I enjoy watermelon. I enjoy pineapple. I enjoy a nice fruit salad in the summertime. I enjoy that Big Shot took the time to put two summertime classics together but in typical Big Shot fashion, it's just garbage pop.

Look, New Orleans. Get it together. You've got a lot going for you. Musically you are a wonderful place. Foodically you are a wonderful place. Leave it at that. Drinks can go to someone else. You don't need to have your hands in everything. You're bound to just spread yourself too thin.

This tastes like sharp candy and not like fruit. It tastes like if you had a generic watermelon and generic pineapple mix, said to yourself, "Oh, that would be interesting." and then went ahead and made it. No thought. Just two flavors that sounded good on paper put together and pushed out to the masses. Anyone who can finish this deserves equal part insane asylum invitation and badge of honor. You can't have both because the badge is sharp and you could hurt yourself and we don't want that.

This happened to the beverage world. Two youths were walking down the street, one with a Vitamin Water the other with an energy drink and they collided causing a tasty mess to be born.

Actually to be more accurate it would be like someone boiled down an orange mango Vitamin Water and dried out what was left over until it was a powder that they mixed into sparkling water, added some green coffee bean extract and B vitamins for energy and called it a day. So I guess it's nothing like that commercial, but it's still tasty. It has a bit of a stevia taste, but nothing that would put anyone off. It actually tastes kind of like a candy from when I was a kid, but I can't place exactly what. If I think of it I'll make sure to not remember to let you know.

What we have here is a fairly standard classic energy drink. It seems wrong to call it a classic, but this year marks the 30 year anniversary of Red Bull (even though it didn't become popular until much later). I mean according to Google cars are considered to be classic if they are over 20 years old. By those standards this flavor is an antique. The passing of time is a very strange thing indeed.

If you've had energy drinks you have an idea of how this tastes, and it's a flavor you initially probably did not care for, but if you're like me you grew to love it. There's nothing wrong with making similar products at a lower cost. Save yourself some cash and bypass the bigger brands for a can of this. It tastes the same and gives you the same boost. I mean you can still buy that Red Bull if you want to be a fool.

This is a monkey paw type situation here. You get to make wishes, which come true, but inevitably it is in some horrible way. The downfall of protein drinks has always been the sandy grittiness they tend have. The texture of the whey protein takes me for a loop. I grasped onto that tiny little mummified hand and prayed to the dark powers that be for a beverage that would deliver the proteins my body so baby craves but with a smoother texture. Folks, my wish came true, but along with it came a heavy diet flavor. Sure there is a nice creamy vanilla flavor buried in there, but that sucralose just cuts right through everything. It's as smooth as water, but unless you have the taste for all things diet (people claim you become acclimated to it, but I think they are liars), you might be better off dealing with the grit.

True Brew, a company we were previously familiar with due to their line of excellent juices, has expanded their grasp into the juice world. Their #true Power line is 100% juice, with no preservatives and it is jam packed with super fruits to provide the drinker with a natural boost of energy. While I think this is a wonderful (and tasty) idea, I'm afraid that in a world obsessed with modern energy drinks that these juices just don't give enough oomph to make people switch over. It's a sad truth that most people care more about results than health in this country. I fully admit that I am one of those people. If I have to pull an overnight drink, one of these juices just wouldn't cut it, and I'm going to grab a Red Bull/Monster style drink. I wish that wasn't the case, but I am weak.

A good thing about this juice is that you don't have to be looking for an energy boost to enjoy it. It just so happens that it is a fantastic tasting beverage on its own, and there is no guilt associated with drinking it. You don't have to worry about consuming added sugar, or it giving you the jitters that keep you from sleeping. It has a light pineapple taste, with a heavier cherry one pulling it along. It's one of those rare beverages that actually tastes like cherries, and not just “red.” In this case they are the super fruit acerola cherries, which I've never had in its natural form, but I've had enough juices made with them that I know I would really enjoy the fruit. It's mellow, flavorful and makes me feel like a glutton, because after this 12oz bottle I was left wanting about 40 more ounces.

