Sucralose - 291 Reviews

Remember when Jones came out and you thought to yourself, "Green apple pop?! Woah!" Now, look, they've still got strange, fun flavors, those crazy Canadians, but you've got to pay the bills. Diet cola sells and people love the stuff. Even for a company that prides themselves on using pure cane sugar, they can't do that unless they make a super weak, odd tasting pop. Dry does it, but they're good at it and that's their thing.

This, and you shouldn't be surprised, just tastes like a diet cola. It has an alright cola taste but is still diet. I might say that this is a titch (scientific term) better than diet Pepsi. I'm not hating; just doing a poor comparison. I'm not a hater. I'm cynical, but I'm no hater. 'Nuff respect, Pepsi. Let these guys do what they do.

I liked high school. That doesn't mean that I was great at it, but I liked it. I took a lot of great technology, shop, and music courses my senior year and it was like the school I always wanted. In hindsight, I wish I had gone with a trade school versus a traditional...or three colleges.

Back to high school: In high school we only had a Powerade machine. One. Singular. That was the one and only vending machine in the entire school. I would talk to other kids that would have all these pop machine and snack machines and stuff. I was jealous. For this reason, since I was 16 (1998) I have had a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, Powerade, it's because I'm a dumb idiot. Also, for no reason, I thought that Powerade was slightly carbonated regardless of how many times people told me that it wasn't. Without exaggeration, I have not had Powerade since I was a junior in high school; Today that all changed.

Jay and I came across it and I knew that it was time to change everything. Why should I hold a grudge against a company because they offered us something when no one else would? I should have loved Powerade these past few years. After today I have these regrets. This whole time I was missing a decent line of drinks that, yes, is like Gatorade, I'll say it, but it's good. I think that the fruit punch was good. Maybe the "zero" of it all calmed down the sweetness but I did a good job clobbering nearly thirty-two ounces of it. It was good. If you like fruit punch but don't like the strange bite that it sometimes has and like the drinkability of Gatorade and hate calories, this is the drink for you.

I'm sorry, Powerade. My alma mater thanks you and that's coming from a cynical jerk. It's been a long time coming. Sorry, guys.

Some of you may know that about five months ago Derek moved to Portland. You may have heard that he did so in order to open up a button/zine store. You my friends have fallen victim to a farce. The real reason Neuls Vern moved to the northeast was to train for UFC. Seriously, I'm not spreading false rumors here. You should see the before and after photos, it's intense. Our mind manner drink reviewer is now a monster who could very easily rip off your head (It only takes 7 pounds of pressure to rip off someone's ear, so home boy must be using a lot of weight to do this).

I got these sent to my home the other day, but it really should have gone to Thirsty Dudes West (officially Neulando Calrissian's side of business). He would be crushing these cans in one gulp before getting into the ring and kicking the ever loving crap out of other zinesters come professional fighters. He is a baby and hates diet stuff, so I don't know if he would like it. Who am I kidding he probably wouldn't even taste it, drinking a full 16oz can in one gulp and all. If he were to taste it he would note that it resembles a melted down melon Jolly Rancher (Do those exist outside of watermelon, which this is not?) if instead of being made with sugar it was made with sucralose. It's a pretty intense flavor, that I don' t think I would have enjoyed at all if it weren't diet. Real sugar would have made it unbearably sweet. Neuliana Hatfield is watching his weight these days though in order to get into a lower weight class. He really could have used this badboy. Oh, by the way, his fighting name is The All Things Ordinary Backstabber. I know it's long and doesn't really roll off the tongue, but if you have seen him lately you wouldn't argue with him.

I've been sitting on my computer for the past four hours working on a new project. Within that time I have listened to predominately electro-pop like Tesla Boy, Anoraak, Brookes Brothers, and Skinny Puppy "Remission," which could not be further from electro-pop. I'm in a fantastic mood and that's also considering I took ten minutes to walk down the street to see a car chase gone wrong with a criminal crashing into a tree and a cop car crashing into someone's front porch. I'm in the zone (chief) and I could stay up all night and get a good portion of this project done and over with if it wasn't for my better judgment and assumption/guarantee that my son will wake up between 7:30 and 8 in the morning and I will be drained all day.

