United States - 4098 Reviews

I always knew Turkey Hill made a damn good iced tea. When I was first getting into iced tea many years ago, Turkey Hill was my go-to brand of choice. I always knew they made lemonade as well, but could never tear myself away from the iced tea. I also was afraid they would make bad lemonade so I just decided to pretend it wasn't there. It's like the father whose kid is a troublemaker and he'd rather just look the other way and pretend it's not happening rather than deal with the heartbreak.

Thankfully, this pomegranate lemonade is not going to be sent to 'juvi'. It's not an amazing flavor, but it's definitely better than most. If we want to keep with the child analogy, this would be a B+ student. It does a great job and is above most of it's class, but it's still has a little bit of work to do if it wants to get into Yale.

My friend Biff, who is a fellow Juggalo historian, I and decided to get together for a viewing of Stranglemania. For those who don't know, Stranglemania is Insane Clown Posse commentating on old Japanese wrestling death matches. What better drink to consume during the viewing than Faygo. Sadly, Biff asked me not to spray his room with Faygo.

This is a flavor I've been looking forward to trying for a while. I love grapefruit soda, but have never had a grapefruit/lime mixed soda. I must say, it's quite nice. It has the tart flavor of the grapefruit with a nice lime aftertaste. It's a nice twist on a classic grapefruit pop.

I feel like there should be a Venn diagram for this drink. It has so many things stacked against it that are intertwined into one. It is a natural diet energy drink. All three of these things tread in dangerous territory, but the three mixed together in one can could be monumentally bad. Luckily, Steaz has a good track record so I'm not that worried.

First sip: eh.....
Second sip: It has a strong tea taste with a chalky berry aftertaste.
Third sip and beyond: It definitely doesn't have a battery acid energy drink taste, which is good. I don't know if it's the lack of sugar, or the 0 calorie natural sweeteners in this but this is definitely not sweet enough for my taste. It has a real bitter taste. People who love green tea and yerba mate would probably love this, but not me.

I hate mid-day naps. I'm busy and if I'm not, I like to relax, but sleep is for nighttime and if I have time to sleep in the day, I have time to play video games or, probably a better idea, work. Today was a nice warm day, too warm for jeans, but whatever. I'm a tough...ish guy.

It was lunchtime and we decided to take a walk to a local deli and grab a sandwich. They just started carrying Marley's and I noticed a while back that we never reviewed the green tea with honey flavor, so today was the day, friends. We bought a sandwich, fruit, and this drink, which came to an astonishing $16 and change and sat down. We must have been hungry because we both finished our sandwich before we even opened the drink. When we finally got around to opening it, it was well worth the wait. It was a very light green tea taste with a nice honey flavor right up front. The bitterness, which was small, was then soothed over by sweet honey and it really made you want to go back for more. We split that bottle right down the middle in no time flat.

Fast-forward an hour.

On our way home, we got about three blocks away and sleep hit us like a ton of bricks. We couldn't get home fast enough. We got home and all three of us passed out. I think my girlfriend put her head on the pillow and was instantly sleeping. I was fighting it because, as previously mentioned, I hate mid-day naps. I couldn't fight it anymore and we all slept for like three hours. Later we realized it wasn't due to lack of sleep, but due to Marley's Mood.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but man, if we wanted to be productive, I would have been pissed that I slept instead of re-paved the front walkway.

Recently my girlfriend has been obsessed with "Extreme Couponing", the show on A&E where mostly fat people buy processed food with coupons and get astounding deals. We watch it and I get frustrated because I used to work in a grocery store and it drives me crazy when cashiers scan the same item multiple times when they can just select a quantity, scan once, and be done with that entire idiot's cart full of 254 boxes of Yakisoba noodles. So she spends a little bit of time scouring websites and newspapers for coupons to save us some money.

Yesterday she bought like 10 items and had to split her order into like 3 or 4 transactions or the deals wouldn't come through. I purchased this drink and threw it in with her order. Without exaggeration, between her being considerate and letting other people go through in between transactions, some drug laden kids touching our kids feet, and the world's most apathetic cashier it took about a half hour from beginning to end to cash out. So was this drink worth it?

