Coffee - 242 Reviews

Your expectations are low if you are like me. You don't have high hopes for anything really. I mean it's McDonald's. I play a strong "ignorance is bliss" role with them because I do good by not eating there but twice a year, maybe quarterly. When I go, I typically get a spicy chicken, for some reason also known by its alias "Hot & Spicy." I was in a rush yesterday, got my old standard, and got this guy on a whim because it's seasonal and I like chocolate and mint.

Was I surprised? Kind of. It was a reserved mint, not like someone put the base "mocha" in and poured it over a starlight mint. It was different and was not overpowering. Even on the last sip I wasn't left with some awful, thick, minty sludge. I tend to swirl my drinks out of habit in hopes of eliminating that and it worked. You can borrow that skill. Practice it. Hone it. Enjoy it.

McDonald's has been putting out some decent drinks as of late. Kudos to them and Kudos for me because those cats are delicious.

Up before dawn; that is the life of a surfer. Sure getting up that early blows, but that is when the waves are the best and more importantly when the beach is free and clear of tourists. Itâ…‚¬…„¢s bad enough having all of those people gawking at you, but the true hell is when one of them thinks that they know what they are doing on a board and comes out, gets in your way and inevitably needs to be escorted back to the shore before they drown. So yeah, the result is that I have to wake up far to early for one who lives a partying life as I do. Surviving on 4 hours of sleep a night, you would think that my immune system would be shot. It would be if it werenâ…‚¬…„¢t for my secret weapon: Kona Red.

My buddies go out to the coffee plantations and gather up the discarded coffee fruit. You see when you make coffee you cut the beans from the center of these little red berries. You didnâ…‚¬…„¢t know that? Well that is because you are more than likely a touring staring at me from the shore while Iâ…‚¬…„¢m carving those waves. Anyways, that leftover fruit is chock full of the antioxidants that help keep me healthy. My friends take the fruit, juice it and add some pineapple and apple juice. The result is akin to a smoothed out acai juice. It has a very dark taste, but the pineapple and apple juices liven it up a bit. Itâ…‚¬…„¢s a fairly strange taste that grows on you the more you drink. It tastes absolutely nothing like the coffee that you brew, and has no caffeine (but oh how that would help me).

Okay itâ…‚¬…„¢s 4am. I should wax up my board and meet the guys down at the beach. The pipeline waits for no man.

My buddy Dave said it best. His review of this drink was, "You can really taste the 11% sugar." This might be some of the sweetest coffee drink I've ever had. Jay, Dave, Editor Dan, and I went to a couple stores and just hung out all day. It would have been the same day we had when we were ten years ago. A couple small markets, clothing stores, the mall, and so on. Bunch of dudes hanging out. Oh, and Chili's. We all love Chili's. We easily co-drank two gallons of unsweetened blackberry tea that day.

Anyhow, we went to a favorite Asian market and did some shopping and this was one of the drinks we got. Dave got one as well as I and he drank his in the car. We spread it all around because we're all very good friends. Everyone's sentiments were all the same. It's too darn sweet. It's got a good iced black tea taste but the quantity of sugar will inevitably put the majority of this drink down the drain, on the parking lot next to you car where you bought it, rudely on some kid's head, on your table because you accidentally knocked it over forgetting there was still so much in there, or anywhere else that isn't down your gullet.

I don't know what is happening to me, but lately I have found myself craving mocha. Either iced or hot will do, I just want to taste that flavor on my palate. As a non-coffee drinker I find this odd. I still find the idea of regular coffee uninviting.

The urge hit me today and I was lucky enough to be able to visit a Sheetz on my travels. Next to QT and Wawa, Sheetz is the third best gas station mini mart I have ever visited, and I've been to way more than any human ever really should. Even though we don't often review store brand beverages, I felt I owed it to them for being such a great little establishment.

