Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

It's not often that we come across beverages from Poland. So far it's been a handful of juices and one energy drink, which I bought in Germany. I have Polish heritage, so I would like to taste some more drinks that they produce. That might be as far as my interest in my heritage goes. I just want interesting beverages.

This comes in a misleading bottle. I have found that when something comes in a bottle this shape it is a carbonated soda, but this lacks any sort of bubbles. True to its name it tastes like someone mixed peach and orange juice and added a bunch of sugar making it fairly syrupy. It has a decent enough flavor to it, but because of the bottle my mind keeps thinking that it is flat soda, which removes some of my enjoyment. It's an okay juice drink, but if Tymbark were to simply add some carbonation I think it could have been an exceptional soda, but hey, that's not what they were going for. The world doesn't revolve around my whim.

Guys, I finally cracked the secret. The reason all of these zero calorie, flavored, sparkling waters are all named after things ice related is that they taste their best just above the freezing point. You see when they are that cold the taste of the (normally) artificial sweetener is harder to detect. That's nice because colder drinks are generally more refreshing. The downside of that is that you have to either drink them really fast, water them down with ice, or be a big shot and use whiskey stones. The issue with the latter two solutions are the drinking hole of the bottle (the mouth, I know) isn't big enough for either to fit in, and I like drinking out of bottles, more than glasses. I'm a savage.

This drink tastes like a cleaner, and I somehow mean that in a good way. It doesn't so much taste like chemicals, because it doesn't at all, it more smells like lemon pledge. I know lemon pledge smells like lemons, but it also has a little something else in the odor, and it's perfectly captured in the taste of this beverage. I like the way it tasted, well that is until it started to warm up and the sucralose became more apparent.

Polar has taken this line a bit further than its competition by adding vitamins, antioxidants and caffeine, which they felt the need to list in all caps. Keep in mind the vitamins are at low levels (10% of your daily intake at most), but at least you're getting a little something extra for your time. Now chug folks, you don't want this warming up on you.

Look at what we have here; a bag inside of a box that is full of energy shots. This is either a great or absolutely horrible idea, depending on how you look at it. Actually it just depends on if you have one thing: Self Control.

The real benefit of this is the ridiculously low cost for an energy drink that actually works. If you purchase the larger box the shots end up costing about $.40 each, as opposed to the $3 they would cost if you bought them individually at a store. It also tastes better than most energy shots I've tasted. It's heavy cherry flavor, which falls on the more medicinal side of cherry, is better than the poison taste that most energy shots have. It's also a shot so you slug that thing down and the flavor is gone. It's not something you're meant to swish around your mouth and ponder.

The downfall of this could also be the price/quantity. The sad fact is that most of the people I know who drink energy drinks on any sort of regular basis tend to overdo it with them. I know people who drink 5-6 Red Bulls a day. That is completely obscene and can be in no way healthy. I can imagine those same people filling up a 12oz mug of X Mode and just downing it. That's 12x the recommended serving amount. I know the box says to not drink more than 3oz a day, but you know that is not going to stop the people who want it. That's not a fault in the company; it's a fault in people's chemistry and personality.

If you are the type of person who drinks energy drinks sparingly, or would just like to take a 1oz shot in the morning instead of your normal coffee, this is probably an ideal product for you. If you have an addictive personality, you'll more than likely want to stay away.

Let me start off by saying that I hate the name of this company/line. I'm not a fan when any product (with the exception of feminine care products) is marketed towards one gender. I know just as many males who are concerned about their weight as females. Also, the whole “skinny” thing is a bit demeaning. Skinny people are fine, but so are bigger people, as long as they are happy and healthy. Perhaps someone with a bit more weight on them isn't trying to lose weight, but just likes the tastes of these drinks; does their comfort in their weight keep them from enjoying this?

I'm fairly certain that Arizona (this product's parent company) didn't mean anything by what they did. It's a diet drink and for most people diet means skinny. It's one of those situations in which someone can be offense without knowing/meaning it. Since I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, I will say some nice things about this.

