Lemonade - 275 Reviews

Anyone from the North East sector of the U. S. of A knows that it's been blazing hot these past couple days. It's record breaking hot. I went to the flea market with Editor Dan and Jay and when we were outside, Dan saw a cool, brass buffalo bank that he couldn't pick up because it was roasting in the sun. What better thing to beat the heat than limeade. Sure, lemonade is right there but sometimes that's old news. I wouldn't mind if this was the summer of limeade and everyone drank it like limeade was "so last year."

This limeade might be the best I've ever had. Reason being is that it's not ultra tart or ultra sweet. It's light and actually drinkable. Could you image? I like being punished by my beverages as much as the next guy, but this is just a lovely drink. I know there isn't cinnamon in it, but I kind of get the taste that there is. It might be the natural, rind-y lime taste that's confusing me with cinnamon. That is my tongue playing tricks on me. I'll take it because it's good.

Santa Cruz, if you want to buy that idea from me about making organic (of course) cinnamon limeade, it's up for grabs. I have very reasonable rates and am easy to talk to. I also have a fantastic phone voice if I may say so myself. We'll have a great time in our negotiations.

This week Mike turns thirty. His ladyfriend decided to throw him a surprise party, so it was Editor Dan and my job to get him out of the house and to the party at the appropriate time. People were concerned that there would be problems with this, but Dan and I know the way to Mike's heart and it's with the promise of breakfast at the flea market. Even before the party we had a great day of wonderfully gross food, old Buffalo and Ghostbusters metal pins and I got the high score in Galaga. The times were great. Dan and I believe we even wandered into another dimension as we found ourselves in a part of the dirt mall that we had never been to. Finally it was time for the party and we took Mike to the park where everyone else awaited our arrival. I have no idea how he didn't know about it, but the secret held strong. In true Mike fashion he showed no emotion over any of it. That's why we love him.

The party was fun, even though it was about a billion degrees and I got a ridiculous sunburn. We chased a turkey, ate a lot of food and of course drank some drinks. I had a Slurpee earlier on, but when the effects started fading, I decided to go with this strawberry lemonade. We've gotten a handful of comments from people saying that they think the Huberts company is garbage, but we could not disagree more. It tastes like they made lemonade from lemon juice concentrate; you know the stuff that comes in the little plastic lemons. It's nice and sour and tastes like real lemons. I don't know if as a whole it's not sweet enough for those who complained, or maybe it's the extremely faint stevia taste that hides in there. All I can say is those people are wrong and this is great lemonade. The base is great and the extract of strawberry they use makes it taste like someone just mashed the hell out of some berries and put it in their lemonade. I love it. You should love it. You should join us on Tuesday when we ride bikes to a strip club for Mike's birthday to get hot dogs. It's a tradition that we don't go in, just acquire hot dogs from the cart outside. Does anything else scream, “Welcome to your Thirties!” more?

I don't know if you've noticed but the weather has been getting increasingly better out there. By "out there" I mean outside not "out there in whatever location Call Of Duty" is in. I was like you, indoor kids. I loved playing video games and I still do. If I could do whatever I wanted, I might take a week off of work, pay for all my friends to take a week off of work, and just play video games for a week straight. Inside. No sun. Since this is the real world and I'm not what you consider "privileged," I do not have that luxury so I have things like "work" and "a kid" and "previous obligations" that I need to take care of. Here's what I'm getting at. When the weather gets nice, lemonade tastes better. Sure, you can drink it year 'round but in the summer lemonade is a thing that is earned.

This lemonade, fresh and new to shelves (almost) everywhere, isn't bad. Oh you see that there is honey and ginseng on the can, the two ingredients that made Arizona what it is today if you ask me, but you wouldn't know it by drinking this. It just tastes like lemonade. If I had an Arizona lemonade, a product that does not exist, and this lemonade with it's additional ingredients, I might say that this has less of an edge. That might be where the honey comes in but you can't taste it as a flavor, only as an effect. Ginseng, well let's face it. You didn't taste it in the green tea, either. It's great that it's there. Probably not noticeable that it's not there.

I'm happy that this exists because it's a nice change and a better product than the Arnold Palmer. Yeah, I said it. That in itself should be worth a thousand words.

