Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

The best word I can think of to describe this tea would be "clean." It's very crisp and flavorful, but there's really no aftertaste. You take a sip. The flavor hits you all at once. You swallow. Clean palate. It's a nice change of pace as many sweetened teas leave a taste in your mouth for a while afterwards.

The peach flavor doesn't taste overly ripe, but it fits the taste of the white tea better because of it. If it were riper it would become too overpowering. I am a big fan.

First things first; why on Earth is this drink blue? It's pineapple, orange, grapefruit and lemon juice. All of which fall in the yellow to orange spectrum. Not a blue fruit in sight. For some reason Everfresh decided to add some blue dye to it. I don't get it. I don't know if they wanted it to appeal to kids more, but there it is as blue and windshield washer fluid.

Lucky for everyone involved it doesn't taste like windshield washer fluid. Actually I can't say that for certain, as I've never actually tasted it. What if that blue spray you use to clean your windshield is actually delicious and fruity. That could be problematic as I'm pretty sure it doubles as poison. I'm going to just assume it tastes like gross sauce. This beverage on the other hand tastes pretty tropical. It's a pretty accurate mix of all of the fruits I previously mentioned. It's tart, but there's sweetness in there that keeps it in check. It actually does remotely taste like Sweet Tarts. Wait does windshield washer fluid taste like Sweet Tarts. Children will die by the millions if this news gets out.

Before I continue I'd just like to state that I have not gone completely beverage crazy this morning and been downing drinks left and right. I'm playing a little bit of catch up, as we like to refer to it down at Initech.

Now that I've cleared that up I'd like to announce that I am completely in love with Triple Berry Smoothies from Orange Julius. I know there are much better smoothies out in the world, but something about the frothiness of their Triple Berry really hits me in the right spot. I've also been conditioned to think of that exact flavor whenever I hear the words triple and berry said back to back.

Now you know where my head was when I opened this drink. Unfortunately Hydrive couldn't live up to that glory, but this is in no way a bad drink. It's a non-carbonated "enhanced water energy drink." Like most energy drinks it tastes like some sort of melted down candy. Not a brand name candy, but some sort that you would buy in the bulk section. What is that company? Brachs? I guess that is a brand name. Oh well. It tastes like a melted down hard candy. I'm okay with that. You should be too.

Sometimes it's 90+ degrees out and you suddenly have the undying need to go out walk a creek and search for the worthy opponent General Sherman. For the record General Sherman is a catfish that lives in 18 Mile Creek out in the Derby/Hamburg area of New York. Rumor has it that his belly is filled with gold and the ultimate iced tea. Few people know of his existence and even fewer have lived to tell the tale of their battles with him. That is mainly because I think only three of us ever tried to catch him. I have had two encounters with he and all his glory through the years (last year). Editor Dan and I nearly had him once. He exited the water and we grabbed him, but his hide was just too slippery for us to keep a grasp.

So I returned, I saw the corpses of many catfish (three) but none of them were the General. He was nowhere to be found. Maybe he was laying in wait to build up his armies, or maybe he swam out into the lake. I doubt we'll ever know for sure. One thing that I do know is that I worked up one hell of a thirst on this adventure. I had hoped to quench it with the previously mentioned "ultimate tea" I was going to gather from the gullet of General Sherman, but since I failed I had to resort to POM tea.

To be fair it wasn't really a resorting to it, as POM makes some incredible tea. This flavor has the perfect blend of pomegranate and blackberries. I am a sucker for anything with blackberries in it, they are your money berry. Something strange happens in this tea. There is the great fruit and tea flavors, but there's something else. It almost tastes like mint. It has the same cool crispness, but without the actual mint flavor. I had never experienced this before this week, but this is the second drink I've had with this effect. I have to say I really enjoy it and it makes the drink that much more refreshing.

