I didn't realize yesterday was the first day of summer until someone on Facebook posted about it. Shows you how much I pay attention to stuff like that. I think the only people who know about that kind of stuff are those who work in offices with someone who just loves to bring little factoids like that up because they have nothing else going on in their life and don't know how to have a real conversation that isn't about yesterday's episode of the Maury Povich show (which they record on their programmed VCR because they can't be bothered to upgrade to a DVR like the rest of the world).

So yeah, I didn't know yesterday was the first day of summer. Does it really matter? Not really. It wouldn't have changed my day at all. I would have still gotten crappy news, and I still would have seen one of my favorite bands play at a new venue in town. Most importantly, I would have still drunk this lemonade because it's 1:30am and it's stupidly hot. I've been lying in bed thinking about what to do with my summer while watching The League and unsuccessfully sleeping. I felt parched and remembered I had this jug in the fridge.

Most people probably think of apples/apple cider when they hear the name Mayer Bros, but let me tell you they make a hell of a lemonade. Granted this is the first lemonade I've had this summer so far, but it's going to be hard to beat. It's tart and crisp and the perfect sweetness. Most importantly, it has that indefinable "pink" flavor that is just so good. Do yourself a favor and pick up a jug of this lemonade during the summer heat. You'll thank me later.

Update:
Hawiian Ola has updated their formula a bit by adding some pineapple juice in to the mix and it makes a world of a difference. Say “So long” to the harsh bitterness and cuddle up with some tropical fruit flavors. It's a shot, but I would have no problem drinking a full glass of this, well minus the dumb amount of energy I would receive with no outlet for it. Even though I'm sure it's not in any way true I will choose to believe that Mike's review of the original formulation, which can be read below, was directly responsible for the update. We have that kind of pull here at Thirsty Dudes, right?

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Jeez Louise. I have drunk some strong drinks in my day but this might push some unlucky contender out of the top five. Note to the weak tongued, this is one bitter drink. It's like a concentrate of yerba mate and green tea but tastes between a really bitter tea and, for reasons unbeknownst to me, an old coffee taste.

After a while when your amazement and tears subside, you get a little bit of a concentrated fruit taste. There is nothing you want in this drink but because it's a shot, it's like they just want to make it easier for you to get everything you need. I think if you took this tiny bottle and poured it into a proper pint glass and just filled it with water, this might be a pretty good drink. Alone it's pretty gnarly. Not bad, just overpowering of all good things.

To those who say "You can't have too much of a good thing." should drink this and will presumably say, "You know what? Fruit is good but they could have cut back a little bit. These good things were properly too much'd."

Cheribundi has expanded their line and is stepping up their game. First off that is one great looking packaging. Sure the bottle itself is really nothing too crazy, but everything from the colors to the typeface to the tasteful picture of cherries is absolutely perfect. It's so simple and esthetically pleasing. Lucky for us the taste of the liquid it contains is also just as pleasing.

The jasmine tea base in here is not as floral as others I've tried, and I think that is for the best. Don't get me wrong, I love a nice floral jasmine, if that is all that it is, but once you add other flavors to that, a toned down version works much better. Since this is a company who is known for their cherry juice, I had expected this to be exploding with cherry flavor. A lot of companies overdo things that way, but just like with the design, they knew that less would be more with this. There is a nice cherry flavor that is a little tart, but overall it's pretty subtle in the mix, and it intermingles nice with the tea. The one thing I would change about this is that it is a little sweeter than it needs to be. I personally enjoy my jasmine tea unsweetened, but I understand that the tartness of the cherry also has to be taken into consideration. It is my opinion that if the amount of added sugar were cut in half the drink would have greatly benefited and would have earned a full five bottles. Hey, four bottles on Thirsty Dudes is nothing to scoff at, but I always hope drinks will win the whole pot.

How to the people at Brisk sleep at night, knowing the damage they have wrought to the world of iced tea? Brisk is to iced tea what sour apple flavoring is to apples. They are about as far removed as you can be from the original and still share a base name. It just gives iced tea a bad name for those out there who haven't (for some reason or another) tasted real, decent tea.

While I disagree with this line, I have to admit that this flavor is a little bit of alright. It is not amazing, it's not even really all that good, but I did have a one liter bottle of it, and over two sittings I drank the entire thing. None of it got dumped down the drain, like I had expected. White it definitely has their classic “iced tea” in there, the lemonade makes up for it. It gives it a nice balance, and on a nice hot day like today I will begrudgingly say it hits the spot.

