Derek Neuland - 489 Reviews

I hate summer. Yup, I said it. I know it's not a popular opinion but it's one I stick by. I don't love snow, but I'll take spring or fall over summer. The band F'd Up even has a song called "I Hate Summer". No wonder they are one of my favorite bands. Anyways, I hate summer because it's much easier for me to stay warm than stay cool.

One thing that does help me a little during the summer is lemonade, as I've stated many times. I took a walk to the co-op today and picked this bottle up to quench my thirst on this scorching day. I had never tried lemonade with honey in it before so I didn't know what to expect. I was blown away on the first sip. This is THE BEST lemonade I have ever tasted. The sweet honey flavor melds with the tart lemonade so well. It's like the folks at Hubert's took a lemonade DNA strand, inserted some honey DNA, and put it back in the bottle. They just fit so perfectly together. Good work Hubert's, this is a game changer.

A reader of Thirsty Dudes recently sent us a link to Death By Caffeine. It's a site where you can input your weight and choose a drink from a drop down list and it will tell you how many cans/bottles you would have to consume to die from caffeine consumption. This drink wasn't on it, but it has the same amount as many other energy drinks of this size (80mg). Apparently it would take 185 cans of this to kill me.

Do I want to drink 185 cans of this in a row? Not really. Don't get me wrong this is not bad. It's actually pretty decent for an energy drink. It's made with sugar, and not fake sweetener or HFCS like a lot of energy drinks. It vaguely tastes like a less acidic Red Bull.

My only complaint about this drink is it's not blue in color. Very misleading with a name like Blu.

Mr. Coconut, why are you smiling like that? Are you hiding something from me? Really? You're not going to talk? You're just going to stare at me with that creepy smile? Great...

Before we crack you open Mr. "Creepy Smile" Coconut, I'm going to read what's on the back of you. Apparently inside you is "Sparking & Functional Coconut Water". The functional part is a little intriguing. It says you are functional in three ways: Replenish, Repair, and Revitalize. I'll take your word on those, I'm more interested in how you taste.

I can't believe you still have that creepy smile on your face. You know I'm about to open you up and drink what's inside you right? Fine. Be that way. I've never tasted sparkling coconut water before; this is a first for me. I must say that I really like it. It's light and refreshing and has a green tea aftertaste. Despite your creepy smile Mr. Coconut, you are one hell of a drink!

This drink is an anomaly. First off, it's a non-carbonated energy drink. This used to be a rarity, but they are becoming more and more popular lately. Secondly, it's made up of 100% juice. Could it be an energy drink that's actually good for you? Who would have ever thought that would be real? Third, the color on the logo is purple, so you assume this would be a grape drink, or at least purple in color right? Nope, it's bright green.

You know in the movie Role Models where they are peeing in the school bathroom after drinking all those Minotaur Energy Drinks? To quote Paul Rudd, “It looks like Shrek's piss”. That is EXACTLY what color this drink is. Not necessarily a bad thing, just weird.

Just like the original flavor of Rumba, this is a really good tasting drink. It mostly tastes like juice (a mix of apple in grape in my opinion), with a hint of energy drink taste. I think most people would think this is just juice if they were given a blind taste test. Good stuff!

Tommy, want to see something cool? My dad was in the army and I was snooping around his garage yesterday and found a grenade! It's a little smaller than I expected it to be, but they always make things look bigger in movies. What do you mean it's not a real grenade? So what if there are words on it? I just figured there are different models of grenades, just like guns. It's all about advertising and brand recognition.

Oh, I didn't see the ingredient list on the back. Wait, so this is an energy drink? And this is just a plastic wrapper that looks like a grenade? Man I feel like an idiot. It looks so lifelike though. Want to open it? No, I don't think it's going to blow up because the flavor is “fruit blast”. Why would they make an explosive energy drink? That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Have you ever had an energy shot before Tommy? No? Well, they usually taste gross. Imagine the taste of an energy drink condensed into a couple tablespoons. You're supposed to just chug them, hence why they are called “energy shots”. This one isn't too bad actually. It has a fruit punch taste to it. Yes Tommy, I know you love Hawaiian Punch. Come on Tommy, you don't need to show me your…€¦. okay, that Hawaiian Punch tattoo is actually pretty cool. Too bad this doesn't taste like Hawaiian Punch.

The whole time I was drinking this, I kept being tempted to throw it. It's just the perfect size to grip. Given that the packaging looks like a grenade, who wouldn't want to throw it?