The drink wasn't as great as I had expected it to me. I tasted things in this order: milk, sugar, chocolate and then coffee. It was more like sweetened chocolate milk than a coffee drink. Had some of the milk been replaced by a bit more coffee this would have been infinitely better. I also found myself wishing there was a little bit of salt in it. Seeing as I also have been finding myself craving salty chocolate that is not surprising. Someone should really get on making an iced mocha with sea salt. It would be a game changer.

I stopped by Aldi today to pick up some more bottles of that Pumpkin Cider before the season ended, and they were gone. Bummer. I did find this iced coffee while I was there. I recently read a handful of books that take place in New Orleans, so the French name Beaumont stuck out to me. I was hoping that this was a product from Louisiana so that it would have chicory in it. I've never had it in coffee, but the way everyone I know who was tried it has talked about it that coffee seems like something I need try it. Unfortunately Beaumont is just a name and this is made in Illinois.

I may have been left with a chicory free coffee, but what I did have in front of me was one that was nicely flavored with Dutch cocoa. Let it be known that anyone who is a serious coffee drinker would probably think this was gross, but I liked it. Sure it had way too much milk in it and was overly sweetened, but when you're not 100% on board with coffee it's a nice gateway. The cocoa also gave it a nice chocolate taste, which didn't hurt. The more I drank, the more I realized exactly how much milk was in this, and I would say “Hey Beaumont, cut it out with the dairy!”

We've entered a whole new world here people, a wonderful crazy new world. This is a carton of sweetened coconut water with a shot of espresso in it. Note to self it is espresso and not "expresso." I pronounced it wrong for most of my life, well the chunk of my life that occurred after the great coffee shop uprising in the 90s. In my mind coffee only existed as crappy gas station/diner/home brewed garbage until the 90s. Then slacker culture took over and coffee culture arose out of this. I'm proud of slacker culture for creating a place for people to hang out that wasn't a bar. I spent a good portion of my teenage years/early 20s hanging out in coffee shops and it was time well spent. Like that time this is pretty great. Neither the coffee nor the coconut water's flavor are overpowering. They blend together incredibly and somehow a slightly chocolate taste is created. I don't know if anyone else would get that out of this, but I certainly did, and I apparently am the drink expert if 2500+ reviews mean anything.

A lot of my friends pound coconut water after a night of drinking to fend off hangovers. Those same people love their coffee, so I think this drink was created just for them. It's a one-two punch so to speak. I can't wait for the other two Thirsty Duders to give this a try, and back me up on its greatness.

Black. The first and greatest thing that I thought of was this clip from Don't Be A Menace with the late, great Bernie Mac. I poured this into a class so someone could drink it and it was pitch black. It's iced coffee and it has sugar in it but sugar was no match for the darkness of the coffee. No match. It's a no-joke, black coffee with sugar in it. According to the expiration on the bottom of the can, it also expired almost two years back. Honestly, I think that this coffee can beat things like estimated expiration dates. I think this coffee could beat nuclear war, poison, the common cold, and SAT prep tests. Black and strong like women like their men and men like their women. Black and strong like Bernie Mac. Vietnam makes a strong coffee, man. If you like it, like this, this is for you without a doubt.

There was a period of about five years where I wouldn't step foot in a Wendy's. I got food poisoning from a taco salad and hallucinated. My friend called me and I told him that I couldn't leave my bed and that I was "trippin' balls." I'll never forget. Cut to many years later and we've made amends. I'm not one to hold a grudge so it was only a matter of time before we got back together.