Somewhere in the sands of the Sahara there is a paradise-esque oasis. It is only 30ft x 30ft, but that 900 square foot patch is considered by many to be heaven. It is extremely treacherous to journey to the area that locals call Gondelavisti, but it is said that anyone who completes the journey never returns the same person. It is in this are that the ever-elusive rain berry grows. A common misconception is that the rain berry grows in tropical rainforests. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact of the matter is the rain berry is what causes the desert. The plant sucks up all of the moisture from the ground leaving everything for miles around cracked and dusty. Honestly without the rain berry deserts would not exist on this world. Luckily it is not an invasive plant of Earth would be the opposite of Water World.

The other side of this coin is that a single berry contains so much water and electrolytes that it could quench the thirst of an entire village that has withstood a 20-year drought. It seems that Gatorade has made its way to Gondelavisti and returned with a supply of rain berries, which they have used in their line of sports drinks. It is very light and absolutely refreshing. The rain berry tastes like a mix between grapes and strawberries. I appreciate that it isn't as syrupy as the original Gatorade line. I've heard that they only use one rain berry for every ten batches of this stuff that they make. That's how insane those berries actually are.

There is nothing that infuriates Sharon Clarion more than when people make the wrong assumptions about the flavor of her favorite sodas. As you can see by the picture on the bottle her husband, Franklin Mercer, did just that and she promptly shoved him down a staircase.

Now Franklin is no world-renowned rocket scientist, but I can understand where he's coming from. I also thought this was going to be a cola. From the tiny pictures in the background of peppers and candy canes I thought it was going to be a spicy cola with some mint in it. I admit now that it would have been the craziest pop ever and probably disgusting. It's my sworn duty to be honest though and that is what I expected it to be.

Luckily for Franklin he got a straw in the bottle before the aforementioned shove, and somehow the bottle landed next to his crumpled body on the floor, and the straw was in reach of his mouth. As soon as he smelled the soda he instantly knew his folly and he couldn't blame Sharon for shoving him. What is a person without passions? Franklin would tell you that it is a person that he wants nothing to do with.

He sucked down a mouthful from the straw and assured himself that his super sniffer was correct this is a Dr. Pepper knock off. Of course it is, thought Franklin. Dr. Cane....duh. Also the peppers in the background now made a whole lot of sense. The thing is that it's way better than Dr. Pepper. It's not just the cane sugar, because we've had Dublin Dr. Pepper and this is superior to that. This is the same basic idea of Dr. Pepper, but it tastes more natural and fruity. Franklin and I agree that we're not big fans of the original, but that this is a pop we can get behind.

Don't worry. Franklin has been healing nicely. He's still trying to get Sharon to switch to his last name, but she's a fiery woman with conviction, and to be honest that is what he likes about her.

I just realized that I have not had a Vitamin Water since we started this site. That seems insane because there was a long stretch of my life where I got them for free so I drank at least one a day. Since this incarnation of Thirsty Dudes ten months ago I just figured there were other, weirder, drinks that needed my attention. When I was in a gas station and I wanted something that wasn't carbonated I went with a new flavor of an old standby.

As soon as I opened it I remembered how much I actually enjoy Vitamin Water. Glaceau took the traditional sports drink and upped the ante. They add extra vitamins and minerals to make their drinks more functional, but at the same time they take extra care to make sure that all of their products have a strong pleasant flavor. The only thing that could really make these better would be if they actually used the juice from the fruits listed in the flavors. I guess this would fall under a different category if they did though, and it might lose its functionality.

This particular bottle is supposed to be blue agave, passion fruit and citrus flavored. The individual flavors don't stand out at all, but it does taste like a hodgepodge of the flavors combined into something new. Maybe it's just passion fruit and citrus. I've never had straight up agave before, but I've had it as a sweetener and I don't really remember it having a distinct taste. Overall it taste rather great. I would definitely pick this over a Gatorade any day. I don't think I will be waiting nearly as long before I pick up another bottle of this.