I can only imagine how sticky the bed of that truck has to be. Driving bottles of iced tea and lemonade all over every day, every week, every month of the year bottles have to break. You also can tell that they do most of their driving on old dirt roads with dust blowing up everywhere. I bet the bed of that there truck is a dirty sticky mess. You know who is winning out with this ice tea leakage? The ants and bees, that's who. The ants are crawling their way up the tires, while the bees just buzz over to feed on the sweetness that is left behind once the glass is cleared away. Those lucky bugs are filling up their stomachs with some of the tastiest summer beverages available in the northeast. When one of these bottles of raspberry tea lemonade busts open it must be like a holiday to them. To start off the raspberry tea is great. Each swig tastes like you sitting on the back of that truck downing a bushel of ripe raspberries while gulping down a big jug of sweetened iced tea to fight the heat. If that tea wasn't enough for you, you are in luck because they cut it right in half with some quality lemonade. It was one a bit on the bitter side, but the sweetness of the tea took care of that and the two flavors now live in perfect harmony, well that is until the ants and bees come along and eat/drink it all up.

For centuries pre-teens all over the world have been posing as scientists trying to perfect the perfect lemonade to sell at the roadside. To be honest most of them just half ass it and use a mix, or have their parents make it for them. If it's the latter you should probably consider yourself lucky. Those kids make terrible scientists. Their lemonade is either too watered down, way overly sweetened or is so sour that it makes it hard to drink. Still society dictates that you must pay the child with a smile and drink the entire cup. If you think for a second of not doing that, just remember what happened to Larry David. Not a pretty...pretty…€¦pre-tty sight.

I'd like to think that four generations ago a member of the Roe family (they make this product) was just another one of those kids trying to make some scratch for a Coke and some comics. That child's lemonade started off terrible, but unlike most they stuck with it and kept improving on it. Now that decades have passed I sit here with their current version and I say to them “stop, you have struck gold.” This is one of the best lemonades I have ever tasted. Most importantly it is made with organic lemon juice and not a powder. Second most important is that they chose to sweeten it with both cane juice and agave nectar. It's a match made in heaven. The sweeteners leave the drink sour, but not so much that it would upset our stomach and make you want to put down your glass. In fact, it's so perfect that you don't want to put down your “glass” at all. Before I knew it my entire bottle was gone and I was left for want of more. It's perfect. Now if only the kids in my neighborhood could make this caliber of lemonade.

We arrived in Tampa. I previously mentioned that I was going to Fort Lauderdale but I was mistaken. The flight was fine and the weather was fine. Jessika and I hadn't eaten so we decided what better thing to do than split a couple pulled pork sliders and a plate of chicken and waffles? Since she has accepted who I am, we went to the store to get water and take a gander at the drink selection. It was alright. You'll see what else I got later.

We hung out by the pool and had a reception for Jessika's work and then made a couple consecutive, poor decisions.

Now I do not go to strip clubs. I just don't. I know the girls there need to make a living, and they're trying, but I haven't been to one since 2001 and was fine with my streak. Other people go, that's fine. It's not for me. Tonight, while on vacation, I broke my streak and went. What a mistake. They didn't sell alcohol so there was an astronomical cover, which we somehow haggled to half price. That price included unlimited fountain drinks, which is appealing if you are at an eight years older birthday party, but not a real pull if you are at a seedy establishment such as this. When the front girl said "sweet tea" was an option, though, I decided that it could have been worse.

We walked in and there was one lonely girl on stage, shaking it for one guy who ended up being the bouncer. We took our respective seats, reluctantly and then the girls struck. None of the girls were my cup of tea and the one that was the most persistent of them all was pregnant as all get out. She was offering lap dances and asking everyone to buy her ten dollars Cokes. I've got to say, though, that strip club had some of the best sweet tea this guy has had in a long time. From that point on, I just wanted to go home and drink this drink, which I had put on ice earlier.