Now that we're friends again, I try their new stuff when it comes out; for me and for you. I don't know how new this is but I don't remember seeing it before so I got it. I never know what to expect with coffee because I don't know what ratio of coffee to other will be. In this case, I'm saying it's 2:1. I don't drink coffee but I have drunk enough coffee drinks to feel like I know what the scale of coffee is. This is an average coffee with enough mocha in there to distract you from it. Together it works but I think on it's own it couldn't hack it. A fast food coffee connoisseur could tell me for sure but I feel pretty confident in saying that. It was not too sweet and didn't taste like someone just threw some chocolate syrup and sugar in an old cup of coffee so that's a plus. Like I said, together they work well together. Aside, it would be like Chris Lowe without Neil Tennant. It just wouldn't work. Neil, I'm sorry, but you should know that "Please" is one of the top five pop records of all time. I don't know if Neil could do it without you. You are a team. Please stay that way forever.

Today, for National Frappe Day, I voluntarily bought this Frappuccino. I made a wise decision with this flavor. Nothing compliments a brisket taco like a salted, caramel, mocha, coffee drink. What a monumental day, a new drink for me, and a new taco offered by a place that I frequent frequently. I had to celebrate this "almost" holiday in style and getting this guy made it.

The mix between all these flavors is just awesome. The salt makes it a little more "adult." Kids just don't understand that salted sweets can be a wonderful thing. This past weekend I bought chocolate covered pretzel sticks. Salt and sweet: a great thing. The salt is always there but it's an undertone to the frontrunners that are mocha (coffee and chocolate) and caramel.

Now I watched the dude make this drink with complete apathy but process and procedure is process and procedure and because of these rules and guidelines, he added actual sea salt. Gritty, delicious, ideal sea salt. No cheap, garbage, table salt. Actual sea salt. I would have had no problem with a little bit of salty crunch in my drink but I completely understand why Starbucks doesn't think that everyone doesn't have the worldly palate like us three Thirsty Dudes.

Starbucks and to a lesser extent, McDonalds and Burger King; I wish you a happy National Frappe Day. We at Thirsty Dudes honored this day in the rightful and just way.

I'll take a coffee, please. One sugar. Thanks. Ahh! This coffee is far too hot. Can I put this in your fridge to cool it down? Thank you very much. It smells great, but I just can't sip it without the fear of burning my mouth. We all know that nothing ruins your day like burning the roof of your mouth. Sure, I'd love to go to the mall.

[four hours later]

Did you see the great deal I got on these slacks? It's like I stole them from the store. Oh crudbuckets. I forgot my coffee in your fridge. You know what? I'll drink it. No, you don't need to make me another one. I drink iced coffee at work. What's the difference between that and this? Ice and some fancy but unnecessary syrup? I'm fine with this, thank you very much.

You know what? They must be adding something else I'm missing out on at the coffee shop because this just tastes kind of like cold coffee. I know, I know. It is cold coffee. You know, when I was in Taiwan, they had these tiny but near indestructible cans of coffee by some dude who looked like Dom Delouise called Mr. Brown. This is that, or that is this. Regardless of what it is, I have just created it in your home and now have no need to ever but it again.

The Fonz, and for that matter, his predecessor and inspiration, the Gorch, are the epitome of smooth. They were classy, rude, inspirational, rebellion, and kind all at the same time. Well, the Fonz moreso than the Gorch. That chain kind of keeps him out of everything "kind." They never overdid it but they did master the art of being a cool guy. No one has ever complained about something or someone being too smooth...until now.

This drink did not offend me by being decaf. I should start off with that. It's got a lot of ingredients that you wouldn't expect. Namely, chamomile, passionfruit flower, and lemon balm leaf, extracts. Unfortunately all of those flavors were masked with what I can only explain as something similar to the creamer you would put in your coffee to make it taste like what this drink tastes like. Nothing really shines through and it's all just kind of a mass of creamy coffee tasting liquid. It's fine, but it's fine at best.

I like a little bite to my coffee drink and if I may bring it back to the age old fight between the Fonz and the Gorch, this drink is the Fonz because it doesn't have any hard edges and is pretty smooth throughout. I have to say that I like my drinks a bit more like the Gorch with some pep and pizzazz. Yeah, I said pizzazz. The Gorch would hit me with his chain if he heard me say that, I'm sure.