Does anyone besides the elderly drink, let actually like instant coffee? My grandfather drank it, but I think he may be the only person I've known that has. I don't like coffee to begin with, so an instant version sounds like pure hell. Why do they even make it if no one buys it, well besides the elderly? When you get to a certain age do you just suddenly develop a taste for it, or did it just have it's time and place and once that generation dies out the "art" of instant coffee will be gone?

For as few people who purchase instant coffee I can only assume that even less buy instant tea. I think every mother buys a huge tub of it once. They make one pitcher of it. It takes one glass to realize it's way gross and then the tub sits in the pantry for years never to be opened again. It turns out that all of that unused instant tea on the shelves of grocery stores ends up in the factories of "ghetto" tea companies. You know the ones that are brands you never really heard of that come in huge jugs for less than a dollar. They all seem to have the names of farms, but I don't know why a farm would make iced tea. I could understand juice or some nice chocolate milk, but tea makes no sense.

Galliker's is one such company. They are based out of Pennsylvania and I believe they are also known as the "in-store" brand for Sheetz gas stations. I love Sheetz. I wish more gas stations were like it. They are clean and have a great selection of drinks as well as the "Made to Order" deli section.

I would probably never have picked this up, except the sugar cubes on the label caught my attention. Sure enough this is corn syrup free. That made up my mind, along with the fact that it says "no lemon." It's cheap sugar tea. That is for certain. The thing is sometimes drinks like that have a certain charm. It's on the higher end of the scale of cheap teas. I would never go out of my way to pick it up, but if I saw it in a gas station and it was between this and a Nestea or a Brisk this product would certainly win out.

Derek and I drove to DC and back in two days in order to be judges for the Clear Choice Awards, which is the glass bottling competition. According to Google Maps the trip should take 7.5 hours each way. Due to the fact that we are men of leisure we took our dandy time getting down there and stopped at a bunch of places to pick up some yet to be reviewed drinks. We ended up spending 14 hours getting down to our nation's capital. We got to our hotel at around 1:30am and I finally got to sleep at 3. After that long of travel you want to get a good nights sleep. Especially when you're sleeping in a comfortable hotel bed like I was. Unfortunately we were on a schedule and at 8am my alarm went off and I was up getting ready. Completely groggy I scarfed down a bagel and pounded this juice.

Would I have made it through the day without this juice? Probably. Would I have been as happy? No way. It's delicious. It's grape, pear, apple and peach juice all mixed together. The grape and peach juice is all you really taste though, and their flavors are strong and smooth.

As I said before if a juice is made properly it doesn't need added sugar. Fruit is sweet enough as it is. Welch's is wise. They understand these things and they make a good mass produced juice.

When you read the following please pretend that the guy who announces movie previews is reading it to you. That is the way the artist meant for it to be absorbed.

In a world of plastic bottle sodas, one pop had the courage to climb the top of the mountain. She wasn't a normal birch beer. A pigment disorder rendered her clear, but she wasn't about to let that stop her from reaching the top of FROZEN RUN!

FROZEN RUN is the tale of a young girl who fought the prejudice against her to stand out amongst the plastic bottle sodas. She fought long and hard to shrug off her roots of cheap discount store sodas to climb a mountain in the Pennsylvanian countryside to proclaim to the world that she had a voice and it would be heard.

FROZEN RUN is a tale about love, life, loss and the crispest birch beer you will ever taste. It has the crispness of mint with out the actual mint flavor.

FROZEN RUN. Coming soon to a gas station and mini mart near you. That is if you live in central PA.