I am concerned that the ingredient list reads: water, high fructose corn syrup…€¦. Seriously, the sweetener so high on the list? That's just kind of disgusting. Shockingly there are only 44g of sugar in this entire bottle. I expected it to be in the 60s, but that is still a lot.

Little. Yellow. Different.
…€¦or is it Wet. Bubbly. Standard.
I'm not exactly sure.
This was sent to us, and as I'm not a connoisseur of sparkling mineral water, it tastes like every other one that I've ever had. This really isn't our forte, but it seemed decent enough. I don't know what else to say about this.

Come along with me, if you will. Travel with me back in time to an hour ago when I ordered this drink. I says to the lady I say, "I'll have a strawberry iced tea." to which she responds with, "It's unsweetened." and I responded with, "That's even better."

Cut to five minutes later and I'm sitting down and I take my first sip and think to myself, "What the heck just happened to this iced tea?" I take another sip and see what's going on. What they did is take the unsweetened tea and pour an allocated amount of strawberry puree into it. It is actually very good. The strawberry takes a bit out of the tea, if I'm being honest. I enjoy the taste of unsweetened tea so if they cut it down on the amount of puree and let the tea shine through a little bit more, this would absolutely be something I come back to time and time again.

A nice walk back to the office with a little of the ice melted cut down on the sweetness and turned the once good drink into a really good drink. Wendy and your squad of workers, you have done good by me today.

Purple stuff. We've all seen the Sunny D commercial so you all know what I'm talking about when I say that. Purple drink is a little more kind to say, as it is drinkable. This energy drink reminds me of purple drink. It has a purple/grape taste that is hard to mistake. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's just nothing to write home about. As far as energy drinks as a whole go, this is definitely in the top 50 percentile.

I still think I would like it more if there was a cartoon bee on the can. But sadly it probably wouldn't be the bee that is in my head with a Rambo headband/armbands, bulging muscles, wounds, etc... Now that I'm typing this out, it sounds like a horrible idea. Don't listen to my can design suggestions Killer Buzz.

It's a beautiful day out, so you decide to lay out in the back yard, while listening to a little Air Supply and get your self a tan. Oops, you almost forgot two crucial items before you walked out the door; your tanning oil and a nice refreshing glass of pomegranate juice. As you sit down in your weird plastic tube lawn chair that has existed since the same year you bought that Air Supply cassette, you start lathering up. It's been so rainy and cloudy lately that you haven't been able to work on your tan as much as you wanted. You were so excited that you didn't even notice that a huge glob of your coconut scented tanning oil fell right into your cool refreshing beverage.

There you go. Now you have a vivid image of what my ladyfriend told me this drink tasted like. I can't argue with her. I had high hopes for this, but unfortunately the coconut in here falls too close to the toasted coconut taste that I despise, which leaves it tasting like your at the beach and you licked your lips after the tanning oil you slathered on your face dripped down a bit. I really wanted this to taste more like classic coconut water, but it wasn't meant to be. At least it has a great tasting pomegranate base.

Coffee fans in the unreachable corners of the world rejoice! Now you can turn up your nose at the rest of the world like regular, fancy, city folk in the privacy of your own home. Go ahead. Grab all your computers and books and put them in one room and pretend to work while you sip your coffee and milk Starbucks iced coffee just like if you were in a real Starbucks. Listen to the latest Vampire Weekend out of your laptop speakers too loud while you blog about the people around you and how "lame" they are. While you drink this nicely sweetened, nicely flavored coffee drink, you can pretend you can close your eyes and imagine that you've got something better to do that what you're doing right now. You drink this cafe quality drink and shake your head at all your relatives that come in the door because what they are wearing is so last season.

As soon as the bottle is done, you can take one more coffee scented sigh and return to the life that you were living before that bottle of downtown life came into your possession. Maybe next time the boat drops off supplied to your tiny village they will have another case of them to fight over. In the mean time there is no shortage of coconuts and playing cards. Have fun.

Seriously, how many flavors does Gatorade have? Every time I think I know them all I turn around at a store and an unfamiliar face is staring up at me, just taunting. I think there were less than five varieties when I was a kid, and I was okay with that. Then they expanded their line and things got a little lighter, and I thought to myself, well that actually is much better. Now there are so many that I can't even keep track, and the thing is that unless I drink them side by side, a lot of them taste very similar.

