Is it just me or does Earl Grey sound like it should be the name of a sheriff from back in the Wild West? You know a grizzled man who will do whatever it takes to bring justice to a small town, even if it means leaving the life he loved behind? Perhaps in the movie that I am apparently pitching his love interest would be a woman from England and he has to choose between being with her and protecting the town. In a scene she will get him to bring some tea she has brought from home and he will pretend he doesn't like it, even though the truth is he finds it very soothing. In the end he will sacrifice himself in order to save the town from a band of outlaws that are causing a commotion. In the final scene his would be love interest will place a cup of tea upon his grave. Come on Hollywood, why aren't you knocking on my door? The movie could be called Teatime in Sundown or some such silly thing.

Oh, once I get this running I'll approach Brooklyn Crafted to do a dual promotion with this soda. Perhaps you are like me and never realized that you wanted an Earl Grey ginger beer. I dare you to take one sip and still be able to honestly make that claim. This is just plain delicious. The essence of the tea is perfectly captured and somehow works great with a very flavorful ginger beer. I bet with the burn this soda has our hero wouldn't have to pretend he didn't like the tea anymore. He could make an offhanded comment about how it felt like a cousin of whiskey or something. You know so he can keep his completely unnecessary forced masculinity. Look I know this movie I thought up in 30 seconds is never going to get made, but this soda is real and you should really get your hands on some.

Are you ready to get PUMPED?!?!?!!? You know, jacked, swole, juicing your pecs? Yeah, me either. I go get exercise, and go to the gym a few times a week, but I'm not looking to get super muscular like a body builder. I just want to be healthy (physically and mentally) and feel good about myself. Being as I feel a bit worn down, due to staying up late watching bad horror sequels, and that I've spent all morning/afternoon painting my basement because I am an idiot that gets ideas in his head and needs to see them through. Seeing as today is a gym day for me it seemed like a good time to drink this little one down. It contains caffeine to give your work out a boost. I'm sure today it will bring me back up to a normal state. This beverage also contains Arginine to aid with circulation as well as glycerin to hydrate you. There is also Citrulline Malate in here, but it doesn't say what it's for. The assumption is something work out related, but perhaps it's for mind control or to track your internet searches. Who knows?

Now that I know, or assume to know, what this is doing to my body I can concentrate on the taste, which is that of a melted Freez-E-Pop, that hasa slightly diet flavoring to it. I have to be honest , although that isn't the greatest flavor, it's exactly what I was hoping it would taste like. I wanted that nostalgia and fake grape taste. Welp, I got it and I'm ready to run 20 miles, or two. More likely two. Possibly three. I'm really bad at running.

This is my new favorite soda, that I didn't even know I wanted to exist. I love ginger beer. I really love pineapple ginger beer, but I never really thought of it being mixed with other fruit juices, except for lime (also delicious). This is one of those things that once you know it exists you feel like a big dummy for not thinking about how awesome of an idea it would be. Like how long were people drinking Coke before someone was like, “Hey, let's put a little cherry in there and shake the whole thing up.” It's a game changer, well at least for me. I don't know if I will ever be able to drink regular ginger beer now without thinking to myself, “man, I wish there was a splash of mango in here.” I'm doomed.

Brooklyn Crafted took their already great ginger beer as a base and added some mango juice concentrate. It completely changes the experience. The burn at the end is sticky sweet in a whole new way. Brooklyn Crafted you have bestowed upon me a blessing, and a curse.

Do you think this product was named before or after Prince passed away? Not that it really matters, I just find myself curious about marketing strategies. I will choose to believe that whether it happened pre or post, it was meant as a tribute to the greatness that is the 1984 album/movie. I can picture a juicer in a room draped with purple velvet yelling along with Darling Nikki while squeezing the juice from a variety of produce, or you know to a lesser extent humming Computer Blue while mixing concentrates (which compose this juice).

I mean I know beets are more maroon that purple, but I get where they are going with this. Do you think Prince would only drink grape and beet juice to keep up with his image? I'll choose to believe, yes.

