United States - 4098 Reviews

As I type this I am watching the Phil Spector documentary. As each minute passes he seems to become more and more insane. I also believe one of his parents may have been a fish, due to his facial features. He really doesn't even look human anymore.

None of that has anything to do with this soda, but wow is that dude crazy. This pop not so crazy, but it's really good. It's not often that you come across a cane sugar sweetened cream soda, especially a red one. When something like that comes along you hold on to it. You sip it slow and savor the sweet cream flavor. This has a great balance between sweet and vanilla. They apparently listened to Dave Gahan and "got the balance right."

If you're ever in southern Illinois you should search this out. A high quality local soda is something I can get behind.

It's so hot and humid. Being down in those mines isn't much better. Sure it's cooler, but the air is stale and I can't shake this cough that's come over me. Why on Earth did I let Cletus talk me into trekking out to California to mine for gold? That sonabitch couldn't even dig a well on his farm back in West Virginia. We've had absolutely no luck out here at all. We're pretty much out of money and food. Cletus keeps going on and on about this root that he found and he won't leave that stupid spring. Man this sun is oppressive. Cletus left that bottle of whatever it is over there. Screw him! I'm drinking it!

Holy crap! This is incredible! I don't know what Cletus did with this, but it's fantastic. It tastes like that root and a little bit of lemon. I shall call this Ginger Ale. It also has the faintest hint of a burn. It's sweet, but nowhere near overbearing. I bet in the future people will make a cheap knockoff of this and steal my name for it, even though it will be nowhere as good.
Cletus, screw this gold rush, let's sell this elixir!

Mouth: "Is this supposed to be water?"
Mama Fratelli: "It's wet, ain't it? Drink it!"

These thoughts were the first that came to mind as I saw this bottle in Wegmans today. The bottle of this isn't black, it's clear. The water itself is black. To quote blk.'s website:

"Our proprietary blend of Fulvic Acid (a derivative of plant matter) is mined from an 80 million year old source deep within the earth. Naturally black in color, the formula binds to the molecules of our pure Canadian Spring Water turning it naturally black, with no artificial dyes, coloring, or additives. Fulvic Acid is critical in growth of plant life, helping the transportation and absorption of nutrients. Fulvic Acid's small molecular structure allows for the fast absorption of over 77 different trace minerals and elements, powerful electrolytes, antioxidants, and free radical scavengers."

So yeah, this is black water. Pretty weird huh? I was expecting a sulfur smell upon opening the bottle, but it was just as odorless as normal water. As for taste, I was hoping for a charcoal aftertaste. Was there any? Nope. It sadly tastes just like any other water. It's pretty refreshing, and is good spring water. Unfortunately I don't have the palate to know the difference in different brands of spring water. The one thing that's interesting is that it has 30mg of sodium in the bottle, which I assume is naturally occurring from the minerals in it.

blk.'s tagline is "Enjoy the Dark Side of Water". I can only assume they hope this will be big in the goth community. If this is actually better for you than traditional water like they say it is, I'd drink this over boring clear water everyday.

It's always great to be able to sample local drinks when you're visiting other cities. I have to say that when you're in St Louis you should drink Fitz's root beer. It's has a fairly standard flavor. There's nothing fancy about it, but it does have a solid taste. It's in the same vein as your "major label" pops, but of a way higher quality. The use of cane sugar alone makes it superior. It did make my tongue feel slightly numb, but that just makes the drinking experience more exciting.

The thing about caffeine is that it makes me go a mile-a-minute and makes my hands go even faster. My typing of this review could break land speed records but the efficiency in which I type would make poor Mavis Beacon throw up. I'm more concerned with slamming down keys with speed rather than spelling things correctly and hitting that blasted "Backspace" key just slows me down. No, I'm not going to leave you with some unintelligible mess because that would be reckless.

Years ago, I used to work at a local grocery store. I didn't hate it, but I hated the focus that management, or as some like to refer to as "the man", had. See, cashiers are the end of the shopping experience. It's my face that would win or break their shopping experience and it was my awesome attitude and demeanor that would win your heart forever. Since "the man" wanted me to be faster and talk less, I was more of a machine than a person. This I didn't like. I could cash and bag just as fast if I could talk but no. Punch in. Punch out. Speed not service. That really bothered me. Had I known about this product, I would have drunk one before every shift and set the place ablaze. I would have rung your entire order of 251 products before you could get them all out of the cart. I would intrude on your personal space and start taking things out of your cart. I would have no regard for your safety and put things like raw chicken in with your baby toys and put laundry detergent in with your apples and not care. It's all about speed, after all, right? Safety comes second to speed. I would sneak off right at the start of a shift, grab a glass, fill it with approximately 12 - 16 ounces of water, stir in this powder and knock a shift out.

