United States - 4098 Reviews

Recently I've been on a winning streak with blueberry drinks. If I were Clark W Griswold I would grab the $27 that I had in my wallet, go to the nearest casino and place a $26 bet on the "Pick a Fruit" game that they will undeniably have (I'd need to save the extra dollar for bus fare home). Everything would come up Griswold. Rusty would finally look up to me. I would be the man I always wanted to be. Then for some inexplicable reason I would change my bet and put it all on crappy durian. Who would ever pick durian? It smells like vomit! The wheel would spin, slow down, land on durian and then at the last second flip one more space and land on blueberry again. I would be broke with only my bus fare home. Oh wait I used that to tip that pretty waitress that looked like a model from the 80's. It's a sad time in the life of a man who just loves to vacation.

I (Clark) would be crushed, but blueberry would reign supreme, just like it does in this drink. When you open the bottle it's like shoving your nose in a bushel of fresh picked berries. The tea and lemonade are at perfect levels, with the blueberry just a touch higher in the mix. It's tart, sweet and fruity all in one. I don't know if the world of "Arnold Palmers" gets better than this.

Some drinks have a special purpose and when reviewing those drinks it's hard to decide what is more important flavor or functionality. The Celsius drinks score great in the realm of functionality. I can't say whether or not it burns the calories on it's own, but it definitely gives you more energy to exercise. When I drink one of these before jumping on my bike I end up riding way longer than I normally would.

On the side of flavor they sometimes leave something to be desired. That is because of their good friend sucralose. The sweetener that tastes sweet in all the wrong ways. I wish they would just switch over to stevia. If you're not going with real sugar stevia is the way to go in my book.

This is the best tasting Celsius I've had thus far. I think that's because it's a tea and not a "soda." It still has the sucralose taste, but it's masked a bit by the tea. It basically tastes like a diet raspberry tea. I don't taste the acai at all, but really who needs it when you have raspberry in the mix?

I've been inside for far to long today. This can is now empty so I'm going to go jump on my bike and ride around the city for a while. Try not to hit me.

Why oh why did I read the ingredients on this before I took a sip? I was so excited about it. Lemon ginger is a great flavor, and I've been a fan of the other probiotic drinks I've had. There is something that I am absolutely not a fan of and that is vinegar. Yes I eat salsa by the jarful. Yes I know that vinegar is one of the main ingredients in it, but salsa doesn't taste like vinegar....at all. It tastes like magic.

As you may have guessed apple cider vinegar is the third ingredient listed on the label. Ugh. I ruined it. Everyone else that tried this said they didn't taste vinegar at all, but I had it on the mind so there it was front and center for me. Okay not front and center, but there was a hint of it. It also smelled like the dye you use to color Easter eggs to a lesser extent. Apparently I am insane because as I said no one else thought that at all.

Other than the "hint of vin" this is pretty good. Even though it's not carbonated, it tastes like it is. Yes to me carbonation has a flavor. This has it. Let's move on. It tastes like a lemon soda mixed with ginger ale (minus the bubbles). That is nothing like I expected it to taste. I was expecting a decently strong ginger with a very tart lemon. Nope. Wrong again. If I could just get passed my hatred of vinegar and the ghost of it that lives in this bottle, only haunting me, I would be able to enjoy this as a healthy organic beverage that tastes like it was neither healthy nor organic. That is a good place to be.

I've been sitting on this for a long time. I knew it was going to be at very least interesting so I wanted to get some other stuff out of the way first, hence the large gap between Zuberfizz reviews.

I don't know who the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory is, but they've (apparently) teamed up with the Zuberfizz crew in order to create this little treat.

I, for the life of me cannot place what the chocolate reminds me of. My friend said that it was like the chocolate you get from Kinder Surprise, a Canadian treat which is essentially a hollow chocolate ball with a toy in it. To the tongue, this is a great drink, but once it goes down your throat, it's a little strange. The fizz almost makes it seem like a spicy chocolate. Once it's down your throat you get a nice aftertaste of a real genuine chocolate taste that's quite pleasing. The smell is great, too.