This tastes like an apple-grape juice that has a bit of beet mixed in. I could use it to be a little more beety and taste more like earth. Yes, that is what I want from juice, an earthy flavor. I know it's not for everyone, but it's for me. Even without the dirt taste this is still great. It gets a little sweet, so I'm not able to drink more than a small glass at a time, but who needs to drink more than that anyway?

Does the label on this look familiar to you? If you are an avid ginger beer drinker you may have noticed that this label is pretty much the same as those on Bruce Cost labels. It turns out that they both have the same parent company (along with Brooklyn Organics). At first I thought that perhaps the two other companies had merged into one, and then I realized that Bruce Cost is a ginger ale (even though it's loaded with ginger that it's cloudy with sediment) and this is a ginger beer. This company knows what they are doing when it comes to ginger, even when stevia is involved. This is fantastic. It's got a decent burn, but the flavor doesn't suffer for it. It tastes like a perfect ginger ale with the heat turned way up. This is what I want from a ginger beer. In my younger years I just wanted heat and burn, now I still want that, but more so I want flavor, and this performs perfectly in both categories. The tiny bottle is a nice touch for those of us who are getting older and shouldn't drink nearly as much soda as we once did.

I really want the mango flavor in here to come from actual mango juice. It really tastes like it does, but it is simply not listed on the ingredients. If I were asked in a blind taste test, I would reply, with conviction, that this is mango juice mixed with an energy drink. At the point an alarm would sound announcing that I had lost. Did I not mention that I was on a game show in this scenario? Well, I was and I did not win any of the fabulous prizes. I went home with a belly full of artificial flavoring and corn syrup. Oh yeah, and nitrogenated water. I don't really know what that has to do with an energy drink, and the internet (aka the NOS website) was no help. I suspiciously think they did it just because of the company name and not for any performance reasons.

Mark, I was happy to come over and help you tear our your kitchen. I mean it's always great to help out a pal in order to save them some money. The thing is, this is day three of what was supposed to be a couple hour job. As I said, I'm happy to help out a friend, but I'm calling into work for this and old man Jenkins is getting pretty pissed, not to mention my paycheck is going to be light this week. I feel the need to mention that one jar of salsa and a bag of tortilla chips, does not really count as a meal, especially since you are a known salsa addict and eat 80% of it. The one thing I will say is that these energy drinks you picked up are pretty nice. Sure, you forgot to take the tag off of one of them and I see you picked them up at Big Lots for $.80 each, but I'm not one to care about cost, as long as the flavor is there. There is some taste here too. I'd say this is 20% kiwi melon, 70% apple, 5% sucralose, and 5% other. For something that is supposed to be carbonated kiwi melon green tea, it really tastes strongly of carbonated apple juice. That's not a complaint, more of an observation, so you can put down that pry bar. If you drink it while it's cold that artificial sweetener doesn't come through much, but the warmer it gets the more obvious it becomes. Overall it's pretty tasty and it's probably the thing I would complain about this situation the least. I'm hungry, jacked up on caffeine, and my body feels like it's breaking down. Why are there six different layers of flooring on top of the subfloor? Whoever owned this house before you was a real turd, you know that? By the way how much are you saving by us doing this work? $300?!?!?! Are you serious Mark? You know what? Screw you and screw your house and while you're at it screw your pittance of salsa. I'm taking the rest of this V8 I'm leaving. Yes, you will see me at Margret's on Saturday for Louie's birthday and yes I will have gotten over this by then, but as of now. You my friend are the turd.

I love green tea and I love Ito En (aka Matcha Love's parent company). It's hard to mess up green tea because of its wonderful simplicity, yet some “Big Tea” companies do just that and it's nothing but a letdown. This company, whether you think of it as Matcha Love or Ito En, does not mess around with their products. This is simply brewed green tea, with some matcha powder added, for some extra caffeine, and organic vanilla beans. The tea itself is great. It has that weird dryness that comes with green tea, which I find somehow rather delightful, and the flavor of the tea is right up front. I do wish the vanilla was stronger, because who doesn't want a weird vanilla tea? As it stands, it just floats around the background. You know it's there, but it lets the actual tea flavor shine. I suppose it's for the best. They are the professionals and I am but a lowly tea drinker who is sick of oversweetened, non-tea tasting teas.

