Juice - 935 Reviews

There's cranberry juice and there is this cranberry juice. A lot of cranberry juices are too sweet or too tart or too...something. Some of them are so sugary that you can't tell what fruit comprises the juice you're drinking. I understand that the cranberry, or cranius-berrious, is very bitter in its core state and needs some sugar to balance it out. I don't know how someone ate a cranberry and said, "You know Carl? I don't feel bad one iota about dating Karl's ex-wife. They've been broken up for three years and if he can't get over it, that's his problem. Carla and I are in love and there ain't nothing anyone can do about it. Also, do you think that these raw cranberries need sugar? They're very tart and I don't think we can use them for anything."

This is a nice balance and since it's real sugar, you can taste how cranberries were supposed to be tasted, in some of its bitter glory. It's equally delicious whether you're chugging it like some frat dude in a 1980's John Hughes movie, or sipping it like a prep school kid in a 1980's John Hughes movie.

I would like to try to eat a cranberry as-is. I know I could spend something outlandish like $18.99 and get a 2oz. bottle of pure cranberry juice, but what do I look like a guy that has a urinary tract infection? Nope. Clean as a whistle.

Years ago on a trip to Toronto I was introduced to the wonderful beverage bubble tea. My first experience wasn't the greatest. I got plum flavored (I love plums, but I've learned that things plum flavored generally are pretty gross) and I didn't realize you were supposed to chew the tapioca balls. About halfway through I started to get a stomachache, and like any self-respecting person in their early 20's I started to use the tapioca as spitballs. What can I say? I'll always have childish tendencies. The amount of fun I had spitting the tapioca was enough for me to give bubble tea another try on my next trip up north. This time I tried the passion fruit (a flavor I wasn't familiar with) and I've never looked back. To this day it is one of my favorite fruit flavors. I've had the fruit itself a couple of times, but the effort never seemed worth the result. I never pass up the chance to try something passion fruit flavored though.

This juice is great. It's not as thick as nectar, but it's also not super watered down. There's no real way to describe it's flavor other than saying it's tropical. The amazing sweet yet tart taste of the passion fruit it right up in your face.

I bought this because I had never heard of calamansi. The back of the can says it's a Philippine lemon, but a quick Google search brought up that it was more like a lime. Either way, it's some sort of citrus fruit. I was hoping this was going to be really tart and sour, but sadly it wasn't. It's good, but it tastes like a boring citrus drink. There's nothing special to this. Although, I just realized this is the first time I've had juice in a long time. Maybe I should drink less soda and more juice? I doubt that will happen.

Tiny, tiny juice. Also, probably the best fruit punch I've ever had. It's just juice, no sweetener, so it's not thick and syrupy as most fruit punches are. It has your standard apple and grape juices, but the bonus of pineapple and passionfruit as well. If only all fruit juice was like this I think kids would want to drink more juice. It tastes so much better than the generic stuff they are used to.

Tropical punch might trump fruit punch. Fruit punch is a mystery blend of fruits that I'm convinced no one knows except for the manufacturer. Tropical punch has pineapples and banana and mango and passion fruit and more. This drink even splurged on a stockpile of dragon fruit, which I give them all the credit in the world for.

This drink has a little bit of a diet taste to it but you can actually taste most of not all of the fruits. It is kind of fun to drink and try and pick out each of the flavors as they come along.

This is a good diet beverage and I will recommend it to anyone who wants to give it a shot.

What year is this? 1995? Even if you're reading this in "the future", in my opinion, vending machine dollar slots should have improved over the years. Remember when you wanted a can of pop as a kid and you would put your wrinkly and potentially/probably wet dollar bill in the machine? You would get so mad when it would spit back out at you. Then when you grew up, you learned a couple tricks of the trade. Namely, that one trick where you flatten the bill by holding both sides and stretching it over the corner of the machine. Often, that would work.

Now, many years later, technology has soared to places we never could have imagined. I can take pictures with my phone and put them online in seconds. Cars drive with cruise control and auto adjust the speed based on the cars ahead of them. Someone invented a hoverboard that works. Why can't all bills work in the machines? My bill was creased, but fine. It wasn't taped or had bent corners or anything. Just creased. I actually didn't want this drink. I wanted a V8 Splash, which I paid for and the slot I paid for was empty so I paid for the ability to open a door.

I was wicked thirsty and this drink was actually refreshing. I didn't know that they made Brisk in juice format. I thought that it was only iced tea. This has a bit of that "Brisk sting" but it's tolerable. The strawberry is very prominent but you can tell that there is some undiscerning taste in there that you can just safely assume is melon.

Justice has been served. I feed people aloe drinks all of the time and never tell them there are chunks in it. It's fun to watch the concern in their faces. To be fair the bottles are always clear, so if they took a second to look at what they were about to drink they would see the chunks of aloe. This can in a can. A solid, opaque, aluminum can. There were also no indications of the can that it had chunks in it. The concern I loved watching on the faces of other quickly sprung onto mine after the first sip. I even went so far to pour it into a glass, so I could make sure they were supposed to be there. They were. The weirdest part of the chunks is that they are mushy. It is just chunks of the fruit, not aloe if I misled you. Sitting in the juice must have started to break them down. It's a strange sensation. It's nothing like aloe or nada de coco. There are also tiny seeds in it.