I've got it! It tastes like chocolate PEZ. Don't know what they taste like? Find 'em and buy 'em and tell me I'm wrong. I dare you. Chocolate PEZ. My friend says it also smells like chocolate Tootsie Pops. Together I'd say we nailed it. Track this down. It's fun. Have fun with pop. Pop is fun.

While passing this drink around the office, I received mixed results. Everyone said it was good, but I think that they wanted it to be thicker. Look, I would love to try a thicker version of this drink, but if Honest wanted a thicker drink, they would have made it, so drop it already. Jeez! So this drink, I like it. It's got a good dark chocolate bitter taste. It really tastes like a really dark chocolate candy bar. The mint lingers at the tail end, almost like an Andes mint that you would get after a delicious steak dinner. Oh, you're vegan? Do vegans eat steak? No? Fair enough. After a nice meal of a salad and a side of carrots since the restaurant that I took you to has a limited menu. I'm sorry. I didn't make it up. It's not my fault that they don't cater to people that don't eat anything from animals. It's a steakhouse. Why did you even agree to come? Come on. Let's go get you some cereal or something.

All of us here at Thirsty Dudes are huge fans of The Best Show on WFMU. It is a radio show based out of NJ, but available world wide, so don't call it local! The host of the show is the wonderful Tom Scharpling. He entertains the world via radio for three hours every Tuesday night. It is one of the funniest things I've ever listened to. Guests like Paul F Tompkins, Ted Leo, Patton Oswalt, Todd Barry and many others a frequent. If you are a fan of hilarity I suggest you check it out.

Okay now that the plug is over, on with the story. Last week I finally worked up the courage to call into the show to talk to Tom about Thirsty Dudes. The mush state of my mouth was discussed and then when asked for suggestions on things to review Tom told me orange juice. Who am I to argue? So here's your orange juice review.

Simply puts out nothing but high quality beverages as far as I've tasted. It so happens that all three of us purchased and reviewed a Simply drink in the past two days. All of them got high marks. They don't mess around with adding extra ingredients to their juices. They know with something like this it's best to keep things.....simple. I have to say this is the best orange juice (minus some the was fresh squeezed) that I have ever had. It doesn't taste old or weird like a lot of carton orange juices do. There is a decent amount of pulp in it, which is a bonus in my world. I don't care what my friend Kevyn says. Pulp does not make a drink seem like you're imbibing dirty dishwater. It makes it seem like your eating the actual fruit, minus the annoying peeling session. How does everyone else start to peel and orange? I always bite the skin a little, but then I get a spray of the gross bitter peel in my mouth. It almost makes it not worth it. Give me advice people!

FACT!
Every time Jay, Editor Dan, and myself go to Chili's our number one (numero uno) priority is to get the blackberry tea. It probably trumps the importance of the meal. Now although we don't frequent Chili's as much as we used to, and I don't know why because it's pretty consistently delicious, we still have cravings for that sweet, wonderful blackberry. We haven't done many blackberry related drinks and I don't know why. I feel like if I went into any anonymous forest, the bushes would be laden with that little black dude. That sounds racist. It isn't.

I was pleased to see that Hint released a blackberry. I don't know when. Perhaps I've just overlooked it thinking I had reviewed it before, but I didn't until today. I bought my official "Thirsty Tuesday Taco", my blackberry Hint, and headed outside to have dinner.

As per usual, it was good. It was light, as expected, but every time I have Hint water, I'm surprised at how well they pull it off. It's like they previously used the bottles for a blackberry drink, did a garbage job of cleaning it, and then filled it with water, but it's acceptable. It's so light that I could see people getting mad if they didn't know what to expect. "I thought this was a clear juice. What a bummer." they would exclaim while people who knew what time it was were getting refreshed just two tables over thinking to themselves, "Who's that jerk and what's he complaining about? This stuff is great."

