United States - 4098 Reviews

Mike's son, Max, refers to carbonated drinks as spicy water. That boy has apparently never had a bottle of Buchulife before. If he had he would know that this is the true spicy water. It's not spicy in a heat sort of way, but in a way that it smells as tastes of spice.

Out of everyone I had try this, I am the only one who actually enjoyed it. Friend of the site Dave said that it taste like carbonated anise water. While I don't agree, I can see where he's coming from. Mike says that it tastes like trees, and I can also see where he is getting that. This is herbal infused seltzer water, and the herbs give it a very specific taste that I simply can't place. It is also unsweetened, which lets all the weird flavors shine even more. It has a little bit of an anise flavor, but then again it also has the coolness of mint without any actual mint flavor. It's an odd taste for sure, but it's something that I enjoy more and more with every sip.

Supervillianry is a disease. It is not something that you can ever rid your life of. Once a supervillian, always a supervillian. The best one can hope is to be a supervillian in recovery. That is where Moloch the Mystic found himself in the early 80s; a supervillian in recovery. One important part of recovery is to keep oneself busy. Moloch did so by working on comparing lines of code for Adrian Veidt. When they proved to be not enough for his idle hands he created a beverage company, which he named after himself: Mistic.

In the beginning it was a huge deal. It was essentially wine coolers for kids ( you know non-alcoholic). Yes things were going well for Moloch, until that pesky cancer showed up and killed him dead. After that things kind of fell apart at the plant, but eventually they got their act together and production started anew. This time minus the bubbles.

Obviously the drinks aren't as good as they were in their heyday, but there is still a certain charm to them. Take this bottle of Tropical Fruit Punch for example. Sure they could have cheaped out and gone the Hawiian Punch route, but the folks at Mistic knew that their former president and CEO would never allow that. Instead they created a fruit punch that was a bit on the citrus side of things. It's a mixture of all things that would normally be thrown into a punch with slightly elevated levels of pineapple and orange. It really makes all the difference. Even though this is sweetened with HFCS, it is not too thick and syrupy.

It is a nice little treat that honors the legacy of a once terrible, then reformed man. Let us now bow our heads in remembrance of Moloch the Mystic, not for what he once was, but for the company he later created.

Grab any kid who went to basement shows in Buffalo from 1999-2003 and ask them what their favorite drink from Frank's Mobil was at that time. You will probably here one of two things: Fikes Iced Tea or Arizona Arnold Palmer tall boy. The latter is what we'll be focusing on today. Granted I don't drink them as often now, but I would easily drink 1-2 a day back then. The lemonade and iced tea just mixed perfectly together for those sweaty basement show nights.

Given my love for Arnold Palmer's and my willingness to try any energy drink, you can imagine my excitement when I found this at a grocery store near Cincinnati. Good news for energy drink haters, it doesn't taste like an energy drink. In fact, I can only taste the lemonade and iced tea. And just like the original, it is delicious! While it's not the greatest half and half I've had, this is one of the best energy drinks I've had so far.

Keep up the good work Arizona! I'd love to see more flavors of this.

After yesterday's heart palpitations and then evening crash, it's amazing/stupid that I would drink another energy drink. Perhaps I felt the need to re-up myself to a standard energy level, of course forgetting that come eight o'clock, I can not be close enough to a pillow. We will see about that. Until then, allow my non-sleepy hands to tell you what I thought about this drink.

You all should know that I think acai is pretty bad. It's some newfangled superfruit that I was fine not knowing like that person everyone thinks is awesome but really offers nothing to the conversation. Acai was fine where it was, wherever it came from. Look at how much research I did on that. Acai, you generally suck. In this case, you are welcomly overshadowed by everyone's buddy grape and are presented with an energy drink that tastes a little bit powdery, you know, because it's made from powder, and tastes like a grape drink. Not the homage to Dave Chappelle with the lack of the word "juice." It's not too sweet and doesn't have that crap bitterness that acai brings with it.

I am feeling a bit lightheaded and I think I can attribute it to this drink but I've really been milking it all day for some reason. Probably because I don't want my body to fall asleep while I am not ready to. I also don't want the sweats and erratic heart beats that yesterday's energy drink brought us.

I recently spent a week in Kentucky. I know that sentence sounds weird, but it's true. A good friend lives there and I have never spent much time in Kentucky so I decided to go. Little did I know that Ale 8 One is a staple of Kentucky and it was everywhere. By everywhere I mean you could purchase it at more places than you can in Buffalo. We had already reviewed the original so I took my hand at the diet. I should have known by my friend's reaction when I picked up the bottle at the grocery store that this wasn't going to be good.

