Coffee - 242 Reviews

I enjoy drinks with directions. Oh sure, sometimes I like the only direction to be "Open and enjoy" but sometimes there are times where I like a nice diagram to follow in order to enjoy my drink to the fullest. This is only a two-step process but there are multiple packages and buttons to press before you get to enjoy it.

Step 1: Froth packet. You empty this cat into your drink and you would think to your dumb self, "Well I just add water to this and it makes the magic happen, right? Well you would be wrong if you think that the magic can happen without a little Daryl Hall solo stuff. Also, I think we're thinking about two different types of magic. No, step one is just the froth packet. You put that in and you leave it alone.

Step 2: Standard issue albeit neatly shaped K-cup. Press the button and everything blends together to make the complete sweet treat. If I didn't know better, I would say that step two in itself is just Gevalia coffee and the froth and cocoa is in the aforementioned step but I'm not here to ruin the magician's secrets.

Step 3: Enjoy, which I did. This, to me, and I am a coffee shop novice, tastes like a pretty genuine coffee shop classic. It tastes like a good coffee first with some cocoa and the foam on top. It doesn't taste like hot cocoa with coffee, which is the wrong order if you ask me. It's got that coffee aftertaste that some of you probably enjoy on your tongue but I, for one, would like to immediately chew some gum or use a tongue scraper because this taste is lingering a tad too long. Note: I am not penalizing Gevalia for this is (presumably) the intended action for coffee folk, of which I am not. I am just a guy who stole this from his girlfriend with whom I have never made magic happen with the assistance of a little Daryl Hall.

Oh sir. You look so cold. Please, please. Come in to my coffee shop and I will give you a drink on the house. Look at you. Your nose is as red as a...well your nose is red and you've got to get that wet coat off. Let me take that, sir. Come in, sit sit sit. I've got something I think you will like. It's a mocha latte. No sir, we do not only serve, how you say, "regular coffee." I've got for you, my cold sir, a hot cup of mocha. Relax sir and just enjoy your cup of mocha.

Well sir, have you enjoyed your coffee? What? Sir, are you accusing me of using one of those dastardly Keurig machines to make our classic Italian coffee? Sir I can assure you...what? You what? You saw in the garbage that there are approximately three dozen used K-cups in there? Well sir, you've got us. Now you're going to tell everyone and our coffee shop will be closed. You...you aren't going to tell anyone? Thank you sir. Also, since you know that secret, you should know that I am really putting on an act with this whole "sir" thing. I did bring you in because you looked like a wet rat, though. That one was rightfully on me. So seriously dude, what did you think of the coffee? Just alright? Why? Yeah, you know what? It does just kind of tastes like a half and half coffee and hot chocolate. Oh, you got that little bit of diet taste, too? Yeah, I don't know. It's not advertised as diet but for some reason it's got that in there.

How do you feel, man? Are you better? Warmer? Oh, you're welcome. Come in any time. You know that we charge like five dollars for these cups of coffee and at the rate that we sell them and the fact that they're like a quarter at the quantity that we buy them at, giving you a free coffee when you come in if you promise not to say anything is only fair. Have a good day, man. Oh, hey! If you're not busy tomorrow night, my Chicago cover band is playing down at the Rusty Lobster. You should come down. Oh, you're busy, that blows. Well have a good night.

Someday I will find a hazelnut and eat it. Will it taste like chocolate? Probably not. Will it taste like a nut? Probably. It will probably come in a shell that I cannot crack so I will end up putting it on the ground and stepping on it or hitting it with a rock like some sort of caveman. These actions will most defiantly crush the insides and I will have to climb a tree to get another one. Do they come from trees? Probably, right? I am hordiculturally an idiot.

Does this drink taste like Nutella? You know you're asking because anytime I read "hazelnut" I think of Nutella and why wouldn't I? It's a wonderful thing. So does it? Eh, not really. There is enough coffee taste in there that it's not like a liquefied spread. If you want to think of this as a mocha, you would be pretty much right. I might be able to tell the difference if I had them side by side but since I'm not made of money nor do I feel the need to drink two Frappuccinos back to back like some sort of ignorant college student who's cramming for an eight o'clock economics 101 final. For that reason I will say that this tastes like a chocolaty, caramelly, coffee drink that is very cold. It's like an adult Slurpee. Starbucks, if you want to use that internally, you can. All I ask is that you give me some sort of royalties. A drink a week? You can afford that. I can call the shots here. I'm in the driver seat and I know what I'm doing.