Dragon Fruit is sweet and tropical, thus so is this drink. It's really good. This may be the only time I've ever thought that chunks in a drink have taken away from the quality of it. Believe me there were tons of chunk to distract me from the sweet flavor of the juice.

What we have here is a proper drink. Here's how it goes.

Step 1: Birth
When an orange is born, it is just an orange. No one touches it. They don't rub other stuff on it, nothing. Not ignored, just not messed with. This is a fruit in its purest sense.

Step 2: Adolescence
When an orange starts to grow up, it turns into orange drink. Too sweet for normal consumption, good once a year, kids love it. Kids are kids, and kids love kids. Adults don't like kids, so adults don't deal with kids. This isn't a great time for orange.

Step 3: Rebellious Stage
This is an interesting time for an orange. At this stage in the game, he doesn't know if he will go to college, or become an artist, or just be a vagabond and wander the country getting dirt in his pores. He will fraternize with other fruits and end up in punches and mixes like orange mango juice, orange lemon pop, and banana orange smoothies. It is a wonderful time because at this stage, an orange can be whatever it wants to be.

Step 4: Adulthood
Oranges exclusively make up orange juice. Different brands. Different qualities. It all depends on how you were brought up, but at the end of the day, every orange's carton says the same thing; "Orange Juice"

Step 5: Seniority
Oranges in this stage are refined. They know who they are and stick to what they know best. What they know best is water and themselves. The things they know to survive. San Pellegrino Aranciata is seniority aged orange. It's a tad bitter, but with a real orange taste with just enough sweetness to make it drinkable by most everyone. This wonderful drink tastes like a high quality sparkling orange juice. Aged to perfection, this stage is what all oranges strive for.

Milky and fruity? Interesting. As a scientist, I had to buy this drink. I didn't think that it was going to be bad, but I also didn't really know what to expect. With milk, you're kind of rolling dice. Giant dice. Fun dice that you would roll at a local discount home improvement store in order to get a percentage off of your purchase price. After opening the can, I looked in and it was creamy white. It smelled sweet and fruity and actually quite inviting. I poured some out to two different Mike's, one Kevin, and then myself, the third Mike.

I liked it. It was pretty sweet, but, as you could guess, smooth on account of milks doing. The apple was a pretty truthful apple flavor. I might say green apple if I have to pick. It's pretty good. Nothing like Apple Jacks, like you might imagine apple and milk would taste. That's bad for people who love cereal and think it would be a good idea to bottle and sell cereal milk. I've got news for you, friends. You aren't the only one who has thought of it.

If you didn't chuckle at the name of this drink I assure you, you have no soul. It's funny. You know a little wacky word play. I give up. You were tragically born without a sense of humor.

I would have really liked this a lot more if it didn't have dairy in it. It really would have made a great juice. All of the berries really blend well together. Instead it tastes like a liquid version of those Lifesavers Creme Savers candy. Those never sat right with me. Solidified creme is just plain strange.

These come in the tiniest bottles ever. 4oz= awesome for reviews. This is 100% juice, and 100% awesome. Okay so I lied, I wish it were bigger because it's pretty great. I am a sucker for orange mango juice.

Yang-mei is the official name for yum-berry. This is my first adventure in a straight up yum-berry beverage, and I have to tell you I'm not that impressed. It tastes like a foreign fruit punch. Does that make sense? Is that racist somehow? I don't know and I don't really care. It's insanely sweet. I can't even drink this entire 17oz bottle in one sitting. This is my third attempt at it. I think I'm looking at two more. I even had to check to make sure it wasn't a concentrate. It's not, just tons of sugar was involved with it's creation.

When I was growing up I loved spending time at my grandfathers house. There was a pool table, a barn with tons of sweet tools that we would use to make rad stuff, not one, but two incredible tire swings, and most importantly there was tons of fruit growing all over his property. There were gardens full of strawberries and raspberries, an apple orchard, and my possible favorite a giant cherry tree. I would wait all year for those cherries to be ripe. Then I would fill up bushels of cherries, hide somewhere and eat them until I got sick. Let me tell you fruit gut rot is no joking manner. This soda is made with organic cherry juice, and it reminds me of those days in late summer, sitting on top of the chicken coup listening to EMF on my Walkman and pounding cherries. It's not overly sweet or overly carbonated. It's pretty great. That cherry tree fell down a few years ago in a storm, but since then bats infested the barn. Then an owl chased them out and it lives there now. So that's pretty sweet.

Shit Sandwich.

After the ridiculous amounts of soda we've been drinking lately this is a nice change. Everything has been so overly sweet, and to be honest I've been getting some stomachaches. I need a bit of a break from the sugar. This is a soda with no sweeteners added. Now that is pretty awesome. The Sparkling Organics line is 70% juice. That is something I really appreciate. It's really light and bursting with citrus flavor. I need more drinks like this so I can kiss my gut rot goodbye.

