United States - 4098 Reviews

Number one: Eww. Banana. Number two: this isn't bad. Even with dumb banana hanging around it's not bad. Banana plays the supporting role in this drink while the rest of the heavy lifting is accomplished by quinoa. Normally I think that quinoa smells like urinal cakes so it's nice to see that it's doing something a little differently today.

This is a smoothie but it might not be for the faint of heart. It's slightly, oh so very slightly gritty. If you don't know that it's coming, you might be turned off but if you've ever drank a smoothie before, or if you aren't a gigantic wimp, you will be fine. You're not drinking sand here. It's a proper drink. It's thinner than, say, lassi but thick enough to have some element of substance. I don't feel it lingering around in my gums so it's not sticking. I suppose, if I had to give banana credit: it does taste like banana. Everything is natural in here and you shouldn't worry about anything tasting like it shouldn't. There are no candied bananas in here. All natural, mushed up bananas. Look, bananas suck but if you've got to eat them, drink them instead. This is not bad.

The holidays are (finally) over and now we're left with the broken reindeer yard figures and "slightly used" inflatable snowmen. We're also left with the skids of Christmas tea. They certainly do churn those cats out and having a "basically mother-in-law" that works at the general merchandise section of a grocery store, now I am the proud owner of all sorts of...things.

This thing is a fine mint tea. It has loads of mint and different varieties of mint; spearmint and peppermint. Not just one and maybe more. The green tea...eh...it's not really bitey but the mint is so present that it makes up for it. I do enjoy a good, quality green tea but the mint seems to be filling up my desire for the cheek pinching power of green tea.

Oh, panex red, my favorite of the flavors. But seriously folks, what the heck is this? I don't know what flavor this is. It's made with Korean Red Ginseng. Cool. What does that mean? Is that raspberry? Who knows? You know what else? Who cares? This is actually really good. Oh, it's just the type of ginseng used, and not an added flavor? Well, that makes sense then.

This doesn't have the bitterness that one might expect in a ginseng drink. Check. It makes you not care that you may not know what you're drinking. Look, I don't think that they're trying to poison me. Like everything else you cram down your gullet, there are ingredients in there but they're half unreadable vitamins and minerals. The other half is all natural ingredients that are in everything. I guess that Korean Red Ginseng just naturally tastes good and we shouldn't care. Add a little carbonation and you've got something nice. If it tastes good, drink it. That's what I've literally never said before one time in my life.

Soda has existed since the 17th century. It's had a wild ride that started from flavoring naturally carbonated mineral waters, through infusing water with carbon dioxide bubbles to where we are today. It's an interesting history, but there is one part of it that I need explained to me; at what point did companies decide that people needed their sodas to be laden with so much sugar/sweeteners? They took a beverage that was once used for its health benefits (some probably imagined i.e. Moxie and soft brain) to a drink that has been linked to obesity and other health issues. Sure I enjoy a nice sweet soda, but if that wasn't what was fed to me as a kid I wouldn't miss the sugar and I think if I drank one now for the first time ever I would proclaim it to be far too sweet, and not be able to understand how people enjoyed it. All one needs is bubbles and flavor. Sure the sugar brings out the flavor a little more, but it only takes a little bit of it to do that. Dry knows this and used that practice in their soda making. This 12oz soda has 16g of sugar. A can of Coke of the same size has 39g. That is an insane difference. I would never say that this soda I'm drinking wasn't sweet; it's just not more sweetener than flavor. Also, the health difference is enormous.

The sugar content does make a big difference in the flavor as well. It has a real ginger flavor to it, and does not taste candied. The ginger flavor is actually fantastic, and this is what I want out of a ginger ale. It's not a ginger beer, but it's on that same road. Normally ginger ale always feels like it's on the access road that runs parallel to the highway that ginger beer travels. It's the highway of kings.