It was well worth the wait, too. The strawberry and the lemonade dance back and forth inside your mouth, much like the strippers would have done if there was room for two on that tiny stage and they had more than two dancers. I don't know which one would have been strawberry and which one would have been lemonade, but whichever got the name "lemonade" would have gotten the short straw because that is a terrible stripper name. The drink is just sweet enough and you don't care that it's corn syrup. There is actually strawberry puree in it so you know it's already better than most strawberry lemonades out there.

I've already got more stories for you, but we will save them for the next review. I'm embarking tomorrow afternoon and will be out of range so I'll see if I can squeeze out another story for you.

The year was 2000. Y2K had come and gone without a sound, Bill Clinton was still president, and I had just graduated from high school. After graduation, I moved into a house in Buffalo just around the corner from the coffee shop Stimulance. This coffee shop would quickly become a place I went to a lot. From getting a bagel with cream cheese in the morning, to evenings drinking Snicker-chinos (a delicious coffee drink that tasted like a burnt Snickers bar). Lets not forget their classic weekly open mic nights. Oh memories...

So why am I talking about this coffee shop that has long since closed? Well it was the first place I ever bought a bottle of Nantucket Nectars from. It was a bottle of their lemonade and I was instantly hooked. This bottle is their half and half (half lemonade, half iced tea) and it's just as good as the solo lemonade flavor. A lot of companies get the ratio all wrong, but those folks in Nantucket know what they're doing.

This is the first concentrate that I am reviewing for Thirsty Dudes. Mike has done a couple, but I just want to come right out and say that I'm not a fan of concentrates. No matter what the instructions say I can never get the proportions correct. I've followed them to a T and measured everything out, and they just don't taste right. Then one of my friends will come along and mix it by eye and it will be delicious. The same thing goes with rice. I cannot make rice without either a mass amount of it to the bottom of the pot, or having it turn out soggy. I am just an idiot.

For further proof of myself being an idiot. I took this bottle down from a high up shelf to day to grab a drink that was behind it for a friend. When I placed it back on the shelf I accidentally did it so it sat there precariously for about 3 seconds before it tumbled to the floor and exploded everywhere. You would think a person's first response would be to start cleaning it up, but my instinct was to quickly grab what was left of the bottle and pour the remaining precious concentrate into a glass. Only after it was secured did I go about cleaning up the mess. Then I went back to work. When I was done I then cleaned up the mess again because even though I mopped the floor felt like that of a discount movie theatre. Not something you want in your home. Now that I am sure the floor has been thoroughly cleaned I am sitting here with what is left of the concentrate. After I mixed in the proper 3 parts water to one part concentrate I had maybe enough to half fill an 8oz glass. I took a few tiny sips and I have to say, it doesn't taste like something I mixed at home. It was strong, lemony and oh man did that ginger have a kick to it. I added just a little bit more water to calm it down a little and I think for once I got a mix right. It certainly doesn't taste like natural lemonade, but to be honest nothing is ever going to replicate that flavor properly unless it's just lemon juice sugar and water mixed together. The fact that it doesn't taste “real” doesn't detract from it at all though. This is a whole other beast altogether. It tastes like a lemon drink with a healthy dose of ginger in it. My ladyfriend couldn't handle the ginger, so if you're not a fan of the burn I would water this down a bunch more. Now I am a bit disgruntled that I had at most 6oz of this drink when I feel I could have had several gallons. I must learn to be more observant of my surroundings.

Dear Trader Joe,
You don't know me but I've been a shopper at your grocery store for a few years now. I will admit I am not loyal to your establishment, but I do shop there as much as I am able to. I especially enjoy your veggie chips and hummus. It's easily my favorite hummus ever.

I haven't had the best of luck with your beverages in the past. Your so-called "vintage" sodas were quite bad if I may say so. I must say that I was a little skeptical of this limeade when I picked it up. I hate to judge a drink by it's bottle, but this screamed, "watered down artificial flavors" when I saw it. I was pleasantly surprised to find only 4 ingredients in the bottle: water, sugar, limejuice, and lemon juice.

I don't know whom you traded to get this, but you made a good trade. This is easily one of the best limeades I have ever tasted. It's very quenching, but also has a great tartness to it. I wish it was sourer, but that's only because I am still searching for that drink that is so sour that it hurts.

Good job Joe! You're good at trading.

