United States - 4098 Reviews
Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Hazelnut Swirl
What better way to start off a week than with a kind of slimy sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant and an iced coffee drink? Well, for starters, don't get the croissant because you knew it wasn't going to be good and second don't start off by going to the police station to retrieve a police report on an accident you were in over the weekend. That's how. I suppose that this drink may make my week start off a little bit better. Why? Well, it's not too bad, that's why. It was also served with a smile that felt sincere so that always helps.
This drink? Much of the same but the hazelnut flavor was pretty prominent. No, it didn't taste like Nutella which is partially what I wanted it to taste like but it also didn't really taste like coffee too much either. I'm so/so on that one. I wish that I had gotten my iced fudge almond thing but I saw a new drink and had to review it. Such is my life, right? Was this good? Yeah. It was good but slushie drinks in the morning are kind of, well, gluttonous. It was sweet and cold. It would have made a nice closer to my day rather than an opener. I'm planning things all wrong today now that I'm finishing this review. I might be off on a bad foot.
This drink? Much of the same but the hazelnut flavor was pretty prominent. No, it didn't taste like Nutella which is partially what I wanted it to taste like but it also didn't really taste like coffee too much either. I'm so/so on that one. I wish that I had gotten my iced fudge almond thing but I saw a new drink and had to review it. Such is my life, right? Was this good? Yeah. It was good but slushie drinks in the morning are kind of, well, gluttonous. It was sweet and cold. It would have made a nice closer to my day rather than an opener. I'm planning things all wrong today now that I'm finishing this review. I might be off on a bad foot.
- Rating
- Categories
- Coffee
- Company
- Dunkin' Donuts — Website — @DunkinDonuts
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Not Listed
- Author
- Mike Literman on 8/11/14, 10:52 AM
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Zola Coconut Water
Shane, let's take a trip. You and I have been working hard and deserve a trip. Why do we work and save if we can't enjoy our savings? What inspired this? I drank some of this coconut water and now I've got a taste for the tropics. I want the sun. I want the sand. I want it all. I know it's not going to be a cheap trip but what's the fun of saving all that money and never spending it. I know you like to be cautious but there comes a time where you have to give in a little bit. Here, try some of this see if you can see where I'm coming from.
Can't you just taste the sunshine? It's great. Look. It's coconut water but that's all it is and I'm giving credit where credit's due. No preservatives. No sugar. No...I don't know…β¬Β¦enriched vitamins and minerals? I bet if I plucked a coconut off a tree and put it in the fridge and came back later, cracked it open and drank it, this is what it would taste like. It's a good coconut flavor with no bells and whistles.
What do you say? Should we book the trip? I think we should. No, not Florida, something sandier. More palm trees. Hawaii. Yeah. That's right. Let's go to all the scenes from Andy Sidaris movies.
Can't you just taste the sunshine? It's great. Look. It's coconut water but that's all it is and I'm giving credit where credit's due. No preservatives. No sugar. No...I don't know…β¬Β¦enriched vitamins and minerals? I bet if I plucked a coconut off a tree and put it in the fridge and came back later, cracked it open and drank it, this is what it would taste like. It's a good coconut flavor with no bells and whistles.
What do you say? Should we book the trip? I think we should. No, not Florida, something sandier. More palm trees. Hawaii. Yeah. That's right. Let's go to all the scenes from Andy Sidaris movies.
- Rating
- Categories
- Coconut
- Company
- Zola — Website — @drinkzola
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- No Sugar Added
- Author
- Mike Literman on 8/8/14, 2:44 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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Team Realtree Outdoor Energy Pink Lemonade
This is a beverage for all of those times that you find yourself in Innerspace/Fantastic Voyage type scenarios. You know something happens internally to someone and only you can be shrunk down to travel inside their person and right the wrongs of the human body. It may sound like a walk in the park, but there are anti-bodies in humans that simply do not like outsiders, they are kind of racist that way. In order to sneak by them we suggest that you drape yourself in pink real tree camo. It's the only appropriate attire for inter-body warfare.
Exploring the interworking of a human can take quite some time when you're that small. You need to be aware and alert the entire time, so why not down this energy drink that will blend right in with your camo. You can drink it while inside your friend and the antibodies will be none the wiser. Unfortunately convenience doesn't always taste the greatest. This is supposed to be pink lemonade flavored, but it just tastes like sweet lemon poison. It's one of those beverages that if you served to someone say 20 years ago they would have seriously thought you were serving them poison. As a species we've become so acclimated to the taste of energy drinks that we no longer remember how weird and kind of wrong they tasted the first time we tried them. This beverage has that weirdness turned up to ten. It's more chemical than lemonade. It's like they're not even trying to mask it.
I guess sacrifices must be made when you shrink yourself into a tiny person. Get in there save the day, come out through a nostril or ear and become the hero you were born to be. Just make sure not to leave your trash behind. That could wreak havoc on the person you're trying to save.
Exploring the interworking of a human can take quite some time when you're that small. You need to be aware and alert the entire time, so why not down this energy drink that will blend right in with your camo. You can drink it while inside your friend and the antibodies will be none the wiser. Unfortunately convenience doesn't always taste the greatest. This is supposed to be pink lemonade flavored, but it just tastes like sweet lemon poison. It's one of those beverages that if you served to someone say 20 years ago they would have seriously thought you were serving them poison. As a species we've become so acclimated to the taste of energy drinks that we no longer remember how weird and kind of wrong they tasted the first time we tried them. This beverage has that weirdness turned up to ten. It's more chemical than lemonade. It's like they're not even trying to mask it.
I guess sacrifices must be made when you shrink yourself into a tiny person. Get in there save the day, come out through a nostril or ear and become the hero you were born to be. Just make sure not to leave your trash behind. That could wreak havoc on the person you're trying to save.
