United States - 4098 Reviews

Welcome to 1987. I'm eight years old and my two cousins are sleeping over at my house, and I'll be damned if we're not going to beat The Legend of Zelda! My mom got us stocked up on brownies, Twizzlers and Jolt. She wanted to get us store brand cola, but after a lot of begging I convinced her to shell out the cash to get the Jolt. By begging I mean promising I would do a ton of yard work to make up for it. I'll do it, but it will be half-assed by golly! She thought I wanted it because it looks a lot cooler compared to the store brand, but in reality I knew that we were going to need the extra caffeine punch if we were going to make it to Ganon.

You don't see Jolt soda in stores too much these days. You can still find their cans of energy drink, but the actual soda isn't as common. I had never seen this flavor before until I got it at Village Candy in Sewickley, PA. It differs from modern energy drinks because it doesn't have all the extra chemicals in it, just a butt load of caffeine. I actually enjoyed this way more than I expected. I was expecting this to be a cherry cola, but it's a cherry/orange mix (it actually has orange juice as an ingredient) with no cola. It's slightly candied flavor, but not as much as a lot of sodas. I appreciate that this company still exists and that they explored flavors other than straight cola.

Did we beat the game? Eventually, but not that night. We did stay up obscenely late for 8 year olds (probably 1am). That's what Jolt was to me though. It was for those nights when I needed to stay up for some menial task. It's pretty much the same way I look at energy drinks nowadays.

You kind of know what this is going to taste like. Need I make the comparison? Alright, if you need me to. This tastes like Arizona Green Tea. There, I did it. I sank down to your level and just came out and did it. I don't like that I had to do that, but it's true.

Here's the thing, though; it's better than Arizona because it uses real cane sugar. It's a matter of ingredients. If you have one that uses corn syrup and one that uses all natural ingredients you would be completely stupid to not choose the natural one. They are that similar that after all the drinks that I've drank, the two taste the same.

You are not stupid, and you are not beneath me, I feel that I must address that, but I might say that if you have a side-by-side and they are only fifty cents difference and you choose Arizona over this, you might want to get your head inspected.

A couple weeks ago was the annual Gathering of the Juggalos. Sadly I did not attend (nor have I ever), but I can still enjoy the festival from the comfort of my home thanks to blogs, digital cameras, and Youtube. My favorite article thus far is Buzz Feed's 89 Things I Learned at the Gathering of the Juggalos.

Every year, as I mull over the thousand's of photos of ICP fans camping in the middle of the woods, I always learn something. This year I learned that ICP prefers to use 2 liters of diet Faygo to drench the crowd during their set. Their reasoning apparently is because it's less sticky than the high fructose corn syrup bottles and they are also physically lighter so they are able to throw them much farther into the crowd. I can't really attest to either of those, but I'll take their word on it because they definitely have more experience with Faygo than I do.

The one thing I can comment on is the taste. This is a pretty standard cream soda, there's nothing special about it. It has a nice vanilla flavor, but the fake sugar aftertaste cuts right though it. While it's not the worst diet pop I've ever had, I've had much better. Maybe I should go to the mall and spray the rest of this on some juggalos. They'd probably give me a high five and start chanting "fam-il-y! fam-il-y! fam-il-y!"

I typically don't drink energy drinks. It's because I have something against them. You thought I was going to say something clichè like "It's not like I have anything against them..." and have some other excuse, I do and the reason is that they typically taste like sweet garbage. You heard me, sweet garbage.

My mom went to the grocery store and, once again, ran into some promoter of drinks, dropped my name, and got free stuff. I don't know what she's telling people, but I hope that she embellishes a little bit because "My son is a thirsty dude." doesn't really work, or at least I think "My son runs an award winning website where he and other highly paid and equally handsome business associates decide the fate of drinks and their manufacturers." sounds a whole lot more convincing. My God, I hope that we don't run a company out of business. I don't think that even the worst reviewed drink company deserves that.

Wave, hopefully not taking their name from the most annoying in event group participation activities because as awesome as it looks when everyone does it, only six people out of 25,000 do it and it looks like some creeper grabbed the butt of six people, doesn't taste bad. I know; an accomplishment in itself. It's fruity and although tastes like an energy drink at the end of the day, it could be way worse. I made it probably three quarters through the can, and that's saying a lot because I don't really drink energy drinks at all. That will not count against their final score. Let it be known.