I'm at my parent's house. My girlfriend went to Baltimore, or "Stab City" as Jay likes to call it, for fun and it's just Max and I. We're chilling like brothers. Speaking of brothers, my brother Brian and I were crushing it in Army of Two: The 40th Day and Max decided he didn't want us to play anymore so he shut off the Xbox. Could have done without that but hey, we're going to see monkeys later so I guess what better time than then to shut her down?

I slept on the couch and to help wake up, I drank this. I don't know why. Society tells me that coffee wakes me up but it doesn't. You know what wakes me up? Being up for like fifteen minutes. Irregardless (not a word) I drank it and it was good. Not as good as the mocha but good. Think of a gas station cappuccino that was too hot when you got it so when you got home you put it in the fridge to cool down but then an episode of Monk came on that you hadn't seen before and you forgot about it until it was downright cold. Not as "fresh brewed" as the mocha and obviously not with any chocolate loveliness paired with it.

Now we're going to see monkeys with my mom. It should be fun but what might be more fun is going to Big Lots after. The Thirsty Dudes are pathetic. Seriously.

Dear King,
I understand the role of a king and I wonder what you are the king of. No one is the king of burgers. That is just a nickname. You have been "the king" for a while but I am wondering what your jurisdiction is. You spend a lot of time modeling for toys and being creepy around town but I often wonder what you do. I am not second-guessing your king-hood, but I just would kind of like your resume.

While we are talking about the things you've done, you've done a good job with your Whopper line. I had an "Angry Whopper" and it was spicy and still retained that quintessential Whopper attitude. I also had the Carolina Whopper and it was good but it was very saucy. Very saucy, like some sort of old woman freshly divorced and ready to paint the town red. Very saucy.

While you're kinging it up, you should know that although I appreciate you looking out for the kids, your servants are kind of messing things up. Kids nowadays are a bit chubby and you made the sweeping declaration of making things healthier. For that, I appreciate it. You are a wonderful, healthy king, but your servants have served my young son french fries instead of apples. I didn't know until I was home and can't give him a serving, even if it is small, to him. He's too young.

Now on to what you've been waiting for: compliments. Your Frappe line is wonderful. It's pretty great and it was actually easy to look at. It looked like one from an advertisement. The consistency was almost like a looser milkshake and it was perfect. It was very mocha and chocolate and just a little bit of coffee. I don't have any improvements for it. A little whipped cream on top and some chocolate sauce as a lovely decor.

The king, although I don't know your role in this world aside from your spokespersoning for a burger franchise, you're alright in my book. Keep creating Whoppers and keep coming up with new menu items and make sure to give my little buddy apples from here on out. He likes fries too much to eat them.

Well this is something different. I don't drink hot coffee. I just don't. I get gimmicky drinks when I go to coffee shops as you can probably tell with my copious amount of Frappuccino and Coolatta reviews. This iced cappuccino is no different. It's a frothy, foamy, iced coffee drink. Also, the fact that it's chocolate mint screams, "not legitimate coffee." Back to something different. What's different is that I bought one today (pictured) and it is currently and by the time you read this, was disgusting. I will describe that in detail and then describe all the other ones that I've had.

I woke up, felt fine, but didn't have time for a proper breakfast so I got little doughnut holes AKA "timbits." While I was there, I thought it would be a good time to get a little drink for myself to review/enjoy. A nice woman with a not so nice crustache took my order and delivered to me the worst iced cappuccino I've ever had. I don't need to tell you that I don't drink so I am basing this off assumption but this drink tastes like someone pulled the old teaspoon/tablespoon mixup and put way too much creme de menthe in this because it tastes borderline alcoholic in it's concentrated mintitude (not a word).