- Rating
- Categories
- Energy Drink and Lemonade
- Company
- Team Realtree — Website — @Realtree
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Author
- Jason Draper on 8/8/14, 11:25 AM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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Sunny D X Energizing Lemon Lime
While Sunny D is fine for children to drink, I fully believe that it is completely unacceptable for adults to consume it. I didn't even realize I had that stance until I found this can of Sunny D X and realized that we had never reviewed the original. You know what, I'm fine with that.
I dreaded drinking this. It is the Dread Pirate Roberts of sparkling beverages. I expected it to be as thick as the original but with bubbles. I don't even know how you can carbonate something so thick, and I guess I never will as this is just slightly thicker than a normal pop. Actually everything I anticipated about this beverage was out the window” it wasn't thick, it isn't really an energy drink (it does have B vitamins in it though), and it didn't taste like the sludge I remember this company putting out.
Take a classic lemon lime soda and add a little bit more lime to it. Okay, now put in a little grapefruit for good measure. Actually you might as well throw in some orange and tangerine as well. Somehow the lemon and lime stay at the top and the rest of the fruits mingle in the background. They are just extras in this made for TV movie. Now add some bubbles and the result is shockingly pretty decent. For some reason it almost has a malt taste to it, which I don't understand, but I don't hate. Actually I kind of enjoy it way more than I feel comfortable admitting. I mean I'm still not going to go back and try the fake juice original version, but this is something I would possibly drink again. It's too bad the can looks so budget though. It looks like a beverage you would find at the Dollar Store.
I dreaded drinking this. It is the Dread Pirate Roberts of sparkling beverages. I expected it to be as thick as the original but with bubbles. I don't even know how you can carbonate something so thick, and I guess I never will as this is just slightly thicker than a normal pop. Actually everything I anticipated about this beverage was out the window” it wasn't thick, it isn't really an energy drink (it does have B vitamins in it though), and it didn't taste like the sludge I remember this company putting out.
Take a classic lemon lime soda and add a little bit more lime to it. Okay, now put in a little grapefruit for good measure. Actually you might as well throw in some orange and tangerine as well. Somehow the lemon and lime stay at the top and the rest of the fruits mingle in the background. They are just extras in this made for TV movie. Now add some bubbles and the result is shockingly pretty decent. For some reason it almost has a malt taste to it, which I don't understand, but I don't hate. Actually I kind of enjoy it way more than I feel comfortable admitting. I mean I'm still not going to go back and try the fake juice original version, but this is something I would possibly drink again. It's too bad the can looks so budget though. It looks like a beverage you would find at the Dollar Store.
- Rating
- Company
- Sunny D — Website — @sunnydelight
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucrose
- Author
- Jason Draper on 8/7/14, 12:20 PM
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True Solution Nutrition Shake Chocolate
You know what? We don't have time to work out today, Fred. Let's just drink these protein drinks and play video games instead. No, I know you have a routine and today was "legs" but you can do legs tomorrow. Today we've got things to do in this game. It's raining and I don't want to go outside. I bought these the other day and thought that we could load up on the necessary proteins that we need to get ripped.
Fred...this is strange. Does it taste like if you ate a crayon and it tasted like chocolate? I mean, it's not too gritty and it's pretty smooth, the way I like a chocolate milk to be but something in here is throwing me off. No, I didn't mean...Fred. I didn't mean throw me off the cliff in this game. You're wasting my guys. I know we used cheat codes for infinite guys but it's still annoying.
What is it in this drink? I mean we've been drinking it for ten minutes and it was pretty decent when it started but as it began to warm up, it got a little strange. You can taste the Stevia more and it regrows the "bad protein" flavors back that it didn't have when it was really cold. If "new car chocolate" was a flavor, this would be it.
Stop throwing me off cliffs, Fred! I guess I deserve it since I'm just talking about this drink and not crushing guys like you. How did you get so good at this game? Have I been talking for that long? Man, I must be in the zone, chief.
Fred...this is strange. Does it taste like if you ate a crayon and it tasted like chocolate? I mean, it's not too gritty and it's pretty smooth, the way I like a chocolate milk to be but something in here is throwing me off. No, I didn't mean...Fred. I didn't mean throw me off the cliff in this game. You're wasting my guys. I know we used cheat codes for infinite guys but it's still annoying.
What is it in this drink? I mean we've been drinking it for ten minutes and it was pretty decent when it started but as it began to warm up, it got a little strange. You can taste the Stevia more and it regrows the "bad protein" flavors back that it didn't have when it was really cold. If "new car chocolate" was a flavor, this would be it.
Stop throwing me off cliffs, Fred! I guess I deserve it since I'm just talking about this drink and not crushing guys like you. How did you get so good at this game? Have I been talking for that long? Man, I must be in the zone, chief.
- Rating
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Company
- True Solution — Website
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 8/6/14, 3:45 PM
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Aquadopa Beyond Energy
So I'm out hanging out with these guys I met at a They Might Be Giants concert in `96. Back then we were just kids, but now they have grown into full blown scientists. I know, it's not very shocking that TMBG fans would become scientists. Anyway I ran into them at this bar and we're out for the night if you know what I mean. Oh you don't, I mean they took me under their wing and we hit the bar trivia circuit and we hit it hard. These guys were maniacs, going for the gold in every saloon we entered. Around 2am, I started to falter. It was a long day and I'm not used to being up that late. Suddenly one of the guys passes me this can under the table and says it's the science energy drink. It's made from herbs and it helps to improve focus, motivation and drive, not just jack you up and give you the jitters like that gas station junk. I guess they had secretly been downing them all night. He said for me to sneak off to the bathroom and down it in the stall; it would help me to concentrate on the trivia.
So I do as he says, and I have to tell you I think the guys might have been playing a joke on me. You see the only thing this drink helped me focus on was how gross it tasted. As soon as I popped the can the air was filled with what I can only describe as a sour coffee smell. Actually I can tell you that it smells exactly like someone spilled an entire iced coffee all over them and then went into Subway to clean it up. That weird non-bread bread smell and old gross coffee have no business mingling together, yet that is what I feel is happening in my nasal passage. I was disgusted and I hadn't even tasted it yet.