This is the kind of drink that you should be using to replace the dozens of cups of coffee you possibly down throughout your work day. It will give you just enough push for times like those. I wouldn't rely on them for times where you simply cannot fall asleep; you know when Freddie will get you, or when a pod person will replace you. For those times go with a serious stimulant.

I know you, brah. I know that you've always asked yourself, "Oh, hey. I wonder what it would be like to drink orange juice that has been sitting in a jar of pennies overnight." Well my dumb friend, I've got it. This tastes like if you drank a bad orange juice and ate aluminum foil at the same time. This tastes like you drank orange juice and chased it with licking a nine volt battery.

Well, consider me schooled. I first encountered horchata about ten years ago in a Mexican restaurant in Chicago. A friend heavily recommended that I get a glass, and I fell in love. It was a wonderfully sweet cinnamon rice drink. Since then I have always gotten a glass of it when it was available in restaurants. When I heard about Tigernut I was very pleased with the possibility of purchasing ready to drink versions of it outside of restaurants. The company was nice enough to send us some samples for review, and I couldn't help but go for the chai flavored one first. Horchata and chai are two flavors that I absolutely love, and I knew they would complement each other in the best possible way.

When I took my first sip I was a bit confused. You see there is no rice in this drink at all. The ingredient list says it contains water, tigernuts (actually a tuber and not a nut at all), dates, spices, and well…€¦love. It's nut, dairy and gluten free, but it also being void of rice had me questioning the company. I then did some research and discovered that what I am used to is the Latin American version of the drink. This is the version from Spain. Learning that helped to quell my disappointment. Now that I knew this was a completely different beverage I could enjoy it more, since I wasn't expecting ingredients that did not exist.

There is no dairy in here, but it's very milky. It really tastes like an ices chai latte. The spices taste real and not just a bunch of stuff jammed together. Essentially this tastes like a nice high end chai beverage. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish it had some rice in it, but knowing what it is supposed to be, it has achieved exactly that in a tasty manner.

What better way to start off a week than with a kind of slimy sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant and an iced coffee drink? Well, for starters, don't get the croissant because you knew it wasn't going to be good and second don't start off by going to the police station to retrieve a police report on an accident you were in over the weekend. That's how. I suppose that this drink may make my week start off a little bit better. Why? Well, it's not too bad, that's why. It was also served with a smile that felt sincere so that always helps.

This drink? Much of the same but the hazelnut flavor was pretty prominent. No, it didn't taste like Nutella which is partially what I wanted it to taste like but it also didn't really taste like coffee too much either. I'm so/so on that one. I wish that I had gotten my iced fudge almond thing but I saw a new drink and had to review it. Such is my life, right? Was this good? Yeah. It was good but slushie drinks in the morning are kind of, well, gluttonous. It was sweet and cold. It would have made a nice closer to my day rather than an opener. I'm planning things all wrong today now that I'm finishing this review. I might be off on a bad foot.

Shane, let's take a trip. You and I have been working hard and deserve a trip. Why do we work and save if we can't enjoy our savings? What inspired this? I drank some of this coconut water and now I've got a taste for the tropics. I want the sun. I want the sand. I want it all. I know it's not going to be a cheap trip but what's the fun of saving all that money and never spending it. I know you like to be cautious but there comes a time where you have to give in a little bit. Here, try some of this see if you can see where I'm coming from.

Can't you just taste the sunshine? It's great. Look. It's coconut water but that's all it is and I'm giving credit where credit's due. No preservatives. No sugar. No...I don't know…€¦enriched vitamins and minerals? I bet if I plucked a coconut off a tree and put it in the fridge and came back later, cracked it open and drank it, this is what it would taste like. It's a good coconut flavor with no bells and whistles.

What do you say? Should we book the trip? I think we should. No, not Florida, something sandier. More palm trees. Hawaii. Yeah. That's right. Let's go to all the scenes from Andy Sidaris movies.