Think of it this way. There is no better drink for you than water. I'll say it. I've drunk hundreds of different drinks in the last year and it's true. This is just water with a tiny bit of blackberry flavoring. It's enhanced water. No one can tell you that water is better than this.

Guys I just brewed the best tea ever. What's great about it is that's it's all-natural! What's in it? I'll tell you what's in it! It's just three simple things; tea, water and heroin. Why are you looking at me like that? The tea is certified organic and free trade friendly and the water is from the purest springs. Obviously you must not be taking offense to the heroin. It's made from locally grown poppies. What do you mean it's not "natural"? I just told you it's made from poppies. If JB's can say that HFCS is natural than I can say my heroin is as well!

Seriously, don't say all natural and then use HFCS. Own up to it! The tea isn't all that bad. Sure it's syrupy, but it tastes good. Just accept yourself for who you are. Like Angus, "you're still here."

We had people over for an impromptu grilling session at our house yesterday. I consumed way more beverages than any one person should in that short of a time, so now I have to play catch up.

We cracked open a couple of bottles of College club for everyone to share. I had yet to try their Golden Ginger Ale, and I really don't know why I waited so long. Their Pale Dry Ginger Ale has a very strong ginger flavor, which is not as sweet than most sodas. With this variety they flip-flopped it. It's way sweeter and the ginger is lower in the mix. So now you can fine-tune your soda choice to your tastes.

College Club, based out of Rochester, NY, puts out a decent size line of quality sodas. It's a small family business that has been passed on for several generations. We were lucky enough to go to their factory and assist them in bottling some of their soda. It was great to say the least.

We've been enjoying their pops for quite some time now, but somehow we have failed to write a review for their root beer. The first thing I'd like to say is man is it good. It's not a fancy brewed root beer, but it is in the upper echelon of "normal" root beers. It's dark and flavorful. It doesn't taste like spices and herbs, but it also doesn't taste like candy. It tastes like the purest essence of the root beer you would drink as a kid. It's similar to a Mug or a Dad's but it's of a higher quality. We're proud to have them as a fairly local company.

You know how sometimes you have a bit of a scratchy throat? You just find yourself clearing it all the time for no reason and you think that it's annoying but really, people don't care. They understand. It happens to the best of us. It just happens and we deal with it. It's life.

Suggestion. Do not drink Simply Lemonade (with raspberry) when you are suffering from these life-threatening conditions. It tastes like you're drinking sandpaper. Great tasting sandpaper, but sandpaper nonetheless.

All other times of the year, please, by all means, treat yourself to this beverage. It's pretty sweet and the lemonade cuts right through. I, personally, couldn't tell "raspberry" was in it. I knew that it wasn't straight lemonade, and I appreciated that he had a tag team partner, but the sweetness and acidity from the lemonade really covered up the other flavors. There is pulp in it, which is also the sign of an impending good drink. Either that or a poor strainer at the factory it's made at. I trust that it was on purpose.

All the same, I would drink this again because it was very good. It's a lot more sharp than the Calypso lemonade, which I find smoother compared to this, but it's a different sort of lemonade and I liked it. It's summertime, though, and I think that most lemonade is pretty exceptional.

At least one person on this planet is going to be real bummed when they buy this soda. I feel like most people think of ginger ale as something completely different than those of us who scratch the surface of the soda world a little more. Companies like Vernors and Schweppes, while making decent products, have led the world to believe that all ginger ale is sweet and smooth. Here is a news flash folks; "real" ginger ale has a kick to it. If you've ever tasted actual ginger you know that it has some spice to it. When made into a soda properly it can have quite a burn. That burn is not for everyone, but those of us who like it really, really love it. Usually ginger sodas that have this kick are known as ginger beers nowadays. Sometimes companies still call them ginger ale, and I'm fine with that. Red Rock is one such company.