Short answer? Eh. Long answer. It was a good pop. Nice flavor. Not super, tooth decaying sweet. The "cream" wasn't all there, and I kind of wanted it to be, you know, the drink that I wanted it to be. It had a good, clean flavor; though, and if you're in the search for non-corn syrup, fruity pop, look no further than your local Walgreens. They have an array of flavors that I'll try in the future, but this is the first one that I did and I just hope that it goes up from here.

I've been trying to avoid high fructose corn syrup lately. Anyone who has tried this knows how hard it can be. It's in everything! Even most ketchup has high fructose corn syrup as one of the main ingredients. I was feeling a little sleepy/exhausted from working all morning so I decided to take a walk to the Lexington Co-op to get some food and a drink. Since I was feeling sleepy, I thought an energy drink would be good. Luckily, the co-op doesn't carry anything with HFCS in it.

Now I've had some hits and misses in the past with "natural" energy drinks. Either they actually know what they're doing and it taste great, or it tastes really bland and almost worse than normal gross energy drinks you find at the gas station. Steaz usually makes good drinks so I opted to give this one a try. I must say, it's quite nice! It's a really good mixture of green tea and orange soda. Unlike most energy drinks, it's not heavy at all. It does leave a little bit of a weird aftertaste, but nowhere near as bad as most cans of battery ac.... I mean, energy drinks.

Guys, I'm terrified. Some day soon I will awake to find that my hair has turned bone white, my bran intake will have skyrocketed and a cane will have become my best friend. It is the only future I can currently imagine. I'm obviously turning into an old man. The proof is in my ever-increasing love of unsweetened teas and dry sodas.

Who needs all of that sugar and a lingering syrupy sweetness? I certainly don't, especially after the obscene amount of it I've consumed over the last week and a half. None of it is contained in this bottle. It's not the driest I've ever had, but it's on its way there, to the extent that an aftertaste is nonexistent. The blood orange flavor has a great presence. I think it got it's name because it slayed all other oranges in a Thunderdome type scenario.

It's a great sipping soda that you don't have to feel terrible about yourself for drinking. I will happily drink it and wait for the day my senior discounts kick in. It will only go downhill when I break a hip and need to start wearing diapers. Will you take care of me then?

There are two types of people in the world: those who love Mountain Dew, and those that think it's really disgusting. I am on team "Mountain Spew". I have had this Mountain Dew flavored energy drink before and didn't like it. I bought this for a friend who was going to be screen printing all night, but he ended up not needing it so I decided to drink it.

Now when you mix a drink I already hate with lots of typically gross tasting energy ingredients, it's a recipe for disaster. This taste like someone mixed Mountain Dew in a vat with a piece of carpet and then filtered it through a moldy sponge. Sure it does the job and gives you energy, but at what cost? I feel like my stomach hates me right now.

Tonight was my last night on the Night Birds tour. It's been nothing but incredible. The thing is that my sugar intake via beverage has been astronomical. Soda after soda has been poured down my throat. After the show we stopped by a gas station and all I wanted was a nice clean crisp bottle of water. Then this little gem caught my eye. Thank you Lipton for your Pureleaf line. It's so much better than your garbage Brisk. Tonight an unsweetened tea was exactly what I needed. This is a little weaker than a lot of unsweetened teas, and I'm fine with that. Sometimes the bitterness can be a bit much, but this is great.

Last night at about 3am someone in the apartment I was staying at started blasting Madonna. Let's get something straight; the first couple of Madonna albums are incredible. They are some of the finest pop records I've ever heard. The thing is that no one wants to hear any music played that loud when all they want to do is sleep. Why do I bring this up? I'm glad you asked. I think that the song Borderline may have been written about this tea (well what she wants this drink to do). Unfortunately it never falls either way. It just keeps riding the fence. It tastes like pink grapefruit, but in kind of a fake way. With each sip I expect it to suddenly turn amazing or terrible, but it's just stuck in the middle. I really want the grapefruit to be stronger then I would be on a "Holiday."