This is a beverage for all of those times that you find yourself in Innerspace/Fantastic Voyage type scenarios. You know something happens internally to someone and only you can be shrunk down to travel inside their person and right the wrongs of the human body. It may sound like a walk in the park, but there are anti-bodies in humans that simply do not like outsiders, they are kind of racist that way. In order to sneak by them we suggest that you drape yourself in pink real tree camo. It's the only appropriate attire for inter-body warfare.

Exploring the interworking of a human can take quite some time when you're that small. You need to be aware and alert the entire time, so why not down this energy drink that will blend right in with your camo. You can drink it while inside your friend and the antibodies will be none the wiser. Unfortunately convenience doesn't always taste the greatest. This is supposed to be pink lemonade flavored, but it just tastes like sweet lemon poison. It's one of those beverages that if you served to someone say 20 years ago they would have seriously thought you were serving them poison. As a species we've become so acclimated to the taste of energy drinks that we no longer remember how weird and kind of wrong they tasted the first time we tried them. This beverage has that weirdness turned up to ten. It's more chemical than lemonade. It's like they're not even trying to mask it.

I guess sacrifices must be made when you shrink yourself into a tiny person. Get in there save the day, come out through a nostril or ear and become the hero you were born to be. Just make sure not to leave your trash behind. That could wreak havoc on the person you're trying to save.

While Sunny D is fine for children to drink, I fully believe that it is completely unacceptable for adults to consume it. I didn't even realize I had that stance until I found this can of Sunny D X and realized that we had never reviewed the original. You know what, I'm fine with that.

I dreaded drinking this. It is the Dread Pirate Roberts of sparkling beverages. I expected it to be as thick as the original but with bubbles. I don't even know how you can carbonate something so thick, and I guess I never will as this is just slightly thicker than a normal pop. Actually everything I anticipated about this beverage was out the window” it wasn't thick, it isn't really an energy drink (it does have B vitamins in it though), and it didn't taste like the sludge I remember this company putting out.

Take a classic lemon lime soda and add a little bit more lime to it. Okay, now put in a little grapefruit for good measure. Actually you might as well throw in some orange and tangerine as well. Somehow the lemon and lime stay at the top and the rest of the fruits mingle in the background. They are just extras in this made for TV movie. Now add some bubbles and the result is shockingly pretty decent. For some reason it almost has a malt taste to it, which I don't understand, but I don't hate. Actually I kind of enjoy it way more than I feel comfortable admitting. I mean I'm still not going to go back and try the fake juice original version, but this is something I would possibly drink again. It's too bad the can looks so budget though. It looks like a beverage you would find at the Dollar Store.

You know what? We don't have time to work out today, Fred. Let's just drink these protein drinks and play video games instead. No, I know you have a routine and today was "legs" but you can do legs tomorrow. Today we've got things to do in this game. It's raining and I don't want to go outside. I bought these the other day and thought that we could load up on the necessary proteins that we need to get ripped.

Fred...this is strange. Does it taste like if you ate a crayon and it tasted like chocolate? I mean, it's not too gritty and it's pretty smooth, the way I like a chocolate milk to be but something in here is throwing me off. No, I didn't mean...Fred. I didn't mean throw me off the cliff in this game. You're wasting my guys. I know we used cheat codes for infinite guys but it's still annoying.

What is it in this drink? I mean we've been drinking it for ten minutes and it was pretty decent when it started but as it began to warm up, it got a little strange. You can taste the Stevia more and it regrows the "bad protein" flavors back that it didn't have when it was really cold. If "new car chocolate" was a flavor, this would be it.

Stop throwing me off cliffs, Fred! I guess I deserve it since I'm just talking about this drink and not crushing guys like you. How did you get so good at this game? Have I been talking for that long? Man, I must be in the zone, chief.