Once I finally managed to bring myself to drink it the old coffee flavor was definitely there, but unfortunately it wasn't alone. It brought along some friends. It tasted like what I imagined green tea soda from a gun at a bar would taste like; fake, watered down and syrupy all at the same time. Oh did I mention that the tea was very heavily flavored with ginseng? You know that root that tastes just like dirt? So we have all of that mixed together, and it might not have been all that terrible, but then hidden underneath it all was this weird fruity flavor that derailed any hope for a decent drink. Oh top off all that it was harsh on the throat.
I drank as much of the can as I could stand and then I realized that this night wasn't even fun. I just got swept up in the glamor of science, and why was I paying for all the drinks? I slam dunked the can in the trash and left by the back door. Remember as a rule, don't trust They Might Be Giants fans who only like the goofy educational songs.
So I do as he says, and I have to tell you I think the guys might have been playing a joke on me. You see the only thing this drink helped me focus on was how gross it tasted. As soon as I popped the can the air was filled with what I can only describe as a sour coffee smell. Actually I can tell you that it smells exactly like someone spilled an entire iced coffee all over them and then went into Subway to clean it up. That weird non-bread bread smell and old gross coffee have no business mingling together, yet that is what I feel is happening in my nasal passage. I was disgusted and I hadn't even tasted it yet.
Once I finally managed to bring myself to drink it the old coffee flavor was definitely there, but unfortunately it wasn't alone. It brought along some friends. It tasted like what I imagined green tea soda from a gun at a bar would taste like; fake, watered down and syrupy all at the same time. Oh did I mention that the tea was very heavily flavored with ginseng? You know that root that tastes just like dirt? So we have all of that mixed together, and it might not have been all that terrible, but then hidden underneath it all was this weird fruity flavor that derailed any hope for a decent drink. Oh top off all that it was harsh on the throat.
I drank as much of the can as I could stand and then I realized that this night wasn't even fun. I just got swept up in the glamor of science, and why was I paying for all the drinks? I slam dunked the can in the trash and left by the back door. Remember as a rule, don't trust They Might Be Giants fans who only like the goofy educational songs.
- Rating
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 8/5/14, 8:13 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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Arizona Juice Cocktail Sweet Apple
Ladies and Gentlemen, We have done it. We have compressed all that you love about apples and turned it into a liquid that closely resembles that of its original, solid form. Please hold for applause. We have some more explaining to do. We've taken apples, actual apples and compressed them down until their poor skins cannot contain their contents any longer and when that happened, we compressed even more to release the sweet nectar of the apple. Then we added a little bit of sugar, you know, for fun.
Now, and only until now, can you applaud and get in line to shake the hand at the scientists that we gave massive amounts of money at to develop this master beverage. Why isn't anyone clamoring to allow these scientists, these masters of men, to impregnate their wives and determine the worthiness of their very being? I'm sorry sir, what did you say? Apple juice exists? Surely you jest. This has never been done before. What do you mean that baby has some? Baby, come here. Give me your bottle. Oh, you're very cute. Thank you. I promise I will not drink your entire bottle. I am a scientist, not a monster.
Huh. Well. This is a bit humiliating. It appears that this drink which you peasants call "apple juice" does exist and is readily available. It appears we have not only wasted your time calling you out of your homes and work, but have also wasted tens of thousands of dollars on developing something that all of you are more than familiar with. Perhaps us scientists should stop working in caves and go outside into the sunshine and fraternize with the people to find out what they really want. Our bad.
Now, and only until now, can you applaud and get in line to shake the hand at the scientists that we gave massive amounts of money at to develop this master beverage. Why isn't anyone clamoring to allow these scientists, these masters of men, to impregnate their wives and determine the worthiness of their very being? I'm sorry sir, what did you say? Apple juice exists? Surely you jest. This has never been done before. What do you mean that baby has some? Baby, come here. Give me your bottle. Oh, you're very cute. Thank you. I promise I will not drink your entire bottle. I am a scientist, not a monster.
Huh. Well. This is a bit humiliating. It appears that this drink which you peasants call "apple juice" does exist and is readily available. It appears we have not only wasted your time calling you out of your homes and work, but have also wasted tens of thousands of dollars on developing something that all of you are more than familiar with. Perhaps us scientists should stop working in caves and go outside into the sunshine and fraternize with the people to find out what they really want. Our bad.
- Rating
- Categories
- Juice
- Company
- Arizona — Website — @DrinkAriZona
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Author
- Mike Literman on 8/5/14, 2:34 PM
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Dublin Cherry Limeade
Dublin is famous for many things. Mostly all I care about are bands from there; U2, Thin Lizzy and My Bloody Valentine to name a few. I once played an insane house show in that very Irish city, where kids were literally spilling out of windows. Dublin is also the home of the first bottling of Dr. Pepper. Oh wait, that is a completely different city, in a completely different country. For years when people talked about Dublin Dr. Pepper I really thought that it was made in Ireland. As it turns out it was made in a little town in Texas, until the higher ups at Dr. Pepper shut down production due to breach of contract (I believe). It's a shame because I know a lot of people really loved the cane sugar version in the glass bottle. One such person is Cassandra Peterson (aka Elvira) who wrote a nice eulogy of the soda for us.
To be honest I didn't even know the plant was still in operation. I certainly had no idea that they had their own line of sodas. I figured they were a bottler for Snapple or something. I'm glad they kept going because I am one for tradition and my ladyfriend will sigh and vouch that I am not one for change. This company has been bottling soda since the late 1800s, and that is awesomely ridiculous.