The world of non-carbonated energy drinks is still new to me. I'm not against them, they're just relatively new to the world and I'm still getting used to them. There have been some amazing ones, like the Monster Rehab, which make me optimistic for Hydrive.

There are a lot of things unique to this drink. For one, it's in a tall plastic bottle, which is uncommon with energy drinks. Plus, it's basically a vitamin...I'm sorry, 'enhanced' water with energy ingredients in it. As for the taste, not bad, but not amazing. The black cherry flavor is strong, and almost has a medicinal quality to it. It doesn't taste like an energy drink, which is always a good thing, but it's a lot heavier than other vitamin waters. This is definitely a good alternative to traditional carbonated energy drinks.

All three of us have reviewed a guava drink today; so let it be known that July 6th, 2011 will now be known as Guava Day. I, for one, welcome our new guava overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted blog personality, I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

They have bestowed onto me a bottle of guava nectar to sample. I don't think I've ever had a guava nectar drink and I must say it's quite good. It's not as thick as other nectars I have had, but that's a good thing. I often find nectar to be way too thick and hard to drink. This is the consistency of a juice/nectar mix and it's perfect.

**Disclaimer: this review was in no way influenced, edited, or forced by the almighty guava overlords.**

I really don't understand why Faygo hasn't embraced Insane Clown Posse yet. Sure clowns can be scary and they don't know how magnets work and want to live on a place called "Juggalo Island". Despite all those (and may more) negative traits, they have bought millions of dollars of Faygo over the past 10 years. One would presume that Faygo doesn't want to associate with them because they have an image to uphold. I wouldn't want to associate myself with a music group that promotes sketchy stuff either.

But what image does Faygo have to uphold? It is a ghetto pop! The only place i've ever seen it for sale is those corner stores that have expired Spaghetti-O's, socks, and Rap Snacks. It's the pop you buy because it's cheaper than Pepsi. If Faygo started putting ICP on bottles tomorrow, I highly doubt some middle age mom is going to stop buying it from the corner store for her snot-nosed kids. It's still going to be the cheapest pop you can buy. This cola is still going to be a 3rd rate cola. It tastes really syrupy and bland. If anything, it will probably increase their sales because even more juggalos will buy it. It would be one of the best decisions they ever made to embrace the MCL (much clown love) and make a line of ICP flavors.

I never understood why people think camo is "cool". In high school, so many people wore camo pants but I never understood it. They just looked like more generic Zubaz pants. Camo was invented to stay hidden. Urban camo pants aren't going to help you sneak out of your 3rd period science class. I also always associate camo with hunting and military, both of which I don't like.

The camo on this can is a modern "digital" camo. I'm sure there's a real name for it, but I'm calling it "digital camo" because it looks like an 8 bit video game. If I worked for Monster's art department, I would have hidden a couple classic NES characters in the design. If Nintendo tried to sue them, they could just point out that there's one pixel different.

Oh yeah, the drink. It's red, and it tastes like cherries. Pretty original huh? Like most Monster drinks, it's really tart which I like. It still has that energy drink after taste. On top of that, I'm drinking this on an empty stomach so it doesn't feel awesome. I didn't intend to drink it before I ate, my vegan potpie is just taking way too long to bake and I was thirsty. Lesson learned: thaw vegan pot pies beforehand so they cook faster.

It's a well-known fact that all of us at Thirsty Dudes love aloe drinks. Personally, whenever I get a new aloe drink to review it usually gets bumped to the front of the queue. Is that wrong of me? Honestly, with all the soda and energy drinks I consume, it's nice to get a refreshing drink from time to time. Do you blame me?

As you can guess by the name, Aloe Water, this is a “thinner” aloe drink. It basically tastes like cherry flavored vitamin water with little aloe chunks in it. I usually prefer more chunks in an aloe drink, but it makes sense they might want to keep the chunk count down on this line. It's kind of weird to drink because I want to take big gulps due to the water-like consistency. After the first swallow my body gets scared because of the little aloe chunks rushing down my throat. I know it's next to impossible to choke on an aloe chunk, but my body doesn't know that. So I end up sipping it slower than I'd like to.

This would probably be good for someone who wants to try an aloe drink but doesn't want too many chunks. It's a beginner level aloe drink if you will. Just because I'm in the expert levels now, doesn't mean I can't enjoy this though.

