Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

Dear Slim Fast,
What is your name in reference to? Does it mean that by drinking your meal replacements one will lose weight quickly? Or perhaps you means that you will drink this and then refrain from eating other foods aka fasting? Perhaps it's a combination of the two. Whatever your origin story, I think it's a good choice for a moniker for a beverage that is supposed to help one lose weight.

Is it a good flavor name though? Creamy Milk Chocolate? I initially thought no, because I prefer dark chocolate so much more to milk chocolate. I then remembered that I'm a snob and a majority of the world loves milk chocolate, and referring to it as creamy is enticing. Bitter Dark Chocolate just doesn't have the same allure. I mean, I would be all over a drink named that, but I'm a maniac apparently.

The name is very appropriate for the flavor. This is very creamy and very chocolaty. This is what I wish chocolate milk were like. It's a little thicker than milk, due to the protein, but the flavor is also stronger. I would happily drink this instead of eating. Problem is I drank this about an hour ago and I am already hungry again. I think I need to starve myself so that my stomach shrinks down. I eat way too much food.

Of the things I don't understand in life one of the big ones in the realm of family matters is why my father has a Kokopelli tattoo. I have no idea why in his late forties he decided to get a tattoo of a fertility deity. I know it also representative of agriculture, but my father is not a farmer, and I have never known him to tend even a houseplant. He also represents the spirit of music, but my father isn't a big music guy either. The tattoo is just one of the mysteries of the universe. I mean I could ask him why he got it, but that would take the fun out of it, and then he might talk to me about my tattoos, and who wants to explain to their parents why they have a llama and an ostrich dressed as Batman and Robin tattooed on them. I'll keep the mystery in all of our lives.

I'm also left wondering why Coco Libre uses a Kokopelli on their bottles as well. He is a symbol embraced by the Native American tribes of the southwest. They are located in Palo Alto (northern California) and neither coconuts nor chia; the two main ingredients in the company's products are native to that area of the country. The deity's presence is as puzzling on this bottle as he is on my father's skin.

Their choice of mascot aside, this is a nice little beverage. As far as I know Coco Libre is the only company out there combining coconut water and chia seeds, to which I give them a tip of my hat. I am a fan of chia seeds in drinks, as I enjoy a beverage with some texture to it. I have also been fully converted and love coconut water. The added flavor is very strong in this. 26% of this is concentrated fruit juice, and that is a high percentage seeing as the seeds take up most of the bottle. They also put out unusual flavors for coconut water. This leaves me wishing I had cherry coconut water available to me. I like cherries, and I love cherry drinks, well as long as they don't taste like cough syrup, which this doesn't at all.

Whoever decided that coconut water should come packaged in cans like this has done well for the branding of the fruit. Coke has it's unique bottle shape and coconut water has tall cans with ridges. I can't think of anything else that comes in this sort of can. When I see a can of this nature I instantly think of coconut water and that is great from an advertising point of view.

In the past when I heard the word Zola I expected it to be followed by Jesus (she's a musician if you didn't know). Now I will also think of coconut water and nicely shaped cans. This is a fine coconut water. It's nothing new, but it's not trying to be. It's simply natural coconut water with some pulp in it. Nothing stands out about it, but do you really want something wacky from coconut water? I'm guessing now, you want refreshment.

The pulp in here are little hard chunks of raw coconut. They are a little bigger than what I would refer to as pulp, but I enjoyed them a great deal. It's nice to chew on them, and they add a little texture to the beverage.

Zola: doing coconuts right and making them proud.

If there is one trend that I have come across through my years behind the desk at Thirsty Dudes it's that the denizens of countries south of the United States love both overly sweet and also spicy sodas. Apparently it's all kola champagne, manzana and ginger beer down there. The first of those I can't stomach; it feels like me teeth are rotting with every sip. The second I like alright. The last I absolutely love. Bad good great, in that order.

From the color of this I really expected it to be the dreaded uber-sweet kola champagne. Millions of people on this planet absolutely love that soda, and I simply do not get it. Overly sugared liquid bubblegum is simply not for me. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that this did not taste like the spit of someone who is chewing an entire pack of Big League Chew. Instead, it has a nice fruity berry flavor. The internet tells me that it's supposed to be strawberry, but it doesn't taste like a strawberry pop I've ever had before. You know it doesn't taste like those little candies whose wrappers resemble the fruit. It really just has a general berry taste that leans a bit towards strawberries.