I might actually recommend this drink as an alternative to Red Bull because I feel like they've become complacent in their standing of being the staple energy drink and a lot of other companies have come out since them and stepped up the game. If you are a fan of energy drinks, try this. I think you'll like it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again 2011 is the summer of lemonade. The amount I have consumed it absolutely ridiculous. I can't believe it has taken me so long to try the Bolthouse Farms version, as I am a huge fan of their beverages. Wrap your brain grapes around that.

This is thicker than most lemonades. It doesn't have the consistency of a smoothie, but it's way denser than your average glass of lemon water. The thickness is due to the mango puree they use to flavor it. It really is a perfect blend of lemon and mango. It's more of a breakfast drink. I can see waking up making a nice large breakfast and settling down on my nonexistent back porch to enjoy it with a glass of this lemonade.

There is a common misconception in this world that the life of a hula girl is an easy one. The truth is nothing could be further from the truth. They are required to wake up an hour before dawn in order to get a proper workout before the brutal sun rises. Said work out included power lifting crates of pineapples and running four miles barefoot over a trail of discarded pineapple "shells" as wild boars chase them. They do this in order to keep up their stamina. After a three-minute rest period, each hula girl must then eat 1/4 of her weight of a mixture of pork and poi in order to keep up her "plump" body type. There is a fine line that they must walk between being healthy and in shape and not becoming skinny. After gorging themselves the girls go out to their first jobs of the day on tourist boats. After the first eight hours they are allowed 30 minutes of personal time before they must report to the luau for the nights festivities. After several more hours of grueling dancing they are allowed to pass out for a few short hours before they must rise and begin it all again.

In the olden days the girls would often collapse from exhaustion. Then energy drinks came onto the scene. Many of the girls refused to drink them because they tasted foreign and did not fit in with the tastes of their culture. Now that Cintron has released this Pineapple Passion energy drink 99.4% of all hula girls are on board. When you first pull it out of the fridge and drink it while it's nice and cold it doesn't taste like an energy drink at all. It actually tastes like a nice pineapple pop. As it warms up the chemical flavor raises it's head more and more. If you drink this over a half hour, by the end it will be kind of gross, and the pineapple flavoring will become nothing more than an afterthought. I suggest you drink it ice cold and bask in its glory that way. Celebrate the salvation of the hula girl!

Much like the other flavor of Tweaker I had, this is pretty damn good. I don't like it as much as the grape, but in the world of energy shots it's definitely in the top tier as far as taste goes. This has a mixed berry taste to it, but has a little bit more chemical aftertaste than the grape did. It definitely works in the energy department as well. I was feeling a little sleepy here at Spiral Scratch but now I'm chair dancing to Crystal Castles.

For far too long Gatorade ran the sports drink world with its syrupy fluids. Other contenders came along such as Powerade that really did not step up their game. The Vitamin Water came onto the scene. I don't know if it really counts, but I'm going to say it does. They didn't use HFCS so their drinks had a thinner consistency. Now Greater Than comes onto the scene. They are here to let the world know that sports drinks can be all natural and still be hydrating and refreshing.

To boil it down to me this is like coconut water mixed with Gatorade, but it's sweetened with beet sugar. At first it's kind of strange, but after two sips I got used to it and it was enjoyable. It really tastes like someone mixed a little classic orange Gatorade into a bottle of plain coconut water. I drank this after spending a couple of hours in my sweatbox of a print shop, and I definitely felt refreshed. I'll have to try it again after a long bike ride and see how it works.

This, to me, could be the start of my drink obsession. My parents used to bring me to the fair every year when I was a kid. Young like four probably. Could be less. Every year, I remember going to get birch beer. It was the same booth in the same place every single year and after awhile, I would look forward to it. My parents would get me a small cup of birch beer and that would be that. The rides were second to me getting this drink. I "grew up" and we stopped going to the fair. Probably because for the six of us it was going to cost my dad over a hundred dollars after parking, food, admission, and probably some rides and games. Midway, if you will.

I probably took a good ten to fifteen years off from going to the fair. It just wasn't important and none of my friends drove and there were fairs that were closer that we would go to. You don't have to go to every fair. Little did I know that my little mind still held on to my true love; that birch beer.