First off, this bottle feels great. It feels like the plastic version of matte paper. It's not glossy and smooth. It has a slight texture to it that just feels great when I hold it. If you see this in a store, just pick it up. I don't know why more companies don't go for this kind of label.

Secondly, and more importantly, this is the best tasting sparkling water I have ever tried. Even though there is sucralose in here it doesn't have that overly diet gross flavor that normally accompanies such a sweetener. It could be because there is also cane sugar in the mix, but more than likely it's because fruit juice was used in here and not garbage artificial flavoring. It really tastes like a light version of mango and orange. I feel like in most of these styles of beverages the flavor is more of an afterthought and it takes a back seat to the taste of the zero calorie sweeteners. Skinny Girl (ugh) made flavor their priority. As a result this isn't a zero calorie drink, but they did get it down to 10 per bottle and only 2g of sugar. Those are quantities I can deal with if it means a better flavor.

It looks like the storm is clearing up. I mean there's still some ominous clouds in the sky, but at least it's stopped raining and if you look to the west you can see the sun peeking out a bit. Bai, that is exactly how I feel about this drink. After the less than stellar coconut and guava version of this I feel like you're finally getting some things right. This is a diet sparkling blood orange drink in which the diet taste isn't punishing your taste buds. The blood orange flavor comes first and it tastes great. It's a hard flavor to mess up, but then again so is guava and look where that got us. The taste of the erythritol/stevia is still there in the aftertaste, but it's fairly subdued. The orange flavor is breaking through those dumb sweetener clouds. I'm glad this is good because up until this carbonated line came around I was really into this companies work.

My ladyfriend, who is a coffee snob, and a great hater of all things that contain zero calorie sweeteners said, “That's not bad at all.” That is some serious high praise from someone such as her. Me, I'm not so impressed. I can't help but concentrate on the taste of the stevia, and the weird aftertaste it leaves. The coffee taste itself is more than decent, but honestly the caramel flavor gets lost in the stevia for me. I know it's there with its little scuba gear on just swimming around in a pool of sweetener. It wants to come out. It wants to shine. Why won't you let it stevia?

Ultimately this is tangerine flavored sugar water. Yes, I know that most beverages these days could be simplified down to sugar water, but this is really just water, sugar, natural and artificial tangerine flavor, and a whole mess of unnecessary stuff. It really tastes like it's the base for a soda that they forgot to add bubbles to. I'm sure there is a place and a market for this, but I'm not sure what it is; probably kids with no discerning taste.

One thing I have learned about people from Mexico based on the beverages I have sampled from there is that they really like things to be sweet; far too sweet for my current tastes. I guess the same could be said for a lot of the beverages that come out of the US though.

While I'm sure the food served at a Guatemalan BBQ would be fantastic to those who feasted on flesh, I'm gonna say that I would be a bit let down if this is the quality of soda they were serving. Grape and Orange pop are the staples of any good backyard shindig, so at least they got the right flavor. They even went as far as to use real sugar. It's just too bad they didn't follow through with the taste. Grape is normally a bold flavor in the soda world, but in here it's almost an afterthought. It has generic sweet soda taste to it and it just seems like not enough of the grape was added. I would politely drink it if it was served to me, but this is nothing I would ever pick on my own. Instead I would be the guy in the corner downing all of the tamales that weren't made with meat.

Okay everyone out there who is making juice, you can give up now if you were just doing it for the flavor. Honey Drop has reached perfection on that front. I could be given a forty gallon drum of this stuff and it wouldn't be enough. I don't care if it's a physical impossibility for me to drink that much liquid in one day, I would try and I would break the rules of physics by succeeding. My enjoyment would surpass science and alternate universes would be exposed by the amount of this juice I would consume if given the opportunity. This is the absolute perfect blend of apple, ginger and lemon juice. I can honestly say that I never would have expected these to be the flavors that created the greatest juice of all time, but there you have it. Oh wait; there is one more ingredient in here as well that that is Manuka honey. It gives the juice that specific sweetness that only honey can, and as an added bonus it leaves a nice tasting film on your lips that lingers around until you lick them later.