A great thing about this is that it came in a reusable bottle. You know like pop used to come in, before everything became so disposable, even though it's supposed to be recycled. For those not in the know, you used to return bottles to the store and instead of them being melted down for reuse they were simply cleaned and refilled. This is how the pop of my childhood was served, and I'm not going to lie, I miss it.

I admit I am enjoying this far more than I expected to. I had anticipated taking a sip or two and then pawning it off on a stranger on the street, but so far I've made it halfway through, and I think I may keep going. You know, like a champ.

We've all heard of block clubs. Neighbors get together to discuss ways to prevent crime, improve their neighborhood and throw the annual block party. I must warn you that if you live in a neighborhood that has a block club, and you choose not to participate, you will become an outcast and will be referred to as “the squatters.” Okay to be fair we really were squatting. Our landlord who lived upstairs just disappeared and stopped cashing our checks, so we stopped leaving them. We lived rent-free for about two years before his less than dramatic return. The house needed a paint job, and a new roof, but we took better care of it than if it was left to rot. The grass was cut. We picked up the garbage and were respectful of the neighbors. I wish they had treated us with the same respect. Oh well.

So yeah…€¦block clubs. Did you know that just outside Detroit there's a little town with such a low population that instead of a block club, they have a town club? They serve the same basic purpose as it's smaller counterpart, except on a larger scale. It's a paradise in the middle of a burnt out city. It's actually quite nice an pleasant if you're into the Mayberry scene. In addition to neighborhood watches, cleanups and parties they also run a small soda company called, well…€¦Towne Club. It's the extra “E” that keeps them classy. They produce a line of completely middle of the road sodas, but that's just fine. Someone has to do it, and they do it with love, so there's that.

They decided it was time to add a cherry soda to their line, and why not give it a little taste of home and call it Michigan cherry? I mean their production runs weren't huge, and it was rare that anyone outside of the “mitten state” would get their hands on one of these, but incase they did they wanted them to know where it came from. The 3% juice that it was comprised of did come from their back yards. Why not flaunt it? That little bit of juice really goes a long way in the soda game. This stands out in the cherry soda game. It has a slightly unique flavor that does not taste like couch syrup. Bravo for that Towne Club. Now work on fixing all the potholes in your state.

Brisk has expanded their list of beverages with their new Half & Half line. We've talked a lot of trash about this company throughout the years, yet they took the high road and sent us some samples of the new flavors. I didn't know they had it in them, but that was a classy move.

When I first saw this, my initial thought was, “Of course it's Brisk, so there is a ridiculous amount of it.” 24oz of their products seemed like more than any human should really ingest. This though, this was something different. For starters in order to cut down the amount of sugar in the drink they mixed high fructose corn syrup and sucralose. The result was only 13g of sugar per serving (39 per tall boy). It sounds like an absolute disaster, but somehow they have made it work. It's not very syrupy and yet it doesn't taste diet at all. Actually it doesn't have that harsh Brisk flavor at all. I was pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed this.

This tastes like 3 parts mango and passionfruit green tea and one part lemonade. Actually the ratios might be even more skewed as I hardly taste the lemonade. It tastes like a version of bubble tea (minus the tapioca) that would be available in a gas station. It's not mind blowing, but it has its merits and is much better than I anticipated. I would happily drink this again, I just wish it came in a smaller container, as I have no self control when it comes to beverages and I drink until it's gone. Good thing I don't partake in alcohol, or my life would be a mess.

Marco was a child who could stand to lose a few pounds. His life was spent watching television and playing video games. In fact the only times he left the house were when his mom forced him to go to school and on Fridays aka allowance day, when he would take his weekly pay for nothing and head to the corner store to stock up on candy. It was the happiest day of the week for Marco. Not only was he free from school for two days but also his sugar intake would soar.