I went a few years back and it slipped my mind and all I bought was pulled taffy which I then forgot I bought, tried to eat two or three days later, realized that there is about a one day span where you can eat it, and discouragingly had to throw it away. Not this year, man. Same place. It was like it never left. I asked the ladies behind the counter if it could be bought anywhere in bottles or cans and they said you can only get it at "the fair". I don't know if it's a traveling thing or what, but if it was ever sold in stores or even there in some intimate and overpriced six pack, you know I'd lose my mind and buy like seventeen cases and be the happiest kid ever.

Why would I not forget it? It's just a drink and yeah, the last time I had it, I was probably like ten years old, but let me tell you; you don't forget. Today brought it all back. It's super dark and very rich. It's got all the right spices and is perfectly sweetened. There might have been anise or licorice and I'm sure if I asked them they wouldn't have told me. It was very dark in color, too. Not too carbonated but far from flat. Just an explosion of flavor every sip. I've had some that compare, none that I can do so now, but it's good.

I can't find much on the company. Only that it's owned by a local couple, who celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary in 2009. I would like to let them know that they turned me into the monster that I am today and legitimately thank them.

M - Oh my god Jenny like what are you doing?
J - I'm like totally talking to Brad on the other line. He's such a hunk!
M - As if! He doesn't even have a convertible! You should like totally hang up on him and pick me up so we can go to the mall.
J - But Mindy we were just at the mall yesterday. Actually we've been to the mall everyday for the past 8 months. We even went on Xmas.
M - I know aren't we like totally hardcore! So just shut up. You know you love the mall as much as I do, so get your skinny little butt in your Mustang and drive over here. I hear that the mall diner totally has a new root beer.
J - OH MY GOD! I was totally just talking to Brad about that! He told me that it doesn't taste so much like a root beer. He said it's more like a cola that was brewed with some of the ingredients that were left over from a batch of high quality root beer. He said he didn't even realize that it was a root beer until he was halfway done and read the label! Can you believe that! What a dreamboat! He also said that it has a decent amount of vanilla in it and something else that might be a total butt load of wintergreen or maybe some cloves. He just kept going on and on about how awesome it was though.
M - Jenny, what the hell just happened there? You totally sounded like you were from the Midwest or something.
J - Mindy we live in rural Iowa, we do live in the Midwest, we just like totally love the mall.
M - Whatever girl. Just come pick me up. That food court is calling our names.

If I had to choose the number one achievement of the South I think I would have to choose sweet tea. Sure they gave us submarines, miniature golf and antibiotics, but do any of those really hold a candle to sweet tea? It's so refreshing and tasty.

Even though Tradewinds has a tropical ocean scene on their can they make a decent sweet tea. With every sip I feel like I'm sitting in a rocking chair on my front porch and kudzu is growing all over my property. I have an old yellow dog laying next to me, and a 12-gauge shotgun sitting across my lap. It's the southern dream, and this tea brought it all on. Of course people who are from the south whose grandmothers made sweet tea all the time will probably say it tastes all wrong. I wouldn't believe them. Tell them to invent something more important than beverages.

Herbert is a simple man. He goes to work every day and is always five minutes early. He's never been in trouble with the police and has never as much as received a speeding ticket. He pays his taxes on time and never complains about the weather. Herbert is the ideal citizen. Herbert went into work one day and in the cubicle next to him was a new hire. A young man called Bartholomew or, as the nameplate on his desk said, Bart.

Bart came into work fifteen minutes late almost every day, wore sneakers with a wrinkled suit, and wore headphones blasting metal at unsafe volumes. Herbert didn't mind because the partition between them did a good job of blocking the sound. Bart wasn't a bad kid, just young. One day, Bart brought in a case of something and Herbert curiously asked him what it was. Bart told him it was Cintron Cranberry Splash and offered one to him. Who was Herbert to refuse a gift? "Such a nice gesture. Sure I'll have one,” said Herbert. Herbert drank it and thought it was very good. Slightly carbonated with a nice cranberry taste. Herbert thought that it tastes like a sweeter carbonated version of Ocean Spray's basic cranberry juice. All of a sudden, something happened. Herbert switched his radio involuntarily from Daryl Hall's I'm In A Philly Mood to a local, independent hard rock station. His hand grabbed a black marker and drew a barbed wire tattoo on his bicep. "What's going on!?" exclaimed Herbert. Bart looked over the partition and said, "Hey, dude. Did you like that energy drink I gave you? They're pretty rad. I drank two today." Herbert was shocked. He didn't even know it was an energy drink. "It didn't taste like an energy drink. I didn't know. I don't drink stuff like that." Bart noticed his new barbed wire tattoo and said, "Woah, dude! We've got the same tattoo." Bart lifted up his shirt to show the exact tattoo on his arm.