I have never been to a spa. I feel like the intended relaxation would fail and I would be left feeling anxious. You know, now that I think about it I really don't know what exactly happens at a spa. I imagine massages are the norm, and that I'm okay with. It's the facials, mud baths (do those exist outside of movies?), and things like that which leave me uncomfortable. I feel like my version of relaxation is very different from the bulk of society. I don't even truly know what my relaxation is, but it's not just awkwardly sitting somewhere with goop on me, constantly wondering how much time I have left. Wow, I sound like turd dude there, but honestly is everything…€¦..right?

Why am I talking about spas? Well, to me this drink tastes like what I imagine you would be served at such a establishment. Now I doubt spas serve anything carbonated, and probably just give everyone cucumber infused water or something along those lines, but to me this is the taste of self-indulgence and relaxation. Actually it tastes like someone overly infused some water with raspberries and added a touch of sugar as well as a few botanicals. It's light but still fruity, just the way I like it. It's the taste of reflection, if you want to be arty about it. Even though it has natural caffeine in it it's the type of beverage I can sip and relax and go over my life without having a freak out. This company is all about balance, and I have to say that it comes across in the way their beverages affect me. It makes me want to sip on a can and then walk through a portion of the woods where I am sure to not encounter another human and just take it all in.

I'd like to stress that this is not a relaxation drink in the way Marley's Mellow Moods are. It's not going to put you to sleep. It's simply going to let you settle and reflect. You know what if this was involved with a spa maybe I would put up with people touching my face (which I hate). At least the anxiety would be turned down to a minimum.

It's not commonly known that Dr Dre not only has a successful headphones company to go alongside his rap career, but he also dabbles in farming, specifically beets. Yeah, there is really no reason behind it other than he thought it would be funny to have Beets by Dre as well as Beats by Dre. Of course all of this is only true in a fever dream in my brain, but man I really wish it were the case and that man had such a great sense of humor. Seriously think about it. His tagline could be “Straight Outta Compost.”

I would like to think that Suja would get their beets that they juice exclusively from Dre, because they have their finger on the pulse of what's cool from 15-25 years ago. I will only listen to The Chronic while I drink this juice. Okay, that's not true, I'm listening to Belle and Sebastian, because I am a tender, sensitive man, and not hard from the streets. I am drinking the juice though, and it pretty nice. It's a mixture of apple, carrot, orange, beet, banana, and pineapple juice with some turmeric thrown in. I could obviously do without the banana, because I have taste buds, but other than that this leaves a wonderful taste explosion in your mouth. It has that nice dirty, rooty flavor from the beets and carrots. It's a flavor that never sounds good when you describe it, but I personally really like it. The apple juice is there mainly as a base and sweetener while the orange and pineapple juice gives it a slight citrus edge. Overall it's mostly a sweet beet juice, as the name implies. It's not too shabby. It's also available in Target stores all around the US, which is nice to know I can get a quality juice wherever I end up waking in the morning.

Ladies and Gentleman, I have an invention that will revolutionize the beverage world. I call it the De-Gritifyer. No longer will the world be plagued by protein drinks that have that weird sandy texture to them. With my invention it will be nothing but smooth sailing, and yes all puns intended.

Why no sir I am not living in the 90s. Why would you ask such a thing? Wait, what do you mean that there have been smooth protein drinks on the market for years. That simply cannot be true. Fine I will try your beverage even though I saw you drink directly from the carton and you clearly have a cold. You know that is disgusting, right? Damnit! This is smooth! However did they achieve this before I could? I've spent the last decade in a lab working on the perfect formula. What did they use? Coconut water, milk protein concentrate and acacia gum? I can't believe I didn't think of that. On top of everything it also tastes delicious. The vanilla is great and it overpowers the erythritol and stevia. This is far superior to every protein drink I ever tasted when I started my work.

This is devastating to me. I wasted ten years of my life to create a product that is inferior to this. It looks like I should just go back to my old job as a dog groomer. Do any of you have a pooch that needs tending?