Sincerely,
Derek

The world of vitamin waters is pretty murky. While there are some really good ones, there are also a lot of bad knock offs. Whole Foods usually knows what's what when it comes to drinks so I figured this one would be a safe bet. What surprised me though was how tart is. Most "lemonade flavored" drinks aren't tart at all. They throw a little lemon flavor in there but don't make your lips pucker at all. This is the closest lemonade flavor vitamin water I've ever had, and I love it. It's a delicious light, flavorful, and thirst quenching lemonade.

It's hot, I mean unnaturally hot for this time of year, and you've been cruising around like a jackass on your longboard all afternoon. Earlier you got a double iced ristretto venti nonfat organic chocolate brownie Frappuccino from the Starbucks on campus but for some reason something with such a stupid name just didn't refresh you like you wanted it to. You really need something to cool you down, but you blew the last of your money on the sweetest visor you have ever seen at the local “skate shop.” Well at one point in the past it was a skate shop, but now it's really just a stupid clothing boutique, but they still have a couple killer longboards in the window. You were just about resigned to give up on your day and head home and drink whatever beer you could find stashed in other kids dorm rooms, when you decided to take a shortcut behind the mini mart that sells beer to underage kids. As you were holding your breath to ride passed the dumpster that smells like it contains the corpses of at least eleven different types of mammals, you noticed a case of drinks sitting by the back door. The turd who worked the counter made fun of you last week for buying Zima and Skittles so screw him you're just going to steal a couple of bottles. You grabbed a handful of the drinks and shoved them in every pocket that your cargo shorts had to offer. Then you reached down to grab one for the road. You really showed the proprietors of that store, stealing drinks they had out by the dumpster. That will show them to laugh at your alcoholic beverage choices. As you turned out of the alley onto the regular road you cracked open the bottle of Jones 24c Strawberry Lemonade. It looked like it was your lucky day, nothing beats the heat that a nice bottle of lemonade. You gulped a huge mouthful and promptly fell flat on your face. It could have been the pebble that stopped the wheel of your longboard, or it could have been the distinct feeling that something was not quite right with the lemonade. Actually you instantly decided that whoever decided to call it lemonade should be fired. Not only did it not contain a single drop of lemon juice, but it also didn't taste like they even tried to fake it. Now that you think about it, it didn't even really taste like strawberries either. It just tasted like a generic fruit flavored fake Vitamin Water. Something was also very off with the taste. Originally you thought that it might have been the sweetener, but after realizing that it was made with cane sugar, you decided it was either the vitamins that had been added, or the drink had simply gone bad. All of these thoughts swam through your head as you stared down at your new visor that was now swimming in a mud puddle. Suddenly a moment of pure enlightenment washed over you. Whether it was spoiled or this was just the way it tasted this drink had been where it belonged out by the dumpster. Also, you are a complete douche bag and “longboard is the wrong board” bro.

MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM, I want lemonade! Now son, you know we're in Mexico and you can't just have everything you want. We've been here for a week and all you've done is complain about how you want some lemonade. I told you before I looked in every store and nowhere sells it. I also haven't been able to find any lemons to make you some fresh. They must be out of season or something. But MOOOOOOOOOM I really want it. What about that weird plastic lemon that is in the fridge, couldn't you make some with that? Well I suppose I could. I don't want to make it with the tap water though. W have a lot planned today, and I can't have you running off to the bathroom every five minutes with the runs. The only bottled water I have is carbonated, but if it will get you to shut up let's give it a try. Oh, now you've gone and put far too much of that lemon juice in the sparkling water. We'll have to fix that by adding some sugar. Unfortunately since this is a rented room, there isn't any sugar here. Oh wait, I think I have some packets in my purse. Ugh, all I have is artificial sweetener. I guess it's better than nothing. Here try this. What do you think? Ugh, MOOOOOOOOOOMMM this is GROOOOOOOSSSSSSSS! Nothing about it tastes natural. MOOOOOOOOMMMMM I don't want lemonade anymore. I want iced tea!!! Well lucky for you they had some down at the market. Let's take a quick trip there.

So yeah, this tastes exactly like the drink this family made, except it has little dark chunks in it. It's apparently part of the limejuice, but it just looks like the drink has gone bad. This also says it has no diet aftertaste. Guess what? They are liars.