Hebert used his first sick day of his life that day to go home, sleep off his caffeine high, and scrub his magic marker tattoo off his arm. "Never again", he promised.

Yesterday I did a dumb thing, a deliciously dumb thing. I had cake for breakfast. No, not your average birthday cake, it was an intense brownie cake with a cookie bottom and cookies on the side. Needless to say, it was an awesome cake, but not for breakfast. I had it, loved it, and promptly crashed. So much sugar so early in the day was, and is, a mistake. That's where this tea comes in.

After a day of sugar, I've got to calm down and drink some water and some unsweetened tea. This satisfied both of those as far as I'm concerned. It's a nice black tea with a touch of Dove Creek mint. What does Dove Creek mint taste like? Normal mint. It's an indigenous thing. That's one thing that I like about Texas Tea is that they use all ingredients from in and around Texas. It's just the right amount of mint that gives it a flavor but doesn't take away from the fact that it's an unsweetened tea.

Do you like unsweetened tea? You'll love it. Do you hate when people mess with your tea like I do when I specifically order an unsweetened tea at a restaurant and they ask if I want any sugar with it? Yeah. Me too. You and I should go to dinner together.

John Goodman is a man amongst men. I have never seen him in a role that I didn't absolutely love. Keep in mind that I don't think I've seen anything he's done since the early 2000's. He may be the most famous for his roles as Dan Conner and Walter Sobchak (which are both incredible), but for my money there is never a better moment of him on the silver screen than when he states "You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of goddamn nerds.....NERDS!" I think that might be the most commonly said phrase by Editor Dan. Incredible. It's because of that speech that I told the other Thirsty Dudes that I was going to review this drink.

The NERD company stresses that their product is not just an energy drink, it is also a focus drink. On top of your normal energy drink chemical ingredients it also has Vinpocetine, Huperzine-A, Chinese Ginkgo Biloba and DMAE in it, which are cognitive enhancers. I drank this can before I went to band practice today, and I wasn't even thinking about the focus part until I just sat down to write this. I think it actually really works. In hindsight I feel like I was way more focused on what I was playing. So it's got that going for it.

Now on to the fun stuff. As a scientist I can assure you that it is a scientific fact that most energy drinks taste like various melted down types of candy. It's something that I both hate and love about them. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes your dreams have come true. This does in fact remind me of liquefied Nerds candy. It may be a psychosomatic thing, but I had my ladyfriend try it and she also confirmed it. This is one tasty, tasty energy/focus drink. It's one of the best energy based drinks I've ever tasted. Also the company wants to be known as a study aid and avoids being associated with anything extreme or bar/club events. To quote them "Basically, if you want to study drink NERD, if you want party drink a Red Bull. " That is something I can get behind. Hopefully this will get the popularity it deserves. Like the company told us

Now in the eyes of your father, your maker and your coach: go get some NERD!

It had been a long day in the studio. Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band we're hard at work recording their "come back" album The Rising. Today had been particularly hard. The Boss was being a real taskmaster and was laying it really heavy on Little Steven. You see all of the music was done being tracked, and now they were working on vocals. Being the professional he is Bruce hit all his parts in one take. When I say one take I mean it. He sang all 15 songs in a row with no breaks, one time through. He didn't even wait for the Brendan O'Brien to load the next track. It sang them all a cappella while the tape ran. It was truly a sight to behold. After he was done and the tracks had been added to the proper song is when the problems started. Little Steven went into the booth to sing his harmonies and he just couldn't hit them because of a dry throat. Bruce just kept telling him to drink some water, but Steven protested. You see he was under contract with HBO for his work in The Sopranos. Part of that contract was that he could only imbibe Sopranos brand soda. Normally he would sneak water and no one would be the wiser, but in the studio they were filming everything for a documentary. He would obviously get caught and sued. Things got so bad that Clarence had to drive all the way out to Newbridge, NJ to pick him up a couple of bottles. Since the show was wrapping up production of the soda had stopped and all the store had left was the amaretto flavor. Little Steven downed a bottle of this strange fake liquor soda with its almond flavoring that is far too strong to seem natural in a soda. Seriously I feel like it's supposed to be mixed with something like the actual liquor. Little Steven loves almonds and it was still hard for him to get through an entire bottle, but he is a champ and he did it. He then marched right into that vocal booth and I'll be damned if he didn't give one of the best performances of his life.