About a decade ago Mike, a couple of other friends and myself would go to this crappy bar for "Metal Night." We weren't/aren't super into metal but our friends DJed it and it was something to do. Every week we went and every week about an hour or so in we would get bored and go get pizza and iced tea. Not any iced tea mind you but Fikes tea. It was a really cheap jug of tea that was actually really tasty. We would just kind of disappear from the bar every week and not tell anyone. When people would ask we would jokingly reply that we had a meeting of "Team Cool." That's really a pretty boring story, but it was fun times. The reason I tell you is that I believe Marburger Farms and Fikes to be the same company. The only places I ever found Fikes was in one gas station in Buffalo and one in Zelienople, PA (A terrifying town that is home to the Mercer Family). I'm sure you'll hear all about them at some point. The reason I think they are the same is that I would always stop at that gas station on my way to Pittsburgh to pick some up. When I went a couple of days ago Fikes was nowhere to be found but Marburger Farms was there in the same style bottles, with the same flavors. I don't know if there was a hostile takeover and to be honest I don't care. What I do care about is that this iced tea still exists.

There are a lot of "ghetto" iced teas out there. Most of them aren't fit to feed to swine. This tea is cheap and should be terrible, but it somehow turned out great. It's definitely more sugar water than tea, but it still has a somewhat tea flavor. They use instant tea powder instead of brewing it, which is normally a big no-no in my book, but again they somehow make it work. I think it helps that they actually use fruit juice in their flavoring instead of some weird chemicals. In case you were wondering "mountainberry" is Pennsylvanian for blackberry.

Lime. That is what I 100% expected from this soda. From that statement you can probably gather that I was wrong. This actually ended up being one of the least likely flavors I could imagine; bubble gum.

Let's start this off by saying I normally think bubble gum pop is fairly disgusting. It reminds me too much of the fluoride the dentist used to use on me when I had braces. On first sip I was shocked and put off by the flavor. Seeing as it's a million degrees out and I was dying of thirst I took another swig and I tasted something familiar. This tastes 100% exactly like Bazooka Joe gum. It's like someone took a ray gun to the gum and it became carbonated liquid. It's so strange, but I can't help but like it. I feel like I should buy a bottle for any and all ten year olds in my life.

I just have two questions. 1. Why is it green? 2. Where is my comic strip?

Mike's baby mama has gotten into "extreme couponing." Okay, she's more than just his baby-mama; she's his "live in girlfriend." Okay, they own a house together, have a kid and are as happy as two people who have a screaming five-month-old baby can be. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that she used her newfound magic to get like 30 bottles of these for free. The thing is that Mike never let me know, so I went out and bought a few bottles like a chump.

I know everyone is complaining about it, but it is obscenely hot out. It got up to 91 degrees in Buffalo today. I know to a lot of other areas that probably sounds like a joke, but I am in no way accustomed to the heat and the humidity is the worst. I also spent way too long in an attic today that easily broke 100. I really need to put a thermometer up there to find out for sure. Due to this heat/humidity my normally obscene beverage intake is even higher.

I opened this bottle to have just a glass to cool my down. Now it's all but gone. It's spectacular. The lemonade is tart without having too much of a cheek pinch to it. It would be top grade lemonade to begin with, but the mango is the real gem in here. The flavor is so strong and wonderful. It tastes like I mixed a glass of outstanding lemonade with a glass of
Looza mango juice. It definitely helped cool me down. I think I may need another bottle though. I'm sweating just typing this.sweating just typing this.

When I was a young kid one of my favorite summer activities was to go to amusement parks. That really shouldn't be a shock because what kid doesn't love rides, games and awesome junk food? There were three different parks within an hour from Buffalo; Darien Lake (later became a six flags), Fantasy Island (always seemed smaller and kind of run down) and my favorite, Crystal Beach.

Crystal Beach was a twenty-minute ride across the border into Canada right on Lake Erie. I think it was always my favorite because it had everything that normal amusement parks had, plus it had it's own awesome beach with a rad pier. It also had one of the greatest roller coasters I have ever ridden, The Comet. You could ride it forwards or backwards. It was sheer magic to a little kid.

