leveling up in World Of Warcraft took a long time but it's not making you a better person. Go get dirty. Get hurt. Get a job. Stop talking on the phone. Drink some healthy juices. Get strong. Be nice to old people. Get me something to drink. Hold the door for people. Be polite. Golden rule. You kids are the worst, nowadays. The worst.

Let's cover something here: peaches in their natural state are amazing. They are one of the best fruits to ever grace this planet, from whatever galaxy they originated. Oh you didn't know that peaches are sentient beings from another world that we enslave and then consume? Now don't you feel like a savage? It's okay, if humans tasted as good as peaches, we would probably eat them too, so long moral decency.

So yes, peaches are nearly perfect. Artificial peach flavor? Not so much. I suppose it's fine in a pinch, but really there is no need for it when we have the entire species at our disposal. It always tastes too sweet and like candy. A big problem is that a lot of companies use this fake peach flavoring in their drinks and trick people into thinking that what they are drinking is how the wonderful fruit actually taste. It's nothing but lies.

Beverages, especially the sparkling ones that use real peach juice are few and far between. Val de France not only uses actual juice in their sparkling drinks, but they also do not add extraneous sugar. They do mix up their peach juice with some apple juice, but you can't blame them for that. They have to keep the price point down somehow.

This ends up tasting like a fancy soda pop, which is what it is. It's soda for the high class, or for those of us who want to pretend that we're classy for a short period of time. You can most definitely taste both the peach and apple juices in here. They exist in a harmony that is not to be disturbed with other ingredients.

My only complaint is that I poured myself a decent sized glass of this, and while it is delicious and only has 19g of sugar per each 8oz, it became too much once I got to the last quarter of the glass. So keep that in mind; this juice is made to be enjoyed in small quantities. If you do that you will certainly be pleased with your choice in beverage.