There was no doubt about it; Marco was a Wonka man. Nearly all of his money went to buy that company's confectionaries. This past allowance day, Marco waddled down to the corner store and was decided what candies to buy this week when a display caught his eye. Spree sparkling water? Could it be that Mr Wonka had expanded his line and made a liquid version of one of Marco's favorite treats? He quickly grabbed a pile of Nerds, Laffy Taffy and Runts before he grabbed a bottle of Lemon Strawberry Spree. He was so excited that he dropped his change all over the counter. After the monetary exchange was complete he ran out side, sat on the curb and twisted open the cap. This…€¦was…€¦not…€¦what…€¦he…€¦expected…€¦at…€¦all. The contents of the bottle did not taste like liquefied candy at all. It was nice and bubbly, but it had a weird taste, that was almost diet but not like the diet pop his mom chugged all the time.

He was a bit disappointed, but since he had limited income he didn't want to waste his purchase, so he kept sipping on it during his walk home. Somewhere around the 3rd or 4th sip he realized that he didn't mind the diet taste, which he learned was called stevia. Actually he was kind of getting into the drink. Sure it wasn't candy-like, but it was sweet in it's own way, and not as thick as the sodas he was used to drinking. The dietness of it ran most of the flavor, but underneath that was a bit of a strawberry lemonade flavoring.

By the time he got home the bottle was empty, and Marco didn't feel cheated by his purchase. This was something he enjoyed that he could get his mom to buy because he could convince her it was healthy. Now if he could just convince her that his MMO games were good for him as well, and that school was evil, all would be right in the world.

When talking about wine people always mention how it's good for you, and it's recommended that you drink a glass a day. They forget to mention that wine smells like rotting corpses and from what I remember doesn't horrible on top of it. It has been discovered that the thing that gives wine it's anti-cancer and anti-aging properties is something called Resveratrol. Luckily for all of us with a sense of smell, taste and an alcohol free lifestyle the very same compound can be derived from grape seed extract.

Youthy Forever has taken Resveratrol and some actual grape seed extract and mixed it in with a whole mess of other fruits to create a juice that is as tasty as it is good for you. When you mix pineapple, pear, passion fruit and prickly pear you know you are in for a good time, especially since the ingredients added for health don't have a weird chemical or gross taste to them. This just tastes like juice, as it should. There is no added sugar either. Sure, there is 32g of sugar in each bottle, but it's natural sugar from the fruit they use and not refined or artificial garbage.

Ponce de Leon spent his life search Florida and whereabouts for the fountain of youth (what else is a conquistador to do?). He obviously wasted his time and energy in that hot sweaty soon-to-be state when all he needed to do was wait 300-400 years for this company to see the light of day. They have cracked the code, and it is delicious. No more bones made of dust for anyone willing to shell out the couple of bucks for a bottle!

Vemma is back with yet another mangosteen based beverage. This time it's a shot for those who are always on the go, and have limited time for nutrition. First off, reevaluate your life people. I know some of the people who don't have time are sincerely working constantly to put food on the table for their families, and I commend them for their efforts. Let's be honest here though, this drink is not for those people. Those people aren't going to throw down their hard earned money for a supplement shot. It seems to me that this drink is marketed towards business folks who are constantly working and deals and such, not those doing nitty gritty manual labor. It's these people who have the option to eat healthy, but instead decide to continue working. If that's what you love in life, who am I to argue, but I personally like to enjoy the life I live and not spend so much time on work that I don't have time to eat a healthy meal. Now, I'm not faulting Vemma for this; these people would exist whether their product was around or not, so why not help them live healthier with their choices?

This is a 2oz shot that is jam packed with vitamins and minerals to help you get through your day in a healthy manner. It's no secret that shots generally taste completely wretched. This though, this has got something going for it. It tastes like mangosteen juice that has had a multivitamin dissolved into it. It's downright pleasant. It's what I would imagine a teenage version of a Flintstone's vitamin would taste like. You know for people who aren't; ready to take on straight up vitamins, but the regular Flintstone ones just seem too juvenile. This is so good in fact that I have been slowly sipping it, instead of slamming it like you normally would a shot. It's nice to have a beverage that is this healthy and tastes this good.