A little research told me that as of now the Fit line is no longer in production, but that it should be back next year, after some reformulating/repackaging. With this line they were trying to ensnare gym rats into their empire. The entire line included a pre-workout protein bar, a fruit based protein drink for while you work out and these low calorie versions of their normal drinks for post gym time. For me that is far too much to worry about. I'll drink water when I work out, and occasionally a protein drink afterwards. Then again I'm not fanatical about the gym. I'm not trying to get ripped, just to stay in some moderate form of health.

So yeah, this line didn't quite catch on, but it tastes okay to me. It's low calorie, but they get there by mixing sucrose and stevia, so it doesn't have an overly diet taste. The stevia is there a little, but it's easily ignored. The beverage is clear, which is strange for Gatorade, but I understand they are trying to give the illusion of it being a better alternative to water while working out, and any sort of coloring in a drink would take away from that notion. The flavor is the lightest I've ever tasted in a Gatorade flavor. It's hard to distinguish the mango or passion fruit, since they are normally such prominent flavors. By dialing them back it gives the beverage a general tropical flavor that hints at each, but doesn't go overboard.

It's too bad that this line didn't catch on, well at least these post workout drinks. They make for a decent low calorie beverage that doesn't taste like poison.

If you ask any of us what the hardest thing to review is, we would pretty quickly and without question say "apple juice." I've had good apple juice and bad apple juice but it's all within a fraction of a point. We aim to drink it all but nonetheless; it doesn't make judging it any easier or harder.

I'm no apple connoisseur by any means but I've drunk like twenty different apple juices and they all taste very close to each other. Look, they're all great but, and I'm generalizing here, they're all just apple juice. I'm sorry to those that have really put a lot of effort into creating an organic apple juice but your apple juice is just as good as the guy that is filling his to the brim with good old fashioned arsenic and pig feet.

This tastes like apples. Congratulations. What more do you want from me?

I've spent the past few weeks trouncing around the Amazon collecting green tea. Sure, I could buy it in a store, or even grow it myself in some sort of green house, but if you ask me it never tastes quite right unless it's procured directly from the source. The thing is that well…€¦I'm sort of lost. Well, let me rephrase that, I was lost, but then I found the river and I have been following it back to the village I will be flying out of. Yancy, my top hat wearing llama, seems to be in good spirits and appears to have no qualms with carrying all the tea I've picked. I know from landmarks that we have about a days walk back to the village, so this whole fiasco hasn't been too big of a deal. My only real problem is that I am running low on the coconut water I brought with me for hydration. Sure, I have plenty of water, but I've become accustomed to the refreshment I can only achieve from the essence of the coconut.

I've come up with a solution. I am going to ration the coconut water I have and cut it with some green tea. It might not be the same, but at least I'll get a little quenching without being tempted to just down the rest of my rations. I am weak willed like that. Okay I have the mixture in two bottles now. One I shall drink post haste and the other I will save for the morning. Oh wow, this is ridiculously good. I feel like I'm still getting that special hydration from the coconut, but it mostly has the flavor of the green tea. I mean you can still taste the coconut water in there, but it's the tea that really shines. I really did put in just enough sugar. It was kind of a lot, but it really works well. I really can't believe how well this worked! I'm going to do this all the time now, it just means I have less coconut water to bring on my excursions, and that will make Yancy quite pleased. You know what? Screw tomorrow, I'm going to drink the other bottle now, and plod through the night.

It would be unfair to call this soda, because it really isn't. I could see how someone could mistake it for soda, but in reality it's a sparkling juice; the juice being grapefruit juice in this case. Now me and grapefruit juice have an on-again/off-again type of relationship, I like grapefruit flavored things, but in moderation. I can't really stomach a full glass of the juice, but a little bit here and there or mixed with something I can handle.

Which is why I love this drink. It's only 16% grapefruit juice but in my eyes it's the perfect mixture. It's just the right amount of sour without destroying my taste buds for weeks. San Pellegrino is good like that, knowing the perfect mix of things for their drinks.

I know that grinning is supposed to be a good thing. It's supposed to mean that you're happy, but there always seem something menacing behind it to me. I think that it's the bearing of the teeth that puts me on edge. It's like a more aggressive smirk, as if the person doing the grinning is going to just leap out at you and rip our your jugular with those teeth they are so keen on showing off. I don't know about you, but I don't want that happening to me. I like my jugular just fine in its current placement.