America has decided that they are simply too cool to take vitamins in pill form. There was a public hearing and it was decided that vitamin pills were just too 80's, and not in the “cool” we dress like complete morons way. They were fed up, and demanded something simpler, because as you may know they are a lazy bunch. The FDA suggested that if they did not want to take their vitamins they should simply start eating better. If you're getting everything you need from your food, supplements are completely unnecessary. America laughed in their face. They chuckled as they said there was no way in hell that they were going to give up their Big Macs, their pork rinds or their Double Downs. It was a sad day for America indeed. Then someone had a stroke of genius and decided to start putting vitamins into drinks. People could easily consume all of the vitamins they needed for the day in one convenient bottle. More importantly it was a drink for this decade, not the stupid past. Thus Vitamin Water and the like was born.

Not long after a million other companies started doing similar things. Some were great tasting others belonged in the filth can. Sadly Multi Vitamin Enhanced Water is closer to the latter. What we have here is a lemonade-flavored water. No it's not just lemonade, it's like watered down lemonade with a whole mess of vitamins thrown in the mix. The label boasts that there are “more vitamins in every bottle.” That is definitely true because you can taste them, and it's not a good scene. In other companies versions of these drinks the flavor of the drink masks the taste of the vitamins. When you drink this you may be confused and think that someone put poison in your supposedly refreshing beverage. This is like the end of Planet of the Apes, but in beverage form. We finally did it. We got rid of the need for pill vitamins, but now it's been replaced with gross tasting beverages.

Not all mad scientists are actually "mad." They're usually just very focused and headstrong and insistent that what they are doing is for the greater good. It's not crazy to be passionate about your work. It's admirable. Christopher Lloyd, not the actor, was a mad scientist. He knew it was his calling long before Back to the Future came out. After that movie, people started picking on him because of the name, profession, and messy white hair. He knew he was up to something good, though.

Christopher loved lemonade and fruit but was always concerned about his weight. He didn't have a weight problem. He was just always concerned. He would sit in his basement laboratory day after day and mix ingredients into beakers and pour them back and forth. It's just something scientists do. One day, Christopher was close. He mixed in lemons and strawberries that he had poured liquid nitrogen on and powderized into water. The taste was alright but needed something. He poured some artificial sugar packets that he uses in his coffee in the mix. It was better but needed one more thing. He carbonated the water and tried it. Success. It was great. His experiment was complete. He could check "good tasting diet fruity lemonade" off the list.

Christopher Lloyd was never to be known as that guy that looks like the actor Christopher Lloyd, but as a guy who looks like Christopher Lloyd who invented decent diet fruity lemonade.