Actually, this juice is not only potentially devastatingly good, but it is also healthy. Manuka honey is a known antibiotic and it helps the body resist infections. On top of that vitamins A and C are also prevalent in this mix up.

For the sake of the known universe I advise that this juice be monitored by the government. People should have to present an ID in order to purchase this like with cold medicine. You don't want one person drinking too much, or else universes will collide and we will all most likely perish as a result. It will be a delicious end for one human though.

Come on guys; why do you always have to be such jerks? I run to the corner store to get snacks for everyone and you're all giggling. Obviously something went down while I was gone. I also have a strong sense of taste and after one sip it's obvious that one, or more of you, dumped some beer into my root beer. That is so not cool. I know it's a cheap soda, it's not like it's micro brewed or anything, but still it's my drink and you know I hate beer. I mean it still tastes like the generic root beer it is, but now it also has that unmistakable spoiled taste of your cheap beer underneath the classic root beer flavor. It's not the worst ever, I could still power through it, and someone who didn't hate beer would probably think it was interesting and tasty.

Why is everyone laughing even harder now? You knew I would boast about my strong sense of taste and you took bets as to what I would say was in the drink? It's beer, right? Oh it's actually kombucha? So what you're saying is that I've been drinking root beer mixed with fermented tea? I guess that's not as bad, and you guys pulled a good one on me, but I still think it's kind of gross. I stand by my statement of it tasting like beer. Actually, it tastes like old stale beer. Man, the more I think about how it tastes the less I can handle this. One of you jerks can finish this, and you owe me a new drink!

There is a small island off the coast of Thailand that is uninhabited, that is except for monkeys. Well, monkeys and coconuts. It is also home of the world's most depressed monkey. You see this little guy loves humans, and the other monkeys are total jerks to him. They steal his food, push him out of the trees when he's sleeping and worst of all they chase any human away that comes further inland than the beach. Those other dumb monkeys love playing games with the coconuts as well.

In order to get some revenge/spend some quality time with the humans on the beach, our sad little furry friend goes out at night, after he's been pushed out of a tree, and gathers all the coconuts he can on the beach. The humans then come and pick them up, give him some bananas and they have their own little games. Those few hours before the rest of the monkeys wake up are the best part of the little guy's day.

The humans take all of the coconuts, drain them and sell the liquid. They appreciate all the work the little guy does for them so they named their product after him. “Sad Monkey” didn't have the right ring to it, so they went with Blue Monkey. It's nothing but pure coconut water. It's refreshing, tasty and when you drink it you can think about how it brings joy to what is otherwise a lifetime drenched in misery.

Harney & Sons have proven themselves to be masters of tea. They know how to brew it and they know how to flavor it. If you've ever tasted their products you know each of them is their own special treat. Now they have ventured out past the borders of Tea Town and have traveled to the world of juice drinks. That's an important distinction there, the inclusion of the word drink. The reasoning is that if this bottle had just said juice, I probably would have made a little complaint about added sugar. For some reason because they used the word drink, I think it is more acceptable to have cane sugar in the mix. I know it's all semantics, but I go crazy sometimes.

Yes this is sweet, but so is fruit and this really does taste like you're biting into a mango that has been pumped up with water. A weird visual I know. It doesn't taste watered down per say but it tastes naturally light. There is orange in the title, but I don't taste too much of it in the drink, but I'm okay with that. Orange is a filler juice to me. There is also apple, passionfruit and hibiscus juice in here. Those three all blend together to accompany the mango. This is just great, plain and simple.