As a nod to the old days this bottle has a nice retro look. I feel dirty for typing those words because most things that are described as retro end up being cheap and not worth anyone's time. This though, this is a nice look for a classic soda flavor. Actually I don't know if Cherry Limeade is in fact a classic flavor, but it always seemed like something that should be available at the soda shoppe. If you're not familiar with the flavor, the name says it all. It's like a sparkling lemonade (made with limes instead of lemons) with cherry syrup mixed in. It's like a Shirley Temple without the lemon in the lemon-lime base. This may not taste like real fruit, but I don't think I would even want it to. There are some flavors of soda that should be straight up sugary sweet and syrupy. This is one of them, and Dublin has done it right.
To be honest I didn't even know the plant was still in operation. I certainly had no idea that they had their own line of sodas. I figured they were a bottler for Snapple or something. I'm glad they kept going because I am one for tradition and my ladyfriend will sigh and vouch that I am not one for change. This company has been bottling soda since the late 1800s, and that is awesomely ridiculous.
As a nod to the old days this bottle has a nice retro look. I feel dirty for typing those words because most things that are described as retro end up being cheap and not worth anyone's time. This though, this is a nice look for a classic soda flavor. Actually I don't know if Cherry Limeade is in fact a classic flavor, but it always seemed like something that should be available at the soda shoppe. If you're not familiar with the flavor, the name says it all. It's like a sparkling lemonade (made with limes instead of lemons) with cherry syrup mixed in. It's like a Shirley Temple without the lemon in the lemon-lime base. This may not taste like real fruit, but I don't think I would even want it to. There are some flavors of soda that should be straight up sugary sweet and syrupy. This is one of them, and Dublin has done it right.
- Rating
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Company
- Dublin — Website — @DublinBottling
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 8/4/14, 9:49 PM
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7 Eleven Mexican Hot Chocolate
I am aware of the fact that this is a tremendously generic photo and there is nothing I can do about that short of take a picture of the dispenser I received the drink from. Taking that with a grain of salt, this drink is better than you would presume. It is slightly spicy like you would expect a Mexican Hot Chocolate. If you haven't had it, please find some. It is hot chocolate, which is delicious, mixed with some spices like cinnamon and some peppers so it's equal parts spicy and herby. Herby? Eh, I'll accept it.
Another little tidbit of information that you might like to know is that society and generosity is not dead. Why would drinking a Mexican hot cocoa mean that? It doesn't. What does is that I forgot my wallet and was about to dump this down the drain along with my limited amount of happiness but a woman at the counter saw me do "the pat" against my pants and knew what was up. She bought it for me and I was eternally grateful. Seriously, I do nice things for you people all the time and it rarely comes back. I don't ask for it, but I'm silently counting to myself and the chart points at me being a real super guy and you at being the equivalent of human garbage.
Another little tidbit of information that you might like to know is that society and generosity is not dead. Why would drinking a Mexican hot cocoa mean that? It doesn't. What does is that I forgot my wallet and was about to dump this down the drain along with my limited amount of happiness but a woman at the counter saw me do "the pat" against my pants and knew what was up. She bought it for me and I was eternally grateful. Seriously, I do nice things for you people all the time and it rarely comes back. I don't ask for it, but I'm silently counting to myself and the chart points at me being a real super guy and you at being the equivalent of human garbage.
- Rating
- Categories
- Milk
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Not Listed
- Author
- Mike Literman on 8/4/14, 1:28 PM
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Dose Basic Line B-Carotene (Orange)
Every wonder why fruits and vegetables are different colors? Of course you haven't because we are adults, who don't have the curiosity of children and such things play no part in our everyday lives. I for one do not think I have ever contemplated such a thing, but I have just learned that beta-carotene is what gives carrots, pumpkins, sweet potatoes and other reddish orange vegetables their color. For some reason knowing that gives me a satisfied feeling. Of course I'm still a dumb adult and won't further look into other hues of food, but for now I'm feeling okay.
Dose, with their logo that I can't get enough of for its simplicity, has created a line of vitamin based shot beverages to help people live a healthier lifestyle. Instead of taking a whole mess of pill vitamins in the morning you can just down one of these pleasant tasting 5oz beverages. Each can contains the equivalent to a handful of various pills that will no longer get caught in your throat when you try to take them without enough water. In a world of fast food and fast living more people than I would care to admit would benefit greatly from these. In addition to the B-Carotene the drinker also gets their daily dose of iron as well as vitamins E and C.
Due to the fact that all I knew about Beta-Carotene going into this endeavor was that it was in carrots and it helped with eyesight (it apparently has a whole mess of other benefits as well), I full expected this to have a carrot taste to it, even though it's labeled orange. I prepared my taste buds for a combination of those two flavors, but all I got was orange that reminded me of Tang, which is not a bad thing. In fact there is no orange listed in the ingredients list. There is apple juice though, and now that I know that I can totally pick it out. It's what's giving this the not quite real orange flavor. Again, I'm not complaining. I actually enjoy it; I'm just trying to explain it for you to the best of my ability. It is a slightly odd flavor choice as it says not to give it to children, and it tastes like a healthier kids drink to me. Oh well vitamins for all!!! (except children and pregnant women, they get to suffer from malnourishment).
Dose, with their logo that I can't get enough of for its simplicity, has created a line of vitamin based shot beverages to help people live a healthier lifestyle. Instead of taking a whole mess of pill vitamins in the morning you can just down one of these pleasant tasting 5oz beverages. Each can contains the equivalent to a handful of various pills that will no longer get caught in your throat when you try to take them without enough water. In a world of fast food and fast living more people than I would care to admit would benefit greatly from these. In addition to the B-Carotene the drinker also gets their daily dose of iron as well as vitamins E and C.
Due to the fact that all I knew about Beta-Carotene going into this endeavor was that it was in carrots and it helped with eyesight (it apparently has a whole mess of other benefits as well), I full expected this to have a carrot taste to it, even though it's labeled orange. I prepared my taste buds for a combination of those two flavors, but all I got was orange that reminded me of Tang, which is not a bad thing. In fact there is no orange listed in the ingredients list. There is apple juice though, and now that I know that I can totally pick it out. It's what's giving this the not quite real orange flavor. Again, I'm not complaining. I actually enjoy it; I'm just trying to explain it for you to the best of my ability. It is a slightly odd flavor choice as it says not to give it to children, and it tastes like a healthier kids drink to me. Oh well vitamins for all!!! (except children and pregnant women, they get to suffer from malnourishment).