She was right. It was pretty gross. Even for a diet soda it was bad. So bad that I got 3 sips in and had to dump the rest. Sorry Kentucky, I don't like your diet soda.

“Drops” are all over the place nowadays. Essentially they are a concentrate of the flavoring they use in their ready to drink products. These have to be a goldmine for the companies. Think about it, it's less packaging and less product, which means it doesn't take up as much warehouse space. On top of that shipping these things has to be dirt cheap when compared to 12-16 ounce bottles. Smart move companies.

I know these things are, for the most part, intended to be used for “on the go,” but I'm not that type of guy. In fact, the only times I have ever drank any drop product is when I review it. After that it goes to Mike for his ladyfriend to use because she doesn't like water, like a crazy person.

I do like that it gives you the ability to make your beverage as light or strong as you wish it to be. One quick squirt and you have a nice light flavored water. A couple more squirts and you have a “juice drink,” or something like that. The more you squeeze the stronger your drink is, but the downside of that is that the stronger it gets, the more you can taste the sucralose. Flavorwise this actually pretty nice and accurate to it's name. You can taste both the cherries and the pomegranate, which I certainly did not expect.

Also, take my advice, as an idiot scientist I assure you that squirting it directly into your mouth is not a good idea. It's so strong…€¦so strong.

Right off the bat I would like to, like a solid jerk, stay on both sides of this fence. On one side, the one with the greener grass, hotter women, and more delicious hot dogs, this is a good energy drink. It tastes like alright lemonade but that's good because it doesn't taste like uber-sweet energy drinks. It doesn't have that offensive diet taste unless you let it sit there and drop to room temperature. That's when the sucrose rears its ugly head. These are all good with a little asterisk next to it what with it being a diet energy drink.

The other side of the fence filled with gross, wet hot dogs, women with poor teeth and even worse personal hygiene, and dead, dog urine soaked grass, come the bad parts. My gosh I would like these heart palpitations to stop. I ate a full lunch. A big old Greek-ish wrap filled with delicious fixins. Still, about a half hour after I started I'm having strange heartbeats. I thought this would be different because I ate but nope. I felt like I could run up and down the stairs a trillion times or that I should to work off the bad beats my ticker was making.

So there you go. Take your side. If you and your heart can take a punch, you are in luck. If you are sensitive to energy drinks I ask you to stay away and just drink coffee for your jolts.

Can we all agree that almond's provide the greatest of all milks? Any milk that comes from animals involves some sort of gross bodily fluid mixed in. Rice milk…€¦well rice milk always tastes like rice. Soy milk is good, but you know too much soy can be bad for you, it also has a very specific taste to it. I do enjoy soy milk a great deal, but it simply cannot compare to the glory that is almonds. So basically what I'm saying is that not only are almonds the world's greatest nut, they also are the source of the world's greatest milk. I'm glad we're all in agreement here.

I'm into the idea of an almond milk based iced coffee. It's nice and smooth. The only thing is that this is 95% chocolate almond milk and 5% coffee. Now that is a nice treat for my personal taste buds, but for real coffee fans out there I'm sure it leaves them wanting. The coffee flavor is more of an aftertaste than anything. It almost has a malt like quality to it. I would like to try a stronger version of this, but until that exists I will enjoy this chocolate goodness.

Alright now, just ease back the cord of the bow. Hold the arrow back for a moment. Now, don't forget to breathe and relax. Once you feel confident that you have your target in your sites simply let go and let the pressure do the rest. Oh it looks like you missed the target. Speaking of, do you know what else missed the target: This bottle of Nature's Blends. I mean I guess it hit the target, but it certainly wasn't a bulls-eye. It hit somewhere in one of the outer circles.

The whole shtick of these drinks is that they are spring water and real juice. The thing is that if you add water to juice, you just get watered down juice. That is exciting for no one. So instead Poland Spring took some juice concentrate and added spring water, which would essentially make it juice again. They also added sugar and a couple of other ingredients that give it a slightly weird aftertaste. The thing is that instead of coming across like juice, this tastes like a Vitamin Water, minus the vitamins.

I'm pretty sure that nine times out of ten I would choose either plain water or just juice over this. It tastes perfectly satisfactory, but there are a handful of companies who do similar things better that are readily available.