I would like to make a proposal to the International Drink Commission. I know that every year you esteemed folks choose a flavor that will be the trend for the next twelve months, possibly longer if people really eat it up. In the past it was cranberry, pomegranate and more recently acai. I can tell from this list that those among you have a preference for all thins anti-oxidant. I propose that in the coming year you move away from that theme and in the direction of something more unique. Ladies and gentlemen I put before you that elderflower should be the new flavor that is all the rage. Think about it, it's fairly unknown and no one can deny that it is absolutely amazing. There are very few companies that use it in the beverages, and an even fewer amount that produce them in the United States. I see it as the clear choice for the new generation.

As an example of what we could expect I preset you with this bottle of Found infused sparkling water. It was slightly sweet and wonderfully floral. I know that may seem like a turnoff, but I'm not talking some rose flavored garbage here; this is elderflower and it has a very specific taste that it slightly floral while staying it's own thing. It's almost like it's a fruit more than it is a flower.

It also has versatility. As you can see/taste here there has been very little sweetener added to this drink (they used beet sugar) and it is enough in addition to he elderflower to remove the seltzer taste from the sparkling water. It also tastes wonderful when it is in a highly sweetened taste. I myself prefer it like it is in Found, but you know people like variety, and elderflower can provide that.

Found has created a near perfect drink, that perfectly reflects what elderflower can do for the beverage world. Like your coveted anti-oxidants it has health benefits relating to detoxing as well as many others. When you look at this scientifically, like I know you all will, you will see that you really have no other choice. I swear this is not because I really just want to have this flavor more regularly available for personal use. I want it for the people!

Sometimes my friends, the bargain just isn't worth it. You're in the store looking for something to quench your thirst and you come across a tallboy whose label announced it as “Only $1.” The natural reaction is, “Wow, that's quite a deal. I'd be paying less than five cents per fluid ounce.” The problem with that is, that even if what is contained in the can is the tastiest beverage on Earth, do you really need 23oz of it in one sitting? I understand that the Nutrition Facts state that the can actually holds three servings, but who doesn't drink it all in one go, or throw out the remainder? If this was a resealable bottle, it would be a different story, but these drinks are marketed for people to grab whilst on the go and no one wants to carry around an open can until they are ready for their next serving.

The sad truth is that this is not only too much beverage, but also it is far from being the tastiest beverage on the planet. It's a fruit punch that only contains 5% juice. That means that 95% of what you'd be drinking is composed of weird stuff like ester of wood rosin, brominated vegetable oil and of course corn syrup. I know a lot of that is actually water, but still, come on. Fruit punch is not very good to begin with. I was once told that it was the beverage of children and poor people. While I do think there was a bit of racism meant in that statement, I have to admit that I have never seen anyone who was over the age of 15 and well off drinking anything of this variety (unless it was mixed juices at a fancy juice bar, which I wouldn't consider fruit punch).

This does have couple of things going for it, and they all boil down to the sweeteners used. Veryfine decided to mix sucralose in with their corn syrup to lower the calorie count in the beverage. It leaves it with a slight diet flavor, but nothing unbearable. The big up to that is that it's a fruit punch that doesn't feel like you're drinking syrup.

Overall it still has that generic fruit punch flavor that is like the hotdogs of juices (ie. whatever is leftover). I appreciate the company taking steps to improve fruit punch, but there is still a long ways to go. Also, unless you're planning on sharing this with a friend, I really hope you plan on pouring a bunch of it out, or have a fridge close by to save it for later.

The first thing I need to say about this is that it simply is not enough. I'm not saying that it doesn't live up to my expectations, what I'm saying is that the single bottle I have is just not enough. I have reached a point in my life where about half of a bottle of pop is enough for me. I guess that's when you can tell that you've finally grown up. The thing is that while I drank this bottle I wanted to share it with everyone around me because I was astounded at exactly how good it was. I believe I could have drunk the entire 12oz alone and I still would have felt like it wasn't enough. This could be a dangerous product.