Mark and Jimmy were in the convenient store last Friday and they saw a kid who is in the grade above them buy a couple cans of alcohol. They were completely ecstatic. Everyone else in their class was always going to parties and getting drunk, but their classmates thought they were nerds, so they were never invited. It seemed like everyone they knew (except the real nerds) was always out raging on the weekends. Seeing as neither of them had ever had even a drop of alcohol before they felt left out. This was going to be their ticket to being cool, especially if they could get it on the regular. When they saw the upperclassman make his purchase they quickly dropped their Nerd Rope and Snapple and ran outside to form a plan. They would keep the location of their purchases a secret, so that the other kids would need them to supply the booze, thus insuring their place amongst the most popular in their school. It would work perfectly. They pooled up their money and since Jimmy looked a bit older he took it and went in to make the deal. He walked three laps around the aisles before finally grabbing a six-pack and taking it to the counter. The cashier looked at him like he was crazy, and told Jimmy to get out of his store. Without skipping a beat he was out the door and around the corner with Mark. What had gone wrong? Had he not given the code word of the secret handshake? Mark suggested that maybe there was just a loophole with whatever their classmate had bought. He remembered it was in a yellow can, so he grabbed the money and gave it a chance himself. He went into the store, nodded to the cashier, you know to let him know that he was “cool” and down” and then made his way to the cooler. The only can that looked anything like what the other kid bought was Tall Boys Lemonade. He grabbed as many as he could carry in his arms and walked up to the counter. He was sweating and shaking like crazy. The cashier gave him an awkward smile and rang him out. Mark couldn't believe that it worked. They were going to be the hit of the party. Things were finally turning around. No more late night pizza roll filled D&D sessions in Jimmy's dank basement. He grabbed Jimmy and they ran all the way out to the fields where the party was taking place. Everyone at the party gave them dirty looks when they showed up, that is until they announced that they had alcohol. After that everyone was all smiles and pats on the back. Since it was Mark that got the drinks he started passing them out to everyone. It took about .3 seconds for everyone to look at them like they were idiots and the taunting to start. You see while many companies sell beer and malt liquor in tallboy cans, the company Tall Boys does not make alcoholic drinks. The cans that Mark and Jimmy brought to the party were simply carbonated lemonade. Mediocre carbonated lemonade at that. The embarrassment was too much to take. They ran until they could run no more and ended up in the cemetery. Who knows why they went there, but they sat on the headstones and discussed how hellish Monday morning was going to be at school. All the while they downed can after can of cheap lemonade. They decided they deserved to make them selves sick for being such idiots. When Jimmy finally gave the cans a good look, it became obvious to him that they weren't alcoholic. There wasn't even any real lemon juice in them, just citric acid. He was highly confused as to why it was carbonated though; since nowhere except in the ingredient list does it say anything about it being so. After their fifth can each they decided that it tasted like highly sweetened floor cleaner with bubbles. Their purchase had been a mistake on so many levels.

An open letter to Arnold Palmer,

Arnold Palmer, I assume you are a smart man. You've got a drink named after you and now a series of them have come out and I can only re-assume that you are doing well from them. I don't know what caliber of golfer you are, but I guess they wouldn't give just anyone a drink. You probably have a whole closet of gold jackets. Is it gold or green? I get real golf and Happy Gilmore golf confused. Can you tell that I don't follow golf? My daddy loves golf. He will soon scorn me for my rudeness and lack of research as he did when I was in my teens, barely scraping by in high school. Mr. Palmer, you have been cartooned on some of these cans, and for this can in particular, you are just hanging out in what looks like a peach orchard wearing some nice golf wingtips with your nice pup looking admiringly at you. Are you just driving balls into the orchard? Do you own the orchard? Have you been planning this venture since this theoretical sketch was taken? Was this taken from a real photograph? I've got questions and you've got answers.

Once you are done answering the above questions, I would like to tell you what I think of your drink. Firstly, I would like to preface that I am a bit of a professional in my field. You can't tell by this review or about 80% of the other reviews that I have done and now that I write that, I doubt my own professionalism. I don't like peaches. I would never eat a peach and I don't care if I go the rest of my life without eating one. You probably think at this stage that your drink is not going to get a great review. Allow me to continue. Diet drinks are typically the pits as well. This drink absolutely tastes like there is "something diet" going on in there. Yes, "something diet" is a bad thing and yes, I have noticed, and yes, you will be penalized for it.

With all of that being said, there is a decent enough "everything else" taste that balances it out. Peaches don't taste terrible, I just don't like them but I like them in a drink. If I want you to analyze that, I will pay you like a psychiatrist. I will pay you as a psychiatrist only if you have the proper chez lounge. I've come to just accept that this is the way that your tea tastes. I would love to try this with real sugar but that's me being a snob and trying to improve on a man's life's work. You wanted this to come out like this and it did. I can't penalize you for that. It's not bad. You've hidden it enough to be drinkable. It's got a fair lemonade taste, fair peach taste, and I can't really taste any tea.

Arnold, I'm going to pass right through the niceties and call you by your given name. Arnold, you've done a fine job here and I congratulate you in your endeavors on the links and in business. Do people still call it "the links?" It's catchy. I like it better than "the green." Anyhow, I hope this finds you well and you have continued success in both.

You know what, Mr. Waitress; I'm sick and tired of this. I come here day after day and I don't know why. You always get my order wrong, all of the wait staff has a terrible attitude and the pop is usually flat. I got one exceptional meal here and I won't give this place up because I feel that one day it will be that good again. It hasn't been. I've been keeping my mouth shut for months now but this is the last straw.