Whenever I think about Muscle Milk all I can envision is a bunch of cows hanging out at Muscle Beach in Santa Monica just getting ripped. They are doing reps, they are doing sets and it is all for the tourists who watch from the other side of the fence. Seriously think about a cow bench pressing it's own bodyweight whist wearing a neon torn up tank top with a rad bandana on. I hope they have spotters. I wouldn't want any of them getting seriously injured.

Since the bottle clearly states that this contains no milk, and it is lactose free I can only assume that Muscle Milk is what those cows sweat out while they power lift on the beach. Obviously this flavor is the sweat from a brown cow. I never knew that sweat could be so thick. This actually tastes like high quality chocolate milk. You know the kind that someone actually melted chocolate into, instead of just mixing in a powder. It does a good job at not being chalky like protein shakes are prone to be. Now please sit back and giggle as you think about cows working out in the California sun.

I know. You thought of it. You're a genius. If only you had the money to start your own company to sell old cereal milk you would have been the genius behind this phenom of a company. Well I'm here to tell you that it was not as great as idea as you thought it was.

It's great when you do it at home because you ate the cereal and your mouth tastes like Cocoa Puffs but when you buy pre-bottles cereal milk, you're missing that aspect so it tastes like weak chocolate milk strained through someone's corn flakes. Is it bad? No. Is it good? Not particularly. It's got all the makings of a literal cereal milk but, as previously mentioned, it's lacking the actual action of eating and enjoying delicious chocolate cereal and earning the milk at the end.

So you made a good decision not following through with yet another one of your bright ideas because if you did, this review would be about your company and would hit uncomfortably close to home.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it has been far too long since I have been in Wawa country. It's only been about six months, but that is half a year that I was denied the glory of soft pretzels and their delicious teas. You might find yourself saying something along the line of, “It's just gas station tea, how could you possibly miss it that much?” I will tell you why I do, it's because they sweeten it with real sugar and actually use fruit juice to flavor it. Show me another gas station that does that, and I will plan a road trip.

Since my last visit Wawa has released this new flavor. It's like they are taunting me. I mean every employee of every Wawa location must have heard me go off a dozen times about how blackberries are my favorite and how a blackberry tea would be a gift. It seems like they took note and then decided to release it whilst I was back home…€¦jerks.

Lucky for me Editor Dan took a vacation and stopped at a Wawa, or eight, and brought me home a bottle. It's almost exactly what I wanted. With 40g of sugar per bottle its more than a tad sweeter than I would have preferred, but I'll take what I can get and what I got was a nice sweetened tea that actually tastes like blackberries.

Take note Wawa, I will be visiting your various locations around Jersey and Philly come September, so stock up for me.

Who doesn't love Nutella? I heard the German's love it. I would like to hear from the source that this is true but when my brother went to Germany he told me that they sold it all over the place and had cereal with Nutella in it. That to me sounds like a dream come true. For that reason, I was pretty stoked when I heard Tim Horton's had a chocolate hazelnut iced cappuccino.

The last couple that I have reviewed have been a bit lackluster. I don't know what it was whether it was a mistake in the mix or something else but they have been less than stellar to say the least. This, although ordered as a regular and delivered as a supreme was pretty good. Not completely on par with Nutella, but along the same path. With the super thick, chocolate whipped cream, it made the drink pretty smooth and thicker than a regular iced cappuccino. There was so much chocolate that it just tasted like I was drinking chocolate milk and I am not totally alright with that. I would have enjoyed a little coffee flava rather than a barrage, albeit delicious, of chocolate thunderstorm.

Ratios people. Math and ratios can save all the drinks, and you said you would never use it. Y'all are idiots. Not use math, seriously? Learn a book, why don't'cha?

Recently Naked settled a class action lawsuit out of court and agreed to pay nine million dollars as reparation. The reason for all of this was that the company claimed that some of their products were all natural and free of genetically modified ingredients. Apparently they were a bunch of little liars since some of their products contained ascorbic acid, beta carotene, and D-calcium panthothenate. I had no idea those weren't natural ingredients, but that is what the news told me and when has the internet ever steered anyone wrong?

Naked was always my readily available “quality” juice of choice. I always thought it was better than it's competitors, but perhaps I was wrong. I also don't really care because the juice is still delicious and even with those ingredients it's still better than garbage made from concentrate with a butt-ton of sugar added to it. Yes my friends, I will continue to drink Naked, as I am doing right now with this bottle of Orange Mango juice.