What a way to kick off a ten degree day; a nice little black tea with some citric citrus going on up in there. It's all very lightly sweetened and lightly flavored and comes together into a nice lil' package. The black tea is a light to medium brew and the Valencia just an "orangish" flavor. I'm no orange connoisseur so it's "just" orange to me. It unfortunately doesn't come in a gallon jug because I could sit here and drink it all day. Sure I got it across the street from where I work but it took me an hour to drink this. If I'm at work for eight hours and this cost me around $2.50, that's going to cost me a Jackson per day. There are better ways to spend your money.

I was worried about this. I split it with a dude at work and warned him that this would be strong and wildly caffeinated. I was wrong. It's got me a little jittery, which is fine, but some of the other cold brew I have drank got me lit up. It also is not hard to drink. I have said many a time that I drink coffee like a child would, with chocolate syrup in it but for this review, I went straight. It was not bad at all. I spent an hour and a half in my car due to snow so it wasn't as cold as it could have been but not docking that, it was good. I would say that this being just a medium coffee with average caffeine makes it something I could easily and have easily made at home.

All that being said, a little carton of black cold brew is a nice thing to just be able to pick up and go.

The time is 9:03 AM. A half hour ago I drank Mountain Dew. If someone wants to drive me to an insane institution, I will happy enter myself into the system for a solid week. I could use it. This, friends, is a dumb product. It's Code Red with a "holiday blend." This tastes like a weaker Code Red. Maybe with more citrus. Nothing specifically "holiday" or "festive" about it, though. No cinnamon or nutmeg or bits of leaves or anything reminiscent of any sort of holiday flavors. What is the point of this? At least Pepsi Christmas or Holiday or Festive or whatever that is called has some sort of "holiday spice" to it. This is basically just Code Red "watered down" with 7-Up or something. Dumb. Way to go, America. You've been poisoned again by Mountain (Mitten) Dew.

What I have been drinking is possibly the least flavorful La Croix flavor. It stands tall with most other seltzer companies, but it doesn't have the strong flavor punch one comes to expect from this company. I had anticipated more from tangerine as it's a naturally strong flavor, but it just kind of hangs there like a sitcom will they won't they relationship.

If you are looking for a strong coffee drink, you might want to pass this one by. Since this boasts that it is made with two different types of coffee beans and is an espresso, there was no doubt in my mind that this was going to be coffee heavy. As it turns out it's more of a latte than any latte I have ever drunk. It tastes like someone maybe half a shot of coffee into a big glass of vanilla milk. I guess when a product ends up going from Aldi to Big Lots you probably shouldn't expect much from it. It gets a little less enticing with each sip as well. That could just be my distaste of milk though coloring my opinion. The can says it's rich and creamy. I guess being half right isn't all that bad.

Sap. I am drinking sap. It's not even sap from a maple tree. It's birch sap. I'm guessing drinking sap is something the majority of people in the United States would never imagine themselves doing, but it's a thing and it is apparently very popular in Scandinavia. When I was there I didn't see anyone drinking sap, but then again I wasn't looking for it. Here I am though sipping away at sap and it's not all that bad. It is very different tasting than maple, because you know different trees different tastes. It is somehow not syrupy, nor is it very sweet. Actually it pretty much has the consistency of water, which was unexpected. It is very refreshing and hydrating. I don't really know how to describe the flavor. I believe it is its own thing that has no real comparison. I can taste a light rosehips in here though. This is nothing what I expected, but it is a good thing. Give it a try and attempt to describe the flavor yourself.

Yep. Here's another great one. When I drink coffee, it's cold and has chocolate in it. This checks all those boxes. It's pretty smooth because it's got half and half in there, too. I typically wouldn't put cream in my coffee but let me tell you this, if someone served this to me as-is while I was lying scantily clad on the lido deck of a cruise ship, I would say, thank you, and tip him an appropriate amount of money. I'm no monster. A tip is not a tip unless it meets the criteria of "enough." Having never worked in a tip-reliant industry unless you count playing in a band that is willing to but doesn't receive tips, I don't know what it's like to get a bad, good or great tip.