The other great thing to come from Crystal Beach is the regional drink Loganberry. It is a very thick juice that is a mixture of blackberries and red raspberries. It's so thick that it's almost like an uncarbonated soda. As a kid I absolutely loved the stuff. It was typically sold in glasses that were dispensed from those giant clear machines that constantly mixed the drinks. If I had any idea what they were called I would post a picture.

As an adult it's a bit thick to drink on any sort of regularity. Drinking it every once and a while definitely brings back fond memories. Like the time I won a giant stuffed Nerd (you know the guys on the candy box). Unfortunately the park closed down in 1989. I can't believe it was that long ago. Now it is just condos. I still go to that beach sometimes. The dilapidated boardwalk is sitting there in pieces waiting for kids to jump off the end into the deep water. I think I need to do that soon.

Welcome back to the World Series of Soda Pop. We've had an exciting game thus far and we're now in the bottom of the ninth and team Ginger Beer winning against Root Beer 14 to 11.

First up to bat we have Stewarts. Oh he just barely makes it to first on a bunt. Who on Earth bunts when no one is on base? I guess that's Stewarts. Now approaching the plate is Virgils. It's a fly ball out into left field! Virgils brings it in with a double. We now have Stewarts on third and Virgils on second and Barqs is up to bat. Strike One! He seems a little rattled, but let's see how he does on this next pitch. Oh it's a ground ball right to the third baseman. Virgil's not going anywhere, but at least the bases are now loaded. Cooperstown is stepping up to the plate and he's pointing to the stands. This is a root beer that talks a big game and he's looking for a grand slam to win this game for Root Beer. Here's the first pitch. Strike One! Oh man he didn't even swing at it. He's literally shrugging it off. He looks totally bored out there. The pitcher is winding up. Strike Two! Cooperstown was actually leaning back on his bat for that one. The nerve of this guy! It all boils down to this pitch. The runners seem pretty confident and are taking fairly decent leads off the bases. The pitch is thrown and Cooperstown makes contact, although the ball looked like it got hit by a 6 year old. It was a fly ball that went directly into the second baseman's mitt. He then tagged Virgil's out at third. It seems like Stewarts didn't realize that the ball was caught and before he could get back to third the ball was thrown to Goya and that's three outs ladies and gentleman. Ginger Beer Wins the Pennant! Ginger Beer Wins the Pennant! Cooperstown really screwed the pooch on this one ladies and gentleman. He was cocky because he was named after the baseball hall of fame. The thing he didn't realize was that he actually tastes like watered down store brand root beer. Acidic and lacking much flavor. Ladies and gentleman not only did he cause Root Beer to lose the World Series, but he also may be the worst root beer I have ever tasted.

In recent news, the unsweetened tea world has been turned on its ear recently by newcomer Sokenbicha. When Sokenbicha first arrived on the tea scene no one took much notice. It sat on the shelves in its quasi-fancy bottle gathering dust as it was overlooked for Teas Tea. Then one daring individual took a chance during a sale and the tea world has never been the same. Never has such a richly flavored unsweetened iced tea made so many moves in such a short time.

The company knows that flavor is just as important as no sugar, and they make their ingredients count. Most companies treat their unsweetened teas as bare bones. Water and tealeaves with nothing else added. Sokenbicha sees the folly in that and in this particular flavor they add barley, rice, cinnamon and ginger. The result is truly phenomenal. The taste is primarily a nice smooth tea mixed with what tastes like puffed rice. Added to that are the slightest aftertastes of ginger and cinnamon. It is truly a drink to write back to the small town you grew up in and brag about to those who are destined to die never leave.

This drink is so good and natural tasting that I feel like there should be halved guavas floating in it. It basically tastes like someone walked out into the jungle, collected a bushel of guavas, returned home, got their blender out from the bottom cupboard, put a little water in it, added the 467 guavas they picked and drizzled in a dash of agave nectar and pureed the hell out of it. Then because they aren't the world's greatest roommate they left the blender on the counter unwashed for a couple of days and let the fruit flies build up in numbers until their forces were strong enough to conquer the entire house, which then had to be evacuated and fumigated. Was that delicious guava drink really worth all of the trouble? Yes it was, but since you can get basically the same thing in a bottle of Coba, why don't you take it easy on your roommates?