All other ones that I have had are a nice blend of chocolate and mint and I don't need to drink from the top in hopes to avoid the mint disaster that is sleeping at the bottom. It's a good, refreshing drink that I enjoy getting on rare occasions. I also only get a small and I never get the "supreme" option, which is like the top trim of a car. Whipped cream and chocolate and caramel syrup. Oh, it looks great and nothing looked sadder than the drink that I received today, all naked in a clear cup, but I don't need/want those extra calories and it's honestly aesthetic unless you really have an affinity for whipped cream. I might save myself more extra calories by throwing this in, what the British call, "the bin."

This drink reminds me of my daddy. Growing up and living at home, my daddy always woke up before me to go to work. He would make a pot of coffee. He and my mom drank and still drink coffee but now they drink out of the Keurig because my daddy is decaf and my mom isn't. My daddy's breath was always coffee scented and drinking this reminds me of the rare occasion that I would try it. Also, when he scorned me for doing dumb stuff, which happened all the time, I couldn't help but smell his coffee breath.

I love coffee drinks but this drink is simply too much coffee and not enough...something. I don't know what I like about coffee drinks. I do like the flavor of coffee. Coffee ice cream is great but this is too close to what coffee is. If you want a coffee, this is it just colder. It's like an iced coffee but not gluttonously large and sans ice. I guess that's like 66% of what makes an iced coffee an iced coffee, but you know what I mean. Take a cup of coffee, put in more sugar than you would use in your regular coffee, and throw it in the fridge.

Daddy, if you're reading this, which since I know you because I came from you so I can assume you aren't but I'll finish this thought anyway, you would like this. It would remind you of you a decade plus ago. Remember that man? I do.

Rico "Scorpio" Rodriguez is the protagonist in the video game "Just Cause 2." He is in one as well but I haven't played that and I'm currently playing two. I have been playing this game, not today, but overall for the past month and a half or so for thirty-seven hours. That's almost a workweek of my life playing this game. That being said, I am only 38% of the way through. Back to Rico. There is no sleep and no rest in this game. The only rest would be when he's surfing on top of cars or parachuting from high places. No actual sleep though. I'm thinking that when I turn off my Xbox, he's taking swigs of this triple mocha Shock Coffee. It's juicing him up for the next time we take on the government faction. Them and their propaganda trying to recruit the innocent people of Panau. They're just trying to do their own thing and Pandak Panay is ruining the otherwise tropical islands. I know that it would work for Rico because I was nearly asleep a few hours ago and next thing you know, it's almost two o'clock and I've been playing since around nine thirty. Rico and I are putting in some man hours and the espresso and sugar are really getting us going. It's such a good, natural brewed taste that I wish it came in a larger can. I do not want to be up, though, so it's a good thing that it doesn't. If they could tone it down somehow and double the size leading to the same results but with more quantity, I would have been stoked.

Rico and I have some things to do include take control of the islands of Panau by any means necessary and I do mean any.

Yesterday we went to the Buffalo 66 (watch it) Denny's, which has been turned into a Mexican restaurant. It was wonderful and if I didn't know better, which I do, I would never guess that it was ever a Denny's. I would never guess that I would eat there around once a week after some punk show downtown.

Jay proposed that we go across the street to an Asian market get our dessert. That dessert? A honeydew popsicle. Look, Jay and I like the simpler things in life. We're by no means simpletons, but we like simpler things. We're kids, basically. We're children. Either way, I ate a delicious honeydew popsicle and made our boy Jerid drive my car, which is standard, so that I could eat it.

While I was at said market, I bought this little number: coffee milk. You want to know what it tastes like? Coffee and milk, right down the middle. Fifty fifty. I've tastes a lot of drinks in the vein of this but never with so much milk taste. It tastes like I made a sweetened coffee and then poured milk in it and called it a day. So much milk flavor. It took me by surprise.

After all that we went to Big Lots, as usual, bought drinks, as usual, and traded drinks, as usual. Typical Thirsty Dudes hangout.