It doesn't have the strongest burn I've ever experienced in a ginger soda, but it's stronger than I had expected. This is a slow sipper with a lot of flavor. So when aunt Milda ventures to the store to buy some ginger ale to sooth her upset stomach, she is going to be in for a shock when she takes a swig of this. Her stomach will probably be all the better for it though.

"The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned..." Well Nelson, I can't say if that's true or not, as this marks my first experience with huckleberries at all. That is a lie I suppose. I do have some history with Huckleberry Hound and Huckleberry Finn, but I've never tasted either of them and I will make a pledge this self same day to never do so. There, are you happy now?

As far as I knew, until today, huckleberries were some archaic fruit that had long since gone extinct. The olde-timey picture on the label does nothing but support that idea. As it turns out the fruit still flourishes, but has gone out of vogue. The fine folks at Jackson Hole understand that this is nothing more than a hate crime against the fruit world. As a result they are taking it back.

Every Jackson Hole soda we've had so far has been spectacular and they just stepped up their game with this one. This and the Thomas Kemper Bumble Berry sodas stand as the two best fruit sodas that have ever graced my taste buds. High Mountain Huckleberry is reminiscent of a Shirley Temple made with high quality berries instead of grenadine. It's sweet and fruity in all of the right ways. I had assumed that huckleberries were a specific subset of raspberries, but a quick internet search informed me that they were closer to the blueberry. Whatever they are they are completely incredible and I now must search out the actual fruit. Even if it requires I complete the time machine I've been building in my attic.

As I peer across my vast 0.08 acre backyard, I am reminded of a few things. Number one, it has been the rainiest season on record and although today called for yet another day of showers, I am sitting on my deck with the umbrella up, sipping on a bottle of orange pop like it were a fine wine. It most certainly isn't, but circumstantially, it might as well be.

Finally my once neglected lawn looks good and I can sit around for a minute while instead of my dogs enjoying the sunshine, they sit by the door and bark like jerks. The birds seem to be enjoying the weather so I rely on them to remind me that summer is right around the bend. Not much says more to me about summer than orange pop.

This particular orange pop is nothing special. You've had it a hundred times if you've had it once. Does that make it bad? Nope. I think this is the model of what orange pop should be, though. It reminds me of a childhood spent at McDonalds with my family. It reminds me of simpler times.

I don't drink a lot of orange pop. There are just other things I would rather drink. Not today, though, man.

Did you read in the paper today about how science has created a human/fruit hybrid? They are adorable and completely creepy at the same time. The article said that they have begun making demands and it looks like they are organizing for a revolt. The "fruitmans" are going to over take the world! It is up to us to put a stop to their movement. We shall call our counter movement Picabi and to raise funds for our struggle we will can the blood of our enemies (which just happens to be delicious juice) and sell it to the populace. As a warning to the fruitmans we will put pictures of their deceased on the cans.

I for one can vouch that the grape fruitman, or fruitlady, has a very sweet taste. It's almost candy like, but it still tastes natural. It's way sweeter than I expected even though there is no sugar added. If you like grape juice and want to help exterminate the fruitmans buy a can today!

This is the diet version of the Ex energy drink I reviewed a few weeks ago. In that I detailed my feelings on kombucha. Basically it's foul sludge. In the ordinary version the taste wasn't that bad. I actually kind of enjoyed it. Unfortunately in this diet version the grossness prevails. It's not as strong as other kombucha drinks, but it still tastes a little bit like rot to me. I think the sweetener in the other one covered it up. The stevia in this lets it shine. Boo on you stevia. You have been so kind to me in the past why did you have to do this to me now? This doesn't taste chemical like most energy drinks, but I think I might prefer that to the kombucha taste. If you're into that kind of thing, you will probably love this.

This drink is good. So high in calories that I felt like only drinking half, but whatever. It goes down really smooth and that's because it's a thick drink. Not milkshake thick, unless you leave your milkshakes in the car when you run into the store to get your pre-packaged noodle dinners that you feel like you need to get because you've got a coupon that makes them free so you can feel like you're on Extreme Couponing. The erythritol doesn't kick in until the drink is long gone down your seemingly endless gullet and last for a strangely long time, like minutes. Erythritol, to me at least, makes my mouth water, and although it's not a bad thing, and I can deal with it, it lets me know that "something" is going on continuously with what I just ingested.