As I'm working, I'm working on this iced tea. I was stoked to see this in the smaller bottles today instead of those gargantuan, thirty-plus ounce bottles. I had no choice but to fork over a buck and a half and get it. I took one sip and my glee promptly turned into disappointment. Why? Simple. Lipton forgot to add the watermelon. I was so excited to try a watermelon green tea but Lipton, in their haste, forgot to put the watermelon flavor in this. It's got a decent green tea taste and I commend that. It does taste a little diet, which is good considering this is a diet drink sweetened exclusively with sucralose and that stuff is grozz. I have eaten watermelon on numerous occasions and I've got to say that this drink is simply lacking that flavor.

I understand that the two is harsh, but it's partially a punishment for getting my hopes up with the promise of watermelon green tea and also the fact that all the flavors of this line of tea have been great. Bottom rung.

Since we intake so many calories from consuming drinks all the time, I have actually come to look forward to diet drinks. 80% of the time they taste horrible, but every once in a while you'll find one that surprises you. This is one of those instances. Usually diet iced tea is really gross and tastes like a barrel of chemicals. Somehow Snapple has managed to keep the toxic taste out of this half and half. I have a feeling the lemonade might have something to do with it, but I'm not complaining.

As a half and half, this is just "okay". It's not the worst, but it's far from the best. It's middle of the road. Medicore, so-so, or any other way you want to put it.

Welcome back to another episode of “Board Room Shenanigans.” As always we are brought to you by the three lovely fellows at Thirsty Dudes. This series helps to fill in the gaps as to why certain drinks taste like they do. Sometimes you have to wonder how some drinks make it onto the shelves. Here at the show we like to think we shed some light on the subject. Now onto today's episode…€¦.

Gentlemen, the world of energy drinks is shifting and I will not see our empire crumble because we did not get with the times. Consumers are demanding more than just candy flavored sparkling drinks that will keep them up all night. As our competitors have proven the clients want real flavors and new styles. I thought we would be alright since we put that relaxation drink on the market, but people still want new energy drinks. What are everyone's ideas? Juice infused with whatever it is that gives our drinks energy? Well first off, as a member of this board you really should know what those ingredients are. We don't need a scandal on our hands. Secondly, do you think I want to hemorrhage money? Do you know how much fruit juice costs in comparison to the sugar water we put out now? There's no way we could do that and keep our profits high. Energy shots? Those are so last year. Energized iced tea? I think you may be onto something! That's something new and tea can be the cheapest thing ever. Let's take it up a notch though, so people think they are getting a little extra for their money. Let's make it peach iced tea.

In order to keep costs low we're going to need to use the ghettoest tea ever. You know those gallons of tea you can find in gas stations for 99 cents that are more sugar water than tea? Well, we need to use something like that, but make it even more peach flavored sugar water and less tea. We'll mix all of that up with our patented energy mix, which off the record I think tastes like toxic waste and we have a new product on our hands that the kids will eat up. Non-carbonated energy drinks are going to be the wave of the future and we're going to be riding the crest. Who cares if our product will taste like garbage? It's so new that people will eat it up and by the time they realize just how gross it is, we'll be sold out and have a new product on the market.

I'm a self-proclaimed outdoor kid. Hiking around the woods is one of my favorite things to do. With that being said, as I get older I find myself making it out into the great outdoors a lot less than I used to. This has left me feeling like a slob. I work then I hang out the house or go to band practice. As a result a few months ago I joined a gym. Well because of that and because the amount of sugar I intake is fairly astronomical due to this website. I'm shocked that I have actually kept going, and I find myself more or less enjoying it. I have a routine of when I go, and I stick to it. Even over the past week when it's been 95+ degrees and I sweat just sitting still.

Today was one of my gym days and I was already sweating like crazy as I climbed out of the basement furnace that is my screen printing shop. I dried off as much as I could and then headed to work out. I feel sorry for the other patrons of the gym. Sure I follow the rules and wipe off the machines when I'm done, I'm not a savage, but while I was on the treadmill sweat was literally pouring off of me. When I was done there was a physical pool of sweat on the floor beneath me. Embarrassed, I cleaned it up and then went to do some lifting. I try not to look at anyone else while I'm there, so I don't know if anyone was in the same boat as me, but I can only assume they were and I hope they paid me the same courtesy as I did them by ignoring my existence.