Now Grins Naturally Flavored Water on the other hand is definitely a good thing. It's got a bunch of vitamins in it and not too much sugar. Most importantly though is that unlike a lot of beverages in this wheelhouse it has the consistency and feel of actual water (well at least remotely). A lot of these companies call their drinks flavored water, but there is so much sugar and other junk in them that I would never in a million years associate them with H2O. While Grins does have sugar and a handful of other ingredients in it, it's way lighter than it's contemporaries, and that is something I can get behind. I'm so sick of the obscene amounts of sugar in drinks these days. I just want nice light drinks, and this works for me.

This flavor is citrus and it's heavy on the lemon lime side of that grouping, but there are some other fruits at work in there as well. Overall it's light, and it's smooth in a way that you can drink the whole bottle without really realizing it, at which point you look at it, and wish that it was larger. It is good that it isn't though , because let's face it as a nation we really need to learn portion control.

Children, come and join me. Sit around ye old fountain soda machine as I tell you a tale of woe and wonder. It all began last week when I received a note adhesed to my front door. Now this was no ordinary note, it was instructing me to head to my local postal office after 8am the following day in order to pick up a package. I was intrigued as I had no idea what could possibly be in said box. I assumed it was drinks, but what kind of magic elixir would it contain? Images of teas and fancy sodas danced the tango in my head all night long. It was quite a vision.

The next afternoon after completing my days work on the farm (printing shirts in the basement) I hopped upon my steed (behind the wheel of my car) and headed to my destiny. Upon arrival the building was void of customers and I made quick work of making my way to a clerk. I handed her the note that was on my door and she gave me a strange look as she asked for identification. Having left my official Thirsty Dudes badge back at the home front I presented her with my drivers license, which had an old address on it. Since the addresses did not match I was given a difficult time. I assured her that the package was for me. I showed her how the names matched, and I presented a health insurance card with the correct address listed. That is when the questions started: What was in the box? Why was it so heavy? Did I know there were shipping regulations? I told her that I had no idea what was in the box, and did an embarrassing explanation of what this site was all about. Explaining to an annoyed woman who is entering her twilight that you run a website that reviews non-alcoholic beverages makes you look like a bit of a maniac.

After a longer time than I would like to admit of trying to convince the clerk that I was who I said I was, that the package was for me and that I was not 100% sure what was in the package, the box was brought out from the back. It was completely covered in orange tape and as it was laid before me I noticed that its place of origin was Amsterdam. I know understood all of the hesitation and questioning; this woman thought I was getting marijuana shipped to me. Without thinking about it I let out a big “Oooohhhhhhh, you thought this was weed. I assure you it is not,” as if my word was all she needed, because you know drug dealers/buyers never lie.

I quickly took my leave of the post office made my way to my car and tore into the packaging with my pocketknife. Inside the box were not packages of Europe's finest “dank nugs,” instead it was filled with cans of Cannabis Energy Drink. I sat. I laughed. I pondered what I would do if there was in fact weed in the box. I then drove home, took some pictures and put a couple of cans in the fridge for later consumption.

Let me tell you boys and girls, it took me longer than I expected to actually drink a can. I had no reason to be up all night until yesterday. I popped a top, took a swig and said goodbye to a good night's sleep. I had expected my mouth to be filled with a fluid that tasted like iced tea filtered through rope; heavy on the rope with a touch of lemon, as that is what other hemp drinks I have had tasted like. Unfortunately, I got no rope. What I did get was a beverage that tasted very similar to the fruity generic classic energy drink flavor (is Red Bull). It's a flavor that I have come to love, so it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, I just hoped for something more from Cannabis, as it had such potential. There is hemp seed extract in the beverage, but it's not very apparent in the taste, not that I really know what it tastes like, but all I get is Red Bull, so I don't think there's really much there.

I will tell you that even though I tried to sleep more, I only got about 3 hours of sleep the night I drank this, so the energy aspect of it surely works, and my body hates them for how well it actually did. Now children I hope you don't have nightmares from this tale, but if you come and see me I will give you lighters and shirts that were also in the box from the Netherlands.

Normally I don't really like reviewing mix drinks, because I feel like I'm going to do something wrong and it won't taste the same as if it came out of a bottle or can. I usually leave them to Mike and Derek to review. When Gamma Labs sent us these samples, they send along a little mixer container to make sure you use the proper amount of water and whatnot, so I thought I'd give it a try. First thing I have to say is that it has one hell of a lemon lime flavor. It's so strong that I had to double check to make sure that I had in fact added enough water. It's strong, but it's a good lemon lime. It burns a little to drink it, but not as much as say a melted freezie pop would burn. I kept waiting for the gross diet flavor of sucralose to come through, but it never quite surfaces. It just hides underneath the waves of lemon and lime, until all of the flavor just mellows out in the aftertaste.