There is a battle in this bottle. It is a fierce battle like a 1993 WWF Royal Rumble. Folding chairs? Check. Eye gouging a'plenty. Why is there fighting? You've got coconut doing its chalky duty and the coffee latte doing its thing. As long as the bottle stays cold, latte wins and it's drinkable and pretty enjoyable, actually.

For a coconut drink, my well-documented not-favorite drink, I thoroughly enjoyed this. As a matter of fact, my buddy Dan and I nearly finished the whole bottle very quickly. Back and forth: a sip for me, a sip for you. We were waiting for the time where coconut reared its dominant head and started to taste like drinkable bleach. We rushed through it and it was great. You did it again, Zico. Now mix this and the chocolate and make a mocha. I want royalties on that idea. I'm serious. This review is time stamped. If you come out with it after this I have record that I came up with the idea first. Just send me a case when it comes out and we can go from there.

Can we all agree that almond's provide the greatest of all milks? Any milk that comes from animals involves some sort of gross bodily fluid mixed in. Rice milk…€¦well rice milk always tastes like rice. Soy milk is good, but you know too much soy can be bad for you, it also has a very specific taste to it. I do enjoy soy milk a great deal, but it simply cannot compare to the glory that is almonds. So basically what I'm saying is that not only are almonds the world's greatest nut, they also are the source of the world's greatest milk. I'm glad we're all in agreement here.

I'm into the idea of an almond milk based iced coffee. It's nice and smooth. The only thing is that this is 95% chocolate almond milk and 5% coffee. Now that is a nice treat for my personal taste buds, but for real coffee fans out there I'm sure it leaves them wanting. The coffee flavor is more of an aftertaste than anything. It almost has a malt like quality to it. I would like to try a stronger version of this, but until that exists I will enjoy this chocolate goodness.

Who doesn't love Nutella? I heard the German's love it. I would like to hear from the source that this is true but when my brother went to Germany he told me that they sold it all over the place and had cereal with Nutella in it. That to me sounds like a dream come true. For that reason, I was pretty stoked when I heard Tim Horton's had a chocolate hazelnut iced cappuccino.

The last couple that I have reviewed have been a bit lackluster. I don't know what it was whether it was a mistake in the mix or something else but they have been less than stellar to say the least. This, although ordered as a regular and delivered as a supreme was pretty good. Not completely on par with Nutella, but along the same path. With the super thick, chocolate whipped cream, it made the drink pretty smooth and thicker than a regular iced cappuccino. There was so much chocolate that it just tasted like I was drinking chocolate milk and I am not totally alright with that. I would have enjoyed a little coffee flava rather than a barrage, albeit delicious, of chocolate thunderstorm.

Ratios people. Math and ratios can save all the drinks, and you said you would never use it. Y'all are idiots. Not use math, seriously? Learn a book, why don't'cha?

Coffee, frappe, cappuccino, mocha, Frappuccino, Mochaccino...there is a lot going on these days in the world of coffee. Is it all good? Eh, it depends on who you ask and what you drink. Me personally, I don't like straight coffee but canned, usually of Far East descent I enjoy. When a Denmark makes a coffee, for some reason, I feel you should listen. This comes from no sort of knowledge of the country as a whole so if you know something about Denmark, and more specifically something that would validate/invalidate me, I'm all ears.

As I lead in with an intro like that, I quickly wonder why I spent the time to write it because this isn't particularly great by any stretch. Why? Well I'll tell you, why. Numero uno is that there is not enough coffee taste. With a "coffee" drink, I expect, nay, demand a coffee taste. This tastes mostly like a coffee flavored low fat milk. Milk first, coffee second. It's a little sweet but that's to be expected. If they could work out the ratio of coffee to milk that would make this great but it's a pretty wide miss as far as canned coffee drinks are concerned.

Mr. Brown, I once again would like to shake your hand for nailing this category and it's different blends and types of coffees out of the park. Illy, I have praised you in the past and although I am not looking down on you, I cannot in conscience mind recommend this product to my faithful followers. My apologies to you and yours.

I've come to really love the fresh made refreshers at Starbucks. It's still one step below a juice bar, but so far they have been consistently good. Take this Valencia Orange one I recently had. I was expecting it to be just a simple orange drink, but it blew my mind. It was more tart that lemonade usually is. It almost had a kumquat taste to it. The orange flavor really popped as well, and wasn't masked by the tartness.