This little guy right here, he doesn't fall under the lawsuit. There is nothing weird and unnatural added to this juice, just fruit that has been squished to hell to get its delicious lifeblood. This is orange, apple, mango and banana rolled into one, but in a way that you can only really taste the orange and the mango. Normally in juices like that it's more of an orange juice with a splash of mango in it, but here it's more of a 60/40 split. You can definitely taste the mango in a very strong fashion, and isn't that what everyone wants from juice with mango in it. No one is out there saying, “Man this is okay, but I wish it tasted more like oranges.” This is a good juice. Nah, this is a great juice. Don't let the lawsuit hold you back from enjoying it.

Dear friends and colleagues, we don't need a “new water,” the current version is doing just fine thank you. If for some reason you needed something more, may I suggest one of those fancy alkalized ones? They are somehow way smoother than regular water, and I'm a person who normally says all waters are the same.

One thing I can say for certain is that in no way should anyone consider this line to be a new water, as its name hints. Water is essential. This is not. It in no way should be a replacement beverage, but I do think it could work well along side with water. It's chock full of vitamins and minerals, electrolytes and protein. I can understand what they are going for as it will certainly help the drinker rehydrate and refresh. Most importantly with it's pairing with water is that I think it needs to be watered down. It is one of those drinks that upon first sip you question in your mind if it is actually a concentrate. Okay, it's not that strong, but the flavors are a bit oppressive, and it would be hard for me to down a full bottle in a sitting. It has a candied peach mango flavor to it, and it tastes like someone put far too much of that flavor into the rest of this mix.

It's a slightly thicker beverage, but it doesn't have any trace of that traditional chalky protein taste. In all honesty if they had just held back a bit on the peach mango flavoring this could be a work of art. Well maybe the art that a teenager would do. You know they think it's all deep and meaningful, but you could go to any town in the US and find another teenager who drew the exact same thing. How is that relevant to this review? I honestly have no idea.

Inside of a round barn, it is fun to punish young children and have them go stand in the corner. In this round barn, it is fun to make root beer. I can only imagine the smell of that barn, all filled with the sweet smell of the nectar of the gods. Thing is, those gods are actual gods and, for good reasons, have the highest standards for root beer. It's their livelihood. That is what brings us to this root beer.

Yes, it is root beer and yes it tastes good. Problem is that is as far as it goes. It's not really exceptional in any regards. The root beer gods would drink this if they were, say, at a god of water's party; Perhaps a god of vengeance? This is because those gods don't know anything about root beer and just buy anything. This is not really dark or bold and doesn't have any of the goodness a high quality root beer has like anise or vanilla or licorice. It's just root beer. Take it or leave it.

The gods of root beer can hire the god of vengeance to do their bidding so do not cross them with sub par root beers. It is not wise.

Welcome to Pineapple Pokopo where we make all of our food to Cokopo…€¦err coconuts. The thing is that the only things that are prevalent on our island are pineapples and sharks. Our president is very insistent on the whole coconut thing though, so he has trained sharks to go to neighboring islands and bully their residents into giving them coconuts to bring back to us here at Pineapple Pokopo!

I must say that using coconut and pineapple in everything definitely limits the food available for us. We do drink a lot of pina coladas though. Actually I'd say that 95% of the occupants of our island are drunk for most of their life. They say it is the only way they can force down the food we have, and deal with their crippling fear of sharks.

Glaceau has hired us to make them a new flavor of Vitamin Water due to our surplus of pineapples, and coconuts since the sharks have gone a little overboard with their bullying. We call it Coco-Refresh, and it is essentially a non-alcoholic pina colada that is rich in vitamins. The residents of the island actually drink them as soon as they awake to help combat the brutal hangover they invariably have until they start drinking again.

Since we do have more pineapples then coconut, regardless of the sharks being jerks, the drinks is heavier on the pineapple then the tree nut. Are coconuts really nuts, or did someone just give them a dumb name because of their hard shells? Either way the coconut that is in the beverage is more along the lines of actual coconut water and not tanning oil. I'll never understand how people can enjoy something that tastes like that. Oh well, our Vitamin Water is refreshing and tasty, like everything here at Pineapple Pokopo. Won't you come and visit?

I don't know about lime but I do know that this might taste like the leaves of the tree a lime came off of. Those South African's must have an odd palate because this tastes like it most certainly comes from the earth and not much else. It's not bad but it most certainly has to have a specific set of people that either like it or hate it. I drink it because I "have" to. That's not to insult the company because this drink may not be bad but I know that they are not catering to the masses with this one. It tastes like your drinking juiced leaves. Some people who read that might think that appeals to them when the rest, most of the population I presume, think that is gross.