What is it with energy drinks tasting like melted sugary candy? Red Bull tastes exactly like liquid Smarties. I challenge you to debate that. And this one? This tastes like liquid Sweet Tarts. I can just picture the energy drink scientists at Monster with their white lab coats developing the next delicious energy drink. Runts? Nah, not many people like the bananas. Nerds? Way too many flavors, it would be a cornucopia of flavors and confuse people's taste buds. How about Sweet Tarts? Hmmm, tangy, sweet, and delicious! It's a winner!

Well, maybe not a winner overall. It's good, but not great. There are much worse diet energy drinks out there. This tastes more sweet than acidic for a diet drink, which is very nice. But at the end of the day, I'd rather have a non-diet energy drink.

Man, I'm tired. All I've been doing all day is sitting around in my boxers, refreshing the same 3 web pages. I have no direction in my life am bored all the time.

*ominous voice of a 3rd rate pro-wrestler* HEY MAN! I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, ENERGY 2000!!!!

Energy 2000? My mom told me to avoid energy drinks because she says they are a gateway to harder drinks like coffee.

DON'T BE A WIMP! THIS LITTLE DRINK WILL GIVE YOU THE ENERGY YOU NEED TO SUCCEED IN LIFE!

Ok! It says it's orange flavor, but it tastes like a diet version of the worst cough medicine ever.

STOP SIPPING IT AND CHUG IT! IT'S CALLED AN ENERGY SHOT FOR A REASON!

Ugh! That was vile! At least it's over now. I already feel energized, thanks ominous voice of 3rd rate wrestler.

YOU'RE WELCOME! NO ONE GIVES YOU ENERGY BETTER THAN ENERGY 2000!

Ok, I got the point. Can you stop yelling at me now?

NO I CAN'T! THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN TALK!!

Ugh, then just leave and bring your gross energy shots with you.

ENERGY 2000! MORE ENERGY THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!

My first time I ever had coconut water was in Toronto. Me and a bunch of friends drove up there for a hardcore show and were walking down Spadina toward 50 Toppings Guy (a 24 hour hot dog vendor that serves veggie dogs and has over 50 toppings to put on them). A big area of Spadina is Asian markets and one of them was selling young coconuts with straws on the street. A bunch of my friends bought one, but I had my mind set on having an orange pop with my two veggie dogs. Being the curious person I am, I tried some and thought it was so gross. I avoided coconut water like the plague after that.

Jump to today, where I just got home from a show. I've had this bottle chilling in the fridge all day, waiting for me to come home. I will admit, the first couple sips brought back unpleasant memories. Once I pushed past those, I began to really enjoy this drink. It's a really smooth coconut taste. I was expecting it to have a strong lime taste, but it is subtler than I expected. I would have never thought lime and coconut would go together. On second thought, I do remember hearing the Harry Nilsson song "Coconut" growing up which has the lyrics "She put the lime in the coconut, she drank them both up". Music teaches us so much.

In less than a month, Jason and I are going to be judges at the 2011 Clear Choice Awards. Ever since I learned about the awards, I've been observing bottles and labels a lot more. For instance, I like the metallic green they used on this label on a standard 12 oz glass bottle. It really goes along with their leprechaun mascot. My only complaint is that it was glued to the bottle a little sloppy. There are wrinkles all over it.

The root beer itself is pretty good. It doesn't have much of a bite but it's really sweet and smooth. This is definitely in the top 20% of root beers. More drink companies need mascots.

It's a Wednesday night and you just got home from a long day of work. Not only was it a 10-hour day in the office, but you also had 3 meetings that went way too long. Plus, you had your bosses breathing down your neck all day because you didn't file your TPS reports yesterday. After you take off your shoes and drop your bag on the chair you make your way to the kitchen. Just as you open the refrigerator, you remember that you were planning on going grocery shopping today after work but you totally forgot due to your stressful day. As you look at your fridge, all you see is Frank's hot sauce, 4 different kinds of Dijon mustard, and a carton of lemonade.

Just as you are about to give up on the prospect of eating for the night, you notice a leftover box peeking out from behind the lemonade. It's the Pad Thai you had 4 days ago but couldn't finish. Normally, your limit for leftovers is two days. Three max. Memories of the 5-day-old spaghetti you ate in the spring of 2007 still haunt you. You're really hungry though, so you decide to take the risk and eat the Pad Thai. Luckily, it's better than you expected it to be. Obviously it isn't as good as when you first had it three days ago, but you were expecting the worst and it by far exceeded you expectations.