Here's a tip (segue) buy yourself some of this. It's smooth and still has a great coffee flavor even with the cream and chocolate. Be a little childish. You like coffee like you like your men? I don't know how to get out of this. I'm in a corner now. I'll stay here for a while. At least I have this coff...and it's gone.

I've spent 38 years of my life thinking that I didn't really like coffee. I didn't hate it and I would drink it from time to time when I needed some caffeine. Hell, my high school years were spent sitting in diners for hours just downing overly sweetened and creamed endless cups of it, just because that was what my friends did back then. I had to add so much to it to make it so I could continue to drink it. It's a miracle that I'm not insanely over weight. In the past couple of years I've realized that coffee isn't all that bad if you're drinking the right stuff. There are some great blends/roasts out there that can be downright tasty, but mostly I'm talking about cold brew. There is something special about cold brew that cuts the acidity and just makes it such a smooth drink. Also, coffee is so much better cold that hot to my taste buds.

While the carton here describes the true meaning of the name Cultivo, I will pretend that it is referring to the cult of coffee drinkers. You know the people out there who absolutely need their coffee to function, and for some I'm not even sure it's due to the caffeine. People love coffee, and I think this product is here to indoctrinate new people into the cult by giving them smooth, delicious coffee to ease them in. This is exactly what the beverage is. It's high quality coffee that is nice and creamy from the half & half (I can even forgive the use of real milk here, which normally disgusts me). It's mildly sweet from the 9g of sugar in it, but they took care not to overdo it so that it is still mostly coffee and not a sugar drink.
It's no shock here that this is a brand of Uncommon Coffee Roasters aka the best coffee I have ever drunk. They are a high quality company with ethics I can get behind. If only all companies had similar beliefs and practices while making such high quality products the world would be a much better (caffeinated) place.

For a drink that expired six years ago from the Ukraine, this sexy pear drink wasn't too bad.

It's been a while since I've had some Ski. This tastes almost like a cherry limeade but without the "fancy" title. It has a decent cherry taste and then there is the mystery "citrus" flavor that twists it a little bit. I let a dude at work try it and he liked it so by all means that means that it can't be that bad.

There is not much to say. Honestly it's just a cherry pop. I wish I could make up a whimsical story about a dog saving a bird from a shark but I don't have it in me.

What we have here could only be described as a tasty seltzer water. What we also have here might be the weakest of the Seltzer'ade line. If this had been released as a normal Polar flavor I would have thought it was quite pleasant. It has a cherry flavor that doesn't remind me of medicine or black cherries, and that is always a plus. It also has a light subtle lime flavor to it, which makes a great base for any seltzer. The only problem is that by throwing that Seltzer'ade branding on it, my expectations are instantly raised. The rest of the flavors are incredibly strong and bold, this lacks in both of those. That by no means makes this a bad product, but it's just not worthy of the title (and additional price). If Polar were to put this exact same product in their normal bottles I would be more prone to purchase it again.

This looked like a dream. I wasn't even thirsty when I saw it in Whole Foods, but I had a Pavlovian response and there was no choice but for me to purchase it and try it immediately. Cinnamon iced tea with ginger in it sounded like exactly what I didn't know I was looking for. When I picked it up I could see the cinnamon swirling around in the tea and the mouthwatering increased. There was one thing that I didn't take into account though, and that is that cinnamon, and ginger to an extent, don't have the same effect without a little bit of sweetener added to them. This tastes like someone made some rooibos tea and while it was brewing through in some ground up cinnamon and ginger root. In fact that is exactly what happened and what it is. As anyone who has ever been dumb enough to take the cinnamon challenge can tell you, cinnamon has a drying effect. The way it's in the tea does make it feel oddly dry, and the ginger only shows p around the edges. I drink about a gallon of unsweetened tea a day, because I have no self-control, and I love the stuff. I'm at a point in my life now where sweetened tea tasted wrong a lot of the time. In this instance I think the tea could have benefited from just a touch of sugar, may be 10g in the entire bottle. It would have combated that dryness and pushed the cinnamon flavor forward a bit more. Again, this is just me searching for an ideal. As it is this tea is wonderful and I could happily drink a ton of it. Is a liquid ton a real thing?