While I have inexplicably grown to enjoy the taste of Red Bull and its chemical tasting copycats, I always get a twinge of excitement when I come across energy drinks, especially when they actually work. You see a lot of the natural energy drinks on the market give you about as much energy as a cup or two of coffee. If that's what you're looking for then by all means indulge, but I personally don't partake in energy drinks unless I “need” one to help me stay up. I don't need a daily dose of caffeine to get me moving in the morning. A bowl of cereal works just fine. What Root9 did to my body, was much greater than what coffee does. It didn't make me feel insane and jittery, it just made me feel like I could keep going when I had a lot of work to do.

The source of energy in this beverage comes from green tea extract, but more importantly from the red ginseng that they use. I have been informed that red ginseng is more effective than what most people are used to. Also the roots that they use in their beverages is grown for six years for optimal potency, they also then allow the soil used to grow it to rest for 10 years to work up the proper nutrients. That is a long process, but as far as I can see it is worth it. I got one hell of a boost from this drink and it lasted a decent amount of time, without feeling like garbage at any point during the ride it took me on.

The other side of this drink is its health aspects. The Panax ginseng they use is also known as a “cure all”. In fact the beverage was created to help one of the creator's fathers who suffered from diabetes. I'm not sure that it actually helps treat diabetes in any way, but it does keep blood sugar in check when drunk instead of other energy drinks.

I just realized that I have gone this far and not talked about the taste at all. The Panax gold flavor is basically a carbonated citrus green tea. It's a flavor that I can get behind. It is sweetened with erythritol and stevia, so it has some of that flavor, but if you drink it while it's really cold their taste isn't too bad. In one of the testimonials someone said that this was supposed to mango flavored, but the can says nothing about that. I can taste it a bit, but it could be just because I'm looking for it. Either way it has a pleasant taste that I would drink again and again.

Is it just me, or is 61 really a random number of berries to include in this juice/smoothie? I can only assume that testing was done to discover that this was the ideal amount, but it sounds completely arbitrary. Perhaps they had planned on using a nice even number, such as 60, and an executive said something along the lines of “people want more for their money, throw a single extra berry into each bottle.” I suppose it doesn't matter the quantity, all that matters is that the combination of blackberries, elderberries, raspberries, boysenberries, strawberries and blueberries makes this a delicious drink that is true to its name. Sure it has a base of apple juice and has 1/3 of a gross banana in it for texture/consistency, but neither of those flavors stood a chance against the wave of 61 berries that washes over your taste buds with each sip.

I could be crazy and imagining it, but I believe if I concentrate while I drink it that I can make out the individual flavors of the types of berries used. Blackberry and raspberry are the most at the forefront, but I'm pretty sure I can make out the others swimming around in there. To me that is a sign of a good beverage. I like it when there aren't many ingredients and you can taste them all…€¦ well except banana I never want to taste banana again as long as I live.

I was had. I am in Florida, Cape Canaveral to be exact. No, I am not here to see space stuff. NASA stuff would be cool and it's actually pretty close but I'm here for a cruise. An exotic cruise to the Bahamas. Part of me thought that the Bahamas was a place that only rich people went to. Since I'm able to go, it couldn't be further than the truth. So, back to why I was had.

It's night time. I am in a hotel the night before the cruise. I need to look around for drinks when I am away from home. There isn't much to pick from around here and I do not know the area. There was a gas station a quarter of a mile away and a 7-Eleven a half mile away. I made the poor decision of taking the shorter route. I'm overreacting, of course, but there was nothing here. I chose a melon Powerade because Florida. We had done sour melon so I thought; I'll do the regular variety. I am pretty sure that the execs at Coke said, "You know what, Johnny? We're not selling anything to those weaklings as "sour melon" so let's drop the "sour" part of the name and keep selling the same thing." This is sour and tasted like the melon did. I'm going to call it a different review because in the case that it is different, you now know what the non-sour one tastes like. In short, this tastes like sour...I don't know...honeydew? I don't know what melon it actually is. Picking from watermelon, honeydew and cantaloupe it is closest to some sort of man-made honeydew. It's that mixed with the same thing that makes sour apple Jolly Ranchers sour and you've got it.

Florida. You're mostly fine. Don't try to pull one over on me. You're fine.