By the time I got back home I was completely drenched with sweat and dehydrated. I decided I should give this bottle of Cytomax recorvery drink a try. I figured there would never be a better time. It's a protein drink, so I expected it to be thick. It's also watermelon flavored so I expected it to be gross. What I didn't expect was for it to taste like it does, and that is like a generic Pixie Stix. To be more specific it tastes like someone took a watermelon Jolly Rancher and crushed it to powder. Then for every part powder they mixed in three parts Pixie Stix. Shockingly it's not disgusting, but it is insanely sweet, in the artificial sweetener kind of way.

I don't really know if it helped with recovery, but it did quench my thirst, and I strangely enjoyed it. So at least it's got that going for it.

Last night I participated in the 4th annual Portland 24 Hour Zine Challenge. From 10am on Saturday to 10am today, a bunch of nerdy zine kids went to the Independent Publishing Resource Center and each made a 24-page zine within the 24 hours. I wrote mine about every house/apartment I have ever lived in (there has been many) and I finished with 5 hours to spare.

This wonderful drink definitely helped a lot. In recent times I have significantly cut back my energy drink intake in fear of making my heart explode. When I was getting snacks and drinks for the challenge, I was excited to find this because I had never seen this rehab flavor before. All the ones I've had thus far were delicious, and this was no different. It has a slight energy drink aftertaste, but for the most part it tastes like iced tea and Sunny D. Some might recoil at the sound of that, but I love the flavor of Sunny D. There's real orange juice in it so maybe it was just in my head.

So next time you need to make a zine in 24 hours, this will definitely do the trick.

Scared out of my mind. Fast Twitch? Really? That's not something I want. Ever. I don't want any speed of twitching. Really? That's what the round table discussion ended up with? I would have loved to hear the bad titles of this line of drinks. One other thing before it's time to travel over the bridge to Reviewtown is that the flavor of this drink is "purple" and not grape. Oh, it tastes like grape, but it's not titled grape. Does grape have a trademark on its name? If so, that's wack.

Bridge...

This tastes like grape and is not at all as absolutely revolting as I had anticipated. With a title like Fast Twitch and with promises of "explosive strength performance" I thought this was going to be wildly sweet and have that "Oh dude. There is protein in this and now has an undesirable viscosity and texture" thing that I don't like. Turns out it just tastes like a grape Fla-vor-ice. Sorry, purple Fla-vor-ice. Lawsuit avoided.

Overnight flights are simultaneously the best and the worst. They are the bet because you can sleep through most of the flight and it seems to pass quickly, which is always appreciated. Even if I have an early morning flight I tend to stay up the whole night before, just so that I can sleep on the plane.

They are the worst because no matter how tired you are; you never get a consistent sleep. It's impossible to get “sleep comfortable” on a plane. There's no place to put your head and if you try to sleep in a full sitting position your head will inevitably fall forward like you were in some boring class in high school that just put you out. Case in point is my last day in Vegas and the flight home. I woke up at 7:30 am and went and ate far too much at breakfast. Then I walked around all day to wear myself out. There was a point where I just thought that if I just sat down anywhere I would pass out, but I stayed vertical and kept moving. Our plane left around midnight. I tried to stay awake until they approved use of portable electronic devices so that I would put on some sleepy music to drown out all the noise around me. I remember the plane starting to move on the runway, but I apparently couldn't keep my eyes open for another minute because I was out before the plane left the ground. You would think that a situation like that would be ideal, but as it turns out that sleep lasted me a whole twenty minutes of a five-hour flight. As to be expected, my head fell forward and I woke up, unable to fall back asleep. Luckily I had planned ahead and brought a Koma Unwind with me. I quickly downed the berry chemical flavored liquid, which I initially thought was horrible, but left a pleasant aftertaste. It's rare that these shots truly taste pleasant, so I'll take all of the niceness I can get out of them. After about 10 minutes of pondering the taste I was asleep again. I wasn't able to sleep through the flight, I woke up probably every 20 minutes or so, but the unwind shot helped me to fall back to sleep with relative ease. The moments that I was awake were extremely annoying, but I will take that collective 2 minutes over being conscious for a five-hour flight any day.