Noble Cane Cola tastes like an olde timey soda. It's the kind of thing that would be served in restaurants in the old west part of amusement parks if they were trying to be authentic. I am obviously not over a hundred years old, so I can't say for certain if it actually tastes the way cola did when it was first invented, but in my head it does. The flavor of this falls somewhere between a your “classic” cola taste and Moxie. There's something in it that gives it a unique taste that is on the verge of tasting medicinal without tasting like gross medicine. Does that make sense? It's also slightly fruity. Now you're completely confused. When I drink this I feel like I should talk slower and take more time to enjoy my day. It's one of, if not the single best cola I have ever tasted.

Now that I have you on the hook and you need a bottle all for yourself, let me let you in on a little secret. That special taste in here is actually due to the mixing in of Louisiana figs. I bet you didn't see that coming. I also bet that if you knew they were in here before someone spoke of the virtues of the cola, you probably would have said “Ick” and passed it right by. You would have been wrong to do that because there is magic in them there swamps, and it has been captured in this bottle of cola. Now I just need to travel to somewhere I can purchase this and pick myself up about a dozen cases, so I can become the glutton I always knew I could be.

Martha, I have zero idea as to why you keep buying me these diet drinks. I'm not fat, I'm just your average middle-aged man size and there is nothing wrong with that. I am comfortable in my body, as I hope you are in yours. I mean you don't see me going around ordering you salad when we go out do you? That would just be rude. If you want to eat that cookie-sunday explosion, you go for it. It's your life and you should enjoy it, just as I am going to enjoy my life in a way that is free from the poison diet taste.

Oh what's that? You didn't buy me this because you think I need to lose weight? You like my little paunch? Well isn't that adorable. Why though, why do you keep buying these Lifewaters and put them in my lunch. They taste delicious? I doubt that. You see it says right there “0 calories” on the label. In my world that means this might be better for you but it's going to taste horrendous.

Fine I'll take a sip if it will make you happy. Well Martha, I owe you an apology. This is pretty darn good. It's very light tasting. I can tell that it's diet, but it's not the normal flavor I associate with things of that nature. It's kind of hidden in the back, right there with the acai. That is actually odd because acai is such a powerful flavor most of the time. Don't look at me like that, yes I know what acai is and what it tastes like. Just because I work construction doesn't mean I'm a complete dufus. I like to get a fancy juice every now and then. That's not important though. This has a nice raspberry flavor with some acai hints around the edges. Like I said the taste of the stevia is somewhere below that.

I don't know how Sobe did it, but I will definitely be sipping on these at work now. Not only does it taste good but it's guaranteed that none of the other guys will steal it from me. Those jerks. Seriously though honey, are we getting some cookie-Sunday explosions or what. I've been thinking about it the entire time we've been talking about these drinks. Yes I know we'll have to drive a half hour to the restaurant, but I want what I want and what I want is hot fudge drizzled over a giant soft cookie with seven different types of ice cream below it.

While I was growing up my grandmother ate a lot of yogurt. In fact her and her friends were the only people I ever knew to eat yogurt. I would try it occasionally and it was simply not for me. Then something happened and yogurt became in vogue. It more than likely had to do with health benefits and people finally caring about what they put into their bodies, but suddenly the yogurt section in the store grew greatly. I mean I know that in other cultures yogurt is around all the time and everyone eats in, but for a kid who grew up on the edge of the suburbs and the Irish part of the city, it just wasn't around in the eighties.

Since yogurt has gained a greater presence I have come around to it. I actually eat one every other day or so, I am a bit picky with what flavors I'll eat though. Plain yogurt has a bit of a sour taste to it, that can be masked nicely by some flavors and that is what I lean towards. A mixed berry, fruit on the bottom is my yogurt of choice.

This bottle is pretty much a more liquefied plain yogurt that has been sweetened with stevia. The all-natural sweetener doesn't quite do the same job of covering up the natural sourness as actual sugar does. Instead you get the sourness as well as that specific stevia taste. I mean it's way better than if they had used sucralose or something like that, but it there is still a very distinct additional flavor. This is like a diet lassi drink. On top of all of that, the vanilla flavoring isn't very strong.