Talk about gross. Look, I like lemonade as much as the next guy. I like aloe drinks more than the next guy. This marriage will most certainly end in divorce because it is like an oil and water mix. It's sour but it's a bitter, undesirable sour. What's good about this? It can't be all bad.

You can taste each of the flavors. If you could somehow separate the liquid in your mouth to one side aloe and one side lemonade, you would be satisfied. Touch them together and it's a chemical reaction that could melt a house. I don't know how that's so. Maybe it's the smooth and sweetness of aloe and the bitter sourness of lemonade just compiling in to a "too many flavors" in your mouth. Whatever's happening, the fish in the Niagara River are going to have to enjoy the rest of this because I quit.

Due to a label that reads “New & Improved” and a flavor name that is similar enough to “Perfectly Protein Vanilla Chai Tea” I was pretty sure this was just a rebranding of one of their classic flavors. I mean even the image on the front is very similar.

The sad truth is that this is not the case. While the Vanilla Chai Tea flavor had a wonderful borderline soynog taste to it, this is more along the lines of a traditional protein drink. It has a very strong vanilla flavor, which is nice, but it also has a perhaps even heavier dairy flavor that I could do without. It's also very thick in a weird kind of way. It makes me think that I'm drinking something I shouldn't be for the sake of healing muscles, you know like when people eat raw eggs. This may not be as gross as that, but it's still a weird drink, especially for someone who doesn't consume much dairy.

Another weird note about this is that there are 40g of sugar in this bottle (mostly from cane sugar). That just seems counterintuitive for a protein drink to me.

I really hope they haven't discontinued the flavor I thought this was, because now that I think about it I don't think I've come across it in a while. That was one delicious flavor, and this just seems like a functional beverage that you would drink out of necessity and not out of want.

Good morning! I just brushed my teeth so I am going nowhere near that orange juice. Those two together are the worst combination since peanut butter and mustard that your mom used to eat when she was a kid. I don't know what that was all about. Back to that orange juice, let's have it, son. Lay it on your old man. What's it all about?

"It's orange juice, dad." is the review you're giving me? I'm telling you right now, son. You can do anything you want in this world but you will not be doing any reviews for Thirsty Dudes any time soon. Let me see the bottle. The ingredients are orange juice and orange juice from concentrate. Hmm, so it is just orange juice. My statement still stands. They have a certain flair to their reviews that your three-ish word review just doesn't have. Do your homework.

I don't know what it is about Chiquita. Their drinks are better than average and are 100% juice. There is just something missing that I can't put my finger on. Perhaps it's just that their flavors are tamer than I would like them to be. When I drink pineapple juice, I want to feel the acidity. Oddly enough that acidity is what keeps me from drinking it more often, but when I really want it, I want to feel it. This tastes like smooth pineapple. It almost tastes like pineapple smoothie, if it had the consistency of juice. This could easily have been made from the fruit-meat they removed from pineapples in order to turn them in to hats for dancing ladies (or men if they wanted to get down). It's all there, but it just doesn't hit me right where I want it to. It still gets a 4/5 bottle rating, which is not too shabby. I just want them to strive for the top. I'm always looking for perfect juice.

From great juice to great coconut water Purity Organic has you covered. While it is easy to screw up a juice, most coconut water is pretty standard. Unless it's something deep in the fancy end of the spectrum most coconut waters taste pretty much the same. There is something about this coconut water that is a bit different. I know this isn't the right word, but it tastes more fiberous. It's as if you can taste the shell of the coconut in this more than other brands. It's not a bad, nor a good thing; it is simply an observation.

The use of mango puree gives this a nice fruity kick that will make your hydration taste just that much better. I've met humans that don't like eating mango (I'm looking at you Mike), but I've never met one that does not like the taste of mango. When in doubt go mango, you can't lose.

Dear Bolthouse,
Why did you hide that coconut all the way in the back of the image on this label? The way the fruits are arranged makes me think that this is going to pack a powerful fruit punch, with just a splash of coconut in the aftertaste. In reality this is mostly coconut water with some fruit flavor to it. I will give you that it has a thicker consistency than most coconut water, but the flavor is still there. Actually I will say this is 50/50 coconut water/juice. It's enjoyable, but it's just not what my taste buds were expecting.