For a limited time is such a good marketing phrase. It really forces you to get your finances in place and to make sure you purchase an item before that limited time is over. You never know when it's going to end and sometimes you don't know when it started. You just know that you're smack-dab in the middle of the deal of a century and if you wait on it, you may never get another chance to do it again. A lot of times, these limited time items go away and don't come back and when you don't catch it in time, you kick yourself until they come out with another product that you are sure to snap up.

This was one of those limited time items and I'm glad that Jay jumped on it because it's pretty great. It's coffee in a pretty minimal sense but a pretty strong cookies and cream taste. The combination together is enough for me to give Jay a kiss right on the lips because I'm getting sad at the fact that I've got about one sip left in this bottle. You know a drink is good when you drink it, enjoy the flavor, and then when you start losing it, you drink again because you don't want to be without that taste in your mouth. It's like you are scared to miss it, like normal people unlike Jay and myself feel about girlfriends. It's not our fault. We still feel that emotion but it's our crappy girlfriend experiences that have ruined us for our current ones. They're very understanding. Saddened at the fact that we are dead inside but understanding in that we at least treat them with respect. I haven't been let down by this drink, though, and until I do, I will miss it, like the deserts miss the rain.

Warren Phillips was a busy man. His business was his priority, and it was all consuming. When he wasn't in the office he was running around the city to meet up with some client or another or to gather information for his business. You see Warren Phillips was a businessman on the run, and when you're a businessman on the run you need to take your meals and snacks on the go as well. Warren had everything set out around town. Each day of the week he had a separate deli/food cart where he could grab a bite in less than two minutes. He knew where every bodega was in the city, and at what times they got their rush. It seemed that Warren had everything figured out, well except one thing; he had a deep-set love affair with iced cafè mochas. The problem was the time it took for the baristas to concoct this beverage was time that was not being put to use for his business, and Warren certainly couldn't have that. He had tried some canned versions in the past, but they were always vaguely chalky and never really satisfied him.

One day Warren saw a display of Real Beanz drinks under a comically large sign that read “New Product.” Never one to pass up a chance to make his day run smoother, he picked up a bottle of his beloved mocha. In the 12 seconds he was in line to pay for it, he read the label (Did you really think Warren Phillips wouldn't be a speed reader?) and discovered that it was a mocha mixed with green tea extract for added antioxidants. “Well isn't that just wonderful,” thought Warren. If this drink was delicious he could stop his craving and help fight off sickness by helping his immune system out. This really all happened in 12 seconds. It was crazy. By the time he was out the door, he had already downed half the bottle. His dreams had come true. The coffee drink was completely delicious and not chalky at all. It was heavier on the chocolate taste than the coffee, but you could still taste the coffee in the aftertaste. It was just the way he liked it. Also the quality of the chocolate was way better than any other prepackaged mocha drink he had ever tried. He thought it might even taste better than the stuff his favorite coffee shop used. For a second he thought he could taste a little green tea in there, but then he realized he was being crazy.

Warren was in love, and the whole experience took 7 minutes less than he would have spent with the baristas. That was more time for Warren to spend on his business, and off he went to sell, sell, sell.

I have a housemate from Rhode Island who introduced me to Coffee Milk. I had never heard of Coffee Milk before, nor did I know it was the official state drink of Rhode Island. I didn't even know state's had official drinks. After reviewing this list, apparently most states really like milk.

Anyways, Coffee Milk is made by adding a little of this coffee syrup (which is basically high fructose corn syrup and coffee extract) to a glass of milk (or in my case, I added it to soy milk) and mixing it up like you would using chocolate syrup to make chocolate milk. The end result looks like coffee that has a good amount of cream/milk in it. More importantly, it is delicious! I had my doubts at first, but I now wish I lived in Rhode Island where this is the official state drink. It tastes like a coffee milkshake, which now makes me want to make a coffee milkshake with this syrup.

I need to order a couple of bottles of this soon. I can already see myself getting really addicted to this stuff.