This drink is high in protein, contains probiotics and it is fat/gluten free. It's got some pluses going for it, but unfortunately the flavor isn't quite where I want it to be. To summarize, this tastes like a whipped up yogurt that has been very lightly flavored with vanilla and it was sweetened with stevia, whose flavors lingers for a bit to long. If you have an aversion to yogurt stay far away from this, as I assume it amplifies everything you dislike about it. It you're a card carrying member of Team Yogurt dig right in my friend.

This is one of those drinks that you have to check and then check again to make sure that they are in fact not alcoholic. The look of the bottle just screams, “This will get you drunk without tasting like alcohol!” If it were something along the lines of a Mike's Hard something or other I would not be surprised. After checking it for a third time I am finally convinced that this is “safe,” so I'm ready to dive in.

My first thought is that this is not nearly as sweet as I anticipated. Actually my first thought was thank god I didn't miss something and this isn't alcoholic, but the sweetness thing crept into my mind directly after. I had expected it to be ridiculously sweet like other apple sodas I've tried that leave your salivary glands seeping sweet apple flavor for hours.

I then thought, well this actually kind of tastes like apples and not artificial garbage. 20% apple juice will do that to a soda. This is a little bit of okay in a bottle that I had severe doubts about. I would happily drink this again and in a blind taste test of apple sodas it might not be the ultimate winner, but it would be in the upper echelon.

I still believe that you could give a bunch of these to high school kids and tell them they were alcoholic and watch as they got progressively drunker as they drank them. Actually, I kind of what to do exactly that right now. Kids can be so dumb when they want to seem cool. I cant wait to mess with Mike's kid when he's a teenager.

The base behind all of the Vemma drinks is mangosteen. It's their shtick and they use it in their energy drinks as well as their protein beverages. I like mangosteen, and everyone needs a gimmick. I didn't expect it to be in this meal replacement powder, but there it is. Oh well.

Do Americans eat more than they should? I'm going to say that in 98% of cases, absolutely. I certainly do. I try not to, and most of the time I fail. I love food, even though most of the time I just eat it for sustenance, I just enjoy the process of eating for some weird reason. I find it relaxing. I also really enjoy foods that generally don't have protein (fruits and breads) so I don't feel full as quick. Now that I'm getting older and I realize that I need to take better care of myself, I'm trying to cut down the whole eating too much thing. These shakes are designed just for that. They are protein heavy meal supplements that are meant to help curb your intake of too much food.

The first thing I found weird about this drink is that you are supposed to mix the powder with water. I had a carton of unsweetened almond milk out and ready to go, and when I checked to see how much to use I saw that it said water, which resulted in me going “huh.” In my opinion the water makes this a bit strange. It causes the drink to become slimier than creamy and smooth, which is what I expect from these types of drinks. It seemed that in every sip the water was fighting to separate itself from the powder. Even though I mixed the hell out of it, it did not want to work as a cohesive unit.

Flavor wise it tasted like a watery chocolate drink. The chocolate flavor was pretty decent and it didn't have that gritty protein drink texture, nor the protein taste. It also did a good job mostly covering up the taste of the stevia. I can see where they get the ice cream name. It tastes a bit like a melted ice cream come made for diabetics.

I wasn't completely blown away by this, but I didn't hate it either. I'm not really who this is marketed towards, because I'm not battling my weight, but I think it could be very beneficial to those who are.

I'm just going to come out and say it folks; Mmm…€¦Tea Co just ahs too many varieties. Now I love when companies have a bunch of different options, and this company makes some great iced teas, but there just isn't enough difference in their teas to necessitate all of there separate flavors. We're already reviewed their green tea, honey & hibiscus and their green tea & hibiscus. I'm also pretty sure there is a black tea & hibiscus one out there. Do we really need a black tea, honey & hibiscus one too?

I understand that some people prefer black tea over green and vice versa. I also know that there is a sweetened versus unsweetened version, hence the honey. The thing is that this is not a big company. They are based out of Illinois, and that state is the only place I've come across these. On top of that the shelf life of these teas is less than six months. That's a long time, but not that long, especially in comparison to other companies teas. My point is how can they afford to make so many different flavors with minor differences and keep a back stock? I appreciate that I can have my choice for how I'm feeling at the moment, but I have concern for the companies lasting abilities with this game plan. I certainly want to see them expand their empire and not fold, because I love these teas.