Sometimes you just have those days where you just need to get out of the city. You feel like you've been indoors too much, and even when you're not it just doesn't feel like the outdoors. You get antsy and start to go insane, and you need to be in the green. Actually, maybe that doesn't happen to normal people, but I most definitely am not normal and yesterday I was just losing my mind. As a result I jumped in my car with some good music and just drove an hour out into the forest. There was no sign of civilization around me for miles. I breathed in deep and took it all in. it was exactly what I needed to even myself out. I ended up hiking for about ten miles and it was glorious, I even saw a bald eagle. Stupidly I only brought one bottle of water, a Cliff Bar and an apple. By the time I was done I was exhausted and dehydrated. There was only one beverage that would give me the refreshment that I so desperately craved and that was a can of coconut water.

This is pretty standard pure coconut water. There is nothing in it but the water and some pulp. By some pulp I mean a lot pulp. More than there probably needed to be, but I can't see anyone buys coconut water with pulp unless they loved the stuff, so in that case it's probably just perfect. The can did just what I needed it to do, and it did so with a pleasant taste. Man, for someone who has such an intense hatred for toasted coconut, I sure have come to enjoy these drinks.

So I'm out hanging out with these guys I met at a They Might Be Giants concert in `96. Back then we were just kids, but now they have grown into full blown scientists. I know, it's not very shocking that TMBG fans would become scientists. Anyway I ran into them at this bar and we're out for the night if you know what I mean. Oh you don't, I mean they took me under their wing and we hit the bar trivia circuit and we hit it hard. These guys were maniacs, going for the gold in every saloon we entered. Around 2am, I started to falter. It was a long day and I'm not used to being up that late. Suddenly one of the guys passes me this can under the table and says it's the science energy drink. It's made from herbs and it helps to improve focus, motivation and drive, not just jack you up and give you the jitters like that gas station junk. I guess they had secretly been downing them all night. He said for me to sneak off to the bathroom and down it in the stall; it would help me to concentrate on the trivia.

So I do as he says, and I have to tell you I think the guys might have been playing a joke on me. You see the only thing this drink helped me focus on was how gross it tasted. As soon as I popped the can the air was filled with what I can only describe as a sour coffee smell. Actually I can tell you that it smells exactly like someone spilled an entire iced coffee all over them and then went into Subway to clean it up. That weird non-bread bread smell and old gross coffee have no business mingling together, yet that is what I feel is happening in my nasal passage. I was disgusted and I hadn't even tasted it yet.

Once I finally managed to bring myself to drink it the old coffee flavor was definitely there, but unfortunately it wasn't alone. It brought along some friends. It tasted like what I imagined green tea soda from a gun at a bar would taste like; fake, watered down and syrupy all at the same time. Oh did I mention that the tea was very heavily flavored with ginseng? You know that root that tastes just like dirt? So we have all of that mixed together, and it might not have been all that terrible, but then hidden underneath it all was this weird fruity flavor that derailed any hope for a decent drink. Oh top off all that it was harsh on the throat.

I drank as much of the can as I could stand and then I realized that this night wasn't even fun. I just got swept up in the glamor of science, and why was I paying for all the drinks? I slam dunked the can in the trash and left by the back door. Remember as a rule, don't trust They Might Be Giants fans who only like the goofy educational songs.

Ladies and Gentlemen, We have done it. We have compressed all that you love about apples and turned it into a liquid that closely resembles that of its original, solid form. Please hold for applause. We have some more explaining to do. We've taken apples, actual apples and compressed them down until their poor skins cannot contain their contents any longer and when that happened, we compressed even more to release the sweet nectar of the apple. Then we added a little bit of sugar, you know, for fun.

Now, and only until now, can you applaud and get in line to shake the hand at the scientists that we gave massive amounts of money at to develop this master beverage. Why isn't anyone clamoring to allow these scientists, these masters of men, to impregnate their wives and determine the worthiness of their very being? I'm sorry sir, what did you say? Apple juice exists? Surely you jest. This has never been done before. What do you mean that baby has some? Baby, come here. Give me your bottle. Oh, you're very cute. Thank you. I promise I will not drink your entire bottle. I am a scientist, not a monster.