Overall I have to say that this is way better than I expected. The flavor is much stronger than most powder drinks, and it gets away without tasting overly diet, or like an energy drink. I have a very long night ahead of me, so here's to hoping this actually works.

The Buddha meditates under trees for long periods of time. He always starts the morning in the shade, but as the sun rises the sun ends up blaring on him and it gets hot, very hot. Let's face it he's also a big guy, so he sweats a lot. The Buddha knows it's important to keep hydrated, so he always keeps a cooler of coconut water with him, so he doesn't dry out and shrivel up.

He prefers to drink straight up coconut water with nothing added to it, but sometimes when he's not meditating into nothingness/everything he wants a little more and goes for some with a little mango juice in it. There's not a whole ton of juice added to it, but it's enough to give it a little flavor. The problem is the company he's sponsored by also adds some sugar to it. The Buddha knows it's unnecessary, but they don't put too much in, so it's not like it's sugar water masquerading as coconut water. It's simply mildly sweetened, lightly flavored coconut water that is a little chalky, but that's what you get with all decent coconut waters. It refreshes him like only coconut water and enlightenment can.

Remember when you asked for that drink that was made from oats that has a real 80's Prince vibe? Well also remember when I said that they'd never make it? Well I was wrong. They made it and they made it well. Sure, the entire song I was singing, both aloud and in my head is the titular track of the drink. That made it go down smoother but without it wouldn't have penalized too much.

This was good. I was leery because, well...oats. It's really hard for me to spell "oats" without putting an "e" in there in an homage to my favorite moustached man from a similar time period. Oh, if this drink were called "Sneaky Pete's Raspberry Beret Oatestanding Beverage" it would probably make me comatose with excitement.

Back to the drink and out of my dreams. It tasted like raspberry had a little bit of a thickness to it but not offensive, just thicker than, say, a water. Even though it was sweetened with Erythritol, you don't really get that. I thought it was cane sugar until I looked, actually.

Raspberry Maneater. I'm leaving you with that. Erotic One On One. Bonus.

Did you know that in the original draft for Heart of Darkness the tale that Joseph Conrad told was very different? For one thing it took place in Ecuador and not Africa and secondly it had nothing to do with the ivory trade. Mr. Conrad was actually writing about his favorite tea, guayusa. Sure the general themes of savagery vs. civilization and racism were there, but the heart of the heart of darkness was tea. Ultimately it was decided that the subject of tea wasn't gripping enough the world over (the English loved it), and it was swapped out for ivory and you have the story we all know.

I for one don't give a rip about ivory. I mean sure I don't want to think of the death of elephants so that man can have nice piano keys. I do on the other hand love me some tea, and guayusa is absolutely wonderful. It's earthy with natural caffeine much like yerba mate. Runa makes it right. It's lightly sweetened with only 14g of sugar in a 14oz bottle. I would enjoy it unsweetened as well, but it's nice to have an option for a sweetened tea that doesn't taste like someone accidentally dropped the whole bag of sugar in it.

Now you know the secret behind a literary classic. Do you feel dirty, or are you just thirsty?

'Tis a rainy day in the "City of Good Neighbors." All neighbors in this fine city are opening their doors and letting the tired and wet in their living rooms. Homes across the city are filled with the memories of wet strangers and not-so-coincidentally, stories of why said wet strangers were allowed to come into their homes.

Although it was raining regular rain, in one section of the world it rains grape rain. Yes it is sticky and yes it smells good but even something that smells good can get old very fast. The stickiness gets old as soon as you get the first drop on you. Stickiness always sucks. Anyhow in the section where it always rains, a company called "Grins" did what they always do when it rains; they lay out square miles of open bottles and fill up all the bottled and then one at a time, screw the tops on and fill up a truck.

When the bottles come in they are washed off and then off to the markets. Even in the wettest of weathers, we in West Coast, NY will still drink water. Flavored, sparkling, or still. This is great because it's light, has a nice candy grape taste, and isn't too sweet. It really goes down smooth and it's in a small bottle so you don't get carried away and drink a gallon of it, which I don't doubt I could drink.

Stay wet Buffalo. Internally and externally. It will help you grow.