This is my first mangosteen juice. I've had drinks that were flavored with it, but never an actual juice. I had expected it to be extremely harsh, like other "superfruit" juices I've drank in the past. It turns out it's pretty darn smooth. To me it tastes like a plum, if plums were a citrus fruit.
I didn't know it until today, but mangosteen is the "Queen of Fruit." Companies also claim it can cure cancer, dysentery, and bacterial infections. If any of that is actually true this certainly is a magical fruit with super powers. I will definitely be keeping an eye out for other mangosteen beverages.

Ahh adulthood. You'd made it, little guy. You made it through high school and did well on your worthless SATs. You went to community college for general education until you raised enough money working at your dad's shoe store, Paul's Boutique, to go to a four year school and study what you've always wanted to; accounting. You got your associates degree in science, which is virtually worthless as you didn't do anything scientific and you're pretty sure that they just give AS's away but at least you've got something to show for two of the easiest years of your life. Then, when attending university, you met a nice brunette with sweet cans, not that it matters (good job, son) and started dating. Not letting your girlfriend get in the way of your studies and not letting your studies get in the way of your apprenticeship at that abomination you call a bank, what? It's true. Son, they have one teller and I'm sure that she's no less than ninety years old. Either way, congratulations. Now you're married for going on five years, have one girl and another baby of a mystery sex...your mother doesn't understand why you won't just find out what it's going to be. Anyhow, you've really made something of yourself. To reward you, I've purchased this single bottle of Wegman's Sicilian Lemon Frizzante. It's an Italian soda from thousands of miles from Italy, regardless of its multiple references to the "Boot" region of Europe. Lemonade is great, but this is more mature, bolder, and bitterer, like life. Yes, son, this is like the lemonade of life. It's mostly pretty sweet but at times it can be bitter but you know that the sweetness will come back. It's not like kids lemonade that's all sugar all the time. That stuff is for kids and the poor. What? I can say whatever I want under my own roof. I worked hard at my shoe store for over 30 years, honing my craft and touching all sorts of gross feet. Anyhow, congratulations on your one bottle of pop that I've bought you. I hope you like it. I know that I did the other three.

Fans of Big Red gum take note: this drink is for you. I was expecting this to taste like a mouth full of cinnamon, or a fireball candy. To my surprise, it tastes like liquid Big Red gum. It has a strong cinnamon smell, but the taste is flavorful and mild. The cinnamon taste is rounded out by dried persimmon. There's also ginger in this, but it's so faint I can't even taste it. I can't say I love this drink, because I don't see myself picking this up again. It tastes really good, but I'm not that crazy about cinnamon. But if you really like cinnamon, definitely try this drink.

Remember when carrot juice started showing up in mainstream consumerism? My first memory of it was in V8 splash. I was shocked because my sister who won't eat anything and has a natural abhorrence of carrots started drinking it all the time. My sister and carrots are like Dracula and Van Helsing, so you can understand my confusion. She claimed it didn't taste like carrots at all, but I could surely taste them in there. I think she would probably ignite as if daylight were touching here skin if she ever had the Bolthouse Farms carrot juice. Now that is straight up liquefied carrots.

So here comes Square with their fruit and carrot combinations. Mike loved their apple & carrot drink, and he told me I should check out another one of their flavors, and here I am. I would have preferred that it was more than 30% juice, but you take what you can get. There is twice as much carrot in here as there is peach juice, yet peach is the stronger of the two flavors. There's a nice subtle carrot undertone, which I appreciate. Maybe it's better off that it's not 100% juice. The carrot flavor may be too overpowering in that scenario.

My only real complaint with this is that sugar is the second ingredient. I get it, people like sweet drinks. That's not my complaint. It's the fact that further down the list they also threw in glucose-fructose syrup. Does that really need to be there? I'm sure it would have been sweet enough with just the sugar.

I'm of the opinion that sugar does not need to be added to juices. Fruit is naturally sweet and delicious. When companies add a sweetener I assume it's because of one of two things: A. They work for the Dental Association of America, so they want it candy sweet in order to cause tooth rot. This will ensure that dentists everywhere are never out of work. I bet they even have a secret handshake, and those are the coolest. I think we need to make one up for Thirsty Dudes. - or - B. They pick their fruit before it's totally ripe in order to have a quicker turnover, thus creating greater profits. I think my D.A.A. scenario is more probably. Mainly because of the sweet handshake it involves. I don't want to even contemplate that not existing.
Foco does add sugar to their juices. Fortunately they are smart enough to have more juice than sugar. You would not believe how many drinks have the ingredients in the following order: water, sugar, and fruit juice. It's really obscene. Foco, you may have not given us the best possible juice you could, but you did make it a lot better than it could have been. I'm okay with drinking a lightly sweetened mango juice. Especially when they cost fifty cents per can.