As a protein drink this is awesome. Although it's only got 16 grams of protein on top of a whopping 260 calories, you've probably just burned it off whilst running a half marathon. Don't worry, pal, you'll hit that 26.2 soon enough and you can tear that "13.1" sticker off your Rav 4 and slap on a fresh, new, impressive "26.2" sticker. No one thinks you're less of a person because you've got that on there. I don't think that I could put a "6.55" sticker on my car. Cheer up. Put those sweet shoes, extra short shorts, and dumb hat on and go run that marathon.

There is a paragraph on this bottle talking about how the company searches the globe for the rarest, and most exotic teas. I can just imagine tea-pickers scaling treacherous cliffs on mountains just to clip a few leaves from a tea plant growing near the top. These fine folks risk life and limb everyday so that the populace may enjoy the highest of quality tea. As a fan of tea I applaud them for that. Think of how pissed off those tea-pickers have to be when they see what is to become of their sacred harvest. They probably think that their tea is going to be sold in high-end markets or in expensive restaurants, not sold in 64oz plastic bottles. Worst of all to them has to be that they have gone to the far corners of the globe to get this tea and then their employers have mixed in peaches from the southern United States. I can just see them sitting around base camp grumbling about how their work is going to waste.

What I have to say to them is get over yourselves. Sure your tea isn't being served to kings, but it is being made into one hell of a product. Also, peaches are delicious and are way better than most exotic fruits. They are exceptionally great in teas. Old Orchard has taken the work of these self-righteous tea-pickers and turned it into a wonderfully light tea, with just a hint of peach. If I were them this tea would make me proud of my life's work.

For all my talk about cowboys; how I think they are awesome and how it's a possibly calling in my life, I am not a fan of western movies. Sometimes they are okay, but in general I find them boring and hokey. A lot of adults in my life growing up were into them, so I've seen a decent amount and they just don't do anything for me. The same thing goes for kung-fu movies. I'd rather watch Fletch for the 900th time than watch John Wayne or Clint Eastwood.

There are cowboys on this bottle and I have to say I don't think they would drink this. It's really good, but I would never in a million years pick it out as sarsaparilla in a blind taste test. I would bet all the tea in China that it was a fancy cola. Even with my eyes open and knowing what it is supposed to be, I'd still say it was a cola. It has a hint of root beer/sarsaparilla to it, but it's mostly a brewed cola taste. I really enjoyed it, but it doesn't taste like what it's supposed to, so I feel like I should deduct a bottle. Maybe that is John Wayne on the bottle and he thinks he's too good for "cowboy swill" and he just wanted a nice cola. The directors told him that it wouldn't work right in the film so they put it in a sarsaparilla bottle so it would look authentic. Damn fake cowboys ruining everything for everyone.

Without a doubt, teeth are shattering everywhere this pop is sold. Dentists live in houses larger than you can ever imagine. Children are bouncing off the walls. Parents are all poor because they spent all their money on their children's cavities. For what? 16 fluid ounces of delicious, fantastic strawberry flavored pop. It almost doesn't taste like pop, but like liquid candy. It's quite exquisite, if you think about it. It's probably important that parents don't let their kids touch this stuff, as it is so good and so sweet that they won't be able to get their sticky little hands off of it. Seriously, if you live where this is sold, don't let your kids come with you to the grocery store because once they see that red bottle, it's over. You're going to have a toothless, fourteen year old kid living with you. Bad news. It's good, though. If you aren't a turd about fake sugar and just want to cut loose for a bit, get some. Editor Dan brought this back from a trip to Detroit and I just finally got around to reviewing it. It was worth the wait. Tell your friends but don't dare tell your children.