Baby girl you're getting married today and I have just the thing for you. Don't look at me like that! No, it's not an energy drink! It's a beauty elixir. It will make you glow girl! You know how they refer to people as blushing brides? Well in the olden days that would happen naturally, but with all of the artificial crap that is in food now a days your body needs a little help. That's where Hansen's comes in. They have come up with a formula with all of the vitamins and nutrients that a bride to be needs to give her the blush at the alter. On top of that they gave it a nice berry flavor. It's a mixture of blackberries, blueberries raspberries and strawberries. For a little extra something something they even added a little bit of cranberry in there. Unfortunately in order for the formula to work properly they did have to add a little sucralose to it, but it's so slight of an amount that you can't really tell that it's there at all. The acerola in there you can taste a bit and it gives it a weird twist. It's weird, but it's good.

Baby girl you are going to blush so hard at the alter after you drink this, your husband isn't going to know what to think. Seriously though, do you think anyone is really going to believe you just because you're wearing a white dress? Let's get real here.

Italian Fest will be next week. I have a strange thing where I don't like to eat Italian food because I feel like I've never had Italian food that is any better than what I can make at home. I know that I have just irritated every Italian that is reading this as well as anyone who is reading this with an Italian lurking over their shoulder. Italian Fest is like St. Patrick's Day where everyone is Italian for the day. Well, everyone except Sicilians since there is some...thing...going on there.

To combat Italian Fest my own, stupid way, I decided to make some Italian food myself in the comfort of my own home. I boiled some boxed penne, and put some Goya chipotle marinade in some pre-made mushroom sauce and ate it and it was fantastic. I won. I beat Italian Fest. I decided to accompany my victory meal with a cold glass of MiO lemonade. I didn't know what to expect because my ideal lemonade has a pound of pulp in it. I know the container's restrictions so I wasn't surprised that there wasn't pulp in there. A couple squirts later, the water has turned into lemonade. This lemonade tasted like little kid's lemonade that was a bit watered down. That also means that you could make better MiO lemonade by not following directions and adding "too much" mix. It's got a bit of a diet taste, but it's a diet drink so who's surprised there? Not I. Not I.

Dear Italians. You're wonderful people but can keep your gross, cheese filled desserts.

Women? I'm sorry. Not for me, but for what H10O thinks you deserve. The women's suffrage movement was apparently forgotten because you deserve better than this. All those signatures you got to earn the rights to vote are for naught. All of the time you spent hand-drawing signs in order to be able to not spend your days in the kitchen making pies and pot roast for your husband have been ignored. To H10O, you have been diluted to this, diet energy water drink that tastes like a tropical, diet mess.

Remember all those sucralose ridden drinks you've had in the past in hopes that you can have something flavorful and diet and flavorful at the same time but were delivered just a generic tropical diet drink. No actual noticeable fruits, just an amalgam of mixed-together flavors that were on the shelf labeled "topical." On the plus side, drinking this is advertised as good for you. It's good for your hair, skin, teeth, but isn't that what women's rights was all about? You, ladies, are more than just a pretty face. You're people. You're women. You're powerful authority figures that deserve equal treatment and equal pay. Nope. You are just girls that love things like Lip Smackers lip gloss, Teen Beat magazine, eye shadow, the color pink, Madonna, and hair spray. Enjoy your diet drinks, ladies. Drink this and you'll be sure to shed those pesky pounds and look great in that debutante dress.

Bro...I'm so hung over. I had a few too many Corona Lights, Bud Lights, strawberry daiquiris, Appletinis, Fuzzy Navels, Sex on the Beaches, Singapore Sling, Jagerbombs, and Zimas. Yeah, I drank all of them. What? I'm 22 and I am invincible. What was my tab? I don't know. Hold on. I'll get it. It was...$321.86. Woo. That's a lot. You were right there. Do we have any coffee? I'm dying over here. How are you fine? You drank one last shot? I don't understand how a shot saves you from the immense headache that I'm feeling. What? It's a powder? Are you talking about coke? Dude, I will drink until the sun comes up but I'm not doing coke. Oh, you're not talking about coke. Alright. It's a thing you put in water that you drink after you slam a few dozen drinks? Would it have helped me? You think it would? Did you see how many Bartles and James I had last night? So you just drink it and it makes hangover's not happen? My god. How do I get that inside of me like eight hours ago? Can I try one? You do what? You press it into a bottle of water? That's cool. It tastes like chalky, fruity Smarties. It's not bad, but it's clearly a powder in its infancy. I like it and it's drinkable, though. I would easily drink this after a night of crushing Smirnoff Ice.