Even with the coconut being stronger than I anticipated this is truly a tropical beverage. It's made up of coconut, guava, orange, banana, pineapple and dragonfruit. Get rid of that banana (you can't really taste it anyway) and that is a party I would be severely bummed if I wasn't invited to. All of those flavors blend into a new greatness that I can only assume most people would love to add rum to. Tropical fruit and rum go together, right? I mean if I understood everything correctly it's the official booze of desert islands. There is also “finely ground chia” in here, but it's so finely ground that I can't pick it out in the texture nor the flavor.

While this drink wasn't what I expected it to be going into it, it ended up being a nice ride that I will happily take again.

You know...black cherry typically sucks. Jay hates it. I don't really like it but I'll drink it. This is different, though. I don't know what's going on in here that's different but it's good. It could be that it's not as thick and/or syrupy but it actually tastes pretty good. In comparison to the rest of the black cherry pops out there, it's definitely the better of the bunch. It's got a good cherry taste brought to by dark sweet cherry extract as one of the primary ingredients so that sure helps. The part about good drinks that makes them good is that they include good ingredients and enough of them to set themselves apart from the otherwise garbage. This is not garbage. This is good. It's almost good enough for me to want another bottle but still...black cherry. You got a "4." Don't complain.

If pop culture has taught me anything it's that nothing will change today. Okay, maybe that's slightly obscure, but I'm referencing one of the greatest songs ever written: New Years Day by U2. Say what you will about their later output and what Bono has become, but those first couple of records from the 80s are totally solid. As you also may have guessed today is January first and I'm at home awaiting nothing.

Last night was a different story altogether though. I threw a party at a local bar where I made people listen/dance to the songs I wanted to hear. At midnight while nearly everyone else guzzled their champagne and other libations I was taking pulls of this delicious sparkling juice. I think it's safe to say I won out in that scenario because this is just wonderful. This is just apple juice and mango juice (from concentrate) with some bubbles added. It's fruit, so it's sweet without added sweeteners. It's also apples and mangos so it tastes great. The mango flavor was a lot stronger than I expected and that was a pleasant surprise. Should I have drunk this entire 25.4oz bottle by myself? Probably not, but while I was working on diabetes, I watched a lot of those people get drunk and do things/go home with people they never would have if they were sober. Maybe that's just part of the human experience though, and I'm just missing out. Ehh, who am kidding, I'll stick with the sweet juice.

I honestly thought that I was coming around to diet drinks. I thought that I had become somewhat immune to the artificial/zero calorie gang; you know the guys who wear bandanas over their faces when they rob you of the flavor of a beverage. A lot of the time it doesn't bother me anymore. Perhaps it's like the bully who steals the same kids lunch money every day; at a certain point that kids body is just no longer going to expect lunch and learn to deal with the hunger. In this drink the sucralose is strong. It's strong enough to take away from the Tang-esque orange flavor that is obscured by it.

It's not completely overpowering and there is a definite faker orange flavor in here. I also give diet drinks a little bit of leeway because there are a ton of people out there who love them, and I can't disparage an entire genre of beverages when there is a learning curve. If you don't mind the diet flavor, this is a zero calorie beverage that is probably right up your alley. Me I'm gonna get a badge and hunt down that group of taste thieves.

Oh how I wanted this to burn. "Chili?" Yeah, there are chilis in it but it didn't deliver the punishment I so desperately wanted. I guess if someone told me this is a gateway between juice and Prometheus Springs, I would be more lenient but they didn't and when I read "chili," I was ready to accept the punishment.

Disappointment aside, I will not fault them for it. I cannot blame them for my ignorance. There is some spicy kick in there and you get it with every sip. The blood orange is fruity and the chili is a nice, sharp aftertaste that keeps you coming for more. It's a very small bottle but there is no doubt that if this came in a larger size; I would enjoy all of that, too. This is a nice drink through and through and will not disappoint anyone now that I've prepared you for what to expect.