Of course I don't think the added sugar is necessary ( I couldn't resist), but at least they were upfront about it, and you know what you're getting yourself into. I don't need the sugar in my diet, but hey sometimes you just have to indulge, and I could indulge in this way more than I probably should.

People over the age of 50 and those in their 20s and 30s have very different prospective on Brooklyn. The place has changed through the decades, as has much of New York. It's been cleaned up. It's been gentrified. It's had most of its seediness removed. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. Sure you can feel safer walking down the street to buy a slice and a soda, but wasn't the danger part of the adventure? Actually, I have no idea. The first time I went to Brooklyn was 1997 and things were well on their way to becoming what it is today. I'm sure if I lived there I would want it to fall somewhere in the middle. I don't have to step over dope fiends on my way home, but I also can afford to live here and don't have to annoyed by all the trendy youngsters. I am officially an old man.

I will say that if the taste of this soda was any indication of the old days, I would take them. This is a really solid birch beer, that's a tad on the sweeter side of things. It's important to note that it is a red birch beer, and there is an almost fruity hint to it. It's also got a nice amount of wintergreen in the mix. I would love to be hanging out on a stoop with a “ghetto blaster” eating a slice and washing it down with a bottle of this soda. Oh man, I'm an old man that really wants pizza.

Ben, I told you I have no idea what you are talking about. To the best of my knowledge I have never seen a cartoon, an adertisement, a drawing, or even graphitti of a hippo wearing an orange tutu dancing around with a sceptor like a little princess. I think you've spent too much time working with those chemicals down at the plant. I mean that's pretty creative, but don't get mad at me when I have no idea what you're talking about and it's more than likely something you made up in your head. What made you think of that anyways? Oh you had a bottle of peach pop that was called Hippo Size. Well, I guess that makes sense. So how was it? Oh that's too bad. It's always a bummer when you get your hopes up and visions of ballerina hippos and then what you are delivered is just a sweet generic tasting soda with a splash of flavor that tastes like candy and not fruit. I'm always shocked when companies make the effort to include cane sugar, but then put out a less than mediocre product. You know what? I'm not surprised that you were daydreaming. You need something to raise your spirits after a disappointment like that.

Once, in high school, a bunch of us went to a grocery store and my friend bought a bottle of Hawaiian Punch. The thing that he did not realize was that he had grabbed a bottle of concentrate and not the ready to drink variety. He took a big gulp and spit the red syrupy concentrate everywhere. I nearly had a similar experience with this pouch of truBrain. This may not taste as much like poison as the other flavor I tried did, but it certainly tastes like it should be mixed into a glass of water.

This is supposed to be strawberry banana flavored, which I guess it is if you took that flavored candy and boiled it down to a potent extract. Oh yeah they also made it taste diet. This is a function “beverage” though. Its purpose is to boost cognitive function by blending blends cognitive enhancers, nootropic nutrients, and neurochemical modulators. When things involve this kind of science chances of them actually tasting good are very low. Everything I have read about this company seems to say that it actually works if you order a subscription and stick with it. That's gonna be a lot of gross tasting pouches, but hey, your brain is worth it, isn't it?

I have this labeled as a juice, but the truth of the matter is that I don't know if there is even a single drop of fruit juice in this bottle. It is water, sugar, a bunch of things that have no business being in foodstuffs, and natural and artificial pineapple flavor. I'm so used to having “orange drink” around here that I never considered that other countries might have different flavors of sugar water that they pass off as juice.

This just tastes like someone let a pineapple soda go flat and then poured a tiny bit of water into it. There is no harshness to the flavor like many pineapple drinks have. I can't tell if it actually tastes like pineapple or if the flavor I'm experiencing is just what companies pass off as pineapple. Either way, I have no need for this in my life, and I'm pretty sure not many people do. If it's a cultural thing I understand. If not I just don't get it.

I made plans for today. They were awesome plans. I was going to hang out with some old friends and we were going to catch up and talk about old times. You see those friends and I have a strong connection, and we don't get together as much as we'd like to anymore, but when we do it's magic.