I didn't hate the flavor. It wasn't any different than the other Celsius flavors so if you love them, you've got another one that you can fit in any drawer you can throw at it. If you haven't had any Celsius drinks, they're a little bitey but that's the sucralose. Flavor-wise they're on par with most diet drinks, which is good because you can't taste that you're basically drinking straight caffeine. You could taste the berry and if I had one complaint, it would be that it didn't really mix well. It's not old stock and it clumped a little bit, but it didn't really taste any different when I was drinking it.

So if you are in the business where you've got to do repetitious tasks and you don't have to be terribly precise, this could be the product for you. My hands are going to cramp up and my keyboard is going to start smoking any minute.

File this one under "I drank it because it was free". Regular A&W root beer is a fine, generic root beer. It's a step above most store brand root beers, but a diet version of an already mediocre drink? Bad news. This taste like someone dumped dish soap into a can of perfectly fine root beer. I'm sure there are some people who wouldn't mind the taste of this, but I'm not one of them. The only reason why I'm finishing this can is because I don't want to be rude and dump it.

When I picked this up I really thought it was boner juice. It's called "Sin", it's a "vitality" drink, and the can says, "Embrace the night. Drink in sin." That spells sexual debauchery to a level that Greg Dulli would approve. Turns out it's just a diet energy drink. There is nothing debaucherous about diet. It means the opposite. It tastes like a diet Sprite, with a hint of energy chemicals in it.

I can imagine their advertising campaign now. Obviously Adam and Eve are in it, fig leaves and all. There is a giant snake coming down from a tree with a can of the drink wrapped in its coils tempting the first couple. If it were boner juice it would have gone one way, but since it's an energy drink it would be them all spry and full of energy escaping God's wrath and running away from him before he can kick them out of the garden. Sacrilege? Maybe, but I certainly don't mind.

Dear Grandmammy,

I've missed you. Ever since I moved to the big city, I haven't seen you. Let me tell you a little bit about the city. There are cars all over the street and people walking around and tall buildings. Everyone wears hats, which is a little strange, but it happens. To move from the country to the city was quite a feat. I mean, sure, I only had a few things; button down shirt, one pair of shoes, a pad of paper, and some toiletries. One suitcase is all I ever need.

The reason that I am writing you is that the city is stocked with some fancy teas. Not just black tea with milk and sugar for me, gram gram. They've got this stuff that is rose flavored green tea. It reminds me of you because it smells like you. I mean that in a good way. It's bitter, which is what green tea is supposed to taste like, or so I've been told. The taste is like I'm drinking this newfangled green tea through a bed of roses. It reminds me of that stuff daddy brought back from his trip to India for work except it was way tamer.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't need you anymore. I've grown up into a man and have replaced everyone I know with stuff from around the city so I'm not so homesick. I've met some kids around town that ride motorcycles and has a lot of tattoos and I think that I'm going to start to run with them. They seem like nice enough sorts.

Love,
Travis Tuffguy (formerly known as Travis Sprinkles)

It's such a nice day out. I'm glad we came out to the old farm to pick some berries. It's a bummer that the strawberries aren't ready yet, but there sure is a ridiculous amount of raspberries out here. Man it's getting hot out and this bucket is getting pretty full. Let's take a break. Why don't we bust open that bubbly water you brought. The cap is stuck? Stop being such a baby and give it here. Oh man that is on their tight. I think it's giving.....oh jeeze I spilled it all over the berries, and dropped the bottle on top of them. Now all the berries are crushed. Why did you have your soda water in a lead bottle anyways? Haven't you ever heard of lead poisoning? Do you like eating paint chips? Well I'm still parched so I'm going to pour some of it from the bucket back into that bottle of yours. It's obviously going to be the death of me. Oh wow the raspberries flavored the soda water. It's pretty awesome. Give me a couple of packets of sugar you have in your pocket. Don't play dumb with me. I saw you take them at the diner. You're going to have so many cavities eating all that sugar. I was right, that was just what this needed. We should probably bottle and sell this stuff. I know it'll only be seasonal, but it's really great. I could drink it all the time. It's much better than those other pops we made. They always seemed to have a weird aftertaste. Oh no! Here comes farmer Johnson with his shotgun. I told you we should have stolen his fruit at night. Run!

I'm on tour with my friend's Night Birds right now. It's been ridiculous and fun. Joe from the band is trying to cut down on soda, and complained about how he hated diet pop. I bought this can of Zevia so he could taste how diet pop could be. Unfortunately he was not a convert. He admitted that it was the best tasting diet cola he ever had, but that it still wasn't good enough for what he needed. Well diet soda isn't for everyone. Looks like he's just going to have to cut down his intake.