I wish I had found this last night. I wish I had a better roommate that would allow me to not have the room spin. I guess until time travel is invented, I'm going to lay here on the kitchen floor with the lights off. Oh, you need to make a sandwich? What time is it? 4:00!? Well I'm fired. I don't even care. I'm not leaving this floor until that ceiling fan starts spinning on its own and not by my mind's way. This is sickening.

“To achieve a hippy utopia through the use of brewed beverages.” I'm pretty sure that is the mission statement of the Peace Tea company. For the most part I think they might be on the right track. Their beverages are inexpensive so the common man can afford them. They also use decent sweeteners for health reasons. On top of all of that 90% of their line of teas taste pretty fantastic. It's a tea nearly everyone can afford and enjoy and isn't that the basis for a utopian civilization?

As far as I know this is the only diet tea they have yet to put out. I had my reservations about it, hence it took me so long to actually get around to drinking and reviewing it. Happily it wasn't all that bad. In fact I straight up enjoyed it. The strength of the green tea overpowered the sucralose and it didn't have that gross diet taste to it, well not too much. I honestly expected to drink a couple of sips of this and then pass it off to someone else, but I ended up downing it all myself. When it was nice and cold is when it was at its peak. The warmer it got the more the sucralose was noticeable.

My only question for the company is if you're striving for peace, what's up with all of the weird propaganda slogans on your cans? Are you trying to lull everyone into a sense of peace and well being and then arise as our new overlords? Are you actually the bringers of the apocalypse? Either way, good job on the tea. I'll be drinking many more.

ATTN: CANADIANS!

Are you looking for an energy drink that fits into your countries unique tastes? If so I've got what you're looking for right here. You see I have learned that people from Canada are obsessed with Tahitian Treat pop, and that they buy it buy the case when they can get their grubby maple syrup covered hands on it. I don't believe I know a single American who has ever expressed interest in Tahitian Treat, but I know Canadians who go gaga over it. If you're not familiar it is a fruit punch flavored soda that has a very specific taste. This energy drink also has that taste with the energy drink flavor mixed in.

I started off thinking this was okay. Then about halfway through the can it got almost sour, and by the time I was ¾ through I felt like my tongue was going numb. I think I might have liked it more because of those things. I am strange. I have accepted it. Now smuggle some of this over the border in your trunk full of soda.

The name of this flavor instantly made me think of Gatorade. It's like a word association in my head. You say “Frostberry Blast” and I think of “Frost Glacier Freeze.” The fact that there is blue in this packaging and the Gatorade is also blue helped as well. I'm glad I had that association because as far as I can remember they also taste similar. Well it tastes like Frost Glacier Freeze mixed with one of those random flavors of Mountain Dew (Voltage). It's blue raspberry flavored, but it's sweetened with sucralose, so it's not overly sweet. It actually doesn't taste overly diet either. I'm pretty into this. It's a nice change up from your normal energy drink flavors.

Xyience was ahead of the game due to their name as it is. As a man who now owns a lab coat, I assure you that anything to do with science I will look upon with favor. I mean they must have scientists working for them to come up with the idea to ship their drinks in the canisters banks use for their pneumatic tubes.

They are also the official energy drink of UFC. I hope that when they unveiled this it was at a match. Two of the fighters entered the ring in lab coats and goggles. They were each handed a can of Frostberry Blast, which they instantly chugged and then proceeded to just beat the hell out of each other while they were all hopped up. I just really want to see two people in scientist attire go toe to toe. It can be ultimate fighters or it could be the nerdiest, gangliest dudes that NASA has to offer. I'm fine with it either way.

You know how in old movies whenever someone would get trapped up in a snowstorm somewhere in the arctic or some such thing a giant Saint Bernard would come out of nowhere with a barrel full of brandy strapped to its neck? Apparently the brandy would slow down the effects of frostbite. Is there a more adorable way to be saved from a frozen death? Okay koalas dragging you to safety would be pretty cute.