For what it's worth, this cannot be that bad since I've finished the whole bottle and fans of the site know that I don't care if I have to stop drinking something that is not good. Why torture myself? It's not needed if it's not needed, you know? I didn't need to drink this entire bottle but I kept coming back for more. I don't know if it was the strange nature of the drink but as I progressed through the bottle, I became more immune to it's nature-nature and started enjoying it for what it was; a quasi-lime flavored seltzer water.

If you don't want to try something new, that's fine but if you are a [wo]man of adventure, try this out. Try it when you are hiking because you will certainly be welcomed with open arms by Mother Nature and her tree trunk arms. That's not a fat joke. I feel like Mother Nature's figure is much like those scrawny women who hula hoop in your local park at dusk.

Patrick! What is this garbage? I leave you alone with the business for two weeks so I can have my first vacation in twenty years and I come home to you ruining my company! I wrote you out very specific instructions on how to make our beverages. They were all layed out for you line by line, and it took up only half of a page, yet you still couldn't follow it. You think you know oats better than your brother? You think you know oats better than Pete!?!? I spent years working on this recipe to make sure everything was exactly right. You come in for two weeks, and decide you can do better and throw the instructions out the window? What made you think that making a vat of oatmeal with double the water and just throwing a handful of grapes into the mix would make for a good beverage? What you've created is a gross sludge that no one in their right minds would want to ingest.

You see when done correctly, following my instructions I might add, the oatmeal is not the base for the drink. It's more of a watery juice. Don't get me wrong it has a strong white grape flavor that almost tastes like “original” aloe juice, it just has to be fairly liquidy because when you add in the powdered oats, it needs a little extra fluid to absorb them, so the drink doesn't become too thick. Actually when done correctly the results shouldn't have a consistency all that different from peach juice, you know just a little thicker than water.

If what you created wasn't bad enough, you also didn't even properly mix in the sweetener. I use a mixture of erythritol, evaporated cane juice and stevia in my products It gives it less calories, without tasting too diet. In yours you just through in regular sugar and it's in there in big clumps. Everything about what you have done is wrong and gross.

I wish I could divorce you from being my brother. If this was some sort of retribution prank, you have done terribly. Pranks need to be smarter and well thought out, you know sneaky like I would do. That is why I am called Sneaky Pete. Maybe we should just start calling you Mean Spirited, Lazy Patrick. How would you like that?

Ugh. I'll have to dump this all out and start over. Grab one of the bottles I made before I left from the cooler. See how this is actually a drink and not just slop that isn't fit to feed a pig? You really are the worst Patrick, now get out of my factory and tell mom it looks like I'm going to be late for family dinner, and that she has you to thank for that.

I'm sorry about your jaw, honey. It's for the best, though, right? I mean, if you were going to have a life long issue with your misaligned teeth, it's probably a lot easier for you to have it wired shut and realigned for a couple months and never have to worry about it. I know it's impossible for you to eat solid food but we can blend and juice things so you don't have to eat ranch dressing for three months. Ugh, just the though of that...

I bought you a salad from that nice new restaurant. I know you can't eat it but I thought we could use that juicer that we got for a wedding present. I know; I didn't put it on the registry either. We might have used it once in the last five years we've been married. I bet your uncle Paul bought it for us. That tasteless gift would have matched perfectly to his Hawaiian shirt he wore to the reception. I saw it on the menu and I think you would like it. I dusted off the juicer and I'm going to make you a nice, tasty juice. Hold on a couple minutes and I'll get this ready for you.

Here you go, honey. It should taste just like the salad. It does, doesn't it? Yeah...wait. What do you mean you don't really like it? Can I take a sip of it? You know what? It makes sense. As a solid, it's great but salad was never meant to be a liquid. I can tell that it means well and you can kind of taste everything but there is a certain element of chewing that I expect and this seems a bit...pre-chewed, I guess. I don't want to go back to the ranch dressing and this is definitely better for you but I understand. You probably should drink the rest of this, like it or not because it has to be super healthy and also a great way for you to get all the nutrients you need pretty quickly. There is little to no nutritional value in salad dressing, just salad.

Yes, I did get a dessert. It's an ice cream sundae that I think will blend into a nice milkshake. I think we're safe there. This might have not been the best idea I've ever had and I will be the first to admit that.