- Rating
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 8/4/14, 10:21 AM
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Hey Mama! Tea For Mommies Pomegranate Blueberry Herbal Iced Tea
Yesterday my sister had a baby. Not like she had a baby over to visit, I mean she gave birth to a little girl. To celebrate this I decided to drink this bottle of Hey Mama! iced tea. Then through the use of some sort of dark arts I shall transfer all benefits this would normally give a new mom to her, you know using bloodlines and such. That's how these things work right?
This tea in particular is supposed to aid with lactation. It also has a large heap of chamomile in it to help the new mother calm down and just relax a bit. There are vaguely strange things for an iced tea to promise but if it's what the mothers need, it's what they'll get.
Let me state that I bought this tea on accident. I mean I intentionally purchased it, but I was in a haze of buying dozens of drinks in bodegas in NYC. Manhattan and Brooklyn are hotspots for new drinks. In a world where it's rare that I come across something we haven't already reviewed I felt like I was drowning in a sea of wonderful beverages and my bank account was draining. I would go into the coolers and just grab anything we hadn't reviewed yet. I registered that this was a tea that we had not reviewed so I bought it. I didn't notice that it was specifically for mothers, not that it would have stopped me. What would have potentially stopped me was the price. It looked like it said $1.99, but it actually said $4.99. A hefty price for a tea, but once I realized it was brewed for a specific reason I understood, even if I think it was still a tad pricey.
Enough rambling, on with the taste. This tastes like someone started to brew some root beer from scratch, but only put in half the ingredients, leaving out the wintergreen, vanilla and sarsaparilla. Instead they replaced them with pomegranate and blueberry and doubled the amount of licorice. It tastes like a fruity, woodsy concoction, meaning that it tastes like someone soaked wood (specifically licorice switches) in a pot of juice. It's unusual, but not unpleasant. If you don't like fennel/licorice I wouldn't immediately write this off. It doesn't taste like black licorice or black jelly beans. It has a much milder flavor that tastes completely natural. It's not something I would drink on the regular, but I could see myself enjoying it from time to time. The chamomile really does calm you down a bit as well.
Okay I might as well say it, no I did not experience any lactation being a male, who is obviously never had a child. For thinking that you are in fact the child though, but so are we on this end because we joked about it and giggled a lot. Now on to the vitamin transference.
This tea in particular is supposed to aid with lactation. It also has a large heap of chamomile in it to help the new mother calm down and just relax a bit. There are vaguely strange things for an iced tea to promise but if it's what the mothers need, it's what they'll get.
Let me state that I bought this tea on accident. I mean I intentionally purchased it, but I was in a haze of buying dozens of drinks in bodegas in NYC. Manhattan and Brooklyn are hotspots for new drinks. In a world where it's rare that I come across something we haven't already reviewed I felt like I was drowning in a sea of wonderful beverages and my bank account was draining. I would go into the coolers and just grab anything we hadn't reviewed yet. I registered that this was a tea that we had not reviewed so I bought it. I didn't notice that it was specifically for mothers, not that it would have stopped me. What would have potentially stopped me was the price. It looked like it said $1.99, but it actually said $4.99. A hefty price for a tea, but once I realized it was brewed for a specific reason I understood, even if I think it was still a tad pricey.
Enough rambling, on with the taste. This tastes like someone started to brew some root beer from scratch, but only put in half the ingredients, leaving out the wintergreen, vanilla and sarsaparilla. Instead they replaced them with pomegranate and blueberry and doubled the amount of licorice. It tastes like a fruity, woodsy concoction, meaning that it tastes like someone soaked wood (specifically licorice switches) in a pot of juice. It's unusual, but not unpleasant. If you don't like fennel/licorice I wouldn't immediately write this off. It doesn't taste like black licorice or black jelly beans. It has a much milder flavor that tastes completely natural. It's not something I would drink on the regular, but I could see myself enjoying it from time to time. The chamomile really does calm you down a bit as well.
Okay I might as well say it, no I did not experience any lactation being a male, who is obviously never had a child. For thinking that you are in fact the child though, but so are we on this end because we joked about it and giggled a lot. Now on to the vitamin transference.
- Rating
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Company
- Hey Mama! — Website — @HeyMamaTeas
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 8/3/14, 10:48 AM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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Sprizz-O Juice & Seltzer Water Grapefruit
With a name like Sprizz-O for a beverage that boasts to be “Juice & Seltzer Water” I would expect simplicity. In my head its creation would go something along the lines of putting juice in a glass and adding just a spritz of seltzer water to give it some carbonation. That it's that's all that would go into it, and you know what it would be great. Sure in this instance it would be sour because of the grapefruit juice and a tad bitter because of the seltzer water, but it would be pure and simple. It would be something to embrace. Unfortunately, most of the world would not share in my jubilation for such a beverage, and Sprizz-O knows it. As a result they included sugar into the mix to tame the sour/bitter taste that nature had intended.
I can't blame them. They are a business and I'm sure they will sell way more bottles this way instead of the way I envisioned. To be fair they also only added minimal sugar (9g), and you still get most of the sourness from the grapefruit. They added just enough to take a bit of the edge off. It's not ideal for one such as me, but it's close enough that I can't complain. So ignore everything I wrote previously. This is a great sparkling beverage that more people should replace their normal soda intake with.
I can't blame them. They are a business and I'm sure they will sell way more bottles this way instead of the way I envisioned. To be fair they also only added minimal sugar (9g), and you still get most of the sourness from the grapefruit. They added just enough to take a bit of the edge off. It's not ideal for one such as me, but it's close enough that I can't complain. So ignore everything I wrote previously. This is a great sparkling beverage that more people should replace their normal soda intake with.