To me this doesn't taste diet at all. It tastes like a very light flavored generic cola. While that may not sound appealing to most, it is way more appealing than something drenched in aspartame. Well done, Zevia.

What exactly is the difference between black cherries and the run of the mill kind? Are they just riper, or is it a whole different style of fruit? I love regular cherry flavored things, but I'm never a huge fan of black cherry....until now. This really turned me around. I think it's because it's straight up juice and carbonated water. No sugar added. There's some apple juice in the mix as well, which is noticeable in the taste. If all black cherry were like this I would be a converted man.

All week I've been gardening. I filled two giant city garbage totes with scraps of ugly rose bush shrapnel, weeds, old perennials that never really came to fruition, and rocks that someone who lived in my house before me thought was a compliment and not just annoying. Have you ever tried to take one thousand small rocks out of dirt? It blows. Today I finished weeding my whole backyard; weed treated and then laid down a layer of weed blocker. My soil is shot and it needed to be tilled like you wouldn't believe. Not to mention that it hasn't rained in a week, which I'm not complaining because I'm living the wettest summer that this city has ever seen. I don't mean that dramatically, I mean that almanatically. I planted peppers, strawberries, brussel sprouts, and as you can see in the picture, a little jelly bean plant. I saw this guy and had to buy it. I don't have the greenest thumb, but with a succulent, you have a bit of give.

So with all of this going on, and me not having a servant that would bring me a cool glass of water, I decided to go through my stock and grab something that would be both quenching and have a purpose. I picked this Activate drink up not too long ago and it was the perfect drink for the day.

Yes, its intended purpose is for workout, but seriously go to a Curves and look around. Would you say that me hand tilling, digging, planting, lifting buckets of dirt, and just general yard work is more or less than putting the treadmill on "turtle" and watching "The View"? More, right? So I don't need to necessarily "workout" to drink this now, do it?

I liked it a lot. It was a good, genuine lime flavor. The Stevia did a great job of letting that shine through. It really was nothing more than a sweetened lime flavored water. It was a bit "from powder" or "from concentrate" but I'm not holding that against them because it was. I saw it. I made it. I liked it.

I have never had such a clear view of what I expected a drink to taste like in my mind as I had with the contents of this bottle. I pictured a serrated knife cutting into a whole orange with little sprays of juice spewing forth. The smell of the rind lays heavy in the air. Then a few leaves of basil are plucked from a plant. They are sliced up and laid on the orange slices. I could smell and taste it before I even opened the bottle. I couldn't wait to try it.

When I opened the bottle the scent of oranges greeted my nostrils, but the basil was only faintly there. The taste was about the same. It was strongly orange, with faint hints of basil. I really wanted there to be an extremely strong herbal flavor, but you can't get everything you want in the beverage world.

This is made by Bolthouse Farms and it's like a more natural version of Vitamin Water. It tastes really good, but the name led me to expectations that were never met.

Gentlemen, thank you for staying late this evening. As you know our new energy line goes to the bottling plant in the morning. Yes Johnson I know they are going to be in cans, but saying cannery sounds like we're talking about tuna, and I can assure you all that fish will not come into play here. The reason we are all here is because we have the cans designed with terrible Olde English typeface and all, but we have an empty space on the cans for our celebrity endorsement. We were sure we'd have someone by now, but Michael Jordan and ZZ Top have not returned my calls. Shocking, I know. So gentleman, unless one of you has a famous cousin we need to think of something else. How about a quote from a dead historical figure? Hmm who would be good? Who knew about energy? Tesla? Yeah he ruled but the populace isn't very familiar with him. Edison? I don't want people to associate us with his dark period. That whole electrocuting animals thing would probably turn PETA against us. Hmmmm. How about Ben Franklin. Him and electricity go hand in hand. I bet he would also love a drink that tastes like you mixed Red Bull and orange juice. Get me his biography! I'll flip it open and the first quote I randomly put my thumb on will be it. "Energy and persistence alter all things." Gold! Meeting adjourned. Looks like it wasn't a late night after all. Go home and spend some time with your families before the Franklin estate decides to sue us. I'm not getting clearance on that quote.

Chicago is home to some of the best vegetarian food I've ever tasted. There are multiple restaurants that are must eats if you don't partake in the flesh of other creatures. Today I learned that the same city is also home to one of the best teas I've ever poured down my throat.