Now that I have expressed my concerns, let's more on. Shall we? This is an awesome drink. The honey flavor is very strong, while having less than 15 grams of sugar per bottle. It does overshadow the hibiscus flavor a bit, but I'm okay with that. I mean this is the same drink as the green tea one I did a few months back, you know except with black tea. I know Mike would complain that the hibiscus isn't what he wanted it to be, but he needs to realize is that the hibiscus teas he likes have added spices to them. This is just black tea, honey and hibiscus flower. There is even a hibiscus flower floating around in the bottle. Of course I ate it. I am a professional. I could have used more hibiscus flavoring in this, but for a ready to drink tea, this more than exceeds my expectations.

I don't know what they were working on at the National Institute of Mental Health, but things seem to have gone awry. The scientists there were using rats as test subjects, but something happened and the rodents gained incredible intelligence. Before long they were performing their own experiments while the humans were away. Led by their leader, the newly proclaimed “professor” Jonathan Frisby, the rats developed a powder that would make them stronger and even more intelligent. It works by improving mental clarity while being full of anti-oxidants. There was no sugar in it, and most importantly for the little fuzzballs, it supported joint health.

The rats had nearly perfected their formula then disaster struck. The humans came in to make up hours on the weekend. The rats scurried back into their cages, but they did not have time to collect their formula and the scientists discovered it. They assumed it was something another team was working on and for some reason ingested some, because you know that is what you do in a laboratory where you test things on rats. They discovered that when mixed in water the powder had a berry flavor that kind of also tasted like grape. One of the scientists boldly stated that he could taste the stevia in it, and it was goon to see that nothing artificial was used in its creation. They agreed that it was pretty strong, even when watered down a lot. Also, one of them pointed out that it didn't really dissolve well in the water. No matter how much they stirred it some of the powder congealed into a sludge like substance at the bottom of the glass. When they tasted it, it was like an intense diet Pixie Stix. Since there was no label on it to denote what team created it they decided to steal it for their own and sell it as a energy drink mix that had additional health benefits.

Man, were those rats pissed. Some would say they were mad…€¦ehhh? While they wallowed in their defeat two of the smaller rats conferred in a corner. When one asked what they were going to do now, the other responded with “The same thing we do every night, Pinky …€“ try to take over the world.” Several animated classics were based on these real life events. Sadly all of the rats diet due to other experiments and their famines received no royalties.

Made, well Made makes things simple. Unlike a lot of companies they know that people don't need/want a lot of extraneous garbage in their beverages. When someone orders flavored lemonade they want water, lemon juice, sugar and whatever fruit juice is flavoring it. Anything else is just unnecessary. Little kids on the side of the road don't even give you that much. To be fair this is way better than any roadside lemonade I've ever tasted, so that little bit extra is well played.

The way the levels are in these ingredients leaves it more mango than lemonade. I'm okay with that. It is a bit sweeter than I would like it to be, as you lost all but the faintest tinge of the sourness of the lemon. For prepackaged lemonade it's AOK though.

Did Made start off as a little roadside stand run by a couple of youngsters? As they grew older did they start buying out other kids stands? Do they represent the interests of Big Lemonade? I have no idea, and I honestly don't care. It's a drink that I enjoy that doesn't have weird artificial ingredients in it. It also has a nice “retro” look to its label. Get into it.

While aloe drinks would most likely be something new and exciting to the general population, they have become old hat to me. I love them and think they are delicious, but I've run out of things to say about them because for the most part they are all fairly similar. They are a sweet, slightly syrupy drink that tastes a bit like white grape juice with chunks in it. I'm pretty sure you could serve it in glass to someone and tell them it was white grape juice with pulp and they wouldn't ever question it. The funny thing is that this is the first bottle of aloe juice that I can recall that actually has grape flavoring added to it. Why not play up on your strengths?

This is fairly standard for Korean aloe drinks. It has decent sized chunks in it that are great, and the flavor is as described above. If you've had one before you know exactly how this tastes without even cracking it open. Why wouldn't you crack it open though? If you know how it tastes then you know you want to drink it, and you want to drink it now, because as standard as it is, it's still something to be admired.