We all met up at the arranged time and it looked like it was going to be a great day, and then out of nowhere this jerk we went to high school with showed up and just inserted himself into our group. We tried everything we could without being overly rude, but this guy just wouldn't leave. We even tried to ignore him; we would start up conversations that were just about us old friends, and he would constantly interject with tales from his own life that none of us were interested in. I wanted to throw in the towel on this whole day. This jerk had ruined everything, but for the sake of my friends I stuck it out until the end, and you know what? That guy really was a jerk, but the strength of my friendships persevered. Everything that I loved about my friends shined just a little bit brighter, and even though the day didn't end up how I had imagined, I still enjoyed it. If it was between being alone and spending time with these folks, even with that turd around, I would choose them every time.

Oh in case you were wondering my friends were apple, mango, orange, pineapple and ginger. That dumb jerk was of course banana. He always tries to ruin everything. Not this time though. I just wish ginger would have spoken up more. I didn't get as much one on one time with him as I would have wanted.

Here's a question; if someone, such as myself, is not a fan of coffee, but enjoys a coffee beverage, what does that say about said beverage? Is it an exceptional coffee that has changed my mind, or has it gone off route from its coffee roots and in turn actual coffee fans won't like it? I'm going to guess somewhere in the middle. This is cold brewed coffee, milk and sugar. From the name I'm going to assume that the coffee involved equals a double shot of espresso. I think most coffee drinkers would embrace this drink. I could totally see my mom drinking this, but at the same time she is by no means a coffee connoisseur. My ladyfriend on the other hand would probably think this is gross. She is a barista, and thus is a coffee snob.

This tastes like coffee to me, but it's not very bitter. There's not too much sugar in here (7g) and the color is more brown than tan, so I'm going to assume the milk quantity is low as well. It's most definitely not black coffee, but you already knew that's not what you were getting yourself into. I think the enjoyablility rating of this is going to vary from person to person, so give it a try. At least they didn't use stevia like they did in their flavored versions.

Who would have ever guessed that carrot juice could be so good? I mean I am a friend of the carrot, and I enjoy eating them in their crisp, raw form, but I never thought I would take pleasure in drinking their life-juice. Let's be fair, there is a lot of sugar in here. I mean an obscene amount, like 65g. I'm sure that has a lot to do with the enjoyment factor. It also helps that apples, pears and mangos are also in the mix. The combination of all of these fruits and vegetables creates an unusual fruit punch that you won't be seeing in gallon buckets. The flavor here is almost all mango and carrot. The apple falls into the “sweet taste” category and I can't really make out the pear.

This could have been a nice healthy juice if it were freshly concocted without added sweeteners, but the high fructose corn syrup throws any health benefits out the window. It actually makes me feel fairly guilty for having drunk this entire bottle. That is so much unnecessary sugar I just ingested. Well, at least it tasted pretty great.

Fun fact: The Something Natural Company is entirely run by birds. I'm not talking in British slang here; I mean honest to goodness hollow boned, feathered creatures of the sky. The entire reason that these beverages are natural is that the employees don't have the thumbs needed to process…€¦..okay this is just dumb. I think that by insinuating that birds run a company, my idea tank is officially running low. Ignore the birds. There are simply birds on the various labels the company has used in the past. They are nice looking birds, but they are not producing any sort of beverage, well maybe birds nest.

This is a fairly dry beverage, although they do use cane sugar as well as stevia in its production. Even with both of those sweeteners there are only 7g of sugar in this bottle. Not too shabby. The strawberry and peach flavors are both decently strong without being very sweet. That is a nice trick that I'm sure the magicians at the company will reveal the secrets of. At the end of the day this is labeled a sparkling water, but if you called it soda pop and gave it to kids they wouldn't know the difference and it would be much healthier for them. If they put up a fuss, steal my bird lie and they will love it.