Huh. Well. This is a bit humiliating. It appears that this drink which you peasants call "apple juice" does exist and is readily available. It appears we have not only wasted your time calling you out of your homes and work, but have also wasted tens of thousands of dollars on developing something that all of you are more than familiar with. Perhaps us scientists should stop working in caves and go outside into the sunshine and fraternize with the people to find out what they really want. Our bad.

Dublin is famous for many things. Mostly all I care about are bands from there; U2, Thin Lizzy and My Bloody Valentine to name a few. I once played an insane house show in that very Irish city, where kids were literally spilling out of windows. Dublin is also the home of the first bottling of Dr. Pepper. Oh wait, that is a completely different city, in a completely different country. For years when people talked about Dublin Dr. Pepper I really thought that it was made in Ireland. As it turns out it was made in a little town in Texas, until the higher ups at Dr. Pepper shut down production due to breach of contract (I believe). It's a shame because I know a lot of people really loved the cane sugar version in the glass bottle. One such person is Cassandra Peterson (aka Elvira) who wrote a nice eulogy of the soda for us.

To be honest I didn't even know the plant was still in operation. I certainly had no idea that they had their own line of sodas. I figured they were a bottler for Snapple or something. I'm glad they kept going because I am one for tradition and my ladyfriend will sigh and vouch that I am not one for change. This company has been bottling soda since the late 1800s, and that is awesomely ridiculous.

As a nod to the old days this bottle has a nice retro look. I feel dirty for typing those words because most things that are described as retro end up being cheap and not worth anyone's time. This though, this is a nice look for a classic soda flavor. Actually I don't know if Cherry Limeade is in fact a classic flavor, but it always seemed like something that should be available at the soda shoppe. If you're not familiar with the flavor, the name says it all. It's like a sparkling lemonade (made with limes instead of lemons) with cherry syrup mixed in. It's like a Shirley Temple without the lemon in the lemon-lime base. This may not taste like real fruit, but I don't think I would even want it to. There are some flavors of soda that should be straight up sugary sweet and syrupy. This is one of them, and Dublin has done it right.

I am aware of the fact that this is a tremendously generic photo and there is nothing I can do about that short of take a picture of the dispenser I received the drink from. Taking that with a grain of salt, this drink is better than you would presume. It is slightly spicy like you would expect a Mexican Hot Chocolate. If you haven't had it, please find some. It is hot chocolate, which is delicious, mixed with some spices like cinnamon and some peppers so it's equal parts spicy and herby. Herby? Eh, I'll accept it.

Another little tidbit of information that you might like to know is that society and generosity is not dead. Why would drinking a Mexican hot cocoa mean that? It doesn't. What does is that I forgot my wallet and was about to dump this down the drain along with my limited amount of happiness but a woman at the counter saw me do "the pat" against my pants and knew what was up. She bought it for me and I was eternally grateful. Seriously, I do nice things for you people all the time and it rarely comes back. I don't ask for it, but I'm silently counting to myself and the chart points at me being a real super guy and you at being the equivalent of human garbage.

Every wonder why fruits and vegetables are different colors? Of course you haven't because we are adults, who don't have the curiosity of children and such things play no part in our everyday lives. I for one do not think I have ever contemplated such a thing, but I have just learned that beta-carotene is what gives carrots, pumpkins, sweet potatoes and other reddish orange vegetables their color. For some reason knowing that gives me a satisfied feeling. Of course I'm still a dumb adult and won't further look into other hues of food, but for now I'm feeling okay.

Dose, with their logo that I can't get enough of for its simplicity, has created a line of vitamin based shot beverages to help people live a healthier lifestyle. Instead of taking a whole mess of pill vitamins in the morning you can just down one of these pleasant tasting 5oz beverages. Each can contains the equivalent to a handful of various pills that will no longer get caught in your throat when you try to take them without enough water. In a world of fast food and fast living more people than I would care to admit would benefit greatly from these. In addition to the B-Carotene the drinker also gets their daily dose of iron as well as vitamins E and C.