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- Sprizz-O — Website — @SirSprizzO
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 8/2/14, 12:12 PM
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True Solution Nutrition Shake Vanilla
When you've forsworn soy and dairy where is one to turn for protein based nutrition shakes? Why would you avoid such things? Oh I don't know, maybe a little thing called allergies, or perhaps a moral stance? Either way, those people exist in the world, and they need some protein after a workout just like the rest of us. True Solution is here to help those people out. They have developed a nutrition shake that derives its protein from peas and rice. I have no idea there was protein in peas. I guess that dumb, smelly vegetable had to be good for something. Luckily their gross taste isn't noticeable in the beverage. You can definitely taste rice though, but I'm not complaining. Actually the rice flavor is as potent as the vanilla, if not more. Who hates rice though? It's the water of food stuffs. It also cuts down on the grittiness that is common in protein based drinks.
In addition to the protein there are also 23 vitamins and minerals packed into this little carton to help in recovery and to just improve your life and diet. You know you've been slacking on your diet and every little bit helps.
Overall this tastes like a sweetened vanilla rice beverage with a tad bit of stevia in it. When it's nice and cold that flavor is masked, but if you take too long sipping your shake it starts to come out more and more until it leaves you with a weird gross aftertaste. You deserve to enjoy your beverage, so drink fast my friends.
In addition to the protein there are also 23 vitamins and minerals packed into this little carton to help in recovery and to just improve your life and diet. You know you've been slacking on your diet and every little bit helps.
Overall this tastes like a sweetened vanilla rice beverage with a tad bit of stevia in it. When it's nice and cold that flavor is masked, but if you take too long sipping your shake it starts to come out more and more until it leaves you with a weird gross aftertaste. You deserve to enjoy your beverage, so drink fast my friends.
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- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Company
- True Solution — Website
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 8/1/14, 4:59 PM
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Teany Green Tea Half and Half
Dude, are you going to the EDM festival at the abandoned amusement park across the country? You're not? That's dumb. It's only $350 plus airfare plus you get to sleep in a cold field with like thirty thousand other people who won't shower for four days. You get to eat carnival food, pay eleven dollars for a small bottled water, and see four really good acts, ten good acts, sixteen acceptable acts and fourty-eight terrible acts. You know who's going to be there? Moby. He's coming out of hibernation.
I can't believe it. After that fantastic sales approach I just gave you, you are going to stay where you are? Moby is in your house? After all these years you didn't tell me that he's coming over? I've got a fresh copy of "Play" on vinyl I'd love to have him sign. He's in your fridge? Dude you are getting weird. Oh, it's his tea. Now we're back to a regular comfort level. How is it? Good? It's a half and half? It's a half and half green tea? Oh, that's cool. And it's sweet? How sweet? Not that sweet? Moby: good at music and good at tea. He's the modern day Renaissance Man. I bet he can fix a car. He seems like the kind of dude that could secretly fix a car. So it's a half and half; go on. It has a slight lemonade taste with no pulp but a good bite. That sounds awesome.
You know what, man. I don't have a lot of money saved up. Maybe we can just get a case of this stuff, put on some Music for the Jiltered Generation, and just play video games rather than me go to that festival. Sure, it would be fun but I don't have the time or the money for that thing.
I can't believe it. After that fantastic sales approach I just gave you, you are going to stay where you are? Moby is in your house? After all these years you didn't tell me that he's coming over? I've got a fresh copy of "Play" on vinyl I'd love to have him sign. He's in your fridge? Dude you are getting weird. Oh, it's his tea. Now we're back to a regular comfort level. How is it? Good? It's a half and half? It's a half and half green tea? Oh, that's cool. And it's sweet? How sweet? Not that sweet? Moby: good at music and good at tea. He's the modern day Renaissance Man. I bet he can fix a car. He seems like the kind of dude that could secretly fix a car. So it's a half and half; go on. It has a slight lemonade taste with no pulp but a good bite. That sounds awesome.
You know what, man. I don't have a lot of money saved up. Maybe we can just get a case of this stuff, put on some Music for the Jiltered Generation, and just play video games rather than me go to that festival. Sure, it would be fun but I don't have the time or the money for that thing.
- Rating
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Natural Evaporated Sugar Cane
- Author
- Mike Literman on 7/31/14, 5:30 PM
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Snapple All Natural Straight Up Tea
I think it might be a stone cold fact that every American elderly woman who was a grandmother in the late 80's/early 90's drank Red Rose tea. Mine certainly did and everyone I've questioned about it came back with an affirmative response. Red Rose ruled the tea world at that time, and as an added bonus, the boxes came with little animal (Wade) figurines, which were nice for the grandchildren; everyone was a winner.
As I drank this tea all I could think of was Red Rose. This tastes exactly like how my grandmother's tea would taste cold. It's a nice black tea with a bit of sugar in it. It's actually probably about a spoonful. This is a nice genuine tea. It's not particularly fancy, but it's just black tea and sugar with a little citric acid in it. I've had many a cup of tea in my life from all sorts of companies, and this has the very specific Red Rose taste. I had other try this to confirm my thoughts and we all agreed. So where …β¬Λs my little figurine?
As I drank this tea all I could think of was Red Rose. This tastes exactly like how my grandmother's tea would taste cold. It's a nice black tea with a bit of sugar in it. It's actually probably about a spoonful. This is a nice genuine tea. It's not particularly fancy, but it's just black tea and sugar with a little citric acid in it. I've had many a cup of tea in my life from all sorts of companies, and this has the very specific Red Rose taste. I had other try this to confirm my thoughts and we all agreed. So where …β¬Λs my little figurine?