Well the Saint Bernard's day in the sun is over. There's a new pup on the block and he's a coonhound named Boozer. He will never save you from an avalanche, but he just may save you from a killer hangover. While many people may be bummed out that he doesn't carry around a barrel of alcohol, he does carry around a can of hangover remedy that you will thank him for in the morning. It's a mixture of vitamins and herbs that help to rejuvenate your body and fight the dehydration that alcohol can cause. It has a mild citrus flavor that combats the taste of the vitamins. The fight is kind of in a stalemate. You can taste the citrus, but it isn't strong enough to fully cover up the tastes of the vitamins. It's not horrible, but it's not something you would drink recreationally, which you shouldn't anyways as it's a beverage with a specific purpose. As an added bonus once you take the can from our friend the dog, he's free to tear it up for the night. He can get tanked and rip it up on the dance floor.

It has taken us over a year to review this from when Boozer sent it to us. Sorry guys, we messed up.

Johnny was a small-town boy. He grew up in a town with one stoplight, one gas station, one barber, and a local grocery store. He was listening to the radio and heard a sweepstakes where he could win a trip to "the big city." He was the tenth caller, won the prize, and before you knew it, he was on his way. He had been on a train before, but only a few towns over, never this far. It was a two-day trek and Johnny was more than prepared. When he arrived at the hotel in the city, he brought his one bag up and headed back down to enjoy the city itself.

He was a bit thirsty and went next door to a small store to get a drink. There was an endcap, which advertised a low calories, iced tea mix that you could mix with a bottle of water. He remembered that the hotel had a six-pack of water ready for him so he bypassed some of the stranger drinks.

Johnny went upstairs to make some tea and ran into a couple cute girls who he invited them up to his room. He told the girls to relax while he went into the bathroom to mix up a bottle of tea so that in the case that it made a mess, it wouldn't be too bad to clean up. He heard the girls talking and didn't think anything of it. He sat down on the bath to drink a little of the tea and initially it was a bit strong. He could have mixed it into a larger bottle of water, but all he had was a smaller bottle. It was a little bitter and did have some acai flavor. Acai was not a flavor he was familiar with but he thought it was bitter on bitter but mixed with a lot of sweet kind of evened things out. He drank about half of the bottle before he got up to see what the girls were up to. He went to leave the bathroom but the door was stuck. There was a phone in the bathroom, which he used to call the front desk to tell them that he was trapped in the bathroom. They came up and let him out and asked him what he was doing. He told them that he let some nice girls come in the room while he made some tea and then the door wouldn't open. The man asked him what happened to the television and Johnny didn't know what he was talking about. When he walked out of the bathroom, he noticed that the television, radio, coffee maker, and desk lamp was missing. The girls had robbed him. The maintenance man said that there is a security camera that was in front of the elevators and they won't be able to make it out of the hotel without being caught.

Johnny had been in the city for less than an hour and had already gotten robbed. He will never wonder again why his parents and grandparents never went to the city. City girls were trouble and he spent the rest of his trip not talking to anyone.

Robert Van Winkle felt like a failure, and a disappointment to his family. When your great-great-grandfather is Rip Van Winkle you are expected to be able to sleep through anything. Unfortunately that was not true for Robert. Ever since he was a baby he was a bit on an insomniac. He would get in fights with his parents and they would tell him he was an embarrassment and they often accused him of abusing energy drinks. The truth is that he had never so much as tasted a drop of an energy drink. His lack of sleep was a natural thing. His theory was that his ancestors used up all of the sleep allocated to his bloodline, thus cursing him with constant wakefulness. The upside of this was that Robert became a genius. Since he rarely slept, he used all of his waking hours on his studies and quickly had several doctorates and became a scientist. He dreamed of someday creating a potion that would give him the relief of sleep that his family clung to so much.

This bottle that I hold in my hand is the result of years of endless research and trials. Robert Van Winkle finally overcame his demons and I'm happy to say that with the first shot that he drank he quickly fell into a long relaxed slumber. His success mixture tasted like gummy orange slices that had been liquefied. He was shocked at how his final version actually did not taste very intense. It didn't taste like chemicals like so many of his past attempts. He beat science and a family curse. Robert Van Winkle is a true American hero.