This energy drink is much like that Pad Thai. I bought it at Big Lots, the land where drinks that no one wants anymore go. I've had some really vile energy drinks from there before. I consciously didn't look at the can of this before taking my first sip. To my surprise, it was actually decent. Then I noticed that the second ingredient (after carbonated water) was a medley of juices. In fact, this is 50% juice, which is where the name "Five-O" comes from. They had the people from Monster develop this drink, and it really shows. Monster really knows how to make a delicious energy drink.

Given all that, this is still a mediocre energy drink. It doesn't have a lot of battery acid taste, but there's a little there. I was honestly thinking this was going to be a bottom of the barrel drink, but it exceeded my expectations.

I'm drinking this bottle at a historic moment. As I am writing this, the New York State senate just passed the bill to make same sex marriage legal in New York. I didn't time this, it just kind of happened as I was starting this review. Pretty awesome if you ask me!

I must say, it's a good fit. This flavor of Vitamin Water is awesome! I was expecting it to be watered down, but it has a lot of flavor to it. It has a good lemon taste that is just tart enough to make me smile. This may be my new favorite flavor of Vitamin Water. It's a big surprise. Much like this bill passing.

Jay has been hyping this drink up to me for a while. I don't think it was this flavor, but he swears by it and bought a case for himself. For a guy who tries several new drinks a day to buy a whole case of one flavor means a lot.

Most people wouldn't dream of drinking something that is supposed to give you energy at 1:45 am. Luckily, I'm not most people. I am very much a night owl and usually get my best work done between the hours of 10pm and 4am. I've only had a few sips so far and I'm already feeling much more awake then I was 20 minutes ago as I was lugging my laundry up from the basement. So for functionality, this is awesome!

As far as taste goes, much like Jay's experience with the raspberry acai flavor, this leaves a lot to be desired. It has a strong green tea flavor, which is great for someone who loves green tea (I am not one of those people). The peach mango flavors are much more subtle, and are almost afterthoughts in each sip. And then of course you have the fake sugar (sucralose) which makes it all the more undesirable. It's cool to have a non-carbonated, non-soda like energy drink for a change. Unfortunately, I won't be running to the store and buying a case of this flavor.

Energy drink with organic ingredients? Check.
Energy drink that doesn't taste like battery acid? Check.
Berry flavor that tastes like a melted freezie pop? Check.

On second thought, it also reminds me a lot of sweet tarts (easily one of my top 10 favorite candies). Steaz did it again and made a great natural energy drink. It doesn't have an acidic or heavy taste like a lot of energy drinks do. Also if you need vitamin B12, this drink has you covered. In one serving, it contains 833% of your daily-recommended amount of B12. Oh, and this can has 1.5 servings so that's 1,249.5% of your daily B12!! Hopefully too much B12 isn't bad for you.

The name of this company, Rip It, would be perfect for a professional wrestler to promote it. I can picture Ultimate Warrior or Macho Man Randy Savage (RIP) in the 90's getting pumped about this on a TV commercial between Saturday morning cartoons.

"When I'm in the ring, there's only one drink that gets me going. RIP IT! (They scream as they rip a telephone book in half, then a dictionary, then a picture of their wrestling rival)" It could have been a huge hit.

I don't think I've had a pomegranate flavored energy drink before. It's one of my favorite fruits so I was really excited to find this little can. It has a good pomegranate flavor that is nice and tart. The usual acidic energy drink taste is very minimal, which lets the fruit flavor shine. I'm half way through this little can and already have a jolt of energy. I think that means it's working.

I have way too many drinks in my cupboard. All three of us do. I could easily drink 2 different things a day for a month and not run out. It's kind of a problem. Luckily my new house has a big cabinet outside of my bedroom that none of my housemates mind if I fill it with drinks.

Where I'm getting with this is that I told myself I wasn't going to buy and new drinks until I put a significant dent in my back-stock. I went to Wegmans with my friend Jess Pizza (yes, her real last name is Pizza) tonight because I was bored and needed to get toilet paper. As we were about to pay for our goods, I saw this bottle of lemonade by the register. My thirst got the better of me and I bought it. In turn, Jess picked up a bottle of Turkey Hill's Orange Tea. I almost changed my mind because I do love their orange tea, but stuck with the lemonade.

Did i make the right choice? Yes and no. This definitely did the job of quenching my thirst. Unfortunately, it tasted a little watered down. It also didn't have much of a sour bite to it. I'd drink it again, but next time I'll be grabbing the bottle of orange tea.