Little known fact, but in Brewster's Millions there is a cut scene where Richard Pryer realizes that he still has one dollar left after the party. With seconds to spare he runs to the store and purchases a bottle of grape soda. An argument then ensues about whether the deposit counts as spending since he can get it back afterwards. Mr. Pryer then throws a right hook and yells "Deposit this!" The movie then cuts to the ending that everyone knows.

This is the grape soda he bought. The packaging was changed after the movie came out to celebrate it. Since the movie is now ancient, and most people who now drink soda have never even heard about it, drinkers are left scratching their heads about the name.

The soda may be good, but certainly not a million dollars worth of good. It's sweet and candy-like as most grape sodas are. The difference is the cane sugar doesn't leave such a sickly sweet aftertaste. I swear I can taste a hint of real grape that you don't get with most grape sodas. Now that I think about it, it was really good, maybe $5000 worth of good.

Ladies, ladies, no need to argue. You can both have what you want. Samantha, you can have a water and Carolyn, sorry, Caroline you can have a nice juice. Now look, I know you both didn't want to meet each other like thing, but I can assure you, no funny business is going on between any of us. Samantha, I enjoy your company because you like to go to the movies, and Caroline, I like to be with you because we go to fancy restaurants. Now although I didn't want you to ever meet each other, perhaps it's a good thing that you met my wife, my kids and I here at Applebees. It gives everyone a chance to air his or her grievances.

Honey, I know you're upset because I've been spending a lot of time at work when, in fact, I've been catching the latest summer blockbusters with Samantha. Samantha, I know you've been upset because I am always full and that's because a lot of times I just came back from dinner with Caroline. Caroline, I know you're at your wits end because I never want to stay over at your house and the answer to that is that I'm a married man and don't sleep around.

Sure, I entertain the company of several women, but I only love my wife, and that doesn't make me a monster, does it? Sure, I've been lying a bit, but it's just to keep you all apart so we don't ruin the good thing that we've got going. Speaking of good things, while I was at the store I picked up this Bot water. This is why I'm happy we can get together and I can please all of you at the same time. It's a blue plum flavor, which I have never heard of, and I'm a botanist. Apparently I'm not a good one. Right ladies? That was a joke. So anyhow, Samantha, you can drink this and be refreshed and quenched because you always drink a lot of water. Caroline, you love juice and order it whenever we go out to eat. Honey, you can drink this in its entirety and just plain old enjoy it because it's delicious. It's just sweet enough that you keep coming back for more. Also, ladies, you'll all come together on this, that it's not bad for you. If you all split this three ways, it would be less than twenty calories.

So lets all sit down, I'll have the waiter bring over one of those Ultimate Trios that we can all split and we can just talk. Ladies, you are all wonderful and since I've been honest, I can honestly hope that you will pick up the tab because I left my wallet in the car.

"Baby girl, you annoy me."
by Mike Literman

Why are you talking so loudly on the phone?
Are you upset that you aren't home?
The speaker is on and I can hear,
all of the complaints that you have to bear.
You hold the phone around your dumb head,
so everyone can hear what is said.
You are also pushing your baby in the middle of the street,
and for that, you should be beat.
You should calm down and drink Rob's iced tea with lemon,
or I'm going to have to ship you off to Yemen.
The drink is cool, natural, and fantastic,
Laura Palmer was wrapped in plastic.
The taste of the drink goes down so smooth,
Your scratchy throat induced from screaming needs to be soothed.
So girl walking in the middle of the street like a dumb dummy,
why don't you grab some of Rob's iced tea with lemon because it's nothing short of yummy.

Yeah, I know that I rhyme like a twelve years old boy. Guess what? I probably haven't written a poem since I was twelve so I'm right on track.

Things I've eaten today:
1. Raspberry yogurt. Good for you.
2. Deep fried chicken "Whopper" from a local pizza place. They are delicious, but not good for you.

So in order to meet myself in the middle with my daily nutrition guidelines, I decided on fruit punch. It's 100% of my vitamin C intake and probably has some other goodies in it. Here's the thing though. Sure, it's a HFCS jam, but it's got actual pear, orange, pineapple, grape, and apple juice in it. It is not bad and if you like fruit punch, you might want to grab this one because you will be surprised.