Straight from the Starbucks website, this is what they have to say about its ingredients: "Three varietals of orange combined with floral and fruity notes from orange peel, cardamom, jasmine and apricot lightly caffeinated with Green Coffee Extract, served over ice." I love the green coffee extract, it gives it a little kick without be overbearing. I know they sell packets of these at Starbuck locations but I fear they won't be as good as the fresh made drinks.

Here is another one of those times where I just can not get down with a drink, but I give it an decent review simply because I know there are a lot of people out there who would truly enjoy it. Everything thing about this drink is organic and perfectly fine, so it would be unfair for me to give it a bad review simply because I do not like this aspect of coconuts.

If coconuts were to be portrayed as a character in the DC universe, they would be Two Face. The Harvey Dent, unscarred side of Two Face would represent coconut water. It's clean and refreshing tasting. It makes you feel good and there is hope for the fruit. I believe in Harvey Dent, or at least his side of the coconut. Then there is the other dark side of the tropical fake nut. It's the side that is toasted and burned, much like the face of this adversary. It's also the side that makes you think of the beach and tanning oil. It's something I certainly cannot get behind. I kind of wish it was thrown into Arkham once and for all.

This beverage does not taste like toasted coconuts, but it unfortunately really tastes like you're trying to catch some rays and you lick a little too far past your lips and taste your tanning oil. It actually is like someone took that oil and really sweetened it up. There is erythritol in here, so it's a cool, sweetened tanning oil. It's strange. It has the makings of some sort of candy that half the population would absolutely love and the rest of us rational people would hate.

For the longest time, it was hard to find vegan coffee drinks. Besides smaller coffee shops and Starbucks, it's near impossible if you want anything besides a black coffee. For as large as Dunkin Donuts and Tim Hortons have become, you'd think they'd start offering drinks with soymilk by now. I have probably gone on this rant before but I don't care.

Lately I've been enjoying the new non-dairy coffee drinks that have been hitting the shelves like this one. It makes sense from a marketing stand point, they already have the key ingredient, might as well throw a little coffee in there. This particular one is decent, but not amazing. It has that chocolate milkshake feel that I was hoping for, but sadly the chalky taste of the soymilk really spoils the drink. I can't complain too much because this half gallon cost the same as a 12 oz iced soy mocha at any coffee shop so it gets a pass for it's cost and convenience factor.

Mr. Brown, I've come to your house not to sell you vacuums, not to sell encyclopedias, and not to sell knives that cut pennies but not tomatoes. I have come here to shake your hand and thank you for your consistently great coffee drinks. Whether it be a Blue Mountain blend, a latte, or a simple cappuccino, you hit it out of the park. You are the Babe Ruth of coffee drinks. You see what I did there? Are you a baseball fan, because I just likened you to one of the greats? Why no, I do not know anything about baseball. It's been about fifteen years since I've cared about baseball when I stopped collecting baseball cards.

Specifics? You've got it. This drink is smooth but somehow not too sweet. It's got a great cappuccino taste that isn't as bitey as some of the other cappuccino drinks. I shared some and the consensus was that you do good work. I will further that sentiment by adding that you should be proud of yourself for once again nailing it.

I'm sorry that I don't have much more to offer you in terms of gratitude. Here is...let's see what I've got here. I've got two dollars and...twenty two cents you can have and the knowledge that this review will be up on Thirsty Dudes dot com illustrating our love and appreciation for your drinks. Thanks again and don't worry about where I got your address. Let's just say it was in a little thing called the map to celebrities' homes that I bought from a man around the corner from here.

Espresso. It's life super caffeinated coffee. Also, so that I may be the voice of all baristas, there is no "X" in "Espresso." Although it will allow you to go faster as in "express mode," it does not get its name from that. As a matter of fact, no one really knows the origin or definition of the word "Espresso." It was made up as soon as someone tasted the stuff. It was born from an accident, you know, like Silly Putty. Someone improperly trained worker at a coffee shop in the 1700's went to go make a coffee, put the ground up beans in, poured someone else a cup of coffee, forgot he had already put beans in, crammed more beans in, idiotically couldn't figure out why it was so hard to close the machine with the normal amount of ease, and made a double batch of coffee.