You don't believe me? Watch the video footage it's all in there.

PS. Tony totally dies at the end of the series. I don't care what anyone else says. The screen goes blank like when he got shot before, except this time the music cuts dead instead of fading out. Deal with it.

Is there a juice shortage in the world? If not, does Wegmans think that there is? The last one of these I had was "100% Sparkling Fruit Juice." Now we're down to 50%. Is this going to be a continual decrease? In a few months will there be 12% juice? It will be like a selling point. "Now containing .5% actual fruit juice." People will think it's a good thing and eat it up.

Seriously though, why is this only 50%? Do they think these particular juices would be too strong if sold at maximum capacity? Are they trying to cut down on the sugar? Either way it's still pretty good. The flavor is strong. It tastes like a slightly watered down blend of the two juices it represents. If it were a little bit stronger I would absolutely love it. Maybe 75% is the way to go. I'm talking to you Danny!

Grape Kool-Aid. That's EXACTLY what this tastes like. Sure there's an aftertaste of nasty energy stuff that lingers in your mouth for a few minutes. But as many know, in the world of energy drinks (especially energy shots), it's hard to find one that doesn't taste like chemicals. Sure grape Kool-Aid isn't the greatest flavor of all time, but it's much better and tolerable than liquid death. I picked up a few different flavors of these energy shots at Dollar Tree last weekend. I feared them because Dollar Tree is usually the place where drinks go to die. This has renewed my faith in them and I look forward to trying the other flavors now.

Every review we've done for the Lipton PureLeaf line all say basically the same thing: Brisk is absolutely terrible, but Lipton has redeemed themselves with this line. It's repetitive, but true. The Brisk peach tea is basically undrinkable in my eyes. This on the other hand is very nice. I think there could be a tad less sugar, but other than that it's great. It's a nice black tea flavor with a slightly overpowered by an authentic peach taste. There is no peaches listed in the ingredients, but I expect they fall somewhere under the natural flavors. Above that apple juice is listed. Why aren't there more apple teas? That would be great. Get on that Lipton, but make sure it's included in this line.

Sit down kids; I have a story to tell you. It's about Celon's Mythical Creme Soda. For hundreds of years people have thought it didn't exist. It was the holy grail of cream soda's to some people. But I'm here to tell you that it's real, and I've had it! It's a smooth cream soda with a really nice vanilla/almond taste to it. I know the rumors said it was a bitter cream soda but they were wrong. The other rumor about it being made of the blood of Celon is wrong too. What's that? No I can't divulge where I got the bottle. Let's just say I have a feeling the National Historical Society is going to be really mad in the morning and I might have to flee to Canada.

Dear Red Ribbon,
Where do you come off? Your name might as well have a self appointed crown on top of it. Also, on your label it says "The Taste Test Winner". What taste test? THE taste test? Were there any other entries in this taste test? I demand a recount! Don't get me wrong; your root beer is good. It has a great smell to it, but the taste isn't anything special. It is definitely nothing to write home about, let alone deserve to win a taste testing. The only taste test I can see this possibly winning is "The Annual Newbridge Mediocre Root Beer Competition".

Sincerely,
Derek


**********************EDIT**********************
We got an email from Vito who has recently taken over the Natrona Bottling Company which makes this soda. When he took over he revamped the companies labels and agreed that the taste test winner claim was well...dumb. I changed the picture to the new label. He also asked if we would have another go with the root beer. Here I am doing just that, and unfortunately I'm not too impressed. It's not bad by any means, but it doesn't stick out. Like Derek said, it has a nice strong smell, but the flavor isn't quite there. It reminds me of store brand root beer, except it's made with real sugar, so it's a bit better.
-Jason