Wait, so you're telling me that the entire island is populated and subsequently run by geese? I mean I knew it was called Goose Island, but I thought that was just a random name. I had no idea it was so literal. Just to clarify this situation, geese made this soda we're enjoying. If that's true they did a mighty good job. This is one of the finest cream sodas I have ever consumed. It has a very, very heavy vanilla flavor, but not in that way that can be off-putting. I don't feel like I'm downing a bottle of vanilla extract. It's definitely a high quality soda. It's very creamy as well, like a good cream soda should be.

I do have one question though. How come there aren't feathers and feces all over/in the bottles? Oh yes that makes sense, a strict health code. The geese of course have to wear full body goose shaped haz-mat suits. That makes perfect sense as well as provides a hysterical visual in my head. Silly Geese.

It's been awhile since I have delved into the world of unusual Asian beverages. I feel I'm about due to have some added texture in my drink. As a result I find myself sitting down with a good book and a can of grass jelly drink. Let me put my feet up, crack this can open, and begin our little adventure.

Before I even had the can completely open the smell of lychee was in the air. It's sweet, fragrant, and doesn't really smell like something you should consume. My first sip was all liquid, and all lychee. What is it about that fruit that makes it taste vaguely like perfume? I've had some lychee drinks in the past that I just couldn't finish, and I've also had a couple that I found to be quite pleasant. Luckily this can of Mone Lee Shang falls into the latter category. It definitely tastes like a perfume, but in an almost candy-like way. It's similar to those Violet candies that old ladies and Editor Dan love.

Before I took another sip i swirled the can around to mix up the grass jelly. That did the job. My second gulp was full of little gelatinous cubes. I know to a lot of people that would probably be disgusting, but I've grown to love a little texture in my drinks. They taste like a honey sweetened iced tea that was somehow made into Jello. If you pour this drink into a glass, so you can actually see the cubes it even looks like Jello that is the color of iced tea. The flavor of the grass jelly balanced out the lychee even more and made this drink truly enjoyable. I've read that grass jelly drinks are consumed in Asia as a way to beat the heat. It's pretty warm out there today, and I can concur that it helped me to fight the heat.

Last night was a celebration of nerds. I started off the evening by going to see comedian Todd Barry do his thing. It was a lesson in the hysterical and a good time was had by all present. After that is when my nerd-ish tendencies really kicked it up as I went to the opening night 12:30 showing of the last Harry Potter movie. I don't feel the need to ever talk about Harry Potter, but I definitely enjoyed the books and the movies. I was exhausted before I even went to the comedy show, so I knew I was going to need a little liquid help to get me through the night. Good thing for me we've recently acquired an obscene amount of energy drinks that will probably take me the rest of my life to get through.

I chose the Go Fast Berry drink for tonight. Mainly because it was a decent size and I was also thirsty (I mean I AM a Thirsty Dude). Don't worry, it's a larger size can, but it has approximately the same "energy mix" content as your regular sized Red Bull. It's just more fluid so they can work on taste. One thing I can say about Go Fast is that they do work on their flavors. They also take pride in the fact that there are no artificial flavors or preservatives in their drinks. This has blueberry, blackberry and raspberry extract in it. You have to appreciate an energy drink that has some real juice in it. Especially when you can actually taste it like this one. They use Stevia as a sweetener and it's also unfortunately obvious in the taste. It is way better than other "lo-cal" sweeteners, but it still has a distinctive taste that I believe takes away from the flavor. If you are looking to drink healthier, you probably shouldn't be drinking energy drinks, but if you need to this would be the way to go.

PS. Voldemort dies.