That drink, an incorrectly brewed cup of coffee, birthed the espresso and also birthed Master Cafe. You see, the worked, having sold a couple dozen cups of his new, super strong blend, declared himself "Master Cafe" because people wanted his drink. Eventually that worker moved on to leave the company and just make this coffee. He handed it down from generation to generation until today where it is the same blend just with more sugar. When you put coffee in cans, you put sugar on it. It's a rule. It is a stronger than coffee, coffee drink with enough sugar to make it so people that don't completely love the bitterness of coffee enjoy it.

I enjoyed this and I think it is a fine homage to that faithful although misinformed employee that simply forgot what he was doing and turned that mistake into an empire. Here's to another three centuries, Master Cafe.

Here we have the five calorie aka diet version of Bai's Jamiaca Blueberry. I'm sure if I drank this and the original back to back I could tell the difference easily, but from memory I sure could be fooled. Bai has done a great job of making a sweeten beverage with only 2g of sugar and 5 calories not taste diet. About that, when did the word diet become such a no-no word? Everything that would have been called diet ten years ago is now referred to as “light,” “zero,” or “low calorie.” They all amount to the same thing, but companies seem afraid to label their drinks diet. Was there some vocal backlash that I am unaware of, or are they afraid that the word diet is too closely tied to aspartame and sucralose (you know the devil's sweeteners)?

Bai uses both erythritol and stevia in a way that it doesn't distort the flavor of the juice. Even though there are zero calorie sweeteners and other berries in here as well, the blueberry really shines through and tastes like fruit. That's really all you can ask for in something diet (I'm still not afraid to use the word).

Life is rough when you live like common people. Life is exhausting when you do whatever common people do. When you stay out all night to dance, drink and screw there's nothing else but feel like complete exhausted hungover garbage in the morning. Jarvis Cocker left that out of his little life lesson that he gave with his band Pulp.

Fear not common people of the world, there is help for you and all the rich turds who are slumming it. The answer is the wonderful Coco Cafè. It's a carton of coconut water (to rehydrate you) with a shot of espresso mixed in (to help wake you up when you have a lack of caffeine in your blood stream and a lack…€¦wait wrong English lyricist.) The results are wonderful, and to make things better they have now added chocolate to the mix to improve the flavor to even higher levels. Oh did I mention that it tastes like dark chocolate, because it does and it's wonderful. The drink is a bit bitter because of everything involved, but that doesn't detract from it; it simply makes it seem more adult. Too bad a lot of adults are morons.

I myself am not a common person, nor am I a pretender in such matters. I don't need this drink for the reasons stated above, but I still enjoy the hell out of it.

It's impossible to drink this without singing the well known bossa-nova tune from the sixty's The Girl From Ipanema. I was fine with that. I enjoy that song. More songs today should adapt that sound versus those garage/garbage sounds from a similar era. Not my cup of tea, that stuff. I'm a groove man.

I have had many bottles of this prior to review. Why didn't I review it before? Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I might want to enjoy a drink with a meal without having to remember how it taste to bring it home and write all about it. Sometimes I just enjoy drinking drinks. This though, it's worth drinking three times. It's got a great pomegranate taste and the erythritol does wonders to actually compliment the bitterness of a real pomegranate. It doesn't taste too sweet and the sweetener doesn't junk up the flavor. I really like it, can you tell? It's one of the best Bai drinks and an easy decision when it comes to buying a drink at the store with a meal since it's only ten calories per bottle.

Getting smarter, drink makers. Getting smarter. Keep it up, Bai. You're one of the good ones.

Coffee fans in the unreachable corners of the world rejoice! Now you can turn up your nose at the rest of the world like regular, fancy, city folk in the privacy of your own home. Go ahead. Grab all your computers and books and put them in one room and pretend to work while you sip your coffee and milk Starbucks iced coffee just like if you were in a real Starbucks. Listen to the latest Vampire Weekend out of your laptop speakers too loud while you blog about the people around you and how "lame" they are. While you drink this nicely sweetened, nicely flavored coffee drink, you can pretend you can close your eyes and imagine that you've got something better to do that what you're doing right now. You drink this cafe quality drink and shake your head at all your relatives that come in the door because what they are wearing is so last season.

As soon as the bottle is done, you can take one more coffee scented sigh and return to the life that you were living before that bottle of downtown life came into your possession. Maybe next time the boat drops off supplied to your tiny village they will have another case of them to fight over. In the mean time there is no shortage of coconuts and playing cards. Have fun.