I obviously chose this because of the awesome bottle. It looks like it should house some sort or marinade and not a tea. Secondly when has anyone known me to pass up something with ginger in it? Not only does it taste like ginger, but also there are actually small pieces of it in the drink, like sediment. It's surprisingly smooth with a heavy ginger flavor, minus the burn. The secret weapon in here isn't the ginger though; it's the trace amounts of vanilla. It gives this tea a whole new dimension. I picked this up at Whole Foods. Hopefully their stores outside of Chicago will also carry it, because I definitely want more.

With all the drinks in the world, it's hard to keep up sometimes. That's why it's nice when people suggest drinks for us to try. It's even better when they buy them for us. My friend Jenna was appalled that we hadn't reviewed her favorite flavor of Calypso so she bought me this bottle of Black Cherry Lemonade. She was talking it up a lot, and I was afraid of it not living up to the hype and thus ending our friendship when I gave it a bad review. I was kinda afraid to open the bottle because of how much was riding on its contents.

Luckily, it is as good as she made it out to be. The black cherry has such a strong and juicy taste to it. And then the perfectly tart lemonade kicks in and completes the drink. It's a little heavier (or maybe rich is the word I'm looking for) than most lemonade due to the great black cherry flavor, but it works and I like it a lot.

This can tells me to "think pineapple." Don't worry friends. I'm already there. I take a bite and it's so juicy it dribbles down my chin. The acidic levels in it make my tongue tingle a bit, but not to a level that it's uncomfortable. I mean it's my imagination so I cut the thing right off the tree/bush with a machete and use that same tool to slice it up. Man this is some good pineapple. I do have a question though. What does this pineapple have to do with my mango tea? There's no pineapple juice in it. It doesn't even have the faintest taste of pineapple. It tastes like a nice dry/bitter white tea with just the right amount of sweet mango juice mixed in. There's also some cane sugar and agave thrown into the mix. It's not overly sweet. It's just right.

Now if I could only get this pineapple off my mind...

Hey Paul, are you really entering that beauty contest? I mean that's a joke right? You look like a gorilla somehow mated with an eel. Your parents are fairly good looking, how did you end up so weird looking? I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just wanted to make sure you didn't completely embarrass yourself out on that stage. Sure you have a great act for the skill section. I don't know anyone else who can balance all of their body weight on their nose while singing Cher songs like you can. What is that, your secret weapon? I don't think it's really going to work, but if you want to give it a try, it's all you.

Wow! You pounded that can and now you look like a young Steve Guttenberg. I don't know if it's enough to win, but it's a definite improvement and you won't get laughed off of stage. Do you have another? Hmm this tastes like a light tropical fruit punch. It's got sucralose in it, but it's one of the better tasting diet drinks I've ever had. What's that? I don't look any different? Well is that really a shocker? I mean did you really think I could look any better? I'm pretty much Oscar Wilde's dream come to life.

Things I know about martinis are as follow: olives may or may not be involved, gin is in it, James Bond liked them "shakened" not stirred, there are bars dedicated to them, they now come in a variety of fruit flavors, and finally people drink them when they want to pretend they are all sorts of fancy pants. I've never had a real one, and I never will. I will try fake versions of them, or mocktinis if you will.

I'm in a van with people who have tried the real deal and they all say this tastes nothing like what it's trying to imitate. I'm perfectly fine with that. They always sounded like a one-way ticket to Grossville to me. So it doesn't taste authentic, but it does taste like raspberry ginger ale minus the ginger ale. That would be raspberry soda for those of you playing along at home. It's nothing terribly special, but at least it doesn't taste like olives.

Tom, a dude that works where I work, is from Rochester, NY. When he found out about Thirsty Dudes, he instantly told me about a place by where he grew up where you could drive your car into the warehouse and the employees would bring stuff right to your car. He's in his thirties and talked about it like he was ten. He said his favorite flavor was the black cherry. I told him I had some at home and that I would bring it in next time I came in. So I brought it in, told him I brought it in, and he seemed pretty excited. Excited enough, in fact, that at about ten in the morning, he poured himself a cool glass of it.

Since he couldn't be the only guy partying down so early in the morning, we all had a glass ourselves and I've got to say, as a man drinking something I probably haven't in fifteen years, I'd be psyched to relive all of the flavors that I had as a kid. As a man who hasn't had this before and didn't know what to expect, it's a pretty average black cherry pop. It's not bad by any means, but it's nothing to write home about, unless you're writing home to say that you found some know-it-all kid who reviews drinks found something that you grew up with that you haven't had in years.

Someone please write their parents about me. I don't even care if you know me. You can get a pretty solid feel of what I'm all about in these reviews. Make stuff up, I don't give a rip, just let me know what you write. I'm interested in the tales you will make up.