Due to the fact that all I knew about Beta-Carotene going into this endeavor was that it was in carrots and it helped with eyesight (it apparently has a whole mess of other benefits as well), I full expected this to have a carrot taste to it, even though it's labeled orange. I prepared my taste buds for a combination of those two flavors, but all I got was orange that reminded me of Tang, which is not a bad thing. In fact there is no orange listed in the ingredients list. There is apple juice though, and now that I know that I can totally pick it out. It's what's giving this the not quite real orange flavor. Again, I'm not complaining. I actually enjoy it; I'm just trying to explain it for you to the best of my ability. It is a slightly odd flavor choice as it says not to give it to children, and it tastes like a healthier kids drink to me. Oh well vitamins for all!!! (except children and pregnant women, they get to suffer from malnourishment).

Yesterday my sister had a baby. Not like she had a baby over to visit, I mean she gave birth to a little girl. To celebrate this I decided to drink this bottle of Hey Mama! iced tea. Then through the use of some sort of dark arts I shall transfer all benefits this would normally give a new mom to her, you know using bloodlines and such. That's how these things work right?

This tea in particular is supposed to aid with lactation. It also has a large heap of chamomile in it to help the new mother calm down and just relax a bit. There are vaguely strange things for an iced tea to promise but if it's what the mothers need, it's what they'll get.

Let me state that I bought this tea on accident. I mean I intentionally purchased it, but I was in a haze of buying dozens of drinks in bodegas in NYC. Manhattan and Brooklyn are hotspots for new drinks. In a world where it's rare that I come across something we haven't already reviewed I felt like I was drowning in a sea of wonderful beverages and my bank account was draining. I would go into the coolers and just grab anything we hadn't reviewed yet. I registered that this was a tea that we had not reviewed so I bought it. I didn't notice that it was specifically for mothers, not that it would have stopped me. What would have potentially stopped me was the price. It looked like it said $1.99, but it actually said $4.99. A hefty price for a tea, but once I realized it was brewed for a specific reason I understood, even if I think it was still a tad pricey.

Enough rambling, on with the taste. This tastes like someone started to brew some root beer from scratch, but only put in half the ingredients, leaving out the wintergreen, vanilla and sarsaparilla. Instead they replaced them with pomegranate and blueberry and doubled the amount of licorice. It tastes like a fruity, woodsy concoction, meaning that it tastes like someone soaked wood (specifically licorice switches) in a pot of juice. It's unusual, but not unpleasant. If you don't like fennel/licorice I wouldn't immediately write this off. It doesn't taste like black licorice or black jelly beans. It has a much milder flavor that tastes completely natural. It's not something I would drink on the regular, but I could see myself enjoying it from time to time. The chamomile really does calm you down a bit as well.

Okay I might as well say it, no I did not experience any lactation being a male, who is obviously never had a child. For thinking that you are in fact the child though, but so are we on this end because we joked about it and giggled a lot. Now on to the vitamin transference.

With a name like Sprizz-O for a beverage that boasts to be “Juice & Seltzer Water” I would expect simplicity. In my head its creation would go something along the lines of putting juice in a glass and adding just a spritz of seltzer water to give it some carbonation. That it's that's all that would go into it, and you know what it would be great. Sure in this instance it would be sour because of the grapefruit juice and a tad bitter because of the seltzer water, but it would be pure and simple. It would be something to embrace. Unfortunately, most of the world would not share in my jubilation for such a beverage, and Sprizz-O knows it. As a result they included sugar into the mix to tame the sour/bitter taste that nature had intended.

I can't blame them. They are a business and I'm sure they will sell way more bottles this way instead of the way I envisioned. To be fair they also only added minimal sugar (9g), and you still get most of the sourness from the grapefruit. They added just enough to take a bit of the edge off. It's not ideal for one such as me, but it's close enough that I can't complain. So ignore everything I wrote previously. This is a great sparkling beverage that more people should replace their normal soda intake with.