There aren't a whole lot of non-dairy coffee drinks on the market. Asian markets usually have some, but they are just black coffee with nothing else in them. I drink my coffee with soy/almond/coconut milk and a little sugar. For this reason, I was excited to find this carton of iced coffee in the dairy cooler today.

It was hard to decide which to get first of the three flavors they are offering: vanilla, mocha, and caramel macchiato. The latter seemed like it would be the most exciting, but I decided to go with the classic vanilla to start. As I expected, it's heavy on the almond milk. This reminds me more of coffee milk than actual iced coffee. It's really sweet, but also has sea salt in it to give it a nice kick. I wasn't expecting that but I really like it.

Now if you'll excuse me, Arrested Development season 4 isn't going to watch itself.

This is a first for me because I have never got a non-coffee drink from Starbucks before. Actually, this is made from green coffee extract so I retract that statement. I picked this up after a long walk and decided it was a better choice than an iced coffee full of soymilk. I pictured reenacting Ron Burgundy realizing that milk was a bad idea. I'll leave that to the professionals, or Mike since he has consumed expired milk on more than one occasion.

I've been trying to avoid using the word "refreshing" to describe this drink, but it's near impossible. It is the perfect summer drink. The coffee extract is delicious and mixes well with the lime flavor. The best part is they throw in a slice of lime in the drink. Not a tiny wedge you'd find on the side of your pad thai, a big beautiful delicious slice. Well done!

I don't know what it's like to not be able to live without coffee. I always attribute it to an addiction. I suppose it's not hard to not be addicted to coffee when you don't particularly enjoy coffee. Saying that is like saying, "Yeah, I could be addicted to crystal meth but I don't like crystal meth so I don't do it." This isn't something even a coffee fiend could get addicted to, though. I don't know a lot about coffee but I feel that this is a bit too acidic and too sweet for even the most budding of coffee addicts. It is sweet and it is smooth and it doesn't taste like an energy drink which, insultingly so, is the mark for a good energy drink. It's a tad diet tasting due to the sucrose but it's not terrible. It does have a lingering sub-par coffee taste which isn't too offensive.

Honestly though, I don't know if this is technically an energy drink or a coffee drink. Isn't coffee an energy drink in itself? This could be the two mixed together for all I know and who needs coffee, and energy drink, and an energy drink? You need to calm down, buddy. Get some sleep. You need sleep more than you need energy. You might also need some water. Cleanse your body a little bit. Now that I'm looking at you, you could stand to get some exercise, too. I know, it's mean, but we're friends, right? I'm being honest.

Deep in the jungles of Taiwan, there is a man called Hanklin. His mother wanted to name him "Hank" and his dad wanted to name him "Franklin" so they thought it would make the most sense to just combine them and everyone wins; everyone except for Hanklin who has a really dumb name.

Hanklin wanted to get out of the city. He was an extrovert. He moved to a jungle, hooked up a couple solar panels, built a 500 square foot house, and subscribed to satellite internet. Yeah, it's slower, but he's "off the grid." He works hard but doesn't do so well with others. He tends to lose his temper over dumb things like getting sand in his shoes, when he's eating a hamburger and the stuff on the inside starts to fall out, and when people don't hold the door for him when he knows they know he's coming. He was a raw plastic salesman that uses the term "remote office" to its fullest extent.

He works day and night which is fine by him. When he needs stuff, he drives the fifteen miles to the closest town and goes shopping. He tries to make as little stops as he can. One day, he went to town and bought a bottle of ice coffee. He usually just drinks bottled water but he just made a big sale and decided to "splurge" even though he makes over $100,000 and probably spends less than $100 a week to live. He got home with his many, many melons, odd cuts of odd meat, suntan lotion, cases of water, vegetables, and toiletries and decided to crack open his new drink.

He took one sip and was brought back to when he lived in the States. A more complicated time filled with excess, noise, and complicated decisions. The coffee was good but it was a bit too sweet for his liking. It wasn't too much that he couldn't drink it, but it was sweet enough that he wouldn't drink it again. It smelled good, tasted alright, and was tall enough to span two drink sessions.

When he finished the bottle, he put it in his one weekly garbage bag and went on with his life. After all, now he had the energy to start selling the new Polystyrene beads that they got very cheap at a high markup that will net Hanklin even more money that he won't spend.