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- Iced Tea
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- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
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- Jason Draper on 7/31/14, 4:13 PM
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Brisk Iced Tea Mango Flavor
I'm pretty sure that if I was at some sort of gathering for my ladyfriend's family/friends and I was given this to drink, I would lean over and whisper/plead in her ear “Do I have to?” It would be an honest question as well, because I have no concept of how far I have to take social niceties so that I don't seem like a complete mutant. I don't often interact with “normal people” or grownups (yes I know I'm 35, but I swear I'm still a kid), and as a result I don't know how to properly act around them and I have a tendency to anger people or make them feel uncomfortable. So when someone hands you an iced tea by a company who doesn't have a great track record (and you've already turned down their offers for beer and other alcoholic beverages several times), can you say no thank you, or do you just accept it with a smile?
I will say that had I accepted with a smile, I wouldn't have been terribly disappointed. This is lacking the harshness that normally accompanies the Brisk name. It's also sweetened by a mixture of high fructose corn syrup and sucralose, which makes it more palatable. I mean sure it still tastes more like sweetened liquid than it does actual tea, but would you expect anything different?
There is no real mango in here, but it still mimics the taste at least slightly. I have to admit that this is the most reserved flavor of Brisk I have yet to encounter. Nothing is blasting you in the face. It's pretty calm on all fronts. It's still not great, but it's something I can sip on without grumbling too many complaints.
I will say that had I accepted with a smile, I wouldn't have been terribly disappointed. This is lacking the harshness that normally accompanies the Brisk name. It's also sweetened by a mixture of high fructose corn syrup and sucralose, which makes it more palatable. I mean sure it still tastes more like sweetened liquid than it does actual tea, but would you expect anything different?
There is no real mango in here, but it still mimics the taste at least slightly. I have to admit that this is the most reserved flavor of Brisk I have yet to encounter. Nothing is blasting you in the face. It's pretty calm on all fronts. It's still not great, but it's something I can sip on without grumbling too many complaints.
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- Iced Tea
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
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- Jason Draper on 7/31/14, 3:09 PM
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Power Crunch Blast Double Chocolate
Dear readers, I was certainly not ready for today. Not ready at all. You see I go to the gym three times a week, and I have my little routine I do. It's a solitary thing that I do whilst listening to the Jen Kirkman and Julie Klausner podcasts. I've been doing it for probably about two years now. I saw the results I wanted early on, and now I'm just kind of maintaining that. Being a gentleman of 35 years I can no longer eat what I want all the time and just let my metabolism do its thing. It's fine, I actually enjoy it. Well today I ran into a friend there who is into weight lifting and I joined him and his cohort in their routine. I kept up way better than I expected and I was proud of myself. I felt worn out but good as I left the gym. It's now about two hours later and I am destroyed. It takes effort to lift my arms over my head. Tomorrow is not going to be a fun day, and I see myself getting zero work done at the print shop. It's going to be a nightmare. Seriously we did more/different exercises than I'm used to, but I didn't it were that crazy.
As things would have it, we recently received a box of these protein drinks in the mail, so what better time to down one then now? Power Crunch, who is known for their protein bars, has expanded their reach into ready to drink shakes. They've done something with these shakes that I have never come across before. It has 20g of protein in it, but it doesn't have the thick, grittiness to it that every other protein shake has. I shook the hell out of the bottle and the first sip was pretty close to what I would expect, but after that it's consistency was closer to water than anything else. It was strange, but nice for those of us who get a little skeeved out by the grit.
I don't know where the double chocolate comes into play here as all I see is cocoa on the ingredients list, but the chocolate flavor is does has is nice. It tastes like it was made from a decent bar of the good dark stuff, and not some garbage low grade filth that most chocolate drinks use. In fact the only downfall of this drink was that it was flavored with sucralose, but its inclusion is completely understandable, as this is for when you work out, and who wants to be downing real sugar then?
Okay, now I have to drag myself to band practice and hope I have the strength to play my bass. I'm such a child.
As things would have it, we recently received a box of these protein drinks in the mail, so what better time to down one then now? Power Crunch, who is known for their protein bars, has expanded their reach into ready to drink shakes. They've done something with these shakes that I have never come across before. It has 20g of protein in it, but it doesn't have the thick, grittiness to it that every other protein shake has. I shook the hell out of the bottle and the first sip was pretty close to what I would expect, but after that it's consistency was closer to water than anything else. It was strange, but nice for those of us who get a little skeeved out by the grit.
I don't know where the double chocolate comes into play here as all I see is cocoa on the ingredients list, but the chocolate flavor is does has is nice. It tastes like it was made from a decent bar of the good dark stuff, and not some garbage low grade filth that most chocolate drinks use. In fact the only downfall of this drink was that it was flavored with sucralose, but its inclusion is completely understandable, as this is for when you work out, and who wants to be downing real sugar then?
Okay, now I have to drag myself to band practice and hope I have the strength to play my bass. I'm such a child.
- Rating
- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Company
- Power Crunch — Website — @PowerCrunchBar
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Author
- Jason Draper on 7/30/14, 6:39 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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Dose Basic Line Magnesium (Mango)
Never in my life have I said, "I need more magnesium." I'm not a heath teacher so I'm not entirely sure what magnesium does. Is it good that I have increased my intake to the maximum required daily dose in such a short period of time? Is something going to happen to me? Something good, I hope. Titanium and palladium kind of sounds like magnesium. Perhaps I'll become like a poor man's Midas where everything I touch turns to a cool metal.
Atop becoming the man behind the silvers, this drink also provides me with a pretty good mango flavor but in small doses. There is a strongness that this drink has and it's not the flavor. The flavor is good. As far as mango drinks go, this is great. There is something else in there that tastes both sour and sweet. It is completely drinkable, let it be known, but it is not going to go without a solid amount of "jazz faces."