I did not have high hopes for it as it was on markdown and a place that already sells stuff on markdown, but look at me! I'm impressed.

I think Albert Einstein may be responsible for the "Arnold Palmer" because obviously a genius is behind it. I refuse to believe that a golfer had the intellect to produce such a great drink. Wow that sounded harsh. I have nothing against golf. It's boring to watch, but I bet I would really enjoy playing. So maybe Mr. Palmer did don an Einstein wig, go to his lab (aka his kitchen) and mix up a batch of wonderful.

I was aware that Calypso knew what they were doing with lemonades, but I didn't know they had such a firm grasp on tea until I tried the Teamonade line. This is one of the finest half and halfs I've ever tasted. Both flavors blend together great and while it is sweet, I don't feel like I'm instantly getting a cavity with every sip.

Perhaps this will make me give golf a fair shake. If I do I'll have to be sure I have a bottle of this out on the greens with me.

I've been on tour with Night Birds for a while now playing the roll of merch pusher. There are low times at the old merch table where boredom sets in. That is when I sit back and enjoy a nice frosty beverage. That is until some mutant shows up, having no interest in anything we're selling. They recognize that I am in a position where I have to stay at the table, making me an open ear to listen to any sort of insanity they choose to spout out of their food hole. Sometimes it's entertaining, but most of the time they are annoying and occasionally they truly creep me out. Today while an individual attacked me with his insights on The Beatles and the superiority of Domino's pizza, I told him I had to end the conversation in order to attend a date with a bottle of fruity soda. He looked at me dumbfounded as I turned around and popped the cap off this bottle of neon sugar water.

The pop was better than the conversation, but not much more interesting. I taste neither kiwi nor strawberries. It's a fruity sugar mixture. It's tasty but I can't place an exact flavor.

I've been drinking this soda and writing the review and crazy dude is still standing here waiting for me to finish. Now he wants me to touch his finger. Glorious.

Mint is a tricky game. When done right it can make you feel like you're the king of Refreshmentville. Just the slightest thing off can leave you feeling like you just popped a fresh stick of gum in your mouth before each sip. I find that the lime in mojitos seems to neutralize the mint a bit. Sadly I don't think it worked in this tea. It's a bit gum-ish for my liking, but the lime is also pretty strong. This is the first mojito that I've tasted that I didn't want to force everyone around me to drink.

Big bear. Big bear chase me. Big bear chase me until I buy his soda. I wasn't planning on buying this due to the plastic bottle and HFCS. I was told that it was really awesome and was pressured into it. I'm glad things happened that way. It's much better than other root beers in the same category. Black Bear is an accurate name because it tastes really dark. It's the closest I've ever had a "regular" pop come to tasting like a microbrew. I bet it would have calmed John Candy down after that bear chased him.

What was wrong with the old South? I mean, racism aside, it's been a pretty good place, right? Well, excluding all those floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, and all that stuff, too. You know what else is "wrong" with the south? This drink. It's bad. It's downright gross. It's super fake-tangy. It might at one time have been a legit company, but tasting this drink makes me want to write them off completely. Nothing in this bottle tastes sincere, like dating a girl with a killer body only to find out that tissue paper and Spandex made it that way. All that hard work was for nothing. Surprises. I don't know why, but I didn't like the looks of this drink the minute I laid my eyes on it. It does smell like lemonade but that sting that I get when I drink it...where does that come from? It's not a sour sting. It's a chemical sting. Like that sting you get from Brisk iced tea. What is that and where does it come from?

The South. Get your acts together. I'm sorry about your tragedies, but this is inexcusable.

This is such a weird drink. I really liked the Jamaica soda I had by Jarritos so I was excited to try this juice. The first I learned: I don't like the smell of hibiscus. Maybe other people like the smell of it, but to me it smells like a pile of dirty socks. Luckily it tastes much better than that. It's a sweet juice that is very close to a cherry taste. Unfortunately, the dirty socks smell creeps into my nose with every sip and takes away from the delicious taste. Someone really needs to de-stinkify this juice.