The only think I asked for is sweet tea and you only have diet. It's not awful, but it's half way to really diet tasting. To make matters worse, you only had enough for half a glass. Now what am I going to do with this. I just filled up on crackers and I am exceptionally thirsty. Mix it with something? What do you propose? Lemonade? Who do I look like, Arnold freakin' Palmer. Yeah, sure. Lemonade me up.

Oh, and another thing. I can't stand...when...the thing is...I...I...I'm sorry. I've had a rough day and all I wanted was a Black and Blue burger. When you brought me a bacon burger, it was half the straw that broke the camel's back. The half diet lemonade was now the savior because this isn't half bad. Sure, it's still a little diet, but the lemonade saves it. It tastes like "kid-made" lemonade. This might be some of the best diet half and half I've ever had.

You, my good sir, have done it. "Done what" you ask? You have roped me into coming here again and again now that you gave me this. It's redeeming. Please, sir. I just ask you one more simple thing. Do you have any more chocolate cream pie? I saw it on your specials board. You don't. Well, how about that. Let down again. You'd better have this concoction in here next time I come or I'm really going to make a stink!

Girlfriend, you know I love you. I know you, too, and I know that you like things that sparkle: diamonds, gems, rubies, and the lot. I can't wait until your birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, or even Sweetest Day to let you in on this secret, but I bought you something that sparkles. It's not much, but when I saw it I thought of you. Here, my baby. This is for you.

What do you mean "What is it?" It's sparkling lemonade. It's sparkles, like my girl. Go ahead. Taste it. What do you think? It's good, right? Yeah. Baby. That's right. It's good, right? Baby? Do you like it? What's that questioning look? Oh. It's that it wasn't jewelry. That's fine. Oh, you do like it. Great. It's pretty good. A little diet, yes. Your delightful little tongue is no liar. It's not a terrible lemonade flavor. It's not too bad. For only two calories it could surly be a whole lot worse.

So there you are, one bottle of a sparkling drink for my sparkling fiancè. You've earned it. Speaking of earning it, I believe that you mentioned something about a chocolate cream pie. I believe I am quite deserving of that.

Yesterday's limeade is today's lemonade. To be different, you've got to go and sweeten with strange stuff, like agave, or that's what you like to let people think. See here's the thing. This is a strange drink that is full of lies. Agave is a natural sweetener. Going through the ingredients, you will notice that there is no agave in it. Oh, there's "natural flavor" but come on. What does that even mean. That's a copout. It would be like making a drink that is genuinely "all natural" and then for ingredients just putting down "natural flavors, natural sweeteners, natural preservatives" What a joke.

Lies aside, this is alright. It's lemonade and it tastes like lemonade but you miss out on a lot of the things that you love about lemonade. Pulp? I love pulp and it's gone. This lemonade would be like strained lemonade that's a little thicker. Not a bad thicker but noticeably thicker. There is yerba mate in there but it doesn't have the bitterness that comes with it. Don't really know why it's there.

There are a lot of questions that I don't care if they get answered or not. I don't care where the agave is. I don't care where the pulp is. I'm completely apathetic. I don't care. It's good enough. It's above honorable mention but below a medal. Right smack dab in the middle.

Anyone can drink lemonade. Lemonade is old school. You drank it. Your mom drank it. Her mom drank it. Her mom drank it. That's four generations of the same thing. What about limes, dude? They're there, too. Sprite uses them so why can't anyone else? Sure, they're more bitter, less sweet, and aren't used as much, but that last thing is the reason why they should be. Be a little different. "Oh lemonade?" you say, "No thank you. I only drink limeade." Bam. You've got an instant cult following. "Limeade?! What's that?" they will all ask as you take a sip of this off-green drink, trying not to show your quivering cheeks as they begin to feel the punishment of the powerful limes within this drink.

You are now on top of the pack. Alpha. Pinnacle. Apex. You have discovered limes and have used them for good rather than just a garnish. This Calypso drink you have fallen in love with is simply described as lemonade with limes instead of lemons. It tastes like limes, looks like limeonade would, isn't called "limeonade", and is called "limeade." Congratulations friend, you have arrived.