If you don't play an instrument and feel the need to make a jazz face, this is the drink for you. If you know what magnesium does and you feel the need to get more of it, this is the drink for you. If you like mango and still like to see what happens when you bite into a lemon, you guessed it. This is the drink for you. Plus it comes in an adorable five ounce metal can and that is pretty cool. What isn't cool is that this is a supplement drink so to get the full effect, you would probably have to drink a regiment of these and that could get costly. If you, for some strange reason, need an instant dose to put you over the top of your magnesium quota, it's there for you.
Atop becoming the man behind the silvers, this drink also provides me with a pretty good mango flavor but in small doses. There is a strongness that this drink has and it's not the flavor. The flavor is good. As far as mango drinks go, this is great. There is something else in there that tastes both sour and sweet. It is completely drinkable, let it be known, but it is not going to go without a solid amount of "jazz faces."
If you don't play an instrument and feel the need to make a jazz face, this is the drink for you. If you know what magnesium does and you feel the need to get more of it, this is the drink for you. If you like mango and still like to see what happens when you bite into a lemon, you guessed it. This is the drink for you. Plus it comes in an adorable five ounce metal can and that is pretty cool. What isn't cool is that this is a supplement drink so to get the full effect, you would probably have to drink a regiment of these and that could get costly. If you, for some strange reason, need an instant dose to put you over the top of your magnesium quota, it's there for you.
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- Categories
- Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Crystalline Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 7/30/14, 12:44 PM
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OrganicMe FocusMe Citrus Berry
At first, I had to double check this because it smells like something alcoholic. It also is deceiving since it tastes half as strong as it smells. I'm trying to come up with an example of something that is half as strong as it smells and it's a really gross thought. Someone must be really smelly or really weak to have that ratio work.
Citrus Berry? Alright. It should be switched since it's berrier than it is citrus but it's all there so I'm not complaining. It's lightly carbonated, too and isn't too bad. It's considered a "Focus" drink but it's giving me the jitters like an energy drink would. Do people take cocaine to concentrate? Isn't that an "upper?" Shouldn't weed help you concentrate since you are calm? I don't know anything. I do know that although I might be cranking through this review because my hands are moving faster than my mind will let me go. If there was no backspace key, this review would be a pile of garbage. I suppose it's letting me focus on this lightning fast cursor tear across the screen as I write a review on the drink that's making me speedy. Is that what the kids call "meta." Kids, stop supplementing and go outside. Always on those drugs. Calm down. I need some water.
Citrus Berry? Alright. It should be switched since it's berrier than it is citrus but it's all there so I'm not complaining. It's lightly carbonated, too and isn't too bad. It's considered a "Focus" drink but it's giving me the jitters like an energy drink would. Do people take cocaine to concentrate? Isn't that an "upper?" Shouldn't weed help you concentrate since you are calm? I don't know anything. I do know that although I might be cranking through this review because my hands are moving faster than my mind will let me go. If there was no backspace key, this review would be a pile of garbage. I suppose it's letting me focus on this lightning fast cursor tear across the screen as I write a review on the drink that's making me speedy. Is that what the kids call "meta." Kids, stop supplementing and go outside. Always on those drugs. Calm down. I need some water.
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- Energy Drink
- Company
- OrganicMe — Website — @OrganicMeBrands
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Cane Sugar
- Author
- Mike Literman on 7/29/14, 4:37 PM
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Titan Tea Peach Green Tea
In the Batman mythology Dr. Penelope young worked out a way to combine Poison Ivy's plants and Venom, the chemical that gives Bane his strength, into a new formula she called Titan. It's a fast acting, small dosage version of Venom, which has some unfortunate side effects. If the Gotham world were real I would only assume that this beverage company had found a way to clean up Titan and infuse extremely small doses of it into their teas to create a powerful beverage.
I'm sure there would be a stronger version for superheroes to get a little pick me up and hydrate. Hydration is important, even to those who protect our fair city from tyranny. This though, this version is for the everyday Joe and Mary out there. It says it has caffeine and ribose in it for sustained energy, but we all know that is just hiding the fact that Titan is involved. They can call it whatever they want, as long as it gives us a little pick me up and tastes like it does. This drink is on the bitter side of the tea world, and I personally appreciate it. Far too many iced teas these days are overly sweetened and the flavor o the brew is lost in a sea of sweetness. In here you can definitely taste the tea, and it makes the beverage stand out. Also it actually tastes like peaches and not fake sweetness in that regard as well. To be more specific it tastes like the part of the peach that touches the pit. It's a weird part of the peach to strive for, as it's not as sweet as the outer part, but that's exactly what this tastes like.
My ladyfriend did not enjoy this as she said it was too bitter. That is the exact reason I love it. It tastes natural and proper. Nothing tastes artificial. I would guess that is Poison Ivy's doing. She always has had such a way with nature.
I'm sure there would be a stronger version for superheroes to get a little pick me up and hydrate. Hydration is important, even to those who protect our fair city from tyranny. This though, this version is for the everyday Joe and Mary out there. It says it has caffeine and ribose in it for sustained energy, but we all know that is just hiding the fact that Titan is involved. They can call it whatever they want, as long as it gives us a little pick me up and tastes like it does. This drink is on the bitter side of the tea world, and I personally appreciate it. Far too many iced teas these days are overly sweetened and the flavor o the brew is lost in a sea of sweetness. In here you can definitely taste the tea, and it makes the beverage stand out. Also it actually tastes like peaches and not fake sweetness in that regard as well. To be more specific it tastes like the part of the peach that touches the pit. It's a weird part of the peach to strive for, as it's not as sweet as the outer part, but that's exactly what this tastes like.
My ladyfriend did not enjoy this as she said it was too bitter. That is the exact reason I love it. It tastes natural and proper. Nothing tastes artificial. I would guess that is Poison Ivy's doing. She always has had such a way with nature.
- Rating
- Categories
- Iced Tea
- Company
- Titan Tea — Website — @TitanTeaTweets
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Organic Fair Trade Certified Cane Sugar
- Author
- Jason Draper on 7/28/14, 2:59 PM
- Buy It Amazon.com
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